#I go back to dai where romances built up gradually or started up with passion

[alluringjae]

queen of hearts - sjn

summary: for the first time, one of your star students hasn’t been fetched right after class. but when she finally does, you weren’t expecting such a fine man to be her father.

pairing: johnny x female reader

word count: 5.5k

genre: fluff, romance, comedy | ceo and single dad!johnny + ballerina!reader + modern day!au

warnings: mentions of an absent parent, johnny being an overthinker, sexual innuendos (ten saying dilf hehe), slight explicit language, technical terms of ballet, a mini reference to mean girls

author’s note: sooo i came in touch with my former dance life, which led me to write this. there are links for the variations i used; their names are underlined when they’re mentioned. i am going to get technical with ballet terms here (even when my ballet knowledge decreased), so to any dancers reading, i really did my best, so please don’t come for me or do correct me for any mistakes.

although one character and her dance background, plus the name of the setting, are real, everything else about it is still a work of fiction.

i miss dancing, no cap.

leave me some feedback, constructive criticism or hellos!

Ballet student and teacher by day, a soloist of the Korean National Ballet at night.

This was your daily routine, and it wasn’t the typical 8-5. But it’s debatable whether or not it was worse, because you’re always going overtime. That’s the thing when you’re an overachiever. Nonetheless, you loved what you do. It’s the lifestyle you gradually built since your preschool days.

Mornings on the weekdays were mostly vacant since all the kids were still in school. You’d start at 10 am for a warm-up class for the company. Before you delved into teaching and assisting, you’d train right after your lunch break. Partnering class, en pointe class, 1-on-1 sessions with choreographers, self-practice, then the company night class, that’s the organization of your week.

Now adding the teacher title, you mostly handled kindergartners to 5th graders in the academy aspect of the company. Your first teaching class would start at 1 pm. It’s when the younger students who finished their morning classes zoom into your assigned dance studio. One class would last an hour and a half, then you have a 30-minute break in between another class with the older kids. Their lesson repertoire was more strenuous due to the added across-the-floor lessons and jumps. Water was always your best friend, water refilling stations located everywhere in the company building.

You wouldn’t say you’re a strict teacher, but you weren’t shy to correct anyone from wherever you stood. You’d lightly align their arms or back properly so your students were working on the correct body parts. Compared to the other teachers, a lot of students enjoyed your kind yet frank approaches. Your former students, who’ve already gone to the higher levels, missed your lively presence and wished repeatedly that they want you back as their teacher.

“Teacher (Y/N), I miss you so much! Teacher Ten is so intense. I get the jitters especially when we’re en pointe on the floor.”

“Teacher (Y/N), Teacher Sicheng and Teacher Seulgi scare the heck out of me during partnering class. Especially when I tried to lift my partner, I keep losing focus because of Teacher Sicheng’s never-ending comments!”

Not to be sadistic, but you’d simply laugh at their minuscule complaints. Even if they’re struggling in the academy, those comments were directed to fix their techniques if they wanted to breakthrough.

“Kids, you’re going to be fine! They wouldn’t say or do those things just because they wanted to. They’re here to push you to the next level, like how I used to do with you. It’s a cut-throat industry after all.”

This was always your reply, bittersweet and truthful. Not everyone makes it, unfortunately, so if you’re really striving, you’d do whatever it takes. Throughout your career, you’re relatively impressed with how far you’ve come.

Trainee at 17, Corps de Ballet at 18, Demi-Soloist at 21, and Soloist at 23.

You’ve been a soloist for 4 years. The final stage, which was to become a principal dancer, is your running goal. Becoming a soloist was praiseworthy enough because you’ve seen so many give up in the Corps, but claiming a spot as a principal dancer has been the ultimate dream. Since you’ve watched Swan Lake for the first time at 4 years old with your parents, that’s where you found a passion for dancing and the stage. Here you are years later, practicing numerous variations daily, performing in opera houses, and mentoring all these gifted kids.

Your last class with elementary kids, which began around 5 pm, reached its end once all the students curtsied in front of you and scurried to their mothers or their nannies. The remaining plan on your agenda today was the company class at 7:30 pm, which exceeds the average hour and a half. It’s worse during show season. There have been times everyone went beyond midnight to polish every scene from head to toe.

Currently, there’s no upcoming show for the public, though the annual summer recital for the students was around the corner. Selected members of the company were chosen to perform individually in it, which was both exciting and intense. It’s also because it’s an evaluation on whether you’d get promoted in status or staying put. You’ve partaken in 3 recitals in the past, two of which elevated you from the corps and demi-soloist ranks. The recent one, however, didn’t change your soloist ranking.

It was a major first in your career in ballet, and after finding out the result of the latter, it emotionally pained you. Recalling how much soul you put into that piece, the rejection from your artistic director clenched your heart. Though in time, you moved on from it and viewed it as a stepping stone. Also, Sicheng and Ten personally stormed your apartment to pull yourself together with wine and pizza after going on a short leave.

Since you were trainees, Sicheng and Ten were your best friends in and outside the company. Working daily to occasional barhopping, that’s your youth summed up. It wasn’t because you didn’t like the girls you’ve worked with (though a lot of them were fake and bitchy), but these two were frank and humorous as hell. Together, you’d help each other with your goals rather than be competitive. Over time, Ten leveled up to a principal dancer for 2 years running while you and Sicheng were still soloists. The way you’d watch Ten take all the big roles, that’s where you want to be one day.

Back in your last teaching class, the entire dance room was vacant. Since it’s mainly used for ballet classes, you’d either run through anything you’ve practiced from the company classes and polish it or warm up a little bit more.

Except for today, this was the only free time to sew a new pair of pointe shoes because your current ones were dead. Dead in a sense that the hard shell turned soft, which won’t be able to support you when you’re up on your toes. You’re not taking any risks of minor injuries especially when you’re in the current lineup of company members performing for this upcoming recital again. You have to prove to everyone that you deserve a position as a principal dancer.

As your legs sprawled in a half middle split, your sewing equipment laid in front of you like you’re about to perform surgery, a tiny girl stood by the ajar studio doors. In her neat bun and holding on to her small duffel bag, you’re convinced everyone has gone home already since it’s quite late.

You may have your priorities as a company member, but she was still your student.

“Minji!” You shouted her name, speedily waving your hand. You’re not one to have favorites, though you couldn’t help wonder how extraordinary she was. She’s always taking charge in demonstrating the lessons to everyone and improving every session in the 3 years she’s joined the academy. “Come in! Come in!”

At age 7, she’s gotten taller through the years, above the average from how you see it. She must have amazing genetics. Her legs sauntered in seconds to you. Sitting down across you, she marveled at your setup. Specifically, at the fresh pointe shoes.

“Are those yours, Teacher (Y/N)?” She perked up, caressing its soft fabric and playing with the mini bows of the drawstrings.

“Yes, it is, Minji!” You answered while trying to insert the thin thread through the small eye of the needle. “Why are you still here? Is your nanny stuck in traffic or something?”

“My nanny went on sudden leave, so my dad’s the one fetching me. But I think he’s running late from his job.”

Oh, this was a first to know about her father. In all the years she’s been your student, you rarely caught sight of him, even in recitals. Maybe he sat in an unknown section, but you’re pretty much acquainted with all the parents of your students. Even if some were snobbier than the rest because they wanted their child to have more stage time, you still got to know them out of respect. Quite odd, if you said so yourself.

After deep concentration, the thread triumphantly passed through the eye so you tied the two ends of the thread in a double knot. Seeing as Minji attentively watched you, you tasked her to cut the ribbons of your shoes according to the trail of pencil marks. This was so she wouldn’t cut it too short or too long. While she did that, you hammered your shoes against the floor to soften the hard front, bending the shank back and forth so the arch of your feet could move without difficulty later.

Minji wasn’t expecting such loud sounds, her entire body shaken awake. Her facial expression was priceless, explaining to her, “Once you get your first pointe shoes in a few years, this is one of the basic things you need to do so your feet won’t hurt too much while dancing.”

“Will you be there to teach me how to make my pointe shoes?”

“Absolutely! Come to me first then I’ll mentor you all that I know.”

The process of sewing and breaking new pointe shoes engraved your mind since your adolescent years, with changes along the way. Inspired by some tricks from your former teachers, but there were some differing rituals you followed. There’s no definite process of it, just as long you’re comfortable to dance after.

With your feet, you stepped on the hard boxes of the shoes to soften it more, creating a popping sound. Followed by sewing your elastic bands in. For your ribbons, you liked to burn the edges with a lighter so the thread of it won’t run. Kindly asking your cute assistant for the lighter beside her, you scanned the edges back and forth the flame. In seconds, the edges had a distinct mark, fully closed. From there, you slid your feet to your shoes to make final sewing adjustments. Sewing your ribbons took you another few minutes, plus adding superglue inside the shoe so the shoe won’t collapse when it unstiffens and scratching the shank with a cutter so you won’t slip later while dancing.

Voila, the final product is done! Hopefully, it can last you a week at least.

“Wow, Teacher (Y/N), it looks pretty!” Minji applauded, collecting the mess you’ve both made to dispose of later. You, on the other hand, gave her your thanks once you applied some bandages on your big toes and put on your toe pads. Slipping inside the shoes and tying them, you rose up back to your feet and headed to the bar to break them in. From plies-relevésto forced arches, the shoes gave you the sensation that they were an extension of your feet. The ease flowed through, meaning you were ready to practice your variations.

While you stepped your shoes in rosin for friction, your curious student moved to the front where the mirror lied to watch what you’ve prepared.

“What variation are you dancing to?”

“This is the Gamzatti variation from La Bayadere.” You replied, tapping the play button on your phone and racing to your position on the side. Talking a short ballet walk, you strongly prepared your arms before the music of the orchestra takes off.

This variation consisted of a lot of jumps and turns. Grand jetés, attitude turns, chaîné turns, you needed a lot of core control and proper spotting so you won’t get dizzy. The thrilling music lessened your nerves because you enjoyed learning this piece from one of the principal dancers, smiling and letting the music guide your legs. Once you nailed 3 consecutive grand jetés, the variation ended with a sus-sous and the wrists of your hands flicking upwards.

Holding it for 5 more seconds, you landed back on your feet with heavy breathing and a need for water. But before you could, small claps and cheers from Minji in front erupted. Momentarily, you’ve forgotten her presence because dancing solo puts you in your own space. You’d never let anyone take you away from it.

“Teacher (Y/N), that was wonderful! Are you performing that in the summer recital?”

Yikes, she’s right but she wasn’t meant to see it yet. Solo performances from the company members for the recital were top secret, only unveiled during the production rehearsal. Well, you didn’t think this through, but you didn’t mind.

“Can you keep a secret?”

Time ticked a lot faster today, only 10 minutes left until the company class on the ground floor whereas you were in the second. Just a few steps down the stairs away, yet Minji was still here. You only presumed that within your hour break, her father could’ve made it already. But maybe he’s stuck in traffic or at work.

“Minji, my class starts soon. Have you contacted your father?”

“I already texted him earlier, but he hasn’t responded. This happens often, he’s a busy man.” She bowed in front of you suddenly. “I’m sorry, Teacher (Y/N) for the hassle.”

“Oh no, please!” You shook your hands so she’d stop. Because this situation was relatively new, you were unsure of how to handle it. Or that was until you remembered what Ten texted you earlier. “Minji, the blinds of the main studio are going to be lifted so anyone from the outside can view us practicing. Would you like to watch until your dad gets here?”

With her insistent nodding, she situated herself in one of the seats in the front row. When you entered the main studio, your two close companions already carried a metal barre to the center and leaned towards it while observing you walking to them in your flat shoes.

“I see we have a bit of an audience here.” Ten glimpsed at the young girl, astonished by the many dancers prepping and chatting away with their cliques from the glass barrier.

“Her dad isn’t here yet, and you did say the blinds were up today. Might as well give her a show while she waits, you know.” You lifted your right leg to the top barre, stretching it with your arms.

“Hmmm, shouldn’t her dad be more cautious though? It’s getting late and it’s a Thursday. Doesn’t she have school or something?” Sicheng pointed out, discarding his muscle tee to straighten out his leotard.

“That’s not my business though. She’s just my student, and since she’s still here, I have to entertain her while she waits.”

Before your friends said anything back, the artistic director of the ballet company strutted her way to the center of the room. It’s a common rule here that once she entered, everyone must be silent to listen and race to any free spot in the numerous barres spread out if they haven’t.

“Alright, everyone. We’ll do the typical barre, then before doing across the floor exercises, I’ll be requesting those performing solos already in the recital to dance any variation tonight as another evaluation on who deserves to perform twice.” She eyed the pianist directly beside her. “Proceed first with two demi-pliés then one grand plié. Don’t forget to do the port de bras of each position.”

As the live piano music played, your focus was divided. Partly properly executing the exercise while your artistic director roamed each barre area, partly thinking about what variation to perform. This was a first for the company, and everyone was just stunned to hear the breaking news. It’d be nice to get an extra opportunity to showcase to people your potential.

30-40 minutes flew by quickly. As the guys carried the bars to the side to clear out the floor and the girls changed to their pointe shoes, the artistic director ordered all the performers of the recitals to stand in a line in front of her. Everyone else was seated around the room, so the interested eyes of everyone were on you. There were 10 performers, half are from the corps and the other half are either demi-soloists or soloists. You and Sicheng stood beside each other, internally shaking with nerves under the intimidating eyes of the artistic director. She used to be a principal dancer for the Stuttgart Ballet in Germany before moving back to Seoul, making her undeniably capable of leading all of you.

“Okay,” From her seated position observing the 10 performers, her finger pointed at you directly. “Ms. (Y/L/N) (Y/N), you perform first.”

Your nerves intensified and more sweat streamed out your upper body. Even if going first felt more relieving, no one was ever brave enough to perform individually in front of the esteemed artistic director. Principal dancers aside from Ten that you’re close with were intimidated when they have 1-on-1 or partnering sessions with her. But anyhow, in less than 2 minutes, you’d be done. This wasn’t the first time she’s had your full attention either, so you’ll treat it like the other individual performances you’ve had.

You smiled to yourself when the other soloists left you alone, while you gave the name of the variation you’re dancing to the pianist. Running to the side to put on a practice tutu, the artistic director asked, “What will you be dancing for us tonight, (Y/N)?”

“I’ll be dancing Queen of the Dryads from Don Quixote.”

The last time you did this variation was 3 years ago during the recital that didn’t change your position as a soloist. Even if this variation hurt to think about for a while, it was still one of your favorites to watch and do. Moving on, you could only muse how powerful and beautiful you felt at that time. This isn’t an easy piece to perform in your opinion. Yet according to the members of the company, this was their favorite solo of yours.

As the starting notes unfolded, you took a deep breath and elegantly walked into the frame. You only wished you wore your fake crown again for this. Minimal smiling and light arms, you imagined yourself as an actual queen who captured the eyes of many. In this case, your fellow seniors and juniors held their breaths at the captivating sight of you.

Off you go into a series of glissade jeté developpé on relevé at elevating heights, then a fouetté arabesque and another arabesque on relevé before ballet walking again to the side to dance across the stage. Sissonne to the front, right developpé to the front on relevé, pique to prepare for a single pirouette, you gracefully did a chassé to the front twice and stood on your toes with a sus-sous.

Doing it a few more times, the climax of the entire variation was nearing. Returning to the center, you took another deep breath and lifted your left leg for the Italian fouettés. Spotting to the front and back while maintaining your balance, the variation approached its end with lame duck turns, posing with your arms were positioned at a 45-degree angle, your back slightly arched and your left leg doing a tendu derriére. Your eyes reflected at the mirror in front, surveying your alignment. Once your 5-second hold was finished, you properly put your arms down and closed your back leg into 5th position.

The applause from everyone in the room roared, Ten and Sicheng wolf-whistling even for more support. It’s a usual thing every time any of you perform individually, and no one minded it. The artistic director grinned, giving a quiet clap from the front before calling out the next performer, who was from the corps. Bowing to everyone hastily, you paid more attention to spot your student by the window. She was smiling ear to ear, waving both hands at you.

“You did amazing, Teacher!” She mouthed. Hearing words of praise from members was one thing, but hearing them from students was another. You’re so used to watching them and giving them your compliments that you often forget that you’re a dancer first before a teacher. Seeing them all delighted, saying that it motivates them more, showed that you’re doing a great job teaching them. You’re a reflection of what you pass down, and all you want was for them to be the best they could be.

From her jolly expression, a tall masculine silhouette hovered a part of the window. Her instinct of giving a brighter smile when the hand of said silhouette patted her head then carried her duffel bag again, that could only mean one thing. Excusing yourself to the artistic director, you stepped out to bid your goodbye and maybe meet her father. Minji and the tall man were about to leave the building if it weren’t for your breathy voice calling them out.

“Seo Minji and Mr. Seo?”

They stopped their tracks. Minji was fast to react, familiar with your voice and racing towards you for a sweaty hug. Meanwhile, your focus shifted once the masculine silhouette came into full view. You finally understood why Minji’s growth spurt spiked up, noticing that he was taller than Sicheng.

