#I don't think most people know how totally clueless I was when I first joined around three months ago like im still clueless

[this-is-krikkit]

levihan for the chart?

thanks for the ask, Anon!

send a (real or crack) ship to get charted!

have my take on (canon) Levihan here:

and have a lengthy explanation beneath the read more link 😁

listen, i love these two fuckers to death and back and they're both unquestionably good people, but let's be real: they are insufferable together. now, i put them there on this chart according to the canon of them, where they're not officially a romantic thing, so keep that in mind.

Hange and Levi are such complementary opposites, they're making each other's most off-putting traits worse: Hange's curiosity and excitement are enhanced tenfold when they meet Levi and his amazing abilities, whereas his reaction to their overly friendly behavior is to bite back with even more of a grumpy attitude (which is not his entire personality, obviously, but may look like it to many people who only know him from afar and from his public interactions with Hange). which in turn only makes Hange even more hungry to unravel the mystery that he is, not only as Humanity's Strongest but also as a person and fellow soldier who did not join their ranks in the most conventional way after that. and you know that's just gonna drive Levi even crazier, right??

the thing is, i also think they make each other worse in the sense that neither of them has a healthy, normal way to relate to other people, Levi because of his background, and Hange because of their already advanced position as a veteran Scout who's been around for a few expeditions when he's introduced and their own backstory probably but WHO KNOWS BECAUSE WE STILL DON'T GOT CANON INFO ABOUT IT DO W- anyway. and so, i'm a hundred per cent sure it would take them years to realize they're in love with each other, because this banter-filled, bickering friendship they have going on that's absolutely Abnormal (you don't bathe your friends and you don't know your friend's knock by ear alone and you don't spend sleepless nights exchanging theories about Titans while Levi pretends to be annoyed and Hange rambles on and on and doesn't realize he's sneaking them pieces of food to make sure they don't fucking perish because Moblit begged him to at dinner that night when they once again didn't show up (.... yeah that last one was fully my own lil mind, but the first 2 examples are canon!!)) seems so natural to both of them they don't even question how it looks or what it could mean? they're so fucking clueless like, hell yeah we share a bed, but only because Hange won't get into one if Levi doesn't lie there with them under the pretense of discussing whatever they want, and he himself doesn't get any sleep if they're not snoring lightly in his ears; and that's just one of the quirks that make every single new Scout convinced they're dating/married. they're both emotionally constipated for various reasons and worsening that in each other, and you know what the worst part it? they would only giggle (well, Hange would giggle, Levi would bite back a smile) at that accusation from Miche because of the shit joke in there neither of them could resist, and would completely miss the point.

mind you, i obviously think they make each other better in general, Levi by being one of the persons who tether Hange to real life while indulging in their crazy once he learns how to handle it and Hange by helping him open up to others instead of only being wary of them while being able to take his soemtimes harsh words (and then in many different ways as each other's support though the many MANY shitstorms they suffer together). i just think, when it comes to interacting with one another in canon? total mentos + coke, fucking pariahs, couldn't stand being their friend for one day without yelling at them to get their shit together already and get married.

[altocat]

How about some angeal/gen/seph headcanons? 🥺 This is my second seph otp, I don't know how you feel about the three of them together but I know sephgen is your endgame ship so I thought you might at least have a stance on this ship already 👀

Ooh, A/G/S. That's a nice ship. I also really like Sephgeal as well, though that one is severely unexplored.

I'm not typically a polyshipper, as I generally prefer writing one on one dynamics, but I DEFINITELY stan people supporting them as an OT3. They'd have amazing chemistry and I can see why so many people love the three of them together romantically. They might not be part of my general fic canon as it stands, but I'm totally down for some AU headcanons here...

-Gen and Angeal are both mutually in love with Sephiroth and pretty much always were. Because, you know, it's Seph. Half of Shinra is in love with him even though he's completely clueless most of the time. Genesis and Angeal are already an affectionate item due to essentially being together since childhood. But upon discovering that they've both also got it pretty bad for Seph, they offer to bring him in.

-At first, Seph has utterly no idea how to react to this, pulling his typical Altoverse theatrics of being in AGGRESSIVE denial and isolationism when it comes to addressing his sexuality. They're really gentle and nice about it though, affirming their feelings and assuring him that everything's okay. With Angeal there to mediate, there's less lying and pussyfooting between Seph and Gen. Eventually, Sephiroth admits that he IS attracted to both of them. They're his best friends and...well, he trusts them. They both know he'd be lost without them. So after a lot of poking and prodding, he decides to join with them. And finds that he regrets nothing.

-Their overall dynamic is much in the same as their friendship, just with a LOT more reassurance and probably a lot more communication. Gen and Sephiroth are both very physical and volatile together, so Angeal is very good at keeping them both relaxed and chill. They, in turn, are oddly gooey and affectionate towards him, maybe sensing how much BS and wrangling he constantly has to go through. I just think any relationship with Angeal brings out really mushy, sappy feelings in anyone.

-Living together, there's a lot of squabbling, objects breaking, and general chaos. But socially, they cultivate an unspoken oath to always look after each other. Everyone validates Angeal's code of honor. Everyone assures Genesis that he doesn't have to prove anything and that he isn't inferior. Everyone reminds Sephiroth that what Shinra did to him in the past wasn't okay and that it's okay for him to be upset about it. And so on.

-They take turns cooking. Whenever it's not Angeal, the place nearly burns down.

-The insult jar is often initiated. Angeal says if this is going to work, there will be NO ugly words between them EVER. And that doesn't mean you get to sneak some into your crummy poetry, Gen!

-Bathing hour is sacred hour. But now it's more crowded. Both Genesis and Angeal often get to participate in the much-coveted Seph-hair-brushie-brushie time. A legendary occurrence for the ages.

-They play cards and drink together every Friday. Genesis almost always cheats.

-Both Genesis and Sephiroth are both WAY into the Angeal beardie. Angeal has to deal with some rather unholy repercussions 😈

-Sephiroth is the middle spoon. Every time. This is not up for debate.

[haik-choo]

I don't write cause I feel I don't have a good grasp on the characters personalities etc, the characterisation of akaashi post is so helpful! 👀👀 Would you do kuroo or bokuto?

a/n: I hope you like both of these! again, if yall want me to do others, let me know! these are across the span of their life, so some may seem college-related and some may seem young-adulty! 

[MISCHARACTERIZATIONS OF BOKUTO AND KUROO]

bokuto kotaro.

clueless: i’ve stated this in akaashi’s post, but bokuto is extremely emotionally intelligent. he can pick up on the slightest changes in people’s demeanor or posture, he can tell if someone is sad or happy even if they aren’t good at displaying emotions. he’s not a dumbass -- and he can pick up on others’ limits and boundaries very quickly. despite his ability to read people relatively well, he has no qualms about pushing people out of their comfort zones and forcing them to do things they might hate at first, but will love later. he pushes boundaries according to your comfort level, and respects your hard limits. 

only positive: a lot of people write bokuto to be someone ho’s only happy-go-lucky, or someone who rarely gets sad (aside from his moods that are less sad and more discouraged), but I think that almost dehumanizes him. he gets back up faster than most, yes, and at the end of a lost game where everyone is crying, bokuto is dry-eyed. he’s the type to get home and plop down on his bed, face-first into his pillow, lips quivering and eyes lightly watering. there are times where he feels insecure, especially when he’s younger, just because he can tell he’s different from the rest. he has a feeling that people are put-off from his personality, he has a feeling that he’s not as (traditionally/academically) smart as everyone else, he has a feeling that some people find him annoying. that’s why when he’s near his close friends he’s very loose -- he doesn’t feel the need to hold back even a little because he knows that they love him for him. this translates to his toxic trait with his lover being that he feels dejected/insecure if you ever want space. while he can read boundaries, he would really benefit from a lover who has just as few as he, because then he can be his truest self.

