#I have enough of that in rl I don't wanna suffer from it here too

[dreamlandcreations]

There are bigger things in the world to be upset about.

Sure. But this is kinda my only safe place, somewhere to escape reality and the stress of it.

Most of the writers have the courtesy to leave warnings. It is an unspoken rule here (which probably shouldn't be so unspoken among many others) but lately I so often see all kinds of triggering stuff and/or reader descriptions in fics it's ridiculous but this kind in particular just kept coming and I had to let my frustrations out.

Just asking... If I would be complaining about something like noncon or drug use or suicidal thoughts being involved without warnings that would be okay? Bc I guess it would be, right? Why is that any different? If it can be bothering/upsetting/triggering then it should come with a warning or it should be tagged properly.

[starsmuserainbow]

Sorry for going so very, very much off-anyrealtopic here. This is not IC, not about anyone here but myself, I just need to get something off my chest about, well, in a way personal stuff but also, societies or idk what exactly, and this is my place to get stuff out.

Idk what I should tag this as, so consider this the only "warning" I can give. Simple said, it's probably better if you don't click the readmore. I probably won't feel comfortable having shared all this by tomorrow or at least next week or something, anyway.

Why. Why why why do things always have to be about money? Always, everything.

I never mention this on here really, and I don't wanna go into details here either, but basically, I don't have my own income and live through support from my family. Not that my family is rich, very much the opposite, it's basically that everyone gives up some things just for me so that I can live like this. Which, I do feel horrible for, but I also do not want to give up the "state of life" I'm in/having currently. Don't ask me to explain (if you do ask, I might try to explain my thoughts a little, but I don't really wanna make this too prominent a topic on my blog because in the end that's not what anyone is here for), judge me if you must, but I just felt the need to add this for clarification or something. Idk. I wish I could properly talk about this to anyone but if I myself feel horrible about it - not sure if by my own conscience or what, or more because of knowing and having heard often enough what other people think of this type of living - and I know what the "common sense" about these things is, how am I supposed to even consider properly talking about this to anyone.

Why is it so difficult for states or whatever to just make it so everyone, absolutely everyone, gets just enough money to come by? For all these important things like food, healthcare and, idk, power and warmth or something, and like, just the bare minimum. Without any need for anyone to "do" something for it alike applying for jobs or doing side jobs or whatever. Just a general funding to keep people alive and okay. Like, if it's just for really the bare minimum with very little leeway for anything out of the ordinary (maybe if you save up for a while you can afford some new machine or device or whatever, the likes, but basically it takes a while to save anything much), I'm sure not many people would be happy or satisfied with it, and outside of that I think that most people actually want to and "have to" work out of what they themselves feel the need/urge to do "with their lives" or something anyway, so "everyone would do it then" is not an explanation. And like, those like me, that just want to live and experience some (small) things here and there that I can save up for if I do so really carefully, could live in peace with that and without having to be forced into things and suffering through like idk shtty work or not being able to pay for whatever necessary stuff, or something.

I just, I just. I just want to live in peace, be able to eat and survive and play some games and/or do my writing and iconing and watch shows or whatever. I don't need travels or big events or anything like that, I just want to live my life on my own - well, with my family, but, yknowwhatImean. I don't want much. I don't need much. I know I'm not social. I never was. I always was a loner, I never liked being among people (except for family, which is different). I have no (RL-)friends. I like my online-"friends" or contacts, I don't need more or anything else.

I wish there'd be an easy way to have like a little bit of (passive?) income through whatever online or the likes way so I could live this life I want, without having to live off of others. If it would be possible, I'd rather live "off the state" than off my family, but it's not as simple as it might sound.

If anyone actually reads this, I'm already expecting to get/hear, idk, insults or mean comments or something about being lazy and whatever, or who knows if I get especially unlucky many of you will decide that they don't want a person like this on their following/mutual-list and I end up having like no mutuals anymore by tomorrow or whatever, but, something brought all this back up inside of me today and I just have to scream it into the void somewhere.

