#I feel vaguely nauseous I'm so tired

[cyber-geist]

Orion from 'TommyInnit's Services for Villains, Vigilantes, and Various Other Vagabonds' by @scorpionoesit I had honestly forgotten that I was sitting on some half finished concept designs for this fic. I posted a while ago the rough sketches of Orien, Artemis, and Michael's concept designs and now I'm finally finishing up my final version of their designs. Here's Orion, and yes I fixed the mask it's a boar skull cyberpunk mask now, which let me tell you I have three or four designs for this mask alone because it was a pain in my butt. Scorpio is back, and i had burst of motivation to finish this, will finish Michael and Artemis's final designs.... yes..... I have no idea when tho, but it will happen. For now have Orien and the rough sketches of the others from months ago. Click images for better quality, cause when they scrunched they dont look good. Anyways, Ciao!!!!

[watery-melon-baller]

woukd like to file a formal complaint for getting sick right now. I am in the midst of finals week. my project is due on Friday and I need to work on it. could i not have waited a few days. im drinking all the fluids and resting why is my body still unhappy. im doing all the things. please let me recover so I don't fail my fucking class <3

[etherealyoungk]

new beginnings - jeon wonwoo

summary: in which a certain someone starts getting extra clingy to you, leading you to find out you're pregnant.

pairing: husband!wonwoo x fem!reader

themes: established relationship, terms of endearment, pregnancy, fluffy, comfort

warnings: reader is pregnant, mentions of nausea, throwing up, anxiety, vague mentions of intimate relations, cats

wordcount: 2.1 k

a/n: just a random idea i had and thought might be cute

you come home a bit later than usual, the smell of something delicious wafting in the air, welcoming you as you step inside your cozy home. you walk in and spot wonwoo in the kitchen, busy stirring something in a pot as you discard your bag on the couch, spotting oreo, wonwoo's cat curled up on the other end in a peaceful slumber.

you slowly make your way towards wonwoo. "hey", you say, as you stand next to him, leaning your head on his shoulder. "hi love", he responds immediatily as he presses a soft kiss to your temple as you nod. "long day?", he asks, taking in your tired expression as you nod your head.

"you're home early", you point out, as you hook your arm around his, watching him stir the pot of soup carefully so that the ingredients wouldn't stick to the bottom and burn.

"yeah, i wanted to surprise you", he says, looking at you. you smile at his words and he smiles back at you. you let go of his arm and busy yourself with setting up the table. you and wonwoo had sweet love story and were now living a happy married life, and you couldn't ask for anyone else to spend it with. wonwoo was just your person and you were his.

but wonwoo's cat on the other hand was another story. you could say that she didn't really have a thing for you. oreo had never bonded with you, and you were only allowed to give her the occasional pet before she'd walk off, uninterested in you. orea never got cuddly with you like she did with wonwoo. you were bummed at first but you decided that maybe she'd grow into you later it. but it looked like you were just going to be a side character to her.

wonwoo asks you about your day as you both eat, but he's also acutely aware of how little food you've served yourself and how you've barely touched the soup he made. "not hungry?", he prompts after a while. "i am, i'm just a little tired", you tell, feeling a bit bad because wonwoo had made your favorite soup and you barely felt like eating it. you force yourself to have at least a few spoonfuls of the spoon and finish up your rice.

it's two am and you wake up feeling nauseous so you sit up, hoping that would ease the feeling but it didn't. it was like wonwoo was so in tune with you that he could always tell when you're awake and you heard him stir beside you. "are you okay love?", he asks, his voice laced with sleep.

"just a little nauseous", you tell softly, feeling umcomfortable.

"should i make you some peppermint tea?", he asks, now sitting up beside you. he doesn't wait for your answer as he heads to the kitchen to make it for you regardless. he comes up and places the steaming mug of peppermint tea on your bedside table, as he sits down next to you. his hand finds yours as he laces his fingers in your hand, looking at you, worried. after a few sips of the tea, you feel slightly better and you're now cuddled in wonwoo's arms as you lay your head on his chest, his hands holding you safe from the world.

you feel the bed dip again as oreo, wonwoo's cat jumps on the bed, walking towards you both. you look at her, ready for her to go towards wonwoo but instead, she comes up to you and settles next to you. "baby are you seeing this", you tell, shocked. "looks like she's finally warming up to you", he jokes and it was like oreo understood and she meows as she looks at you before curling up beside you.

you fall asleep only to wake up an hour late as you rush into the bathroom and throw up, feeling horrible and absolutely terrible. you feel wonwoo's hand on your back a few moments later as he rubs it gently to help you. he then helps you up and you clean yourself up before he helps you back in bed.

that whole week, you battle with nausea, throwing up either in the morning or night, and feeling tired and fatigued all of a sudden. you try to brush it off, blaming it on the stress or just the flu, but wonwoo insists on going to the doctor to figure out what is going on.

you take a sick leave the next day and you're sitting on the couch, scrolling through your phone when oreo comes up to you again, sitting on your stomach, giving you a little meow as she closes her eyes and goes into her meditation. you smile, feeling like you were being blessed by her presence lately. she'd started to get cuddly with you the past week and you were surprised but happy because otherwise you were going to think she was going to hate you forever.

you're aimlessly scrolling through your phone when you come across a video of a cat sitting on a lady, much like how oreo was sitting on you and as the video goes on, the lady explains how she found out she was pregnant because her cat started to get extra cuddly with her. your brain pauses and you glance at oreo, who's in a peaceful slumber on your stomach. you quickly open google, typing in if cats can tell if a person is pregnant and you gulp as you read articles and information that shows up and things slowly start adding up in your mind. this would explain all the nausea, the weird mood swings you've been having and the fatigue you've been experiencing the past two weeks. oh my god.

you gently move oreo off you, apologising to her as you grab a coat and slip on your shoes, heading to the nearest pharmacy to buy a pregnancy test. you buy two to give yourself the benefit of the doubt and now you're in your bathroom as you wait for the results of pregnancy tests. you stand a few steps back, nervous to see the results.

sure, you and wonwoo had talked about having kids of your own and it was something you both did want. you both had also taken care and been careful whenever you were intimate with each other. but now as you stand in the bathroom all alone, a feeling of dread engulfs you and pools in your stomach. you move towards the countertop and look at yourself in the mirror. it was going to be okay you thought ou close your eyes and take a deep breath and you finally find the courage to look down at the pregnancy tests laid out in front of you. you blink down as you see two lines on them bioth and let out a shaky breath as you try to ground yourself.

you didn't tell wonwoo that evening, still trying to take everything in but mostly because you didn't know how to. you were unsure and scared. but when he comes home tonight, you can't seem to hold onto this secret anymore as it seems to be eating you alive. when he comes home later that evening, you're quick to greet him as he shrugs off his blazer, his eyes lighting up when he sees you. you give him a kiss as you ask him about his day. he walks into the bedroom to change and you follow him. "what's going on in that pretty little mind of yours", he asks as he loosens his tie and takes off his watch. "how do you know something is going on?", you ask. "because you only follow me around when you have something you want to get off your chest", he tells, coming towards you. you find it sweet that he's picked up on his piece of information and observed, he knew you too well.

"okay fine, i do have something to tell you", you say finally as you move closer to wonwoo. you look up at him and he patiently waits for you to speak. but as you're looking at him and trying to find the right words and how to get them out, you find yourself getting overwhelmed with emotion all of a sudden and you're tearing up. your gaze flickers to the side of the room and down before you look back up but wonwoo is keen to pick up on his.

"what's wrong sweetheart?", he asks as you try with all your might to hold the tears in, trying to blink back your tears, but you can't and they flow down your cheeks and before you know it you're crying. wonwoo pulls you into his arms, his hand running up and down your back softly in an attempt to soothe you. "did something happen?", he asks, worried as his gaze softens.

you sniffle as you look at him, still in his arms. "no- i-i- don't know why i'm crying god i feel like an idiot", you tell as wonwoo cups your face, gently wiping away your tears with his thumb. "you're not", he assures you and he holds your gaze as he looks at you sweetly, not forcing you to say anything.

he gently moves you to the bedside and sits you down looking at you deeply, a hit of worry laced in his gaze. you'd been off this entire week and he was worried.

"are you okay?", he asks again, gently as he looks at you, his hand intertwined in yours.

"i-im pregnant", you finally tell softly and in the quiet room it was like your words echoed in the air. wonwoo blinks at you and you can see the wave of emotion he goes through.

