#I have questions because I'm pretty sure it's from their pride collection

[megsamforever]

Got this on clearance for $12 today and posted it on Instagram and apparently my sister has the same one in green

[unsolicited-opinions]

this is a genuine question: why do you think the queer community is so bad when it comes to the antisemitism and even the overt Hamas support? I can’t figure it out at all. Jews have always been a huge part of and even pioneers in the community. now we’re banned and harassed and unsafe. I see a pride flag online these days and feel terror because I expect a watermelon or red triangle to be right next to it, it’s happened so often. I’d feel safer in a church than at a pride event. why do they hate us so much now? even those of us who are also part of that community?

I've been trying to figure that out, too.

I was pretty sure that the origin was in postmodern academia, but I didn't know much more.

I have never formally engaged with Queer Studies, nor with Gender and Sexuality Studies,so I had no idea where to start.

Someone on #jumblr (I regret that I don't recall who) pointed out this collection of essays, Poisoning the Wells: Antisemitism in Contemporary America.

Chapter 2 is "Pinkwashing Antisemitism: The Origins of Queer Anti-Israeli Discourse by Dr. R. Amy Elman.

I'm way outside my wheelhouse here, despite holding a degree in one of the social sciences.[1]

I'm going to try to summarize this in a way which is shorter and more digestible than reading the whole thing, but there's a link to the whole thing at the bottom of this Very Long Post.

Disclaimers:

1. Acknowledging the depth of my ignorance:

I don't have the contextual knowledge to know with confidence if this is an intellectually honest argument, or even if the history is fairly presented. If anyone on Jumblr has more experience studying this topic, I'd sure welcome their thoughts.

2. A note to LGBTQ+ readers on "queer":

I understand that some in the LGBTQ+ community don't care for the term "queer," and some regard it as a slur. I have tried, for this reason, to cease using this word in my daily life. Below, I'm going to use the word "queer" a lot here, however, because Elman does and the scholars she discusses do. If you're among those who dislike this term or find it hurtful, I hope that you will not see my doing so as a slur or an insult

3. My editorial comments are in blue.

4. This is long. Not as long as the article itself, but long for Tumblr. You are forewarned.

Got a coffee or an energy drink?

Continue below the break:

Elman says the increasing appeal of queer politics was for specifically millennials, and the BDS movement actively pursued a "queer" plank to broaden its appeal.

This tracks.

She says that Leaders from both movements saw a potential for synergy, with some suggesting queers could transform BDS from a "vanguard movement" to a "popular" movement.

Elman gives a history of the "Queer Movement" in which she argues its adherents are particularly susceptible to BDS's "pinkwashing" accusations.

She says:

- "Queer" is an intentionally broad, deliberately ambiguous term encompassing various sexual and gender minorities who reject traditional LGBT politics as conservative.

- The queer movement emerged in the late 1980s and early 1990s in opposition to both neo-liberalism and feminists who critiqued sadomasochism (S/M) and the sex industry.

- This opposition to feminist critiques of the eroticization of inequality, says Elman, is a crucial factor in understanding queer politics' susceptibility to antisemitism.

- Elman says early queer activists prioritized passion over reason, making them potentially vulnerable to harmful ideologies.

The Feminist Sex Wars

- There was conflict, says Elman, between lesbian feminists and proponents of S/M, arguing that the increasing acceptance of S/M within the lesbian community weakened its ability to resist fascist values.

I don't see the need to politicize whatever one enjoys in private as long as it is safe, sane, and consensual, but okay.

- Elman draws a parallel between the eroticization of fascism in the past (referencing Susan Sontag and Sheila Jeffreys' concerns about Nazi aesthetics in queer subcultures) and the current uncritical embrace of certain radical ideologies.

- Elman says the embrace of "outlaw" identities and the downplaying of the harmful implications of S/M practices (including the use of fascist symbols for parodic purposes) are problematic trends within queer politics.

Which made me think of seeing Queers for Palestine protestors calling Jews "Nazis" and combining the swastika with the mogen David.

- Elman argues that the rise of queer politics led to the silencing and marginalization of lesbian feminists who focused on women's rights and opposed the industrialization of sexuality and S/M.

Like Andrea Dworkin?

- Elman says Queer Theorists have dismissive attitudes towards lesbian feminist concerns and that the once-flourishing spaces and intellectual contributions of lesbian feminists were diminished within the broader "queer" coalition.

As a cishet man, I had thought the broadening of the movement, the addition of each letter in LGBTQ+, gave all parts of it more strength, but it seems obvious to me now that lesbian concerns aren't always the same (and may not be aligned with) gay men's concerns, enby concerns, trans concerns, etc.

I can see how being subsumed by a larger movement could dampen the voices of its different component populations and diminish the perceivability of the points on which they don't agree.

Judith Butler features prominently here.

- Elman seems to say Butler's nuanced stance on her lesbian identity is rather different from her non-nuanced Jewish identity, and it is "as a Jew" that she declares her anti-Zionism.

...in 1989, [Butler] was asked to provide a lesbian lecture and responded that she would rather describe herself as "being" homosexual because identifying as lesbian felt "neither true nor false." Yet, she demonstrates no similar reluctance to claim a Jewish identity years later. To the contrary, it is "as a Jew" that she condemns Israel and vows to develop a Jewish opposition to Zionism.

A decade after Butler vacillated over being lesbian, she similarly described her nearly two-decade-long relationship to S/M discourse as "active and complicated," a position in keeping with the tenor of her fourth book, The Psychic Life of Power. In it, Butler speaks of her "paradoxical" embrace of "injurious" names because they "constitute" her "socially."

Huh. Jewish identity without nuance? I'm not sure I've ever seen that...?

- Elman says Butler's engagement with S/M discourse and her concept of erotically embracing oppressive power structures are linked to the potential eroticization of antisemitism and the demonization of Israel.

As Martha Nussbaum explains, the central thesis of The Psychic Life of Power is that “we all eroticize the power structures that oppress us, and can thus find sexual pleasure only within their confines.”

If Nussbaum is correct, there may be no better explanation for the ongoing eroticization of antisemitism and the demonization of Israel.

So concerned was Nussbaum by Butler’s influence on American women’s studies programs in the 1990s that she concluded,

"There is despair at the heart of the cheerful Butlerian enterprise. The big hope, the hope for a world of real justice, where laws and institutions protect the equality and the dignity of all citizens, has been banished, even perhaps mocked as sexually tedious. Judith Butler’s hip quietism is a comprehensible response to the difficulty of realizing justice in America. But it is a bad response. It collaborates with evil. Feminism demands more and women deserve better."

"Hip quietism" makes me want to read more Nussbaum.

Butler was chair of the International Gay and Lesbian Human Rights Commission (later renamed Outright First)...which was a UN recognized organzation. While the name might cause the casual observer to to think it would focus on gays and lesbians, it has seemed to focus on Israel.

Outright First claims it advances LGBT rights through awards consistent with its agenda, yet the first of these was not made until 2005, fifteen years after its founding and the same year that BDS was ostensibly established.

That year, the organization honored Mary Robinson, who decriminalized homosexuality as Ireland’s first woman president (from 1990-1997).

Robinson also served as the UN’s first woman High Commissioner for Human Rights and, in this capacity, Robinson oversaw the 2001 UN World Conference against Racism, Xenophobia and Related Intolerance in Durban, South Africa.

Despite the conference’s noble rhetoric, the antisemitism that it manifest led Robinson to resign in disgrace.

It was in Durban that “anti-racist” organizers revived the scurrilous Soviet charge from decades earlier that Zionism is a form of racism and Israel is an apartheid state. Although Robinson called these allegations inappropriate and unacceptable, she did not reject the conference’s final declaration that contained them.

Ach. The feckin' Irish again.

...in 2008, Desmond Tutu became the second recipient of the organization’s “Outspoken” Award. Tutu, a Nobel prize winning anti-apartheid activist, is also an outspoken critic of Israel for “practicing apartheid” in its policies against the Palestinians. While he too condemned bigotry against gay men and lesbians, like Robinson, Tutu may be better known for his opposition to Israel than for any long-standing and deep defense of LGBT rights. Thus, one wonders whether the “critical partnerships” Outright First fostered were less those that promoted the world’s LGBT communities than those that helped legitimize anti-Israel activism.

This example, it seems to me, is a more appropriate illustration of “pinkwashing”:

that is, pinkwashing may be less about bolstering Israel’s reputation than providing Israel’s sworn enemies a seemingly progressive mask behind which to conceal their animus.

Pinkwashing, Triangles, and Softcore Holocaust Denial

The term "pinkwashing" initially referred to corporate profiteering from pink-themed breast cancer awareness campaigns.

Elman contrasts this with the reclamation of the pink triangle by gay activists as a symbol of defiance after the Stonewall riots, noting that this is a "disturbing" appropriation of a Nazi symbol.

Years before American corporate executives bolstered sales through gender-conforming pink promotionals to women, American gay male activists openly embraced pink to signify their gendered defiance after the Stonewall riots of 1969.

This political reclamation manifested itself in their adoption of the pink triangle Nazis used to denote and facilitate the destruction of those men they identified as homosexual. That this exclusively male Nazi symbol came to signify LGBT rights is disturbing and reveals a movement that, whether through ignorance or choice, embraced a fascist aesthetic

Is that fair? The idea of reclaiming is to take the symbol away from the oppressor and redefine it, right?

ACT UP's use of the pink triangle and its analogies between the AIDS crisis and the Holocaust are presented as examples of "softcore" Holocaust denial that paved the way for later strained comparisons.

By 1987, the Nazi pink symbol gained American prominence when the AIDS Coalition to Unleash Power (ACT UP) used it for its logo, which also read “Silence Equals Death.”

Founded by Larry Kramer, ACT UP’s mission involved combating the public’s indifference to “the AIDS Holocaust.” Equating the epidemic with Jewish genocide, ACT UP’s gay pride float that year depicted a concentration camp within which activists posed behind barbed wire. Kramer’s book, Reports from the Holocaust: The Making of an AIDS Activist, further popularized this agitprop and the pink triangle marked its cover. As the HIV death toll mounted across the globe, ACT UP’s rhetoric and the Nazi triangle became internationally ubiquitous

So Elman believes this was softcore Holocaust denial through universalization/appropriation by the queer movement.

Holocaust images...absent the Jews. We see a lot of that on social media from the LGBTQ+ community right now.

BDS and "pinkwashing"

Sarah Schulman, an ACT UP alum, was as a key figure in popularizing the "pinkwashing" accusation against Israel. Here's an inside look at how that happened:

And here's Schulman's 2011 NYT piece:

If you need to get past the paywall, use this link.

Schulman's argument is that Israel's promotion of its LGBTQ+ rights is a cynical tactic to conceal human rights violations against Palestinians.

It couldn't be a natural outcome of an electorate with a majority which is socially liberal enough to not want to persecute their LGBTQ+ family members? Why not?

Oh, it's because Jews are sneaky and devious /s

Elman critiques Schulman's anti-racist pretense, arguing it invisibilizes Israel's diverse population and misrepresents the motivations behind Israel's LGBTQ+ initiatives.

The investment in Tel Aviv as a gay vacation destination is acknowledged, but its negative framing by BDS as "pinkwashing," says Elman, creates not just an entry point for antisemitism, but also a permission structure.

Soon "pinkwashing" took on a different meaning from the one intended by the women who originally coined it.

When applied by "pinkwatchers" whose sights are trained exclusively on Israel, the accusation became an entry point for antisemitism.

According to Wikipedia, it now describes "a variety of marketing and political strategies aimed at promoting products, countries, people or entities through an appeal to gay-friendliness in order to be perceived as progressive, modern and tolerant."

As Cary Nelson observed, "the pinkwashing accusation gives license" to condemn Israel, while discounting all of its achievements (e.g. legal protection against sexual orientation discrimination, recognition of same sex marriages, joint adoption, and open military service) without any reservation.

Want to know the first thing Sarah Schulman posted to Twitter on 10/7/23?

Here's Canary Mission's page about Schulman.

Elman continues:

There may be no better way to simultaneously encourage antisemitism and dismiss Israel’s LGBT initiatives (whatever their shortcomings) than to insist those efforts undermine the rights of Palestinians.

Were it not for BDS double-speak, Schulman could not maintain that she “never” betrayed queer people, despite her having acted in “solidarity” with “presumably straight Palestinians” to oppose Israel’s LGBT community.

Like countless other “queers” who take “pride” in being “ashamed” Jews, she received political “guidance” from “presumably straight” folks like Omar Barghouti, the purported founder of BDS.

Known for his explicit desire to “euthanize” the “Zionist project” and his vocal opposition to the two-state solution, Barghouti insists that not even “the end of occupation” will end his struggle.

Elman wraps up:

Like “Islamophobia,” “pinkwashing” and its corollary “homonationalism” are accusations often employed to silence critics while simultaneously providing those who issue them the appearance of being concerned about LGBT people and other minorities. Yet, this posturing offers little in return.

In fact, these denunciations are in keeping with the Organisation of Islamic Cooperation’s longstanding assault on homosexual conduct, gender equality, and universal human rights at myriad UN fora under the insidious cover of anti-racism and anti-imperialism.

You can grab a PDF of the whole book here.

That BDS similarly promotes itself through the cynical appropriation of social movements and ostensibly progressive claims that vilify the Jewish state represents a consummate act of public diplomacy in which anti-semitism itself has been pinkwashed.

_________

You read the whole thing, so have a cookie: 🍪

[1] I agree with Neil Postman that the social sciences would more accurately be called moral theologies...and are not sciences.

You can read more about Postman's point here if you want to know what I mean by that..

[coff33andb00ks]

Rule Breaker - Pt 3

max Verstappen x single mom!reader

{masterlist}{prev} {next}

warnings: cursing, jos is an even bigger asshole, barely proofread, logan's there, glazed-over mentioning of childhood trauma Summary: Max has it all...right? Besides, he's too busy collecting trophies and completing side quests for anything else. Until... You moved across a whole ass ocean to start over, uprooting you and your son's lives to become social media admin for cars that drive in circles. word count: 7937 (i got so carried away holy shit) auth.note: listen, eagle boy swayed me with his pretty eyes and soft voice... also this was a great excuse for me to rewatch Mulan for the millionth time. spotify: i made a playlist

"Team meeting in ten," GP commented.