love-at-first-sight: he’s not the type to fall in love at one glance, he’s just not. yes, he might get interested or you may catch his attention, but he’s not going to fall in love with someone because they have a pretty smile. it’s not that he’s calculated or over-thinks his emotions, he knows exactly what he feels, it’s just that his heart is a little slow when it comes to falling in love. he’s such an energetic all-over-the-place person that love is never really on his mind (he gets into some trouble with accidentally leading girls on because he’s so friendly). when he eventually falls in love, though....oh boy. he stutters, he’s over-thinking all his movements when it comes to you -- he’s usually impulsive but with you he really, really doesn’t want to screw up. he wants everything to go smoothly -- so he’s the type to plan out a confession and actually try to stick to it. when it comes to something like love, bokuto is surprisingly slow and careful, because he knows how fragile a heart is. 

never gets angry: i think most people like to imagine his anger is so rare because the image of an angry bokuto is scary, especially with his stature. and while it’s true his anger is uncommon (because he’s good at processing his own emotions and not lashing out at others), when he does get angry it can be pretty unnerving. he’s the type to slam his fist on the counter unknowingly when having a really bad fight with his lover, and he has a booming voice. he’d never hit someone, but he doesn’t realize how intimidating his physique is. anger is uncommon, but that doesn’t mean he’s not scary. he always apologize afterwards, though.

boundless confidence: i touched on it earlier, that he has bouts of insecurity, but again, i really want to emphasize that he’s not endlessly confident. honestly, maybe in the anime and manga he seems that way, but if you want to make him more human, have more life than a fictional character, you have to create limits or certain traits. bokuto is very sensitive, and the slightest thing can either inflate his ego or deflate it. plays in volleyball constantly not working may dig at his confidence, but he always re-inflates. in real life, outside the court, there are things that keep his confidence low everytime they happen. fights with his lover are one of these things; he’ll get jealous when they leave the apartment after a fight because he’ll worry about you finding someone more stable than him. jealousy alone is a solid sign of chipped confidence, something that someone as sensitive as bokuto gets every once in a while. 

overall, bokuto is a lot more intelligent than what people give him credit for. he’s honest with his own emotions and can read people very well, which is probably why he’s such a people person, but he still has flaws. he does not have boundless confidence or have no perception of boundaries; he’s unbelievably understanding. he may be initially insecure, have intimidating anger, etc. but ,after all, he’s human, isn’t he? 

kuroo tetsuro. 

sex god: don’t get me wrong, I definitely believe that he’s had a lover or two, especially in college, and that he’s played the field a little bit. but i don’t see him as the guy that has had sex with every person in his major. he’s a genuine guy and can’t have sex with someone he’s not emotionally invested in -- despite not being a ‘player’, he’s totally gotten in trouble with a few people because they think he’s leading them on when he walks with them to class everyday. 

intimidating: people always characterize him as this mysterious, sexually intimidating guy, but i just can’t see him as someone intimidating. if anything, he may be a little unapproachable because he has a really tight knit group of friends that he’s always with, but he’s not scary. he’s not the center of attention but he’s not a wallflower either, he enjoys observing people and watching drama play out, but he’s not silent and glaring all the time. he’s quite fun, he’s loud, and he enjoys embarrassing his friends in public. he’s the type to twerk in public and laugh his ass off when akaashi or kenma give him the side-eye and bro-kuto joins in. he likes to have fun, ya know? i don’t know about you, but a guy that twerks in public isn’t very scary, to me at least. 

prideful: I understand why people paint him as a prideful guy, he obviously likes what he does and has a personable personality, but honestly, he’s not perfect. he often has moments where he doubts himself because of his past decisions, his career one of them. kuroo is an amazing middle blocker, and his choice to go into sports advertisement rather than an actual volleyball league no doubt haunts him at night sometimes. he thinks of the ‘what-ifs’, and he dreams of what he could be. especially since his best friend is bokuto, a professional player, it’s often on his mind. it’s a super touchy subject for him, and if someone were to question his job-choice i have no doubt that he’d get really sour and distant from that person because he’s not sure of himself either. 

frat boy: he’s not someone who can’t cook, he’s not someone who sleeps at 5am everyday, hungover. he’s not the type of person to be immature in any way -- he’s got his shit together. i’m sure most people can actually see this, but kuroo is very responsible and realistic (which is part of the reason he didn’t do professional volleyball). he does his taxes, does his homework, gives out good advice, gets up early and eats everything that a healthy person should eat (in all the right proportions, too). he doesn’t even drink often, if anything he’s just a social drinker. he goes to bed at 10pm and wakes up at 6am to work out, no joke. he’s gotta keep that physique somehow. 

decisive: i know i said he’s responsible, but i don’t think that translates to decisive. i can see him having a lot of conflicting things going on in his life, different wants and different paths that he wants to take but can’t keep all open. it happens in love, his career, his college major, etc. he wants a lot in life, he wants success, happiness, a good love-life, everything. when he had to choose between volleyball and a life-long, stable career, he was broken for weeks. was he good enough for his dream? was it wise to chase his dream? would it be better to get more kids into volleyball, do what he did, what he couldn’t do? in his love life he always hesitates, too: does he see a life with them? how long will they love him? will they be able to deal with him once they see that he’s not perfect? is it worth it? it doesn’t matter if he’s in love or not, because his extreme caution can come off as very distant and unwilling to let you in, hence his toxic trait. he’s indecisive, scared, yet passionate and hard-working. 

overall, kuroo is full of contradiction. he wants a lot from life and is willing to work for it. he has dreams and tries to stay healthy and put himself out there, have fun, the whole shabang -- but he’s not perfect. he’s overly cautious when it comes to making important decisions simply because he can see a future with all of the different paths he can take. but honestly, isn’t everyone a little contradictory? 

[sleepysloth99]

A/N: Heyo everyone uhh basically my mental state got me fucked up so why don't we make headcanons for numerous Sweet Home characters. 2 parts. Part 1 is a simple them comforting you during an anxiety attack and part 2 is them reacting to you telling them that you're a burnout gifted kid (yes OP needs some fucking help😂).

Characters: Hyuk, Netflix Wook, Hyun, Jisu, Yuri

I suppose content warning? Anxiety is mentioned after all.

Part 1: Them comforting you during an anxiety attack.

Hyuk:

•Guy is clueless as fuck lol.

•He'd try to make things better but he actually kinda made it worse.

•He feels terrible since he feels so useless in this situation. He's not exactly great with people.

•Eventually he gathers himself and gives you a blanket and makes tea.

•Puts on your favorite anime or show in general.

•He apologizes for being so crappy with all this.

•You have a favorite stuffed toy? He'll get it for you.

•Lots of cuddles. If you want he can play a video game and you can watch him.

•He's trying his best :)

•This is only the first time though.

•Around the third to fourth time this happens he'll actually know what he's doing.

•Ask what's wrong and won't panic. He'd be a lot more calm and would definitely be less hesitant to hold you.

•Again just bear with him.

Netflix Wook

•Thought Hyuk was bad? Wook's even worse.

•He doesn't know what to say so he just pats your shoulder.

•Lots of headpats.

•Right after you calm down he searches up about anxiety attacks and what to do if someone is having one.

•He'll also search up what to say to a partner during an anxiety attack.

•The only reason he kept his mouth shut the first time was because he was scared he'd upset you more.

•Want him to cuddle you and hush you? He'll do just that.

•Want him to hold him because you find holding things more comforting then being held? He's already laying down.

•Whatever makes you calm down he will do just that.