"i took a pregnancy test, two in fact and they both came back positive", you add, looking at wonwoo to see his reaction.

"you're pregnant", he repeats like he was testing how the words would sound on his lips. "we're pregnant", he says again and you nod.

"i'm pregnant", you tell, tearing up again. "we're pregnant", you say again.

you find yourself tearing up again and wonwoo cups your cheek. "but what if i'm not ready, i'm scared", you add softly and wonwoo is quick to embrace you in another hug.

"i think, no i know that you're going to be a great mother love", he tells. "and remember, you're not alone in this, i'm right here and i'll be here with you every step of the way", he adds as he hugs you tighter.

you pull away, looking at him and you smile. "i love you", you say. " i love you more", he says, making you smile.

"i can't believe we're going to be parents", he says in a soft excitement as he kisses your forehead.

"you know, oreo was the first one to know", you say and he furrows his brows in confusion.

"what do you mean?", he asks, his hands resting on waist. "that's why she's been so clingy and cuddly to me these last two weeks. she knew i was pregnant, cats can sense it", you explain and his interest is piqued by this piece of information. "should we make a bet on if oreo's going to befriend our kid or not", he says and you snort, chuckling at his suggestion. god how you loved him and his silly antics. "i'm gonna bet she will befriend him, she already has technically", you add before leaning in wonwoo's chest again.

-bonus scene-

you're laying on the couch, now six months along your pregnancy and your bump is growing healthily. wonwoo's been so sweet and supportive throughout it all, from helping you when you were puking your guts out from morning sickness to getting you all your pregnancy cravings even if they were weird.

you hear the door open, wonwoo walking in with takeaway from your favourite cafe because you were craving a red velvet cake. he triumphantly lifts the bag as he walks in, putting it down on the table as he sees oreo perched on your belly.

"i think out kid is going to be a cat lover", wonwoo says. "imagine if they're not", you add as wonwoo hands you the cake box and you take it, the sweet smell already filling the air. you take a bit and sigh, content and offer wonwoo a bite.

just then you feel the baby kick and oreo looks alert, wondering where the little movement came from as she looks around and looks at you with a questioning look. "baby, did you see that?", you ask. the baby kicks again and oreo looks around again and glances at your belly before meowing at you and you chuckle. "aww she felt the kick", you tell. wonwoo smiles as he looks at you, his heart overflowing with love as he thinks about how lucky he is and how grateful he is

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[beefcakekinard]

43 + 45 for bucktommy 💕💕💕

43. falling asleep with their head in your lap +

45. running hands through hair

In the unflattering fluorescent hospital lighting, in a hard plastic visitor's chair, Evan looks wan. The light hits his face at odd angles, dragging down the deep bags under his eyes, draining his skin of its colour, its rosy vital glow.

Tommy has never seen anyone look so beautiful.

"Hey, baby," he rasps. He tries to clear his throat and ends up in a coughing fit that sets pain lancing through his body. Evan's eyes widen and in his rush to get a straw between Tommy's lips, he spills water on Tommy's chest.

"Hey, hey, it's good to see you awake," Evan says as Tommy sips his water. "How are you feeling?"

Tommy lets the straw go and tries to take stock. He looks down at himself - his left leg is in a cast from his hip down, as is his left arm. They both hurt in a dull, vague way, same as his ribs and his head. There's an IV line running through the back of his right hand. His stomach turns a little at the sight so he looks away. He's not great with needles.

"It hurts," he says, frowning. He looks back up at Evan, who plasters a fake smile on his face. "What happened?"

Evan takes his hand, carefully, cups Tommy's fingers between both of his hands without jostling the IV. "You don't remember?"

Tommy shakes his head and decides never to do that again when it makes the room spin.

"You were- there was an accident," Evan says, stroking his thumb down the back of Tommy's index finger. "You, uh, you got hit by- by a car."

"Oh." Tommy looks into Evan's eyes. They're so pretty. "Really?"

Evan smiles a little - this one is real, Tommy can tell. "Yeah. What's the last thing you remember?"

Tommy thinks, tries to grasp the memory of what he was doing before he woke up. It's hard to hold onto any one thought - it's like chasing bubbles. The second he gets his hands on one, it pops, gone. Evan likes to blow bubbles for Jee. She runs through them, twirling until each and every one is gone, and asks again, again! It's so cute it makes Tommy giggle.

"What's so funny, huh?" Evan asks. He's smiling still, kind of, but he looks confused.

"You're so cute," Tommy explains. He knows Evan will get what he means. Evan always gets what he means. Case in point: he laughs, which makes Tommy smile even more because he loves that sound.

"You enjoying that morphine, babe?"

Tommy almost shakes his head - but then he remembers he shouldn't. "I don't like morphine. It makes me nauseous." He pulls his hand out of Evan's hold and presses his thumb to Evan's birthmark. It fits his thumb so perfectly. Like Cinderella's shoe. "I like you, Cinderella."

Evan laughs for real, then, big and loud, and Tommy feels proud of himself. It's his job to make Evan happy. His hand is dislodged, but he raises it again, landing it in Evan's hair. It doesn't feel like gel, like he's used to, all he feels are Evan's soft curls, and he could get addicted to how they glide under his fingers. He pulls Evan closer, then down, so he's resting his head on Tommy's hip, and Tommy doesn't have to lift his hand so high to touch his hair. Evan's still smiling up at him.

"You look tired," Tommy says. Evan proves his point by yawning.

"I'm fine. You're the one who needs his rest." Evan lays a hand on Tommy's knee. He likes it, he always likes when Evan touches him.

"You can sleep," Tommy says. He traces his thumb across Evan's dark under-eye, making his eyelashes flutter, and on his way back to burying his fingers in Evan's hair he presses his thumb into Evan's birthmark again. "I want you to."

"Will you sleep if I do?"

"Yeah," Tommy lies. He thinks Evan sees through him, because Evan knows him so well, but he still closes his eyes and nuzzles against Tommy's hip.

Tommy focuses on brushing his fingers through Evan's hair, letting his curls bounce back into shape before he reaches them again, following the soothing rhythm of Evan's breathing. He loses track of time; it drips, slow like the motion of his fingers, slow like his thoughts that remain out of reach, and before he has a chance to notice it, his own eyes have grown heavy.

He falls back asleep in pain, still - but with Evan's head a welcome weight on his hip, Evan's hand on his knee, his fingers tangled up in Evan's hair, it's easy to ignore.

[bigsexiest]

Strange Rain Sickness

Rain's sickness is sort of vaguely described as "drying out". Do with that what you will. Swiss could've probably had a bigger role in this but whatever. I've been feeling somehwat brain sick and I thought this would be cute to write out. For some reason I've been second-guessing the validity of my work despite this being a completely anonymous account. I'm overthinking. I just need some cute ghouls to make me feel better. Rainy is so pathetic and Swiss is so hero. I love them so much.

word count: 1420

synopsis: Rain starts feeling hella sick and Swiss is there to save the day

The second the water hit Rain’s skin, he felt much better.

The pack had been rehearsing in the abbey. Nothing intricate, just making sure everything looked and sounded good. Rain figured he must have head-banged too hard or stomped across the stage too fast. He was drying out. He skipped his regular morning shower, expecting to make it through the day fine. Rain knew he would fall over if he did not come into contact with water soon.

Luckily, Papa had just called for a break. A strange tingling sensation had started in the tips of Rain’s fingers and slithered up his arms. The same happened with his feet and legs. His head felt as though they weren’t connected to his body. Rain was running out of time.

Leaving the stage, Rain practically threw his bass at a sibling of sin and ran as fast as he could toward the ghoul den. He didn’t care about returning. He just needed to get to water.

He couldn’t feel his legs, but he made it just the same. Flipping the light switch would have taken him too long so he hopped into his bathtub in the darkness. It didn’t matter, he could see in the dark despite his quickly blurring vision.

Turning on the faucet brought immediate relief. He blacked out in the pleasure. The sensation was reminiscent of falling backward or drifting to sleep after a day of hard work. The longer Rain existed outside the pit, the better he has gotten at not drying out. If he’s lucky he can go days without needing to submerge himself. Not that that happens often.

