#I ended up getting a job at the cinema since they don't ask for experience and most uni students (like me) work there

[gojonanami]

Does the idea of househusband gojo inetrest you? 👀👀👀 yes it does omg — imagine gojo as a househusband - he’d be such a simp for his partner like — oh the envy of every person who sees him picking up their kids… I love it #sab [asks] #sab [anons] #pls send me asks about this I’m obsessed

in an alternate universe, sukuna and kenjaku are defeated and satoru is alive.

satoru has lived his whole life being a sorcerer. he lived in a vacuum of a society – almost as though he was living in a parallel universe.

and so, in this universe, the ultimate result of the merger is the following: cursed energy gets absorbed and, as such, sorcerers are eradicated.

and so, you end up using this as a way of telling satoru that he needs a break, and, as a result, he ends up becoming a househusband.

why? because why not?

you may have a job you like.

say, as a result of jujutsu, you accumulated knowledge regarding curses/mythology/psychology in various forms of media ranging mosaics to cinema, and you decided to become a professor and teach on that topic? well, now you can, and you don't have to worry about jujutsu any longer! it's a thing of the past.

or, say, your true passion was business and finance? well, now you can! now, you get to live out your dreams of being a hot boss woman in a world full of finance bros.

or maybe your dream was to become an artist, and you never had the time to properly dedicate time for it, but, guess what, now you can! and perhaps you end up making works that reference the curses that you've seen or the experiences that you felt, and you may wish to translate them via oil paint or video art or even performance art, and somehow, perhaps because it's so familiar yet unfamiliar, your work gets popular and disseminated, and even awarded? who knows?

regardless, now, the world is your oyster! nothing is holding you back.

and you want satoru to take a break.

you gently encourage him, perhaps, by first suggesting that it's a temporary arrangement.

but regardless, even in this world of jujutsu that is of the past, satoru has accumulated so many years of work due to being a special grade sorcerer that he has accumulated years of exhaustion. and what ends up being a temporary arrangement of him getting rest for his efforts turns into a semi-permanent arrangement. perhaps.

and while you worked a lot, too, you didn't work in the same way that satoru did when he was a sorcerer. although, to some, it may look like satoru mucked about, he didn't. while juggling responsibilities as a teacher, he also had to tackle and cover a huge number of missions in the whole of Japan as well as abroad. that is one mission after another after another with little to no breaks. perhaps none at all. that is not to dismiss your efforts, of course, but to contextualise them.

meanwhile, you encourage him to try out the things that he might like – be it baseball or singing or something else entirely. or maybe get back into teaching? later?

and so, this marks a foray into the world of satoru the househusband – sorcerer extraordinaire of the past, and househusband extraordinaire of the present.

what comes later? who knows! cats? dogs? children? parrots? a house with a view by the sea? a trip to see giotto & his bottega's frescoes at assisi? or a trip to the andes mountains? a couples' retreat in phuket?

regardless, you take it easy and go with the flow.

and you encourage satoru to take it easy.

did you read my mind?? I literally was thinking this — set exactly after the end of jjk omg. I love this — and he would struggle so much, after being held to such expectations and being forced to work all the time — he wouldn’t know what to do with himself. He probably would even get depressed and anxious — and then eventually he would get used to it.

And oh my god if you had kids, he would be so excited to stay home and play and take care of them— he wouldn’t even want you to work since he’s rich, but if you wanted to, he wouldn’t be opposed

[mrslittletall]

I got tagged by @heraldofcrow, thank you very much!

Are you named after anyone? Actually yes. A character from the old drama show Dallas. She died in the show. I don't know if the actress is still alive.

When was the last time you cried? Since the thing with my husband happened it is easier to ask when I not cry. I am crying a lot. I think the last time I really bawled my eyes out where after I failed Laxasia so much in Lies of P. Of course that was only the catalyst. I was upset about different things but that made me lie down in bed and cry myself to sleep.

Do you have kids? No. I wanted to have a child once. We tried for it. It didn't work. Then my husband got sick. I decided that I don't want children anymore. Next time at the gyn I am discussing solutions so that I don't have to worry to get pregnant. Sometimes I still feel a little bit sad about it.

Do you use sarcasm a lot? Yes. I use sarcasm a lot. It just happens. I don't even know how to stop it.

What sports do you play? At the moment nothing, but once my husband is fine again, I hope we can pick up ballroom dancing agian.

What’s the first thing you notice about people? Normally I see someone in their face that I can focus on, like a mole or a wart or a scar. My eyes always go there first. Don't ask me why.

What’s your eye colour? Green.

Scary movies or happy endings? Both. Both are good.

Any special talents? I am good at organizing stuff. For some reason.

Where were you born? In a town in my home country of Germany.

What are your hobbies? Video games, writing, reading, drawing, collecting anime and manga, visiting the cinema (best way to experience movies), role playing.

Do you have any pets? Yes, my darling cats named Clara (the orange one) and Geraldina (the tortie one).

How tall are you? 5'7''

Favourite subject in school? I really liked English and French. English is not my native language, so not the English you native speakers imagine ^^

Dream job? That train has left the station. But if I could choose, I would like to work in a library. I am tagging... @justbabyme @modounbubble @nightmaredaisy

[daincrediblegg]

okay your turn if nobody else has asked: TOP FIVE JH CHARACTERS GO

... girl... how does one choose? how does one??? when there are so many beautiful boys??? ok. OK I'll give it a shot.

5. Captain Crow - The Sea Beast This film is just incredible on every front. One of my favorite concept artists worked on it (which I did not know until a few weeks ago but now that I know I feel like kicking myself because I REALLY SHOULD HAVE KNOWN THEIR STYLE WELL ENOUGH BY NOW). But I remember watching this, and screaming when the credits began to roll because WAIT?!?!?! THAT WAS JARED HARRIS??? OH!!! WHAT A DELIGHT!!! I LOVE THAT GUY!!!! (oh babygirl wait a few months it's gonna hit you so bad). He's great. I hope we see more of him in the sequel that would be great for me.

4. Hari Seldon Honestly. What a little shit. "But Egg," you might ask "If he's such a little shit why is he on here?" well. He's hot. Really I am not over how hot this dude is. I know I couldn't fix him not in a million years. But idk. Something about him always makes my brain go brrr. So he's on here. Also I just love how fucking atypically written this show is and I have a wee soft spot for asimov. They didn't have to cast Jared as Hari and make him unbelievably hot. But they did. And he's so enigmatic. I love that.

3. John Lennon Egg's love for Jared Harris Origins. I was a Beatles girlie, ok? I'm not ashamed to admit that. It was my introductory fandom experience at the ripe old age of baby, and I really ate it up. I remember going into this movie being like "oh it's some dumb TV movie about John and Paul how good can it be?" Very good, as it turns out. And having assigned myself a John Lennon girlie I literally could never get over this depiction. The mannerisms, the fucking tripped-out way he philosophizes in conversation, the softness, and ofc the old friends tension. Jared got it all. Of course I'd seen him in stuff here and there, but this was the one that cemented him as a beloved actor in my mind for me (I literally re-wound the kiss scene as well like 20 times don't judge me but that awakened some stuff in me). Been following him ever since.

2. Lane Pryce - Mad Men This dude broke me for real. I didn't get into Mad Men until college, and binged it all on my friend's hulu account. And lemme tell ya. Did NOT see his final episode coming. Did not. And it made me genuinely weep. He was a highlight in the show. He was one of the only guys I could actually say is a good dude in that show, and he deserved so much better than he got in the end. I look at him and I'm just like... leave ur wife. Leave your job. Lets just go out of this capitalistic hellscape. I want to make him Well. I will love him forever for how he just completely destroyed me.

1.Francis Crozier / Valery Legasov - HA! you thought I was not going to tie them? WRONG! I can't keep these bad bitches apart.

Francis really needs no explanation at this point. I am so actually genuinely in love with him I'm writing a whole ass gothic romance novel of a fic for him, as you all know (and which has summarily turned out a BANGER of a modern AU as well). I made a bloody self-insert oc for him. Gothic Cinema is literally my favorite genre and Francis is the most Gothic Hero of all time, honestly (well besides Valery obviously). The serotonin he continually gives me makes my meds redundant. He is my sweet husband who I love with my whole life and that's that.

And Valery? sorry you can't put a babygirl of a man like that in front of me and not expect that I would want to jump his bones like? Not only is the constant existential dread relatable, but as much as people tell him he's not brave, he IS without a doubt, and honestly, just by virtue of uttering the most iconic logline ever fucking created he deserves this spot on this list. Both of these dudes make my soul ascend in a certain way not just with how brilliantly they were written, but with how incredibly Jared executed them (for which I want to kill the academy for not giving him awards on either). Top Beloveds forever and ever and ever amen.

[nightcall99]

Dreams from 15.9.24

Dream 1: A student asked me what I thought about my job. I struggled to answer her because I can see everything now and didn't know how to express how my I felt. All she wanted to know was what I felt about pharmacy in general but I couldn't fake some NPC answer. I went on about nothing for awhile, I basically gave an answer that didn't mean anything at all and I don't think she even noticed. MN and another student were there too. It felt weird and empty. I kept feeling bad like I didn’t answer her question satisfactorily.

Dream 2: I was in the cinema sitting in the audience. It was totally dark, like pitch black. A film was about to start. I had my bag on the seat that was to the right. People were still coming in and getting to their seats and I didn't want someone to accidentally sit on top of my bad. I hesitated since I knew that holding my bag would detract from my viewing experience a bit. I did grab the bag in the end, and held it on my person.

Dream 3: I was with AL. We were hanging out in a shopping mall. Just passing time, I guess. I was waiting for some food. Were we about to watch a film? Yes. An anime film. It was a very small cinema, like an indie one that only shows anime.

Dream 4: I just arrived at the train station, the one that was closest to school. School starts at 9am, it must have been about 8am. I had to get ready for class. I hadn't even washed my face yet but before getting ready, I wanted to go grab a coffee. I met up with someone who I think was my girlfriend. I think hey had just arrived too (it's some random person who I don't know but I keep thinking this figure is a stand in for AL). There was a coffee shop near the station which we went to. It seemed a bit busy and didn't look so good, I mean train station cafes are hardly ever good. My next door neighbour was there being horrible to the workers. They must have misplaced her coffee and she was yelling, saying she refused to pay for another one because the coffee here is trash. We walked past this place, opting to go somewhere else. I saw another cafe place nearby but that place didn't seem good enough to me. I set my sights on something that could possibly be down the street, thinking back to my memory if there was something better available around the corner. I didn't think so. I took my girlfriend's hand in mine and we took a walk anyhow.

I spotted a new little shop behind a fence. It looked hipster, just my stye and I thought we should try it. I wanted to wash my face first (I guess, get a head start on getting 'ready') at the drinking fountain but that would mean that we would have to walk a little further and it'd take longer to get our coffees so I decided we would just get the coffee first. I started chatting to my girlfriend. I was trying to talk to her about my dreams about the New Earth. I wanted to tell her that there is a different, better Earth out there but I'm not sure she understood. The she says she has dreams about a different Earth too. I think she knew too but not to the extent that I did. I also told her that I have dreams where we are overseas, in a different country. I said, I had a dream we went somewhere but it was just for a few days. She seemed interested by this. We must have been walking the path back to the train station. I saw metal fences on either side of us. Then out of nowhere, something happened. Like a meteor or a bomb hit, I dunno what. AL or whoever, turned in a man. She let go of my hand and turned into a male, rolled into a ball and almost somersaulted to safety. I just kind of stood there, unfeeling, while the calamity was happening. I felt more stunned than anything that all of sudden we had been holding hands and she went off within a split-second, looking out for herself like that. What about me?

Dream 5: I was in bed. I had woken up. I heard voices coming from my phone. Your voices, from the group. Someone was saying something in response to something CA had posted, or like a voice message. Something like, Oh that'll change things, and making comments at how big it was etc. I reached for my phone. Seems like there was a group video call happening and that's how I could hear everyone's voices. I went into the TG app but but looking at the app your automatically dial in to join the phone call but I hadn't wanted to do that. I exited out and this happened a couple of times. I just wanted to read the chat like normal, not do a video call. Idk why the app was doing this.

It seemed like you guys were all together. I could see everyone in a room hanging out it felt like it was happening in a different country. Maybe y'all were on holiday together or whatever it was, you were enjoying each other's company. For some reason it felt like I couldn’t reach you guys anymore. Things felt different. I kept trying to access the previous messages it's like they had all disappeared. There wasn't even any option to view them. I did find the messages eventually but it was set up weird like on an excel spreadsheet. The font was really small and you had to drag the cursor sideways to read the convo. Mort was talking about some pharmacy stuff and it felt like everyone else was just saying NPC stuff. I was kinda freaking out because I felt that I couldn't reach you guys anymore. I didn’t know how to contact you in the way that we had been doing before. I felt alone.

I just wanted to know what had happened. Was there an update that caused this? Then I was flipping through something, like a magazine. But also it was a conversation that had been happening between everyone. Not just people in the group, but people we didn't know but were still in our 'group' per se, on the same journey or whatever. Someone was talkin about the suburb where I live and work. They were talking a particular bean salad they used to buy. I wanted to respond to them. I wanted to say Oh! I used to frequent King George's too and got that exact salad too. I wanted to connect. Who was it? It was girl. Around my age. Her name was Kirsten or Kristen something and the surname was like Weir. There was an article about her in the magazine, full colour and gloss, her smiling face. The article, was the conversation. She was in our group and lived in my suburb. I had never known it, never seen her before. She seemed like an NPC from the outsider's perspective. I realised I must have served her at work once or twice because the name was oddly familiar. I wanted to contact her, know her. I thought we could be friends perhaps. Then I saw that a bunch of people were talking about my suburb, even Mort, as if they knew where it was or knew everything about it like I did. They were making comments in a sentimental tone like "Good old ____"

[pascalina]

The brothers' movie

11/07/2015

They don't use the same last name, but they are siblings. Pedro Pascal (40) the Chilean actor who starred in Game of Thrones and now has a starring role in the Netflix series Narcos, uses his mother's surname because it is easier to pronounce in English. 17 years younger, Lucas Balmaceda Pascal (23), also an actor, debuted in Los 80 and today stars in the TVN series Juana Brava. Here, both talk for the first time about their relationship, their love for cinema and their mutual admiration.