•He also buys snacks for you.

•Overall one of those "Quiet Supporter" types. He doesn't really say anything because mind you he isn't exactly great with his words so using gifts and physical affection he will try to calm you down.

•One muscular teddy bear lmao.

Jisu

•Unlike Hyuk and Wook, Jisu is a lot better at handling emotions for the most part.

•She'll immediately ask what's wrong and hold you.

•She'll just listen, and give her input when she feels the time is appropriate.

•She'll order out food and watch a show with you.

•Hell for you? She'd illegally stream a movie lmao.

•Lots of soft blankets.

•If you want, she can sing for you or play the guitar.

•She keeps her composure despite secretly being freaked out since she's never dealt with someone having an anxiety attack.

•She has a bat so if you wanna go out and smash shit up she'll come with you.

•Wanna scream all your worries? She already has her bass set up.

•She'd paint your nails if you want.

•She'll let you lay in her lap (Imagine laying in Jisu's lap☺️)

•Gives headpats.

•Gives scalp massages.

•Just like Wook, provides snacks.

•Would go all the way and buy a fucking pet for you.

Yuri

•See what's so special about Yuri is that she's worked as a caregiver for years, albeit with elders.

•So believe me she's seen a LOT.

•What I'm trying to say is out of everyone here, she's the best when treating you during an anxiety attack.

•She asks what's wrong.

•She never yells by any means.

•She kinda whispers but not really.

•Very calming, uses lots of lavender and chamomile based products.

•Already making some tea (or some drink you like).

•She'll run a shower for you.

•She uses aromatherapy based products in said shower.

•She would run a bath for you but that wastes water and she doesn't want you to sit in your own filth.

•Uses aromatherapy lotion on you.

•She will do some skincare for you.

•Spoils you with cuddles and snacks.

•Tries to ask further questions like "How long have you felt like this? Is there any other problems?"

•She won't push you though.

•Sleeping on her lap with fluffy blankets and forehead kisses. (Bro imagine sleeping on the goddess's lap???😳😳😳)

•Surprisingly very sweet.

Hyun

•Bro not gonna lie he really wouldn't know what to do.

•He's broken as is so if he says anything that comes off as insensitive he doesn't mean it, he's trying his best.

•Another Quiet Supporter.

•Will give you a hug.

•Will let you sleep on him.

•He might start crying too. He feels so powerless in such a situation. Seeing his significant other panicking and not knowing what to do or say.

•He'll try and ask what's wrong but being in a similar position, he knows how annoying it can be when someone asks what's wrong.

•He's distant but close at the same time if that makes any sense.

•He'll read a book to you if you want.

•He'll try and whisper sweet nothings but again this is pretty foreign for him

•He'll get take-out for you and put on some anime.

•He'll even watch an anime he really hates as long as it makes you feel better.

•By the next day he'll pretend nothing happened but just expect a stuffed animal packaged up at your door. Who sent it? I dunno. (Not him that's for sure nope nope totally not him.)

Them reacting to you saying you're a burnout gifted kid.

Hyuk

•He kinda relates.

•He will always be there to let you know you're doing great.

•He will always be there to support.

•When he sees your homework scores lowering and grades crashing he'll be there to help you somehow.

•He actually does your homework while you sleep. By the time you wake up you have no clue because he made copies of it but he actually used your account to submit the work. Man the shit he does for you.

•One of the school staff actually almost caught him saying "You're not acting like your usual self. You never get such good score in math."

•Thankfully he looked at how you talk online especially to teachers and managed to kinda copy how you talk online.

•He still thinks you should talk to someone about this. You know someone professional.

•Again though he'll always be there for you.

Wook

•He wouldn't know what to tell you.

•"Yeah... that does suck."

•He'll support you and try to get you mental help for it but... yeah.

•He can't really relate to the whole burnout thing so he's very distant here.

•Course that doesn't mean he won't try and help you.

•Again he wants you to get mental help especially since he isn't the best with words.

•Really he's clueless. He'll try his best but honestly even Wook thinks he's the worst person for this.

Jisu

•She also can't really relate since she was always just the band kid scraping by back in school.

•She's still very empathetic.

•She'll try her absolute best to help you with the long term damage that is gifted child burnout.

•She will make sure you don't go abusing substances. So no you cannot have any of her cigarettes. She will literally throw them all away.

•She'll write songs to motivate you.

•She'll make sure you never give up on something just because you didn't get it right the first time.

•Seriously this woman loves you, she'll do anything to motivate you and make you happy.

Yuri

•Now Yuri can semi-relate. Being trained to take care of the elderly did do a number on her so she knows burnout when she sees it.

•She will literally smack your hand if you try and overwork yourself.

•"Don't. I'll do it."

•She really wants to do everything for you because she hates seeing you all burnt out.

•She's stubborn as hell so it's gonna take a lot to convince her to let you actually do your work.

•Seriously somebody come get her she's starting to burnout herself.

Hyun

•Lmao Hyun can relate 100%

•He IS a burnout gifted kid.

•So yeah he is actually the worst person to go to for this issue since he's having the same problem.

•However! That doesn't make him all bad.

•You can be burnout gifted kids together!

•Whether it's cuddling while comparing your current selves to your past selves or playing video games together to feel a false sense of achievement, you guys are doing this together.

•Is it the best and most healthy way to deal with this problem? No!

•Is it still a pretty great thing to have your boyfriend by your side and sharing all of your pain every step of the way? Hell yeah!

•In all seriousness, you two try to support each other.

•Lean on each other when the burnout gets unbearable. He'll offer a shoulder to cry on and you'll reciprocate (at least I hope you do.)

•You both try to get mental help or at the very least join one of those support servers on Discord.

•You guys often lie in bed late at night talking about how you both feel like failures. To which Hyun says "We can be failures together." In an attempt to make you feel better.

•It actually... kinda helped.

°

°

°

And with that being said, today's headcanons are done! If you want you can drop some requests, although I don't do any NSFW requests. But yeah that's it. I'm pooped, bye!💝

[leeknowsredeyeliner]

break up - choi hyunsuk

hyunsuk x fem reader x yoshi (?)

summary: you finally confront your boyfriend and get everything off your chest. how does it result into a break up?

genre: college au, break up au

word count: 3.8k+

warning: minor cussing, mention of anxiety, minor anxiety attack (passing out), mention of anxiety pills/meds, break up

note: the first sad fanfic i’ve ever written so i hope you enjoy :)

You're trembling at the sight of the audience from backstage, basically the entire university is present. Having anxiety and dreaming of becoming a performer is obviously not the best combination, you always need to have your pills ready in case of an emergency. You're completely used to performing in front of your classmates and a large crowd but they opened the theater until every seat was filled, you can barely see the people in the back.

The only thing that keeps you going is your best friend, he's always front seat at your recitals and other performances. Even when Yoshi's not physically there to cheer you on, you know he's watching from a FaceTime call with your moms. You've been best friends since freshman orientation, you've even thought you would end up together but there was someone else that caught your eye -- your current boyfriend, Hyunsuk.

Most people suspect that Yoshi's your boyfriend because he's always seen around you, but you don't blame them, it logically makes sense. Even you sometimes feel like Yoshi treats you as more than just a best friend. Hyunsuk tends to be busy on weekends which is totally understandable, you just wish he'd make the time and effort to see you perform just once. He's never been to any of your performances or recitals, you wouldn't be surprised if he was unaware of them. Your moms are concerned for your relationship but you repeatedly remind them it's no big deal to you and he's just a busy guy.

"30 seconds," one of the backstage staff whispers passing by you. You mentally prepare yourself for your last performance of the year. 'I can do this.' Is all you repeat in your mind. The only way you can survive is by searching for your silver haired best friend in the audience and he'll give you all the encouragement you need.

