#I enjoy that JanMal is either very passive ''I'm just existing near you and that's enough for me'' or ''I need to be IN your ribcage NOW''

[greymouse42]

alright!!! What Malachi would do if stuck in an elevator with: -Myles -Maria -Skeeter -Jan Separately, and then bonus ask of the entire knockoff mystery gang! And then bonus bonus for Lyons. Sorry this is such a long ask but it's worth it i promise

HELLO this was very funny and I jumped on it immediately.

Myles → Myles has a multitool in his pocket and this is the moment that Mal goes “oh man I should really carry a multitool in my pocket.” They are breaking into the access panel within minutes, and I don't think they can get the elevator working again but they do have fun.

Maria → They have a really nice conversation. After pressing the emergency help button (like reasonable people), I think they both go “thank God, a break,” and sit down and Maria gets to explain the plot of whatever serial drama she's watching or has Mal commiserating over whatever latest conspiracy theory her nephew believes in. They both come out of it going “man we should grab coffee sometime, that was pleasant.”

Skeeter → same as Myles but Mal doesn't say a word the whole time and doesn't have fun, but Skeeter does actually get the elevator working again.

Jan → doesn't even make it to the emergency button… that's a meme answer — the actual answer is that it should be totally fine. Long silences with Jan are usually comfortable. But they're both usually doing something. The combo of “we're stuck” and “there is nothing to do” and “it feels like we should be talking but neither of us want to do that” and “it's hot in here—” could very quickly lead to…. /hand wave/

Knockoff Mystery Gang → Mal is wedged in the corner spectating/refereeing and pretending he's not as insane as the rest of these weirdos. He's on Maria's side no matter what she decides to do.

Lyons → 40 minutes of Lyons trying to talk Malachi out of climbing up the elevator shaft, interspersed with a few minutes of silence whenever she thinks she's successfully convinced her feral ferret of a partner to not climb up the elevator shaft, are you insane. Unstoppable Force meets Immovable Object argument. There's only, like, 12 years between them but Lyons is feeling Every Single One Of Those Years for the 40 minutes she's trapped in an elevator with this man. She comes out of the situation thinking that Mal must be moderately claustrophobic. Mal was honestly just bored and likes arguing recreationally.