Usually, Rain stays comfortable by using the water from his showers. Occasionally he’ll use the lake. Rain will start drying out if he doesn’t submerge himself in water often enough. It’s a water ghoul necessity. Drying out has its own array of problems. It starts with a dry feeling in a ghoul’s mouth and on its skin. Sometimes these symptoms can be overlooked. If they are, the ghoul will begin feeling nauseous, lightheaded, and weak. These symptoms are much easier to realize. Finally, if none of these symptoms are managed, a ghoul can pass out and eventually even die. 

Rain doesn’t understand why he missed the warning symptoms earlier. It hadn’t been that long since he’d showered. Rehearsing had never been an issue before, nor did he think he was doing anything more strenuous than anyone else. Taking all of this into consideration, he had no explanation.

The water had filled up the tub and Rain finally turned off the faucet. His body was submerged up to his neck. Lukewarm water flowed in and out of his gills. He found it easier to rehydrate if he used them.

Quiet droplets dripping from the faucet had just started to lull Rain to sleep when a frantic knocking could be heard coming from the door to his room. Rain sat up but made no move to get up and actually answer the door.

“Rainy, are you in there?” Swiss’s voice stood out. It was loud and emotive. Rain liked knowing what faces the multighoul was making based only on the sound of his voice. The door to the bathroom was open so Swiss could hear when Rain called for him to enter.

From the bathroom, Rain saw the confused look on Swiss’s face as he looked for where the water ghoul was. 

Rain called to him again. “I’m in here.” He was so tired.

His eyes were closed when Swiss crouched down beside the tub. “Little ghoul, you don’t look so hot.” 

Rain made a noncommittal ‘mmhm’ noise in return. The original bliss of the water had started to wear away. It wasn’t as urgent, but he was still in pain.

“How long have you felt like this, Rain?” It was clear Swiss was no longer teasing, his voice was serious and concerned. 

There was nothing Rain wanted to do less than explain how he felt. Just listening to Swiss was making things worse. He wished he could just fall asleep until he felt better. 

Rain must’ve passed out. He doesn’t remember anything other than the excruciating wave of exhaustion after Swiss’s questions. He knows he hasn’t moved from the bath, but Swiss isn’t in the room anymore. Rain even leans forward to try and see if he’s in the main room anywhere. 

Rain wonders to himself if Swiss had ever been there at all. What if he had been hallucinating? Rain realizes he has to find help. The water might be making things more bearable, but he was not feeling any better. Something was seriously wrong.

Despite the various red flags raised in his mind, Rain forces himself to grab the edges of the bathtub and push himself to his feet. The cold water dripping off his body gives him a chill and he shivers violently. He wraps his arms around himself but the sudden lightheaded feeling he gets gives him an immediate headache. Through the extreme pressure building in his head, he wonders how he’s supposed to find help. He can barely see through the pain.

His clothes are plastered to his body and his hair is in his eyes. He feels pathetic and he can clearly see in his mirror that he indeed looks like a drowned owl. Shuffling across the floor is slow but anything faster might put him in his grave. The shivering rattles Rain’s body deep within his chest. He can’t take deep breaths without risking a coughing fit. 

Just as he’s about to reach for his doorknob to leave the room, Swiss barges in. His eyes are wide and panicked. Rain doesn’t see much, he closes his eyes trying to avoid being knocked over by the big ghoul. 

He can faintly feel what must be Swiss’s hands on his upper arms holding him up and guiding him to the bed. Everything sounds and feels like it's miles away. It takes a conscious effort to open his eyes and be present. 

Rain’s vision is still blurry but as he’s laying back on his bed he’s sure he can see what looks like either Omega or Aether standing next to Swiss. They’re looking down at Rain, Swiss looks worried but what now appears to be both Omega and Aether are trying to ask Rain various questions that he can’t understand. 

Rain tries to convey his confusion, but it’s just a mumble. The quintessence ghouls look at each other, but Swiss doesn’t take his eyes away from the water ghoul. 

Rain isn’t sure about how he ended up in Omega’s arms, being carried through the halls. He wasn’t very familiar with the ghoul. Rain only knew it was Omega because his scent was so different from Aether’s. Aether’s warm cedar and honey scent had been a comfort for Rain for the many years they had known each other. Rain’s eyes were closed but he could still faintly smell both Swiss and Aether under Omega’s scent. 

At his soft whine, he felt his hand taken up and held in the warm hand of another ghoul. Upon opening an eye a sliver, he could see Swiss still looking at him with concern holding his hand. He was jogging to keep up with Omega’s quick pace. Feeling safe despite the pain, Rain closed his eye and allowed himself to drift off again.

Waking up in the infirmary was never fun, but at least Rain didn’t feel as bad as before. He was still exhausted but seeing Swiss curled in a small chair beside his bed holding his hand filled his heart with a unique warmth. Soft snores were the only noise in the room. Rain wanted to cry out with adoration for the multighoul, but opening his mouth would be too much work. Instead, he let out a discomforting whimper loud enough to wake Swiss and squeezed his hand. When Swiss opened his eyes and straightened in his chair to check on Rain, Rain used the last of his strength to pull Swiss’s arm towards the bed. He scooched to the edge of the bed so Swiss could fit. There was a second’s hesitation in the multighoul’s eyes, but then he climbed onto the bed and pulled Rain close. Quickly drifting off to sleep again, Rain began to softly purr in satisfaction at being comforted despite being so sick. Starting the slow recovery process from the strange sickness, Swiss decided then and there that he wouldn’t leave Rain’s side.

[writing-whump]

Sol, from the sickfic prompts, can I have Isaiah + "Can you please come home? I feel really bad…" where he's the one saying this? I wonder how bad things would have to be for him to admit needing others?

Feverish and stubborn

"Are you sure you don't want to come with me?" Matthew asked for the umpteenth time that morning.

Isaiah smiled at his insistence, internally cringing. He wanted Matthew safely gone so he could collapse in peace.

He had been feeling off since morning. Some kind of exhaustion, making him feel heavy to the bones and tired. Truly, he just needed sleep. He slept only a few hours every day, too busy and fascinated by some kind of assignment or homework or getting calls about lost pups, angry pack representative doing this or that. If he didn't get a job, that part of his life would swallow him whole.

Matthew eyed him suspiciously. "The pack is super friendly and they specialize in that human fighting thing without shadows, that you approve so much. They wouldn't mind me bringing you over."

Seline was at her parents during the weekend and Matthew had a guilty look on for leaving Isaiah alone as well, for a boxing meet between wolves. Isaiah was happy for him. Matt was finding his niche, friends through his interests. His confidence would grow from it, Isaiah was sure.

"I'm sure. I have homework to catch up to and I do not mind being alone. I have been living that way for the last 6 years, in fact."

Matthew bit his lip, scanning him one last time. "I'll text you the address in case you change your mind."

Isaiah rolled his eyes. "Shoo. Go already."

Matthew grinned sheepishly, threw his bag over his shoulder and left.

Finally.

Isaiah dropped the happy mask at once, sitting down on the couch. He just felt so tired. Huddling into the blanket where he sat, not pressed to go hide in his room or pretend to function at 8 am, he lied down right there, quickly asleep.

***

Isaiah woke up 3 hours later to violent shivers through his body. He was freaking freezing. His hands and legs were frozen solid, he was trembling under the blanket. Even his nose was stinging from the cold. Did he leave the windows open or something?

He wiggled his head towards the clock and the windows and the balcony but everything was shut. Maybe he should get under the covers, they were thicker, but the idea of leaving the little warmth he had under the blanket made him curl up into it.

He would need to make a run for it, but he needed to gather his strength first.

It was only after that ridiculous thought that it struck him he must be feverish. The only logical explanation.

He shivered some more, mentally playing the short walk to his bed for five times, before finally standing up. Blanket still around his shoulders, he wanted to dash to the bedroom, except his bones felt like someone filled them with broken glass. He felt fragile, unsteady, like he was about to bend over and collapse on his feet. Ow.

Finding his slippers, he made his way to the bathroom instead, taking the big bathrobe against the cold. He leaned against the sink, daring a peek at himself.

Yeah. He was pasty white, giant circles under his eyes like he didn't sleep for weeks instead of the last few hours, and he sweated through his shirt, although he was still shivering.

He was also feeling vaguely nauseous. Not sure if it was from not eating or from the fever or because this flu came with a stomach bonus.

How annoying.

Isaiah felt a little better in the bathrobe, so he devised a plan of not having to get up again for the next two days.