"You’re up," the same person from earlier whispers from beside you. You take a deep breath in and out to slightly calm down the rollercoaster of nervousness mixed with puke in your stomach. You make your way on the stage and before the song starts, you don't hesitate to distinctively skim the first row. Your eyes stop near the middle as you see Yoshi with a big smile on his face. He gives you his iconic thumbs up of motivation and the song starts.

You sing your heart out to the audience but caught yourself looking at Yoshi a bit too often. Then again, he's the only one out there that came for you. Not even your moms could make it because of how close the performance is to the holidays.

[7:09pm]

You gather your belongings from the dressing room and speed walk out of the hall. Opening the door to the main hallway, Yoshi is leaning against the wall holding a box of chocolates. You run up to him as his arms open wide, ready for you to tackle him. Your bodies clash together, pulling him into a tight hug. His head nestles into your neck as he mumbles, "You killed it as always, (Y/n)."

"Only because of you. You know I can't do anything without you around," you giggle. You both pull away from the hug then he takes your bag away from you, slinging it over his shoulder.

"What? Am I like your lucky charm?" He jokes and you both laugh but in the back of your mind you take it seriously, he technically is. Whenever he's watching over the phone, you make the slightest mistakes and just pray the audience doesn't notice. His live presence is much more comforting to you. "These are for you. I know you hate flowers because you consider them a waste of space in your apartment." He hands you the box of chocolates -- your favorite box of chocolates.

"Thank you. I'll finish these tonight. Do you wanna go for some cheesecake?" Yoshi and you celebrate after every performance with food or if he's feeling generous, he takes you out to go shopping.

"Ooh, I can't. I'm going out with Asahi and Jihoon. I'll make it up to you tomorrow though."

"There's no need to make up for it, the chocolate's enough." The two of you don't always need to celebrate with food afterwards. Maybe going back to the apartment and spending the rest of the night with Hyunsuk will be better anyway.

"You don't need a ride home?" He asks as you make your way outside of the building.

"It's across the street, I can walk." Perks of living close to the university means saving cash for food.

"Alright, you be safe. And don't forget to take your anxiety meds once he get home," he orders, throwing your bag at you. You say your goodbyes then part ways.

[7:32pm]

You unlock the door to your apartment and while taking your shoes off, you see Hyunsuk's daily pair. It seems like he casually threw them onto the floor with no care in the world. You neatly place them in an available cubby and put your shoes away in their rightful spot.

You walk into your room to see Hyunsuk passed out across the bed. You clean out your bag, putting your belongings away where they belong. While getting dressed into your house clothes, you hear movement from outside the bathroom. Walking out of the bathroom, you throw your hair up into a ponytail.

"When did you get here?" Hyunsuk asks as you join him in the kitchen.

"Around 10 minutes ago? How long have you been home for?"

"I came here straight after school. Where were you?" He casually responds, grabbing a popsicle from the freezer. "Out with Yoshi again?" He asks with a hint of annoyance in his voice, but maybe you're just annoyed with the words that came out his mouth. It's obvious he doesn't listen to a word you say. He really had no idea about your performance? Also, what's the reason for bringing up Yoshi in that way?

"I had my monthly performance," you bluntly say. If he really had no clue, there's no way you'd be able to tolerate his ignorance. The list of things he does that piss you off keeps growing longer and longer.

"Since when do you have monthly performances?" Your eyes follow his body moving from the kitchen to the couch. The TV flickers on and you notice his interest beginning to fade away like in any conversation you've had in the past.

"Can you please turn the TV off when we're talking?" You order him like you're his mother. Does he have even the slightest drop of respect? He treats you like his sidepiece, like you're there to entertainment him whenever he feels like it.

"Don't worry, I'm still listening," he responds with his eyes glued to the TV. His eyes haven't met yours since you've arrived.

Hyunsuk is your first boyfriend. You were never the type to date before college because the only thing occupying your mind was school. Although you started off clueless in relationships, after being with Hyunsuk for a year, you eventually learned the attributes to a toxic relationship and how certain behaviors are formed.

In the beginning, it was never like this, Hyunsuk did anything and everything just to gain your attention for more than 20 seconds, trying to win you over every day. You loved playing hard to get with him, testing his limits. One day, you gave in to him and his constant courting. The two of you became the happy couple everyone aspires to be.

"But I don't want coffee today!" You whine and jump a bit in place to show how desperate you are. "Ice cream please."

"Fine, only because I love you." The word 'no' doesn't exist in his vocabulary, at least when it comes to you. He feels bad when he sees how disappointed you get when things don't go the way you want. You and Yoshi walk through the campus on your way to the ice cream parlor nearby.

Acting like a child is a natural instinct to you. You're the youngest in the family so you were babied the most and those behaviors never faded away. You enjoy your foot to stay in the squares, never touching the lines as you walk along the sidewalks. Yoshi found your actions interesting and would sometimes copy you when he felt like it, other times he'd watch you from behind as your pace quickens.

"Do it with me," you say. It was supposed to come out as an order but the baby side of you stopped yourself. You take Yoshi's hand in yours to line him up to your speed. As you hop over each line, Yoshi walks beside you looking like a loser. "You're so lame. You owe me two ice-"

"Hey, (Y/n)!" Hyunsuk chirps from beside you, cutting you off. Hyunsuk's been convincing you to let him take you on a date for too long. Every day it's the same thing, 'How does this weekend sound?' 'Just one date.' It's not that you didn't want to go out with him, you'd actually enjoy it very much. You just want to test his patience, see how long he can last, and to what extent he'll go to.

You let go of Yoshi's hand and bring your hands to the straps of your backpack. "Uh, hi?" You act totally uninterested. You like to see him stutter and think of ways for you to say more than four words at a time.

"Did you tell Yoshi you want two ice creams? I can buy you two ice cream cones, if that's what you want." If someone is willing to buy you more than one of any kind of food, you're not passing up on that opportunity. Hyunsuk willing to pay for the food just to win you over is quite worrisome though, it's a sign of easy manipulation.

"I guess," you keep your response short.

"It's okay, dude. I can buy for (Y/n)." Yoshi says from the other side of you. He may have not gotten the message that this was a test for Hyunsuk.

"I just got paid, paying for her ice cream won't hurt," Hyunsuk throws a sassy smile at Yoshi. Hyunsuk runs in front of you to get to the ice cream parlor before you and Yoshi.

"You really got him using his money for you, huh?"

"Yup! You know, he seems to like me a lot," you state the obvious.

"Really? Hm, I don't know. To me, it seems like he doesn't even want to be around you," he sarcastically says.

"I kind of like him now," you blurt out.

"A Hyunsuk confession to me? That's a shocker." He's known about who you felt about Hyunsuk for a few days now. He was neither happy nor upset about the news, he must've seen it coming. "What? Are you finally going to answer him today?" He laughs with no idea that you've already created a plan before today.

"Um, yeah." Yoshi stops in his track but you continue to walk, not caring if he gets left behind or not. "Can you walk? I have ice cream waiting for me."

"You're going to tell him? Today?" He sounds absolutely shocked. It's hard to tell whether it's because he's afraid you'd abandon him or maybe he'll feel bad if things don't work the way you'd want.

"Is that not what I just said?" You walk back over to him and wrap your arms together. "Now, let's go."

The two of you walk over to the ice cream parlor and Hyunsuk's already waiting at a table with your two ice cream cones in hand. Yoshi orders his ice cream while you sit with Hyunsuk. "Thanks," you say as he hands you both cones.

"Yeah, no problem. I remember you always had strawberry ice cream at uni so that's what I got you," he flashes a cute smile.