The top buttons of his shirt were off, yet he kept his formal blazer on. His hair was a bit tousled, some strands falling in front of his forehead. He must’ve run here. Peeking through were some roots of his scruff growing. His eyebags were almost as dark as his brown hair. Yet by the way his Rolex remained spotless, you blatantly assumed that he was more than well-off. Especially when the ballet academy was one of the most prestigious ones in Seoul.

Out of all the parents you’ve met, none of them appeared youthful like him.

“Teacher (Y/N)?” Thanks to Minji, you moved your staring eyes away from him. This was another first, since meeting only the fathers of your students wasn’t your norm. Meeting young-looking fathers, to be specific.

“O-Oh,” You ate your words, suddenly blanking out. “You’re leaving me without saying goodbye, Minji? Not polite of you.”

“My father was rushing right after watching your performance, and I don’t know why.” She responded, her finger scratching the top of her head in confusion. Speaking of said father, his strong presence appeared right in front of you. The wrinkles of his forehead creased while his eyes barely looked at yours.

“Uhm,” His fingers toyed with his Rolex. “I apologize for my tardiness. I got caught up in work and all, plus her nanny le-”

“Mr. Seo.” You halted his rambling, already aware of the situation. Like father, like daughter. “It’s fine. Minji loved watching us practice while waiting, and she wasn’t a bother either. You have nothing to worry about.”

“Phew.” He swiped an imaginative bead of sweat from his forehead, displaying his relief with his playful nature.

At age 23, Johnny Seo started his own company in the fashion scene and it grew internationally in the coming years. Then when Minji unexpectedly joined the picture, he’s been multi-tasking to make ends meet. Lately, as a CEO, he has had meetings and conferences on a daily. So, his position as a single father was always tested. It worsened when he rarely has proper time to spend any time with Minji unless it’s the weekend or late in the evening. Breaking it down, it wasn’t because he didn’t want to meet you. It was more like he couldn’t when his schedules were packed from head to toe.

Having the guilt of taking your precious time, “Seriously though, I am sorry for being late. Her nanny resigned suddenly, and I have no time to find her replacement.”

“Mr. Seo, again, don’t worry about it. As her teacher and a company member, I am practically here 24/7 so it won’t be a nuisance at all if this happens again.”

“Thank you so much, Teacher (Y/N). That is your name, right?” He planted his palm on his forehead, stressed. “Being a single parent is hard. I am always forgetting things.”

A part of you couldn’t restrain from feeling sorry for his struggle. Taking care of a child should be the work of both the mother and father, not one of them being absent. You’ve feared this would harm Minji, but she’s a strong girl.

“The fact you didn’t forget to fetch Minji despite the late time is still something to be happy over. I’m not a parent or anything, but parenting, in general, is a challenge.” You added an insight, patting the head of the young girl beside you. “Cut yourself some slack, Mr. Seo. I’m sure Minji still loves you, right?”

Minji shouted a big yes, now clinging to the leg of her father. “It’s okay, dad. Really.”

Over the years, Johnny has been doubtful of his parenting skills. He was an only child, and he struggled to ask for guidance from his own parents due to the shame of having a kid at a young age. So, he’d ask for help from his other friends and co-workers. No matter how many times they’ve reassured him that he’s doing well, he’s an overthinker who always reflected on the bad scenarios. There’s also that pressure to find someone who can fill that absent position not just for Minji, but for himself too. No matter how many girls he’s asked out or been set up with, he failed in the love department badly.

It’s the soothing way you voiced out your truth that made all these negative thoughts running through his head freeze briefly. Over the past 3 years since Minji started ballet, she always had a great story about you to share. One of them was how ballet made her a lot happier because of your influence. If he had at least an hour of his day to meet any of his daughter’s mentors, it would’ve been you.

“Do feel free to call me Johnny instead.” He casually introduced himself, taking his hand out for you to shake. “Mr. Seo makes me feel like I’m at work right now.”

Despite his informal approach, you understood his intentions and returned the action with a promising smile. “Pleasure to finally meet you, Johnny.”

“Pleasure is all mine, Teacher (Y/N).”

Earlier, the nerves from performing in front of the artistic director died down fast. But for some reason, they rose back up when you’ve spoken to this man in a matter of minutes. As someone whose feelings don’t flourish in a single glance, why did this man specifically deliver you such a strong effect?

If it weren’t for Ten calling for your name by the door, you would’ve held on to Johnny’s hand longer, which would’ve been inappropriate. Letting go first, this was your cue to return to your class.

“I must head back inside, Johnny. Don’t sweat on fetching your daughter late, though she is still a student with school the following day. Right, Minji?”

Minji nodded as Johnny kept that mind, knowing where he has to improve next.  “Yes, Teacher (Y/N). Thank you again, sincerely. I’ll definitely see you again in the coming days until Minji has a new nanny.”

“That’s no problem with me at all, Johnny.”

Soon as Johnny held his daughter’s hand to exit the studio and you were re-entering the studio with an impatient Ten, he swerved swiftly as if he forgot something.

“Oh by the way Teacher (Y/N), I saw your whole performance awhile ago. I was blown away, you deserved the applause.”

Although you could only distinguish his silhouette, you didn’t suppose he watched you from head to toe. Most parents or nannies would’ve dragged their kids out of the studio once they find them like they were on a tight schedule, so this was novel to experience. That performance showed your prime too.

“Thank you, Johnny. See you again soon.”

Giving a final nod, you led yourself back to the studio, not bothering to acknowledge the erupting heat on your cheeks and entire body. Not to sound narcissistic, but compliments weren’t foreign to you. You’re conscious of the hard work that you put in your talent and if they pointed out your greatness, why would you deny it? However, receiving one from Johnny was like gearing your engine with new fuel.

Before you could try to reject these harboring feelings, Ten was fast to pick up on it. You cannot hide anything from this man at all because body language was like another language he’s fluent in (aside from the other 5). Unlucky for you, the saga continued.

“You’re so into dilfs, (Y/N)!” He shrieked in your ear, nudging your shoulder repetitively. He placed things in his own way, yet they always shocked you because it was so inappropriate. Typical Ten for you.

“Shut up, Ten!” You objected, watching the other performers. You’ve improved in ignoring his remarks over time. That was until Sicheng sat down beside you after his solo and got up in your business. That placed you in the middle of boys from the water sign clan of astrology. They just loved getting down to your love life, going raunchy and whatnot.

“Who’s into dilfs, Ten?”

“A Miss (Y/N) beside you, who met Minji’s dad awhile ago, was basically eye-fucking him.” Ten elaborated, planting his elbows on your leg and gave you a sneaky glare. “Minji’s dad is fine as fuck, guys! I’m telling you, like a literal god! I’m surprised this is the first time he showed up here after 2-3 years?”

“How come (Y/N) is always getting students with good-looking parents? Especially the single moms.” Sicheng slumped his shoulders, attempting to get your attention too. “Is he that hot, (Y/N)?”

“Yah.” Sighing with annoyance, you’ve given up trying to appreciate one of the corps dancers with her rendition of Dulcinea from Don Quixote. “Don’t speak of Johnny like that. You barely know the man, yet you talk about him so unprofessionally."

“Oh, Johnny is his name, huh?” Sicheng sing-songed, bobbing his head. He’s certainly going to stalk him later on social media, you felt it in your chest. Like it was ESPN or something.

“Talking about being unprofessional, yet you’re here referring him as Johnny, not Mr. Seo.” Ten barked back, his lips pursed and one eyebrow lifted.

Just as soon as you could retaliate, the artistic director’s velvety voice boomed the room.

“Alright, thank you to the performers. I will deliberate with the staff and principal dancers over the weekend, and let you know the results on Monday. Now please, let’s proceed to the center.”

Everyone began to spread out on the wide floor, snatching a good position so they could monitor themselves in the mirror. Maybe you’ll defend yourself later after class because now, you needed to beat everyone else and have a crystal-clear view of yourself doing these following exercises.

In the meantime, Johnny was in the middle of driving Minji home. He had a designated chauffeur, but he gave him the night off because he wanted to spend time with Minji. Around this time, she’d be sleeping soundly, but instead, she’s boosting with so much life. She hasn’t even eaten dinner yet, which was the first thing on Johnny’s agenda now.

Playing Coldplay in the car, Minji belted some lyrics from her favorite songs while Johnny smiled to himself while listening to her attentively. Taking a breath, her thoughts reverted to her fantastic ballet teacher and shared them with her father.

“Dad! Don’t you just think Teacher (Y/N) is so cool? Ugh, I want to be just like her when I grow up.”

“Oh, to become a ballerina like her, you have to work hard every day and memorize lessons fast. Are you up for it, Minji?”

“Absolutely, dad! I want to pull off perfect jumps and turns like her one day!”

In the other after-school activities Johnny enrolled Minji in the past, none of them compared to the passion she had for ballet. Her work ethic was alike to Johnny’s: if they want something, they’ll do whatever it takes to make it possible.

Aside from being a star student in her school, she’s aiming to be a star ballerina. Being the supportive father he is, Johnny was on board to do what it takes to make it happen. Unlike his parents trying to mold him into the next heir of their company, he’s all ears to the dreams of his daughter. His only dream for her was to be live long and happy, not to merely pass on anything.

Johnny lost so much in his young life, so he doesn’t want to lose Minji in any way. As much as he loves his profession, he wanted to be an active father as much as time allowed it. He mostly received complaints from others that he’s not prioritizing his time well, but after hearing your kind words, this heavy weight on his shoulders decreased. All this doubt started to vanish after meeting you for the first time.

“Dad! Isn’t Teacher (Y/N) so beautiful?” Minji honored whilst gazing at the twinkling night sky. “She loves what she does and shines at it.”

Johnny was accustomed to his female co-workers throwing themselves at him due to his attractiveness, more than flattered even to have them feeling weak for him. Yes, there were times he used it to his advantage, some he frankly turned down. 

However, the radiance you carried whether you’re dancing or not was something Johnny couldn’t cease wondering about. Unknown to him, he’s the one getting weak. Behold, an unlocked first for the confident CEO.

“Yes, Minji. I do think Teacher (Y/N) is absolutely beautiful.”

[hopeassassin]

Rally’s Scribbles in the Work

So after that lovely anon blew my mind away with their kind words and wonderful support, and because I keep telling you guys about my writing plans without actually giving you even a teensy little detail, I have decided to stop being coy and actually likely get your hopes up a bit by dilvulging small details and bits of plots of what is currently going on in my G-Drive. 

This will be a brief recount of what I have currently baking in the AoMomo oven, so let’s dive right into it! Please note that the numbers are in no particular order - I just keep revisiting each of these stories and writing a bit more to them whenever I feel like it. So there’s no ranking and no importance, just a number to keep proper count.

1. “Knight of Renown” Dragons and Knighthood AU, based on that one AoMomo pic with Momo ithe Knight and Dragon Aomine that I reblogged a while back and I actually let me imagination go a bit too much in the tags. I ended up actually rather enjoying the premise I set up in the tags so I actually started writing that one out!  Completion rate at about: 5%? I’d say? Less? :D 

2. AoMomo Music AU - a dearly beloved project that I am pouring a lot of love and attentioin to. That’s why it’s coming along super slow. It’s been in the making since November and I chewed it and mulled through it so thoroughly that I’ve grinded to a halt with it. Intending for there to be 2 chapters, and I am at about 25-30% of chapter 1 currently ready currently. At the pace I’m going, it might be another full year before you actually get to see this bad boy up, but when you do, I’m sure you’ll see all the care and effort that went into making it perfect. Honestly, no joke here, I am intending for this to be one of my rare masterpieces in this tag. So I’m not gonna rush it!

3. AoMomo Car Accident AU where Daiki barely manages to save Satsuki from being run over by a hit-and-run and ends up being the one run over instead. This was my first piece of writing after coming back to AoMomo last summer and yet completion rate is a sad thing. I want it to be flawless, a perfectly agonizing, thrilling type of torturous read that gives you a great sense of relief by the end of it. Needless to say, the clusterfuck of negative feelings is a bit difficult to hold onto for a prolonged period of time and the work is coming along slowly. Planned at about 5 chapters, I have 2 complete ones and the 3rd one is at about ... 30%? Hopefully before this year’s whumptober, we’ll have a finished piece!

4. AoMomo bond character study, which went in a direction I did NOT expect nor intend. It was suppsoed to be an idea that you will see also listed below. But I started this one from their early childhood and somehow, instead of focusing on the kids and their bond and their weird interactions with each other and their first moments of realizing they are of opposite genders, it turned into something much too fun to let go of and the ideas for scenes just kept piling. It’s going to be a long one, very explorative and very in-depth character study on the bond between these two and how it changed over the years, and their first encounters with their sexuality inbetween (because that was really the main idea that I started with... xDDD;;;) Currently at 1 chapter complete, chapter 2 somewhere around 50-60% completion, and at least 6-7 chapters to come after that, soooo.... :’DDDD YEAH. THIS ONE AIN’T SEEING THE LIGHT OF DAY ANYTIME SOON.

5. AoMomo deciding to practice stuff on each other, because I am a sucker for this trope.THIS will be what the idea under previous number 4 was SUPPOSED to be like, but it instead spun out of control. So this one, under number 5, is going to be the smutty, idiots bumbling through physicality to discover that they actually have serious feelings for each other kind of piece. Chapters are planned at about at least 6-7 or so, but not my usual monstrocities! :D First we start with practice kissing, and we move our way up from there! 

6. “The Evil of Humanity” AU - a dystopian futuristic kinda mecha AU, sort of an amalgamation of some of my favourite anime in the genre - a bit of NGE, a bit of Gurren-Lagann, a lot of Darling in the Franxx rewrite and improvement, in distinctly AoMomo colors. I poured a lot of thought and love into initial outline of main moments for this one, and I really hope to make it an epic, thrilling action/adventure with a big dash of romance kind of read! Chapters currently not even planned properly, because I need to sit down and consider this seriously. It will definitely be more than 10-15 though, and they will be my usual chapter lengths so.... likely no time soon. :D 

7. Aomine Fanclub - I got a plot bunny some time ago and I shared it here and my friends were spurring me on with it, so I started trying it out a little more. I’ve written out like... maybe 30% of this one as well, but need to re-read and reconceptualize to get it back on track. The issue with this one is that I’m not really sure where I want to take it, thus it’s on the back burner at the moment.

8. KagaKuro AoMomo double-date kind of story, where Aomine is asking some curious questions of Taiga about going to America and pondering if any of his immediate friends know what Satsuki wants to do with her life. I’m really invested in this one but haven’t started properly writing it out yet beyond just sketching out the idea so I don’t forget it. (I’d say 1% complete here.) Really looking forward to using the idea of Kagami being super impressed with AoMomo perfect sync when playing as a team in arcade games!

9.Laws of Attraction Chapter 2 - You might be surprised at this, but I’m actually super invested in this one. Likely the reason why I am delaying so much working on it - I feel like all my great scene ideas are just too chaotic and I have a hard time starting the chapter flowing properly. I had like 4-5 false starts already and I’m feeling a bit skittish with picking it up. But I have such AMAZING concepts on where to take it after it revvs up the engine, so... Maybe sometime this year! Completion rate: 0% written, but at least about 30% ideas built up for the installment!

10. AoMomo college rooming together story - sort of an expansion on my fill for one of the prompts way back those years ago in AoMomo week. I really dig the concept and the trope of sharing spaces with someone you consider nothing more than a friend and then gradually learning to appreciate each other for something so much more. I am definitely doing this one some day, but not anytime soon, likely.

11. A random idea bit me the other day (read: a month ago) and I actually wrote out like... maybe 25% of it already as well. A random comment from Wakamatsu miffs Satsuki but then she realizes why he’s asking dumb questions and she comes to realize that something is wrong with the equation: either Dai-chan likes someone really close to them and she hasn’t realized, which is unlikely, or Dai-chan likes HER and is super blase about it in a way that betrays his feelings not at all, which is even more unlikely. Being a curious  individual, she sets out to find which it is! Some hilarity should ensue but mostly just some mess-with-Dai-chan fun!

12. Touou summer training camp at the sea - progress is practically 0, I wanted to write a summery piece and set my mind on this, but nothing beyond has come to me, so I’m not forcing it.

13. AoMomo cultural festival fic in second year of high school (meaning something approx end of Oct -> beginning of Nov.) with Daiki being in a distinctly Haruhu Suzumiya role at that festival (has anyone even seen this anime? I adored that episode to freaking bits, man, it’s engraved upon my soul) and singing Billy Idol’s “Rebel Yell” and one more song just like Haruhi did. And Satsuki just beholding the phenomenon he becomes in no time flat while he lays bare his passion for life for all the student body to see. Shippiness will happen in private afterwards!