[matan4il]

hey that post the other person mentioned about you talking about ana's ableism. I can't seem to find it? If it's not too much of a bother, could you maybe link it ^^' you totally don't have to if you don't wanna I hope this doesn't come off as rude

Hi Nonnie! Of course, and you’re not rude at all. It was in a reply to an ask that you can find here. Thank you for being interested in reading it! xoxox

I recently discovered 911 and Buddie and even more recently found your metas! WOW, my unobservant ass is blown away by your metas. I love reading your thoughts after an episode. I’m sorry if this has been asked before, but I just read that there’s been beef between Oliver & Ryan and they unfollowed each other on Insta in January. Do you think this has contributed to their lack of screen time together this season or could prevent any chance of canon buddie? 🥺🥺

Hi Nonnie and welcome to the fandom! *big hug* I'm so happy that you’re enjoying 911, Buddie and my meta, it’s a pleasure posting when I know people do! :D As for Oliver and Ryan, we don’t actually know what the situation is with them. Maybe they’re still friends, maybe not. They did unfollow on IG, but they still follow each other on Twitter, so who knows... But as for their working relationship, I have no doubt they’d both be professional about it even if they weren’t friends anymore. I’m also sure no show runner lets personal relationships dictate the course of their show. We know there’ve been on screen romantic couples whose actors absolutely detested each other in RL, but you wouldn’t ever know it watching the show. So if Tim decided to give us canon Buddie, I’m sure the status of Oli and Ryan’s friendship wouldn’t influence that. More than that, I also don’t think they’ve had less screen time together than in previous seasons. At least, as someone who’s been analyzing the eps for several seasons, I’m not seeing a significant difference so far (’coz it’s an ensemble show, the amount of Buddie time we’ve had has always been limited, we’re the ones who magnify it). I hope that helps! xoxox

Hi! I'm the disabled anon from the other day, I just wanted to say thank you so much! your words really meant a lot and it's good to know there are other people who feel the same way! I'm sorry about your vertigo, I've had vertigo occasionally due to my chronic illness and its so awful, sending you hugs and much love!

Nonnie, I’m so happy to hear from you, thank you for following up and letting me know you saw my reply and that it helped! Absolutely made my day. And thank you for the kind words, it means so much! vertigo really is awful and I’m sorry you’ve had it, too. I hope it’ll somehow never affect you anymore in the future and that you don’t suffer because of your illness. Big hugs and so much love to you! xoxox

(a few more short replies under the cut, to save your dashes)

- Nonnie who sent me the gifset? I hadn’t seen it, but you’re right, it captures exactly what I was talking about. I added it to my queue. Thank you! xoxox

- Hello again, Nonnie with the ‘TY’ prompt! Thank you, you’re very sweet! Hey, we’re all just watching the same show and having fun together, right? So you’re always welcome in my inbox! And thank you, added it to the prompt! xoxox

- Nonnie with the Albert theory, I like how you’ve constructed your reasoning, it was really well done. In fact, so well, I’m not copy pasting, because it might turn out to be spoilers instead of speculation. XD IDK if the show will do quite as well as you in building his place on the show, but if they have any sense, they will def follow your logic. ;) Thank you for sharing! xoxox

- @yelenabelous, it’s always so lovely to hear from you! *hugs* To you and the Nonnie who asked me about Buck and ADHD, I really don’t know enough about the subject to comment, but I believe that whatever headcanon helps and makes people connect, it’s more than valid! Also to this same anon, I did not see that thread with Oli, the one with ‘spoiler’? So I can’t reply, but I wouldn’t be opposed if you hit me up with a link. Thank you both! xoxox

[redxblueihateloveyou]

THANK YOU for saying all of that about the sk8 fandom. I think it's mainly because it's a young fandom with a lot of young people, but yeah, they have zero chill. It gets kinda annoying when you actually stop and think about the show and realize that a lot of things are just,,, not the way they think they are/should be

Also, I have compared some Reki and Langa scenes to rinharu scenes, but it's mostly because I see them and think "nice reference Utsumi" because they remind me of them so much, but to say RL are in the same level as them, or any other couple they've compared then to is kind of a stretch. Reki and Langa are, at best, a very very tame version of any of those, and while is see why they would focus a lot more on the puppy love thing they have it really pales in comparison (although they don't really compare it to free! because they're so hellbent in calling it queerbait as though half of the scenes they claim are so romantic did not also happen in there before, because they really don't understand how romantic coding works in anime).