"Do you not have some for yourself?" You ask and he shakes his head. A frown forms on your face, it's unfair that he's bought you dessert but left himself empty-handed. You extend your arm out and force him to take your extra ice cream cone.

"Are you free this Saturday night?" You blurt our before taking a lick of your ice cream.

Hyunsuk's taken by surprise, you're never the one to initiate any conversation that demonstrates interest but you had a sudden burst of boldness. His eyes widen and he begins to stutter, "Oh. I- Well- It's a weekend- Uh-"

You cut him off, his stuttering's cute but you want a straight up answer, "If you're not free, just tell me. We can figure out another day."

"Thursday night?"

"It's a date."

The date is what initiated your relationship, it was a new beginning as a couple and for you as an individual. By the end of the date, Hyunsuk's impatient self had asked you to be his girlfriend and you proudly said yes.

You can't put your finger exactly on when your relationship went downhill, all you know is leading up to your one year anniversary, things changed.

Hyunsuk started off sweet, caring, a whore for your attention but turned into an unsupportive and distant boyfriend. He never takes you out on random dates, walks with you to school in the morning, and most importantly, you don't sleep in the same bed anymore and if you were, there'd be a line of pillows separating you. You're the only person putting in the effort nowadays and it's tiring.

You snatch the remote from beside him and turn off the TV. "What the hell? Give me back the remote!" He slightly raises his voice but it doesn't bother you. He's done it way too many times for it to have any sort of effect you.

"Oh? You want the remote back? Here, take it." You rip the batteries out from the back and slip them into your back pocket. Mercilessly, the remote is thrown onto the couch next to him.

"What the fuck was that for?" He yells yet again. His eyes meet yours for the first time, his eyebrows furrowed and face burning red.

"I can't take this anymore! I've been taking your shit for way too long. What happened to you the past few months, huh? You are a whole 'nother person. You're not the Hyunsuk I met in literature class my freshman year," I scoff. "The old you would do anything to see me, spend time with me. Please, just tel-"

"What do you expect? People change, (Y/n)! Do you want me to stay the same for the rest of my life?" He has a point, people change but never to the extent where they begin to lose interest in their girlfriend's life.

"I expect you to act like my boyfriend! You're never there for me. I'm always at your dance recitals and soccer games but never have you been to one of mine." Your vision becomes blurry because of your teary eyes. "I- I'm so fucking tired. Tired of- of having to look in the crowd and not see my boyfriend's face. Do you know how helpless I feel up on stage? You're supposed to be my number one supporter."

"You have never mentioned your performances before. How was I supposed to know?" This is his excuse? That's the fattest lie ever made on the planet.

"What do you mean?" You raise your voice. Your voice is very unstable and so is your mind, you could break at any second. "I've been bringing it up even before we started dating. I'd tell you every month, 'I have a performance next week. Do you want me to buy you a ticket?' You always have an excuse, it always has to do with work or going out with your friends. Do you just not have time for your girlfriend?"

"No! I don't! I have a social life and I need to pay the bills. All you do is go out with that stupid Yoshi boy!" He had absolutely no business bringing him into this. Is he using Yoshi as an excuse to ignore his own girlfriend?

"Pay the bills?" You quietly say to yourself before repeating it as loud as possible, "Pay the fucking bills? Your money goes straight to drinking with your friends. I am the only one paying the bills here. Me!" His head lowers down from embarrassment because he knows he's wrong. Yes, he makes money, but where does it all go? To food and drinks with his friends the night after earning it. It's a complete waste of money and a complete waste of your time. Because of how much money he spends, you end up working night and morning shifts to earn the money that he's responsible for paying off.

"And what the hell does Yoshi have to do with this? The only reason why the two of us are together so much is because he actually makes the effort to support me. He's my best friend and you're supposed to be my boyfriend. Instead of being a jealous brat, bringing up his name in an argument that has nothing to do with him, why don't you try to act your part?" You say all in one breath.

Just then, you break down into tears. You were holding it all in for too long that the pain and frustration hit you all at once, bringing you down into a ball of tears. Your breathing was obviously uneven as you were crying but it soon became hard to breathe. Hyunsuk stayed quiet the whole time, not knowing what to say or do. Was he supposed to comfort you or let you cry on the floor by yourself? After listening to your constant hiccuping and sobs continuing for god knows how long, he kneels in front of you.

Your cries were longer than usual and from the sound of his voice, he was concerned. "(Y/n)? Di- Did you take your pills when you got home?" You shake your head in response. This is why Yoshi is always there to remind you to take your pills, he knows you tend to forget at night.

"Okay." Hyunsuk disregards everything that's been said the past few minutes to focus on you and your health, "We're going to stand up and get you to the bed." He holds you up from your armpits, lifting you up from the floor. Once all of your weight is on your feet, nothing.

You see absolutely nothing. Pitch black.

[9:12pm]

You open your eyes to face the ceiling and stretch your arms and legs. "You're awake," a voice from beside you says.

"Yo- Yoshi. What are you doing here? What time is it? Where's Hyunsuk?" The questions flood out as you have a hard time remembering what happened to you.

"A lot of questions, huh? It's a bit past 9. Hyunsuk called me and told me about the fight you had and how you passed out. He didn't know how to handle you so he asked me to come over and help. He also didn't know how you'd feel if he was the first person you saw," he lets out a soft giggle at the end.

You forgot about your fight with Hyunsuk. Everything's coming back to you: The annoyance, the slight confusion of his words. You know if he were to walk through the door right now, you wouldn't hesitate to pounce him.

"You forgot to take your medicine when you got home, didn't you?" He breaks your train of thought. He knows you so well.

"Ho- How did you know?"

"Who's the one to call you at 7:40 every night to remind you?" He asks pulling out your phone to show you a missed call from him at exactly 7:40pm. Sometimes, you learn new things about yourself, like how high maintenance you are to the point where you need another person to remind you of what to do every single day.

"I didn't have to take my meds. I just shouldn't have went off on Hyunsuk, then this would've never happened."

Yoshi sighs and gently pats your head, "We both know it was bound to happen. There just needed to be something to trigger it." Again, he knows you so well, a bit too well.

"Can you bring him here? I want to finish my conversation from earlier." Maybe you won't pounce him, you have absolutely no energy for that. But you do need this weight to be lifted off of your shoulders.

"Only if you promise to not attack him or yell at him," he holds out his pinky. You connect your pinkies and do your quick handshake.

"Promise."

Yoshi leaves the room and shortly after, Hyunsuk walks through the door sending you a soft smile. You pat the spot next to you on the bed and he respectfully and quietly sits, waiting for you to say something.

"I think it's time," you softly say. You avoid eye contact with Hyunsuk because you knew if you were to look into his eyes, all it'd reflect is pain. Even though he wasn't the perfect boyfriend, maybe didn't even act like your boyfriend at all, he loves you and no matter how he acts, you both knew that. You never stopped loving him despite how many times he angered and tested you.

"Can we please try again? I swear I'll be the perfect boyfriend to you, (Y/n). I- I was thinking while you were asleep, looking back at the past few months. You put up with so much shit that you shouldn't have had to go through and I'm truly sorry. I want to make it up to you by making things right," he says with hope in his voice. "Please, (Y/n)." You look up at him, he genuinely is sorry. The regret and pain in his teary eyes are strong, no one could see past it.

You take a deep breath to quickly recollect your thoughts, "I'm sorry, Hyunsuk. I'm not happy in this relationship anymore. This could be the time to better ourselves." You keep it short, not wanting to hurt his feelings even more.

"I- I don't get a second chance?" A tear rolls down his face.

"I've given you more than just a second chance these past few months. Maybe in the future we'll have a chance to try again together." You still love Hyunsuk. There's no such thing as a perfect relationship, there's bound to be mistakes and obstacles in the way to drive you apart. If the two of you are truly meant to be then you'll meet again.