He gathered a jar filled with water, a glass, biscuits, thermometer, some pills and a basin for good measure. He didn't eat much for dinner and nothing for breakfast, he was empty, but his stomach felt tense and sore. Better not risk it.

With his supplies steady on his nightstand, he hunted down thick woolen socks and new PJs. Closing the curtains on the window to not be bothered by the sun, he changed and climbed into his bed with the bathrobe on. No harm done, he would sleep this off.

He took his temperature. 38.4. Yeah, maybe the ibuprofen wouldn't be a bad idea. He took half a biscuit, grimacing at the taste before he took the ibuprofen against the fever and dived under the blankets in relief.

He was shaking until he warmed up the air underneath the covers, but he felt proud of himself for being responsible and sweating this out like an adult.

***

Three more hours later, Isaiah was ready to be better already.

The thermometer showed 39.5 as if the ibuprofen didn't help at all and he was constantly shivering like he was exposed to the Antarctic air.

Not to mention he was starting to feel really nauseous from the fever. His stomach didn't hurt or protest another medication, so he could tell the fever was doing it. The nausea was a slimy presence at the back of his throat, around his teeth and jaw. He took deep breaths against it, shutting his eyes, trying to relax and will himself to sleep.

When he closed them though, all he could see were images of his work as the Executioner or his Father's voice admonishing other pups that wolves didn't get sick. Yeah, getting sick was a luxury. Taking a day off, being able to stay in bed, being able to be so open about it. Isaiah had all the luxury now, so he should be fine. Nothing to complain about.

Other times, his feverish brain made a list of people he would have liked to be here if he dared to call them. Sonny saw him sick from time to time and always knew what to do. Very matter of fact mature presence.

Arnie would probably come if Isaiah asked. Would bring him medicine and worry for him, talk his ear off into sleep so Isaiah wouldn't have to hear his own buzzing thoughts.

Matthew and Seline would come. Matt wouldn't know what to do, but he would be adorable in his efforts. He would probably sit beside him in bed, turn on some Netflix show on their TV in the room and wake him up with exclamations when something funny or angering happened in them.

He dreamed about Seline saying he was okay, keeping track of his temperature and calling him something nice, like darling or sweetheart. The idea made Isaiah sniffle, curling into himself under the covers. How pathetic was he, to imagine something like that?

The fever must be making him delusional. To imagine it would demand his roomates to be here, when he was a completely normal functioning adult who could handle a little fever.

It was a very rude one at that, not wanting to climb under 39.3, even after the second dose of medication.

Isaiah made himself drink some of the water, which made him reach for the basin and gag over it for a cruelly long time, but nothing came up. He curled up around it, breathing harshly as he drifted back to sleep.

***

Next time he woke up to the feeling of liquid in his throat.

Isaiah shot to towards the basin immediately, gagging over it, before a few drop of blood fell on the surface instead.

His nose was bleeding, that's what he could taste at the back of his throat.

Ah damn, he had no paper towels on the night stands. What a stupid thing to forget.

His heart was also beating really fast. Isaiah turned to lie on his back, pinching the bridge of his nose. The nausea was drowning him, his heart thumped painfully against his ribs, the only force left in his body and he was going to make a mess on his sheets with the nosebleed.

For some reason the last part made him want to cry.

He was so glad he was sick with something else but his heart episodes for a change and now the fever might initiate one for him. Or was the nosebleed from the fever?

The more he lied there, the stronger the blood was running, flowing freely down his face and throat. He felt like he was choking on it.

He heaved over the bucket at the taste again, strained over it with no relief for several minutes, face all wet and slimy from the red liquid.

Isaiah slid down from the bed, the basin and covers in his lap. The shivers doubled immediately. He hugged himself, rocking back and forth. He couldn't remember when was the last time he felt so rotten. And if he didn't calm down, he would cause himself a heart episode no less.

Feeling utterly pathetic and ashamed, he reached for his phone, dialing the number he had been craving for the whole day.

Seline picked up on the second ring. "Isaiah, hey!"

Isaiah cringed, the joy in her voice when she said his name squeezing his chest in longing. "H-hey...."

"I was just telling my mom about the theater show we were going to? If we like it, I could get them tickets and next time we could- Isaiah? Is something wrong?"

He could hear voices in the backround, a female and a male and Seline answering something back in Slovak.

"I just..." Isaiah sniffled against the blood clogging his nose, cupping his hand over it to catch some of the mess. "I'm sorry, I..."

"Wait, hold up a sec." The noise of a chair being pushed back as Seline got up and left the kitchen. "Isaiah, talk to me. What's going on? Is everything okay?"

"I'm sorry. C-can you please come home? I feel really bad..." He hated what he was asking. She was an hour away by train, enjoying her weekend with her parents and he was calling for her like a child.

"Oh sweetheart," Seline voice dropped to lowest, sweetest, softest coo. "I'm on my way, okay? Dad will take me to the station, it's 4.30 right now...that means the train at 5.15 should be doable by car...I'll be there at 6.15...Anything I can bring you? What's wrong exactly?"

Isaiah sniffed pitifully. "I don't...I- it's just the fever won't go down and I feel sick and now there is blood everywhere-"

"Blood? What do you mean blood?" She said in alarm.

"'s nothing, just my nose is bleeding for some reason."

"Okay, okay, okay. Everything is going to be fine, you hear? I'll be there as fast as I can."

***

Isaiah woke up on the floor, throat and nose clogged up with dried blood, covers and bathrobe covered in it, shivering and sweaty.

None of that mattered, because he was greeted by the nicest sight he could wish for.

Seline was crouching next to him, jacket half open, frowning in concern.

Isaiah looked at the watch. 5.30 pm. "You made it early," he croaked.

"Dad drove me all the way here. Better than the trains." Seline cupped his cheek with her hand, lifting his face towards her to study him.

"Is he still here? I should-"

"You should nothing," she interrupted sternly. "The nosebleed stopped? Can you get up on the bed?"

"No...I'll make a mess like this." He pointed at his face.

"Is that why you are on the floor? Honey, the sheets can be washed, that's not a reason for you to sleep on the carpet."

Isaiah focused in her voice. She still changed the pet names frequently, like she couldn't settle on her favourite one. He loved it.

Seline's hands on his face felt divine, even though they were way too cold. He shivered under her touch, breath hitching.

"Okay, arm up. We will take your temperature, while I get something to clean you up with, alright?" She put the thermometer under his arm, kissing him on the forehead before leaving.

Isaiah closed his eyes, shivering under the sudden heaviness of her absence.

"Okay, come on, sweetie. Back in the bed." She was really insistent on that, huh?

Seline grabbed his arm and pulled and he followed, standing up and then falling back on the bed with a moan.

"What is it?" Seline sat down next to him with a wet towel and a bunch of those soft paper towels for colds.

"Ugghh. My skin hurts."

"Your skin?"

"Yeah. It's like broken glass all over," he whined.

Seline shook her head. "Your fever is super high, I can tell all the way from here. It's okay. It will pass." She took the towel and started to clean the dried blood on his face.

Isaiah winced at the coldness, but she was so gentle, he couldn't protest.

"I got you all the good stuff. Best rehydration drink ever," she said with a small smile, taking his thermometer, scowling at it without comment, and putting it away.

"I feel nauseous. Not sure I can drink," he said tiredly, closing his eyes. It wasn't his concern anymore. She could decide what he could and couldn't do.

"Just a few spoons, okay? It will really help with the fever. There. Face all clean. It really bled a lot, huh?" Isaiah didn't dare to glance at the ruined towel, but the wet skin left in its wake was stinging with cold. The feeling of cleanness comforted him.

Seline put another, bigger towel soaked in cold water around his forehead and neck. He hissed at the touch, but she took his hand in hers. "I know, I know. But this will help, darling. Please, trust me."

He squeezed her hand back, propped up on the pillows and closed his eyes.

"Open your mouth, sweetie."

Isaiah squinted at her. She really sat there with a mug of transparent liquid in her lap and was offering him a spoon of that salty smelling water.

He sighed but obeyed, letting her spoon feed him four times, before he pressed his lips together as he waited for his stomach's reaction. It sloshed angrily inside him, a cramp making him double over.

Seline's hand was cupping him his face immediately, her lips on his forehead murmuring something into his ear.

He breathed harshly, melting against the contact, then curled up at his side. "No more."

"Okay. That's enough for now. Such a good job. You will be up and about in no time."

Seline put the mug away, patting his face, readjusting the cold towel on his forehead, before standing up.