Max nodded, eyes following y/n through the window as she paced in the small courtyard, talking on her phone. He hadn't seen or spoken to her since they'd finished the Q and A the day before. Surprisingly, he'd actually enjoyed it. He told himself it was because she'd made sure to gather thought provoking questions, not because some of his answers had made her laugh and her laugh made him feel relaxed. GP turned to look out the window and Max quickly looked down at his plate, even though he'd just taken the last bite of his breakfast. When the engineer turned back, Max could feel his amused expression.

"Looks like it might rain," GP said casually.

Nodding again, Max washed down the last of his food with his coffee. "More chances for fuck ups."

"It's not a crime."

He finally looked up. "What?"

GP nodded towards the window.

"If rain was a crime, would they put god in prison?" Max asked, keeping his face blank when his friend snorted and rolled his eyes.

"You're not a robot, Max."

From the corner of his eye he could see her approaching Christian, who was coming from the garage. "I never said I was."

"Then stop acting like one. You're still young, I guess you're attractive, and you're at the top of your career."

"Thank you for that endorsement," Max said drily. Horner had stepped aside with y/n, whose hands were moving as she spoke to him. "I'll be sure and put it in my Tinder profile."

GP's eyebrows lifted. "You have one?"

"Fuck no." He pushed his chair back. "I don't have time."

"Max," his friend sighed.

"I'll see you at the meeting." He took care of his dishes, making sure to thank the staff working the dining area before leaving the motorhome, telling himself it was so he could get some fresh air and clear his head for the meeting. His legs carried him around the corner to where y/n and Christian were still talking, and he boldly approached.

"…speak to him." Christian shot a look at Max.

"If he was joking I wouldn't think twice about it.," y/n said, frowning. "But I don't see how it could have been. He was extremely rude, implied I wasn't worth hiring based on my looks, and…"

Max kept his mouth shut, knowing she needed to do the speaking. Giving her a faint nod when she looked at him, he felt a glimmer of pride when she straightened her shoulders.

"I didn't spend four years in college – sorry, university – and work three jobs at once to be demeaned. I know I have the skills and drive to do my job, but if this team continues to foster that sort of toxic environment you'll have to look for a new social media admin," she said firmly.

He tried to but couldn't keep the smile from forming.

Christian looked slightly impressed, giving her a reassuring nod. "I understand. He's not employed by us, he's only here by our good graces."

"I know he's the father of the your top driver, and I spoke with him before coming to you," she said, as though Max wasn't standing right there.

Christian pressed his lips together and Max knew he was trying to hide his smile. "Of course. We'll deal with it, I promise."

"Thank you." She relaxed, sighing softly. "I'm not trying to cause trouble, Mr. Horner."

"It's Jos fucking Verstappen, he's the trouble," Christian muttered. "Don't worry, alright? If anyone ever gives you a problem, reach out to me."

She nodded. "Thanks again. Oh!" She turned to Max, smiling hopefully. "I already asked Checo and he said yes to doing it this week. Would you be up to 24 hours with you at Monaco? Not the full 24 hours since I don't want to watch you sleep, but I just stick with you for the rest of the day and show fans a behind the scenes look at what a practice or quali day for you looks like."

"Why?" he asked, still stuck on the thought of her watching him sleep.

"Well! Casual fans don't realize how much work goes into being you. The training and diet and analyzing and teamwork. All the stuff you do even before practice and quali, like walking the track."

"For the whole day."

"Yeah, except for sleeping. I mean, that would probably really ramp up views, but—"

"I'm not that interesting though," he said. Why would anyone want to spend a practice or quali day with him?

"Oh don't start with the modesty. You're an elite athlete. I'm not asking you to invite me into your bedroom and let me show your bed to the world, just a small peek at what you're like. We can highlight your sim racing, explain how it's helped you learn the tracks so well. Talk about your suit, why the fireproof is so important." She tipped her head. "Maybe a shot of your suitcase to prove you do have clothes other than Red Bull gear? If you do, because I'm beginning to think you only have one pair of jeans and a Red Bull shirt."

He laughed at that, shaking his head. "I guess I can do it. We'll see how Checo's goes."

"Perfect. Speaking of, I'm doing that tomorrow so I gotta start posting to hype it up—"

"Meeting in two minutes," Christian told them.

Max looked at him, chagrined to admit he'd forgotten the man was there. "On the way," he promised, rubbing the back of his neck when Christian shot him a knowing look and headed off. Turning back to y/n, he cleared his throat. "I'm not showing my suitcase to the world."

"Is it that embarrassing?" she asked, clicking her tongue in sympathy. "Do you have Red Bull boxers too?"

"No, I—" he cut off, remembering the company's joke birthday gift to him the year before. "Okay, I do, but they're not in my suitcase."

"At least let me throw a team logo pillow on the bed—"

"Absolutely not."

She fell into step next to him, an extra bounce in her walk. "Are you saying there's already one there?"

He shouldn't say it. It would probably be inappropriate. He told himself that repeatedly, even as he drew a breath and opened his mouth. "Why the interest in my bed?"

"I told you, I love sleep. Oh." She frowned. "It'll be a hotel bed anyway."

Opening the motorhome door for her, he glanced up at the cloudy sky as the aroma of flowers he couldn't identify washed over him. "No?"

"Are you saying you get an Airbnb?" she asked in confusion. "Do they even have that in Monaco—"

"You didn't know? I thought you asked Google everything," he teased.

Her brow furrowed deeply. "Didn't know what?"

"I live in Monaco. So no, it wouldn't be a hotel room."

The confusion melted away, her eyes widening a little. "Oh. Wow."

"Wow?" he echoed, heading to the stairs.

"You're rich rich."

"Don't say that," he requested, making a face. She made wealth sound dirty.

"In my defense I didn't think to look up everyone's salary when I got hired. I mean I knew you were rich, but—"

"Stop saying it—"

"Sorry." She smiled sweetly, which told him she wasn't sorry at all. "Have a good meeting, Max. Oh, wait!"

He stopped at the top of the stairs, huffing when she lifted her phone and snapped a photo of him. "Why do you need a picture of me right now?"

"To show the world that even Max Verstappen, three time world champion, record breaker and maker, is sometimes late for a meeting."

Dragging a hand over his face, he sighed. "You're in a strange mood today."

"I'm getting comfortable. It's what I do. Lull everyone into thinking I'm sweet and quiet, then once I know I can relax I let my true self out."

"I'm scared to ask what your true self is," he admitted, ignoring his phone when it began to buzz with a phone call.

"Chaos," she told him, snapping another photo. "And I'm so putting a team logo pillow on your bed next week."

"No," he warned her as she turned to go back down the stairs. "No pillow."

"Go to your meeting or I'll post on Twitter than you have Red Bull boxers!"

"You wouldn't."

"Try me, rich boy."

And, damn everything, he laughed. She spun at the bottom of the stairs, giving him a smile that was pure sunshine. Not about to tempt fate, he held up his hands in surrender and went to the conference room for the meeting, still smiling as he slid into his seat next to Checo. When the meeting was over he hung back, his smile long gone as he waited for whatever Christian had to say.

"Two things," Christian started, leaning back in his seat with a sigh.

Max rolled his water bottle between his hands and stayed silent.

"Your dad."

He nodded. "I'll talk to him—"

"He's on probation now. If he so much as looks at anyone the wrong way, he'll be banned from the garage and the paddock." Christian steepled his hands. "It would probably be best if I did it now, but…"

"I'll talk to him," Max said again, already dreading that conversation. "Sometimes he speaks before he thinks, and unfortunately y/n was on the receiving end."

"Are you defending him?"

"No. I'm saying…" What was he saying? He didn't even know himself, so how could he explain it to Christian?

"You're saying what he would expect you to say. Max." Christian leaned forward. "I know he's your father. But – what did y/n say? He creates a toxic environment."

Max was on his feet and pacing before he realized he was moving. "What do you want me to do? Cut him out of my life completely? He's my dad. He made me who I am." Slinging his cap onto the table, he ran a hand through his hair. "He gave up on a marriage so I could achieve my dreams. I know people call it abuse and yeah if I could change the past I would, or at least some parts, but… Would I be me if he didn't do what he did?"

Christian sighed and Max hung his head. The bitterness between team principal and his father had been around as long as he could remember. And he understood, he did. Most days even he didn't like Jos that much.

"What he said to y/n was unacceptable. I know that. When she told me, I…" He paused, unsure whether he wanted to admit what his first thoughts had been. Starting to pace again, he stopped at the window and looked outside, noting that the earlier clouds had rolled away. "I was ready to tell you to ban him."

Christian nodded. "You sure you want to talk to him? Because I'll do it. I don't have a problem telling him to go fuck himself."

"I should do it," Max said with a sigh.

There was silence from Christian, and Max finally snatched up his hat and sat back down. "I'll do it, Max."

He would never admit to the rush of relief at those words. "What was the other thing?"

"Y/n."

He set his jaw. "What about her?"

"She's off limits."

Max blinked. "How do you mean?"

"I've seen the way you look at her."

He pinched his eyebrows together. He wasn't aware he'd been looking at her in any particular way. He just…looked at her. It was true that she did make him smile a little bit more than he usually did, but that had to be due to her self-professed chaos—

"It's in her contract. Yours too, I'm sure."

"I'm – Nothing's happened." Yes, she'd slept in his private room and yes, his sheets had smelled of her and given him dreams he shouldn't have been dreaming. But nothing else had happened.

Soft hands, plush hips, bright eyes, lush mouth—

"Keep it that way. We can't afford another PR disaster."

Max snorted, unsure how anything he did – not that he would do anything – with y/n could come close to the disaster Christian had caused. "I'm not texting her, so."

"Cheeky bastard," Christian muttered. "Go get prepped for practice."

Grabbing his water bottle from the floor, Max left. Off limits. What the hell did that even mean? He couldn't be friendly with her? He couldn't keep his promise to watch a movie with Kevin?

Fuck Christian anyway, he wasn't one to talk about someone being off limits, he decided. He went down for another coffee, inconspicuously looking around for y/n. Not seeing her, he turned his attention to the upcoming practice, trying his best to push his worries about his father to the back of his mind.

When he approached the garage he saw her, and he frowned slightly when he saw Logan talking to her. Did they know each other? They obviously did, judging by the way she laughed at something he said. Sourness filled his mouth and he gulped down his water, grunting when a hand suddenly clapped his shoulder.

"Mate, you coming out tonight?" Lando asked with a grin.

"Not a good idea to go out before quali, mate," Max said automatically.

"I'm not gonna get drunk. A few of us are just going out to eat. You in?"

"I think I'll skip it. But we'll go out Sunday?"

Lando's grin widened and Max chuckled, knowing he was remembering what little he could of the celebration in Miami. Lando loved to party after a race. "Absolutely. Good practice, yeah?"

Max grinned, bumping fists with him before they parted. The American was still talking to y/n. Didn't he need to get ready? Go fluff his hair or something? Walking up to them, he nodded at Logan. "Have a good practice alright, mate?"

"Oh, yeah, better get to the garage." Logan turned and flashed a smile at y/n. "I'll see you later, okay?"

"Sure. Be safe," she said.

She was smiling a little too hard, in his opinion. And then she was—

Hugging? Him?

Max felt like he might vomit.

"Later, Max," Logan said as he jogged off.

"What did he want?" Max asked.

She looked up from checking something on her camera. "Hm? Oh, nothing, just chatting. He's nice."

"Yeah, a complete sweetheart," he said with a roll of his eyes. Then, shoving the sourness away, he cleared his throat. "I've got the sim racing tomorrow after quali, then the race is Sunday."

Y/n blinked, then nodded slowly. "Yes?"

"I promised Kevin we'd watch the movie?" he reminded her.

"Oh, yeah. Don't worry about it, I know you're too busy. He hasn't even mentioned it again, I'm sure he's already forgotten." She turned slightly and knelt to take pictures of his car in the garage.

"But I promised."

"Max, it's really not that big a deal."

It was. To her it might not be. If she couldn't do something with her son when she had promised she could, she was able to do it another time. He couldn't just show up to her flat to watch a movie. And Kevin had been so excited… He tried not to remember all the promises that had been made to him as a child, promises he had learned at an early age would never be kept. "Y/n…"

She looked up at him, drawing a breath to, he was sure, tell him again that it was fine. But she paused, studying his face, and he heard her sigh as she lowered the camera. "This is really important to you, isn't it?"

"And to Kevin," he pointed out.

"He did talk about it a lot last night before he went to sleep. Made sure the hotel tv had Disney plus and asked if Ellie would buy some popcorn…" She sighed, smiling. "Did you want to do it next week before Monaco?"

"I was thinking today? After the practice and debrief. If you're not too busy," he added, unintentionally looking towards the Williams garage.

"No, I don't have any plans. Just editing and posting, and I can do that while you two watch a movie. I've got plans for dinner, but there's plenty of time."

"Plans?" he asked, trying his best to sound casual.

"Yeah! Logan offered to take me out to see a little of the town. He's offered to be my tour guide."

At night. Now he knew he would vomit. "How delightful," he managed.

"Yeah, he's sweet. Don't worry, I won't give away any secrets."

The sourness returned, doubled, and he recognized it now as jealousy. Which was beyond ridiculous, because she wasn't his to be jealous over. Seeing that she was about to stand he immediately offered his hand, easily steadying her as she rose to her feet.

"Thanks."

He wondered what sort of cream she used on her hands. They were so soft. "Y/n—"

"Max!"

Y/n's smile faded and she practically snatched her hand away. "I'll message you the hotel info," she said, turning on her heel and sweeping into the garage.

"I need to talk to you," his father demanded.

Looking into the garage, he saw that he had a full thirty minutes before practice began. No way out of this conversation. Nodding, he followed his father to a relatively secluded spot, keeping his head down.

*-*

"His father is such an asshole, honestly. We were talking outside the garage and he marched up like he owns the—" Y/n glanced to make sure Kevin still had his headphones on and wasn't listening in. Seeing that he did and wasn't, she turned back to Ellie. "—fucking place and barked at him all 'I need to talk to you' like the guy isn't about to go out on the track."

Ellie made a face. "What a prick. What did he have to say to him that was so important?"

Y/n shrugged, bending to gather the dirty pair of socks off the floor. "No idea. He dragged him off and I could see them but couldn't hear anything. I felt so bad for Max."

"I would have too. And he didn't say anything when he got back to the garage?" Ellie smoothed the bedding while y/n stuffed the dirty laundry into a sack.