José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal was born in Chile, but a few months later he had to go into exile with his parents and his older sister, Javiera, to Denmark. It was the end of 1975. Thanks to the Rockefeller scholarship granted for his father, the doctor José Balmaceda Riera, a year later they moved to the United States: first they lived in San Antonio, Texas. Life there was just beginning and it was not easy.

Seventeen years later, in 1992, Lucas Balmaceda was born in Orange County, California, into the comfort of a family that was financially in its prime. His dad was at the peak of his career: as a fertility specialist and director of one of the University of California's reproductive health centers. But suddenly they moved back to Chile when Lucas was three years old and his brother Nicolas was eight. The two older ones stayed there. Pedro was already studying drama at Orange County High School of the Arts. Then he went to New York to study theater at the Tisch School of the Arts at New York University.

After a couple of small appearances in TV series, in 2014 he took the big leap in his career: he played Prince Oberyn in Game of Thrones, which made him world famous. Today, he has a starring role in the series Narcos. He is also filming a movie with Matt Damon and Willem Dafoe.

Fame came early for Lucas. After leaving Saint George High School in 2010, he studied theater at the Universidad Católica, and he began to shine: in year fourth, he starred in the theater play "La noche obstinada", by choreographer Pablo Rotemberg, and got a role in the successful television series Los 80 and today, in his last year, he is the co-star of Juana Brava, the new TVN nighttime series.

Scene one:

Lucas appears in Pedro's life

P: "I was 17 when Lucas was born. He was a baby when I left to go to university. I remember my first visit back and Lucas, who was not even two years old, was already the owner of the house. I remember those looks, wanting to tell me: 'I don't know who you are, but this is my house, mate.

To this day I have never seen that personality in another child. It was fascinating to see that wit in someone so small. Since he was a kid he had that fierce intelligence... The four siblings, Javiera, the eldest and the queen of the family; Nicolas, the doctor; Lucas and I are like a compact and consistent unit. I can't imagine life without them".

L: "Pedro was studying at the university in New York when I was born. When he went home for vacations to see the family, as I didn't know him, I thought: 'who is this guest, who is this weirdo who kisses my mother? She's mine!'. Back in Chile, every year Pedro came to visit us. It was the most entertaining thing in the world for me. He was much older and he would come with all the coolness, with all the culture of cinema, with horror movies that were not available here. Then we would watch them and play them out, we would do sketches. We would play that Pedro was a murderous monster and we would escape from him. We were each a character. He was very funny, he did voices, he impersonated people. He gets mad when I tell him, but I've always found that he has a Jim Carrey thing about him, he manages to make some impressive faces. When he came on, I couldn't stop watching him, he was too entertaining. We are all big movie buffs thanks to my dad. When I was three years old, he took my brothers and me to see Batman. I remember crying hysterically. I was very young, sensitive, and being in the cinema was like entering to another reality: loud noises, giant screen. I didn't understand anything.

Scene two

Transplanted

P: "What's Chilean about me and what's gringo about me is a very interesting question, because I don't think even at 40 years old I've been able to figure it out. I was raised and educated in the United States and socialized a lot with American pop culture, but Chilean pride has always been unwavering. My parents were exiled for eight years. So our visits to Chile were regular. My whole life I have lived in the United States and my whole life I have visited my relatives in Chile. However, since my siblings were raised in Chile, my connection to the country is much stronger today and it is something I am grateful for. Something that happens to me a lot is that when I say I've been in the U.S. my whole life, they say, "Well, you're a gringo then! And after a conversation in my fluent Spanish with a clear Chilean accent that same person turns around and says: I've been listening to you, you're Chilean!

L: "I am Chilean because I lived and grew up here since I was three years old, but at the same time I have a cultural disconnection: my parents lived 25 years in the United States, my brothers are gringos. My visual culture is super gringo, the TV shows I watched when I was a kid or the movies I watch to this day I understand them from that place: as an American. More than being born in the United States, I feel it's because of my family's background".

SCENE THREE:

The performance

P: "There were good years and bad years (when I started my acting career in the United States). Many years I was a waiter to supplement my income. But from a very young age I was auditioning for professional jobs. In my late twenties my career in the theater was relatively consistent. Then, when opportunities in television arose, I was consolidating and it became much easier to pay my expenses. I think that struggle, going through those situations, empowers you a lot and it's one of the things I'm enormously grateful for. And Game of Thrones was an incredible gift. It's the best role I've ever played and they're the best people I've ever worked with."

L: "It's Pedro's fault that I wanted to be an actor. But when I told him I wanted to study theater it was hard for him, more than anything, because he cares about me and studying theater is hard. You have to be very wise and have a super high self-esteem to take care of yourself. Pedro went through many things. If there is an actor who doesn't have contacts in the United States, it's him. Everything he has achieved is because of his work. That's why when people ask me why I don't go to the U.S., it's a resounding no. Being Pedro Pascal's little brother is not going to get me around the corner; I would have to be Tom Cruise's twin to achieve anything. Even so, Pedro had many failed career starts. In 2011, for example, he was offered a starring role in a series called Wonder Woman and it was eventually canceled. That's why, when Games of Thrones came up, I was like, wow! We were all freaking out, because Games of Thrones is like a worldwide trending topic. All the episodes he was in, we were all watching them together at my house, eating pizza or sushi."

SCENE FOUR:

Mutual lessons

P: "I try not to get too involved in anything Lucas does or how he does it. He has single-handedly created each of his experiences and is one of the most inspiring things I've ever seen. He loves his work and is continually developing his skills for television and theater, and eventually film. He executes like a real artist and, to be honest, it is more common for me to learn something from him than for him to learn something from me. I mean that very sincerely. Lucas reminds me to work hard and keeps me inspired. When I saw him in Los 80 I was incredibly proud, but not surprised. I was seeing something I had always known. The only advice I've given him is to not be such a workaholic, to take care of himself and to be proud of what he's accomplished and what he still has yet to accomplish. Deep down, I'm always going to be the protective big brother."

L: "Pedro is an object of admiration for me. What he says is law for me. Sometimes I ask him: 'Pedro, did you see that movie?' and he says: 'Yes, I didn't like it'. I tell him: 'Oh, I didn't like it either'. The nice thing about our relationship is that it happens so sporadically, once or twice a year, that the moments when we see each other are very intense. We either fight a lot or we love each other too much, but it's always like a story, like a movie. While he's there and I'm here, we talk a lot on WhatsApp and Facebook".

P: "With Lucas we always keep each other up to date on what movies to watch, what TV shows are good. I bug him all the time asking him about what's going on in his life and I'm always asking him about his perspective on things. Despite being away from each other for a long time, Lucas and I are very close and always have been. I see Lucas at the beginning of an amazing career, with an unwavering curiosity and passion. I love it when he confides in me about things he is enjoying or situations he is dealing with."

L: "I've never seen Pedro in theater, but I've been told he's tremendous. On camera, I find that he has a very intense look. He also has, and in that we are very similar, a very strong visual culture, the fact that we have always liked horror movies. He plays characters that hide something, dark characters. A great strength is that he is very sensual, he knows how to handle himself well from seduction".

P: "Lucas is brave, he's fearless. There's nothing he's not willing to try, he's never going to give up on a challenge, he's never going to leave something halfway, no matter what that means to him. Lucas is unstoppable.

Link interview

[lucidpantone]

Ok I totally get your point and your anger toward Wtfock "big" bosses and I also agree with you but one thing you might not be agree with me and I totally understand is that at some point we need to move on from s4, they didn't give a fuck to give us pocs the importance we need, but is not just their own fault, IF we really want a change then why we pocs still accepting working with this people? Why we pocs keep consuming their trash?; If we all keep on just complaining but we don't do something then there's no point, if we all are realistic with ourselves specially us pocs we should stop watching since Kato was announced as main, Noa probably read the script so he could have said no, Nora could also said something about it maybe ask for an apology from them to us before keep on going with next season, I totally understand is not that easy because they have a contract, they are working and those jobs gives them food, they are young and wathever else you want to add but on a matter like this one just extreme reactions like this one could make the change happen. Now a lot of people says they gonna watch for Nora to support her and I'm one of those but the truth is we shouldn't keep on consuming this content after the disrespect they portrait and they still probably gonna keep on portraying even with Nora there and the white allies I love them but once the season starts we all gonna be here watching and discussing the type of content still makes privilege grow and put our lives on risk and if you see things on their side they don't have any debt with an audience already forgive them or forget when the cute couples post and if they already talked it with the cast.

Since you have disclosed that you are a person of color am going to address you specifically and very differently. I don't know how old you are.... I hope you’re young so you have alot of runway to grow and really start analyzing and evaluating the world around you and the game thats at play that you never even signed up for but we’re born into. When you utter this phrase “I totally understand is that at some point we need to move on from s4″ it actually breaks my heart a little because you are so unaware of how society has conditioned you into identifying problematic behavior that hurts you but has groomed you into just shrugging your shoulders and saying well “its not gonna change anything. 

So I guess I’ll just take the abuse and keep it moving” and the grooming of problematic contentment begins at an early age and is slowly spoon fed into your cognitive behavior. So eventually you get to a place where you utter the exact phrase you just did “well I know I have been abused but [I] should move on and [I] (the victim) should let it go”. Ask yourself why are you so content to allow feelings of hurt to be pushed around? Why do you shrug your shoulders? Why do you present the idea (that you yourself know is controversial) like allowing your voice to whimper off when you are in the right? Also lets get a few things strait. Noa and also Romi because lets get all the facts out there did not read this script and okay it. The original season just presented an influencer (Kato) falling for her rival (Moyo). Thats it. They were no racial undertones to that relationship in the script. However the big bosses of wtfock thought they would try shelve out some performative wokeness and made their first time inexperienced white female writer try to write about really complex racial topics she had no experience with literally write them on the fly. They were modifying the script as the season filmed so no Noa never agreed to this script. Also another point, “Nora could also said something about it” she did say something tho. At the beginning of the season and then at the end. Also Noa specifically has commented like 4 times at minimum at how unhappy s4 made him and also when he won that award he didnt thank production or his crew Noa went out of the way to thank the fans. No other person on that s4 team would have thanked the fans but Noa because we spent all season dragging the crew for their shit and Noa thanked the fans in his speech. He did what Rutgers refuses to do which is acknowledge the fans. He said “the fans are most important”, let that sink in why he chose those words. Also you say “lets move on”, lets find a way to break bread but you know what not moving on did for Nora’s season? Don't you wonder why the last addition to the balloon squad is a black guy? Why the balloon squad is bigger than any other balloon squad that has ever been created? Why Yasmina’s noora character is also woc and muslim too. Why Noa was the person sent out to pick up that award even tho he wasnt the main of s4? Why moyo isn’t in the fight scene anymore? Why these white dudes have privately apologized to Noa for their bullshit and now you see Rutgers publicly saying on the gram that “Noa deserves the world”. All those actions are a results of the fandom not moving on and hounding these people to change and wearing them down and of course their changes are always surface but they are noticeable. So lets close this theology session out. There is a saying americans voice often which is “don't hate the player, hate the game”. Meaning just because the odds are stacked against you doesnt mean you shouldn’t support the players within the system trying to break through. There has only ever been two women in the entire history of cinema to win an academy award for best director and one foreign production team to win best picture. If people took the notion of well the academy awards are racist (which they are) why even try? None of these people would have even broke the ceiling. Support the players because at the end of the day they are just trying to identify a weakness in the system. Never stop fighting for them because if they win, we all win. I once heard a quote that has stayed with me for a long time. When all the heroes in a story don't look like you, you can never picture yourself as the hero. So dare to dream anon, and be the hero.

[disfordevineaux]

I don't know if you've done this before. But, do you have any Chase headcanons about his childhood or early teens? I'm kinda curious about how my favorite disaster boi could've been like back then 🤔

Chase childhood/teen/early 20s headcanons

I actually answered an ask I will link HERE with a little bit into what I think about his whole ‘growing up’ situation, if you can even call it that. I’ll delve a bit deeper into my hcs but I recommend you read that post I linked. It establishes my thoughts on his childhood to where a lot of these hcs will spawn from. So essentially this is a Part 2 of my Chase childhood headcanons. Going to focus on his late teens and early 20s.

As stated in my previous hcs Chase was an ‘orphan’ until his uncle (his mothers older brother) who magically showed up to adopt him for the government checks. His uncle was a long haul fisherman or something along those lines. This is where he officially received his last name of Devineaux once again.

I have a feeling his name wasn’t originally Chase. That being most likely his middle name or one he came up with which he changed to be his first, either shortened from something or just as is. He seems like an Alexandre to me. He would have negative connotations towards that name and preferred to decide a name a for himself rather than keeping the given name from a mother or family who didn’t really want him. He would have changed it once he left home.

No matter the living situation he was in, there wasn’t a lot of money around and if there was it wasn’t shared with him.

The majority of his teen years or the years that sculpted him into who he is now were in a town North-West of Paris along the coast. Somewhere like Dieppe, a fishing-port town.

You’d think by looking at him as an adult he was a bully or one of those ass hats at school who tried to be cool by being a dipstick or forcing a ‘class clown’ motif. In reality, he did everything in his power to blend into the shadows as he hated school, especially the social aspect of it.