"Sel?" He whined, afraid she would leave. "Stay? Please?"

"I'm not going anywhere."

She cluttered with some of the things on his bedside table, before switching off the lamp and climbing into the bed beside him.

He shifted closer on his side, and she pressed herself against his back, arm around his chest. He took the hand in his, curling it against his heart like a talisman.

"It's beating really fast," she said softly.

"Hmmm. I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologising?" She said in disbelief, voice going higher with emotion.

Isaiah's throat closed up. "I'm sorry I called, I-"

She lifted herself up to loom over him. "You can always call me. I'm glad you called me." Her voice suddenly grew more heated. "No, in fact, you have to call me, when you feel bad like this. How long has this been going on? Why were you alone and not telling me sooner?"

Isaiah blinked in the dark, taken aback.

"When you get better, I'm gonna kill you, you hear? You feel off or like you are coming down with something, you are supposed to tell me before you black out from a fever with a nosebleed. You tell me immediately. I don't care if I'm on the other side of Europe, I'll come."

Isaiah swallowed, eyes burning, heart somewhere in his throat. "I didn't want to be a both-"

"I forbid you from having such thoughts," she said indignantly. "You are never a bother. You matter to me, Isaiah, do you understand that? When you are hurting in secret, alone, away from me, you are hurting me. You want to let me bleed out by not telling me of the wound?"

Isaiah didn't know what to say to that, eyes wide in the dark.

"You don't have to toughen it out," she said more gently, palm on his cheek, caressing it with one finger. "Let me take care of you. It's the least you can do, when part of me is hurting there with you."

Isaiah took in a shaky breath, chest hurting from her words. It hurt, it hurt to face such proclamations, such absolute belief they were true. "You are so bossy," he said, voice wavering on a sob.

Seline pressed herself closer to him still, spooning him, tangling their legs together. "Shhhhh. Yeah. You better get used to it."

[ssahotchnerr]

help, right now i'm just obsessed with the idea of being pregnant and aaron just being the best partner in the world + the team being all overprotective of you while on the field (because you refuse to leave the team until the last possible day)

i don't know if it's my hormones or girldad!hotch is too good to not be obsessed with him, but i just keep thinking about having a baby with him🙃🙃🙃🙃

AHHH one of my favorite things to envision truly i will never get enough of aaron and pregnant!reader<3 hehe i'll happily accept any and all requests just sayinggg

cw; vague descriptions of pregnancy

aaron would be so protective and so so sweet 🥺 he's cautious about where in the field you actually go, mainly you're just at the department working on the geographical profile with reid, or looking through files and whatnot. he's doing little check ins with you throughout the day - how you're feeling, is there anything he can do, if he can get you a snack or asking if your water bottle is getting low so he can refill it for you 🥺. if you mention you're feeling a bit tired, nauseous, anything, he's insists that he drives you back to the hotel to take a nap (and doesn't take no for an answer half the time). and if a detective were to ever so lightly raise their voice at you?!!? he's stepping in immediately, with a "what was that?" along with that signature hotch glare™ that's not happening on his watch >:| no one talks to his partner that way, especially while pregnant >:(

i also find a cute softness in reader and aaron keeping the secret you're pregnant to yourself for a while 🥹 hehe like of course you want to wait until you're farther alone to announce it to everyone. but the quick secret smiles you flash each other, aaron placing his hand on your abdomen in passing or while no one's looking, the little hushed soft whispers <3, and just simply knowing🥹 those are special moments that you just can't get enough of <3 and meanwhile the team completely oblivious to your actions, so much for profilers huh🙄 but once they find out, they're SO excited for you and aaron, so so happy your family and the bau family is growing🥹 they're almost as protective as aaron <333 but let's be real no one can compare to him under these circumstances 🥰

[pillowsickfics]

alright, I'm still not sure of how these characters are, but I'm really excited about them! Please feel free to ignore this ask if its ooc: about Maverick feeling pretty wretched a day, but not sure if he should speak up on this, since its not very manly of him, only to end up getting sick at the most inconvenient time?

introductory (sorta) fic! woo! B, thank you so much for the request. it was completely it character too! this was so fun and i pumped it out so fast bc i was so excited to write it so forgive any spelling errors and such.. hope u enjoy!

﹌﹌﹌

Maverick should have never opened his eyes. He should have never sat up and he definitely should never have gotten out of bed. Alas, the pull of responsibility dragged him out of his paradise of duvet covers and pillows and forced him take the most miserable shower of his life as well as scarf down a nauseating breakfast of Cap’n Crunch and milk that tasted a few days past the expiration date. The day had already been off to a horrible start, and he didn’t anticipate it getting any better.

He should have known something was up when the previous night, he couldn’t stomach his leftover curry and went to bed earlier than normal. Then, he had passed it off as exhaustion from the long day of classes. He was starting to think it was something a bit more sinister.

For starters, his head pounded like it had never before in his life. Goosebumps appeared all along his broad shoulders and arms as he chafed away the odd chill that clung to him. Despite this, he was sweating buckets, evident by the dark gray stains under his arms and around his neck.

The worst of it, though, had to be his stomach.

It churned and roiled like some kind of lava pit from hell. Every slight movement threatened to send him over the edge, and with it the meager breakfast he choked down. It cramped and twisted and he felt more nauseous than he ever remembered feeling.

But he was fine.

He could handle this. He could “be a man.”

He couldn’t uproot every plan he had just because of a stomach ache.

So that is how he ended up in his current predicament. Biking to his schools hockey rink in the pouring rain while feeling like he was going to lose his lunch at the slightest pebble under his tire.

Usually he caught a ride with his teammate Cameron, who swing by to pick up both him and his roommate Laurie up for practice. For some reason or another, Cameron must not have been able to pick them up that day and so Maverick had to resort to his trusty bike he’d had since junior year of high school.

Laurie was long gone when Maverick had woken up, ever the early riser. He vaguely remembered Laurie mentioning something about 6am office hours, but Maverick didn’t have the energy to try and decipher the memory. He was preoccupied with more pressing matters. Like the fact that he felt like he was spinning in a teacup ride despite simply biking along the smooth sidewalk on the university campus.

After a few more minutes, he pulled up to the building and fastened his bike to the bike rack, but the movement of bending down to scramble the keypad on the bike lock irritated his stomach, causing him to press a fist to his mouth and muffle a burp.

Just for a minute, he allowed himself to express his misery. He let out a soft groan of pain as he braced himself in the seat of his bike and doubled over. He wanted nothing more than to just be back home, in his bed, sleeping off whatever this stomach bug from hell was.

He couldn’t do that, though. He needed to tough it out. He’d been doing it since he was young. He needed to be able to get through practice.

He pulled himself together and walked into the ice rink, sighing lightly under his breath.

As he walked in, he was met with a pair of brown eyes and a messy head of red hair waiting for him at the entrance with crossed arms.

“We we’re all waiting for you, Mav. You’re a whole fifteen minutes late. Coach is NOT happy,” Laurie said, clad in his jersey.

“Yeah yeah, I know.. I’m sorry.. I got caught up in the rain,” Maverick mumbled, making his way towards the lockers to grab his helmet and jersey and sticks.

“That, or you just slept in again, and you’re trying to make excuses,” Kurt muttered, throwing a half-hearted glare toward Mav.

Maverick ignored him. In fact, he couldn’t focus on any of them at the moment. His stomach twisted sourly, and he discreetly bent over to try and soothe the ache. He really didn’t feel good. To top things off, he was almost positive he was running a fever now, because despite being soaked from the rain, he felt pulses of sweat and dizziness overtake him. He wanted to be home. He wanted to be home so he could lay down and rest and he couldn’t imagine having to practice for 4 hours straight and he—

“Mav? You okay?” Laurie stood in front of him, apparently trying to snap him out of whatever fevered daze consumed him.

“Yeah.. yeah I’m alright, just uh… I’m still kinda waking up..” He said with a soft laugh. He didn’t meet Laurie’s eyes.

He couldn’t let his teammates see him like this, even if they were his closest friends. What would they think of him if they knew he was this weak, and couldn’t even push past a little illness. He’d be humiliated. They’d all ridicule him. He didn’t want that.

Laurie frowned skeptically, but he decided to leave it alone for the time being.

He absentmindedly changed into his uniform with a new resolve to just get through practice without utterly embarrassing himself. He laced up his skates and grabbed his sticks and made his way to the ice.