"Not to me." Sighing, y/n dropped the sack inside the bathroom and then got down on her hands and knees to make sure nothing embarrassing was lying around. "He looked like a kid getting yelled at, Ellie. I had no idea his dad was that much of an—"

She saw Kevin moving and stopped, getting to her feet while he set his tablet and headphones on the table. "Gotta pee, mama," he said, sliding out of the chair.

"Did you finish your game?" she asked while Ellie looked around to make sure the hotel room was presentable.

"Yeah, it's easy," Kevin said.

"Are you gonna tell him?" Ellie whispered.

"No… What if he can't make it? I don't want to get his hopes up." Y/n pushed the chair in at the table and checked the tablet, seeing that Kevin had indeed finished the alphabet game she'd downloaded that morning for him.

"If he doesn't come, maybe we can—" Ellie laughed when there was a knock at the door. "Never mind."

"It might not be him," y/n muttered, even though she knew it had to be. He'd been so insistent, and she'd been able to tell that it was possibly more important to him than it would be to Kevin.

"I'll make sure the lil rugrat washes his hand," Ellie murmured, slipping into the bathroom.

Y/n rubbed her hands on her thighs and went to open the door, giving the hotel room one last glance before doing so. And, just as she'd known, Max was in the hallway. "Hey," she greeted softly, eyes widening a little when she saw he was wearing a pair of sweats and a hoodie. "Holy shit, you're allowed to wear non-Red Bull clothes?"

He snorted, letting out a laugh when she just stared at him. "Very funny."

"No, no, I'm serious. Isn't that in your contract or something?" Stepping back, she finally gave him a grin. "C'mon in."

"I don't know if he's allowed, but I brought some sweets." Max held up the grocery bag hanging from one finger.

"Yeah, he's allowed. No allergies or anything," she assured him, closing the door once he'd stepped inside. "He's washing his—"

"Mister Max!"

Y/n nearly teared up. Her son sounded so excited, and she had a moment of panic for letting him befriend Max. He was too busy to drop by regularly, and after Monaco Kevin would be staying home with Ellie, so—

"There's my little mate!"

Fuck's sake, even Max sounded excited. As though a movie with a three year old was the height of his day. Looking on as he swung Kevin up and spun him in a circle, she took the bag and emptied the packets onto the table while Ellie greeted Max and brought out the popcorn from where she'd hidden it from Kevin. Max and Kevin talked nonstop to one another, Max telling him about practice after Kevin gave him a detailed report on what he'd done all day. The boy grabbed his tablet and showed him the games he'd played, showing off his alphabet skills.

"You're good with letters, yeah? Maybe you'd be good learning a new language?" Max suggested.

"Do you know a new language?" Kevin asked.

"He's really good with him," Ellie whispered to y/n.

"Shh," she hissed. Because she already knew. And she didn't need it pointed out to her. Besides, she was listening to Max tell Kevin about the languages he spoke, then to him rattle off a few sentences in each one, much to Kevin's amazement.

"Can you teach me?" he asked hopefully.

"When I can, kleine maat." Max ruffled Kevin's hair. "That means little mate."

"You're my big mate," Kevin decided.

"Grote maat," Max said, repeating it slowly a couple times before Kevin said it properly. "There you go. You'll be speaking Dutch like a pro in no time."

"You want a drink, Max?" Y/n offered. "We don't have Red Bull, sorry—"

"Water's fine. Thanks."

"Can I have water too, mama?"

Nodding, y/n fixed their drinks while Kevin turned on the TV and opened Disney+, rolling her eyes when he told Max the password so he could put it in for him. She saw that Ellie was putting on her shoes and raised her eyebrows. "Where are you going?"

"Oh, I don't want to intrude on big mate, little mate bonding time," Ellie said with a small smile. Peeling Kevin from Max long enough to give him a quick hug, she grabbed her wallet and phone. "And I've seen Mulan about six hundred times, so I'm just gonna go for a walk. Take pictures. Get a coffee and a pastry."

"Have fun," y/n said.

"Mhmm, you too," Ellie said with a smirk as she left.

She rolled her eyes and handed Max his drink then Kevin his cup. Motioning for Max to have a seat on the small sofa, she couldn't help but smile when Kevin immediately climbed to sit next to him, and had the feeling that before the movie was over her son would be cuddled close to his big mate.

"Join us?" Max asked while Kevin looked for the movie.

"Work," she reminded him, transferring the sweets and popcorn to the coffee table and getting her laptop. "I'll watch from here."

"It doesn't look very comfortable."

"It shouldn't. It's work."

He looked ready to argue, but instead took a sip of his water and grabbed a bag of candy. Tossing it onto the table, he gave a small shrug when she looked at him. "You said you like strawberry milk."

Y/n looked from him to the bag several times. He remembered that? She'd mentioned it during the Q and A, when the question had been other than red bull what's your favorite drink? Staring at the bag, she felt a sudden rush of warmth. No one had bought her candy in so long… "Thank you," she murmured.

"You're welcome," he said softly.

She almost told him he didn't have to, but she knew that he already knew that. He'd done it because… She didn't know. Maybe to apologize for his father's behavior. Maybe to show he listened. Maybe, just maybe, because he'd seen it in the shop, remembered her liking strawberry milk, and had bought it because that was something he did, buy a little something for no other reason than you said you liked it.

She tried to focus on work, but the movie kept getting her attention. Finally she gave up, scheduling the posts she'd edited and closing her laptop. Grabbing a bottle of water, she joined them on the sofa as Mushu revealed himself to Mulan. As she'd expected, Kevin had already crawled into Max's lap, sharing his bag of popcorn with the man as they both focused on the movie.

"Mama," Kevin whispered, reaching for her.

She scooted closer, sighing as he turned so he could lean against her arm. Max shifted, and she tried to act nonchalant when he draped his arm behind her on the back of the sofa. Smoothing her son's hair, she pretended not to notice when the arm slid to her shoulders. He probably hadn't even noticed, she told herself, aware that his eyes were locked on the TV screen, paying attention to the movie. When Kevin's favorite part began he sat up, quickly sliding to the floor to sing along and she fully expected Max to pull away from her.

But he didn't, and she pulled her knees up, unable to focus on anything except the weight of his arm around her. It was solid but not uncomfortable, a very real reminder that she hadn't been in this position in a very long time.

"He's so mean," Kevin mumbled as Shun-Yu appeared on the screen. Y/n waited for him to hurry over to climb into her lap but he chose Max instead, and she bit back a sigh when the man gently soothed him, hugging him close.

"It's okay, kleine maat. The good guys will beat him, yeah?" he murmured, pausing the movie.

Kevin nodded against Max's shoulder. "Yeah but he's bad."

"A lot of people are," Max said softly. "But if we focus on that we don't see the good. Do you think about your happy days more or your bad days?"

"Happy days," Kevin said.

"Because they make you happy, yeah? If you think about bad days you'll always be having them. It's like that with people. Focus on the good and do what you can to keep the bad from happening. Bad happens, but the good will always be there."

"Okay."

"You ready to finish the movie?" Max asked gently.

Kevin nodded.

Max finally looked at y/n, glancing down when he saw the way she was staring at him. "I didn't—"

"No, you're good," she promised in a whisper, picking up the remote to resume the movie then hugging her knees. If she didn't occupy her arms, she would throw them around him. Usually she had to explain those things to Kevin. Ellie helped, of course, but Kevin always came to her for more explanation after a life lesson. But Max… He'd explained it so eloquently and gently that he'd understood. And she didn't know why, but, god help her…

It was the sexiest thing she'd ever witnessed.

His arm stayed around her shoulders through the rest of the movie. When Mulan was cast out, she got a little emotional as she always did, even after over six hundred views, and she felt his arm tighten around her, hesitating a tiny bit before letting her head lean against him. All she could smell now was him, the gentle but memorable sandalwood and amber scent that she remembered well from the day before.

"Gotta pee," Kevin announced a little bit later, clambering down and running to the bathroom. Max took the remote to pause the movie.

Y/n began to pull away, lifting her head when he squeezed her arm.

"You're fine," he whispered.

His face was so close. Seeing a tiny piece of popcorn on his chin, she reached up to brush it away, freezing at the sound of his sharp inhale. "Sorry, you got a little…"

When the hell had his eyes become so blue? Just a day ago they'd been a normal blue. Now they reminded her of the antique blue willow china her great grandmother had treasured. Her gaze slipped to his mouth and quickly moved back to his eyes and she heard him inhale again.

"Max?"

"Y/n, I…" His eyes flicked down and she unconsciously licked her lips.

She knew she shouldn't but she suddenly, desperately, wanted to know what it was like to kiss him. She hadn't thought about kissing anyone in what felt like a lifetime, but now she needed it. Lifting her chin slightly, she dropped her hand to his chest. "Max—"

"Y/n, you… I—"

"Okay!"

She snatched herself away from Max as though she'd been burned, going so far as to jump to her feet while Kevin rushed back to the sofa. "Go ahead and hit play, I'll be back in just a minute," she promised, nearly tripping over nothing in her haste to get as far away from Max as possible. "Hit play, it's fine, I've seen it a million times."

Once in the bathroom she closed the door and leaned against it, covering her face with both hands. What the hell was wrong with her? Just because she hadn't been kissed since— She dropped her hands, wrinkling her nose in thought. Kevin was three years and two months, and… At any rate, it had been so long she'd assumed she was never going to be kissed again. She hadn't even thought about it in ages, because she'd been so focused on work and raising her son and trying to survive. Now, all of a sudden, she was craving one so bad she'd practically begged him.

He'd been about to tell her he couldn't. She was sure of that. Which only made it even more embarrassing. How could he even want to? She'd seen the girlfriends of other drivers on the grid, there was no way he'd be even remotely interested in her. She wasn't a model or tennis star or whatever their occupations were.

Not to mention she couldn't. It would be wrong on so many levels. What kind of impression would her behavior leave on her son? Not to mention the troubles it would cause at work? And it was in her contract that any sort of fraternization with other members of the team were forbidden. She'd known that but she had read the full contract on the flight to Italy. If she and Max did anything it would eventually come out and she'd be jobless again, this time in a foreign country.

Checking her phone when she felt it buzz in her pocket, she sighed while reading Logan's text.

We're still on right?

She wanted to say no. The best thing for her to do would be to suffer through the rest of the movie, say goodbye to Max, have an early dinner, put Kevin to bed, then take the world's coldest shower. But she was already typing out her reply.

Of course! Looking forward to it.

And she was, she thought, seeing the delivered change to read then the three little dots that he was typing a message. Logan was fun. Nice. Completely uninterested in her romantically, she thought with a sigh.

Great. Be there at 8 to pick you up. Give Kev a high 5 for me?

Will do.

Pushing away from the door, she turned on the water to wash her hands and jumped slightly when there was a gentle knock.

"Y/n?"

"I'm almost done," she called.

She heard his sigh. "Can I come in?"

No. "Yeah, sure."

He opened the door and stepped in, and she swallowed when he closed the door behind him. "I…"

"Max, don't," she groaned, washing her hands and grabbing the towel. "You don't have to tell me you wouldn't have… Even if I wanted you to. I know."

"Wouldn't have what?" he asked.

God, could the moment get any more embarrassing? "I – You – Jesus, never mind."

"Kiss you?" he murmured.

Why did the way he said it sound like so much more than a kiss? "It's fine. Go back and finish the movie."

"Y/n, I can't."

"You have to leave?" she asked.

"What – no, not the movie," he said. Cupping a hand over his mouth, he breathed deeply and dropped his hand after a few seconds, looking pained. "I can't kiss you."

"Oh." Oh. "Do you have a girlfriend or—"

"If I had a girlfriend I wouldn't be in this tiny toilet with you."

And she believed him. He didn't seem the type to put himself in a situation that could be misinterpreted if he had a partner. "Right. Of course. Then…"

"It's…" He sighed.

"Are you gay? Because I won't tell any—"

"I'm not gay," he cut in gently. "It's… I'm not allowed to kiss you."

She blinked, suddenly understanding. And she wondered if he'd read the contract, too. "Right. Neither am I."

"Christian talked to you too?"

"No? Why would he?"

"He told me you're off limits." Max shook his head. "Said I look at you or something."

"Oh." He did? And just how did Max look at her? "I see."

"And it's in our contracts. Yours and mine, I mean. So… I can't."

She nodded. "Of course. Understood. No more explanation necessary, Max."

"I wouldn't want you to lose your job," he said softly.

She continued to nod. "Got it. Thanks."

He tipped his head, then reached to take the towel from her and she realized she was still drying her hands. "I'll still be Kevin's friend."

Still nodding, she picked up her hand cream and squeezed a dollop into her palm. "Thanks. He likes you."

"I like him too." He hesitated, watching her carefully. "You okay?"

"Peachy keen," she promised, rubbing the cream into her hands. "Just getting ready for my dinner."

His lips settled into a fine line. "Your date."

The way he said it irritated her. As though she was in the wrong for making plans with a new friend. "It's not a date, but yes."

"I'm sure you'll have a wonderful time," he said with absolutely no emotion.

"Well, he's not contractually obligated to be nice to me, so… I know I will," she said, forcing as much sweetness into her voice as possible.

"I'm not nice because of a contract," he snapped.

"Right, sorry, my mistake. He won't not kiss me because of a piece of paper," she corrected.

Max's eyes flashed, a muscle in his jaw twitching. "I thought it wasn't a date?" he asked carefully.

Good, at least he had some emotion. "Oh, so I'm only allowed to kiss him if we're on a date?"

"I didn't say—" He cut off, pressing his lips tight together and exhaling slowly. "You said it wasn't a date."

"Why do you care either way?"

"Is it a date or not?" he ground out.

"It's not." She took her hair down from the ponytail as he sighed with something like relief. "But it could be in the future."

"What, so you'll kiss him because I won't kiss you?"

"If I kiss him, it'll be because both of us want it," she said. She knew she was being silly, maybe even a little stupid. But he was acting as though he were doing her a favor. As though he were somehow honorable, a gentleman even, because he refused to do what she now knew they both wanted.

"Y/n, I can't—"

"A word I'm sure you're not used to saying about yourself," she muttered under her breath.

"What's that supposed to mean?" he asked, an edge in his voice.

"I didn't know that 'can't' was in your vocabulary is all." Looking at her phone to check the time, she cleared her throat. "Now, if you don't mind, I have to change."

He hesitated while she opened her makeup bag. "Do you want to kiss him?"

"Why do you care?"

He visibly bristled. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"Does he have a reputation for hurting women?" She picked up her hairbrush, and had brushed out her hair completely before he finally answered.