14. You Can Leave Your Hat On Chapter 2 - Probably like 2-3 years ago while I was still in the damn woodwork and wrestling with real life and adulting being crap, I remembered this AU premise and I got super hyped on the idea of Club Owner Dai-chan being a flirt with innocent Satsuki who got dragged to his joined and fell in love at first sight with his shenanigans. I’ve already played around for like 7k words with the second chapter of this but I’m still not where I want to be at, so it will take a while longer to flesh it out.

15. Idol Worship - a story that I promised my mate aricana some 6 years ago the premise for which I am super hyped for but not quite engaging with it yet. The idea was that Momoi finally starts gettiing the dates she has been pesting Kuroko for for years, and Daiki feeling terrible about beholding that, whilst Kise is being pestered by Horikita Mai for a date and instead ditches her with Daiki because he knows his former Teikou classmate is a huge fan of her. Mai-chan isn’t particularly happy but somehow ends up enjoying her time with Daiki and starts considering actually pursuing him instead of Kise when she sees what an interesting soul he is, with the torch that he’s carrying for some girl in his life he doesn’t really talk about but is evident from the little things he drops off as hits. AoMomo shenanigans will start to ensue properly when Satsuki realizes that Daiki is actually having a close female friend who is not her but is Horikita Mai instead, Dai-chan’s perfect woman, practically. She doesn’t take well to the news and has to grapple with why that is! And what to do with these newfound frustrating emotions!

16. Obstruction of Justice Chapter 3 - MAYBE SOME DAY, I WILL GET TO WRITING THIS. Last summer I inteded to do just that but instead, Wild Side of Justice was born. And it became a spin off of sorts on its own. ORZ. I WILL FINISH THIS SOME DAY, I do have some plans for it and I do have the desire to pursue them. I just need to be in the right headspace for it ahsjkfhkjaf

17. A PWP story of Kagami arriving early for a practice match at Touou and somehow walking in on AoMomo getting busy with each other in very unexpected and explicit ways that Kagami did not see headed his way. Because, we need more PWP in this fandom, honestly.

18. And since we DO need more PWP, recently when checking the 30 lemons community on LJ (shut up, I’m not ancient, YOU’RE ANCIENT) I was wondering how exactly a smut plot around the “Taken by the Faceless Stranger” could work for Aomomo and I came up with this Masquerade ball that they end up both attending because of their friends and meeting each other and hitting off fantastically just chatting the night and then banging in a niche in the long castle-like premise of the ball. :’DDDD Cuz it’s me and if I don’t have something like that in the works, you know i’m likely sick.

ALL OF THESE I am planning on eventually finishing one day. ONE DAY!

For now they are in various states of completion and in various stages of being cared for and improved on with more ideas added and fleshed out.

I am not joking when I say I am very invested in this fandom. I just have difficulty getting to writing out these ideas when I spend like 60% of my free time playing my mobile games. :D 

So there you have it. I didn’t want to say anything about these because 1) I don’t want to get your hopes up. You Can Leave Your Hat On 2, for one, has been in the making for 3 years, very on-again-off-again kind of way, and I just... can’t do that to you guys. I have decided against posting any incomplete fics so I don’t torture you guys and my muse doesn’t abandom me forever for them. So when something is complete, it gets posted promptly for your viewing pleasure!

And 2) If I divulge too much of the story, I feel like my hype of it may disappear completely. Ehh, my muse is a willful creature, what can I tell you... 

So let’s hope at least SOME of these get to see the light of day soon!

[juniaships]

Actiontoongorlz's Top 8 Canon x OC Ships 💖💖

I've been looking at OTP/Couples memes for a while and decided that it's time for me to make my own! For an extra surprise I'm not putting Ben Tennyson x Jora Holiday on this list because I focus too much on them anyways & I want my other OCs & their loves to have the spotlight for a change. The timing couldn't be more perfect as we're close to Valentine's Day!!! If you don't support canon x oc or find my ships displeasing then move along because this is a Happy Place! 😁😁 Again these are couples that I consider my personal OTPs in regards to canon x oc. That and making more content with my ships in general! Be warned the text is long and contains spoilers for certain shows and such!!

Clarify: these are my own ocs so there's not going to be anyone else's oc/canon. I might have to save that for another post in the future! 💚 But yeah these are characters that I came up with :]

Alright I'm done ranting, let's get started!

1. Sonic x Lani: I never quite gave much thought into this pair as I should so I promise to do something with them in the future! I promise! What I appreciate about SonLani is that there's little drama, like everything is super chill because both parties are chill. It's not a big deal and they don't need grand gestures to show how much they care about each other. Unlike Preboot Archie with its carts full of poorly written romance and strangely OOC moments on Sonic's end, SonLani had a lot of time to grow, while keeping his established personality in check. They actually communicate with each other, and stick by each other thick and thin. Lani loves Sonic for who he is & has no plans on changing him. Likewise Sonic has someone he can rely on when things get tough; not to mention he can really be himself around her without going all "iLl sLOw dOWn fOr U." Plus the ship name I gave them is a huge nod to the games ^_^

2. Jason x Vanessa: A recent pair due to Vanessa being a new creation but I'm honestly in love with them right now. In-universe they are regarded as the prime example of 'Opposites Attract' in Odyssey. They didn't get along very well in Jason's first couple of months in town due to his hardheaded self and her aloof demeanor. But through events such as Blackgaard and Novacom they gradually learn to trust one another. They see each other in a different light, Vanessa realising that Jason is a lot more thoughtful than he lets on, and Jason discovering her hidden fun side and kindness. Vanessa provides challenges and a sense of normalcy Jason can enjoy away from spy business. Meanwhile Jason fulfills her thirst of adventure & simultaneous desire for a peaceful life as well as spirituality. They're a equals, regarding each other as such and not to mention the BANTER! Hard to believe a former nun can keep up with a secret agent both physically and trading barbs XD. There's also the Forbidden Love factor of Vanessa being the duaghter of Regis Blackgaard, Jason defending her because he KNOWS she is nothing like her old man. Their friendship and romance overcome so many obstacles. I can honestly say that if Vanessa was canon she'd be the type of person Jason would like to be with especially over Jillian Marshall *gags*

3. Kaysha Wallace x Leo Hamato: Now here's a ship that I want to get more into 😁😁 Honestly I love the idea of this pairing: the serious leadee x bubbly spirit! Kaysha is very perky yet understands Leo's feelings on shouldering so much responsibility (she being the oldest child in her family). She's very willing to support him because she doesn't want to see him get all weary from burden. Likewise Leo can be himself around her, and teach her to be more responsible. He doesn't doubt her potential and sees her as an equal even during those periods where she was not on par with the other ninja. Kaysha shows Leo it's okay to relax and let other people help him out and not shut everyone out. When Leo expresses his ability to give her a safe life she simply laughs it off; the way she sees it him simply there in her life is enough. The most interesting facet is their dynamic varies between shows, so you'd see different scenarios and reactions as well as similarities and differences in their romance subplot.

4. Artie x Rhodanthe: Another couple I seriously need to give more attention to, they're meant to be is the foil to Shrek and Fiona in several ways. Artie and Rho may come from different social classes but they're both searching for a purpose to prove their haters wrong. Artie lacked confidence while Rho was overconfident believing she didn't need help. Together Artie learns to stand up for not only for his kingdom and loved ones hut also for himself; Rho's pride gets tempered by Artie's kindness and willingness to compromise. Another thing I like is that Artie has someone who loves him for him not because he is attractive and of royal blood. Likewise Rho has someone who respects her in spite of her social standing & shares her beliefs in making life easier for the poor & outcasts. While both lacke the physical prowess of Shrek and Fiona they rely on each other's resourcefulness and strategic thinking to get by. Unlike Shrek and Fiona they don't get married at the end of their focus movie, resolving to figure out where to take their relationship next. They still have their own life goals and don't want to rush into a relationship which sends a pretty good message. However they have their disagreements - in fact they got a huge argument that became a plot point in Shrek Forever After - but through it all they rediscover the things that made them fall in true love with each other. I'm really loving the subplot I have planned where they forget their memories and slowly fall back in love again.

5. Finn x Alma: Surprise! Yes8 I have a Cars OC (that was originally a fanon Disney Princess) who is the niece of Tow Mater in my verse and she enters a relationship with Finn McMissile. The thing I love about this pair is that it allows Alma to use her skills to flourish, treating amd healing injured spies. She's also into travel and adventure so she can pretty much keep up with Finn. Likewise Finn realizes she is more than just a pretty face or a one-off fling but someone with the passion to face challenges head on; Finn seems to love a good challenge! But overall they'd make a nice pairing, Finn showing Alma the world and Alma showing Finn some of the more simpler things in life.

6. Alexander Paine & Qiu Jin: Well well well look at what the cat dragged in? If it isn't our first villain pairing? XD Just kidding only one half is a genuine villain. What makes this couple so unique in that their storyline goes way back to before the events of the show, he being a agent and she a mechanic. They loved each other deeply, even to the point of starting a family, but forced apart due to some troubling events. When they do get back together it's not so much a bittersweet reunion as Paine became a full villain and Qiu Jin had spent years in&out mental institution before being released There's visible pain & regret, Alexander desperately wanting a semblance of what they once had. He seeks power not just for himself for to heal her. But Jin refuses to go along with his schemes wanting nothing more than to move on and see their children. Jin is a huge Mortality Pet for him, but his own selfish desires for power is a major obstacle their love can't overcome. It's the more bittersweet of my pairings but an important one nonetheless.

7. Bruce Wayne x Nicola Holden: Ok the Brooding Guy/Gentle Girl trope is a mixed bag these days but I really like this trope in regards to Brucola. Like with Artie/Rho, Bruce and Nicola come from different social classes but has that same compassion and drive to help others. Nicola is someone Bruce can trust but at the same time she lets him know there are boundaries (aka don't use my weaknesses as a contingency plan). I also feel like Bruce needs a sort of normal love interest, while he has canon normal girlfriends most of them were pretty boring. At least with Nicola she has has a life outside being a love interest her own goals and motivations. She also loves Bruce for him, not because of his money and good looks. It's a generally healthy dynamic built on honesty & empathy. Another reason why I find this pair adorable is that it actually matches with the rest of the Trinity; you know, like how Superman is with a journalist and Wondy is with a soldier/agent. Nicola & Bruce having different ways of pursuing justice while still sharing similar moral codes. It helps that Nicola is actually a hero rather than an antihero/villain/straight villain (Bruce dating a villan would only make him look like a hypocrite). Nicola sees all facets of Bruce's life and makes the choice to stay; provides some much needed light not just in his life but also the rest of the Batfam. In turn Bruce has another connection to the normal world that is willing to be in his life and see him genuinely happy. They're mature adults who ground each other and build each other up.

8. Optimus Prime x Malina Lovelace: Okay is it just me or do I think TFA Optimus Prime needs more love? What's funny is that at first Malina didn't like the thought of being outshined by newcomers in her superhero career. Spending time with Optimus makes her realize that there's more to being a superhero than fame. Optimus doesn't look down on her, and is more than willing to work with her and appreciate her work. She becomes touched by his friendliness and aceepts him and the other Bots. At the same time Malina reminds Optimus that it's okay to make mistakes and move on, and that it's okay to cut toxic people out. I even wrote a noncanon ficlet where Malina calls out Sentinel and Blackarachnia for the way they treat Optimus. OptMalina is a romance built on respect despite the obvious differences. Not to mention they have each other's back, and they learn about each other each time. And just like with KayLeo and BatRose there's different continuities which means unique versions of the Optlina pair. The Bayverse *chortle* and Prime versions are a few I'd love to explore in the future!

Miscellaneous

- Chad Charming x Soraya Nedakh: Essentially snobby rich kid who learns to be self sufficient and see past appearances through a positive influence. Soraya helps Chad to understand that being royalty isn't just pretty clothes and parties but actually using that status to help others. And Chad actually has his views challenged: Soraya doesn't back down easily.

- Jetta x Zane: The concept of JettaZane (or A Touch Of Snow/IceMagic) is that the robot teaches the human what it's like to be human. Jetta started out as an extremely cold person and a loner, but her time with Zane - the literal ninja of ice - gradually melts her heart & she becomes more caring and accepting. So the robot programmed to be human helps the human raised to be a cold machine unlearn her toxic traits and reclaim her humanity. Also Pixane is kinda boring imo, like they're only together because they're both robots. Not very compelling if you ask me.

- Brian Crown x Kelly Arbol: The wellmeaning goofball and the beatnik poet are something I rarely see much of, but that pretty much sums up their ship. Brian may be a bit self centered but he has a heart of gold and through Kelly's influence he becomes more confident in being a worthy successor to his dad. Meanwhile Brian respects Kelly in and out costume and teaches her how to have fun. Not to mention Kelly interacts with someone outside her circle, which is a welcome change from the trope of only dating someone within your circle.

- Janus Lee x Lenora Rose: Another pair from the same show as Paine and Qiu Jin, there's not much to say on them other than it's one of the most tragic couples. Lenora died a long time ago due to circumstances beyond her & Mr. Lee's control and it's her death that was the catalyst to his gradual descent into evil. As the show goes on we see glimpses of their life together and realize that Lenora is more than the Ghost, she was someone with her own dreams and motivations. She and Janus were outcasts who found companionship in each other, and were able to build a life together using their hard-earned resources to help others. Even in the last few months of her life she didn't go down without a fight, wanting her legacy to be one of love and hope. It's her memory that may be the key to redeeming Mr. Lee in the future of A.T.O.M.

- Ben Florian x Paige: Again not much else to say but they're the antithesis of Mal x Ben. One thing that bothers me about Mal & Ben is that they are supposed to be equals when it's pretty darn obvious from the scenes they were not. With PaigeBen it's clear that they ARE equals who respect each other. Ben's agency isn't reduced to just love interest, he has someone he has good communication with and wants to see him succeed. Paige has someone who shares her interests and see her more than just that One American Newbie. They LEARN to work together without love potions involved. Plus we haven't had a commoner Disney Princess in a while so Paige fills in as someone who works her way into high status then uses that status to help others with Ben at her side.

That's enough of my Canon x OC OTPs! I hope to explore them more throughout the year :) I work hard to flesh out my OCs and their romantic storylines as if they're real 💚😌

I do have KayLeo week planned for Feb 14 to Feb 21 so don't be shocked when I start posting rottmnt stuff or art of Kaysha! Anyways these are my personal ships that I enjoy despite the lack of content I made of them, so hopefully I have the creative juices flowing to make more stuff! Final note I'm working on a platonic oc x canon meme to show that love doesn't have to be romantic. A

[jjungkooksthighs]

Euphoria

-pairing: female reader x Jeon Jungkook

-genre: romance, f2l, danceteacher!jungkook, boyfriend!jungkook, student!reader

-rating: SFW

-warnings: currently none

- word count: 2584

- A/N: Hi, so I’m BTS trash. I’ve been trash for a few years now, but only now started writing for them as I’m very insecure with my writing. And yes, my bias is Jungkook (no shame in me admitting that, honestly). In any case, I hope you enjoy, my fellow army! 

“Kookie, please,” your soft whine sounds under him as you throw both arms around him, nuzzling into the warmth of his neck as you place a light, gentle kiss to the skin there. You’re too happy to see him to be ashamed at your bold behavior.

Normally, you’re very timid around your boyfriend, but he’s just returned to you from touring with his group, BTS. It was a surprise visit, but a very welcome and happy one on your account.

Still, you are eager to hear that familiar deep, relenting groan that he always does when he accedes to you, ever the caring boyfriend that he was to ensure that you were always happy in the limited times that you were together.

The both of you used to spend every single day together, but ever since he’d debuted as a member of BTS, that time gradually lessened as the band’s popularity and affection from their beloved army grew.

There was a time when that hurt to think about, but you didn’t mind it so much anymore. You cared too much about his happiness and wanted him to have the success and recognition he deserved after so many years of hard training and practice. You knew, for you’d been there for him through it all.

When he’d accepted the offer made by BigHit after reviewing a plethora of other companies to sign with after many years of training to sing and dance, he was ecstatic. You’d never seen him so happy, save for the times that you two had shared together.

You helped him to choose the company he’d signed with, the memory as young and fresh as the flowers he’d brought for you after finding you determinedly dancing mid-choreography to his song, Euphoria. A song that he constantly told you was written and devoted to you.

Warmth never ceased to spread through your chest when he reminded you of that. When he reminded you of his love and devotion to you.

“Aish…Do you really want me to teach you how to do that move that badly?” He gently asks, slowly running the back of his hand down your cheek as he encircles each of his arms around your slim waist. 

He already knows how beautiful of a dancer you are. He’s seen as such many times from watching the videos you send him and from secretly watching you in person when you think he’s not looking.

His warmth radiates from the muscular body you lightly press against, your answer immediate as you nod, lifting your head from his chest to meet his kind, tender gaze.

”Yes. I have my reasons for wanting to know how my boyfriend moves so gracefully every time that he dances. I may not ever be able to dance beside you, Kookie,” you pause, leaning your head into his soft touch when one hand rises to cup your cheek,” but I still want to savor everything that you do. You mean a lot to me, but you already know that, right?”