The rest of practice was a blur of drills and agility exercises and cardio that made Maverick want to bury himself in a hole and die. He felt horrible. Every sharp and fast movement made him feel like his belly was pushing its way into his throat. He had to stop for more water breaks than usual, but he didn’t even drink any water because he knew putting anything inside of him would end horribly.

It go so bad that at one point, he was so dizzy he nearly fell over trying to rejoin the group after one of his many water breaks.

Cameron was the one who walked over to steady him.

“What’s up with you man? You’re off your game today,” Cameron said half-jokingly, dragging Maverick back to the center of the rink.

Maverick just shrugged and continued the drills with the rest of the team.

To his credit, he managed to get through almost all of practice without incident. Almost.

It was the second to last set of drills Coach was making them do when Maverick felt a wave of nausea more pressing and intense than any he felt earlier in the day.

He faltered in one of the steps, and he skated off to the side as he doubled over and braced himself on his knees. He took in deep breaths through his nose, trying to will away the nausea, but this time it wasn’t budging. He knew he didn’t have much time. Laurie must have figured it out too, but suddenly he was being lead away from the rink and sat on one of the benches on the sidelines.

He let out a pathetic whimper and slapped a hand over his mouth when he felt his body lurch. He really really didn’t want to be sick here. Not in front of all these people. Tears sprung to his eyes and made him feel exponentially worse. Not only was he about to lose his breakfast in front of his team, but now he was crying in front of them too.

“Shh.. it’s alright dude.. Just breathe, okay? If you’re gonna be sick, you’re gonna be sick. No point in fightin’ it..” Laurie murmured beside him.

Maverick shook his head stubbornly, but his body clearly had had enough.

He pitched forward with a heave and at first, nothing came out. After a few seconds, a sickly burp brought up a wave of watery vomit that splattered on the synthetic rubber between his feet.

Maverick whimpered and he coughed up another mouthful of vomit, dangerously falling forward.

He was caught by a hand on his shoulder and a palm to his forehead that dramatically snapped away.

“Maverick! You burning up! Why the hell didn’t you say anything, you could have passed out or something!” Laurie yelped, patting Maverick back.

“I didn’t—“ Maverick muffled a burp into his fist before continuing. “I felt fine.. I can handle it.. it’s all.. it’s fine..”

“Like hell you are. We’re getting you home. Did you drive here?”

Maverick shook his head. “Biked.”

“In this rain?! Jesus christ Mav, no wonder you feel so shitty!”

As if to emphasize the point, Maverick leaned forward with a hiccup and brought up a small amount of puke, but his body had mostly run out of things to expel. The nausea was still relentless though, and. the fever sweats were worsening by the minute.

“Cam! Can I borrow your car? I’m gonna get this idiot back to his dorm. He biked here and I don’t think he has it in him to bike back,” Laurie yelled out towards the rest of the team, who were watching the situation with respectful distance.

Cameron said something, but Maverick wasn’t listening. An ugly feeling was festering deep within him. He didn’t need to be infantilized like this. Why couldn’t he just man up and deal with his problems on his own? He didn’t need to be taken care of like this. He was fine.

Cameron tossed his keys to Laurie, and Laurie slid an arm under Maverick’s shoulder to help him up, but Maverick lightly shoved him off.

“I can walk on my own.. I’m fine Laurie, you don’t need to stick around..” The words seemed mean, but Maverick said them with no venom. He just sounded like a wounded puppy, if anything.

“Mav.. it’s fine.. don’t worry about it so much, alright? You’re sick. You’re miserable. Let someone lighten the load. You’d do the same thing for me.” Laurie said softly, out of earshot of anyone else.

Maverick felt a lump in his throat grow at the sentiment. This was what it felt like to be cared for unconditionally. He could see now that Laurie wasn’t looking for ways to take advantage of his weakness or make fun of him. He genuinely wanted to help. He actually cared about him, and wanted to make things just a little bit easier on him.

He tilted his head down so Laurie wouldn’t catch the tears that slid down his fevered cheeks. The fever had to be getting to him. It had to be.

Laurie pulled Maverick’s arm around his shoulder and lead him to the parking lot outside the rink.

“Alright big guy.. let’s get you home.”

[aromanticsuzuya]

let me tell you guys about one of the first memories i ever got since coming to terms im me (which was a little while ago). it's pretty recent actually. i remember how i wrote it down in my kin journal and was very excited about it, because the more i wrote, the more detailed it became, since it started out very vague. it's not really an important memory or anything, but it's still kind of special to me.

here's what i wrote in my journal, just worded a little better this time:

"most of the memories that immediately come to mind when i think about them are actually sensations. my cheeks feeling 'rosy' from the cold, the smell of snow and rain, my fingers feeling numb from the harsh winter. it's nighttime, or at least the evening. the lights from nearby stores hurt my tired eyes. my hair gets in my face and i need to tuck it behind my ears with tired, clumsy fingers. my coat isn't warm enough. my legs hurt. everything hurts. i'm freezing, i want to go home and sleep and sleep and sleep. no CCG, no ghouls, just rest. i remember thinking about mama. but all that thought does is give me a headache and make me nauseous. i'm thirsty but i don't have any water on me".

originally writing it down was SO cool and SO exciting (even though it's not a particularly nice memory). remembering it all in detail again was very refreshing. its like i could actually FEEL the cold in my fingers and the soft fabric of my coat!!!!! i kind of miss it. if it wasnt for me freezing

i didn't write this down at the time, but i'm pretty sure i went home after that. home being a small, messy apartment. i can't tell you what i did once i was home, but i can tell you that my legs really hurt walking back through the snow, and i was convinced i was going to catch a cold.

[rnschneider]

ever since the night i changed weapons, i’ve been having the same dream about my brother. i have no clue why it’s been recurring, and i don’t know i feel so sick every time i wake up from it, but.. it doesn’t hurt to at least try and put it all into words.

so, i’m in the city, roaming through the streets as per usual, but rather than stalking through alleyways at night, i’m just freely going down in what feels like the afternoon. even in a dream, i can feel the sun’s rays on me like a warm embrace, and even if i start to sweat a little, the feeling is still nice.

thing is, i can hardly pay attention to the sensation once i realize what's on the walls of all the buildings i pass by. missing posters. all with an eerily detailed image of him—jaiden leblanc. about twenty years old. african male. six feet tall. last seen with a large wound stretching across his chest.

i don't know how much sense it makes for the injuries tara left him with to be a part of the missing report, but it only added to my guilt. knowing i left him bleeding to frolic off with tara, even if resonating with her actually feels like our souls were working as one, he's still my brother. i still abandoned him.

regardless, i start running. i run as fast as i can, and i don't even know what from. my eyes are shut, and i can hear my feet frantically hitting the concrete as i try to get away, get out, get somewhere—

and then the sounds of concrete stop. or more accurately, i hear grass instead. i open my eyes again, and find myself in a field. i have little desire to turn back around towards the city, so instead, i look up.

at first, it's simply a tree sat on a hill. then, i look up further.. and it's balloons. large balloons. big enough to hold a person. big enough to hold.. fuck.

i scramble up the hill and try to climb up the tree. i don't get high, but it's enough to grab onto a piece of string and hop down the tree to yank a balloon down. i'm panicked. i pull, and i pull, and i pull, and eventually, i'm staring at a silhouette in a yellow balloon.

without me even saying another word, it pops. it's jaiden, obviously. i don't know if it was luck or fate that brought him back to me here.

i stare at him. he just.. stands there. i remember his "expression" perfectly.. in quotes because his locs hide his eyes. i don't try to push them away from his face. i don’t think i should touch him at all.

normally, he always has some kind of smile on his face—a sneer, a grin, a smirk—but now, it's completely blank. i vaguely recall a look of fear on him when i caught a glimpse of his face as tara attacked him, but i was too caught up in the rush of something new and cool to even bother taking a second glance.

his face only gets worse as he starts coughing violently. instinctively, i want to back away, but my body refuses to move, even as i feel the blood he hacks up onto me staining my top. it's disgusting and disturbing—but like a car crash, or maybe a tornado, i just couldn't find it in me to look away.

his coughing isn't getting any better. i guess tara's attack did a lot of damage to him. he always seemed so strong on our missions, compared to me always being tired and drained—is this what he was really like all along? without a meister, no, a vessel to cling onto?

the display starts to get upsetting, and as jaiden starts to double over, i find it in myself to step back. i turn around to run back into the city, but something stops me in my tracks and i feel nauseous.

of course. if this really was a dream, why wouldn't there be some twin symbolism? as my brother falls, it makes sense for his sister to go down as well, and i realize for a second that our souls can never work as one, because that would imply they aren't already one in the same.

this guilt, this pain, this self-loathing doesn't just come from myself, and the cacophony of coughing helps me realize. even if i left him, i can never really abandon jaiden. we're stuck with each other. and as a pool of blood forms beneath me, it's not myself that i see in the reflection. it's him. and with that terrifying realization, i wake up, doomed to repeat the cycle again the next night.