"No." It sounded like it hurt him to say it. "He's nice."

"Then you don't have to worry."

"Where are you going?"

"Oh, no." She laughed humorlessly. "You don't get to ask that. Now please, I have to change."

He stared at her, looking annoyed and irritated, his jaw still twitching. Then, with a huff, he turned to open the door. And froze when he saw the dress hanging from the hook. "Is… That's what you're wearing?"

"Oh my god, Max, you're starting to sound like a jealous boyfriend."

"I'm not jealous," he snorted.

"And you're not my boyfriend," she snapped.

She waited for him to turn around and restart their argument. Altercation. Whatever it was. Instead, he muttered something under his breath and snatched the door open. Went out, closing it. And sounded perfectly normal when he apologized to Kevin and resumed the movie.

Y/n was still annoyed even after changing and doing her makeup. She fussed over her hair, unsure whether she wanted to wear it up or down, finally leaving it down. She was fully aware that she was putting more work into her appearance than she would have if Max hadn't said what he had, and still knew she was being silly and stupid. Hadn't she just told herself nothing could happen between them?

Yes, but maybe if he hadn't acted as though he were doing an immense favor she wouldn't be so upset. I wouldn't want you to lose your job. Indicating that if he kissed her and they were found out, his job was secure.

"Sanctimonious prick," she muttered while she spritzed perfume on her wrists and rubbed them together. As she exited the bathroom the outer door of the room opened and Ellie came in, her jaw dropping when she saw her.

"Holy shit babes, you look amazing!"

She smiled, doing a turn for her friend. "You think so?"

"His jaw is gonna be on the floor the whole time. Holy shit, milf alert." Ellie whistled softly, waving her hand as though overcome with heat.

Y/n giggled. "Thanks."

The movie was ending and Kevin oohed and aahed over her dress, telling her over and over how pretty she was. Max stared at her, his jaw set, but said nothing, looking away and starting to clear up the remains of the snacks.

"Isn't she pretty, grote maat?" Kevin asked.

And even though her back was to him, she felt his gaze. Glancing over her shoulder at him while she fastened her necklace, she watched his shoulders rise and fall with a sigh. "Very pretty, kleine maat."

"You're supposed to tell her," Kevin whispered. "Always tell a lady she's beautiful. Right, aunt Ellie?"

"That's right, buddy," Ellie said proudly. She gave y/n an odd look, silently asking what had happened, narrowing her eyes when y/n merely shrugged.

"Because women are pretty all the time," Kevin went on and y/n smiled. At least she was doing something right…

After fastening her earrings she turned from the dresser, breath catching in her throat when she found Max staring at her. Vaguely aware of Ellie telling Kevin to wash his hands so they could eat the dinner she'd brought, she squatted, getting her heels from her suitcase, along with her shawl.

"Je bent mooi," Max said.

She met his gaze as she rose to her feet. "What's that mean?"

"You're beautiful," he whispered.

"Thank you." And though she knew it was catty, she couldn't help the words that slipped out of her mouth. "Do you think Logan will like it?"

His jaw twitched. "He'd be stupid not to."

"That doesn't answer my question," she practically cooed, slipping on her heels.

He made a sound of disgust in his throat. "He's annoying and dumb sometimes, but he's not stupid. So, yes, I think he'll like it."

"Look at you, hyping me up." She wasn't stupid either, she could hear and feel the jealousy. Good, she thought, getting her small handbag and transferring her few necessities to it.

"Is he picking you up?" Max asked. "Or are you meeting him somewhere?"

"Are you gonna stick around and question his intentions?" she scoffed. "Because if so, I'm meeting him."

"I just—"

"Do you want some pasta, Mister Max?" Kevin asked as he came out of the bathroom with Ellie.

"Ah, maybe next time," Max said after clearing his throat. "You eat some for me, hm?"

She wanted to be mad that he was so good with her son. Proclaim they could only ever be coworkers, then turn around and continue to be her son's favorite person. It wasn't fair. But she didn't want him to be mean to Kevin. So she smiled, fixing her shawl while Max told Kevin he would see him at quali tomorrow, wishing she could stay mad at him but that was impossible, especially when he lifted her son up and gave him a tight hug, telling him he'd enjoyed the movie.

"Can we watch another one day?" Kevin asked hopefully and y/n drew in a breath, prepared to say they couldn't ask Max that, he was too busy.

"Of course we can. You pick the movie and we'll watch it next week?"

He gave Kevin another hug then gently encouraged him to eat his dinner, smiling and saying goodnight to Ellie. Then he turned to her, and she felt an unexpected heat ripple through her as his eyes slowly looked her up and down.

"Thanks for coming," she murmured, walking him to the door.

"I enjoyed it." He rubbed the back of his neck. "For the most part."

"Kevin had a great time."

"Yes. And that's all that matters."

Ouch. "Goodnight, Max."

"Enjoy your dinner with Logan."

"I will."

He rocked back on his heels, exhaling harshly. "I'm…" He cleared his throat. "Goodnight, y/n."

She closed the door and bit back a whine. Stupid, stupid, stupid—

"Talk tonight when you get back?" Ellie asked gently, watching her while she fixed Kevin's plate.

"It's nothing," she insisted, double checking that she had everything in her handbag. Phone, ID and passport, room key, lipstick, mirror. "Just being stupid."

"You're not stupid, mama," Kevin said anxiously.

"I know, thank you. Sorry. Just feeling stupid."

"But you look so pretty," he told her.

She smiled, sighing as she crossed the room to kiss his cheek. "You're the best son in the world, you know that?"

He giggled, rubbing the lipstick from his cheek. "And you're the best mama."

"Only because you're the best son," she insisted.

"Do you like Mister Logan?" he asked suddenly, scrunching his face when she fastened the bib around his neck.

"He's nice. But he's just a friend."

"But." Kevin's lips poked out in thought. "He's taking you on a date."

"Dinner. You know how you miss Cotton?" She took a napkin and cleaned the smudge of lipstick from his cheek when he nodded. "He misses America sometimes. It's kind of like when you pet the cats on your walks."

"Ohh…" Kevin nodded with all the understanding a three year old could muster. "So he's gonna pet you?"

She blinked, instinctively reaching to swat Ellie's arm when her friend choked back a giggle. "Not exactly," she groaned. "We're just gonna talk."

Ellie was still giggling ten minutes later when Logan knocked on the door. "Sorry, sorry," she gasped when y/n shot her a glare. "I'll behave."

"That'll be the day," y/n muttered under her breath as she went to open the door. "Hey," she greeted warmly, smiling up at him.

He was dressed in slacks, a button down, and a jacket. His smile faded a little as he stared at her, and she saw his throat move as he swallowed. "Whoa. You look great."

"Thanks. You do too."

She let him in so Kevin could say hi, ducking into the bathroom to fix her lipstick and remind herself that it was just dinner. Logan was just a friend, or at least would hopefully be a friend. Saying goodnight to her son, she felt her shawl slipping, ignoring Ellie's knowing look when Logan immediately reached to catch it, his hands gentle as he draped it over her shoulders. Just dinner. Just dinner with just a friend.

But when they walked down the street to the restaurant, which was just around the corner, and his hand brushed hers she told herself it was alright. And when he slipped his hand protectively over hers she didn't pull away. In the restaurant when Lando and a few others called out to him she hung back, blushing when Logan gently tugged her along to greet his friends.

"Didn't know you had a date tonight, mate," Oscar commented, nodding to her in greeting.

She could have corrected him. Could have announced to everyone that it wasn't a date. But Logan's bashful chuckle warmed her and she smiled. "We American's have to stick together," she said, enjoying Logan's laugh.

"You know, England is an ally," Lando said with a smirk.

"Still haven't forgiven you for taxation without representation," she sighed.

"That wasn't me," Lando defended while the others laughed.

"Your ancestors though," Oscar told him.

"They were doing what they thought was right? How am I at fault now?"

"You opened your mouth," Carlos said with a laugh.

"C'mon, babe, our table's ready," Logan murmured, hand slipping to the small of her back.

"Enjoy your date!" Oscar called after them.

"I hope you trip over your independence!" Lando yelped when Oscar elbowed him.

Laughing, y/n let Logan guide her to the other side of the dining room, where they were thankfully shielded from the table of drivers. He held the chair for her and she thanked him while the waiter handed them the menus.

"I'm sorry about that. Oscar and Lando… I should have told them it wasn't a date," Logan said once they were alone.

"It's fine," she assured him. "I mean, technically, it is a date."

"I guess so. I just don't want you thinking I'm making it out to more than it is."

"What is it?" she asked.

"Two friends, hopefully. Spending time together." He looked up from his menu. "Probably should have taken you somewhere more casual, huh? This place makes it look like I'm trying to impress you."

She hadn't thought of it like that. "…Are you trying to impress me?"

"Do you want me to?"

Their eyes met and she slowly inhaled, thinking over what the best answer would be.

So you'll kiss him because I won't kiss you?

Do you want to kiss him?

She exhaled, sending thoughts of Max as far away as possible. "I think I do."

He looked relieved and oh, so handsome in this light. "Then I might be trying to impress you a little."

"You're doing amazing so far."

taglist

@spookystitchery | @halleest | @lyannesworld | @llando4norris | @kravitzwhore | @younxii | @silentreader128 | @samantha-chicago | @mrsbrxkkxr | @cmleitora |

[storiesbyjes2g]

3.227 Grill and chill

We hugged and said all the things friends say when they haven't seen each other in a while. "It's been way too long," "good to see you," and so on. But one thing I heard Maia say to Sophia made me question if I had mis-stepped as a husband. She complimented her appearance and asked if she had lost weight. Sophia said she had, and Maia showered her with even more compliments. Of course I noticed her missing weight, but I never said anything about it. I didn't know if I should call attention to it or not because what if I did and she thought I was glad she lost the weight, implying I didn't appreciate her body before? Nothing could be further from the truth. Frankly, I preferred her with the weight, but that doesn't mean I don't like her thinner body. When it comes to women and their bodies, men need perception, intuition, and a silver tongue to avoid getting blown up in that minefield. But I should still try. Losing weight at our age is no easy feat, and she deserves all the recognition.

Dub's not-so-little girl marched confidently in the middle of the adults, and those sparkling gray eyes demanded my attention. Maybe me and Dub should start working out together because I know our two daughters will surely be the it girls on campus. I'm not a parent who fights kids, but as long as I look the part, everything should be fine.

"Hello, Tami! Do you remember me, Luca? I swear, you have all the pretty dresses!"

"I know!"

I threw my head back and let out a hearty laugh.

"Oh, man! She still says that, huh?"

"She is very self-aware," Dub said before turning his attention to her. "What else do you say?"

"Thank you," she said sweetly.

"You're very welcome."

I felt Desiree hovering behind us, so I called her out.

"Des, do you remember Tami from when we stayed in the big house when you were little?"

"I think so?"

"I remember you," Tambara shouted. "We played pretty girls!"

"Oh, yeah," Desiree replied.

"Why don't you guys fix a plate and have a seat," I suggested.

"We have a tree just like that," Tambara said, pointing at the money tree.

"Yes, I know. I got mine from your dad."

We ate, talked, and enjoyed each other's company before the inevitable. Sophia took Maia to sit in the shade, and the girls went with them, leaving me and Dub alone to speak more freely. In the middle of him asking about my life as a landlord, Desi left the ladies' table with a stack of dishes.

"You must be so proud of her," he said.

"Bruh... You have no idea."

"I do, but I get what you mean."

We sipped our teas and reflected on our collective pride in our daughters—at least I assumed he went down that rabbit hole with me, heh. When Sophia and I started dating, I discovered how funny she was and thought the relationship was going to be the death of me because I'd surely die laughing. Then I told her I loved her, and we got engaged. The woohoo got exponentially more intense. I didn't think I'd survive the engagement. Now, everywhere I look, I find another reason to be proud of Desi, and I feel like one day my heart will explode from too much happiness. Being one laugh, one smile away from death is a sweet way to live, I think.

"Did you do well in school?" I asked.

"Yeah, I did okay. A's and a few B's."

"I didn't like school. Sophia too. We got by, but Desi is killing it! She went from a C to an A in just a week!"

"Wow! That's quite an accomplishment!"

"Right? I want her to go down whatever path she feels is right, but I kinda hope she goes to university. I'd love for her to be the first in our family."

"Oh, your parents didn't go?"

"Nope."

"Mine did. So did my grandparents. I enrolled but didn't finish."

"Everyone finds success in their own way. My family did well without formal education, so I know she doesn't need a degree, but... I just want so much for her, you know?"

"Oh, I know! Tami's birthday is in a few days, and I am DEEP in denial!"

"You and me both, brother. You and me both."

He took another sip of tea.

"By the way, what did you put in this tea?? This slaps!"

"Ha! You like that, huh? I just threw a little of this and that in there."

"I hope you remember what it is because you need to make this every time I come!"

He enjoys a few more sips and glances behind him at the ladies' table.

"Since we're talking about children... I know you guys had trouble and all, but did you and Sophia ever discuss having another child?"

"Yeah," I said in between a deep sigh. "Yeah, we did."

"Uh oh. I guess it didn't go well?"

"Nah, it wasn't like that. Sophia came to me and asked if I would be satisfied with just Desi because she didn't want more children."

"But?"

"Most of the time, I'm cool. When I hang with my niece and nephews, sometimes I go to bed so exhausted and wonder how my sister does it. But other times, it sneaks up on me. Sometimes, I'd really love to have a son."

He nods like he knows how that feels.

"Would you ever revisit that conversation with her?" he asked.

"No. The IVF process is very invasive, on top of adult pregnancies being harder. She told me as soon as she got home she wasn't interested in repeating it. It's too much to ask of her. And Desi is about to be a teenager. Even if we adopt, it's kinda late to be starting over. Can you imagine trying to intimidate some boy with spit up on your shoulder? I'm good. And even when I'm not, that's just something I have to deal with."

"Hmmm."

He sat there for a few moments, clearly mulling over something, so I let him. Nothing with Dub is random; he always has a reason behind every question. Whatever lightbulb just went off for him, I hope it helps whatever drama they left at home.

"I didn't think about it like that," he said, finally.

"Like what?"

"What you said about starting over and adult pregnancies. I brought it up with Maia. It didn't end well, but she definitely made sure I understood she wasn't interested. I was gonna bring it up again, but she was upset about something else and wanted me to listen, so I did."