"Maybe," he softly says. "Or maybe it's Yoshi that should be given a chance."

[justanotherlifeff]

Chapter 2

8 April 2316

Monday

Musutafu, Japan

You entered the classroom to find a certain tall black haired boy drilling an ash blonde for putting his feet on the desk. You personally never cared much about rules nor did you feel like poking a nose into people’s business was something that anyone should do, unlike Tenya Iida ofcourse. You knew that he would be aiming for the hero course in UA and to be fair, you certainly hoped to see him here again given that your only form of entertainment at Soumei was pissing him off. Yes, Iida was class president back in Soumei and let’s just say, you didn’t see eye to eye. Although you never full on bullied him like Ash blonde here. Infact, while you enjoyed pissing him off, you considered him as a friend even if being in the same class as him was sometimes a pain in the ass. “Remove your foot from that desk! Such an action is insulting to those who came to UA before us as well as the craftsmen who made the desk.” Iida argued. “Like I care. What middle school are you from, you extra?” Bakugou asked him in a rude tone. That’s when you noticed another student with mossy green hair had got in. He was staring at the bickering pair with a defeated look. “My name is Tenya Iida. I’m from Soumei private Academy.” Iida answered with pride. Ofcourse… Typical Iida… He just can’t see the insult that would come with that… “Soumei? A stuck up enlist then? I should blow you to bits.” Bakugou crackled. Even though you were enjoying the bickering, you decided that you should save your clueless classmate. “Sorry about him. He just cares about rules too much. He’s been on my back about how I wear my uniform for years.” you smiled apologetically at Bakugou as Iida tried to blow away whatever damage control you did by saying, “You’re awful! Do you even wish to become a hero? And (L/N)-kun, your shoes are absolutely inappropriate for school! Why would you wear sneakers to school?”. That’s what you get for trying to save him from blondie. “Iida-kun, give up already.” you told him with a teasing smile before he noticed the green haired boy and ran towards him.

Bakugou glared at the green haired kid for a while before looking back at you and asking, “Are you from Soumei too, extra?” with a frown. “You know, after standing up for you, I expected you to not call me an ‘extra’. You wound me mister!” you told him with, acting dramatically as if his words hurted you. “Oh I know you. You’re the villain kid. And you’re gonna teach me how to behave?” Bakugou sneered. That hit a nerve and all the light bulbs in the class shattered, making Bakugou startled for only a moment. You got yourself in control within moments and smiled at him before saying, “Sorry about that, my quirk's kinda annoying. By the way, come on dude! Lighten up! I know you didn’t mean any harm but that kinda hurted you know. I don’t want any trouble. Let’s get along okay?”. The boy tched in reply. That’s when Aizawa got into the dark classroom. “ (L/N), you can’t keep breaking the lights. Go to the Principal’s office and fill out a form for new lights. We will cut that from your part time job, again.” Aizawa told you firmly. “Yes sensei” you answered with a sigh before heading to the principal’s office.

When you came back, you found the other blonde kid from class waiting for you in an empty class. “(L/N)-kun, everyone’s gone to the grounds for a quirk test. Aizawa sensei asked me to wait for you to give you your uniform.” he told you with a confident smile. “Thank you! What’s your name?” I asked him with a smile. “I’m Kaminari Denki. But, you can call me Shrek, because I'm head ogre heels in love with you.” he answered with a flirty smile, winking at you. “Aside from scaring women away with shitty pickup lines, what do you do for a living?.” I chuckled at him. He dramatically put a hand on his chest before saying, "You wound me, (L/N)-chan. Besides, didn't you just improvise a pick-up line there?" as we headed towards the changing rooms. He had his uniform in his hands too. “Totally did my friend! While I can assure you that you're not my type, I can see that you're a man of culture and I henceforth declare you as my friend. Thanks for waiting!” I joked, pretending that my hand is a sword as I acted as if I just knighted him, making him laugh. "Well, atleast I scored a hot friend!" Denki shouted towards you as you got into the girl’s changing room.

“(L/N)-kun! How did you explode those bulbs?” a shorter brown haired girl approached you, her eyes sparkling in interest. “Yes, your quirk must be very powerful.” a tall black haired girl approached you as well. “I’m Yaoyorozu Momo. Nice to meet you” she bowed slightly with a smile on her face. “Oh right, sorry, I’m Uraraka Ochako. Nice to meet you!” the first girl remembered that she didn’t tell you her name. “It’s alright. I’m (L/N) (F/N). My quirk includes telekinesis. But, unlike the typical telekinesis, mine is in the molecular level. So, when I get any sudden emotion within me, my telekinesis activates and removes molecules from the most breakable things around. Glass molecules come apart more easily which is why they break. I don’t exactly explode them.” you explained my power to them. “I see. That’s impressive. I’m Ashido Mina! You should change quickly. We’ll wait for you.” a pink girl told you with a smile. “Thanks guys!” you answered before starting to change into the training uniform.

When you all arrived at the grounds, the boys were already there with Aizawa. You stood there with the girls as Aizawa explained how things in UA works. Denki saw you out there and approached you immediately. "Now that we are friends, would you introduce me to your hot female friends?" he whispered to you as if he was plotting something devious. "Oh no. I thought you liked me! Such betrayal!" you acted as if you were offended before laughing at your own antics with your new friend. "Well, come on then, let's get you introduced to the hot girls" you laughed as you introduced him to the group of women. While everyone else was pretty much freaked out by his downright flirting, Mina joined you into teasing him about it. After getting a scolding from Aizawa to shut everyone up, you watched upon with interest as he asked Bakugou, to pitch a ball. He used an explosion from his hand to throw the ball 705.2m away while shouting… “Die”? "He is one weird guy" you couldn't help but think. After that Aizawa went ahead to explain that anyone who scores the least would be expelled. He did expel people on their first day before so you hoped that your classmates would take him seriously. He then proceeded to explain why 21 students were admitted in Class 1A instead of 20, (apparantly the two lowest scorers got the same score in the entrance exam).

The event started with a 50 meter dash. You completed it in 1.23 second as you just opened a portal and crossed the finish line taking the highest score in class. Your middle school record was 7.58 seconds. Your strength test machine broke when you used telekinesis. Again, highest score in class. You used telekinesis to levitate during long jump, scoring highest again. You scored lowest in the repeated side step as there was no way to use your powers here. In the ball throw test, you opened a portal to the moon since you decided to learn the coordinates to a certain place in the moon knowing that doing something as flamboyant as this would certainly gain you a reputation and threw the ball in there. When the display read 384400 km, everyone was surprised. You could see the visible anger in Bakugou’s face as you beat him in almost all the tests. However, you weren’t the highest scorer in this one. Uraraka scored Infinity thanks to her quirk.

You were surprised when Aizawa didn’t expel anyone. Specially given that Mirodiya, as much as you found him extremely sweet, literally broke his finger when he tried to use his powers. You were the top scorer, which wasn’t much of a surprise. However, you discovered something during the test. Bakugou seems to hate Midoriya with a burning passion. While you figured out that Bakugou is pretty much an asshole, you sensed an enormous amount of inferiority complex within him. "He has a powerful quirk, more powerful than Midoriya but then, why did he feel like he was inferior to Midoriya?" was a thought that ran through your head. You honestly wouldn’t be bothered by complex people like them usually since you preferred to keep your life simple and fun, however, Bakugou was too explosive to ignore. He ranted on how Midoriya was quirkless before the ball throwing test. It seemed that they had a history and the way Bakugo acted made you interested in knowing. After all, it doesn’t hurt to know more about your classmates, right?