[reaja]

man this round of covid is so much worse than the last. I am sufferin, y'all. My lungs huuuurt, my entire insides itch from deep in my ears to somewhere behind my lungs a cough cannot reach, my nose is runny and stuffy at the same time, my whole body hurts, my kidneys?? feel bruised, I'm dizzy, I'm thirsty and hungry but also not, I gotta cough but it doesn't satisfy anything and it also hurts, I gotta sneeze but when I do it hurts, I can't get comfortable, I feel restless, walking to the kitchen to make tea makes me feel like I've been up for days, I'm vaguely nauseous, I'm too tired to stand in the shower, keeping my arms raised long enough to brush my hair is impossible, every dish I my house is dirty. I am fully vaccinated so this is the reduced symptoms one gets with that protection. Egads.

[l1tw1ck]

whoops 🥰 (will proof read it in the morning, am tired)

Aether's hands shook as he tried to stop the bleeding, sobbing loudly as he ripped off another part of his shirt, pressing it to the open wound on his sister's stomach. The sight made him feel nauseous, but he couldn't turn his eyes away from her. Lumine coughed as she grabbed onto his arm, trying to push him away, but he stayed rooted by her side.

"Aether… there's no point," Lumine cut herself off, coughing up blood as she rested her head on his shoulder, blood dripping down her chin. "I won't make it."

"Shut up! You will!" Aether hissed through his teeth, pushing the fabric harder against her. He knew she was right, but a part of him foolishly clinged on to the hope that she'd be alright. Lumine winced at the pressure as she closed her eyes, sighing. Aether vaguely heard the sound of a door opening, but he couldn't turn away from Lumine. She needed him.

How had it ended up like this?

They had gone to Ajax's place to celebrate their graduation with their other classmates, and then… Someone had stumbled into the yard, looking sickly, their leg bent backwards. Someone had rushed forward, and the stranger bit them.

All hell broke loose seconds later.

When Aether, who had been upstairs changing clothes after getting pushed into the pool, came back into the yard, Lumine pushed him away from one of the infected and got bit right in the side with a scream.

Aether didn't know what happened after that. He had dragged her inside and cradled her close, trying to stop the bleeding and the way her skin was changing colours. He had heard Ajax somewhere along the lines, yelling about how it wasn't safe, but he couldn't move.

A gunshot rang in his ears and Aether flinched, holding his sister closer as his eyes darted around the room. A hand touched his shoulder and he screamed.

"Wait, Ae, it's just me!" Ajax said, hugging him gently, running his fingers through his hair. "One of those… things, almost got you." He whispered as he planted a kiss on his forehead.

"Aj, Lumine, she…" Aether looked at his sister, who could barely keep her eyes open. She reached a trembling hand to Ajax, grabbing his collar the way she always did whenever he was around them. It was all in good fun, threatening to put him down if he hurt Aether, but right now, her face had a different expression.

"You… better protect him, okay? I'm," Another cough. "Trusting you to protect him." Aether sobbed, combing his fingers through his sister's hair.

"Please don't speak anymore, Lumi. Y- you need all the energy you can get." He sobbed, leaning his forehead against hers. He knew it was futile, she wouldn't make it out of here, no matter how much he wanted her to. Even if she didn't turn, she had lost too much blood to be saved. Aether and Ajax had no medical experience, and they couldn't ask any of their friends who did when they had just left this awful place.

"I.. love you, Aether. I'm… so sorry." Lumine whispered as her grip of Ajax's collar slipped and her arm fell over his shoulder, her breathing slowing down as she closed her eyes. "Please, live… for both of us."

Aether grabbed her wrist, tears streaming down his face as he held her closer, sobbing louder. Arms wrapped around his waist, hair running through his hair, soft words were whispered to comfort him.

She was gone.

thjs is amazing, cap 👁️👁️ i love this so much 💜💜💜💜

are you gonna post this anywhere else?

[yllowpages]

[ nurse ] for one muse to take care of the other while they’re sick

Day Two in bed : she's getting real antsy. She's eaten maybe three things in the last forty-eight hours on account of whatever stomach bug decided to bring her daily life to a halt. ( Maybe it was a sign ... one big, very tired, very nauseous ' slow down! ' sign. ) Lia yawns and seems to sink even further down into the pillows and blankets she's buried under and surrounded by. Even if she's resting, nice and reclined on the couch, she has her laptop out and she's doing as much work as she can ( emails, emails, rewrites, rewrites — ) . Part of her is even fighting off sleep for some reason, so she's stopped paying attention to the movie on in the background.

But her eyes blink hard and shoot open when there's a heavy knock at the apartment door. She props herself up enough to glance at the door ( not that she can see through it ) and then she settles back down as she calls out, exhausted, ❝ If it's important, you know about the key! ❞ then returns her focus to her laptop screen. And for a second, there's nothing ... Then there's more knocking, but not on her door. Some talking she can't really make out and then finally she can hear the lock on her door being jostled. ( Maybe she should be more concerned about it, but she trusts her security system ; it's a tried and true method. )

She hears the door open and close. ' Your neighbor's really scary, did you know that? ' her guest notes. ( Brock. ) Lia smiles lightly to herself, still nestled down in her nest, apparently having used all of her remaining energy to look at the door. ❝ Good, because I'm literally trusting her with my life here, ❞ she responds. ❝ She's tough for being seventy-four with a bad hip — did you tip her, by the way? ❞ And she can almost sense his split second of confusion until he catches that it was a joke.

Before she knows it, Brock's at her bed- ( couch ) -side and asking how she's doing, to which she can give a vague noise and a shrug. She does, indeed, still feel like shit ... but it's nice to have a visitor. And he didn't come just to give her the ' get well ' schtick either, apparently ; he's holding a container of what looks to be soup — ' I thought you could use something to eat. ' She'll still ask ❝ Is that for me? ❞ though, almost incredulously. And right after his confirmation ( her heart melts a little ) , she has a follow-up question : ❝ Did you make it? ❞ He looks very proud of himself when he says ' yep ' and Lia can't help but let out a little, ❝ Aw .... ❞ She has this sort of regretful, puppy-dog look on her face — like she's sad.

❝ Thanks, ❞ is all she can muster out after that ( she's still working on the whole ' knowing how to respond when people are nice to her ' thing ) . ❝ But I think I have to — you know — pass ... for now ... ❞ Lia looks at him, apologetic ( she'll spare him the details of what happened the last time she tried to eat and drink anything other than dry crackers and water ) . She can't believe he came all the way over here ... just to give her soup ... She tries to sit up just a little bit more, pushing pillows with her elbow to support her back more. ❝ You wanna stay for the rest of the movie, though? ❞ She shuts her laptop, seeming just a little more awake now. ❝ I wouldn't mind some company. ❞ ( It's ' Die Hard ' , by the way. )

@decimatlas / brock emerson.

[r0manticthe0ry]

Really don't feel well today. I'm tired, vaguely nauseous, and just. Don't really know what to do 😭 rlly sick of this guys I feel so awful and I don't know how to fix it

[uselessboss]

Bonds(2/3)

She had grown scared of falling asleep.

Because her dreams were mostly plagued with nightmares that wouldn't let her forget every single thing that tormented her.

The chain of events that led her to become a pariah in the eyes of other people.

The ways she had failed Johannes by stepping on his feelings, being not good enough, not fast enough to save him from a horrifying end while she could only useless scream his name.

She hated this. So much.

When she was awake she could at least occupy her mind by distracting herself with work.

But when she was asleep such a respite didn't exist. She was defenseless against her worst demons that tortured her time and time again.

Like now.

She shut her eyes.

No matter how many times she was forced to watch this scene it never failed to make her nauseous and weak.

The color, the smell and the feeling of his blood in her arms.

The glassy eyes, devoid of life that kept staring her as she gathered the dismembered parts of his corpse.