"You should do that more often. Us men, we like to fix stuff. The problem is women aren't always looking for a fix. Sometimes, they just want to be heard, or hugged, or seen, or whatever. Listening is vital to learning what they really need."

The sky opened, and the rain I'd anticipated earlier poured on us without warning. Everyone jumped up, grabbed a dish, and ran inside.

[aptronyms]

happy pride month here's my fun little BFDI gender headcanon chart, some elaborations under the cut

gaty is CANON TRANSFEM YIPPEE YAY HOORAY !!!

transfems from saw to firey are all in one or more JNJ TDOV posts and I think they're transfem

remote specifically is a robot which are typically built without a gender YET she chooses to be a girl which I think is transgender as hell, this also goes for TV choosing to identify as male

one, six, and fifteen are transfem because they were born genderless but use she/her pronouns. I know pronouns don't equal gender, but I think it's fair to say that this is a pretty transgender thing for them to do. this explanation also goes for why zro, eight, ten, and fourteen are transmasc to me. I don’t think any of them identify solely as “woman” or “man” but that doesn’t stop them from being transfem or transmasc. also zro is a lesbian

transmascs from cake to stapy are all in one or more JNJ TDOV posts and I think they're transmasc

ice cube so pissed at freesmart that he becomes a boy out of spite and then realizes he genuinely likes it more than being a girl

taggy, winner, and profily are all CANON NONBINARY !! WHO CHEERED !!! I cheered.

pie, cloudy, and fries are all in one or more JNJ TDOV posts and I think pie is agender and cloudy collected every gender (and every pronoun!) and fries just does NOT give a fuck about gender

gender is just another experiment for pillow

ruby and puffball and naily for sure have some fun xenogenders... ruby's is definitely one she made up herself

woody is scared of gender and so woody doesn't have one (woody is also scared of pronouns)

8-ball's gender is probably something to do with the number 8, I don't even mean that as a joke like I know it sounds like a joke but I think connecting to a specific number or something like that can be your gender

I'm also a robot and I can just sense that roboty is nonbinary okay. with my robot senses

teardrop is bigender (my she/he pronoun warriorrr)

okay grassy being nonbinary is entirely because it's awesome. gender: grassyyy

I think robot flower would want to identify as something other than female because it would feel very freeing to separate themself from the real flower in that way. cuz as opposed to my HCs for remote and TV, robot flower is a robot who was assigned female when they were created in order to mirror the original flower. but maybe they'll decide to stay a girl except it'll be THEIR choice this time! who knows ! I don't think robot flower is even sure but they're figuring themself out ... some questioning representation

four's gender is probably math-related (once again: NOT A JOKE. my genuine belief)

X and nine are both genderfluid

two is absolutely 100% transfem but they're busy hosting so they don't care (they actually care a lot but they tell themself that they don't. what if numbers were called girls)

donut's job is being donut. he just gives employed energy. probably bigender

liy's job is finding her next adventure but one day she'll be adventuring into new pronouns

loser's job was being a celebrity. now it is being cancelled

okay rocky is another case where it's just funny. I truly think rocky is an adult who's just short and nonverbal and I'm expressing that in this tier list by calling them employed

black hole's job is preventing death and also keeping the rift in spacetime closed

if you disagree with any of my cis headcanons that's okay I just felt like there had to be SOME cis people. all of them are allies of course. though some of them? probably not very good allies if I'm honest, looking at you pencil (I love pencil but I know in my heart she is NOT a great ally in the slightest)

I think seven, five, and the other zeros all identify as genderless unlike the other algebraliens who chose to have some form of gender beyond that. that makes them kind of cis but like they're still genderless. it's confusing. whatever

what can I even say about evil leafy and the announcer. they've got something going on but like I said in the tier list? I can't even begin to explain it

taco from inanimate insanity is here because I love her and she's my friend ^_^

[cursedvida]

SAD EYES, BROKEN SMILE p.II (Buggy x f!Reader)

HERE PART 1 // HERE PART III

Warnings: violence, swearing a lot, reader being a little tsunedere. Little age gap between the reader and Buggy, she's like 25/26.

A/N: i didn't plane this for having more than one chapter but here we go... Again sorry for the typos, English isn't my first language. I hope you enjoy this :D

You don't know much about seduction. In fact, you don't know anything. Throughout your life you've had very little interest in love affairs. You had a pretty rough teenage years, so you were too busy surviving to think about boys. Therefore, the whole thing with Buggy is something totally new to you. Not being in control of the situation gets on your nerves. It's irritating, nauseating. To think that right now you could have collected a nice reward and you could be quietly enjoying your money, but instead you're in that crew thinking about a clown all day is something your pride can't take. You often wonder how you could have stooped so low, but as soon as that red-nosed idiot pops into your head there is only room for daydreaming. 

Now your goal is no longer to kidnap him and hand him over to people who will probably kill him, but to try to make him notice you. But really you, as a possible love interest, and that's much harder than your first mission. It's like ten billion times more complicated. Killing people is a lot easier than attracting them. 

You were trained to kill people, so you're not a person who knows very well how to relate to others. Social skills aren't your strong suit and being nice for more than fifteen minutes isn't either. You've at least tried to be friendly with the rest of the crew, but by continuing to pretend you're a wimp you haven't had much chance to blend in either. 

Today the whole crew went to the nearest tavern for a drink. Buggy claims to have landed a deal that will bring in a lot of money, so he's in a good mood. At first the tavern keeper didn't seem too happy to welcome a gang of pirates to his place, but Buggy can be quite persuasive when he wants to be. 

Now they're all drunk. Buggy is the center of attention, as usual. He boasts of his great wit and everyone around him cheers him on. The alcohol causes all emotions to intensify. You watch him from the bar, this time you're drinking because it's the only way you don't feel ridiculous about being hopelessly attracted to that idiot. 

You have conflicting feelings all the time. You like him, but you think he's a dumbass. You're attracted to him, but at the same time you think he does terribly ridiculous things. You have no idea how to handle all those emotions, but you're also unable to take your eyes off him or ask yourself absurd questions, like how experienced he should be, or how he should look without makeup. You also often think about whether he'll like younger girls, because he's got more than a decade on you and you might not be his type. In fact, what his type is also comes to your mind all too often. 

Fuck, you're a mess. 

You order another mug of beer, turning away from staring at Buggy with an intensity that could break solid concrete. You've always had a good tolerance for alcohol so you're not drunk, just dizzy enough to make it all the same to you. The perfect state. 

"What's a girl like you doing surrounded by this bunch of weirdos?"

Suddenly you see a guy next to you, he doesn't belong to the crew. He's a big man, looking menacing. He must be one of the few people who have decided to stay in the bar despite the pirates. You decide to deliberately ignore him. 

"Hey gorgeous, I'm talking to you.”

You take another swig of beer, completely evading. You decide to turn around again, now Buggy is doing some sort of demonstration. He has detached his hand from the rest of his arm and swings his clenched fist at full speed. You don't know what he's talking about, but he sure has exaggerated the whole thing. You smile to yourself. 

"Who the fuck is that fucking clown?" asks the heavy one, still standing next to you. 

You don't even deign to look at him. 

"Shut the fuck up" You tell him in the coldest voice you can. 

"Don't tell me you're going with him and his whole gang of freaks" The guy lets out a huge laugh "Honey, a beauty like you is wasted among all those creeps."

"And the oxygen you use is also a waste considering it could be useful to someone who isn't useless to society."

"But what the fuck is wrong with you, does it bother you that much that I pick on that loser?"

"I told you before to shut the fuck up" You repeat calmly and without raising your voice. 

"Uh, you scare me" he laughs "almost as much as your big nosed captain". 

"All right, you asked for it”

The guy can't even react, as soon as he wants to realize you've already stuck an ashtray in his mouth, wedging it in such a way that he can barely breathe. And, before the others can even realize what's happening, you grab one of the stools and hit him so hard in the stomach that the guy goes flying towards the other end of the bar, hitting the wall with such force that the ashtray comes out of his mouth. 

You calmly return to your seat, taking another sip of beer as if nothing had happened. But it's at that moment that you come back to reality to realize that Buggy is no longer the center of attention, but you, and that everyone is staring at you in disbelief, including your captain. 

Fucking shit, for fuck's sake. 

Now you've really fucked up. You're supposed to be a rookie with barely any physical skills, not a killing machine. Let's see how you get out of this now, though at least Buggy is paying attention to you. God, you have to be a moron to think something like that at a time like that, you're totally losing your mind. 

"What the hell was that?" Buggy ask to you.

You just answer simply, as if everything that just happened was not with you.

"He was bothering me"

Buggy approaches you, something that makes you nervous. Not because he might be angry, but to have him around. You almost killed a guy just two minutes ago but having the man you're obsessed with looking at you makes your legs tremble.

“You broke all his teeth, Y/N.”

You look at the man across the bar. It's true, you've left his mouth in a mess, all his clothes are stained by the blood that falls on him. But hey, he asked for it, you warned him.

"Why hadn't you said you knew how to fight like that?" He insists, and you don't know if right now he's thinking of killing you, kicking you out of the crew, or both. 

You can't tell him that you were hired to hunt him down and that you've abandoned that task because you have a huge crush on him. Especially the crush part, you would never admit that, so you must think of a good excuse as soon as possible. 

"My parents trained me" and that's not a lie "but they always said to only use my skills if necessary" that's a lie, and a big one at that. 

Buggy looks you up and down, which makes your stomach tingle. You are so close to him that you can almost feel his breath on your skin. So close that it would be very easy to get a couple of centimeters closer and see what red lips taste like. You wonder what his skin must feel like against yours, or how your hands must feel tangled in his hair. You look like the narrator of a romance novel, it's pitiful but you can't help it. 

"You've been swabbing the deck since you came in, how did it not occur to you to say you could be of more use to us?”

"I'm sorry, captain."

Buggy lets out a sigh, there is something paternalistic in his attitude, that condescension that is so typical of him. That makes you relax, he believed everything. Probably because he's drunk, but you don't care about that now.

Buggy puts his hands on your shoulders, making you jump. It's the most contact you've had since you've known him and it's not even real contact because he's wearing the fucking gloves.

"Y/N, look at me" And you obey, although the fact of having him so close to you, being able to smell his alcohol breath mixed with that smell of gunpowder that characterizes him makes you a little dazed. You feel more and more like kissing him. "You can't keep such important information to yourself. But don't worry, I'm going to look for a better position for you. With how good you are at fighting, we're going to do great things together, huh."

You nod without further ado. It's a shitty proposition, he's just telling you that he'll use you as a weapon, like he uses the strongest members of his crew. But you don't care, because Buggy is touching you and because from now on you will be able to talk to him a lot more.

Maybe you should go talk to that guy from earlier and thank him.

Oh, god. Yeah, you're definitely going from bad to worse.

[arcane-vagabond]

Get To Know Your Moots!!

thank you for the tag @bradleybeachbabe!

what’s the origin of your blog title?

Something I came up with years ago for a different blog of mine. I used it for years before I changed it, but I held onto it and decided to use it here when I shifted away from the one fandom.

OTP(s) + ship names

Scully/Mulder 5ever, Destiel 6ever, Sterek, IceMav, and several others I'm sure I'm forgetting lol

favorite color

Dandelion Yellow!

favorite game

Animal Crossing New Horizons and anything Pokemon related tbh

song stuck in your head

Labour - Paris Paloma

weirdest habit/trait

Uuuuuuuuuh I press on the pads of my fingers a lot

hobbies

Writing, drawing, painting, cross-stitch, embroidery, gaming, watching movies/tv

if you work, what’s your profession?

I work as an admissions advisor for higher education

if you could have ANY job, what would it be?

I'd love to be a museum curator or be a full time author. Maybe one day I'll even get my masters or PHD in Linguistics and do that full time.

something you’re good at

I'm pretty well spoken, in my opinion. I'm pretty good at giving presentations and making connections with people.

something you’re bad at

Small talk and fluffing up how I speak. I'm a very direct kind of person, and I'll tell you what I'm thinking without beating around the bush. I don't think I'm necessarily mean about it, I just don't see the point in not saying exactly what I mean about things. I'm a clear and concise communicator and that's offputting to some people.

something you love

Fierce winds, zoos, aquariums, traveling, language, books, animals, mythology, history, folklore, learning, and then the staples (friends/family)

something you could talk about for hours off the cuff

Linguistics, history, philosophy, animals, my stories (both fanfiction and og fiction)

something you hate

people who consider themselves experts on things they have no idea about, hypocrites, people who play the victim (especially when they perpetuate things themselves), people who take everything personally, people who avoid responsibility for their actions. I also hate pity or when people say "I'm sorry" to me when something bad happens that's not even their fault.

something you collect

I've collected animal figurines since I was really small. I would get them every time I went to the zoo. I also collect stuffies, pens, books, and rocks.

something you forgot

Answers to questions like this lol

love language?

A little bit of everything, but mainly words of affirmation, quality time, and physical touch

favorite movie/show

tv show(s): The X-Files, Derry Girls, Anne with an E, Outlander, Futurama, Fruits Basket, House, the West Wing

movie(s): Detective Pikachu, Your Name., Raiders of the Lost Ark, Where the Crawdads Sing, The Labyrinth, Pride and Prejudice, Finky, Howl's Moving Castle, Spirited Away, Coraline

favorite food

Seafood (any kind, but especially Scallops and Salmon), lamb tikka masala with garlic cheese naan, french fries, döner, haggis, tamales, couscous, takoyaki, and more that I can't think of probably

favorite animal

Stingrays, gorillas, foxes

what were you like as a child?

I was definitely wise beyond my years lol I freaked a lot of adults out because I knew things most kids my age didn't. It was hard for me to keep friends because my interests were so different from my peers', but I managed to make a handful that I'm still very close with today. I had a hard time connecting with people. I preferred books and animals to people to be sure. I was a weird kid.

favorite school subject

English and history. I enjoyed certain sciences as well.

least favorite subject

I've always struggled with math. The number jump around and I have spacial awareness problems that gave me an even harder time in certain math subjects.

what’s your best character trait?

I would say loyalty. I'm loyal to a fault, whether it's people I care about or a cause I'm passionate about.

what’s your worst character trait?

I tend to be very blunt about things. I also tend to keep my feelings bottled up until I explode.

if you could change any detail of your job right now, what would it be?

Less traveling would be nice. More pay at least.

if you could travel through time, who would you most like to meet?

Maybe Joan of Arc or Elizabeth I?

recommend one of your favorite fanfics!