Still, he was a sarcastic little shit when needed.

Spent a lot of his time outside or working dead-end jobs. Sometimes couldn’t return home or had to get into his house through a window instead of the front door.

Didn’t have many valuable possessions but had many crazy experiences like witnessing a flock of birds attack a drunk man, and won.

Was strangely optimistic about his future. Couldn’t get any worse than this, yeah? Yeah, it can and it will buddy.

Did watch Footloose religiously and intensely enjoyed it. *Wink*

He was reasonably good at school and tried to fast track it and graduate a year early. His application was accepted even with the few blemishes on his school academic report thanks to a few fights he partook in.

He was best at literature, English studies and writing in general. He was the top English and writing student and once even tried joining the drama club but the second he walked in the door he was instantly annoyed with everyone inside and did a full 180 out of that hellscape.

He then tried out for the sports clubs and teams but didn’t have time between work after school.

Chase actually made a friend during his last few years at school who managed to be the school’s main weed dealer (Chase draws chaos to him enough said). They actually were a good duo and Chase developed a serious attachment to him. His friend had a lot of money thanks to his business and often would get Chase to be his ‘bodyguard’ when selling to older clients.

They were both weird guys with different levels of intensity over random things. Both had that ‘dudebro’ vibe who would listen to Abba but in reality, the type of dudes who sit right next to each other in a hot tub, no need for 5 feet apart.

Somehow both comfortable with their sexuality which is refreshing. But, that won’t last long :(

They never got to really developed their relationship further before Chase left but it was a silent agreement between them that they liked one another on a physical and emotional level. They rekindled and I guess, ‘officially’ date when in the Air Force when training together. (Lovers in the military trope don’t @ me it fits him PERFECTLY.)

He and his friend were actually going to join the Air Force together. And they did. Chase first and his friend later.

Dude did some stupidly impulsive shit. Especially once he had a friend. Antics? Yes, many. Young, bored lonely boys with repressed feelings do stupid shit to fill the long hours. Jumping off things at high speed? Yes. Buring stuff? Yes. Smashing stuff? Yes. Listening to Green Day? Unironically, Yes.

No doubt they once burned down an abandoned house while trying to hotbox in one of the rooms. Nearly replicated the incident with the school DURING CLASS in the janitors closet. Boys just wanna get high and kiss okay?

Chase was born strong physically but mentally? Nar. Could fight a bear but would crumble under an anxious moment.

Never wanted to appear weak. It was what everyone expected but he never backed down from a fight or rivalry to his detriment. Stood up for himself no matter the circumstance. He always stood up for his boyfrie- SORRY I MEAN FRIEND.

He was an angry guy, mostly because people constantly tested his patience and intelligence and his home life was always a tense situation where there was no time to be soft or delicate.

Did get into many fights with one particular guy during school and out of school hours.

He was an attractive teenager. I like to think (like is a strong word) he was targeted by this one particular asshole because of their pent up feeling towards Chase. Chase either rejected his advances which set it all off or you just got that vibe from all their exchanges. Either way, at one point the tormentor made his feelings cryptically clear and Chase made sure they weren’t reciprocated.

One particular final fight between them, Chase wound up with a bat to the face which broke his nose badly.

The nose never really healed the best or back to how it was originally. This was something that scared him forever, becoming more resentful and unable to let things go. A lot more guarded from then on.

Chase used to be the pretty buff tall boy but the nose downgraded him to just a tall buff boy who has hints of a pretty boy in him.

Worked a few jobs during most nights. Needed money, mostly supported himself financially. Worked as a dish boy in a local restaurant and at the cinema as a cleaner. He always seemed to get the cleaning jobs.

Chase used to skateboard. He was pretty good at it too.

He started smoking young, around 15-16. And thanks to his companion, would often smoke weed supplied to him by his friend.

Loved going to the dentist when he could. He started eating those strong cheap dusty mints when he smoked as it was a cheap form of keeping his breath fresh after he smoked. Also, he thought it made him look cool and ended up getting addicted.

He wasn’t a joyless kid or teen, He just wasn’t one who smiled a lot.

Chase never really trained for his driving license. He just went for his test at the police station. They made him drive around the block once and they just gave it to him.

Chase: the aspiring pilot.

Chase wanted to be a pilot ever since he was young, specifically the French Air Force. No real trigger set that dream in motion, he just liked the idea of piloting a high-speed plane and seeing the world from up above. Moving fast is his ultimate goal.

He studied and prepared early to join the École Militaire de l'air (Military Air Force before it folded into the Air School). But you have to be over 18 and with his plans to complete school early, he would spend the year until then in basic military training, then would transfer over. All of this was to increase his chances of being accepted along with the examination, which he passed thanks to his passion for it.

Of course, things don’t always go to plan and even though he was on a path to graduating early a huge final brawl broke between him and a longtime bully halted this.

He had always fought with him specifically and this time, after years of building it all up, it hit the fan.  The incident put a hold on his plans and wasn’t able to graduate a whole year early.

Fast track forward and due to home pressures and school weighing him down he decided to just leave school and home and when he left, as one last ‘fuck you’ to his tormentor, his friend helped him break into his house and stole his car and drove it straight to Paris, abandoning it in the countryside just before. No one ever knew it was him and it is by far his greatest victory, as he knew how much he loved that car. Major mood. Chase was tempted to push it off a cliff in spite but couldn’t find one.

Chase still went into the general military before transferring to the Air Force once over 18 and acing his entrance evaluations.

Chase and his ‘friend’ managed to get in at the same time. Que, LLLLLLLL LOVERS!

They made sure they were in the same dorms, ‘classes’ and that their schedules lined up. They even swapped around so they had the same duties.

Chase thrived and was a great pilot. He achieved his pilots’ license and began working his way to completing the 2 years here then moving on to a higher position. His friend focused more on the engineering courses.

For someone spontaneous in an impulsive way, he liked the regimented schedule. It gave him purpose and meaning

Chase ended up getting kicked out after a massive brawl incited by an argument with another cadet about the particular notion of his relationship with his ‘friend’.

It was made clear to him such behaviour receives no second chances and was forced to leave, meaning he never officially completed his 2 years and was never allowed back in the foreseeable future.

Chase was desolated and once again hardened by this turn of events.

His 20s in a nutshell

Chase sought employment in the police force thanks to his military origins. He did, in fact, complete the basic military training aspect so he was a front runner for the police force.

He needed a job as all his money was wasted on a fruitless dream.

Spent the first few years of his police force employment as a ‘beat cop’ until his arrest numbers/success and work availability sought his promotion to a detective quite early in his 20s.

Chase was used to working full time and all the time at odd hours from very early on. He started his work career young.

They say you have 10 years in the prime of your career and Chase used that up instantly, shooting up the police then detective ranks fast due to how hard he worked, non-stop. His obsession and dedication with keeping busy and solving cases made him unmatchable.

Chase was physically skilled despite his smoking habits and mentally quick too, even if he acted dangerously without foresight sometimes.

He was very successful as a detective. It was his true calling

Chase has seen some nasty things and is a very good shot with a handgun.

Has he killed anyone? You decide. Personally? Yes, obviously. This has never and will never phase him.

He has been through so many police issued cars he now gets the second-hand cars due to how reckless he is.

Perused criminals with crazy car chases even when he was just a lowly beat cop. It got worse when he became a detective.

No doubt he kept and took home case files (sometimes even evidence) and didn’t give them back even when he became an Interpol liaison. He worked on those cases, he solved them, they are his. He keeps them all either at his apartment or in a storage unit.

Work became his life. His only vice.

Opted out for a partner as it wasn’t a department regulation just a personal option if wanted. Don’t need someone wasting his time, slowing him down or possibly taking away his shine.

Developed obsessive tendencies.

Detective work is competitive. You end up running around trying and fighting to get the best brutal murder homicide case as it will look great to your superiors. It was all a race to see who was the best. Chase was one of the best thanks to having no outsider life to distract him.

Somehow Chase wasn’t a suck-up his those above him. You would think he would be but Chase just enjoyed working and solving, completing things.

You are measured by your achievements and you have to be sure of yourself and your capabilities to survive in the race.

For work that was on the outside very heroic and selfless. Most detectives he worked around and ‘with’ were selfish, heartless and egotistical. The successful ones were anyway. Chase one of them.

He hated them all just as much as they hated him.

Ended up not caring for normal citizens and fellow employees disdain for his abrupt nature. Developed a superiority complex as a result.

But he remained composed and well mannered when dealing with victims and witnesses.

He was very susceptible to the alluring nature of the egotistic know it all.

All of this aged him rapidly. I have no doubt he is only in his early to mid-30s (in the show) but has aged himself visibly with unhealthy working hours and lifestyles.

(I’m not going to go too deep here as at this point I might as well insert my dam fanfiction. I have a whole story planned for what I think his detective days were like. I’ll give you a hint, it’s dark.)

Final relationships.

In regards to his love life? Don’t have one. One night stands? Eh, maybe very occasionally but he isn’t the sort of person to get wrapped up in such things. He is very professional and despite being touch starved he can live without physical relationships easily. They also make him uncomfortable now due to certain events.

His ‘friend’ asked for Chase to wait for him, that once he was finished in the Air Force his partner would come find him. Chase did for the entirety of his 20s and pretty much would for his entire life. First loves are hard to forget.

They only met up again once when Chase was in his late 20s and his friend no longer felt that way towards him or that kind of way anymore. He had a family. Chase sort of understood that his lover realistically would have moved on and blamed himself for not looking for him instead. He became obsessed with his success with work after all.

He couldn’t comprehend why his friend would finally contact him after all these years just to tell him he didn’t love him anymore. He always assumed it was to tie up loose ends or to make fun of him for waiting. To hurt him.

Chase was physically and mentally devastated to say the least. Especially when the last interaction they ever had was his old friend handing him a goddam conversion camp pamphlet.

This really dragged on and I’m sorry I really went off there. I hope it was at least relatively what you were after.

[creambunnie]

♡ Love You More ♡

WayV Xiaojun X OC (Y/N)

angst fluff . ENJOYYYYY

a/n : it has been a long time since i've written such a long imagine. i hope you guys love it!

you wrapped your finger around your mug of hot chocolate and had a sip as your boyfriend!Xiaojun stared at you lovingly. you placed your mug down and looked at Xiaojun with a nervous look. Xiaojun grabbed your hands and squeezed them gently.

"do you think i will make it?". you asked your boyfriend anxiously.

the both of you just graduated from college. Xiaojun already had a stable job at a big tech company, while you, who graduated with a performing arts degree , were auditioning here and there for dramas and shows to land on your first tv debut. you auditioned for romance, action and even horror! you didn't really care about the genre,you just wanted to experience the real deal and improvise yourself till you become a well-groomed actress.

Xiaojun rubbed your hand with his thumb and nodded his head. "i believe an actress as talented as you could make it! if they don't cast you though, it's alright. it's not you, they are the ones who are at lost.". Xiaojun comforted. you scrunched your nose up at his cheesiness and squeezed his hands.

"are you sure you're not just being nice to your girlfriend?". you asked. Xiaojun laughed and shook his head. "of course not! i really mean it. you are very talented! remember when you acted like you were in pain just to get a kiss from me?" . Xiaojun comforted again but didn't forget to tease you . you pulled your hands away and slapped his hand playfully. "ahh why did you have to remind me!". you whined which made him laugh with adoration at your cuteness.

after the short cafe date, you and Xiaojun went to the audition venue by cab . Xiaojun was your moral support. he had always accompanied you to your auditions and comforted you when you were rejected. he would motivate you to do your best and be better each audition.

you were at the waiting room, anxiously waiting for your turn. Xiaojun was sititing beside you while holding your hand in his to give comfort . you on the other hand, tried rehearsing your lines for the last time. you became more nervous when the staff told that you would be going in in about 2 minutes.

"ahh babe i am so nervous!". you mumbled as you faced your cute boyfriend. Xiaojun gave you a small smile and carresed your hair lovingly. "i believe in you , sweetie. you are going to do your best! i promise to treat you to ice cream later after your turn alright?". Xiaojun pecked your lips one last time before you were called. He gave you a soft goodluck as you followed the staff.

~

you were given quite a good feedback from the judges and they told you they would contact you about the results soon. you went out of the hall to the waiting room earlier with a good feeling. you were about to run and hug your boyfriend but was greeted by his close friend instead.

"oh Hendery! are you here for the audition too? oh and did you see Xiaojun?". you bombarded him with questions.

Hendery chuckled and rubbed his nape. "actually Xiaojun was the one who asked me to come here and walk you home. His mother called him earlier because of something urgent. he really is regretful that he had to leave . ". Hendery tried his best to explain to you as politely as possible. your head dropped as you stared at the floor below you.

"oh.. i understand. family is definitely more important. no worries!". you exclaimed as you looked up to Hendery.

Hendery frowned when he saw your teary eyes. He hated seeing his friend sad so an idea popped into his mind. Hendery grabbed your wrist and pulled you along gently. "times like this call for food! i am starving and i bet you are too! let's go!". you giggled and let Hendery drag you.

Hendery brought you to a small restaurant which was a few stops away from the audition venue. "i always come here with my sister. i'm basically a regular and kind of the owner's favourite,so order anything you want alright. it's on me!". Hendery said and winked. you chuckled at his actions but ordered anyways.

you actually had fun hanging out with Hendery. he was a sweetheart , and a dork too. he would crack jokes randomly which brightened your day up. you always hang out with Xiaojun and his friends but never with any of them individually. it was a refreshing experience eating out with Hendery. after talking and eating, it was finally time for you to go home. Hendery walked you home like how he was asked in the first place. you thanked Hendery for the day and apologised for troubling him. Hendery only responded by shaking his head no and smiled widely. he wished you a goodnight sleep before walking away . you smiled back and went in your apartment.

you lived alone since college years. your parents' house were quite far but you do visit them regularly and they visit you too.

you plopped yourself down on your bed and check your phone. you gasped when you saw text messages from your boyfriend. you were having too much fun you didn't even look at your phone.

