#I have in mind to just do a whole lot of redraws and re-designs at first- since I already started some of 'em

[cloudsrust]

Honestly I'm juggling so many fixations rn- I have no idea with what I'll come back once my classes end.

Pretty sure I'll just proceed to e x p l o d e.

[zahri-melitor]

Thinking about the shape of A Lonely Place of Living in relation to Tim's story and what Tynion was trying to do with it, and it's interesting to me, as I don't think it's his most successful story in terms of a narrative beyond re-establishing and re-centring a character, but he's once again playing with a lot of Tim's storylines and echoing various things (and not just ALPOD though obviously ALPOD, it's in the name).

Like you cannot get around that the story is about Gun Batman, because Gun Batman is right there. But the shape of how that works: it's a recapitulation of Red Robin themes. Because Tim's trapped, and Tim strategises a way to escape from his prison, and he has to cooperate with his enemy somewhat to achieve his goals, and as soon as he gets out the first thing he says to his family, to those he's closest to - is to warn them that Gun Batman is coming for them and particularly for Batwoman. It's SO Yost arc coded.

Gun Batman and Tim's discussions over whether the ends justify the means, and whether killing is acceptable echo through a lot of stories where Tim faces that and refuses to do so (The Young El and Dava arcs in Robin around #50 are always worth pointing out, because people don't know they're there, but of course also Red Robin #26 and trapping Captain Boomerang), but it's interesting here, as the story also establishes...if Tim doesn't even remember who Conner is, this Tim also may not remember having that fight with himself and redrawing that line, and then he gets to do it all over again.

And then we also get to do a Brother Eye aspect of the story, with the intertwined narrative of Bruce's paranoia, Tim's growing paranoia over the years, the echo between those all the way back for Tower of Babel when Tim tells his friends he'd never go so far as to have protocols like Bruce, but we know by 2010 he does have protocols as the life he's led has brought him to that, and what Brother Eye in itself says about Bruce's paranoia and that whole arc of Infinite Crisis and ongoing, about programming and about watching and observation and about control and about the overwriting of control of Brother Eye over the years (want to talk about OMACs and REMACs? there is stuff here to dig out about both) and about the similarities that exist between Bruce and Tim for Gun Batman to be able to exploit this faultline.

And also: you have Bruce's guilt threaded through all of this. Because the last 25 issues have been about Bruce mourning the loss of Tim in his heroic sacrifice, but interestingly in a way that is not like he mourns Jason and not like he mourns Damian, but in a way where he refuses to lose control.

In ALPOD the reason Tim approaches first Dick and then Alfred and then Bruce is because Bruce is losing control as he doesn't have a network. For Tynion's run, Bruce DOES have a network; and not only his family, he has all the other allies that Tim specifically recruited and anchored and befriended and he helped design and set up the Belfry for - a system that Tim sees as greater than himself and that he hopes can sustain things if he is selfish and steps away for his own purposes. But while it works, it's also shaky, because part of what made the post-Crisis Bat family and Gotham network function was Tim's presence as an anchor and a recruiter and a linchpin holding people together, and Tynion is saying things don't work as well without Tim's actual presence, and repeating the narrative that Tim learns over the years - he can't retire, he cannot step away, because when he tries to bad things happen.

Bruce can avoid losing his mind with grief because Tim built him a network (like he did while initially mourning Jason). But Bruce also doesn't allow himself to try to resurrect Tim after his sacrifice; whereas Bruce had to be talked through the 5 stages of grief by family members after Damian's death and then set out on a quest to alternately protect Damian's corpse/find ways to resurrect Damian (it ping ponged back and forth) when it was Damian who was dead.

And Bruce is so mad at himself when he realises that by allowing himself to process his grief like he did with Jason and live through having a dead son, every day, and remember his sacrifice...he's left Tim trapped, thinking people were searching for him and coming for him, when...they weren't. And he starts working to try and find Tim. Especially as Tim lived through Jason's death and Damian's death and Bruce's under-reaction to Dick's 'death' and he knows how Bruce reacted - and he's waiting for rescue. He could expect Bruce to come for him and storm the Gods themselves to get Tim back: because that's what Bruce so recently did for Damian.