Anyway, your blog is amazing :)) You always come off as a very smart person who is also just so done with people's stupidity and I'm 100% here for that haha

Haha no problem, needed to get it out of my system anyways. It’s true, but also once again being young shouldn’t always mean you’re that stupid, let’s be real here. And if you are that stupid, they need to know about it at least, so next time they’ll maybe think twice before saying stuff they say.

Their main problem these days is their herd feeling, it’s like one says smth stupid, others, having no brain of their own, repeat it and here’s what we have at the end. A whole field of a damn cicadas meaninglessly shrilling. 

It would be much more entertaining if they’d have enough brains to at least not put sticks in their own wheels, but they sadly don’t, so taking them down isn’t even satisfying. Not to mention the fact that you don’t even have to do anything, sooner or later they’ll embarrass themselves, cause the combination like “a sense of self-importance we have, but real life experience and brains we don’t have” leads to a disaster. Tiktok won’t help you with everything and half of them don’t even know what they’re talking about in most cases, they only love throwing loud words trying to scare easily impressionable ppl these days, cause everyone is like “I don’t wanna be cancelled so I won’t say anything” lol.

They just do not get that when you start smth like this, same as with a good lies, you gotta be smart. Like ok, they don’t distinguish real life from fiction, fine, but they can’t even check the age of the characters of their other ships before yelling “pedo” about others, so idk what to say here really. I just truly feel bad sometimes about even saying smth, bc like maybe just let them be, imagine the embarrassment of being this stupid? Who even puts them in charge of other ppl’s money idk. 

Yeah, I understand I compared the scenes, too, it’s inevitable, cause they’re all there haha. I was like “our” and thats also “ours” lmao. What I do not get is why would you compare them as if they have the same relationship depth (like high schoolers who have known each other for a month and a couple who knew each other for 7+ years and who planned their future together) or say that the reasonings behind the character’s behavior are same, when they’re entirely and I mean ENTIRELY different. It’s like not even anywhere near same. Like the comparartion of their break up with 13 year old Rin just hit me too hard, I was like.. let’s just not, not pls haha I’ll write a damn essay, but pls it hurts my soul seeing this. And comparing their fist bumb (ai, excuuuse me, eternity sign) to victuuri exchanging rings, I was just on the floor seriously. I just can’t handle the fandom of this pairing, it’s too weird for me. Logic left the chat on their tag and holy shit they’re blind to everything. I’m even glad I’m not into this pairing, cause I feel kinda sad for normal ppl who are into it, bc its like entering a kindergarden. Llike an absolute zero connection to reality, reading too much into things and all the chastity belts in one place, I was like... oh damn I’m too old for this shit and even if I was invested I’d probably still run away haha.

I’m really happy that you enjoy the blog! Thank you so much <3 Haha I have zero tolerance for stupidity, true. It’s such a bad quality tho, I sometimes suffer a lot just by seeing smth and be like “I can’t, I just have to say smth, I just have to, otherwise I wouldn’t be able to sleep, it’s that stupid” lmao.

And sometimes part of me goes like “you know it’s pointless, it’s like talking to a tree”, but other part of me is like “no, it talks, and it means I can shut them up” lol. But I truly don’t get why ppl listen to this and indulge them seriously. Like I know stupid ppl prevail in this world in general, but like in fandoms they’re pretty easy to dethrone, if you bring up the right arguments. And I know in rare occasions, when you really cut them deep, they tend to attack in large groups like locusts, but it’s not like they can eat me through a computer screen, so idk. If I’ll get invested in that one ship after s12 I just might poke them a bit more out of spite lmao.

But also they are kids really, I mean, you can scroll through the tag and know for sure that like “yeah, that’s kid’s perspective”. Most of them didn’t even reach the age of the characters they’re watching things about, but like to pretend that they know stuff and most these days don’t have enough additional knowlenge to be smarter than their age, cause they are too busy well, tweeting about the stuff they know nothing about, so it’s kinda not really enjoyable to talk to them since I’d rather discuss it with someone who at least was in high school already and you know, not extra lol. 

I’m just kinda upset that it turns out to be a kids fandom, that’s all. Cause like chats and dms and sisters are great, but like I want the tag to look hella different, seriously. Bc I’m interested in characters and relationships complexity, not pink vomit. Well, you know the enjoyment of a great fandom. It’s a bliss. I have those thankfully haha.