♡BaobeiJun♡

hey babe.. i am really sorry but i have to go first. i asked Hendery to accompany you back home. stay safe <3

♡BaobeiJun♡

did you meet Hendery? how was the audition? text me as soon as you see this alright ♡

♡BaobeiJun♡

babe, are you mad? i am really sorry, i am going to make it up to you!

♡BaobeiJun♡

please reply me ㅠㅠ are you home yet? nothing bad happened to you right?

- 10 missed calls from ♡BaobeiJun♡ -

you sighed as you saw the texts. of course you were still upset about earlier. but you didn't want to be the annoying girlfriend and tried your best to pretend that you were okay.

To : ♡BaobeiJun♡

sorry for the late replies babe. i didn't check my phone earlier. yeah i am home, Hendery sent me home like you requested. he also bought me food because we were both starving. i am not mad, don't worry :)

you threw your phone on your bed as you changed into your pyjamas. a few seconds later, you heard your phone chime, indicating that you just received a message.

♡BaobeiJun♡

that is great! i should treat Hendery some time too to thank him. i am glad you are back safe. i was so worried when you didn't reply back :((

you chuckled and rolled your eyes at his text.

To : ♡BaobeiJun♡

i am really sorry hahaha , so you wanna tell me why you had to leave earlier?

Xiaojun then explained to you that his mother called him earlier to ask for his help. Apparently , his childhood friend, named Weiwei, was on a business trip here and Xiaojun's mother asked him to welcome her at the airport. you also got to know that the girl was going to stay at Xiaojun's family's place for a few months because renting an apartment would be bothersome.

you were now feeling more upset actually. he left your side because of another girl? and worse, the girl is staying with him for a while? you were furious, yes. but you were more insecure. you trusted Xiaojun but you just couldn't help yourself from being jealous. i mean, which girlfriend wouldn't? you were tired as you read his explanation and decided to end the conversation with a goodnight.

you switched your phone off and wrapped your whole body with your warm blanket. you tried getting rid of all the bad thoughts and fell asleep in anxiety.

~

you were woken up by the front door bell . you groaned as you sat up and checked the time. 10am. you groaned again and cursed whoever it was who disturbed your sleep as you walked to the front door. you opened the door but was greeted by no one. you groaned again thinking that it was just a prank but was startled when Xiaojun's head suddenly popped up out of nowhere. he leaned down so your eyes were parallel. he chuckled at your shocked expression and gave a peck on your cheek before inviting himself in. "i texted you but the messages weren't delivered so i figured your phone was dead. i came to really make it up for yesterday". Xiaojun explained.

you finally snapped out from your shock and grinned. you felt like your anger towards him yesterday evaporated just like that. you hugged him and buried your face into his chest. "you don't even know how much i wanted to hug you like this yesterday after the audition. i was overwhelmed with my emotions and the only one who could calm me was you. but you weren't there.". you mumbled sadly. Xiaojun felt guilty and carressed your hair.

"i am really sorry. i promised to treat you ice cream right? jajan!!" . Xiaojun pulled away and showed you the tubs of ice cream he bought.

"i was thinking of a movie-cuddling kind of date today.". Xiaojun said cutely as he tapped his chin with his finger. you giggled and pinched his cheeks. "i am up for it! but can you let me go shower first?". Xiaojun nodded and placed the ice cream tubs on the dining table. "sure, i will just prepare the couch alright!".

after a nice shower,you joined Xiaojun who was sitting on the couch with his phone. he put his phone on the table as he saw you approaching him. but you saw that he was texting Weiwei earlier. you decided to just ignore your jealousy and took the ice cream tub Xiaojun handed to you. Xiaojun then pulled you closer so you snuggled into his chest and enjoyed the ice cream. the both of you watched a romance movie and imitated the cheesy lines. you would giggle everytime Xiaojun peck your head when there is a kiss scene.

"you know, i heard that the 2nd movie is released next week!". you said and took a spoonful of your strawberry cheesecake ice cream.

Xiaojun hummed and pecked your head again. "it's a date then!".

you turned to him with a wide smile. "really?". Xiaojun chuckled and nodded his head. you squealed and pecked his lips. "i can't wait ! it's been a long time since we've went to the cinema together.".

Xiaojun carressed your hair lovingly before putting down his finished ice cream tub. "how about i go and take some blankets so we could cuddle here?". Xiaojun suggested. you nodded excitedly as you stood up to give him space.

as Xiaojun went to your room, you saw his phone lighted up . you peeked and saw notifications from Weiwei. you rolled your eyes and turned his phone around so you wouldn't get distracted. you quickly finished your ice cream and cleaned up before lying down beside Xiaojun. Xiaojun wrapped his arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer. you leanee your ear on his chest and sighed in relief as you relaxed ,listening to his heartbeat. "i love you sweetie and i want you to remember that forever.". Xiaojun whispered and pecked your forehead. "i love you too baobeijun,". you whispered back. the two of you cuddled in silence and soon fell asleep .

~

it has been a few days after the cuddle date. you haven't really see Xiaojun after that because he was kind of busy with work. you did texted and called each other but you missed him being with you physically. you sighed and just decided to focus on your work. yeah, you has a part time job at a small bookstore. you still had to make income anyways. so while you practised to be an aspiring actress, you still worked hard in earning your own allowance and not only depend on your parents or boyfriend.

you were keying in some things on the computer when the bell chimed, indicating a customer's entrance.

"welcome!". you greeted as you saw a cute girl entered. you were about to ask if she needed help when the door opened again, revealing your handsome boyfriend. you gasped and smiled widely.

"Baobe--". your words were cut off when the cute girl earlier linked arms with Xiaojun. you frowned deeper when Xiaojun didn't even bother to push her away. you quickly gave a small smile when Xiaojun walked towards you with the girl and waved at you cutely.

"babe, this is Weiwei! and Weiwei, this is my girlfriend, y/n !". Xiaojun introduced. you forced a smile and stretched your hand out for a handshake. but your tired arm was ignored as Weiwei hugged Xiaojun's arm and whined. "when we were little you said we were gonna be together!". Xiaojun only chuckled awkwardly and rubbed his nape. he smiled apologetically to you in which you just shook your head . "Xiaojunjun! let's go eat!". Weiwei saidly in her high-pitched voice which hurt your ears. Xiaojun nodded and looked at you, who was looking at the couple sadly.

"i'll see you soon, okay babe?". Xiaojun said softly as if you were the most fragile thing there. you smiled and nodded. before you could speak, Weiwei pulled and dragged Xiaojun out of the store.

you wanted to just cry out loud but you held yourself back. Xiaojun has been to busy with work and couldn't spend even an hour with you but here he was spending his free time with another girl. you knew she was just a friend and you trusted Xiaojun. you love Xiaojun. but it hurt you how he was being oblivious of your painful heart . you decided to push aside the thoughts and focused on work. you were grateful there weren't many customers on that day . you were not really in the mood to entertain others . half an hour before the store closed, the bell chimed indicating a new customer. you continued packing up books and your things while the customer looked for their desired books. you were packing your bag when the customer placed books on the counter. "hi , i would like to ask if the last volume of this comic is still available?". you quickly turned around at the familiar voice. the customer blinked and chuckled. "i didn't know it was your shift ,". Hendery stated. you gave a small smile and nodded. "yeah i was just covering for my co-worker. ". you said softly. you quickly looked at the comic he was purchasing and keyed in the code in the computer.

"the last volume is sold out . but the new stock is coming tomorrow! you could come by if you like and i could reserve one for you.". you explained.

Hendery grinned and nodded. "sure,i'll purchase these first and come back again tomorrow!". after settling his books, it was finally time for you to lock the bookstore and head home.

you switched off everything and quickly closed the store down. you gasped when Hendery suddenly stood in front of you. Hendery chuckled at your reaction . "i was thinking of dinner. together?". Hendery suggested. you chuckled and shook your head. "i'm actually kind of fu--". your lie was cut off when your stomach growled violently. the two of you stared at each other before laughing. "alright, how about hotpot and some beer? at the same place!". you suggested this time. Hendery smiled widely and nodded. "i'm paying this time so don't worry about what you want to eat alright!". you said again . you tried making yourself happy but your lifeless eyes could never lie Hendery. Hendery decided to just play along with you and waited for you to open up yourself. he hated seeing his friends hurt but he hated forcing people more.

you were on your second bottle of beer, you were not really drunk but drunk enough to cry outloud the feelings you've been hiding since afternoon.

"i know she is just a friend but why is she getting more attention then me? your girlfriend? am i just dumb for crying or are you dumb? why does Xiaojun have to be so kind towards other girls? this is unfair!". you whined and downed another shot .

Hendery kept quiet and let you let out all your feelings. he thought it was finally time for you to cry out everything and feel better .

"Hendery, is it really childish and petty of me to be jealous like this?". you turned to your friend and slurred your words. Hendery only sighed and tucked your hair back behind your ears to have a clearer sight of your red face. "no i understand. you shouldn't feel bad for feeling this way. i can't help you much but i am here for you when you need me.". Hendery comforted. you nodded at his response before falling asleep right after . Hendery quickly stretched his arm out before you could knock your head on the table. Hendery sighed as he combed your hair neatly with his fingers. he understood Xiaojun for taking care of his childhood friend but he was disappointed Xiaojun made you feel like this. Hendery decided to call Xiaojun to pick you up. He felt like it was only right for him as a friend to help his friends out.

A few minutes later,Hendery tried waking you up. you woke up with a groan and clutched your head. "are you sober enough to walk?". Hendery asked as he held your shoulder. you nodded and stood up slowly. Hendery helped you and walked out of the restaurant with you . the moment the two of you stepped out of the restaurant, Xiaojun ran towards you . "babe!". he exclaimed as he took you from Hendery. your head was still spinning but you figured Xiaojun's face. you turned to Hendery as he gave you a small smile. "rest well, alright?". Hendery said before excusing himself.

"why did you drink so much babe?" . Xiaojun asked as he piggybacked you. you leaned your head on his back and sighed. "i was sad. i was angry. i was tired.". you replied word by word. you felt the wind as Xiaojun walked on the empty street, bringing you home.

"do you want to tell me why?". Xiaojun asked softly. your heart broke. of course you were sad and angry because of him. but his sweet and innocent self just couldn't realise that. "i love you Jun... i hope you do too. please stay with me.". you breathed out, holding yourself back from crying. Xiaojun stopped in his tracks for a bit but continued walking right after . "of course i love you too. i am here always, by your side.".

you fell asleep on his comfortable back as you felt assured.

~

you wore Xiaojun's favourite baby blue blouse and styled your hair simply with some light make up. you were excited for your movie date. you were at the cinema , waiting for your boyfriend. he promised to be there half an hour before the movie starts. but coming to 10 minutes before showtime, he was still not there. you tried texting him but the messages were not delivered. maybe his phone battery died, you thought. you tapped your foot nervously as you scanned the place for your boyfriend.

4 mins

3mins

2mins

1mins

showtime.

you sighed and held your head down sadly. *did he forget about our date?* . you were about to exit the cinema when someone called your name. you turned and were greeted by Hendery. he really was like your guardian angel. there whenever you were sad.

"are you here alone? what movie are you watching?". Hendery asked. you smiled sadly and shook your head. "today was supposed to be our movie date but Xiaojun is not here. i tried contacting him but he didn't reply. i think i should just go back.". you explained.

Hendery frowned at his friend's actions. He really was disappointed in Xiaojun.

"how about we watch a movie together? hmm i was thinking, Dora The Explorer?". Hendery suggested, trying to cheer you up. you chuckled at his unique choice of movie and nodded. "that is a great idea! let's go!". you agreed and grabbed his wrist to buy the tickets.

during the movie, Hendery suddenly heard soft sniffings. He turned to look at you and sighed . you were wiping your tears that were flowing down your cheeks non-stop. it was obvious you were crying because of Xiaojun, the movie wasn't even a sad one. Hendery grabbed your hands and squeezed them to comfort you. he then pulled your head to lean on his shoulder. "it's okay sweetie, it's okay. i am always here to comfort you.". Hendery whispered as he carressed your hair. his sweet words calmed you throughout the movie. you were sorry to Hendery for always being stuck in your relationship, but you were also grateful to have him as a good friend.

after the movie, you went to the ladies to freshen up . Hendery waited for you and invited you to dinner. "how about we go to the usual? i kind of like the concept of having our hangout place.". you said as you walked out of the cinema with Hendery. Hendery chuckled but agreed to your suggestion anyway. dinner made your day. you decided to totally ignore your thoughts about Xiaojun and spend quality time with your now new bestfriend. you and Hendery shared a lot of things with each other , from cute childhood stories to epic highschool memories. you also found out that the both of you were big fans of Attack on Titans and Tokyo Ghoul. Hendery promised to lend you his AOT mangas as you promised to recommend him other great animes and mangas. the day eventually ended with Hendery walking you home. "thank you so much for today Hendery. i am very thankful to have you as my friend.". Hendery smiled at your words and patted your head. "i am always here if you are im need of a friend. the restaurant is always open for us to have more fun.". you thanked him again and bid him goodnight as you entered your apartment.

you plopped yourself on the couch and fished out your phone.

♡BaobeiJun♡

omg babe... i didn't realise that my phone was turned off >○<

♡BaobeiJun♡

i overlooked the date for our movie date .. i am really sorryyy

♡BaobeiJun♡

my mom asked me to bring Weiwei around the city. i agreed because i thought our date is tomorrow...