Tim came looking for Bruce, because he didn't believe Bruce was dead. But Bruce didn't come looking for Tim, even though he's fought to resurrect another son, and realising that you haven't gone searching for the son who searched so hard for you when you were lost and believed dead? Yeah. Ouch.

And so Tim has to rescue himself and find his own way out - but he comes back still full of belief and forgiveness for Bruce. I also think there's something here in an inflection where Bruce gets the alert as they ARE now looking, and he storms into a hospital to get to Tim, as opposed to Jason's unknown, unrecognised resurrection and HIS hospital stay in Gotham.

The layers are there! There's a bunch of interesting themes! I just really wish it wasn't held together by Gun Batman. Though admittedly it's interesting to me that Tynion's version of Gun Batman posits that this is a universe where Damian was still Batman!666 and Tim had to kill him for it. AND that it can't be the future, because Gun Batman is being torn apart by the timeline, because of the changes made. He's not Tim's future. He's a nightmare, instead.

[princes-and-problems-au]

Lilith redesign and Lucifer re-redesign! Forewarning: This is all in good fun, I don't mean to pretend I can do better than the show, or that the show's designs are bad. I just want to have a nice time redrawing some characters! <3

Now that that's out the way, lets get to the actual art! I've stated some of this before, but I don't really like Lucifer's design in the actual show. He does have some cool motifs, I.E the circus theme, but it's really drowned out by the fact that he shares a lot of features with other cast members. I've also been heard that Lucifer, and by proxy Charlie, are meant to have Goat/Doll features, which I just... Don't see.

So, I decided to get rid of some redundant features (Bowtie, the red color scheme, and the vest) and really tried to highlight the royalty aspect. His top is partially inspired by an Indian Sherwani, though I've cut it off at the waist rather than let it flow down. I like his original white coat, so I tried to keep it similar. I thought giving him peacock features would represent his pride more than a goat. Goats are more connected to Satan and wrath, and sometimes Lucifer and Satan are interchangeable, but it doesn't seem the case in hazbin. Peacocks also have eye patterns, which would maybe connect him more to angels seeing as Lucifer is a fallen angel. Made him albino/leucistic because I wanted to keep the lighter/white color scheme as well. I decided to not give him shoes, since bird claws, but I did give him these leather strap things. Now, my favorite part of his design, The Jewelry and Cane! I wanted a really pronounced crown, one that wouldn't be ignorable, and I wanted the yellow chains to be a sort-of stand in for a halo, Lucifer clinging to his former angelic status. I hope I pulled it off lol. For the cane, I had once been taught that we don't actually know what fruit was on the tree in Eden and that some people thought it was a pomegranate, and I really love pomegranates soooo..... Rotting pomegranate cane! I decided to make it rotten because I honestly thought it fit him better, a decaying symbol of what caused his fall in the first place.

I didn't really like what they did with Lucifer in the show. Don't get me wrong, I really like the goofy, supportive dad angle they went with, but I feel there could have been more conflict. Have Lucifer be a genuinely disillusioned guy who thinks humanity is a rotten species that can never change. He's been there for literally all of humanities sins, he's seen the depravities of man. Further more, have him be too prideful to admit his wrongness. From what I was taught, Lucifer first tempted Eve to prove that humanity was flawed, and that he was better than them. Have him cling to the idea that there's no way that humanity could change because that would prove him false. Have him be a final boss of sorts, the first season could have built Charlie up, no mentions of Heaven interfering or anything. Instead it's made up of character development and minor antagonists (Maybe the vees?) and Lucifer could be mentioned as this guy who only brings Charlie down with his doubt. Then, the finale could be him deciding that Charlie's 'useless pet project' has gotten too out of hand, and have him visit the hotel. Over the course of the episode get him to be a real asshole, maybe he purposely tries to tempt the hotel guests to give in to their vices, like he did with Eve, and have him be proved wrong at the end of it all. Sort of like the Welcome To Heaven episode, have the sinners prove him wrong. Maybe he doesn't completely change his mind, but enough that he realize that Charlie's idea isn't completely stupid. And that's when he schedules a meeting with heaven, allowing for the angels and the whole 'heaven isn't actually that good' revelation to be properly built up in a second season.