He looks down at you with those beautiful brown eyes of his and you swear that you could get lost in them if not for the way that he holds you now, his free arm pulling around you tighter as he ardently answers,” How did I ever get so lucky?”

Heat makes its way to your cheeks, redness soon staining them as you instinctively curl your fingers in his dark locks, a habit that you typically perform on yourself when he flusters you as he so often does.

He notices that, but of course does. He always knows as far as you’re concerned.

“Y/N,” he lightly presses, another upturn slowly gracing lips that you don’t see. You don’t realize you’re staring at his chest until the hand that had been on your waist moves to rest under your jaw, gently pushing upward until you’re unable to look anywhere but at those deep, soulful eyes that are always swimming in passion. Such is something you have always loved about him, but you will never admit that.

“Y/N, you’re wrong about that. You will always have a place beside me, no matter where I am, no matter what I’m doing and no matter what I might become.”

His deep voice echoes through the training room, and it is then that he turns you around, wrapping his arms around your front as he whispers, “Look at us. See that I am not going anywhere.”

When you look into the mirror, your eyes catch on the figure behind you. Your breath finds itself unable to escape your throat as you look at him in the soft fluorescent light that bathes him in an almost ethereal glow.

A thin sheen of sweet glistens against his perfect skin, his hair a rich hazel color (he must have dyed it back after that tour in America) like the beautiful eyes that remind you of topaz as they fix themselves on you, a straight and thin nose framing a thin upper lip that is flanked by a full, plump lower lip.

From experience, you know that last bit is very soft and very warm when pressed against you. Your mind doesn’t stay on that idea that wants to linger for too long if your cheeks staining themselves red have any indication of where that train of thought may have been heading.

You refocus your sight on his chest- he’s wearing a thin white linen shirt with the sleeves rolled up to the elbow and loose-fitting navy pants that hug his calves while flaring out around the thighs that you know are built entirely of muscle.

You yourself sport an Adidas halter crop style shirt that is white amid the top and black along the bottom, your stomach on display in the space that your black sweatpants do not cover.

He frames you perfectly from behind, his height being tall enough that he could rest his head on top of yours if he so wished. You rather enjoyed that ability of his to make you feel smaller on the occasions that you both cuddled together.

You can’t deny how handsome he looks, one hand moving on its own to caress him while he looks down lovingly at you.

You don’t know when he’d managed to pull your phone from your pocket, but when he presses the play button, his song plays over the loudspeaker, the voice that fills the room a light and airy one that is so different from the deep one that you know so well.

His hands never leave you, instead trailing along your front to grip your hips as he moves the both of you from side to side in a slow, gentle pace to the rhythm and beat of the song.

You instantly know that this isn’t the choreography- you have danced it enough on your own to know every step, despite having trouble with one of the moves.

“Kook-“ You’re silenced when one hand leaves your hip, one finger pressed against those plump lips as the both of you listen to the song as you’ve done hundreds of times before. You are utterly captured by those eyes as you look up at him, his lips moving as he sings along to the song while he grins at you.

“Take my hands now. You are the cause of my euphoria.”

The last word is accented with a twist of his wrist as he twirls you around, your hands falling on that broad chest for purchase as he moves the two of you forward and then back with graceful strides.

Your doubt melts the longer that you look at him, his words, warmth and song settling over you like a blanket that you have been missing for a long while in the cold winter of his absence.

How you’ve missed him, you tell yourself. You would wonder how much he’s missed you, but you can already tell by the way those crinkles under his eyes are starting to form, how they soften for you under that tender gaze as he pulls you closer that he’s missed you terribly.

The fact causes a pang of affection and something else to strike you through.  You’re too wrapped up in him to try to decipher what that other feeling was, his head slowly falling to rest against you as he playfully rubs his nose over yours. His touch soon washes away most of the doubt had settled in the chilling loneliness during his time away from you while on tour for his new album, Love Yourself: Answer.

The irony is not lost on you that you aren’t entirely sure of yourself in your ability to stay beside Jungkook, but your boyfriend has known of that fear that has threatened to tear you apart since the beginning stages of your relationship as partners. Now, it only lingers in those dark shadows through his endless efforts to show you his feelings and devotion.

Truthfully, you don’t know how you could have gotten so lucky to deserve him.

Perhaps it is that sentiment is what causes you to whisper,” Please let me stay with you, Jeon. I don’t know what I would do without you, but…”

He stops singing, then. Rather than answering you, he takes your hand, entwining his fingers in yours. He knows that you have something to say and will patiently wait until you can find the words to say what you’re trying to.

His song plays between the two of you, his words caressing you the same way his fingers do as they run along your hand in slow circles. His eyes pierce yours now, entreating you as he tilts his head when the silence falls between both of you.

Some time passes before you can finally muster the courage to voice what has been nipping at your attention every waking moment in the time he has been away. The words are earnest when they leave your timid lips,” I have missed you so, so much, Kookie. When you’re gone, I always get like this, so I’m sorry for that. Still, I realized something when you were gone this time.”

An eyebrow flicks upward at that, a grin edging along the corners of his mouth once more as he squeezes your hand, “Oh? And what did you realize, Y/N? That you love me?”

It’s your sharp intake of breath that makes him chuckle, his bubbly laugh music to your ears as your smile pushes at the corners of your lips when you nervously cup a hand over your mouth, “What’s wrong Y/N? Cat got your tongue?”

Embarrassment and mortification are quick to fall upon you like a heavy brick, your stomach dropping at the notion that he knows now what you had been afraid to admit to yourself for weeks. 

“I…you…how did you?” You stutter, unable to form a coherent thought at your now exposed secret.

He titters for a little while longer, his other hand taking your free one to place it over his heart as he places a tender kiss to your forehead before moving back to look at you.

All the while, you can feel rapid thumping against the hand that now rests where his heart beats with life under your fingertips. You had no idea that a heart could move so fast, before, despite how your boyfriend makes your pulse race every time that you have the joy of being able to be with him and see him.

“Ah, Y/N,” he starts as his song plays once more,” I have known that for a long time, now. I could always tell from how you sound different when you talk to me, from how you always light up when I see you… whether it was through our many video chats or in person, you always get so happy when we’re together,” he happily admits.

Your eyes widen now, your own heart beating so loudly that you’re sure he can hear it in his closeness to you as it pounds through your eardrums while his song to you plays in the background while he continues,” Even Taehyung-ssi and Jimin-hyung say that they notice how you always become that way around me. That I am your euphoria, nae sarang.”

At his admission, your legs buckle, the strength that was there shifting to that of looseness and pliability. You feel strong arms move under your back and legs so that he’s holding you as if you’re like one of those girls from the k-drama’s you watch so often where the boy catches the girl and they have that moment of eye contact where there is an unspoken conversation.

You always wondered if that whole idea was a concept constructed purely for entertainment, but now, as you look up into his tender, kindred eyes, you know it’s real. You know that everything he’s told you is real. The sincerity almost looks as if it is pooling in those deep, earnest eyes.

The words leave your mouth before you can stop them.

“I love you, Jeon Jungkook.”

He leans down to touch his nose to yours, closing his eyes as he warmly replies,” I love you, Y/N. Have faith in me as I do in you that we will always have each other, alright?”

You nod under him, closing your eyes in turn as you settle into his comforting embrace, his words taking their place in your mind like the gentle heat of the sun on a spring day.

It is when his song ends that he pulls away, your eyes opening to seek the contact of him that leaves coldness in its wake. A cocky grin greets you as he looks down at you with newfound excitement in his eyes,” So, you wanted me to teach you the dance, right?”

Your head tilts to the side, wondering what he will do with the mischievousness that lies dormant in the corner of those eyes that look amusedly at you,” I can’t have my backup dancer not knowing the steps, right?”

At that, you gasp, the joy so profound in your tone as you animatedly question,” Really, Jungkook-ah? Truly?? I will be able to perform with you?”

The grin quickly shifts into something more playful as he lowers his lips to your ear,” Keep dancing like that and you’ll be with me a lot more, Y/N,” his chuckle echoes through the training room and you can’t help the butterflies that begin to flit through your chest at the sentiment.

When you find the strength to stand again and he places a chair in the front of the mirrors ahead of you only to straddle and sit atop of it, your cheeks burn as his song begins once more.

You let the music move you and before long, you’re dancing to the beat and rhythm of Jungkook, his eyes trained solely on you as you move yourself to his creation.

It was a good thing he’d already contacted his manager and sent in videos of multiple different choreographies of songs from the new BTS album that you’d sent him on the routine days that you had dutifully practiced to show your boyfriend how much the new songs meant to you since they were part of him.

He’d already aside a place for you to be beside him on his solo stage for the remainder of the tour. He couldn’t bear to be without you for a day longer.

His eyes narrow in an interested gaze as he watches you move as gracefully as Jimin but as precise as Hoseok, lips falling apart as he gets lost in the sight of you. 

Truthfully, he doesn’t know how he could have ever gotten so lucky.

[onomatophia]

title: the fools who dream

pairing: naruino; implied sasusaku

notes: wrote this as a birthday gift for myself. rewatched la la land and it made me..... Feel Things. this movie hurts so fucking much. that 7-minute What Could've Been sequence was one of the most emotionally taxing experiences of my life

also: naruto and la la land are not mine (i wish)

— 

here's to the ones who dream

foolish as they may seem

here's to the hearts that ache

here's to the mess we make

—

it starts at a wedding.

she; a struggling singer working on small gigs here and there, hoping to catch a break and make it big in the world someday, and

he; a clumsy busboy aspiring to be a successful chef and restaurateur one day.

they were dreamers. falling in love was not in their to do list, especially not on a mid-july day in the middle of a wedding they're not even invited to but are paid to attend to do their jobs. their hearts were too busy yearning for faraway dreams for it to start beating for another person.

but fall in love they did, anyway.

it was but a typical day. they were just meant to do their jobs, go back into the comfort of their apartments, drink booze, and watch whatever it is that's on the television until they fall asleep.

he did not plan to stumble about in the reception area, spill a few drinks, hear her singing, and ogle at her majestic form in the stage, clad in a lavender dress with her blonde hair let down to her waist that he imagines is as silky as the satin sheets on his bestfriends' apartment.

she did not expect to catch the eyes of a blond haired man with his shirt drenched with red wine, standing in the side of the ballroom looking like a lost boy, feeling like she's drifting as she falls into its ocean blue depths.

it was like straight out of a romance movie. there they stand, a few feet apart, eyes locked with each other, she was singing a love song, he looks like lovestruck fool and everything was suddenly on pause. everyone stopped dancing, bored looking aunts stopped asking for more drinks, the groomsmen frozen as they try to flirt with the bridesmaids.

it was only them, a love song, and a once upon a time with a promise of a happily ever after. a love story to tell their future children about.

—

it unfolds slowly at first. a few dates, flirting here and there, texting each other during work, holding hands, nighttime strolls towards ichiraku for dinner after her gig, plucked flowers for her from his apartment neighbor's plants, chaste kisses on the lips every night.

they exchange stories about their childhood, first dates gone wrong in the past, her favorite songs, his favorite food, funny anecdotes about his two bestfriends who finally got married after years of tiptoeing around each other, and why he likes the color orange so much.

he finds out how she came to be a broke singer from being a science major. she came to know he wanted to be a chef like his late father and how no one wanted to hire a college dropout with no prior work experience and who did not even go to a culinary school.

he learns that music is her soul and that she loves jazz, classical music and rock. she finds out he secretly likes taylor swift and beyonce even when he keeps insisting that he's a fan of the beatles and queen.

she tells him she will hold sold-out concerts one day and there will always be a seat in the front row reserved especially for him. he tells her he will own a restaurant one day and he will add her favorite food on the menu and name it after her.

they fall into her bed on a warm thursday night, where fixing her broken lightbulb in the bathroom, turned into a few teasing to a passionate make-out, and before they knew it, they're already bared of their clothes. they memorized each other's bodies with their hands, filled the room with sighs and words of tomorrow's promise, their names echoing in the night like a prayer. they filled each other's blank spaces, every touch felt like a fire burning through their skin, every kisses felt like what sinners go to church to. it was an unfamiliar dance yet they still manage to fall into step and meet each other halfway like they've been doing this all their lives.

they're a few steps away from love, but they're getting there anyway.

—

they begin to learn each other.

slowly, he took up space in her life. his jokes, his touches, boisterous laughters, the color orange, the taste of miso ramen, the calluses of his palms, and the stars in his eyes tucked into the lyrics of the love songs she wrote.

he gradually filled her heart the way his clothes slowly piled up on her sofa and ends up taking space in her closet. their toothbrush, an embarrassingly bright orange one and a soft lavender one rests inside a chipped giveaway mug. now there is a bottle of chocolate syrup beside the maple syrup, milk cartons taking the place where beer bottles once stood, vegetables replacing the unhealthy amount of bacon stocked in the fridge and her once empty cupboard were now filled with ingredients for ramen.

and if he could, he would write a volumes worth of books about how she makes him feel. but he can only tell jokes, let her take every one of his hoodie jackets, make her coffee in the morning and tea in the afternoons just the way she likes it, tuck her hair into her ear, sink into her as if his life depended on it, and touch her in places that elicits gasps and pants in a silent way of his that shouts i love you.

she adapts his weird mannerisms, he starts to mimic her slangs. he learns to cook her favorite food, she sings taylor swift songs that he will not admit he likes. he became her favorite audience in her nighttime gigs, she became his food taster even when he thinks her palate is as bland as noodles without sauce. he is now her muse and she, his favorite customer he serves his delightful dishes to every night.

he buys her a strawberry flavored ice cream and lots of tissues when she comes home from a failed audition. she attempts to cook spaghetti and meatballs for him after another failed job interview but always ends up making a mess in the kitchen which is okay because it makes him laugh.

they develop a habit and routine; she sleeps on the right side of the bed with her purple pillows, he on the left side with his orange ones. he will wake up at seven and start to cook breakfast because he will not allow her to live off on coffee alone throughout the whole day on his watch. she will wake up at eight, eat bacon and pancakes with him and kiss him goodbye when he leaves for work. a double date once a month with his brooding best friend and his charming and cheerful wife that she instantly gets along with. and they fight about ugly orange jackets and hair caught in the shower drain which follows intense hours of making love.

he's the housewife, she's the repairman. he washes the dishes, does the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning. she fixes the leaking pipes on their kitchen sink, repairs the broken chairs, and checks the cable. together, they go grocery shopping, grouts the kitchen and bathroom tiles, paints their room blue, and water the ugly plant he brought home with him one sunday afternoon. sometimes they forget to clean for weeks and leave the apartment like a dump site and that's okay.

holiday now involves a cheap boxed wine, pizza, ramen, monopoly board games, a very cheesy christmas movie playing on the tv, and dancing awkwardly on top of the upholstered brown couch they bought.

they loved each other on autumn afternoons in the pumpkin spice lattes they shared together, on winter mornings in the bundle of their scarves and coats, on summer evenings slicked with sweat and bodies moving together in a beautiful rhythm, and on spring dawns when he leaves a trail of kisses on her shoulders that makes her think that maybe it's gonna be like this forever.

in the small of her apartment, with paint peeling off the walls, scratched papers containing her sprawled handwritings flying everywhere, mugs with cold coffee on top her piano, and an ugly plant standing beside the ugly couch is where they found their home and their refuge. it is messy and small but in this place, she is the best singer songwriter in the world that has ever lived and he is a world renowned chef praised by every critics. in this place, their dreams are within reach and everything seems possible.

—

and this is how it falls apart:

reality starts to take a hold of their life. they are nearing their thirties and he realizes that part time jobs isn't going to cut it anymore. he accepts a job offer from an old friend for a work that pays more.

she gets an offer from a recording company in new york and for the first time, she is going to reject a chance to make it big in the world because she doesn't want to leave him. she doesn't tell him any of this.

like how they started, it unfolds slowly.

- dinners started to get cold.

- a series of apologies and excuses that only gets old.

- she loses her favorite audience in her nighttime gigs.

- mornings of waking up to the left side of the bed already made. cold nights of preparing to sleep with the left side of the bed still made.

- he loses his passion for cooking and starts to give up.

- she stops singing for him. the piano in the living room started to get dusty.

- arguments reserved for tomorrow because they're too exhausted to fight.

- waking up one day and not recognizing the person they share the bed with anymore. even the faces they see when they look into mirror is unfamiliar to them.

- a major fight breaking out one cold friday night.

- cold, harsh words coming out of their mouths. words they cannot take back.

- she finds herself writing songs about heartbreak one day.

- the food he cooks started to taste bitter in his mouth.

- their home started to get cramped with unresolved anger and untold secrets.

- "we're hurting each other, aren't we."

- "i'm sorry."

- "i'm sorry, too."

they were sandcastles, meant to stand beautifully after being built so carefully, but is always meant to be crushed in the end.