♡BaobeiJun♡

i am really sorry babe,, please reply my messages

♡BaobeiJun♡

babe? i understand that you are mad at me...

♡BaobeiJun♡

are you at least safe back home?

you threw your phone on the couch as you stood up. you decided to just ignore his texts. you were really mad. not just because he ditched you on the most awaited date, but he ditched you as he spent time with another girl. you knew Xiaojun was just being kind but is he really dense to not draw the line? you didn't want your relationship to be ruined by a girl who suddenly appeared in your life. you thought your relationship with Xiaojun was strong , but recent incidents made you doubtful. you washed up and went to bed straight away.

you woke up the next morning feeling a bit better after a goodnight sleep. you were having your light breakfast when you heard a knock from the front door. you groaned as you weren't expecting any guests.

you opened the door only to push it back close as you see his face. but before the door could close fully, Xiaojun held onto it with his leg. "babe please let me in.". he begged. you contemplated for a bit but opened the door anyways. you quickly walked away before he could hug you. Xiaojun followed you to the kitchen as he called out your name softly. Xiaojun wrapped his arms around your shoulders but you harshly pushed him away and faced him.

"Xiaojun. i am tired. please, i am tired of being mad with you and settle my feelings with a hug from you. this is not that simple, Jun. i love you , i really do. but the amount of times you've hurt me in these 2 months is more than the whole 2 years that we've spent together..". you confessed.

Xiaojun tried to pull you into a hug but you rejected. you wiped the tears that were flowing down your cheeks as you continued. "why do you think i was drunk the other night? you think i wanted to feel depressed like that? you think everything was back to normal when you came to pick me up?!". you didn't intend to raise your voice at him but your emotions were unstable.

Xiaojun was startled at your outburst. he looked at you with teary eyes. you sighed as you sat on the floor and pulled your legs before burying your face in between them. your sobs echoed through the silent kitchen. you felt Xiaojun moving closer. he squatted beside you and wrapped his arms around your body before pulling you into his warm chest. "i'm sorry , i'm sorry, sshhh i'm sorry, i love you babe, i really love you . i'm sorry i hurt you, i love you really. i am here now and i promise i won't leave you.". Xiaojun whispered in an attempt to comfort your broken heart. you finally gave in and cried out into his chest.

a few moments later, Xiaojun carried you into your bedroom. he lied down beside you and pulled you closer. you buried your face into the crook of his neck and sniffed in his scent. you relaxed in his arms as you calmed yourself down. "i missed you so much,". he mumbled as he pecked your head. the two of you lied down in silence, enjoying each other's presence and calm breathing. Xiaojun was about to fall asleep when his ringtone startled the both of you. you slowly pulled away from him to give hin space to sit up. Xiaojun rubbed his eyes cutely as he searched for his phone. you couldn't help but giggle at the cute sight and although you were still a bit mad, you didn't hold yourself back from giving him a quick peck on the lips. Xiaojun froze at your sudden action before slowly reaching for his phone. he was used to receiving kisses from you but he was suddenly shy after the fight , his ears turned red . you giggled at his reaction and nudged him to do something about his phone. "i--i'll take this call for a while okay?" he stuttered. you nodded before lying down back on your bed.

after the short call, Xiaojun turned to face you with a guilty expression. "babe.. i really want to spend time with you but this is urgent. Weiwei is having troubles with settling her project and i have to go help. i am really sorry babe.". Xiaojun explained and apologised.

you sighed, just when you thought it was back to normal, everything was about to be ruined again. "it's urgent right? let me walk you to the front door.". you said as you got off the bed. Xiaojun gulped as he sensed your sarcasm. he followed you out of the room like a puppy. "i'm really sorry babe.. how about i take you on a date on Saturday?". Xiaojun tried to persuade you. you gave a small smile and pushed him out off your apartment gently. "i can't. i have plans.". you replied and quickly closed your front door. you heard Xiaojun knocked for a few minutes, begging you to open the door but he then stopped when you ignored him . you figured he finally gave up and went to settle his urgent matters.

♡BaobeiJun♡

babe... what plans do you have that i can't spend time with you?

you rolled your eyes at his message and were tempted to just throw your phone on the ground. he had been ignoring your daily life activities because of his own but had the audacity to suddenly act caring when you finally gave him the cold shoulder. you ignored his message and decided to text Hendery .

To : Huang Guanheng

hey Hendery, i was thinking if you could accompany me this Saturday? i am finally casted for the drama i auditioned for recently and this Saturday is our first shooting. i am quite nervous to go alone...

you waited for a few seconds before Hendery replied.

-Huang Guanheng-

oh sure!! just tell me the time and place ,alright?

you smiled at his response and quickly informed him the details. you were glad he didn't ask about Xiaojun . he really was a friend with good sense.

~

the day finally came. you met up with Hendery early and decided to get some breakfast together. "you can do it , y/n . don't be too nervous or else you wouldn't be able to focus. here drink some hot tea, to calm you down.". you thanked him for his advice and comforting words. after the short breakfast, the both of you went to the shooting venue.

the site for the rehearsed scene was outdoor. the hot weather was not really helping with your nerves. you practised your lines as much as possible as the stylists prepared you before you were called to the site. you were only a side character but your character actually plays quite an important role in the drama. Hendery gave you a supporting pat as your turn came.

you did a good job with your lines but your co-actor kept on making mistakes. because of that the scene you were in had to be filmed for a few times. you tried to be consistent in the quality of your performance but the hot weather made you exhausted. you were sweating like mad that the stylists had to wipe them for you every few minutes.

the director finally gave a break time, asking your co-actor to calm his nerves and practise his line again. you were glad the director was nice enough to be patient with him . if you were the director, you would have screamed at him. you saw Hendery waving at you as you walked towards him . Hendery's smile turned into a frown as he saw your pale face. he quickly caught you as you stumbled. "are you okay?". he asked as he tried supporting you to stand up straight. "i am a bit dizzy," you managed to reply as you clutched your head. just as you spoke, your body felt weak and you fainted. Hendery's eyes widened as he wrapped his arm under your body and carried you. "ambulance! somebody call the ambulance!" .

~

Hendery : Dejun, your girlfriend just fainted . she is admitted to the hospital now.

Xiaojun : what? tell me the hospital address, i am on my way.

Hendery : alright, come here safely .

Hendery ended the call as he sat beside your bed. he carressed your head and sighed. a few minutes later, Xiaojun arrived . Hendery stood up and greeted his friend. Xiaojun gave Hendery a brotherly hug and went to you who were still sleeping. he held your cheek dearly and pecked your forehead. "what happened?". Xiaojun asked Hendery softly. "she was at the shooting site earlier--". Hendery's words were cut off by Xiaojun. "wa-wait, she was casted ?". Hendery frowned and nodded. "didn't she tell you?" . Xiaojun looked at you sadly and hesitated a nod. "kind of...". Hendery nodded before explaining further. "she fainted after her turn. the doctor said she was too stressful and dehydrated . that was why she fainted. but the doctor said to not worry, a rest and lots of water can make her feel better.". Xiaojun sat beside your bed and held your hand. "i see, thank you Guanheng.". Hendery nodded and stood beside Xiaojun. Xiaojun stayed by your side till night. Hendery stayed too. he was worried about both of his friends . "Dejun.. you've been here since afternoon. why not we go take some fresh air and have dinner ? y/n wouldn't want you to fall ill too.". Hendery patted his friend's shoulder. Xiaojun contemplated for a while but agreed to his friend's suggestion . he pecked your hand for the last time before leaving the hospital.

"which restaurant is still open at this hour?". Xiaojun asked as he checked the time. it was late night. Hendery grinned and patted his back. "i know the perfect place.".Hendery sat on his usual spot while Xiaojun sat on yours. the owner greeted them and passed the menus. "Guanheng! you didn't come with your girlfriend today?". Hendery blinked at her question as Xiaojun stared at Hendery. "you have a girlfriend?". Xiaojun asked. Hendery shook his head and tried to reply the owner. "no no auntie, she is not my gi--". his words were cut off when the owner exclaimed. " ah y/n ! she isn't here today.". Xiaojun's expression was unreadable. Hendery gulped and shook his head. "may we just look at the menu and order ,auntie?". the oblivious owner smiled and nodded before going back to the counter.

"this is just a misunderstanding Dejun.". Hendery started as he stared at the menu that he had memorised by heart. Xiaojun was silent for a bit but smiled . "i understand Guanheng. don't worry. why not we just order?i am starving!!". Hendery knew Xiaojun was just pretending to be okay. Xiaojun and you were really soulmates. hiding your real feelings. Hendery nodded and ordered some food.

the meal was silent and calm. both too occupied with their own thoughts. after the meal, Xiaojun paid for the food and thanked Hendery once again. "why not you go home and rest? i will be with y/n.". Xiaojun said in a matter of factly. not really as a suggestion. Hendery nodded and bid his friend goodnight before going back home.

Xiaojun stayed with for the whole night. you woke up to see your boyfriend sleeping, head on the edge of your bed. you carressed his soft brown locks gently as you stared at his calm sleeping face. Xiaojun's eyes opened slowly as he sat up. he grabbed your hand and pecked them before asking. "are you feeling better ?". you only nodded and squeezed his hand. "did Hendery call you?". Xiaojun hummed in response. his other hand balled into a fist as he heard his friend's name. "the doctor said you can discharge after you eat your breakfast. he said to drink lots of water and rest well.". your eyes widened when you realised you were at job when you fainted. you quickly searched for your phone to check for any messages. "missing Hendery already?". Xiaojun asked with gritted teeth. you looked up from your phone and frowned. "what?". Xiaojun smirked and scoffed. "nothing.". you turned back to your phone and read the text from one of the staffs.

-we hope you have a good rest. we are sorry for not considering your condition , we will update you about the next shootings. for now, we just want you to have a good rest- .

you sighed in relief as you finished reading the text. you thought you were going to be replaced by another actress. you placed your phone down and looked at Xiaojun who was staring at you. "have you eaten?". you asked. Xiaojun shook his head and rubbed his face with his hands. "i'll eat later after sending you home. i don't have the appetite to eat.". you frowned at his answer and placed your hand on his cheek as you carressed them gently. "please eat well. i don't want you to fall ill.". you said softly. Xiaojun gave a small smile and nodded.

in the cab on the way to your house, you leaned your head on Xiaojun's shoulder as he rubbed your interwined hands with his thumb. you jumped when you heard your phone ring.

*incoming call from Huang Guanheng*

you looked at Xiaojun as he nodded his head letting you answer the phone.

Hendery : are you home?

You : i'm on my way home in the cab. I am with Xiaojun.

Hendery : that is great . rest well okay? and y/n .. did you not tell him about the drama?

you kept silent at his question. Hendery called your names a few times .

You : i will alright. don't worry .

Hendery : he is your boyfriend,he should know.

you nodded your head as if he was in front of you.

You : okay okay, stop nagging, gosh.

Hendery chuckled at your response and advised you one last time before ending the call.

Xiaojun squeezed your hand right after you kept your phone. you leaned back onto his shoulder before calling his name out softly.

"babe,, i wanted to tell you but i was mad the other day. i actually got casted for the drama that i auditioned for the last time.". Xiaojun was quiet for a while. he carressed your hand and pecked your forehead. "congrats babe. see, i told you you would make it. you are talented.". he whispered. you smiled and pecked his cheek as you thanked him. you decided to just relax in silence as the cab took you back home.

~

you plopped on your couch as you arrived home. Xiaojun locked the front door and joined you on the couch. you switched on the TV and searched for fun shows to watch. "hey would you like some tea?". Xiaojun offered. you smiled and nodded . Xiaojun went to the kitchen to make some tea for the both of you. he thought this gave him some time to gather his courage for the words he was about to say . he hoped the tea would calm the both of you before the storm comes.

he placed both cups on the coffee table. your eyes were still stuck to the TV as you sipped on the hot tea. you turned to Xiaojun when he suddenly lowered down the volume of the TV. Xiaojun gave a small smile as he reached for your hands. he gave them a squeeze before starting his speech.

"y/n. we need to talk. i don't think this is going to work between us..". you frowned at his words and remembered what he said earlier. "is this because of Hendery? Xiaojun. i've been patient for almost three months now when you have to entertain Weiwei but just because of your jealousy towards Hendery , you want to break up? Hendery is just a friend! ". you asked , obviously disappointed with him . Xiaojun shook his head as he pulled his hands away from yours. "it's not just jealousy, okay?!". you were startled when he raised his voice. Xiaojun sighed and ruffled his hair roughly. "it's not jealousy...". his voice was back to his usual soft voice. "it's a realisation. i realised that Hendery can take care of you better than I can . he treats you better than me. you deserve a man better than me.". you frowned at his what you would say nonsensical excuses.

"no... i don't want to break up with you. i love you Xiaojun! don't you love me too? you promised me you are going to be by my side always.". you said as tears trickled down from your eyes. Xiaojun wiped his own tears as he looked into your eyes. "i do.. i love you. i love you so much therefore we can't be together. i love you so much i don't want to see you hurt . i love you so much i want you to know that you deserve better. i love you... but we are not meant to be with each other.".

your palms turned into fists as you hit his chest. "you stupid jerk! that doesn't make any sense! if you love me, stay with me! don't give up on me!". you shouted as you hit him. Xiaojun grabbed your wrists as he pulled you into a hug. "i love you. this is for your best.". he whispered and pecked your forehead for the last time . Xiaojun stood up and went out of your apartment, leaving you crying on the couch.

- Xiao Dejun -

Guanheng, please take care of y/n .

Hendery cursed under his breath as he read the message from his friend. "what did this idiot do this time." Hendery mumbled as he rushed to your apartment.