Marvel:

Devour by @buckets-and-trees (Honestly? Anything Aspen writes is amazing)

Hold You Tight by @navybrat817 (Again, anything Navy writes is amazing)

Dirty Work by @darkficsyouneveraskedfor (For the third time, anything Roo writes is amazing)

TGM:

I think back on JupiterComet's Firefighter!Bradley fic fondly and often.

Fuck You, Hangman by @mothdruid has always been a fave of mine.

Good in Bed by @honkytonk-hangman is another fave of mine!

Tagging: @sorchathered @attapullman @baezen @goldenseresinretriever @fanficfandomlove @heavenssins @starsrfun @roosterforme

[eccentricgrace]

Considerations of an Iron-Spider || IronDad

summary: okay, so maybe peter lost a little too much blood. that's fine! that's what they have med bays for!

tags: iron infusions (needles, hospital, iv), banter, good mentor tony stark, the may-tony coparenting agenda, peter parker cannot sit still, star wars trivia, these fckin nerds

wc: 2,744

cross-posted on wattpad under the same name!

It started, technically, a two weeks ago. He'd gotten injured. Like, more so than usual.

Peter's pretty good at skimming past knives and bullets and all kinds of projectiles, all things considered. Compared to Thee Average Joe, he's basically got a 99% better chance at survival, and it showed, because at the end of the night he still managed to crawl out of whatever dumpster he landed in.

There was, though, the remaining 1%. Which was less fun. Times where for whatever reason he wasn't able to dodge in time, just barely missed the window, and— well. Well.

Those ended with a frankly traumatic phonecall to Tony, bleary memories of blue fingertips, and being bodily hauled across the floor.

But that was two weeks ago. So long it was practically forever— he's still bruised, but there's no gaping wounds, no need for any bandages anymore, nothing serious. Which is why it was alarming that, for whatever reason, he still felt waves of dizziness every time he stood up. He still felt weak, and he still felt like he couldn't get that last breath in his lungs.

He called Tony.

"You answered fast," Peter said, blinking widely at his homework in front of him. His phone crushed between his ear and his shoulder while he tapped away on his laptop.

"Wanted to make sure you weren't in another abandoned building," Tony said shortly, his tone clipped. "You just seem to like them so much."

Peter winced. So clearly Tony was still on edge about it all...

It's not like he didn't care that he almost died two weeks ago. He actually cared quite a bit. It wasn't fun. It hurt really bad, added a new pink scar to the collection of other near-death experiences on his body, and he wasn't keen on doing anything like it again soon. He had a strict "one near-death experience per month" limit.

But he also prided himself on his ability to bounce back from anything. If nothing else, he was always good at getting back up.

Peter cleared his throat. "About that. I don't want to stress you out or anything but—"

"Peter," Tony warned.

"I'm fine," Peter prefaced quickly. "I mean— I'm not fine, butlike, I'm not on death's door. Relax."

"Why, pray tell, are you not fine?" Tony asked, and Peter could hear the smile in his voice, tense and fake with the threat of an eye twitch. "You aren't in your suit."

It wasn't a question.

"No," Peter said, and took the phone in his hand. "I'm just doing homework, but I—"

He trailed off awkwardly, trying to find a way to phrase what he needed to say that wouldn't immediately cause alarm bells.

"You...?" Tony pressured.

"I feel like I need my inhaler," Peter said, scratching at the back of his neck.

A long silence commenced, before Tony's baffled response cackled through the receiver. "Then use it?"

"I haven't needed my inhaler since I got bit," Peter continued, speeding through his explanation. "And like, also, I'm super cold, and everytime I stand up the room starts spinning."

Another beat of silence. Then a swear.

"So," Peter blew out the breath from his cheeks and looked around aimlessly at his room. "I dunno, I think I'm like, low on—"

"—blood," Tony finished. "Yeah. Alright. The nurses warned me about that, they told me to keep an ear out if you complained about anything. Alright. I'm sending Happy to come get you."

Peter shot up in his chair. "What? But I've got—"

His face went numb and his knees buckled, and he fell back into his chair, going silent while the dizziness swam through him.

"Kid?" Tony said rapidly in his ear. "Peter? You okay?"

"Mgh." Peter covered his eyes with his hand, trying to will the vertigo away. "I meant, pick me up tomorrow morning instead. I'll be okay until then."

"I don't like that," Tony said finally.

"Please?" Peter tried. "It's late, I'm really tired. It'll give me a second to talk to May, too. You know. My legal guardian."

Tony sighed. "There you go again, being reasonable. Swore I taught you better than that. Alright, I'll pick you up tomorrow. Get some sleep, kid."

So, he talked to May. Sat her down when she got home from work, explained to her as casually as he could that he's a little low on that good ol' hemoglobin— but that it's cool, because Tony already told him to come in the next morning for an infusion.

"Why not tonight?" May frowned, her eyebrows furrowed as she sipped at her tea. Green, with half a spoon of honey, sweet but still a little bitter how she liked it. Peter set it out the second she got home to soften the blow.

Peter bit back a tired laugh. "Because I thought you'd want to do it tomorrow. Less last minute."

"Well, it's your health, baby," May said immediately. She shrugged, setting the mug down. "You could have called me on the way there, I would have understood. I mean, blood is pretty darn important."

"I can call Tony tonight, tell him I changed my mind," Peter suggested with a half-hearted shrug. "I mean, he'll probably think I'm at death's door, but I'll do it."

"Sooner the better," May folded her hands together, leaning forward with a serious expression. "Do you need me to go with you? I can shower really quick, I'll grab a granola bar—"

"No, no, no—" Peter took her hands. He gave a reassuring grin. "You just got home from work, and it's not that big of a deal. I'm not in like, critical condition—"

(May's frown deepened.)

"—and Tony will be with me the whole time, you know that," Peter promised.

"He does get clingy when you're not feeling well," May acknowledged, and pushed her glasses back up on her face. She studied her tea for a moment longer and quirked her lip unsurely. "You sure you don't need me there? Say the word, and I'll—"

"I know you will. I'll be okay, I swear it," Peter promised. "I'll text you updates if anything happens, but— come on, it's not the first time I've needed an IV. That kinda stuff just comes with the territory, you know?"

May pulled a hand away and scrubbed at her eyes, dry mascara blearing across her eyelids. She seemed so, so tired, exhausted to the bone— but amused. "If you'd have told me years ago that I was raising an Avenger, I genuinely wouldn't know what to say."

"Sorry," Peter said faintly, smiling nonetheless. "If anyone could do it, it'd be you."

May grinned into her tea. "Damn straight."

Peter stood up from the table, he's dizzy again, because of course. He stilled for a moment until his head felt steady, and then went to his room. He rummaged around for some essentials while he dialed Tony one-handed.

He'll probably be sitting for a while, much to his chagrin, so he pulled out some comfortable clothes. Baggy sweatshirt with a faded Japanese Empire Strikes Back print on the front, sweatpants that he's 80% sure he stole from MJ last time he was over. Vines are messily embroidered at the loose seams. He's admiring Em's handiwork when the phone immediately picks up, again.

"Mr. Parker," Tony answered stiffly.

"Mr. Stark," Peter mocked back. "I'm not passed out on the floor, I swear. I just talked to May."

"And?"

"She wants me to go in tonight, if it's still an option. Something about blood being important," Peter trailed off, tugging his D.S. from the charger and tossing that on the bed to bring, too.

"Such an intelligent lady, your aunt. I'm gonna buy her a very expensive bottle of wine."

"I mean, I won't say no to you giving my aunt nice things," Peter quirked his eyebrow. "But I can't help but feel like this is at my expense. Like you're making fun of me or something. I don't know."

"Don't know where you're getting that vibe, bugbite. Happy'll pick you up in ten minutes. I don't know how long it'll take, so expect to spend the night."

"I know," Peter huffed. "See you soon."

"Bye, kid."

The line clicked off, and Peter spent the next ten minutes sitting down and feeling generally unwell. He changed his clothes, wrangled his taped-up USB-C, and begrudgingly his USG-002 because he knew Tony would give him flack for using something so outdated. 

When May called out that the door buzzed, Peter pushed himself off the bed and said his goodnights and goodbyes. He's out of the apartment before he could catch Happy flirting with his aunt again.

Peter drifted through most of the car ride, caught between being half-asleep and scrolling thoughtlessly through his phone. Ned was sending him a dozen videos a minute and talking back and forth with MJ in their groupchat.

A knock on the window startled him, and he jerked his head up to catch Tony's eyes through the dim glass. Peter opened the door up, unclicking his seatbelt.

"Hey, Mr. Stark. Feels like it's been forever since we've talked, amirite?" Peter smiled pleasantly, climbing out of the car.

Tony's answering stare was resolutely unimpressed.

Peter's puffed out his cheeks awkwardly and leaned back and forth on his feet. After a second, he raised his hands to his mouth and made fangs with his index fingers. "I've come for blood? Bleh bleh bleh?"

"I think you age me at least a century everytime I see you," Tony said blankly. Peter's smile grew.

He sighed and started towards the medbay, waving for Peter to follow him.

"They're gonna take a blood sample first," Tony said shortly. "Just to see how low it is. You're gonna be on saline and fluids while they're running the tests."

"So, same as usual?"

"Yep." Tony held the door open for him.

The medbay was quiet, only a small team of late night nurses were working, and Peter had a sudden sinking feeling that they were called in specifically because of him.

He furrowed his eyebrows, turning to Tony. "Did—"

"No. We've got some people out on a mission. This is procedure, and a happy accident. Aren't you lucky?" Tony cocked his head to the side, his eyes glinting with sarcasm.

Peter rolled his eyes, but let his shoulders relax. He liked the medbay nurses. It would really suck to inconvenience them when he seriously could have waited until morning.

They set up the IV, they take his blood— when they walk away with the vial, Peter turned to Tony and gave him an amused look. "It's kinda weird, isn't it? You'd think they'd wanna do the opposite of blood-theft. Considering."

"You know, I've told them that before," Tony leaned back in his chair, crossing his arms. "They did not seem to enjoy it. Gave me a real big customer service laugh."

"They probably hear it a lot."

"Yeah. But I said it. Which makes it funnier."

"Oh, right," Peter facepalmed. "Duh."

"Duh," Tony agreed with a sage nod.

They wait for the labs to come back, Peter keeping himself entertained by watching the IV's steady drip.

"I can already taste the saline," Peter noted, the familiar cold-copper-salt sitting at the back of his throat.

Tony made a face, looking up from his phone. "You can taste that?"

"You can't?"

"No, and the needle goes in your arm. Why would anyone be able to taste it?"

"I don't know," Peter shrugged. "I always do though. It's weird. Tastes like metal."

Tony gave him a look of mild disgust, his lip curled in displeasure, his nose pulled up.

"Like brushing your teeth with penny water," Peter continued.

Tony's disgusted expression grew more severe, and then he flashed his teeth in a grimacing smile. "Delightful."

Peter hummed in agreement, and then shivered. The saline was really coursing through him now, successfully chilling his veins.

A nurse came back in, gave a bright smile, her eyes sympathetic. "Alright, Peter. We've got your results back—"

"That's where they get you," Peter remarked solemnly.

"—your ferritin levels are at an eight."

Peter and Tony both wince.

"So, we're going to start you on an iron drip right away," the nurse said, her voice light and calm. "And have you come back in two weeks for a retest of your blood."

"Aye-aye," Peter said, still grimacing. "Hey, what happens when your ferritin gets to zero?"

"Let's not find out," Tony cut in, shifting in his chair with his arms crossed. He gave another tight smile, all lip and no teeth.

So they hook up the iron bag, which is dark red— almost orangey, and Peter narrowed his eyes as the stuff sank down the tube and into his arm. It looked like blood, but he's like, eighty-eight percent sure it isn't. Either way, it didn't matter. He kinda needed the stuff.

"I'm bored."

"It's not even been ten minutes," Tony said, with all the exhaustion of a single mother of five hyperactive children.

Peter tilted his head back on the clinic seat. "Yeah. It's been a very long not-even-ten-minutes."

"You brought a whole bag of goodies," Tony reminded him, gesturing lamely. "I'm sure you've got something in there."

Peter gave a long put-on sigh and wrestled his phone out of his pocket. It was nearing one in the morning, miserably, and the IV wouldn't finish until probably three if he's lucky.

"I'm tired," he complained, just because he can.

"Then sleep."

"Do you just have a solution for everything?"

"Sure do."

Peter sighed again. Turned his phone off, stared at the wall for a few moments. Turned his phone back on. He played a few rounds of Sudoku, expert level. Turned his phone off, stared at the—

"How many parsecs did Han Solo make the Kessel Run in?" Tony asked, not looking up from his phone.

"Less than twelve," Peter answered. "Why—"

"First character to speak in A New Hope?"

Peter blinked, once, twice. "Uh. Threepio."

"Who was Luke Skywalker's gunner in the Battle of Hoth?"

"Dak," Peter furrowed his eyebrows. "Are you quizzing me on Star Wars to keep me busy? Is that what this is?"

"Something's gotta keep your brain occupied, and clearly your Sudoku games aren't cutting it," Tony said flatly. "So, yeah. Buzzfeed article— 170 Star Wars Trivia Questions That Are Seriously Tricky. What's the main stormtrooper's designation in The Force Awakens?"

"Finn? FN-2187."

"What's Jabba's full name?"

"... the Hutt?" Peter guessed.

Tony made a loud buzzer sound, waving his phone. "Jabba Desilijic Tiure. So close, though."

"This game sucks."

"You're just saying that because you don't know Jabba the Hutt's full name. Fake fan," Tony clicked his tongue, putting his phone back into his pocket.

Peter rolled his eyes.

Another long stretch of quiet. The nurses talk quietly amongst themselves, gossip about their personal lives that didn't interest him enough to eavesdrop. He's tired, and bored— and he's comfortable.

He's thinking about how he's lucky they didn't pinch his vein this time, and how he's lucky Tony was able to sit with him so he wasn't alone, how nice it was to be certain that he had people looking out for him.

"I think I'm going to take a nap," Peter said finally.

"Good idea." Tony scratched idly at his cheek. "You want anything? Blanket? Extra pillow?"

Peter shook his head, curling carefully on his side so as to not disturb the IV. "Nah," he mumbled. Then, "can you keep talkin', though?"

"Why, my voice make you snooze?"

The corner of Peter's mouth curled up. "Maybe."