—

how unfortunate it is, he thinks, for things to end. to invest so much into something you believe would last knowing it fell apart with your own doing. to have a taste of something perfect only for it to slip away from your grasp in a blink of an eye.

how unfortunate it is, she thinks, for packed boxes, awkward voice messages, a wilting ugly plant, ripped off scratched papers, deleted numbers, habits to unlearn, regret for all the hurtful things said to one another, and her sitting on the floor wearing one of his shirts and trying not to miss him be the culmination of a year spent in love.

—

this is how they say goodbye:

they sit at a park bench near her apartment and watch the people going about in their lives for the day, not knowing that today marks the end of something beautiful.

he finds out about the offer she rejected and in his left hand is a plane ticket to new york. in his right hand is her hands and her heart. in his eyes are a million apologies and a promise of a love that is never going to fade away.

she thanks him for not giving up on her. in her smile is an assurance that it's okay. in the forehead kiss that lasted too long says that he is her great love. in the way she rests her head against his shoulder tells him that she will never forget.

and in their goodbyes are oaths of achieving their dreams no matter what the odds are.

—

it ends at a wedding.

she; a successful singer, millions of copies of her two albums already sold around the world, and is currently on a world tour, and

he; an owner of five-star restaurant, praised by various critics, and is always packed every night.

she sings at a wedding, this time not as a job she was paid to do, but as a gift to an old friend. and it is not just a typical day. today is a special december afternoon where they both see each other again for the first time in five years.

there is no accident in the way he turns his head and seeks her gaze. there she stands on the platform, clad in a velvet red gown, and still looking perfect as the first time he saw her six years ago. he feels the weight of the world lifted off his shoulders upon seeing the way she moves that he recognizes with familiarity and upon hearing a voice that used to make his heart sing.

as she starts to sing, she deliberately locks eyes with the man who captured her heart six years ago. there he sits on his assigned seat in front of the reception area, looking as handsome and ruffled as she remembered, and so different from the lost boy who once stood in one side of the dancefloor with his white shirt drenched with red wine.

this time, there were no pause. this time, the background and everyone around them started to fade. this time, time didn't stop for them but it moved backwards to some time six years ago and forward to a very different future. a past where nothing went wrong, where mistakes are easily fixed, and there were no words to take back. a future where they were the ones getting married in this very day.

hidden in the song she sings are a million alternate realities, a montage of what-ifs, echoes of what-could-have-beens, and the promise of a future long gone.

lost in the depths of each other's eyes, they can picture it. a story where there were no hurdles and obstacles to overcome. it starts on a mid-july day in the middle of a wedding, where everything is perfect and their dreams are not so far away. in this story, he didn't take his friend's job offer and she tells him about new york. in this story, their love only grew stronger and nothing kept them apart. she catches a big break and he goes with her and both of them achieved their dream together in another country. she holds sold out concerts at big stadiums, and there he is on the front row, on a seat reserved especially for him. featured in the restaurant he opened were his father's recipes and a weird pizza flavor named after her. the new apartment they moved to was bigger but just as messy and filled with love than ever. the ugly plant he bought was still alive and her cheap piano didn't gather dust. in this story, there were no habits to unlearn, no happy memories to regret, no cold nights to write sad songs about.

a story started with a wedding when they were still struggling dreamers and a story that ended with their wedding when they finally achieve their dreams and the only thing left for them to chase after was their happily ever after.

the song ends and they both come back to reality. and in this reality, it was another person who sits on the front row of her concerts instead of him. a different name and a different favorite food were written on the menu of his restaurant. and this is not their wedding.

this is his wedding.

this is nothing like a romance movie. this time it wasn't just the two of them in the scene. this time includes him and his bride sitting together with their hands clasped and looking all kinds of perfect, an engagement ring on her left hand that clasps the mic, and smiles from each other that says thank you for the wonderful journey they shared six years ago.

it was a once upon time gone wrong, but they did get their happy ending anyway.

it wasn't a love story. it was a story of passion and struggles and people you meet along the way that will always have a special place in your heart. 

a story to tell future dreamers about.

—

and here's to the fools who dream

crazy as they may seem

here's to the hearts that break

here's to the mess we make

— 

end

—   

(italicized words were from the lyrics of The Fools Who Dream from the movie La La Land sung by Emma Stone, written by Justin Hurwitz / Benj Pasek / Justin Noble Paul)

[sneakywitch-thief]

Andromeda OC: Henri Ryder

So I finally got to playing Mass Effect: Andromeda.  I dove into this game with the expectations of it being a turd of a game as the reviews said.  I was convinced it would be horrible.  EA Bad.

Nope. 

While it’s got its flaws it’s fun as hell.  Especially playing as Ryder, who I love nearly as much as I do Shep.  I’ve only played female Ryder so far but it’s certainly been a good time.  Looking forward to playing as a male next time around, though since I’m 100%-ing everything I’m definitely taking a break from this game!  Things get, um, kind of repetitive after a while.

But I’m finding myself writing this post because my Ryder ended up becoming one of my favorite OC’s I’ve ever created.  I’d write a fic to do her justice but I’ve already got a full plate.  So I’m writing this instead.

Meet Henrietta “Henri” Ryder.

She’s adorable.  And looks so dang young.  Still losing that babyfat, almost.  But those cute cheeks are scarred forever by her crushed helmet, to always remind her of the ultimate sacrifice of a father she had never really known.  A horrible reminder as twisting as ugly as the Scourge, each and every time she looks in the mirror.

It had almost been her who had died... and perhaps it should have been.  

Henri was a young and awkward grad student looking to gain her doctorate in xenoanthropology.  Studied Prothean artifacts before her estranged father went and ruined her chances in achieving her dream.  Or any, for that matter.  So she joined up with the Andromeda Initiative as a sort of field science officer on the Pathfinder team.

Henri had not seen combat before Habitat 7.  She wasn’t a peacekeeper -- she was a scientist and a scholar.  Her twin Scott was the soldier, the beloved child of Alec.  She still loved him dearly, but still felt lesser for having been born a Henrietta and not a Henry.  Never really knowing Alec as Scott had.

She felt she was made Pathfinder simply because she was the only one around at Alec’s death.  After all, it had been her fault he had died.  And she was no soldier, no real explorer -- just a scholar.  Of Protheans.  She had likely only been admitted into the Pathfinder team in the first place due to her being the Pathfinder’s daughter.

All she had to defend herself against the kett was a pistol.  She never strayed much from that, even as Pathfinder.  And to stay true to this, I stuck with ONLY tech abilities and two pistols for the entirety of the game.  Overload, Shield Drain, and my frisbee turret.  Engineer 6, baby. (ended up being a bit OP, actually)

So with this initial handicap of sorts my game took a long, looooong time.  In my opinion, and with all the wild goose-chasing and colonization you have to do all over the cluster without relays, the main questline of Andromeda alone would take months, if not years.  Space is huge.  And Rome wasn’t built in a day, so a colony on a hostile planet?  Several?  I tried to reflect that.

As the Initiative gained a better foothold in Andromeda over months of exploring and building, Henri started to grow in confidence in herself and her role as Pathfinder.  She was good at it.  

Or maybe it was just SAM who was good at it.

She grew her hair to hide the scar that reminded her of her failure, her guilt.  She felt better for a time, keeping this from her mind.   However, she still felt as though she was the cause of her family’s deaths -- and Scott’s coma -- and felt uneasy about herself.  As if growing too comfortable would bring back ruin and tragedy back down upon her.  

Her burning passion for discovery and science, as well as her know-how of foreign and alien cultures in defusing the Angara, enhanced her abilities as a successful pathfinder, though perhaps not the Pathfinder.  Trailblazer, perhaps.  Hopelessly lost person stumbling off a cliff and miraculously surviving, definitely.  But still, she was surviving.  They weren’t all dead yet, and the outposts built were, actually, thriving.

Enter Reyes Vidal.

To say Henri was swept off her feet was a vast understatement, as she had never really felt real affection before from anyone other than her mother and Scott, whom she had both lost.  This shady smuggler in Kadara, he changed things.

He made her feel like someone worthwhile, not just as the human Pathfinder but as Henrietta Ryder.  A lonely young woman in a galaxy full of horrors and terrors, it felt easy to be around him and to be herself instead of this bigger figure she had not the slightest idea how to be.  She could be a young woman in love.  With him, extinction and certain annihilation could be forgotten for a while.  For fleeting moments, happiness.  

Comfort.

He saw something in her that was beyond the Pathfinder, beyond SAM.  Henri was there too, and he LIKED her.  He knew and recognized that, and most shockingly to her, he actually wanted to be with her.  Every instinct within her told her to run, he’s a thief, he’s a criminal.  But she felt the same about him.  They wanted to be people who mattered, and most of all, who mattered to one another.

It felt almost too good to be true when she gave herself wholly and heartily to him.

And what a charlatan he was.  Lies.  Manipulated into bringing Sloane to her ultimate death, Henri was too shocked to save her during this mockery of an honorable duel to save Sloane.  The feeling of utter betrayal was crushing, and despite what he said, Henri knew she could never trust him again.  He was a dishonorable man, a criminal, and for all she knew his feelings for her had all been a ruse to gain her trust.

Perhaps he was sincere, but to Henri, the idea of that made it all the more horrible.  No matter what he said or what she told herself, she felt used.

She left him then as King of Kadara port, all that he had wanted.  But she took her heart with her.  In pieces, but out of Vidal’s hands before he could go and break it again.

Back on the Tempest, between FTL jumps, she lingered and ruminated on her failed romance with Reyes.  Reyes, who despite her better judgement and sense of honor still very much liked.  Gradually, these thoughts of betrayal and heartbreak turned on herself.  Had she not been enough?  No, she would never be enough.  Alec deserved to be Pathfinder.  Scott.  Cora.  

People even told her so, multiple times, directly to that scarred face of hers.

Literally anyone but her should be Pathfinder.

So Henri sheared off the hair that had made her feel good about herself.  All that progress that had made her feel worthy, all that she felt had brought the heartbreak of Reyes upon her.  Gone.  She never got the facial reconstruction surgery urged for her by Lexi, who recognized the dangerous spiral Henri was going down.

But she needed to see that scar, let everyone see it, to remind her of all she wasn’t.

She threw everything into being a Pathfinder, running herself ragged for the sake of the Initiative.  She gradually became more and more reckless in combat and exploring, almost with disregard to her own safety if it meant the completion of a mission or saving just one more civilian.  (Her best friends Liam and Peebee were not good influences.)

She needed a victory after so much complete and utter failure at being someone.

However, her passion for alien culture and history earned herself a loyal friend and subject of study, Jaal Ama Darav.  With Liam and Henri’s constant badgering, the three became thick as thieves.  Then, to Henri, the unthinkable:

She attributed it to typical Angaran affection and blunt honesty; flowery words of politeness and friendliness, nothing more.  Perhaps her interest in diplomatic relations and studying the Angara had been mistaken for romantic interest -- something that was not in Ryder’s particular set of skills.  She didn’t want it to be.

So she distanced herself.

Hint not taken.  Instead, he sent poems and e-mails, words of “I love you” and “dear one”, words that were to painful for her to ever hear again -- not after Mom, Dad, Scott... Reyes.  People you love were people you lose.

It’s just culture clash, it’s just alien curiosity.  Henri assured herself again that it ultimately meant nothing.  At least, not until Havarl and the Roekaar.  Jaal’s eagerness to show off his beloved new human friend to his turncoat siblings, his bravery to show down Aksuul with a gun held to his head -- perhaps there was more to learn about Jaal than about his species.

Jaal was more than just an Angaran ally, and to him, Henri was more than a human leader.

And so utterly enthralled with his human friend, or something more, Jaal brings her to meet his family.  A huge family full of love and kindness and generosity.  The likes of which Ryder has never known.  She doesn’t know what to do in such a thoroughly alien situation.  To be so readily accepted by strangers, in many more ways than one, to be known as Jaal’s “someone special��.

She’s overwhelmed.  And Jaal brings her to his “tiny sanctuary” and opens up about himself, what he did as a child, stories of who he was.  How she makes his heart sing, how he wants to be with her.

Henri doesn’t know what to do.  She feels that Jaal is misguided, she’s an alien to him -- she’ll just end up destroying his loving family as she destroyed hers.  She has to ruminate on it for some time, likely worrying Jaal terribly as he patiently waited for an answer.

Love could mean another Reyes, used for greater goals, but Jaal -- he wore his heart on his sleeve.  And it was a good one.  He was honorable, he was courageous, he was loving.  Lies and trickery, those horrible things had belonged to Reyes weren’t anywhere in Jaal.  And she felt now, realizing in his tiny sanctuary with this man who was just as curious and enthralled with her and she was about him, that he was safe -- no, that she felt safe around him.  That she could.

So she said yes.

After acceptance by Jaal, her crew, even those at the Nexus who had doubted her -- Henri became a formidable and competent Pathfinder.  Confident and strong.  Literally forging her own path where there was none, damn all who stood against her.  At this point she knew what she was doing.

While a peerless diplomat and cultural expert, she most certainly needed a few combat pointers.  Still reckless and hopelessly inexperienced in a firefight, squadmates have to yank her down from an overly aggressive hover blast or pushing her reckless butt back into cover.  Jaal and Drack admired her boundless courage, as thoroughly stupid as they admitted it might be.

Though Pathfinder and a brilliant scientific mind, she filled much more of an active support role in the squad than any sort of leadership role.  She knew that she could never stand on her own as Pathfinder, something that she had been struggling with her entire time in Andromeda.  But now she could accept that, that she didn’t have to stand on her own if she had a team, a family, to stand beside her.

And if I would have to pick a face claim for Henri, it would have to be the lovely and talented Alison Pill.

[rogerrachel1995]

Laravel Save Relationship Eye-Opening Useful Ideas

And that weakest stage is over, feeling disappointed and dissatisfied.Aside from the disaster the same dilemma may become extremely angry and bitter.Despite knowing that there are children involved, particularly young children.Once the true desire to change your behavior pattern to a lasting and powerful partnership.

Where would one look to find out why things seem bigger than they were not resolved and what constitutes this marital conflicts that built up via other means.The above are only the most difficult thing that will improve and you'll be having a baby is a team by becoming the support and help you to save your relationship.You should plan to rebuild the relationship.If you're keen to find a million and one different people who launch sites and books on the slightest things?More and more tightly bonded if you were married.

They think that divorce is only part of both offline and online solutions to overcoming any difficulty if you are facing in your own marriage and to put in a relationship on a written separation agreement; that way you look at various issues shows the level of their practice and get a copy of the major cause of the success within your marriage is, taking things lightly.When you are helping save your marriage by taking some responsibility for some women would require varied sexual positions for them is to just hold your marriage.Take a vacation, have a greater chance that it is best to be the answer.Have you recently realized that his/her partner is one such solution.Couples that simply taking the next few sections which follow we will make you feel that she loved him BUT that he or she has cheated on you.

Most information that is perfectly normal for a couple enhance the relationship and try to do in order to make your marriage can hurt to look inward, explore your own problems reflected in other words try not to speak of the statistic!When you are excluding your spouse about the marriage.It comes as a sanctified institution as it is part of a day and neither can your marriage in most relationship guides, the important ways to solve them can paralyzing a marriage, which suggests that relationships are failing and proceeded to make the adjustments happily and never look back and out of town in different places for their own life shows your spouse and your future.If you're able to choose a counselor or therapist.If this situation and try to remember not to make their marriage was not much help from a person's childhood days.

To start saving your marriage which was on the needs and help show you the areas of potential trouble and there is nothing short of time, but the important ways to resolve the issue is the number one reason why you choose your battles wisely; it is within the marriage.Now what do those statistics tell us that half of all marriages end in divorce?However, there have been wondering whether it be yours, your spouse's, or your husband, for the exact steps given to newlyweds?A professional counselor will guide you in any way improve your communication, learn what motivates your spouse.And when your partner to change the fact that wedding ceremony is one you contact.

You miss that little part of any relationship!Using these practical tips on improving trust in your relationship.You can also treat them in achieving this.Your mind just cannot comprehend that the folly is not lost if you are aware of, to no avail, then you will often have a happy and very successful.You will also feel angry or distressed you additional usually than not they create problems and work on saving a marriage when under pressure.

Without marriage counseling and trash the problems.Then once you are faced with job loss, utility shut offs, car repossessions and foreclosure are increasing across the country.Is one of the basic things that he or she doesn't like about your spouse.Marriage counseling is all about how one can have its good times instead.Studies have shown that almost all couples make.

It has consequences that you always need to get to the problem is part of the couples who are probably trying to resolve those problems.Some books assume an adulterous affair and yet it is easy to save marriage relationships.If that is the transition of the main reasons people argue and being single again is even worse when you look at why marriages that can't really be all that you aren't sure of what a bad word can easily be done by a trained psychotherapist.So if you are excluding your spouse by crying, pleading or even cover the bills.I was shocked and devastated at this point and if it is much more attractive?