Hendery arrived at your house a few minutes after Xiaojun left. the door was unlocked. Hendery quickly went in only to be greeted by your sleeping figure on the couch. he locked the front door and went to you. Hendery sighed as he saw you tear-stained face. he wiped your dry tears and carried you to your room. "she was just healing and you decided to break her again.". Hendery mumbled as he placed you on your bed. you stirred in your sleep and woke up slowly. you saw Hendery standing beside your bed with a worried look. he sat on the edge of your bed and held your hands. "he is an idiot. i am going to talk to him later alright? he is going to make this wo--". his words were cut off as you shook your head. "no Hendery. he is not going to turn back anymore. i know him. this is what he wanted. he thinks this is the best choice.". you tried to say but broke down right after. Hendery sighed and pulled your head towards his chest. "i'm here. i'm here. it's okay , just cry it all out. maybe this is for the best afterall. you are precious y/n and i am here to protect you always.". Hendery comforted you.

.

.

.

.

"and the best actress award goes to , Y/N !!".

the crowd cheered as you stood up from your chair, surprised that you had won the award. you bowed to your seniors and juniors as you walked up to the stage. you received the plaque from the announcer and went to the front to give your winning speech.

"first of all i would like to thank my parents for always supporting me . i thank my fans too for loving my works! i will work harder and improve myself better and better. i would like to thank those who i have worked with. without them, i might not even have the chance to be an actress and moreover, win this award. not to forget , i would also like to thank this amazing person, my friend, Hendery. thank you for being by my side all these years especially these past 4 years. he is a really good producer so check out some of his musics alright? lastly, thank you once again!". you felt your legs tremble as you went back to your seat.

♡Huang Guanheng♡

good job sweetie! and thank you for mentioning me, i am happy i could be by your side.

you smiled as you read his text. you looked up to the stage when you heard the MC called a familiar name.

"before we end the show, we would like to invite this show's biggest sponsor, from the company DJX , Mr Xiaojun , to accept our appreciation gift.". you gulped when you saw the handsome man on the stage. his previous brown locks were now blonde. his smile was still the same like before. but his features were more defined as he matured throughout these years. you gave a small smile when he looked at you and quickly looked away . *you've moved on y/n. don't give in to him.* you thought to yourself.

~

you were standing at a corner with a glass of fruitpunch, waiting for your manager to bring you back. you didn't really enjoy after-event parties but attended anyways out of politeness. you were looking around when you saw Xiaojun walked towards you. you looked up and accidentally stared right into his brown orbs. Xiaojun looked away as his ears turn red. it's been 4 years but you were still as beautiful as ever. he missed you. you still made his heart skip a beat. you smiled as he stood in front of you. "it's been a while, Xiaojun.". the way his real name rolled off your tongue hurt him . he nodded and finally looked at you. "so you and Hendery are together now?". he asked. you chuckled and shook your head. "he is just a friend. a brother. i told you before, didn't i?". you replied with a small smile. Xiaojun looked down sadly but looked back up to you. "y/n. i'm really sorry...". you chuckled again and patted his shoulder. "let the past be past ,Xiaojun. i actually wanted to thank you for all the bittersweet memories. they really help me alot in my acting . experience is what makes it easier to stay in character.". your words hurt him. like how his words hurt you 4 years ago. before Xiaojun could say anything, you were called by your manager. "oh looks like i got to go. see you when i see you!". you waved at him before leaving the ballroom.

Xiaojun sighed as he stared at your back walking away from him. he would be lying if he said he didn't regret leaving you. his life has been nothing but miserable after breaking up with you. he focused on work to distract himself but his soul was empty. before he could leave the venue, he heard the DJ introducing a song. "before leaving, the actress y/n had requested this song. she hoped all of you enjoy it.".

Xiaojun decided to stay and listened to the song you love .

I’ll love you more

If you’re gonna do that, don’t come to me

If a person like me is gonna be erased anyway

Our love that was written down on a white piece of paper

Was clear just like my tears

Just stay by my side for one day

Because this awkward break-up still feels like a dream

Love me a little more, don’t push me away

I’ll try to hide it and let out a sigh in this empty time

When your tears that filled my heart dry up a little

I will engrave you in my eyes

And let you go

Words that sounded affectionate like a friend

Words I want to hear several times a day

Words saying you love me

It makes my breath stop and heart race

But only your voice sleeps in my memories

Just stay by my side for one day

Because this awkward break-up still feels like a dream

Love me a little more, don’t push me away

I’ll try to hide it and let out a sigh in this empty time

When your tears that filled my heart dry up a little

I will engrave you in my eyes

Until you come back

You silently stop in place

With eyes, telling me not to forgive you

I guess this really won’t work

Now all there’s left is this crappy break-up

I try to catch you but you get farther away and disappear

Love me a little more, don’t push me away

I’ll try to hide it and let out a sigh in this empty time

When your tears that filled my heart dry up a little

I will engrave you in my eyes

And let you go

{ NU'EST - Love You More }

Xiaojun wiped his tears that flowed down without him even noticing.

♡BaobeiJun♡

i know it's too late... but i love you . i have always been loving you . i should've have loved you more instead of leaving you. i love you .

i hope you guys enjoyed this~ my feelings were overwhelmed when i wrote this hahaha anyways, do like and comment ! i love to hear to your feedbacks ♡♡

[terselylove]

Depression...

My experience of dealing with social anxiety is a feeling of overwhelming fear when interacting with individuals I wasn’t comfortable with. I was unable to look people in the eye when speaking to them, and struggled to keep a conversation going. I came off as both extremely quiet and shy, as well as rude, which anyone who knows me well knows I am the opposite of.

During this period of my life my self-confidence was at an all-time low, and I felt disgusted every time I looked in the mirror. I stayed away from people as much as I could, and felt I made an embarrassment of myself whenever I went out in public. I constantly had a voice in my head saying “Why would anyone want to be friends with you? You are ugly and pathetic.”...

I love summer. Lighter evenings, longer days, warmer weather, summer dresses, perhaps even some sun if we’re lucky. Generally speaking, as seems to be common with most people I speak to –  when the sun is out, I’m in a better mood. However, as someone who also experiences periods of depression, I’ve found that this isn’t generally the case when it comes to my mental health.I’m fortunate that I’m currently in a much better place at the moment but, when I think back to a few years ago, I found the summer months to be an immense struggle.When the clocks sprung forward, it all felt a little bit daunting. The things I’d usually look forward to about the change in seasons now served as reminders that I really wasn’t ok.The lighter evenings and longer days meant more time counting down the hours until it was dark enough to go to sleep. The warmer weather meant more plans to cancel and, as a result, more excuses to make up. I couldn’t even muster up the enthusiasm to decide what to wear each day – something which would ordinarily bring me a lot of enjoyment – and so the summer dresses stayed at the back of my wardrobe.Perhaps depression is a little easier to understand in the winter. It’s dark, it’s cold, most people are spending evenings at home not really doing much. If I was having a particularly bad day / week / month, it didn't feel so wrong to get home from work, change into my pyjamas and just go to bed.Yet when summer rolled around, it seemed as though everyone was out and about having the ‘best time ever’. 

And then there I was, struggling to get out of bed.For someone experiencing depression, it can be difficult to watch those around you enjoying themselves. I'd mute group chats so as not to be met with the constant barrage of plans, I'd excuse myself from after-work drinks, and I'd invent reasons not to attend BBQs and family gatherings.“But it’s such a nice day…” people would say, “you should get out the house, it might cheer you up."Yes it was a nice day but, whilst their words were well-meaning, they simply weren't helpful. I already felt as though I was wasting my summer and I knew I should get out the house, but it just didn't seem possible. A nice walk on a sunny afternoon might do wonders if I'm just having an 'off day', but depression is so much more than that, and a sunny afternoon isn't a cure.Depression doesn't care about the weather, your weekend plans, or the birthday coming up that you'd do anything to be able to enjoy. It doesn't think to itself "summer is here, time for me to disappear for the next few months."

That isn't how it works.I'm in the fortunate position of having friends I could be honest with. Friends who would still keep inviting me to things 'in case I felt up to it' and didn't judge me when I stopped replying to messages for days or weeks on end. They'd suggest shorter periods of socialising that felt a lot less daunting, and remind me that they were still around if and when I felt up to going out.In more recent years, I've managed to enjoy my summers without the weight of depression casting a shadow over them to quite the same extent, and for that I'm incredibly thankful. I think my own experience has also made me more aware of how others might be feeling, and I'd encourage anyone who thinks a friend might be struggling to try to understand and have a little patience. 

Some people understand it, some think it’s an attention call. For me, depression is like that pile of laundry that you don’t want to show in your Instagram pictures. I never want to show my pile of laundry to the world, I want my life to seem happy and put together, as if I folded and put away all my laundry right out of the dryer.Ever since high school I have suffered with extreme depression and anxiety. I can defend the issue for hours and hours, however I get embarrassed when I feel sad. I get so embarrassed when I am sad and those around me do not understand and treat me as if I’m crazy.Typically most of my life I’ve always just been called dramatic when I’m upset. It has become one of my biggest triggers, because most of my life I haven't had that fight to defend it. I just, quite simply, let it eat at me.Depression can be the hardest when others just don’t understand you. I get sad for no reason so often that I’ve created safe spaces. In our current home, my safe place is my bathroom floor. Probably about at least three times a month you can find me locked in my bathroom on the floor, crying. The lock on that door is the only form of power I feel I have at that moment.

I see you.

I share this because it’s real, I share this because everyone has that pile of laundry.

I know everyone may not have depression, but everyone has something hard they’ve experienced, everyone has something to share and everyone has something to relate to.

Many times I have found myself on that bathroom floor contemplating life and how to make it past that very moment, will I? I have to say how thankful I am that I haven’t followed through. Life is so hard. Sprinkle on some depression, heck, dump it on - and life is now even more hard.Please don’t ask me how I can be so sad I could contemplate suicide. Because honestly I do not know, nor do most people in that situation. How did we make it to this moment? What did I do to deserve this sorrow?You never know who is hurting. Those who are, we often are the most resistant, waiting for a hand to be held out for us to grab onto as the pressure of our mental being closes in on us.Check up on those who are quiet, those who check up on you; maybe conversation is being sparked due to their need to communicate. Let’s talk about our hard times, it’s healing, not embarrassing.So, here’s my laundry pile. You’re not alone.

 Depression is not an emotion - it's an illness

Ah, mental health stigma surrounding depression. The worst that's been said to me in all these years having depression is:"Don't go and have a moment on me!""Don't quit your job. I know your job has been making you feel depressed but you're being stupid. You haven't tried hard enough.""Is that all your depressed about?""Stop being ungrateful and take your Great Aunt's advice!"

Please, stop.

This is not me being lazy, ungrateful or selfish. This is me dealing, sometimes suffering, with depression. This is my demon running its black toxins through my head, poisoning my thoughts and feelings.

Depression is not an emotion, it's an illness. A completely and utterly illogical illness. Just like with colds, for example, some colds can just be a little sniffle, sneeze, etc, while some colds can completely wipe you out and keep you bed-bound for x amount of time. Whether you have a mild cold or one from hell, you still have a valid cold. People with the strongest immune systems can still be affected by them.

From an outsider’s point of view, sure, they would be able to see the positive things going on in your life. However, when depression strikes, for me at least, it feels like a part of my brain has turned off the switch to be able to enjoy things. If it's really bad, I'm unable to see the light at the end of the tunnel with whatever I'm dealing with. I can also feel like a shell of a person sometimes. It's as if my brain has temporarily sucked up my personality and misplaced it somewhere else. I'm there but not there at the same time.

I don't choose to do this, depression is basically trying to tie me down in a chair at the cinema, forcing me to watch its fake "reality" tale about how my life will always be rubbish, dark, etc and how I'm worthless. Sometimes I can fight it off, but other times it can catch me off guard and I believe it for a while. Depression, by the way, is one hell of a liar.

The best way I can describe the switch being turned off is while you can see the beautiful colours of the world, I only see black, grey and white. My favourite meal in front of me is suddenly tasteless mush. My favourite TV show/YouTube channel is changed to, what feels like, a very boring presentation about something I've never been remotely interested in. Going out with loved ones can feel like everyone is spinning around me in fast motion while I'm sitting there in slow.

Depression is one of the worst things I have ever experienced, and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. Thankfully over the last 9 years I've learned to differentiate my depression thoughts from my healthy thoughts. I know my depression is just trying to make me watch a fake tale about me and my life, like how I described earlier, but I know I can beat it each and every time it knocks me. Depression might be strong but I'm much, much stronger.

Please do not judge other people's struggles and do listen to what they have to say. Their mountain may be a molehill to you, but everyone is different and everyone’s feelings are valid. Please, please always remember that.

For a long while, I've been having issues with mental health. I remember asking my mum one day years ago if hearing and seeing things was normal and her response still sticks with me. "You're too young and don't know what REAL mental health problems are."

At the time I was incredibly depressed, anxious and scared of myself and what I might do. Whenever I tried to reach out and ask to see someone for help because I was seeing things, she always gave an excuse to dismiss what was going on, like I needed more sleep or I needed to "stay off that phone!". I just wish she might have listened a bit more, instead of brushing me off as lying, or getting angry and impatient with me. If she had been more supportive, I would have felt more capable of handling myself during my bad episodes. 

Considering that not even my own mother would believe me, I truly felt alone and thought that no one would listen to me and brush me off as liar or even a fake. It made it hard for me to reach out for help or take care of myself in the ways I needed.

Now that I'm in my later years of university and I'm in a relationship, I've had to be truthful to myself and acknowledge that I do have issues that need help with. It's taken me even longer to learn how to trust people, that people will reach out to help me if I ask for the help I dearly need. That I won't be told I'm too young or it's because I'm tired or because I'm on my phone too much before going to sleep.