Now, onto Lilith! I don't know how I feel about Lilith's design. It's just very... Eh. Nothing really stands out to me, and that sucks! I think the horns look cool, and that's all I can really say about the design. I also didn't really like how pale she was? I mean, coupled with Adam, this makes me worry their going to make the three original humans all white which is... A choice. So the first thing I did was give her some melanin. Lilith is from both Judaism and Mesopotamian mythos. While her name is mentioned in both places it's debated whether or not their the same being. I liked the idea of her being both, so that's what I went with. In Judaism, her name in Hebrew is often translated to "night creatures", "night monster", "night hag", or "screech owl". So I took that as inspo for the design. First off! I tried to make her appear more owl like, with the upper face seemingly connected to her hair and giving her bird feet, which a statue actually does give her bird feet lol. She was also often times related to amulets that, from what I understand were often used as stand-ins as a declaration of divorce, which in context of the show is... So funny. In her other hand is what Lilith's magic looks like. I'd like to think she was a very powerful being. Her dress was really fun to do. The under one is really tight, and reflective of the night sky, while the loser cloth I tried to give more twilight vibes. I like the idea that she and Lucifer match, Morningstar and Night Creature. The disc between her horns reflects the moons position, seeing as Lilith is also connected to the moon a lot. Lilith is said to steal husbands away in the night, which funny visual to me personally.

We don't have much on Lilith so far so I'm giving myself free-reign to do whatever I want personality wise! Lilith is a dangerous woman, and ruled hell in an iron fist. In this redesign, she and Lucifer separated long ago, both agreeing that life was taking them to different places. They ended up with split custody of Charlie. However, one day, she disappeared. This wasn't very suspicious, Lilith was often gone for long periods of time doing unspecified projects, but this time she didn't return. Charlie, who at this point was a teenager developmentally, was heartbroken. To this day she sends Lilith's old number voice messages on how her life is going, hoping one day her mother will answer her. No one knows what happened. Some suspected fowl play, others thought this was a long game for one of Lilith's plots.

So long story short, one neglectful parent and another disappeared parent makes for a very insecure, lonely child. Poor Charlie. Anyways, I'm thinking of redesigning Charlie and Vaggie next. I love questions, and thank you for reading this far!

[kaleidiope]

September Project updation post in October because, well, i’m silly

This post I’ll mainly talk about my plan for my stories, and the things that’ve changed along with my plans for them and such. This was suppose to be in September but, I procrastinated, so yeah!  And, a ‘keep reading’ line to keep things tidy looking! Also, I actually had this as a draft, but forgot about it! Also, also, please don’t mind all the spelling errors that i’m sure is in here, this is quite long, and i’m so sorry for all of that!

You all know the drill, this is an update for the story I've been working on. It was made in roughly February of 2019. Or at least, that’s when I got the idea for it. I’ve been working on it seriously since September of 2019. So, for about a year. On this blog you can find a good bit of random things about it, including drawings. A lot of the drawings I've done I never posted, maybe one day, probably never, but still! A lot of this Blog has actually been WIPS of my story. And, since those past updates, story pitches and such, a few things have changed, and that's what this is about!

