#I don't want to be deemed ''crazy'' and thus have my personal freedom and self-determination taken away mainly by my parents

[thisismycorneroftheinternet]

I realize that to others, having recurrent suicidal thoughts and other violent intrusive thoughts, having several coping mechanisms that are in some way or another self-harm and dangerous habits, having difficult to control memory flashbacks out of the blue that ruin your entire mood and bring you down, and having a generally almost constant level of demotivation and negativeness, derealization and depersonalization, and sheer panicked internal anxiety and paranoia that can go overboard at any second, are not normal. But like, that's been most of my life since I was 13ish, very few times I have not felt this way. I've just learned to carry on and not talk too much about it, because it scandalizes people to hear that sort of stuff, and that means they turn against you and abandon you, because they think I am either too much to handle or am acting out too much.