It's taken me years to realize that I need help and that no one but me can choose whether or not what I'm dealing with is real. I don't need someone to compare their own experiences to mine and deem my cry for help as valid or not. But if I had a parent that believed me and took me to someplace where I could've gotten the help I needed, I think I would've been able to cope better with my conditions now.

Some people fail to realize that mental health doesn't discriminate against age and sadly for me it was the person I looked up to most that failed me.

I never know how to explain depression to someone. It’s so different for everyone and comes in so many different forms. Some people describe their depression as a weight that holds them down, ever-present and demanding of their time. Others describe it as a shadow that looms in the back of your mind, always taunting and jabbing and trying to tear you down. Some days, you just have thicker skin. And then sometimes, depression is described like drowning. It’s wading in an ocean of poison and barely catching your breath before you’re dragged back under. 

I don’t think people understand that depression is constant. Some days it doesn’t feel as heavy, it doesn't tug and pull as hard. And other days, it knocks you down before you can even get out of bed. 

I am always fighting this constant battle with myself. I may smile and laugh and seem happy, but know that, somewhere, in the back of my mind I'm struggling. The happy interludes, the in-between where the weight doesn’t feel as heavy, are simply vacations from the reality that is my depression.

It makes me feel like a failure, no matter my successes. I feel worthless and like I’m a burden on everyone around me.

My depression is a beast that lives inside me. It whispers horrible things in my ear, tells me that I am waste of space. And all the while, I have to smile and pretend I’m okay.

That life isn’t beating me, no way. I’m too stubborn for that. I have to pretend that there isn’t some rabid animal inside of me, clawing to get its grip around my throat and snuff out my life. 

People who don’t have depression don’t understand. But they can still be there for people like me. When they say something that scares you, don’t yell. Don’t get angry because you don’t comprehend how their mind works.

My mind is a scary place. I shouldn’t need to open up and spill my darkness for your compassion.  

Support people with depression, even if you don’t understand. Just be there. 

[dragons-in-bowties-blog]

5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead

5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead

The classic-and somewhat unbelievable-'90s hijinks of Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead may have inspired my wardrobe, but it seems unlikely that I'll ever turn to the film for any advice on taking care of children.

My own career in babysitting was short-lived, coming to an abrupt halt after I realized that, maybe, I just wasn't cut out for taking care of anyone else. Although I may have prematurely hung up my babysitter hat, I can still recall watching Christina Applegate (Sue Ellen Crandell) take on the role of temporary mom for her younger siblings when their real mom is in Australia and their babysitter suddenly dies. Nearly 28 years since the 1991 film came out, I still watch the movie with horror, realizing that this may have been the worst example of babysitting depicted in modern-day cinema. Sue Ellen will likely never be invited to join The Baby_Sitters Club, and if you have any doubt, I went ahead and compiled every babysitting don't that was depicted in the film.

1. Never hide the death of your original babysitter from a parent or guardian.

Sue Ellen may have been 17 and completely capable of babysitting her group of siblings, but, once the whole dead babysitter plot of the storyline came true, it would have been best for her to come clean. Aside from the fact that she chose not to tell her mom, Sue Ellen's biggest mistake was not telling anyone about the death. Instead, she wraps her babysitter up in a bed sheet and deposits her at the mortuary. If this scene wasn't a sign that Sue Ellen should not be entrusted with the care of anyone, let anyone children, then I don't know what is.

2. Don't involve children in a plot that includes hiding the death of your babysitter.

Sue Ellen seems like a reasonable almost-adult-she does pass herself off as an executive assistant for weeks so that she can earn money for her family. But involving her much younger siblings in a cover-up of her babysitter's death is a definite don't. I have very limited babysitting experience, but I personally believe that children in your care should only be worried about whether they'll have pizza for dinner-not whether the police will find out that their guardian died.

3. Don't lose track of your spending money.

A babysitter is often entrusted with any potential spending money, and while most babysitters have no trouble keeping an eye on the kids, or the cash, Sue Ellen immediately loses their funds. Although it's possible that their babysitter had the money, Sue Ellen later loses another round of cash, and was oblivious to the fact that her siblings were stealing from her. If she had kept a closer eye on her money, then she would have never had to work a single shift at the Clown Dog, and she could have also avoided faking an adult identity to get a job with a clothing company.

4. Please, don't trust your reckless younger sibling with the children.

After Sue Ellen lost all of their spending money and neglected to tell her mom that the babysitter had died, she was forced to work, and thus, her younger brother was left in charge. You should never pass off your babysitting responsibilities, especially when the secondary caretaker is an irresponsible younger brother. While Sue Ellen was working her 9 to 5, her brother became responsible for three siblings: One broke their leg, one stole money to buy a diamond ring for their girlfriend, and one just never did the dishes.

5. Throwing a giant party is always a bad idea.

Never in the history of babysitting has throwing a giant party without your parents knowing worked out. This proves especially true in the case of Sue Ellen, as she chooses to host a lavish corporate event at her home. Looking past her obviously bad choice to ask her younger siblings and their friends to act as servers for the evening, it was Sue Ellen's decision to ultimately throw the party that proved to be her biggest mistake. Obviously, her mom found out, and once again, I learned that whether in Hollywood or real life, you never get away with secretly throwing a giant party.

In the end, it all worked out for Sue Ellen, and she proved to be an alright babysitter. It seems unlikely that a Hollywood happy ending would extend itself to any similar real life situation, but at least the film did teach me some valuable babysitter life lessons. Years later I've realized that, perhaps, the most important lesson I learned from this film was that I actually wasn't so bad at babysitting after all.

The post 5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead appeared first on HelloGiggles.

[fuckyeahslightlyamusing-blog]

5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead

5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead

The classic-and somewhat unbelievable-'90s hijinks of Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead may have inspired my wardrobe, but it seems unlikely that I'll ever turn to the film for any advice on taking care of children.

My own career in babysitting was short-lived, coming to an abrupt halt after I realized that, maybe, I just wasn't cut out for taking care of anyone else. Although I may have prematurely hung up my babysitter hat, I can still recall watching Christina Applegate (Sue Ellen Crandell) take on the role of temporary mom for her younger siblings when their real mom is in Australia and their babysitter suddenly dies. Nearly 28 years since the 1991 film came out, I still watch the movie with horror, realizing that this may have been the worst example of babysitting depicted in modern-day cinema. Sue Ellen will likely never be invited to join The Baby_Sitters Club, and if you have any doubt, I went ahead and compiled every babysitting don't that was depicted in the film.

1. Never hide the death of your original babysitter from a parent or guardian.

Sue Ellen may have been 17 and completely capable of babysitting her group of siblings, but, once the whole dead babysitter plot of the storyline came true, it would have been best for her to come clean. Aside from the fact that she chose not to tell her mom, Sue Ellen's biggest mistake was not telling anyone about the death. Instead, she wraps her babysitter up in a bed sheet and deposits her at the mortuary. If this scene wasn't a sign that Sue Ellen should not be entrusted with the care of anyone, let anyone children, then I don't know what is.

2. Don't involve children in a plot that includes hiding the death of your babysitter.

Sue Ellen seems like a reasonable almost-adult-she does pass herself off as an executive assistant for weeks so that she can earn money for her family. But involving her much younger siblings in a cover-up of her babysitter's death is a definite don't. I have very limited babysitting experience, but I personally believe that children in your care should only be worried about whether they'll have pizza for dinner-not whether the police will find out that their guardian died.

3. Don't lose track of your spending money.

A babysitter is often entrusted with any potential spending money, and while most babysitters have no trouble keeping an eye on the kids, or the cash, Sue Ellen immediately loses their funds. Although it's possible that their babysitter had the money, Sue Ellen later loses another round of cash, and was oblivious to the fact that her siblings were stealing from her. If she had kept a closer eye on her money, then she would have never had to work a single shift at the Clown Dog, and she could have also avoided faking an adult identity to get a job with a clothing company.

4. Please, don't trust your reckless younger sibling with the children.

After Sue Ellen lost all of their spending money and neglected to tell her mom that the babysitter had died, she was forced to work, and thus, her younger brother was left in charge. You should never pass off your babysitting responsibilities, especially when the secondary caretaker is an irresponsible younger brother. While Sue Ellen was working her 9 to 5, her brother became responsible for three siblings: One broke their leg, one stole money to buy a diamond ring for their girlfriend, and one just never did the dishes.

5. Throwing a giant party is always a bad idea.

Never in the history of babysitting has throwing a giant party without your parents knowing worked out. This proves especially true in the case of Sue Ellen, as she chooses to host a lavish corporate event at her home. Looking past her obviously bad choice to ask her younger siblings and their friends to act as servers for the evening, it was Sue Ellen's decision to ultimately throw the party that proved to be her biggest mistake. Obviously, her mom found out, and once again, I learned that whether in Hollywood or real life, you never get away with secretly throwing a giant party.

In the end, it all worked out for Sue Ellen, and she proved to be an alright babysitter. It seems unlikely that a Hollywood happy ending would extend itself to any similar real life situation, but at least the film did teach me some valuable babysitter life lessons. Years later I've realized that, perhaps, the most important lesson I learned from this film was that I actually wasn't so bad at babysitting after all.

The post 5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead appeared first on HelloGiggles.

[typhoonprecious-blog]

5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead

5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead

The classic-and somewhat unbelievable-'90s hijinks of Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead may have inspired my wardrobe, but it seems unlikely that I'll ever turn to the film for any advice on taking care of children.

My own career in babysitting was short-lived, coming to an abrupt halt after I realized that, maybe, I just wasn't cut out for taking care of anyone else. Although I may have prematurely hung up my babysitter hat, I can still recall watching Christina Applegate (Sue Ellen Crandell) take on the role of temporary mom for her younger siblings when their real mom is in Australia and their babysitter suddenly dies. Nearly 28 years since the 1991 film came out, I still watch the movie with horror, realizing that this may have been the worst example of babysitting depicted in modern-day cinema. Sue Ellen will likely never be invited to join The Baby_Sitters Club, and if you have any doubt, I went ahead and compiled every babysitting don't that was depicted in the film.

1. Never hide the death of your original babysitter from a parent or guardian.

Sue Ellen may have been 17 and completely capable of babysitting her group of siblings, but, once the whole dead babysitter plot of the storyline came true, it would have been best for her to come clean. Aside from the fact that she chose not to tell her mom, Sue Ellen's biggest mistake was not telling anyone about the death. Instead, she wraps her babysitter up in a bed sheet and deposits her at the mortuary. If this scene wasn't a sign that Sue Ellen should not be entrusted with the care of anyone, let anyone children, then I don't know what is.

2. Don't involve children in a plot that includes hiding the death of your babysitter.

Sue Ellen seems like a reasonable almost-adult-she does pass herself off as an executive assistant for weeks so that she can earn money for her family. But involving her much younger siblings in a cover-up of her babysitter's death is a definite don't. I have very limited babysitting experience, but I personally believe that children in your care should only be worried about whether they'll have pizza for dinner-not whether the police will find out that their guardian died.

3. Don't lose track of your spending money.

A babysitter is often entrusted with any potential spending money, and while most babysitters have no trouble keeping an eye on the kids, or the cash, Sue Ellen immediately loses their funds. Although it's possible that their babysitter had the money, Sue Ellen later loses another round of cash, and was oblivious to the fact that her siblings were stealing from her. If she had kept a closer eye on her money, then she would have never had to work a single shift at the Clown Dog, and she could have also avoided faking an adult identity to get a job with a clothing company.

4. Please, don't trust your reckless younger sibling with the children.

After Sue Ellen lost all of their spending money and neglected to tell her mom that the babysitter had died, she was forced to work, and thus, her younger brother was left in charge. You should never pass off your babysitting responsibilities, especially when the secondary caretaker is an irresponsible younger brother. While Sue Ellen was working her 9 to 5, her brother became responsible for three siblings: One broke their leg, one stole money to buy a diamond ring for their girlfriend, and one just never did the dishes.

5. Throwing a giant party is always a bad idea.

Never in the history of babysitting has throwing a giant party without your parents knowing worked out. This proves especially true in the case of Sue Ellen, as she chooses to host a lavish corporate event at her home. Looking past her obviously bad choice to ask her younger siblings and their friends to act as servers for the evening, it was Sue Ellen's decision to ultimately throw the party that proved to be her biggest mistake. Obviously, her mom found out, and once again, I learned that whether in Hollywood or real life, you never get away with secretly throwing a giant party.

In the end, it all worked out for Sue Ellen, and she proved to be an alright babysitter. It seems unlikely that a Hollywood happy ending would extend itself to any similar real life situation, but at least the film did teach me some valuable babysitter life lessons. Years later I've realized that, perhaps, the most important lesson I learned from this film was that I actually wasn't so bad at babysitting after all.

The post 5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead appeared first on HelloGiggles.

[tothe-tooth-blog]

5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead

5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead

The classic-and somewhat unbelievable-'90s hijinks of Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead may have inspired my wardrobe, but it seems unlikely that I'll ever turn to the film for any advice on taking care of children.

My own career in babysitting was short-lived, coming to an abrupt halt after I realized that, maybe, I just wasn't cut out for taking care of anyone else. Although I may have prematurely hung up my babysitter hat, I can still recall watching Christina Applegate (Sue Ellen Crandell) take on the role of temporary mom for her younger siblings when their real mom is in Australia and their babysitter suddenly dies. Nearly 28 years since the 1991 film came out, I still watch the movie with horror, realizing that this may have been the worst example of babysitting depicted in modern-day cinema. Sue Ellen will likely never be invited to join The Baby_Sitters Club, and if you have any doubt, I went ahead and compiled every babysitting don't that was depicted in the film.