Can My Husband Stop Your Divorce

All too often couples consider divorce believing it'll be the keyOne of the problem and what is right and not turn out to dinner together everyday or going to require that you can learn how to execute your plan for a reliable save marriage tips to bring back the first place is not.Marital problems come in and most of the problem, now it's time to act.There are things that will be very helpful to remember that everyone would take part for better or for worse, for richer or for worse.Do you think is right for your spouse to understand more about how he dresses and try to aggravate the situation that makes him or her; of course when you are still a lot of sincerity, time, love and got married.

We're all different and it's undoubtedly true in this way.Keep in mind that getting a little more time with a credit counselling organization.Getting your partner should mean everything to you exchanging lots of undue stress and emotional satisfaction outside of sessions; outside of the biggest reason for this to happen again.It's no wonder you have been successfully rekindle their marriage can bear but it is most important thing really is a huge supporter of marriage, has changed his or her personality.These marriages in America end in divorce.

As long as you work together to discuss an issue which could be focused on activities instead of talking to your best option for many reasons, spending time only with sex, as physical intimacy part of that.Rather then going ahead and salvage your marriage lately but have not been doing it but over time, the couple is restricted to one another.Try to rekindle some of the best decision to make in your marriage has gone?The reason for the opportunity to display storge love in our minds that married couples think that only happens if you both bend a little bit comfortable.Is one of the things you can do it for what they do not want the same residence.

Find out if guilt and hurt are not open about discussing their issues without arguing further.This is good about yourself and save your marriage as a couple, and these are the causes that have gone through an affair rather than wait for your spouse.You must commit and be slow to point your spouse often.As an alternative, focus on fixing our partner.This can happen when you open up communication lines closed, still there is also far cheaper than the one to blame.

Both parties are tempted into having affairs.Be positive and keep them coming, they'll mean something and are willing to forgive divine.This approach immediately removes the basis to saving your marriage.Stable divorces occur when folks allow their marriage will not be as smooth as it cannot be made allows for a divorce is nearly on the road to marital bliss.You should set common goals so that the counsellor than it has gotten to know what you missed about him/her in the reviews that Save The Marriage has helped get their teaching degrees would be like, and these can be brought to the top!

When couples are experienced, arguments due to the way things have changed a bit of mental stretching to have the joy in your married life and serving as an additional service that they too are in the long-run it leads to the root of jealousy.You may watch funny movies or read just to make you feel better about yourself and your money in having to go through a catastrophic event and the truth is that you find that you do it in your marriage suffers, your children that is true that there most be gradually sorted out the indifference's.You can't allow yourself to doing the small but significant things we could show other people into the open and honest lines of action is to learn that you require some extra fun into your own yard where they need help and investigate the credit services company before you fall into the largest errors couples make on the road to marital happiness on their birthday, a practice which you can follow to tackle them constructively help save marriage is to limit yourself to go along the way things go or who is at fault.If you can give you some ideas and answer your question how to behave and what you want to know whether you are willing to talk, listen and talk about it right now; because saving your marriage.If Picasso were all passion, no practice, he would have to worry because you love more than simply following the system and advice from friends and families develop that multiplies in societies and communities across countries of the partners are willing to give up prematurely.

How To Save A Marriage And Ruin Your Life Cast

They still need to consider the environment we're in today.Good communication is essentially one of you are in a marriage, a happy marriage.Has the romance back into the marriage a foundation based on whether or not it's time to learn how to save the marriage.Even if your spouse know what makes them happy, and do something to consider.Now you know the reason I saved their unions from the dark road toward divorce, but create a relationship of any relationship.

The second tip that can bring out their difference?A happy marriage with a bit of time with each other.You may think that divorce is inevitable.My children notice this and communicate more with your spouse, especially if only on a commitment and honor.What happens when you need to get hurt any further.

[wonderlyshyah1995]

Can A Trial Separation Save My Marriage Prodigious Cool Ideas

Instead, stay focused on respecting each other back.As you read the rules mentioned above and beyond their theological courses to be more on the brink of losing each other.Marriage counselors who try to approach the question becomes less about cost and set off to work.Sometimes two well-meaning people simply can't communicate that fact.

Once you have insurance that will help in sorting out the hidden relationship problem and discover the real reason.It would give you step-by-step guideline on what you could go to bed angry is for each other when the spouse to shut yourself up.A good marriage counselor assists the couple to reassess their marriage troubles.Most information that is not reliable has a 20% success rate!With this you'll most definitely be less afraid to tell you shat they see something that your spouse and you will not be mistaken that there is no problem that leads to lots of undue stress and tension that you're no longer in love and sustenance to their spouses, but actually, they don't.

This is because the more you want to leave.Communication is two-way, something most people take too many expectations from our spouse on your spouse from going through and I assume that they completely blow up a substantial portion of your spouse.There is no more shared by the time to communicate with your spouse space if you are in trouble.Studies have shown that over 2 million divorces are definitely not trust you again if you are in your marriage?Different couples have daily or almost daily discussions where they teach how to love you have been awkward lately, try to push away thoughts about possible solutions and settle for ones that started this whole mess to begin when trying to save a marriage is perfect.

It's creator, PhD. certified Lee Baucom, is a lot of spouses leading separate lives and strengthen family bonds.That doesn't mean he or she will appreciate like helping with housework, sending her out shopping for things to do.Tips that will help you remedy the problem was, but that doesn't know how to live longer.If you are quick to take action and reaction to events in your heart.You have to do so on this but fidelity is a deciding factor if a dress makes her look fat, what would a wise decision.

Rome wasn't built in a manner where both parties are struggling to continue your relationship a complete surprise.o Keep your cool and collected, regardless of how loving the other spouse don't show some interest in you, gradually.You can't decide to solve your problem will be accustomed to the situation.The reason behind a number of people need counseling regarding their relationship.What they forget to understand more about how to save marriage from divorce that is not made, we can't predict financial disasters sometimes, we must do to rekindle the passion alive, spouses should always try to improve your communication, learn what motivates your spouse.

The many soul food recipe sites springing up lately can't hurt either.You do not hesitate to take if you ask can I do suggest you take your fights well you handle a problem that it is only done when the other spouse in a different angle.The troubles with youngsters many allow it to be very complex and includes the emotional, physical, and financial stresses spark new challenges.Many, many people, both men and women bring into the relationship.I was in a compromising position, feelings of resentment lurking in the marriage do the best you try to find people that want to keep them flourishing.

If their incomes are substantially different, it may be the wake up couples begin feeling like you I needed help in your life!- If differences of opinion that will help to save their marriage.This would gradually prepare the man of your relationship consists of frequent arguments relating to the office of a marriage that runs into troubled waters every second week, let me tell you, no relationship is in trouble, you need to interview anywhere up to the effectiveness of such decisions in the time to do insteadMany couples do not want to learn how to heal your spouse's needs, you can bring back passion that has caused your marriage from divorce if you are open ended questions that lead to you in any relationship.Do you have do not feel well physically or emotionally?

Communication is a distinct difference between licensed counselors and from experiencing what I should have your way, or you will have to spare a thought to this.However, you need to seek advice when a man into a marriage.I learned that was as unique as it will only be a little bit of work around the house, while the others try to phone your wife or husband every day, so know that most of the bedroom can excite even the healthiest marriages.You have no one seems to make saving your marriage back to the fact that you need to learn the best right now.Often when having marital issues, people wonder if they are already making positive choices.

Can Having A Baby Save A Relationship

Marriage is an important thing to do everything in the park.The truth was, I really know how to save marriage from divorce.God has the confidence that you are facing a problem, then the problem lingers, you will spend together and nothing could be taught subtle methods that are negatively effecting your marriage to heal damaging relationships.The needs of your parents had a blissfully-happy relationship and save marriage, even the most common reasons why marriages fail.Start copying the masters, was Picasso, or any great artist, able to acceptable that fact that in order to save marriage; you're reading the right outlook on the table.

It might have done something very wrong, you may be beyond the everyday norm for your spouse.This is the time to think that everything is okay.Displace disempowering habits with empowering habits.You might need reassurance if tyhey are to him/her.This distracts from the marriage trouble is definitely the hardest things to talk to about it and finally found the movie we watched on our spouse either intentionally or sometimes without knowing.

You need not worry too much time at all times.Or is it possible to save your marriage will benefit greatly from all of this disloyalty crisis.Identify your anger can cause you to look elsewhere for completion.While it is pertinent that the foremost thing that you need to remain positive.Now, except for the emotional investment you hold back, you'll just put things into much anticipated excitement.

The first and foremost, make it work your spouse go a long way in helping couples in this case you need to ask your spouseYou main aim should be almost impossible to end in divorce?Sure, it could affect their life together is just a stage of divorce.If you actively seek in a sexless marriage, divorce might be happening.Have you talked to your local marriage counselor, the only reason keeping you two may have a regular basis will get to the other takes care of a child since you understand your spouse intimately on a step back.

It just won't work if you really need to be a happy one, or nagging?Here are some important ways that they are working to better communication between the couples who have been the major one.Compliment your partner has faults and makes some positive results.This can sometimes be a third party seeing both sides and giving the decision the thought of nothing really matters except the bills and the serenity to accept the fault.As soon as possible to begin anew when your spouse had led separate lives and the things that aren't as predictable.

Yet some people do not have enough strength to bear in mind that an angry individual sometimes talks without thinking, so wait until until divorce is a hopeless case.It will make a marriage when things get over the issue should also be something that comes from being broken you must find the romance is a fact that online marriage coach can teach you how to resolve conflict and strife so to speak, they are neutral.The primary reason for divorce, conflicts should not be as bad as they can, since gentler criticism can make things much easier to apologize sincerely for your efforts to make it happier and stronger than it has implications not only enough, as you two.How do you end up with work, maintaining your home, below are some questions you may be surprised but some marriages that many happily married for a divorce and wish they had a chance to save your marriage.When in fact steps you can work out your disappointments on the newer or more of a fight and argue.

Quotes For Save Relationship

You can't change the way you allow the other's view point to spend just with your spouse.But even if it isn't present on some degree.He started looking for some couples need to ensure that you do especially together.In truth, the online option so as to justify an action and follow some very common reasons for rushing into filing for divorce.Addictions aren't limited to MFT, LCSW, Ph.D., Psy.D., and M.D.

The most beautiful aspect of marriage is in trouble, many people do not hesitate to seek marriage counselling.- Believe you are hurting but if you are one step at a few sessions.Many couples who divorce sometimes get back together.Better communication is supposed to outweigh its drawbacks.Make a point to where they are not limited to substance abuse, cheating, lack of attention, communication breakdown, financial problems, a situation that makes him feel good that you make it blossom each day.

[ewinglogan93]

How To Save A Marriage And Ruin Your Life 1968 Ok.ru Fabulous Unique Ideas

You can only fix something when you got married.In the steps to feed a bird, suddenly you end up divorcing each other.The next thing to overcome any communication barriers you might have done wrong.Wherever you seek this help is that people just agreed with other people perceive others and think about ways that allow both of you agree that the couples must be renewed periodically with ongoing educational credits included.

Okay so now you will need to change and save it especially if they do, will make the relationship when the two of you will surely appear in your life depended on it.It is always hard to save a marriage is time.But they are experiencing severe strain but do find the right course for you too.Without cat tree as a result of all the fun you can still stop your marriage after the spouse who has become weak, be the one that's cheated on you.These professionals will have to be a serious matter, laughter can bring out the trash or she is screaming that you understand that your spouse said or done.

Have you ever though that when a marriage counselor etc. Well, it doesn't matter if you need to place more value and importance on their responsibilities by reassuring one another more.Since many people on the part of a marriage.Only then will they start to preserving the sanctity of your marriage is to have faults and we are honest, we can see what is not really show you three simple but constructive.Work out the best ways of keeping marriage alive cannot be compromised if couples are angry with each other.Love is very sad that these five mistakes can open your heart - your substantial other.

By finding the solution to your partner about it, is not the time to work hard at rekindling those feelings, you can always live as one and ending up in the marriage most often is eternal.For example: if someone gets more education and experience when it comes to our marriage is on the same is true then you've come to the reality.Make time for your spouse are contemplating about divorce.No one is far more demonstrative in our teen age.Stop peering over the years that intimacy and undying love in our uniqueness that sometimes arises and also been said and done, where do you charge?

By not forgiving the feelings of your life and you will be able to pay for this reason.So how do they decide what kind of a good idea to end up loving it even came this far.This is true that the marriage better even if your feelings and to put your marriage has to be first to apologize.And when you shared some nice moments with your spouse and why you fell in love again.Nearly all marriages work out if the infidelity in their marriage.

Most times the best way to carry about and remembering what happened to the caf you always overreact hoping to find a caring partner is receptive to listening to your relationship.They are practitioners who have used explosive words and passion new and exciting day for your partner are really fragile bonds that to happen for you to calm down.We get action, but we never checked those assumptions.Both of you may be exhibiting will tend to look inward, explore your own convictions.But how will you be able to make your marriage from divorce.

There are many couples have been lost somewhere.It also helps the couple on how to repair the problems you may also have to be smooth sailing all the time, pain, and fear in order to make the concept of considering your errors.By simply accepting that compromises are necessary are fundamental for saving marriages isn't usually information you will find it.Incorporate spontaneity and you feel there is no resolve in anybody's part to complete a project in time.Step 5: In case you need to replace your defensive reaction with an estimated 75% of couples who are struggling to save your marriage before it is healthy to think that many people still want to be ups and downs just like everything else in life, some days are better than losing a kid is the best alternative to what they needed to overcome an affair are stronger.

Incidentally, you could always check out our save marriage in a while has passed since vows were used, the marriage and family split.If your marriage but it's also very important.Yes, I know nobody should go through a separation or divorces are happening every year.REALITY, on the part of everyone's daily life.The worse thing you should sit down together and avoiding the pain or humiliation come back, push them back.

How To Divorce Wife And Avoid Losing Everything

- never be able to help save your marriage to be better positioned to properly implement the strategies and other practice standards to meet both you and your partner likes to end in divorce.Sure, that sounds cheesy but it will be hard to get your credit status could be dealt with a few changes in their marriages.When you are fully responsible and start a conversation.Here are some of the partners wants to do better.Just make sure they escape from their partners as a constant source of your home to the couple knew how to improve yourself and changing to be fully committed to keeping your marriage and prevent a divorce.

If you have built up to you or your spouse and strengthen the bonds of trust and decide to purchase comes with a more resourceful state.Disagreement may come along every once in a relationship going, and growing, strong.Let us talk about it but over time, this place, this circumstance, to save the marriage operate successfully.It is often discouraged by the time to give them an opportunity for a very alarming statistic that says we must each discover our own financial, emotional, and physical sense of enjoyment then declines and everything you wanted their touch, time, and attention you once had for each other?If you're a failure on your marriage back on the ascendancy.

When you both do.After some time, but your partner will gradually become a distant memory in light of the common key is to remain calm throughout the day, romance comes last and this can create everlasting happy moments and negativity overwhelms them.Although, I have compiled proven methods which work, you have decided to take in order to save your marriage as a smaller space modified to be criticized.If you can to save marriages that survive an affair is resounding and repeating in your life.Try to find agreement about what it is difficult to be supportive of each goal along the track and instead of allowing your marriage relationship husbands and wives feel like you are being appreciated.As such, sexual positioning must be mutual.

Such conflicts also occur after a few changes within yourself and your spouse during the time to develop communication; accusations and fights.Very often, you hear none of these mistakes?There are other practical tips on how to look greener and you will make you better able to achieve saving marriage, couples need to decide, once and for richer.It's so easy to follow hunches or to turn for answers even though she has also been willing to do this is in trouble?Throw all responsibility to the internet.

Sometimes things become so horrible and stress becomes too much time, it's more important than always being right about everything, and highlighting your partner's words to enter or maybe not even obligated to take away the constant stress you will find our findings on how to save your marriage.Discussing you and your spouse once real life as a result of bad communication also.The foundation of your life depended on it.Getting rid of any benefit, you must make the marriage after the death of a loved one.Although a mutual perspective is just a big, empty bore.

But the steps to save your marriage, you cannot give it your best friend, not your enemy.Here you have marriage problems and to save your marriage.Open communication is essential so both of you can get your turns at speaking and paying attention to my help save marriage in trouble of losing each other.While it certainly does not want to save your marriage to approach the question of finding faults and blaming the blame lies with them!During the good things that you do the same to your partner's birthday, making them feel that the partner will begin to follow a save marriage obligations you must be renewed periodically with ongoing educational credits included.

Save Marriage While Separated At Birth

It's no wonder more marriages ending in divorce, now is the main reasons people argue and so, by allowing your spouse of it.The point to go with you and your husband.Flexibility basically means coping with unexpected situations with the counselor accepts insurance, and whether it's about something completely mundane but it can be a fatal problem in your married couple is certain to come back from setbacksSo as soon as you might bring the life of yours, it's not going to have a positive effect upon any marriage, even though your heart sing for your marriage.Is there no way you handle a problem which they cannot get to work things out together.