When class was over, you was headed to the teacher’s quarters. However, I was stopped by Denki and a red haired kid. “(L/N)-chan!” Denki shouted as he called you. You waited for him to catch up. “(L/N)-chan, are you busy now?” he asked. “No, not really. Why?” you asked him, confused. “We were going to try out the new cafe that opened nearby. You can stick along with us if you want to. I’m Kirishima Ejiro by the way. I heard you're already friends with Kaminari so I figured that we should go together?” the red haired boy explained. “Oh sure. Why not? I don't have much to do till my shift at the gym and that's not anytime soon.” you answered. “Damn, a working woman.. Now that's cool..” Denki praised in a flirtatious tone. “Yeah working is pretty manly!” Kirishima agreed enthusiastically. “I honestly would rather just stay at home and read a manga. I'm only working cause I gotta pay for all the damage I do to school property.” I sighed only to get reassuring looks from the two boys. "Aww get a sugar daddy, (Y/N)! I've been looking for a sugar mommy my entire life but I'm cursed with sheer good looks" Denki flicked his hair sarcastically. "Oh shut up you moron!" you answered rolling your eyes and flicking his forehead with a small pebble using your telekinesis, making Kirishima laugh at your antics as the three of you went for the cafe. And this is how, the infamous 'Bakusquad' unofficially started.

[gothytrash]

rules: tag people you want to get to know better!!!

tagged by: @transseven (kinda im just bored and wanna do it)

your name and what you would’ve named yourself: finn...and i named myself that:))) i considered kalen and max also but finn felt right. might fuck around n change it again tbh

astrological sign (sun/moon/rising if you know them): virgo sun/libra moon/aries rising

when did you join tumblr and why: 2012 maybe?? i was a ~hipster aesthetic blog~ until i became the mess i am today

top 5 fandoms: i dont consider myself really IN any fandoms but,,,mortal kombat, overwatch, polygon, animal crossing, and unus annus are things im really into rn!!

top 5 films: i really dont watch movies much um....jawbreaker, my neighbor totoro, howl's moving castle, spirited away, clueless, pretty much anything ghibli or disgustingly 90's

go-to song when you want to feel something: i have a playlist that is all megan thee stallion for when im extra mentally ill and need to feel like a bad bitch again

what’s your religion or faith if you have one: i don't feel strongly about any really?? i used to relate to wicca when i was younger until i realized a lot of it is stolen closed practices and cultural appropriation and it just didnt feel...right i guess?? im actually a very spiritual person in private though u might not guess it from the everything about me!! im just still not sure if there is a religion i would feel totally comfortable in, although buddhism has always intrigued me!!

a song that makes you feel seen: dog teeth by nicole dollanganger ... teen idle by marina ... vienna by billy joel ...

if you could have any career: i'd love to perform, idk what but i just wanna create for people!!! even as a youtuber, a streamer, or more original performing like in a band or doing drag i just..love to be seen and make people happy:)))

do you have a type: um not really??? hot alt queers to the front of course, and i prefer someone else to be able to take the lead in most things, but that rarely factors into my attraction. if u cute u cute and i will kiss u

what does my heart/soul yearn for: to feel cared for:))) to be a first choice:))) independence:)))

if you had to describe yourself in 5 words to someone: blunt, compassionate, easygoing, impulsive, ditzy

favorite subjects in school: music, english, and forensics

where does your soul feel the most at home: anywhere there is fresh air and some peace and quiet

top 5 fictional characters: mileena, yuri, dva, kuromi, howl

top 3 moments in a show that made you ugly cry: FUCK um. many moments in the promised neverland i cant even pick one so just the show as a whole....the abortion scene in sex education......and also all of your lie in april just so much of it

earth, the sun, the moon or the stars: the stars

favorite kind of weather: that time in either fall or spring when its perfect sweater weather, the sun is shining but the breeze is cool enough that u don't sweat at all, and it stays that way until the sun goes down:') and everything smells so nice....it's different for spring and fall but they both smell lovely

top 3 kins: mileena, yuri, and kuromi

favorite medium of art: to do? graphite or digital bc im bad and must erase a lot! to enjoy? all of it literally all art makes my heart go whoosh

introvert/extrovert/ambivert: ambivert

favorite literary quote: i had to search so hard for this bc i couldnt remember it all but my fave book in my early teens was across the universe by beth revis and i always really liked this quote idk why: " I stare at the stars... And even though there are so many and they look so close together, I know they are light years apart. The glitter in the sky looks as if I could scoop it all up in my hands and let the stars swirl and touch one another, but they are so distant, so very far apart, that they cannot feel the warmth of each other, even though they are made of burning. This is the secret of the stars, I tell myself. In the end, we are alone. No matter how close you seem, no one else can touch you."

some of your favorite books: i dont read as much as i used to so most of the books i loved are young adult books but: the crank series by ellen hopkins, the painter from shanghai by jennifer cody epstein, every day by david levithan, i am the messenger by marcus zusak

if you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?: i want to travel as much as possible, but i think i'll always wanna come home to canada. maybe not where i live now, but canada just feels the most like home and id love to live somewhere beautiful here

if you could live in any time in history when would it be?: i mean i guess my gay ass is in the most ideal timeline right now, but bigotry and such out of the picture i would have fucked w the 70s so hard....big hair big shoes and just not giving a fuck??? gimme

if you could play any instrument masterfully what would it be?: guitar or piano are obvious choices but tbh id be an iconic saxophone player

if you have one, what mythological god or goddess do you have a connection to?: artemis and apollo were the first deities i was drawn to when i started my craft and figuring out religion and such, but recently i have been very drawn to persephone and dionysus??

lastly, favorite recent selfie from your camera roll: (i never take selfies this is the most up to date pic i have and its bad but oh well)

i'm not gonna tag anyone bc i dont have friends but pls do it if u wanna!! i wanna know yall better!!!

[blindspot-repata]

High School Blindspot

Chapter 5 - Party

Natasha arrived early at the Patterson’s house, as she had agreed to help her friend with some preparations to wait for all the staff. They owned a large and imposing house. The parents were scientists and were able to earn very well from their research. Patty was thinking of pursuing their parents career, but not so much Freddy, he was very smart, but it seemed that the world was small for the boy. At the age of twenty he had not yet met, while he loved to hold parties with friends. The preparations were ready and some young people had arrived.

“Natasha, how are you handling everything? You know what I'm talking about, don't you?” Patty was always very worried about her friend and tried to help when she was in trouble, followed her relationship with Ricky from the beginning and never had the courage to give an opinion about it, but clearly saw how bad this dating did to the brunette.

“Look, I didn't measure the consequences, and my relationship with Ricky has gotten out of hand. There was no love, I don't know what I feel anymore. I just know I don't want to see him anymore. I hope he leaves me alone. I want to start my life over. The Latin girl seemed determined on the subject. Something seemed to have changed inside her.

“And how do you think to do that? Have you got a plan?” Natasha turned to the door and found Edgar who had just entered with Kurt, her friend followed her with the look and the smile of both became very clear to the blonde.

“I'll be back!” Natasha announced heading quickly towards the door.

“All right!” The brunette didn’t hear what she said and Patty smiled at the scene. If there was one person in this world who could do Natasha good, it was Edgar.

“Hi Ed, hi Kurt. Glad you came.” Natasha addressed the boy as soon as she reached him at the door.

"It's not like I'm hanging around. I worked almost all day and wanted to get some rest before coming.” The girl's smile enchanted him and he couldn’t stop looking at her. Natasha was beautiful, the tight black dress accentuated her qualities, the platform heels made her a few inches taller, she wasn’t at all vulgar but very beautiful and sensual. The boy didn't know what was happening to him, but he was very fascinated with her.