1. Never hide the death of your original babysitter from a parent or guardian.

Sue Ellen may have been 17 and completely capable of babysitting her group of siblings, but, once the whole dead babysitter plot of the storyline came true, it would have been best for her to come clean. Aside from the fact that she chose not to tell her mom, Sue Ellen's biggest mistake was not telling anyone about the death. Instead, she wraps her babysitter up in a bed sheet and deposits her at the mortuary. If this scene wasn't a sign that Sue Ellen should not be entrusted with the care of anyone, let anyone children, then I don't know what is.

2. Don't involve children in a plot that includes hiding the death of your babysitter.

Sue Ellen seems like a reasonable almost-adult-she does pass herself off as an executive assistant for weeks so that she can earn money for her family. But involving her much younger siblings in a cover-up of her babysitter's death is a definite don't. I have very limited babysitting experience, but I personally believe that children in your care should only be worried about whether they'll have pizza for dinner-not whether the police will find out that their guardian died.

3. Don't lose track of your spending money.

A babysitter is often entrusted with any potential spending money, and while most babysitters have no trouble keeping an eye on the kids, or the cash, Sue Ellen immediately loses their funds. Although it's possible that their babysitter had the money, Sue Ellen later loses another round of cash, and was oblivious to the fact that her siblings were stealing from her. If she had kept a closer eye on her money, then she would have never had to work a single shift at the Clown Dog, and she could have also avoided faking an adult identity to get a job with a clothing company.

4. Please, don't trust your reckless younger sibling with the children.

After Sue Ellen lost all of their spending money and neglected to tell her mom that the babysitter had died, she was forced to work, and thus, her younger brother was left in charge. You should never pass off your babysitting responsibilities, especially when the secondary caretaker is an irresponsible younger brother. While Sue Ellen was working her 9 to 5, her brother became responsible for three siblings: One broke their leg, one stole money to buy a diamond ring for their girlfriend, and one just never did the dishes.

5. Throwing a giant party is always a bad idea.

Never in the history of babysitting has throwing a giant party without your parents knowing worked out. This proves especially true in the case of Sue Ellen, as she chooses to host a lavish corporate event at her home. Looking past her obviously bad choice to ask her younger siblings and their friends to act as servers for the evening, it was Sue Ellen's decision to ultimately throw the party that proved to be her biggest mistake. Obviously, her mom found out, and once again, I learned that whether in Hollywood or real life, you never get away with secretly throwing a giant party.

In the end, it all worked out for Sue Ellen, and she proved to be an alright babysitter. It seems unlikely that a Hollywood happy ending would extend itself to any similar real life situation, but at least the film did teach me some valuable babysitter life lessons. Years later I've realized that, perhaps, the most important lesson I learned from this film was that I actually wasn't so bad at babysitting after all.

The post 5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead appeared first on HelloGiggles.

[inkundu1]

5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead

5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead

The classic-and somewhat unbelievable-'90s hijinks of Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead may have inspired my wardrobe, but it seems unlikely that I'll ever turn to the film for any advice on taking care of children.

My own career in babysitting was short-lived, coming to an abrupt halt after I realized that, maybe, I just wasn't cut out for taking care of anyone else. Although I may have prematurely hung up my babysitter hat, I can still recall watching Christina Applegate (Sue Ellen Crandell) take on the role of temporary mom for her younger siblings when their real mom is in Australia and their babysitter suddenly dies. Nearly 28 years since the 1991 film came out, I still watch the movie with horror, realizing that this may have been the worst example of babysitting depicted in modern-day cinema. Sue Ellen will likely never be invited to join The Baby_Sitters Club, and if you have any doubt, I went ahead and compiled every babysitting don't that was depicted in the film.

1. Never hide the death of your original babysitter from a parent or guardian.

Sue Ellen may have been 17 and completely capable of babysitting her group of siblings, but, once the whole dead babysitter plot of the storyline came true, it would have been best for her to come clean. Aside from the fact that she chose not to tell her mom, Sue Ellen's biggest mistake was not telling anyone about the death. Instead, she wraps her babysitter up in a bed sheet and deposits her at the mortuary. If this scene wasn't a sign that Sue Ellen should not be entrusted with the care of anyone, let anyone children, then I don't know what is.

2. Don't involve children in a plot that includes hiding the death of your babysitter.

Sue Ellen seems like a reasonable almost-adult-she does pass herself off as an executive assistant for weeks so that she can earn money for her family. But involving her much younger siblings in a cover-up of her babysitter's death is a definite don't. I have very limited babysitting experience, but I personally believe that children in your care should only be worried about whether they'll have pizza for dinner-not whether the police will find out that their guardian died.

3. Don't lose track of your spending money.

A babysitter is often entrusted with any potential spending money, and while most babysitters have no trouble keeping an eye on the kids, or the cash, Sue Ellen immediately loses their funds. Although it's possible that their babysitter had the money, Sue Ellen later loses another round of cash, and was oblivious to the fact that her siblings were stealing from her. If she had kept a closer eye on her money, then she would have never had to work a single shift at the Clown Dog, and she could have also avoided faking an adult identity to get a job with a clothing company.

4. Please, don't trust your reckless younger sibling with the children.

After Sue Ellen lost all of their spending money and neglected to tell her mom that the babysitter had died, she was forced to work, and thus, her younger brother was left in charge. You should never pass off your babysitting responsibilities, especially when the secondary caretaker is an irresponsible younger brother. While Sue Ellen was working her 9 to 5, her brother became responsible for three siblings: One broke their leg, one stole money to buy a diamond ring for their girlfriend, and one just never did the dishes.

5. Throwing a giant party is always a bad idea.

Never in the history of babysitting has throwing a giant party without your parents knowing worked out. This proves especially true in the case of Sue Ellen, as she chooses to host a lavish corporate event at her home. Looking past her obviously bad choice to ask her younger siblings and their friends to act as servers for the evening, it was Sue Ellen's decision to ultimately throw the party that proved to be her biggest mistake. Obviously, her mom found out, and once again, I learned that whether in Hollywood or real life, you never get away with secretly throwing a giant party.

In the end, it all worked out for Sue Ellen, and she proved to be an alright babysitter. It seems unlikely that a Hollywood happy ending would extend itself to any similar real life situation, but at least the film did teach me some valuable babysitter life lessons. Years later I've realized that, perhaps, the most important lesson I learned from this film was that I actually wasn't so bad at babysitting after all.

The post 5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead appeared first on HelloGiggles.

[cowgirluli-blog]

5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead

5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead

The classic-and somewhat unbelievable-'90s hijinks of Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead may have inspired my wardrobe, but it seems unlikely that I'll ever turn to the film for any advice on taking care of children.

My own career in babysitting was short-lived, coming to an abrupt halt after I realized that, maybe, I just wasn't cut out for taking care of anyone else. Although I may have prematurely hung up my babysitter hat, I can still recall watching Christina Applegate (Sue Ellen Crandell) take on the role of temporary mom for her younger siblings when their real mom is in Australia and their babysitter suddenly dies. Nearly 28 years since the 1991 film came out, I still watch the movie with horror, realizing that this may have been the worst example of babysitting depicted in modern-day cinema. Sue Ellen will likely never be invited to join The Baby_Sitters Club, and if you have any doubt, I went ahead and compiled every babysitting don't that was depicted in the film.

1. Never hide the death of your original babysitter from a parent or guardian.

Sue Ellen may have been 17 and completely capable of babysitting her group of siblings, but, once the whole dead babysitter plot of the storyline came true, it would have been best for her to come clean. Aside from the fact that she chose not to tell her mom, Sue Ellen's biggest mistake was not telling anyone about the death. Instead, she wraps her babysitter up in a bed sheet and deposits her at the mortuary. If this scene wasn't a sign that Sue Ellen should not be entrusted with the care of anyone, let anyone children, then I don't know what is.

2. Don't involve children in a plot that includes hiding the death of your babysitter.

Sue Ellen seems like a reasonable almost-adult-she does pass herself off as an executive assistant for weeks so that she can earn money for her family. But involving her much younger siblings in a cover-up of her babysitter's death is a definite don't. I have very limited babysitting experience, but I personally believe that children in your care should only be worried about whether they'll have pizza for dinner-not whether the police will find out that their guardian died.

3. Don't lose track of your spending money.

A babysitter is often entrusted with any potential spending money, and while most babysitters have no trouble keeping an eye on the kids, or the cash, Sue Ellen immediately loses their funds. Although it's possible that their babysitter had the money, Sue Ellen later loses another round of cash, and was oblivious to the fact that her siblings were stealing from her. If she had kept a closer eye on her money, then she would have never had to work a single shift at the Clown Dog, and she could have also avoided faking an adult identity to get a job with a clothing company.

4. Please, don't trust your reckless younger sibling with the children.

After Sue Ellen lost all of their spending money and neglected to tell her mom that the babysitter had died, she was forced to work, and thus, her younger brother was left in charge. You should never pass off your babysitting responsibilities, especially when the secondary caretaker is an irresponsible younger brother. While Sue Ellen was working her 9 to 5, her brother became responsible for three siblings: One broke their leg, one stole money to buy a diamond ring for their girlfriend, and one just never did the dishes.

5. Throwing a giant party is always a bad idea.

Never in the history of babysitting has throwing a giant party without your parents knowing worked out. This proves especially true in the case of Sue Ellen, as she chooses to host a lavish corporate event at her home. Looking past her obviously bad choice to ask her younger siblings and their friends to act as servers for the evening, it was Sue Ellen's decision to ultimately throw the party that proved to be her biggest mistake. Obviously, her mom found out, and once again, I learned that whether in Hollywood or real life, you never get away with secretly throwing a giant party.

In the end, it all worked out for Sue Ellen, and she proved to be an alright babysitter. It seems unlikely that a Hollywood happy ending would extend itself to any similar real life situation, but at least the film did teach me some valuable babysitter life lessons. Years later I've realized that, perhaps, the most important lesson I learned from this film was that I actually wasn't so bad at babysitting after all.

The post 5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead appeared first on HelloGiggles.

[ungracefulswan-blog]

5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead

5 babysitting don'ts I learned from Don't Tell Mom The Babysitter's Dead

The classic-and somewhat unbelievable-'90s hijinks of Don't Tell Mom the Babysitter's Dead may have inspired my wardrobe, but it seems unlikely that I'll ever turn to the film for any advice on taking care of children.

My own career in babysitting was short-lived, coming to an abrupt halt after I realized that, maybe, I just wasn't cut out for taking care of anyone else. Although I may have prematurely hung up my babysitter hat, I can still recall watching Christina Applegate (Sue Ellen Crandell) take on the role of temporary mom for her younger siblings when their real mom is in Australia and their babysitter suddenly dies. Nearly 28 years since the 1991 film came out, I still watch the movie with horror, realizing that this may have been the worst example of babysitting depicted in modern-day cinema. Sue Ellen will likely never be invited to join The Baby_Sitters Club, and if you have any doubt, I went ahead and compiled every babysitting don't that was depicted in the film.

1. Never hide the death of your original babysitter from a parent or guardian.

Sue Ellen may have been 17 and completely capable of babysitting her group of siblings, but, once the whole dead babysitter plot of the storyline came true, it would have been best for her to come clean. Aside from the fact that she chose not to tell her mom, Sue Ellen's biggest mistake was not telling anyone about the death. Instead, she wraps her babysitter up in a bed sheet and deposits her at the mortuary. If this scene wasn't a sign that Sue Ellen should not be entrusted with the care of anyone, let anyone children, then I don't know what is.

2. Don't involve children in a plot that includes hiding the death of your babysitter.

Sue Ellen seems like a reasonable almost-adult-she does pass herself off as an executive assistant for weeks so that she can earn money for her family. But involving her much younger siblings in a cover-up of her babysitter's death is a definite don't. I have very limited babysitting experience, but I personally believe that children in your care should only be worried about whether they'll have pizza for dinner-not whether the police will find out that their guardian died.

3. Don't lose track of your spending money.

A babysitter is often entrusted with any potential spending money, and while most babysitters have no trouble keeping an eye on the kids, or the cash, Sue Ellen immediately loses their funds. Although it's possible that their babysitter had the money, Sue Ellen later loses another round of cash, and was oblivious to the fact that her siblings were stealing from her. If she had kept a closer eye on her money, then she would have never had to work a single shift at the Clown Dog, and she could have also avoided faking an adult identity to get a job with a clothing company.

4. Please, don't trust your reckless younger sibling with the children.

After Sue Ellen lost all of their spending money and neglected to tell her mom that the babysitter had died, she was forced to work, and thus, her younger brother was left in charge. You should never pass off your babysitting responsibilities, especially when the secondary caretaker is an irresponsible younger brother. While Sue Ellen was working her 9 to 5, her brother became responsible for three siblings: One broke their leg, one stole money to buy a diamond ring for their girlfriend, and one just never did the dishes.

5. Throwing a giant party is always a bad idea.

Never in the history of babysitting has throwing a giant party without your parents knowing worked out. This proves especially true in the case of Sue Ellen, as she chooses to host a lavish corporate event at her home. Looking past her obviously bad choice to ask her younger siblings and their friends to act as servers for the evening, it was Sue Ellen's decision to ultimately throw the party that proved to be her biggest mistake. Obviously, her mom found out, and once again, I learned that whether in Hollywood or real life, you never get away with secretly throwing a giant party.

In the end, it all worked out for Sue Ellen, and she proved to be an alright babysitter. It seems unlikely that a Hollywood happy ending would extend itself to any similar real life situation, but at least the film did teach me some valuable babysitter life lessons. Years later I've realized that, perhaps, the most important lesson I learned from this film was that I actually wasn't so bad at babysitting after all.

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