Not really. He just liked listening to Tony talk. He was interesting, always. Peter's been hanging off every last word since he was a kid watching him on television. It made him sleep the same way a mom singing lullabies would make a baby sleep. Or something. Whatever. Don't look too much into it.

What they had worked for them, was what he meant. Tony wasn't his dad. May wasn't his mom, either, technically— but she was the closest damned thing he had, and he loved her down to blood. May wasn't his mom, but she was there. Tony wasn't his dad, but he was there, too.

It was kind of funny, how well they operated in the grey areas.

"Yeah, kid," Tony said, lowering his voice to a rumble. An old engine humming. A lullaby. "I'll keep talking."

[kenobifitz]

GET TO KNOW YOUR MUTUALS

thank you for the tag :) @ccarisi

What's the origin of your username?: i love obi-wan kenobi from star wars and leopold fitz from agents of shield that's it

OTP(s) + ship name: oh i ship A LOT of things but i guess tiva from ncis and fitzsimmons from agents of shield are like my top real og ships?

Favorite color: blue!! BLUE!!! and also purple

Song stuck in your head: casual by chappell roan and DtMF by bad bunny

Weirdest habit/trait: see i'm weird af in general so i can't pick one thing?? i used to memorize the dialogue and songs for ships edits to the point i'd recite it in my sleep

Hobbies: crochet, gaming, bullet journaling, writing, rollerskating, watching tv shows basically, reading

If you work, what's your profession?: i have two jobs: one in logistics & one in like work from home admin stuff lol

If you could have any job you wish, what would it be?: man idk, probably tv writer

Something you're good at: yapping

Something you hate: ooof, stupid questions, self-centered ppl, ppl who think they're better than others, squishy textures, too many sauces in one thing, very specific fruits...i could go on

Something you collect: books and yarns

Something you forget: i probably have undiagnosed adhd the other day i bought two books and i had nowhere to put them and i left them in a hardware store because i got distracted by pretty china so idk what to tell u

What's your love language?: receiving gifts and words of affirmation

Favorite movie/show: i can't choose because i like too many things i'm sorry. so i'll say: star wars, pride and prejudice, the incredibles, mamma mia

and shows agents of shield, daredevil, ncis, criminal minds and a hundred more

Favorite food: carbonara my beloved or lasagna

Favorite animal: dogs

What were you like as a child?: annoying as hell i think? but i pretty much blocked my childhood so im not sure yknow, trauma things

Favorite subject at school: english and social studies

Least favorite subject: FUCK MATH FUCK PHYSICS FUCK CHEMISTRY

What's your best character trait?: uhhhhhhhhhhhhh i think i'm supportive? like i will back tf out of my friends and fight a bitch if necesssary and also i get shit done, i like to solve stuff as efficiently as possible even under preassure

What's your worst character trait?: i crave validation to an embarassing degree and sometimes i overshare then feel bad about it lol

If you could travel in time, who would you like to meet?: myself at 7 years old

no pressure tags @request-remand @ae-nar @thisisonlychemistry

[illegalpaladin]

20 Questions for (Fanfiction) Writers

Thanks @twinkboimler and @ncc1701ohno for the tags <3

1. How many works do you have on Ao3? 29, plus my Spring Fever stuff ;)

2. What’s your total Ao3 word count? 224,097 but about 125,000 of that is from September 2024 and after

3. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

-A Lesson in Patience (The Adventure Zone, Explicit) 341 kudos

-Late Spring (Star Trek TOS, Mature) 296 kudos

-Praise (The Adventure Zone, Explicit) 270 kudos

-How Wisdom Might Be Loved (Star Trek TOS, Explicit) 263 kudos

-Just a Pretty Thing (Star Trek TOS, Explicit) 236 kudos

4. What fandoms do you write for? Right now, just Star Trek! I see myself writing Star Trek fanfic for a long, long time.

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I do!! Comments are very exciting to me--it tells me that someone likes my work enough to go the extra step of saying something. Sometimes I just respond with a "thank you," but I mean it!!!

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I don't do angsty endings very often... Maybe The HIghwayman??? (The Adventure Zone, Explicit)

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? For as angsty as the fic is, I think Late Spring had a really satisfying and happy ending

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not hate. Occasionally I get a comment telling me I used a word wrong or something.

9. Do you write smut? I... write a lot of smut.

10. Do you write crossovers? I love to take my favorite characters and put them in a different media's setting! I haven't done any for Star Trek, but for TAZ I wrote:

-Blupjeans Unsolved Supernatural (A collection of two works, both Teen and up)

-Fantasy Mortgage or Marriage (Teen and up)

-Relic! The Balance Opera (Teen and up, unfinished)

I guess technically these are more AUs than crossovers, but it's the closest I get lol

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? I sure hope not

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Relic! was co-written. I also occasionally take ideas from RPs with my wife and turn them into fics

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? My OG favorite ship is Taakitz from The Adventure Zone--it's what got me into shipping in the first place. Nowadays, I'd say my favorite is any iteration of McSpirk.

15. What’s the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I was writing a Bread and Circuses jail cell smut fic, but I got a little lost in what my plan was. It wouldn't take long to finish, but I keep pushing it aside for other stuff.

16. What are your writing strengths? I really take a lot of pride in making sure my characterization is accurate. I'll study specific episodes and scenes to make sure I'm getting their mannerisms, emotions, and dialogue correct.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Editing!!! I think I'd be a much stronger writer if I could figure out how to edit on my own. I rely a lot on my wonderful beta readers because I get kind of blinded to my own work. I also randomly mix up words sometimes, even though I know the correct one. If they sound similar, my brain will scramble them.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic? I used to be fluent in Spanish. I wish I was still fluent in Spanish. I've considered trying to write in Spanish to get back into it. But I think it's hard to make things sound natural and native.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I only got into fandom 6 years ago. My first fandom was The Adventure Zone.

20. Favorite fic you’ve ever written? I think it's gotta be Late Spring! I had sooo much fun writing it, to the point where it was hard to finish it and move onto something else. It's the longest fic I've ever written, too, so it feels like a huge accomplishment.

I'm gonna tag @tigereyes45 @fruitsboots @optimumonprime

[thedemoninmywalls]

🩸👻💣🔗👑 for the dark ask game 👀

thank you thank you!! i'm obsessed with these asks 🩸 - Has your F/O ever marked you in a way that felt like a bond, even if others might see it as dangerous or unhinged? Probably the most important mark is the one Rire branded onto Aro's breast. It's magic, functions like a tracker, and lets Rire know where Aro is at all times. It quite literally bonds them together. Though it's not nearly the most dangerous or unhinged thing Rire has done to Aro...

👻 - Does your F/O enjoy toying with your fear, knowing it brings you closer to them? Oh absolutely; fearplay is one of Rire's biggest kinks, after all. He loves Aro's stubbornness but he loves her fear even more. It's especially entertaining to create a nightmare world around her, watching her stumble around in blind terror before finally swooping in to "save the day".

💣 - Would your F/O ever involve you in their criminal or villainous schemes, willingly or not? How would it bond you? Would it be fun or sickening? Other?

Rire typically doesn't like to involve Aro in his work. Humans have no business in demon affairs, and anyway he thinks Aro is just a toy to play with, not a competent person with anything meaningful to contribute. One time he made her polish his soul collection and she wasted an hour just sitting and watching the pretty souls swirl in their jars. 🔗 - Does your F/O see you as their weakness, their strength, or both? How does that shape your connection?

Rire sees Aro as a trophy or prize. After a long and boring day at work, he rewards himself by forcing his pet to fulfil his needs. Occasionally he will parade her around among his subjects like a captured prisoner, to show that he can dominate humans as easily as he dominates demons. 👑 - How does your F/O treat you differently from everyone else, even when they’re at their cruelest? To his credit, Rire is very careful with Aro's boundaries. He knows exactly how much abuse she can take, physically and mentally. He knows there are certain lines she will absolutely not cross, and he takes care to avoid them. Rire is very fond of Aro and wants to keep her around for as long as he can, unlike other human victims who generally die pretty quick. Some bonus answers because I wanted to yap about arorire <3 🕷️ - Does your F/O bug your clothing, house or vehicle? Would they ensure you’re well monitored? Do they do it out of protection or obsession? As mentioned before, Rire tracks Aro through the mark on her breast. He does this primarily because he's a control freak and needs to know where she is at all times, but he's also a demon prince and needs to make sure she is not attacked by his enemies (*cough* Cain *cough*) 🎭 - Does your F/O hide their true self from others? How does it feel knowing the side of them no one else does? Rire doesn't have much to hide - he is unapologetically evil and depraved. Still, he does often show a gentler side to Aro that other people rarely see. She is his favorite toy after all, and he takes good care of his property. Aro feels conflicted about it - she craves his affection and love, but struggles to reconcile it with his abuse. 🪓 - Does your F/O ever fear losing control around you? How do you reassure them? Or do you like the chaos?

Rire prides himself on his self-control. He wants to be elegant and dignified at all times. The only time he ever lets down this facade is during sex with Aro, when he acts a little more feral and animalistic. Even then, he's careful not to rough her up too much. ⛓️ - If your F/O could keep you by their side forever through unconventional means, (being immortal via soul pact, vampirism, science) would you let them?

Well, since Cain can bring people back from the dead Aro is already functionally immortal lol...and definitely not by choice 🪦 - Would you help your F/O cover up a crime, no questions asked? How far would you go to protect them?

Most of the time, Rire can take care of himself. But if he showed up on Aro's doorstep weakened and wounded from some sort of battle, she wouldn't take advantage of it to escape his grasp. She's not a vengeful person. She does have genuine affection for Rire, so she would take him in and patch him up as best as she can, no questions asked. 🔮 - Does your F/O believe you’re destined to be together? What lengths would they go to if fate didn’t agree?

Rire manipulates Aro by telling her that they were destined to be together, that she was always fated to fall into his cruel hands. How could she deny fight by resisting him? She was always meant to be his toy, his pet, so she should just accept her fate and stop fighting it. 🕳️ - If your F/O lost their current life or position (taken in by authorities, empire crumbled, demoted by higher ups) how would your dynamic change?

That would be pretty bad because Rire's entire lifestyle is based off his current position in power. At that point he probably wouldn't have the power needed to keep Aro in line, so he would have to kill her and keep her soul instead.

[popculturebuffet]

School House Rock: America Rock 4th of July Special! (Comission for WeirdKev27)

Happy LOUD EXPLOSIONS OUTSIDE MY GODDAMN WINDOW WHILE I'M TRYING TO WRITE THIS day everyone. I almost missed doing an indepdence day specail as in the chaos of my move, reorganizing the schedule, having to play catchup, I plum forgot. Thankfully Kev came in the clutch with something easy I could do and thus this special. Schoolhouse Rock is something I saw once or twice as a kid but was a few generations before mine. It came out of a very wholesome source: add exec David McCall noticed his son, while able to learn song lyrics easy, wasn't great with remembering his multiplication tables. So he awesomely wrote a song, hired a musicain to perform it and if he wasn't already father of the year had someone animated. This caught the attention of Radford Stone, a real person I assure you and an exec at ABC who urged him to pitch it and since micheal eisner liked it enough not to kali ma his heart out, the series got greelit as some educational shorts between programs, a way to edcuate kids in a fun way and one of the earliest edutainment breakthroughs i'm aware of. And that's.. really what these are. Simple little animated shorts with awesome music to edcuate you, with this batch having been on vhs and dvd as a collection. Simple premise, great execution, so let's rock under the cut shall we?

No More Kings: This one is about the colonization of america. Which naturally glosses HEAVILY over the meeting with and eventual subjication of the indigenous persons of this country . So here's wendsday adams to give us the real scoop

Otherwise it's a well done short and I just love their pissy little king george who uses a telescope to spy on america and shake his fist. He's the second greatest king george in history. You likely know the first...

The real question is why HAVEN'T I covered hamilton?

Fireworks Do you ever feel like a plastic bag? because I do. All day every day. Anyways, obvious jokes inside this one is also fire, not only for the stunning visuals of the fireworks, especially ont he budget of a paper clip and a piece of string, but just for the groovy beat for this one. It might be my faviorite of this batch. Aside from the creepy guy chasing a woman around.

The Shot Heard Round the World: .. after I typed that header ANOTHER firework went off in my neighborhood. and then about 4 or 5 as I typed this.. and another.. and another... okay it stopped ... wait no.. okay NOW it stopped. What was I on about? Oh yeah.. this one. It's not bad, but it's not really anything specail. I do however like the house art style for the characters, having most characters in black and white unless they needed to portray another race. THe only thing of not eit really does is feature THE PRIDE OF MOUNT VERNON, GEORGGGEEE WASHINNGTOONNNN!

Preamble It sounds pretty and features John Adams, who sat this one out that FAT MOTHER FU

Elbow Room This is a fun one about the lousiana purchase. Again this being america i'm PRETTY sure there was likely just a touch of genocide underneath this expansion, but it's still a jaunty enough toon.

The Great American Melting Pot Now this one is well meaning, being about how immigration is a good thing , using the old melting pot metaphor. Given how horrendous things have gotten with immigration lately, it's a message that needs to be heard. That said they PROBABLY could've picked a better metaphor than "putting a ton of children inside a giant literal soup pot for a giant lady liberty"

I mean like I said it MEANS well, I just didn't know the statue of liberty fed on the blood of children. My theory was: the statue of liberty likes dog food.

Mother Neciscity

Sufferin Till Suffrage After the nice nap given to me by that last one, we can get into a REALLY FUN one following the embodiment of suffrage as she celebrates how women have the right to vote.. and points out how horribly recent it was gained. It was only 55 years ago when this short aired and it 'll be 103 in august. It's a groovy bit of music about how old assholish men opressed women and how it took decades and decades of struggle for women to get the right to vote. I also like it a lot because unlike a LOT of these , it dosen't sugarcoat things: men opressed women and this was them fighting back for what they always shoudl've had. Simple and awesome, like the best of these.

I'm Just a Bill

Here we are, the GOAT of Schoolhouse Rock, the most iconic one of them. And naturally the one that's been the most parodied with both simpsons

Which, fun fact, I saw way more as a kid than the original. It also makes me laugh way more as an adult because I get it fully. Family guy also took a nice stab at it though instead of doing a full parody they just made a really hilarious joke

It also looks like they got the actual voice of bill to do both of these. What a champ.

I also had the rude awakening right wing doucher Steven Crowder thought doing a parody of it against trans rights was a good idea.