“Please… Please…”

She prayed. She begged. Hoping to wake up from this awful dream.

“It's a nightmare Miller" a soft voice snapped her out of her prayer.

Who…?

Suddenly the blood, the haunted forest and Johannes' corpse disappeared.

In its place she felt as if she was enveloped only in warmth.

The murmurs of the voice still echoed inside the dream, like crystalline bells that purified the oppressive miasma of the air.

She closed her eyes again, this time trying to identify to who that voice belonged to.

Was it… Hunter?

It would make sense if it was him.

She thought back to an earlier memory, the first time she witnessed “it”.

She was used to see his frown(mostly because of his dislike towards her), but that day, as he tended to the trembling child they rescued she saw his soft features for the first time.

She heard his kind voice for the first time.

It left a deep impression on her and the more she got to see this side of his the more captivated she became.

It always left her in awe with how gentle and warm his touch was. Be it when treating her wounds, draping his blazer over her freezing body or simply holding her as she cried.

It made her feel safe.

She woke up from her dream.

Or perhaps she was still dreaming?

Because she could feel a hand brushing the hair from her face, carding through her hair, fingers feathery soft as they treaded the lines of her face, occasionally rubbing the tired muscles in her face to smooth her tension away.

It was so soothing that it almost made her want to go back to sleep again. She forced her eyelids to open anyway.

She blinked her eyes several times, trying to adjust her vision to her surroundings.

“Where… Where am I?”

“You feel asleep on your desk" Hunter explained. “I didn't want to wake you up because I thought you needed the rest"

“Hunter?” she lifted her gaze.

Lifted? Why was she staring at his face from this angl-

Oh.

Was she… Resting her head on his tight?

“If I was sleeping on the desk then why I'm laying down now?”

“That's…” Hunter flushes a bit “I thought it would be a more comfortable position for you to rest in"

“Well I have to agree. Your lap feels quite comfortable"

“Pfff-"

Hunter laughed at her joke.

Her eyes widened in surprise.

That had to be the first time she saw him laugh, and quite heartily at that. It looked good on him.

“That has to be the first time I ever saw you laugh Hunter"

“I guess I just got relieved to hear you joking again"

Ah. That's right.

It has been quite a while since they last had an interaction like this.

She spent so much time locked inside her own mind that she could barely remember much of what happened in the last days.

She thinks she remembers a vague memory of him calling out for her.

It was a memory in which she completely ignored him, as if she couldn't even register his existence.

She felt her stomach drop at that.

“I'm… Sorry for the last days" she gripped the fabric of the blazer, pulling it higher as her voice came out almost like a whisper. “It was just that…”

“Do you often get nightmares Miller?”

“Pardon?”

“You were having a nightmare about Johannes"

“I… Yes.”

“You two were really close right?”

“…After the incident the people I interacted with were divided mostly in two categories"

She took a deep breath.

“Those who looked at me like a monster that should be feared". She winced. “…Or a vile creature to loathe and destroy”

This time it was Hunter who winced.

“Johannes did neither" her voice went soft. “He actually looked at me like I was someone worth of respect and that meant a lot to me" And not only that.

“He also appeared in an uncertain time of my life. when I struggled to be a leader and no one was willing to teach me the ropes of the job except him.”

She couldn't be grateful enough.

“I could never repay everything he did for me"

And yet…

“… When he inquired me about the veracity of the rumors about his substitution I got scared"

“Of him wanting to leave?” Hunter asked. She shook her head.

“No. I was scared of myself. Scared because the first thing that popped up in my mind was how I didn't want to let go of him.” She smiled bitterly. “I got so shaken by the realization that I could wish for something so selfish and greedy that I tried to deny it with all my heart, blinding myself to everything else in the process"

Because that meant that there was a merit to the pain inflicted on her.

"If you allow me to say something"

Hunter snapped her out of her reverie.

"What you did was terribly unnecessary"

"Huh?"

"Sacrificing yourself and your happiness I mean". Hunter pointed. " People aren't so weak to require such a steep price to be paid, and lest of all the people under your care"

He coughs, cheeks acquiring color.

"You handpicked us because you saw what we were capable of right? Which means we should be capable of handling this much Miller". he flicks her forehead. "You are allowed to think about your needs more often you know?"

"But...!"

"Do you honestly think this is a fair trade off?" Hunter frowns. "That you have to be the one to bend the knee and give something away every single time?"

"..."

"If you keep taking away pieces of you like that you will simply... Crumble".

He places his hand on top of her bandaged one, lightly squeezing it to make a point but also mindful enough to not upset any wounds under it.

How odd.

Because this wasn't a question she was asked often she also didn't know how to answer it either.

"You have my number right Miller?"

"Yes, as it's required of me to have the contact of every single member of my unit"

"Then if you have a nightmare again... No. If you need something or if there's anything bothering you then don't hesitate to call me ok?"

"Wouldn't it become inconvenient to you?"

"I was the one to bring this up, so no, it won't be".

He pauses, as if he was considering something.

"Just to make this very clear I'm not doing this out of pity or guilty. I'm doing this because that's my selfish desire to do so".

He looks to the side, flushing.

"Truth to be told I missed the time we spent together late at night even if it mostly involved reading through papers" Miller could practically picture steam coming out of him by now. "So I think it would be nice to have something like that again, albeit in a way that won't jeopardize your health this time"

"I will think about it" she concedes, managing to smile at him and for once meaning it. "Thank you Hunter"

Andrews.

Her old partner.

She had cut ties with Andrews in order to protect him from all the slander and backlash he would have experienced from being associated with her at that time.

But had he really needed her protection in the first place?

Thinking back to it he DID say he would go through it for her sake, so it wasn't something extra for her to worry about on top of everything else she was going through.

Was she also that keen to cut ties with him too?

Despite what she told Andrews she still had his contact and didn't consider even once the idea of erasing it.

She thinks back to everything Hunter told her.

She grips her phone harder.

Hunter was right.

Why was she the one to have to sacrifice everything? Have things be taken away from her? What did she do to deserve this misery?

Maybe it was the opposite.

In order to be subdued she was manipulated to feel helpless, weak and isolated so she could be easily preyed on and took advantage of.

The trauma of the event still held a strong hold over her.

This was why she had such a hard time in trusting people and was quick to believe that they would hurt her.

This was why she meekly let things be taken away from her as she thought of herself as not strong enough to protect what she held dear.

What she needed...

She was lonely. She was scared. She was deeply hurt.

She needed to feel safe.

She tapped the screen.

"...It has been a while Andrews"

She still couldn't believe it.

It was nerve wracking but she was glad she got the courage to take the leap.

"I could barely believe my ears when I heard your voice again" Andrews grinned.

"I can't thank you enough for going along with my selfish request. Thank you Andrews"

"On the contrary. I am glad to finally be able to fulfill my promise to you". He smiled. " But I have to ask, what made you change your mind?"

"...Some things happened and it has been too much for me to handle on my own"

"... I thought as much." He frowned in concern. "Would you mind telling me about it?"

She nodded and told her old partner everything.

About her struggles to adapt to her position of leader, about the isolation, fear and hatred she faced from her peers...

And about Johannes.

How they met, how they became close to each other and how everything fell apart because she was careless and inconsiderate, hurting him and driving him to meet a horrifying death.

How guilty and miserable she felt afterwards.

"You went through quite a lot huh?"

"Yes" she sighed, feeling drained over examining her pain all over again. "If it wasn't for Hunter being there for me I honestly would have broken down by now"

"Who's Hunter?"

"Ah. That was another person that became important to me" the pain in her face subsided, being replaced with a soft and fond smile. " At first we weren't in good terms but he grew to be someone dear to me, he really helped me a lot"

"Is that so?" he arched an eyebrow.

"Yes. He's a wonderfully kind and considerate person" she felt a warm feeling in her chest just by thinking of him. "I feel safe around him".

"Truth to be told I only got the courage to seek your help because of Hunter." Miller rubbed the back of her neck, cheeks slightly tinted pink. "I could only admit how much I was in need of help thanks to him"

"....Yeah I think I can accept that" Andrews murmurs to himself.

Then he smiles, a bit more genuine.

"Anyone that can make my dear partner smile like that has already earned my sympathy and friendship".

"Thank you again Andrews"

"At least he sounds miles better than the earlier bitch you mentioned"

"ANDREWS!"

[flexmains]

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