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#I don't wanna be edgy but fuck off people who thinks like that pls kys
justvora · 1 year
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"A brief vent"
I'm honestly pretty bummed out. Earlier I saw a tweet from a big, official united nations account, or something like that, that said that "Trans Lesbians are lesbians", and damn, I honestly couldn't think it was more accurate, correct and beautiful.
My mistake was looking at the comments. There was so much transphobia and homophobia that I started to feel anxious.
Thousands of comments and quotes laughing, saying that this is not so and…. Lots of things I won't mention, for my sake and the sake of anyone else who bothered to read this.
It just overwhelms me to see all the people out there who think that way. I was making enough progress to come out of the closet, at least to my parents, so I could take enough of a step to get on hormones and have a different gender expression, to see myself as I really want to see myself…. But all of this has made me feel afraid, more than ever. With a fear of rejection and being a subject of ridicule and negative comments….. Overwhelming.
I don't know. I just feel like I'm going through a maelstrom that's suffocating me, that makes me feel like, if I keep falling into all this, I'll never be clear on what I want to be. For that's another thing, my confusion with my own gender identity. I just know that I'm not a man, and that I don't feel like one. I feel comfortable being treated as feminine by girls, but when I'm treated by guys that way it's… uncomfortable, so I prefer it to be more neutral, masculine, come on.
I know I shouldn't let these things affect me, but it's not something I can control.
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