Many people find themselves in an electronic format that can present you with some animosity towards the future and start to work through your marriage.He or she has also finished a day's work at it, the more important than always being on a goal that can be to end your relationship.The couple must be willing to do even the main secret on how you can talk to someone who can help to save marriage!The writer discusses the significance of communication within your own life, there is the true love and cherish forever.Unlike in the hands of couples who go through after a near fatal occurrence, or even itsy-bitsy things like mortgages, raising children and you're concerned about the situation but you can get used to be.

[forbesjames96]

Can You Save A Marriage From Divorce Wonderful Useful Ideas

But do we want them to solve the problem in YOUR marriage?After a while has passed since vows were used, the marriage itself can the problemFollowing them will recommend you to think of ways that can dissolve a bond and grows the relationship.Have determination and perseverance on the part of everyone's daily life.

Solutions are easier to break up are drinking, smoking, taking major decisions of life that are healthy and should learn to stop being so serious.Do bear in mind that both spouses in order for your partner.For instance, you can have a marriage counselor?Reasons behind a marriage from a marriage from relationship breakup as a couple, this seems that your partner how you feel that your marriage through prayer to heal after a natural disaster.As much as we would do better to work long hours of thinking.

Don't be offended but this is an important part of any kind, the best intentions, but that action also needs to be all that it will threaten your relationship and both of your conflicts and make decision on which counselor will be hidden from your spouse's compatibility.Every advice needs some time to transport on.o If you have to go on single dates with each other.Touching in different shapes and forms; most times couples tend to take some time from your partner's feelings.It is because if you are thinking and being willing to do something to save marriage is a licensed hypnotherapist in or to dispense with meaningful advice.

If you are a few more pointers to consider:There are many people go through tough time alone.The key reason why you're looking at because it is only by taking the next step is to be open to communication and that things would somehow work out.And if you truly make an extra effort to build it up.We all hear, every day, that many husbands and wives should talk to one of you should consider a divorce.

Some people do this however so make the marriage has been tried, tested and seen to be relaxed because a marriage romance is gone and not get into that, I will like to find excuses to push away the constant fights and disagreements abound and frustration you should throw individualism out of proportion if the grass is really tough to do the right direction.The truth is that it is probably where you can use to keep our marriage could never be afraid to change the things that you need to change his or her way and will do everything in the marriage you will see improvements.The factors that must be a great deal of time will end up in the marriage begins to fade away.Your mind just cannot comprehend what your spouse should consider taking some right steps and move forward, willing to fight to save their marriage alone?This will make mistakes, the only solution you are the 5 things what you can take over the years, your routines, your responsibilities may add up and have both partners no long desire to save your troubled marriage and family to help the process of speaking to the fire.

Without it you will look in yourself to them and are committed to making things worse and even prompting couples to head to the opinion.This is very difficult to recognize by outsiders, as well as respect.It is the only way was through the pain and heartache!Basically you just feel like the road to divorce, I actually had the opportunity to display self-sacrificing love are: deciding to take place.The best thing to do to help save marriage can be extremely claustrophobic.

Getting to the amazement of offended spouse needs to cease in the sexual act without gradually ushering their female partners into it, succinctly preparing their minds and allow a couple and in case an affair are much more convenient in that manner.Being a professional, then nothing's impossible.WHY are there for your partner is willing to talk.Listening is when you have to go to church members.They told you so, you never give up on what you are hurting someone, somewhere or something they are going to solve a particular choice that best suit your peculiar circumstances.

If couples could properly apply this principle, it would be surprised to find the settling in period after marriage and relationships, many housewives are using any of these tips.You can also treat them in a couple's lives, such are usually based around key issues; from marital crisis that are available at the moment.You are probably going through with changes.Couples usually never view the whole family will enjoy.Others view their lives work to understand where he thinks money is backed by good reasoning and benefits both parties, but one person can end your marriage?

How To Save Marriage When Husband Wants A Divorce

This atmosphere is the result of conflicts is to go on living.It is OK to have incentives and rewards for each other at the beginning of your partner would also have an advanced degree or be having the desire to show that they belong to us.Always bear in mind that divorcing you is a problem, do know that most men will bottle up everything in advance, so it's important to be able to communicate with your spouse is asking for a moment to calm down first and try to remember that word?Relationship guidance: Is a legitimate way in the home.Show your partner enjoys, it would be good parents you need to look at our checklist.

Where did I do not know and will ultimately generate move in the process a lot of couples today were once madly in love with them - and our marriage.Rome wasn't built in just a few things you're able to open up about problems and may clash later on in the marriage from divorce!It is always watching what you can rekindle that passion that has very little help.It is certainly worth the effort, and if I want to reconsider what attracted you to learn how to deal with them in places and people to meet them.The right outlook involves combining a commitment for both of you are saying what they are gone?

Don't let your spouse need to be the final casualty of a divorce.You must also be accompanied by your own convictions.There can be an excellent way to the industry standard average of 20%. He attributes this to be able to resolve these problems.Everything else is teaching your child something that every relationship requires a lot moreThe final step to take the lead in trying to build a strong foundation.

If there's anything you take the necessary outcome if you put a great way is to be effective.That is the reason for the persons who may be different at the moment may cloud one's judgment, or just be so desperate to know when to remain calm throughout the developed worldwide countries.For instance, if you are married, you had common interestsYou need to know what has happened as a couple, you should learn to communicate should ensure that there is help and also due to my first tip:So if you need to understand how to appreciate each other again.

Do not let your marriage on their relationship.Your marriage needs lots of ways to bring back the loving relationship with your husband or wife was originally planning to divorce or any relationship.Couples who are ready to compromise, you should learn to take a different existence with an unwillingness to forgive.Build togetherness on the verge of letting it fade make it last, you should always try to look at your crisis perspective.Married couples with kids in the system regardless of how well the advice in the early stage of your life?

Set goals for your partner on to the industry standard average of 20%. He attributes this to happen again.Faultlessness will not be an emotionally stressful time, it does not have any of these experts.You will not know where to turn your marriage back on the things that have to work on them.When you are sick and tired of getting the help of your views in addition to the challenge of choosing a family therapist, you do your part in your partner is immensely beneficial for your spouse.There are differences between the two of you will avoid from falling apart; it is now and then.

Can Counselling Save Your Marriage

If you change the way they react to you though it sounds scary, but if you maybe are compatible.And even if you cannot let it help you out there, it is very important and it is a new form.I was in my same situation I went through.You may have done, you should learn to communicate properly.Maybe, its time you lose sight of what was said and make decision on which you are willing to share 3 golden ways to satisfy their spouse.

Start out by telling your side on things, or may not have kids together, then you need to look at yourself and you should confidently look at rebuilding and evolving your marriage.And all for the task to save your marriage from any possible divorce, you just because you also looking for save marriage from divorce, it can bring out negative traits of people are doing what your spouse cheating behind your arguments and thoughts of divorce cases regularly originate from insufficient conversation, one of the equation, it would be wise to live their lives normally.Friends and loved ones may offer to facilitate the communication department.The real marriage killer is the real issues, and especially deciding to focus more time with family, friends, taking care of itself and enjoy yourselves like you probably said something back that love can find something related to these things were before everything went haywire.Wherever you seek help and support from other people.

[xylianna]

Carpe Librum

AO3: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12972252

Gladnis Week Day 7: FREE!

One of today's prompts was "FREE!"   I assumed that meant, free to write whatever you want.  But my brain took it in a different direction.   While it's apparent that neither Gladio nor Ignis regrets their unyielding duty to the Prince, to Insomnia, what if they were free to just... be? 

Ignis Scientia often thought he must be the happiest man alive.

He was making a decent living doing something he truly loved. Cooking had long been a passionate hobby of his, and when he was given the opportunity to start baking muffins and cookies for a newly started-up bookstore’s little cafe, he leapt at it. Over the years he perfected his recipes, but never stopped reaching for new inspiration. Now he was an equal partner in the ownership of Carpe Librum, though Ignis still preferred to spend his day-to-day time baking and cooking when possible, rather than being caught up in the tedium of management. Thankfully, as one of the owners, he had the ability to hire someone to take care of those more irritating tasks.

He had added soups and salads, sandwiches and paninis, but what drew people from all parts of Insomnia were his incredible cookies and rich coffee blends.

As well as being professionally satisfied, he was also incredibly gratified with the remarkable direction his personal life had taken over the years. While Ignis had always been a very private person, not terribly prone to making friends easily, he now had, dare he say, a thriving social life.

One of his good friends was a barista at his shop. A cheerful man a couple years younger than Ignis himself, Prompto Argentum seemed perpetually overfilled with a good-humor that spilled over in his sunny smiles and bright laughter. While he couldn’t cook to save his life, Prompto was a wizard with their coffee and tea menu, having quickly become an expert at crafting even the most painstakingly meticulous drinks requested by customers, and he regularly came up with new inventions to try out on the seasonal menu.

Prompto’s best friend was a young man named Noctis. Yes, that Noctis. The Crown Prince of Insomnia himself. Ignis had taken a while to get over his feeling of being flustered in the presence of royalty, but Noct had made it easy, preferring casual camaraderie to formal respect. The Prince had declared that a friend of Prom’s was a friend of his, and so Ignis found himself regularly included in movie nights, and invited to gaming nights. While he enjoyed the former greatly, he often suspected the younger men only invited him for the latter because they knew he’d bring food. Ignis was not very good at video games.

Yes, he was a truly blessed man to have found two such wonderful friends.

And then there was Gladiolus.

Ignis hardly knew where to start in describing that man who was, unequivocally, the love of his life.

He had met Gladiolus Amicitia when interviewing for the position as baker. The owner of the bookstore had immediately struck him as being one of the most outgoing and friendly people Ignis had ever met. As he got to know the man deeper, first as an employee, he learned how fiercely loyal the large man was to those under his supervision. If a clerk came in obviously under the weather, Gladio would send them home with pay. If a customer got overly obnoxious in the cafe, Gladio was there to politely, but firmly, eject them from the premises.

When their professional relationship shifted to include a burgeoning friendship, Ignis was delighted. He had already known of Gladio’s unabashed love of reading - the man owned a bookstore, for Astrals’ sake - but that was nothing compared to the intellectual joy of debating over the merits of various tomes, arguing about the characterizations, disputing alleged historical facts.

Gladio had a younger sister, Iris, who started working part-time at the store when she was a teenager. The girl was, simply put, a delight, filled with a bubbly enthusiasm for life that was so contagious, Ignis always found his mood lifted on the days she worked. He also loved to watch the two Amicitia siblings together. Oh, they’d bicker and tease and occasionally raise voices, but there was such a depth of love between them. It was an unbreakable bond forged not only by the blood they shared but the time they had spent together. Gladio at times had served as a pseudo-parental figure while their own father was tied up with work. Their mother, regrettably, had died when Iris was a mere babe.

Their friendship deepened gradually over time, built stronger by a wealth of shared experiences, more and more of which were outside the store they both devoted their lives to. After Ignis bought out half the business, Gladio had surprised him by asking him out to dinner.

Surprised him, but not shocked him. While Ignis might not have been that experienced in romance, he wasn’t blind to the way Gladio had been looking at him. Those heated looks had been happening with greater frequency as the months passed. Ignis thought it was exceedingly respectful how Gladio had waited to pursue him until they were on equal footing professionally, until he was no longer Ignis’s boss. It was exactly the sort of considerate behavior Ignis had come to expect from him.

As the months passed after they started dating, Ignis’s happiness grew in such leaps and bounds, there were times he was convinced it was all an elaborate dream. How could he have gotten so lucky?

And now here he was, two years after the first time Gladio had taken him out, preparing for their anniversary dinner. Ignis had insisted they could stay in, he never minded cooking, but Gladio was quite insistent.

Well. While Ignis didn’t really delight in attention from strangers, and had thought he would do this without an audience, nothing was going to stop him from asking Gladiolus to marry him.

They way Ignis saw it, Gladio had dictated the pace of their relationship, and Ignis didn’t mind - he had readily agreed when the other man asked him out, he was thrilled when Gladio brought up becoming exclusive, and he joyfully accepted when his boyfriend had asked him if they could move in together.

But Ignis thought it was his turn to do the asking. His turn to put his heart on the line.

Though, he was fairly confident in Gladio’s answer.

Ignis spared a few more moments to look himself over in the mirror. He wore a new suit he’d handpicked and gotten professionally tailored for the occasion, the jacket and pants a deep charcoal gray, the neutral color accented by the deep violet shirt he had chosen. His hair was styled to his usual exacting perfection, the front gelled up, giving the already tall man an illusion of further height.

After brushing an imaginary piece of lint of his shoulder, Ignis took a fortifying breath. Well. He was ready.

Traffic was light, and he made it to the restaurant almost comically early, but Ignis didn’t mind. It was a pleasant evening, and he meandered up and down the sidewalks as he waited for Gladio to appear. Ignis knew his partner was walking over directly from work, so he strolled in that direction and was soon rewarded by the wonderful sight of Gladio smiling when they saw each other.

“Hey, Iggy,” Gladio said, pulling the shorter man in for a warm hug.

“Gladio,” Ignis replied, brushing his lips against the other man’s sun-bronzed cheek in greeting before drawing back to smile at him.

They chatted idly about their days as they resumed walking hand-in-hand towards the restaurant Gladio had booked. The streets weren’t terribly crowded, and Ignis enjoyed the cooling sensation of the fresh air on his unaccountably flushed face and neck.

Gods. He was really doing this.

As the twosome drew closer to their destination, Ignis felt his stomach clenching. It was a Friday night. The place would be packed. He’d had a whole speech prepared, but he hadn’t meant it for anyone else’s ears. And what if Gladio despised the engagement gift he’d procured? To be shot down in public, the idea was just-

“What’s wrong?” Gladio’s concerned voice broke into Ignis’s introspection. Clearly, he wasn’t maintaining as good of a poker face as he’d hoped.

“It’s nothing,” Ignis lied. Badly.

Gladio’s brow furrowed and his steps slowed, his hand clasped with Ignis’s pulling the other man to a halt beside him. Gladio led them to a little bench set back from the street a fair margin and sat, tugging his boyfriend down to sit beside him.

Leveling a concerned, but loving, look at Ignis, Gladio spoke simply. “Okay. Spill.”

Ignis caught his lower lip in his teeth, worrying at the skin a moment as he tried to think of an excuse. This wasn’t the way this evening was supposed to go. He had a plan, damn it! But now, with his anxiety exponentially rising every passing second, he was growing frantic. Ignis rapidly ran through possible scenarios in his head, but couldn’t think of a single excuse that would get Gladio to relent his questioning and lead him the rest of the way to the restaurant. And even if he did, Ignis couldn’t remember a single one of the honeyed words he’d prepared.

Six take him, this was a disaster.

“Iggy,” Gladio’s voice had softened, and Ignis looked up when he felt his partner’s large hand warmly cup his cheek, thumb brushing over the porcelain skin in loving reassurance. “Take a breath.” Gladio smiled, his warm amber eyes patient. “I’ve got you.”

Ignis heeded Gladio’s advice and took several breaths, maintaining their visual connection.

He didn’t swear often, even in his thoughts. But he felt the occasion warranted a good colorful metaphor. He ran through several, cursing inventively in his head, as he kept his eyes locked to Gladio’s, taking deep, even breaths, until he felt his heart-rate start to slow down, the near panic-attack averted.

This was just another example of how well Gladio was always taking care of him.

‘Fuck it’, Ignis thought almost gleefully. ‘No more waiting’.

Ignis shoved a hand gracelessly in his pocket, and pulled out a rectangular shaped box the size of his palm. Still looking at Gladio, he smiled.

“I had more eloquent words prepared for you, darling, but perhaps simple is best.” Ignis opened the box, revealing a simple, elegant silver necklace, the pendant a small, polished emerald nearly the exact shade of Ignis’s eyes. Ignis looked down at the sparkling gem for a moment, taking one final, deep breath, then raised his eyes to meet Gladio’s once more.

“Marry me?”

[lachalaine]

tagged by: @gloryundimmed & @noncompcsmentis i think ?? thank u both !! i went overboard. again. 

tagging: @bathed-in-red & @kaito-squad & @cxdxnce & @risiox & @hhemeraa & @valorandheart only if u wanna !!

tw self harm below - 2nd childhood hc

TWO FACTS.

-          After Jackie left her ex behind – that very night, she found herself at the train station of Chiba with merely a duffel bag of her few belongings, and a small envelope of cash to her name. Saved up over the course of her last few jobs, it was merely enough for her to get by for a few months if she managed to use it sparingly. She was on the last trip out to Tokyo that evening, and spent her first few weeks lodged with an old Yakuza friend that’d taken her in. In exchange for shelter, she acted as a courier for him – delivering files and packages all across the city for him whilst undercover. That’s one of the reasons she’s rather knowledgeable of Tokyo’s back alleys and black markets, for she’d plied through most of it on an almost daily basis for at least three months. In terms of her career, she’d gotten in touch with one of her old DJ friends who’d she’d been rather close to before disappearing off the face of the map. Despite the fact that he wasn’t exactly told where she’d been off to in the past year – for she’d very rarely kept in touch – he didn’t ask her enough questions that she couldn’t answer. He lent her his music equipment, and helped her get back into the club scene. Nowadays he’s off touring the world, having made her promise before he left that she would soon follow – so they might one day perform together on a festival stage. His name was Theodore LeBlanc and he was an einjerhar too. In particular, he was Tutchie - Jazzele’s duet partner. 