First, for those who don’t know, I feel in love with One shot, Deiland, Moonlighter, Borderlands, and a few other games. Mainly One shot for it’s vibe, it’s feel. I loved it, maybe too much? And, really wanted to make something like it. I don’t see that atmosphere much, personally. On Music box maniacs, a lovely site, I was given the idea to make a melody for a character. And that’s how Umber came along. Over time, I kind of made Umber, and left her. Started trying to get into digital art, but without a tablet I tried to create a character that would be easy to free hand with a mouse. Which became Pax. Over time, I feel in love with Pax’s design. I drew him a lot, he was my first, and only OC. I’ve drawn random people and thing’s before, but he had a name. An age. And soon, a back story. He was set in a different world than Umber’s. Which, at this time, is almost abandoned. He was a potion seller’s child who only wanted to go on the adventure’s the customers where experiencing. And one day, he’d face a dragon, and possibly his fate. But that was scraped because each time I drew him, more and more, the backgrounds reminded me of Umber’s story. So, he became a child in her story and his was abandoned.  Umber was suppose to be a child traveling with no family trying to get awareness of her light to others. And once meeting Pax in another shop, he agreed to help her. So, you could say, Pax was Moonlighter based, and Umber was One shot based. The idea that her light was a bad thing and there were ‘”bad people” didn’t come until later. Though, Crimson was suppose to be a bully type of person who mocked, and even at times, almost hurt Umber. Because also, at this time, everyone was children. Once it was thought over for awhile then did we get the story line we have now. Umber was an inventor in a world suffering a seeming eternal eclipse. which was ruled by a corporation that was money hungry and didn’t care for the greater good. The world had glowing bugs that somehow emit a good amount of light, and through time and a lot messing and discovery, oddly power? Which is what the corporation sells, Starworm lights, and “batteries” of a sort. The bugs also allow some things to grow, but with them being harvested as much as they are, the corporation is killing the world. But, that won’t be their problem, they’ll be dead by the time it’s an issue. Now, we have a lot of characters and general world building stuff, along with the flora and fauna and how things work. So, let’s begin! (Yes, this is going to be a long post. I’m so sorry!) But, I have since changed a few things, which I will now state. I was pretty heck bent on giving them ages, but, I don’t wish for them to have any, anymore. This is not earth. It’s a planet without a sun. Keeping track of time is easier than days, let alone years. So for many, it’s just a toss up on how long they’ve lived for. Just a mere, rough, idea. I wanted ages for personality comparisons and height ideas for when I draw them. Which, was never my idea at first. This was just for OC’s to draw, yes, but then it became a story for them, along with for my own enjoyment and somehow it became more than that. Which, I oddly love. But, ages were more for an even sillier reason I've since abandoned as well, and I think the story’s better off now since then. Also, they were all children at a time. Adults wouldn’t even have names or faces, All adults were originally suppose to get full face masks. Instead of half masks. But Indigo ruined that, and after that, some of the characters were being made older. To fit with the personalities, for say, Talos. He was also a child, who I didn’t feel being a child would fit the character and mainly, their job in the story as a whole. So yes. The story itself wasn’t the main idea. Having OC’s to draw were. But I was given a lot of support on MBM with my story pitches, also, I enjoyed making them. So I continued. And I really enjoy this. World building has been the hardest, trying to make things make sense, like the eclipse lasting years. And the fact a moon bigger and that much closer to the planet would most likely make the planet itself, the planet’s moon, and the moon, the planet. And how is life still possible, along with, isn’t it cold? And to that, yes, yes, yes, and maybe XD Mainly, this is fantasy, yes, I do want it to make sense, yes, this isn’t earth. The people’s races aren’t our races, calling them human might just be an insult to them. I mean, they don’t even have pupils. (Thanks, odd drawing style.) So, my answer to a lot of this is, it’s not earth. This is fantasy. I’m doing this for fun. And I’ve done a lot research for something that was never suppose to be as much of a thing as it is, but i’m having too much fun to stop now. And with that as well, yes, a lot of my characters are suppose to have a deeper skin color. Talos, Mauve, Indigo, and so on, are suppose to have a more deep olive color. But, at the time of drawing a lot of them, I didn’t have the faith to execute other skin tones correctly. So I just didn’t. Just like drawing illustrations for my story. I didn’t think I would because I didn’t think I could, but i’m now willing to try. So, here is where we stand so far! I want my characters to have a rough age, but it could be depicted to give of take about three years. I’ve said I wanted Pax to be about 11, but I also see him to act older for his age and such. The idea of him being any younger seems odd, but if you wanted to give him a 9-15 age for an example, that’s more than cool. That goes for all my characters. I want a lot of my characters to look like their own character, i’m working very hard with redraws to make sure there’s noticeable differences with their noses and eye shapes and such.  