The original though his solid and still works. It's stuck, with me knowing how bills work primarily BECAUSE of this song, and the vocal performance is fucking dynamite. It's a work that really stands the test of time , from the image of bill sadly sittnig onc aptial hill to the jubilant ending of him becoming a law. It's really great stuff and easy to see why it endured enough to get tons of parodies and is clearly still shown in school enough for people to STILL recognize it decades later.

Three Ring Government: This one is about how a goverment is like a circus. Granted I would've had congress and the house both as clown cars full of people who either put party bias over personal intrests or are a giant pack of ghouls who care nothing but for their own power. What i'm saying is while this works perfectly for the intended demo for a jaded old man like me it's pretty fucking depressing, especially since 2/3 of these branches aren't in the best shape right now. It''s not bad on it's own merits, it's just hard to watch and not wince wat what the right is doing to it right now or have done to women, people of color and the country in general.

These are a great batch of shorts though. Maybe one day we'll return to school but for now we say good bye to this and hello to MORE EXPOSIONS. THE EXPLOSIONS NEVER END THE EXPLOSIONS NEVER

And thanks for reading

[writernopal]

If you and your best friend had an argument, would your block them forever?

Hmmm this is a difficult question. Blocking someone forever is a pretty severe thing to do but not unwarranted in certain situations. The main thing I'd consider is whether or not the argument reveals something that can be overcome or if the situation is 'beyond repair'.

I've certainly had big arguments with my best friend that had the potential to be friendship ruining, like full on yelling, but we overcame it because we realized that we were being bullheaded about something or our anger/frustration was misdirected. Sometimes we actually had disagreements with each other that escalated to an argument because neither of us came ready to listen, so both of us felt unheard, and we got upset. In those cases, taking time away from that person to collect your thoughts (and maybe swallow your own pride/ego) is helpful before the two of you can reconcile or try to. A soft block, as it were.

However, there have been other times when an argument will reveal a systemic issue in our friendship, like one person consistently taking more than they're giving or having unfair expectations of the other person. In those situations, blocking or cutting off contact makes sense and I would argue is the best option because you're protecting yourself. A true best friend, in my experience, is someone who won't compromise you and has your best interests at heart. That's why they're so hard to come by and also why it's so painful to lose them. But if they don't do those things, then keeping them close does more harm than good.

Anyway, I'm not sure if that was the sort of answer you were hoping for Anon, but I hope it helped in some way if this is something you're currently struggling with. Good luck 💙

[mwolf0epsilon]

20 questions!

Tagged by @corvod , this should be fun!

How many works do you have on AO3?

35 written works.

What’s your total AO3 word count?

589,410 exactly.

What fandoms do you write for?

Currently it's just Star Wars stuff.

What are your top five fics by kudos?

-The Joey Drew Studios Unused Reel Collection (BATIM drabbles) -Of Clones and Collateral Damage (TCW Whumptober drabbles) -There's a War Out There (TCW Whumptober drabbles) -The Frog Trooper (TCW fic where Dogma is turned into a frog) -In Which Fives's Coping Mechanism Accidentally Saves a Galaxy Far Far Away (TCW fix-It fic where Fives gets into a ridiculously situation)

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I try to respond to comments but sometimes when I'm in a bad funk I end up forgetting for a while. I just think it's nice to respond to anyone who was nice enough to leave their thoughts.

What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I am currently working on it :)

What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Definitely The Frog Trooper!

Do you get hate on fics?

Hmm, I haven't seen anything super negative yet and hope I don't in the near future...

Do you write smut? If so what kind?

Very rarely and I don't usually share because it's a little embarrassing...

Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

When I was younger I would daydream about crossovers constantly, but putting it into an actual fic would be a little hard to keep up with.

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not yet I haven't, and hope it never happens.

Have you ever had a fic translated?

Nope.

Have you ever cowritten a fic before?

In my DA days I did. But due to changing accounts I lost my parts of that fic, which I think my co-writer is still angry about to this day despite the situation that lead me to changing accounts being pretty difficult...

What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Depends on what I'm feeling, but right now I'm quite partial to Hogma (Hondo Ohnaka x Dogma) and Alphobi (Alpha-17 and Obi-wan Kenobi)

What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

All of my WIPS go through that process so I can't really name any for sure, because you never know...

What are your writing strengths?

Probably dialogue. I get really into it, more so than the rest of the story ^^;

What are your writing weaknesses?

Pacing, structuring and the occasional grammatical slip-up that comes from English not being my native language.

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I've written some Portuguese and Spanish dialog on occasion. But in star wars fics thus far I've sprinkled Mando'a here and there. I think it adds flavor because you can't expect everyone to speak english. That's not how it works.

First fandom you wrote for?

I honest to god can't remember. I was writing fanfics since I was a tiny kid with no real archive.

Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

The Frog Trooper is my pride and joy, and I am honestly happy it's one of my top 5 hits.

No pressure tags: @british-hero , @milfcutlawquane and @gaeasun

[goforth-ladymidnight]

❄️ Hello!! It’s me again! ❄️

Very excited to tell you that I officially have a clear idea for your gift 🎁. It may end up more fluffy and romantic than angsty but I looked through your works and it seems like you enjoy that vibe so I hope it’s ok!!

I’ll be popping into your inbox every now and then to update you and ask you some silly questions because I really enjoy reading your replies 🤭.

Fun questions of the day:

-What are some of your favorite books?

-What do you think tamcien’s love languages would be?

Have a good weekend!!

-🎅🎄

Oh!! Hi Santa! I am so excited!!! 🤩

I know I went on and on about angst, but fluffy romance is right up my alley! I can't wait. 🥰

I am so glad to hear from you so often, and I'm so pleased that you like hearing my answers! ❤️ I don't often get the chance to ramble that often, so thanks for letting me! 😙

Fun answers of the day:

Favorite books? This is one of my favorite topics. GAH! Are you ready for this? Buckle up, Buttercup!

I discovered both A Wrinkle in Time and The Chronicles of Narnia when I was a pre-teen, and they are still my go-to classics when I need to read something cozy in bed. ("It was a dark and stormy night", my beloved.)

Because I liked to collect "Accelerated Reading points" for my reading classes in school, I discovered some classics that I might not have otherwise read. (I'm not sure where you're from, but essentially A.R. is a program where books with a higher reading level were given more points that you could cash in for prizes like stickers, pencils, or even T-shirts. I rocked those T-shirts as a pre-teen. Just sayin'.)

I read things like A Scarlet Letter, Animal Farm, and Moby Dick, all without being assigned by a teacher! Some I liked better than others (Moby Dick's Whiteness of the Whale, my beloathed), but I was a voracious reader, just the same.

While I never did fall in love with Pride and Prejudice like my friends did, I adored The Scarlet Pimpernel by Baroness Orczy! It basically laid the groundwork for such popular heroes like Zorro and Batman, and no, I'm not kidding.

Accelerated Reading was not emphasized as much by the time I reached high school, so I started reading more fantasy novels. I still prefer The Hobbit to The Lord of the Rings, for example, but the inverse is true of the movies, haha.

I tend to prefer fairy tale retellings over original fantasy, just because I like to know what I'm getting into. That's one reason I picked up ACOTAR! Well, the first reason is I discovered the Adult Coloring Book in a local bookstore, but I was intrigued by the artwork and the excerpts I read.

One such retelling that I recently fell in love with is "Heart's Blood" by Juliet Marillier, which is Beauty and the Beast set in ancient Ireland. I don't normally go for Historical Fantasy (since I prefer fantastical settings), but I was intrigued by the mystery of ✨The Enchantment✨. And the way the author wove it into the magic of the mirrors around the castle just blew my mind when I first read it. It felt like such a fresh take on the classic fairy tale, even though I've read at least five different retellings of the story so far.

One of those that I still dearly love is "Beauty: A Retelling of Beauty and the Beast" by Robin McKinley. It's definitely a slower read than some of the more modern retellings, as it came out in the 1970s, but I am convinced that Disney took notes from this work, since McKinley's Beauty is an avid reader, and so is Belle. I don't recall any prior adaptation that made her interested in books.

That being said, one of my absolute favorite Robin McKinley books is "Sunshine", which I'm reading now, in fact. I try to reread it every October. It's got Vampires, Cinnamon Rolls the size of your head, and a character who's trying her hardest to be normal after being kidnapped by said Vampires. What's not to love?

I could go on, but I think that's a pretty good start. However, my list of Honorable Mentions includes: the short stories of Peter S. Beagle (who wrote "The Last Unicorn"), Sherwood Smith's "Crown Duel" duology, and Garth Nix's "Sabriel". The worldbuilding in all of these is just top-tier. I love them all.

Now, finally, onto your second question. 😅 Tamcien's love languages, an exploration:

First, Tamlin:

Words of Affirmation: Yes, he struggles with compliments (Exhibit A: "Your hair is... clean"), but he seems to do better with the written word when composing limericks. When he whispers an "I love you, thorns and all" late at night, you know he means it. Still, this is probably not his number one love language. It's supposed to be something that comes naturally, after all.

Acts of Service: He gave Feyre a fully furnished painting studio, and he enlisted Nuan's help to fix Lucien's eye, but I can't think of that many examples, to be honest. He does hunt down creatures like The Bogge to make sure they don't terrorize his people or his lands, but these acts could also be boiled down to his duty as High Lord.

Gifts: Again we have the painting studio as evidence, but traditionally, it's the smaller just-because-I-was-thinking-of-you gifts that indicate the strength of this particular love language. I'm not convinced.

Quality Time: Now we're getting somewhere. The glen, the pool of starlight, the meadow with the singing willow, all of these special locations are places where Tamlin can just let his hair down and relax. He doesn't need to talk, and neither does his companion. He's just content to lie back and bask in their company.

Physical Touch: This one is tricky, because my first thought is that this one would be it. However. I think he gets "touched out" more often than not and needs to recharge. His main power is shapeshifting, which already takes a toll, but he's also expected to participate in the Great Rite every year, so it's less about intimacy and more about duty. That being said, I think he is definitely touch-starved at this point in the story, and it will take a lot of time and trust to let anyone get close to him again.

Final answer: Quality Time.

Next up, Lucien:

Words of Affirmation: At least in Book 1, Lucien is sassy and snarky, but when he gets called on it, he has been known to resort to overt flattery (Exhibit A: "Your eyes are like stars, and your hair like burnished gold"). Later on in the novel, Lucien admires Feyre's Solstice attire and says she looks "positively Fae", while Tamlin's comment is more sincere: "You look beautiful". I would therefore say that this is not Lucien's first love language.

Acts of Service: Lucien helped Feyre multiple times during her stay Under the Mountain, but it was, as he said "for Tamlin's sake". We do learn that he truly does care for Feyre later on, but this does not seem to be his primary love language, either.

Gifts: Like Tamlin, gifts from a faerie seem to come from a sense of obligation, rather than "thinking of you". The ruby dagger was something he gave up to reward Feyre for freeing the Suriel when she didn't have to. So I would say that Gifts isn't it, either.

Quality Time: He tags along with Tamlin and Feyre on many of their outings, but more than once he makes excuses to let them be alone. He seems too impatient to just sit and linger.

Physical Touch: I think this might be it, actually. Although it's never shown in the text, it is implied that he enjoys dalliances with other faeries while out on patrol. When Feyre has a nightmare in Book 3 (or pretends to), his method of comfort is to embrace her. Interestingly enough, I think he is more self-conscious about his scar and his eye than he would like to admit, and so he uses snark to keep people at arm's length until he decides they're allowed to approach. While Tamlin seems to be afraid of hurting people because of how strong he is, I think Lucien is more afraid of being hurt, like he was by Amarantha. Is there any correlation to your love language being used to wound you? I think so. For Tamlin, who seems to value Quality Time, his worst nightmare is to be left alone, even if he thinks that's what he wants. And for Lucien, it would be physical abuse, since a pat on the shoulder or a fond embrace seems to come so naturally to him.

Final Answer: Physical Touch.

Now I know that I relied a lot on canon to come up with these answers, and Tamcien's relationship is nothing but platonic in the series, but I can't help but think the same answers apply to their fanon pairing.

Imagine Lucien braiding Tamlin's hair while he lies back and relaxes (I think @/lucychanart has a piece depicting this, actually). Or Tamlin brushing a kiss against Lucien's scar, to remind him that it doesn't change how he feels about him. Or the two of them putting their heads together as they pore over a map in Tamlin's office. Lucien putting a hand over Tamlin's when his claws threaten to come out, and reminding him to take a deep breath.

That's not to say that they wouldn't also express their love in other ways, like the aforementioned "I love you"s or giving one another gifts once in a while, but for the common, everyday expressions of love, it's got to be Quality Time and Physical Touch. ❤️

Thank you for letting me ramble! This was a wonderful exercise. 😊

I hope you have a good weekend, too, Santa! I look forward to hearing from you again, whenever that may be. 🥰

[seadeepy]

2, 5 for the reading questions. also what’s your fav book of all time?

(2) Did you reread anything? What?

I did! I re-read Neverwhere by Neil Gaiman and Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir.

I have a friend that really likes Neverwhere, and it had been about a decade since I read it, so I picked it up again to understand his references better. It's not very high on my list of NG novels, honestly, but it did pave the way as his first solo published novel! And it's cool to have such a strongly agender character in a book from 1996 -- Neil has been on his nonbinary angels crusade for a looong time

I've reread GtN about a billion times by now, and can conveniently answer your second question too -- it's probably my fave book of all time, as of the last few years! On a lot of re-reads I skip to my favorite parts, but I logged this one as a proper re-read because I read it out loud in its entirety to a friend. This was a victory for me because she was one of the few friends of mine whom I hadn't already convinced to read it, and she's someone who usually strongly dislikes SF/F! But we made it through the whole thing and then had a fascinating in-depth conversation about the structure of its plot, characters, prose, and tropes/genre -- which is basically the dream for sharing any special-interest media of mine. I am approaching 100% completion of convincing my IRL friends to read the Locked Tomb series, and I regret nothing.

(If I weren't picking GtN as fave of all time, other contenders would be American Gods by Neil Gaiman and Pride & Prejudice.)

~

(5) What genre did you read the most of?

I can answer that with a chart straight from StoryGraph:

I'm pretty sure Mystery ranks so highly because I read all 17 books in the Dresden Files series, plus the two short story collections -- the series is a fascinating blend of urban fantasy and detective noir, and I highly recommend it. Relatively light reading, entertaining and has absolutely phenomenal recurring characters.