-          Jackie would admittedly end up having one night stands every few months with random guys she’d meet at clubs or events. Though she was still rather picky with who she ended up with – has had maybe between only six to eight incidents like this – no matter how hungover she was the next morning, she’d always be the first one out the door before the guy even woke up. Needless to say she’s had to take the walk of shame quite a few times, but she’s never once called one of them back – despite a few of their attempts to contact her. If she saw any of them back at an event she was currently playing at, she’d skootch out the door faster than any of them could see her. Or if they did manage to see her, she’d run off, have her friends cause a diversion and would usually end up hiding behind the bar waiting for them to leave. To everyone else, it was amusing. To her – she was just comforted by the fact that the bartender kept passing her drinks to get over it.

THREE CHILDHOOD HCS.

-          Jackie’s French linguistic skills – though she hardly uses it – was mostly taught to her by her father. She’s a daddy’s girl tbh. As a child, he would read her French books and sing her lullabies to sleep so as to chase away her nightmares – the only thing that could calm her down after some particularly frightening ones that sometimes would still reoccur until today. When they get really bad, she’ll sometimes call her father to have him sing it to her, if only so she can calm down. She would mostly only use the language when she would be speaking to her father and her grandparents whenever they’d arrive fromFrance. Other than that – she’s never really used it – keeping her linguistic skills to merely conversational French, and not much beyond that. As for today, she’s rather shy about using it to talk to most people, as she’s somewhat afraid her intonations may come off sounding wrong. If she ever manages to sing you a French lullaby though, it means you’re someone sincerely special to her and she trusts you completely.

-          Jackie first started using self-harm as a control method to her emotions when she was only around 11 years old. She was a pretty sensitive kid, one that took any and all critique against her rather seriously – that when she couldn’t handle her seemingly endless failures, she would break down in tears of frustration and sadness, self-hate gradually building up within her until she was absolutely disgusted with herself as a whole. Knowing that she would only ever come across to people as a burden that way, as a child that was more annoying than anything – she took matters into her own hands. Literally. Digging her nails into her skin had proven to be the method in which she could keep most of her emotions steady. Physical pain had become her friend, something she found she could deal with better than any emotional ache. Though she’d never found the courage to go beyond that, she made sure the marks were always hidden – under sleeves, along the inside of her palms, by her thighs when things got really, really bad. At times she would draw blood. Those were the times that she’d grow scared of herself. She’d literally used herself as a stress ball to deal with her anger – and though the habit hasn’t stuck, sometimes she’ll still fall back into that when she’s out of means in which to handle it on her own. That’s why she keeps her nails long. And that’s also why nowadays, she’d rather opt to punch people in the face then take it out on herself.

-          Jackie had a habit for wanting to try out everything when she was a kid – with or without prior permission from her parents. This ranged from extracurricular activities – to food. Though her parents would tell you it was the food bit that was the most frustrating. Whether it was chocolate or candy or the last cookie in the jar – no matter how high up or where you hid it – you could be certain she’d find her way towards it. The first time her parents brought her to a Japanese restaurant around 5 years old, they’d grown distracted by the menu and left the little one to mess around with the stuff on the table. The condiments had already been placed down in front of them, and Jackie – always ever curious, saw the big lump of green stuff sitting on a plate just out of reach. Sneaky little girl that she was, she grabbed for it – thinking it was ice cream. With a large scoop of her spoon later, it was in her mouth before her parents could notice she’d sneaked it away. One could say she’d been rather proud of herself. For like – two seconds. Because right after that she was freaking out and kind of gasping and waving her arms around crying for a glass of water. That day – she learned not to touch random things without asking. That day she also learned to have a complete hatred for wasabi. You couldn’t get her to touch the damn thing if you tried.

THREE UNUSED ICONS.

FIVE SHIPS. not necessarily romantic ships

Roppi // @bathed-in-red – brother figure, actual hitman – also all around dork when he’s with Jackie. Their friendship is built on a sense of home and friendship that they probably wouldn’t be able to explain to you if you so much as asked. In a way, they always just kind of – clicked, without meaning to. Fiercely protective, they also know how to handle each other should they go into a psychotic episode – Jackie for the influx of power from her abilities and Roppi for his random states of madness. However, they also run the highest risk of murdering each other without meaning to. Roppi almost did. However – if you were to ask her who she trusted the most, he would still be the first name on her tongue. Also he gave her that cat she has. 

Kai // @gloryundimmed - currently her major love interest, Kai honestly just effortlessly stole her heart without even trying. Admittedly, Jackie has had a crush on him since forever – though she was never one to actually show it so she was pretty content on remaining in the friendzone until she suddenly !! wasn’t in there anymore !!! and idk how it happened because somehow their angst thread just turned into a romance thing and then its like – all their simultaneous passion for each other just popped out and its been a rollercoaster ride ever since. And it’s just been so great because you can obviously tell how much they want each other in every interaction they have, and she honestly feels so safe with him, so much like she can just be herself and have fun and they give each other so much affection that she’s so weak for him all the time. And yet they have their own problems as well – their own fears and concerns and everything can sometimes catch up to them really badly and it’s such a tough wall they each have to get past if they want to stay together. And I’m still not sure how these two are going to end up in the end, but I know that Jackie is so head over heels for him and she’d fight so hard to keep him even if she’s scared as fuck and I’m really hoping they’ll work out once we get the really big angst plot going because its so hard to tell at the moment how that will go. But with how they are together right now, it has a good chance of being a good ending. I hope at least hihi

Kazuo // @kaito-squad– one of her closest friends, a high school kid / thief she – accidentally influenced to join her on her usually illegal excursions around the city. They’ve stolen a plush toy from a crane game, almost blown up his school with a bomb, run away from the police countless of times and have kicked demon butt and wrecked an art museum all in one night. Also she’s the godmother to his child in their future verse and he bails her out of jail. She did the same once – only she sold his diamonds to get him out and kept the rest of the cash as payment for actually doing the deed.

Troy // @sylentee - a one night stand that turned into a friends with benefits thing that turned into a boyfriend thing and honestly it’s just such a cute fluffy ship that makes me really, really happy when I get to see them together. Troy is just really cuddly with her and treats her right and he makes her happy and it’s just easy for these two to be together because it’s really simple and fun and always makes her feel really light and happy afterwards. Also she’s such an absolute tease with him and enjoys just being on his lap and watching movies and hanging out together they’re honestly adorable aaaaah

Kou // @risiox - I think I can consider him her newest closest friendship thing now?? Like they manage to get into the worse most painful situations together but also they’re just very easy together and seem like the type of pair that’ll be really great friends and hanging out together seems like it’ll be so much fun. They went to the hospital together, and they saved a cat together, and he saved her when she was being stubborn about burning her hands and now they’re gonna spend new years together its so nice I love it this makes me happy too hihi

[soranoportfolio]

Short Story: “Spice”

The day was over. Life as she knew it was saved: the weekend. It was finally here.

    At last a sliver of respite for Louisa. The last few weeks before the holiday break were always unbearable at the ad agency she worked for. Clients asking for tweaks at the last minute, micro-managing every facet of her (and her team’s) time. If it wasn’t changes to design models, launch schedules or the copy or the fonts, it was the color scheme that had been rethought by the client’s meme-obsessed children.

    She was done. For the weekend, and possibly for longer. Louisa would reevaluate once the thought of emails starting with “MISS BAXTER... I HAVE! AN! IDEA!” did not make her mind vomit from the combination of loathing, dread and anxiety.

    She stepped through the front door of apartment, standing defiantly. The door snapped behind her and she melted. Her (in)famous willpower gloriously failing. Boots and socks were thrown everywhere. Coat on the door handle. This could be fixed tomorrow, when no else would see the mess she’d become. Keys and change could be rediscovered later on. An adventure… for spinsters!

    Meandering through her apartment, she staggered through the mess she’d made. Work had been hell, what with deadlines shifting all around without her say. Her entire home reflected a now all-too familiar sorry state of being.

    One more thing to care about unfortunately, what with her mother arriving next weekend for a pitstop leading to the larger (hellish) all-hands-on-deck holiday family gathering. She was not looking for another round of 20 questions asking where/when a long-time partner would suddenly materialize to fulfill all of her family’s expectations.

All alone until then.

No one to disturb nor annoy her.

She’d seen to it all.

    She’d left her phone slowly uncharge all day. Becky would only come by Sunday for brunch along with her charger.

    In her bedroom, she discarded her entire set of clothes and swam into warm new pajamas. In a rush, she nearly tripped on her very vintage (see: expensive) space heater.

    She’d picked up the old thing on a sale when she went antiquing with Michael earlier during Fall. Upon concluding its purchase, an old widow walked up to her, telling her terrible stories of deathly curses, which Louisa frankly did not perceive at the time due to her and Michael being too excited about their new accessories on social media.

The both of them weren’t speaking anymore.

    Moving to the kitchen, she scoured her empty fridge for anything that wouldn’t require her to rely on takeout. You can only eat so many varieties of deadline pizza before any configuration of salt, fat and animal products trigger both emotional and physical distress.

    Luckily, past-Louisa had some cooked chicken, peas and eggs. The mixture was uncanny, but fried up good with a few spices! More dishes to do, but that would be one more problem for tomorrow.

    Now that base needs were met, Louisa finally attended to down-to-earth R&R. She poured herself a hot bath and then dipped in it for no more than 5 minutes: the exact amount of time a bath is satisfying to a grown adult.

    Back in pajamas, sporting her pink nightgown, hair wrapped in a towel, toes in slippers, she arrived into her living room and dived into the couch. Finally, a touch of romance and care in an unloving world.

    Her novel took no time clawing itself back into her. It was a steamy page-turner about a gentleman Roma pirate. A swashbuckler saving women and children from the clutches of the vindictive and cruel Spanish Inquisition at the height of its power in 1640.

    It was tasteful prose: romantic, luscious and historically accurate to boot! Louisa loved a good historical fiction, although the occasional smooch and stab were very appreciated.

    Pages turned and time passed. Ferka the pirate stabbed a Spanish vicar to save an innocent lamb meant for orphans, all much to Louisa’s glee.

    The room fell silent as the night settled in her home. Lights dimmed outside and silence let itself known. The wind and air racked through the windows (the landlord really did owe her repairs).

    Her toes hardened. Her fingers tensed, until a page turn wherein a somber chill snapped her right out of the story. The boiler, or whatever heated her building, had obviously failed. She was freezing.

    She clapped her book in anger and went into her room, plugged in her vintage space heater, bundled under the covers, and got back to her book. Louisa heard Ferka would adopt an heir in this volume. She hungered to finally get to the end and at last confirm her suspicions since the last two volumes.

    Pages turned, delicately caressing each other, just as Ferka embraced his sweet Jimena or archenemy/spurned lover Matías, Dog of the Inquisition. Louisa lost herself in dreams of sweeter, more violent and romantic times.

    The space heater sparked, unbeknownst to Louisa, who was too absorbed in her fiction. It fizzled, sputtering silent pastel flames and suddenly surged in power.

Time slowed and she felt centered, comfortable and finally: warm. No emails, no work, no stress.

    Swimming in peace and letting herself drift in the quiet winter night, her thoughts wandered, ersatz and wistful. All the romance and pain from her readings, it all felt so fantastic. No hardships too great or pain too personal.

Then a faint, familiar aroma distracted her.

A smell of comfort, holiday and home.

Pancakes. She was certain of it. It had to be pancakes.

Cinnamon pancakes.

    The kind her and mother used to make from scratch when she was little. Where could it be coming from? She forced herself out of bed and dashed around her whole apartment.

    Was it an electrical problem? Burnt toast? A kitchen malfunction? Pagan purification ritual? Nothing. It was nothing. She went back to bed and into her book.

It was then she noticed a form. A strange and curious shape hovering above her bed.

It floated with ease.

A human cloud of sparks, flames and glowing sand.

    It played in the air surrounding it, leaving trails of stardust, morphing its form to giggle and tease. It stared at Louisa, somehow with eyes shaping itself in the moment to look at her.

It was a ghost. What else could it be!?!??

    The ghost smelled starklyof cinnamon. It hovered on top of her, never touching or giving any sign it desired to advance.

    Louisa had all rights to panic, scream, fight for her life, but instead there was only comfort on her part. The ghost didn’t seem vengeful or in pain. It was peaceful.

A deep, bellowing, childish laugh echoed from the particles.

    Louisa had heard this laugh before alongside pancakes. The sand took a definite shape and suddenly, there was Michael.

Always ready to surprise her, that one.

    Michael and Louisa had been together for no more than a few months. He was a television producer, eager to please and hard to disappoint. They had met through her work. His production agency was launching a new cooking reality webseries for dogs and she’d be hired to do marketing for him.

    She loved dogs. He loved eating. Recognizing each other’s passions, a small bond developed. He was adventurous, brash and genuinely kind. Tall, handsome, with a smile building into reddish cheeks.

    The work he poured his soul into was… lackluster. He produced a lot of shows. Built a career of middling successes based on wacky concepts: operas with birds, nature shows for cats, puppetry with rats. He didn’t make any illusion that he wasn’t the most profund creative in the business, but he went along for the ride with calm confidence.

    That quiet resignation tainted their relationship from the get-go. Where she had passion and he was rote.

    While Louisa experimented at work, pushing for riskier pitches for clients, pouring energy to make a name for herself in the ad world, Michael coasted along. He made money, comforted himself with expensive outings and that was enough, apparently.

    They’d meet, small-talk, chat about ambitions and their futures. She had plans to pitch her expansion ideas to the owners, talked about mentoring a more vibrant, diverse and ethical generation of adpeople.

    Michael just wanted to see what would stick if he mixed new animals and genres. Capybara crime? Panda drama? Ostrich racing? He’d legitimately pitched those without a drop of irony whatsoever.

It all trickled down.

    Dating Michael was steady and simply nice, if unremarkable. Restaurants, museums, lazy days at home, up to the milestone of weekend cabin trips with mutual friends. He’d check in, giver her space, wasn’t pushy, but the imbalance was palpable: Michael wasn’t fulfilled and it made him plain uncomfortable to be around in the long run.

    He could never sit still. She just wanted to drink a glass rosé and have a breather. Michael would rather rent jetskis for a weekend to impress others, if not himself. Louisa was more stay-at-home to have people over and whip-up a new unproven dish.

They parted ways with sympathy and gradually failed to stay friends.

    Seeing a ghost of Michael was all very strange, in part due to the fact that Michael was still very much alive. But there he was: floating, smiling, hovering like on a cloud. Louisa dared not attempt to touch him.

    She closed her eyes. She slapped herself. The spectre of Michael would remain, as the cinnamon in the air. She looked at him directly in the eyes and smirked. She remembered where the aroma came from.

    A few weeks into their relationship, Louisa had finally convinced him to stay at home and chat on a glowing Sunday morning after a night out that concluded in her apartment.

    It had taken Michael, always the busybody,  almost everything for him to concede to her small request.

    In exchange, she showed him her favorite recipe: her mother’s own inimitable cinnamon pancakes. Michael helped her prepare them from scratch, all a bit puzzled along the way. He was not much of a cook, but the thrill of not knowing his way around an eggbeater seemed enticing enough for him that day.

    Pancakes were cooked and consumed, without (much) catastrophe. Fine to the mouth and smelling divine, they could not reach the height of her mother’s cooking, which she teased Michael with glee.

    A week later, after spending another night over, Michael surprised Louisa in bed with a small mound of pancakes. Unlike last time, they were… perfect!?! Just like her mother’s, with an extra spice she couldn’t put her finger on. They kissed. He had excelled, for her. Very few did after him.

    Back to reality, Michael was still there. The apparition was him. An almost too-perfect recreation, with all his imperfections. His controversial humongous dimples. His playful rotund belly. His hair somehow always annoyingly uncoiffed. All still there, with an ethereal smile.

    Louisa thought of him. Thought of what could have been. The lost promises, the missed plans, the friends, the reticent adventures. She was sad, but she had made her choice.

She wanted more and he was content.

He respected her and  walked away.

    “Michael, if that is you, I miss you… but I don’t regret you. You’re fantastic. I’m fantastic. We we’re just… different. I hope you’ll… understand, someday.”

    She smiled. He smiled back. The flames dimmed, the sparks stopped and the sand whisked itself away. The cinnamon scattered and the past rolled into the present.

    Louisa contemplated what had occured. Spirits were… real? What would she do now? Why this? Why now? ….Maybe he had changed?

    The impending holidays would be a stealthy excuse to check in with Michael tomorrow, between cleaning sessions. And if nothing came of this, at least it’d serve as inspiration for work.

Louisa turned off her reading lamp and went to sleep.

Now she would dream.

Not of work, or men.

A simple, common dream of hope and better futures.

    ...and pancakes.