I want different skin colors and face shapes and so on, but the idea of different races on such a small planet and even the idea of tanned skin in a world without the sun to give one a tan seems odd to me? But there will be differences, because I always wanted there to be. This story will indeed cover some heavy topics. Including but not limited to, alcohol, death, suicide, murder, mental and physical disorders and illnesses, such as DID, alzheimer’s, dementia, memory issues, abandonment, and a form of racism. All things are not straight out talked about or referenced, but lightly implied.  I took inspiration from a lot of things. (including places, animals, other stories and people) And I will not refer to any of it within my story, such as DID. There is already too much falseness and other wrong info on that and other things. I do not trust myself to paint it in a good light, nor a correct light. And will re-frame from actually stating a character has an identity disorder. The idea this world knows of DID and would use the same word is also something I question. But the characters disorder is based on DID. (Also, it’s Tobias.) The idea of genders is something that’s a toss up. I’ve never said anything of the sort and would rather not say anything. The idea that they have genders or sexuality is just something I don’t really want to think about and is rarely mentioned. The idea of love and such is mentioned, purely more for a joke/bit. But still I don’t wish to think of my characters with genders or those parts no matter what I refer to them as. Not mention these characters still aren’t human. I do use She/he/they pronouns for my characters and as of now have used phases like, “That guy” But, it’s become a personal running joke I want to make clear at the start of my story that it was translated and adapted to fit this worlds standers of word form. There are roughly 25 characters as of now, only five main characters, or should I say, five characters that get there point of view expressed. And about six support characters, and the rest are minor support characters. Some of these characters are only mentioned, or referenced, as an attempt to build the world. Questions are always open, and this story is undergoing many changes and constant consideration. As I learn, grow and improve my skills.  I have no hope or want for this to get big or anything of the sort. this is for fun. 100%. If it looks like I talk about this a lot, but never have anything to show for it, it’s because I want it to be perfect or close to it before I show anything. Which will be never, because I can never make perfect. I’m just trying to do the best I can and am pushing the limits of my skills to get there.  I should note, I am fine, I’m not “Pushing” myself. Which is why it’s taking the time it is.  I am really working on character personalities and keeping them coherent and sane along with the same. And talking about all this helps with that. As for now, I know what I want to do, and where I want my story to go, i’m just figuring out how to execute it best.  I’m more skilled in writing where I describe things, mainly emotions and the scene it’self. Along with script writing. I’m not skilled with writing conversations which is a large part of my story. Same with drawing backgrounds or anything that isn’t people. So my story so far reads a lot like a script due to how the conversations are laid out and due to how I describe how each thing is done. This is something I want to get a bit away from because it was purely so I wouldn’t get lost and confused with who was talking and the emotion/feel of each scene.  That’s because I have the attention span and instruction following skills of a carrot. I use my characters names far too many times along with a lot of other things I use for self help clarity which I hope to fix by the end. I do think it’d be cool to start dropping parts of the story and other things of what I have done, with the note that it could change. I feel it’d be fun, but i’m very hesitant to do so.  I do wish to make character bios and such for them all at some point and just have a post that lays down what has been decided so if anyone wants they can follow along with the process. But, that’s all a toss up as of now. Thank-you for reading, and for your time, I hope you have an amazing day! And I dearly apologize for this length! 

[citruscloudelephants-blog]

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