“Funny. Come on, let's have fun.” She pulled him out of his trance by pulling him by the hand.

They went to the counter that was filled with food and drinks. The two didn’t drink alcohol often. They grabbed a soda and headed outside to join the rest of the already crowding people.

Kurt had searched the whole party and had not seen Remi anywhere. Maybe she didn't really come. He grabbed another beer and leaned against the counter already regretting his hopes. It was best to forget whatever it was that she was awakening inside him. Maybe he should have brought Allie, not that she hadn't insisted, but he'd been categorical about the breakup, only she didn't want to accept the facts. That's when the blond boy came in and Kurt kept an eye out, but didn't see his sister with him. Already giving up, he turned his back to join the rest of the crowd when Roman called him.

“She's out there. I think two girls got her talking. Why don't you go there.” Roman had noticed from the beginning the connection between the two, he wasn’t to interfere with his sister's relationships, but realized how the other boy seemed disappointed to not see her.

Kurt didn't think twice and headed for the exit where he found her talking and laughing with Patty and another girl he didn't remember the name. Then she saw him and he waved at her from the door. The girl was dressed in tight, low waisted black trousers, a long sleeved black blouse that left most of her belly out, she looked perfect. She said something to the girls and came to meet him.

“Hi. You took too long. I mean, it's none of my business. Do you want to come in? Eat something, dance.” Kurt's clumsiness with her was visible. What happened to him? It looked like she was the first girl to talk to.

“ I couldn't leave before, I was late.” Shyness was on her face. Maybe because she didn't know a lot of people at the party and all the people already seemed clumsy. She escorted him to the outside area where a metallic sound and a little too loud came out of two huge boxes located at both corners of the porch. Remi waved to Natasha who was talking animatedly with Edgar and some other friends. If those two didn't have something she couldn't say anything else, because to her their relationship seemed to go far beyond just friendship. Rich came to meet them very excited.

“Hey, you two! You need to try this drink.” Rich held a bottle in one hand and a half full glass in the other. The contents weren’t identified by both, as the bottle had no label. “It will leave you two crazy people to catch each other!” The short man spoke in a lower tone.

“Rich! Get out!” Kurt shouted at Rich because he could ruin anything the boy intended with Remi. Rich was a total clueless.

“Rich, come on, this is starting another song.” Boston came pulling him by the hand.

“I'm sorry for his nasty comments.” Kurt apologized to Remi, who had gone very red.

“Don’t worry. I know how he is.”

The party went well and many were already drunk, as they could not see drinks available and control themselves to drink little. The style of music changed to something quieter and soon the romantic songs that rolled over at the end of the holidays began and some couples were already forming on the dance floor.

“ Remi, dance with me?" Kurt ventured, for he had nothing to lose and would not stand still knowing that tonight could be a great opportunity for him to approach her.

“ I'm not very good and...”

“ No problem. I conduce you. Come on."     Kurt held her by the waist and Remi wrapped his arms around the boy's neck. Their faces were very close arousing many sensations between them. He led her down the track to the rhythm of the song and with a few steps they were already in tune.

 “Hey, do you wanna dance?”

Natasha was coming back from the house with a glass of drink in her hand when she was surprised by a boy she had rarely seen.

The girl looked around the room and didn’t find Edgar. She knew how annoying it was to refuse a dance. It could make you embarrassed. “All right.” She was taken by the hand to the dance floor and the boy held her by the waist, she was careful not to get too close. They both danced with a visible lack of tune and the music seemed endless.

“My turn.” The music stopped and Edgar was beside them on the track. Natasha flashed a smile that didn't hide her satisfaction at seeing him.

"I thought you weren't coming anymore." Natasha spoke softly as he approached.

Edgar, in turn, pulled her to him and their bodies were very close together. Natasha laid her head on his shoulder, put an arm around his neck and his other hand rested on the boy's shoulder. She closed her eyes and let the melody seem to have carried them to another dimension. She could hear his strong heartbeat, which made her happy to think a little might be for her. The girl was realizing that what he aroused in her was reciprocal.

 “Hey Roman, do you dance?” Patty risked talking to the boy who always seemed angry.

“ No. I don't like it very much.”

“ Me neither. Do you want to know my lab?”

“ What?” Roman didn’t know what was hidden in the invitation, because he could see from the beginning the way the girl looked at him.

“My lab, come on, I'll show you.”

She led him into the basement and when she turned on the light Roman was as surprised as she was disappointed.

“You thought that was what? An excuse for me to be alone with you? Maybe it is too.” Patty approached him and saw that he was red so decided to take it easy. “I'm kidding. I'll show you my little things.”

“ You look tired. If you want to go I'll take you.” Kurt and Remi danced a little and went out for a breath. It was a little late and the girl's tiredness was visible.

“Okay, but I don't want to go home now. If you don’ mind.”

“Okay, we go for a drive and when you want I'll take you.”

“I need to warn my brother.”

They didn't find him so they asked some friends to let them know they were gone.

“ Where were you?”

Natasha was a little startled by Patty's appearance upon returning from the interior of the house. Her hair was very messy and the buttons on her shirt were buttoned all wrong. The brunette looked back and realized the reason for her disorder also coming from inside the house. Roman had a rumpled shirt and a mischievous smile. She started laughing and gave Remi's message to him.

“Patty, I'm tired and I can't stay to help you, but I think you already have a helper. She said pointing to the blond boy. “ Edgar will take me home.”

“All right. You can go and enjoy and have fun both of you.” The girl clearly had drunk too much to say that making Natasha and Edgar totally embarrassed.

 “What is here?” Remi wanted to know as soon as Kurt stopped the car in front of the ruins of an ancient church. They got out and stood against the side of the car.

“I came here with a friend when we were kids. Remi felt a pang of sadness in his words. “She passed away, was murdered, and never had a chance to grow up and live so many things that might be waiting for her.

“I'm so sorry.” Remi held tried to bring some comfort to the boy.

"Somehow you remind me of he. Not just for looks, but for determination, the way you look. They were now facing each other and Kurt's gaze was so penetrating that Remi hardly blinked. "I just wanted to make one thing clear. I didn't drink Rich's drink, but I have a crazy urge to kiss you.”

In the absence of answers Kurt took it as a consent. He approached the girl and placed his lips over hers, the kiss was nothing angelic but intense and firm, the two there in the moonlight and the stars let their bodies speak for themselves.

“Today was perfect.” Natasha said as soon as Edgar stopped the car at the door of his house.

“Yes, it was a long time ago I didn't have fun or dance that much.” You dance very well.

Natasha laughed at the compliment. “Some say I get the hang of it.” I'm going down. It's late, and Grandma must be worried about my delay.”

Edgar wanted to say so many things, he didn't want to let the night's charm end like this, because tomorrow they would just be friends again, as usual. The boy didn't even know if they could be anything else, but when they danced together he had her in his arms and she was his for a few minutes, there was nothing between them, not Ricky, not Sarah, or any other ghost that could stop them from enjoy, this moment was just theirs. He took her hand and delicately intertwined her fingers with his.

"Natasha..." He dipped into her gaze and the girl bent over him and pressed his lips to hers. It was just a quick kiss that lasted a few seconds, but it was enough to make it clear that there might be something more between them in the future, who knows.

Neither of them took the next step or said anything. Natasha went home and fell into her bed with feelings swirling.

Edgar had a restless sleep, closed his eyes and felt her in his arms with her lips glued to his, he wanted more, much more. Now that she had taken this step he knew he was ready to talk about his feelings.

He woke up with the phone ringing nonstop, he didn't want to answer it. He looked at his watch and it was four in the morning, had slept less than two hours. Who would this time be? The mother was not home and Lis was sleeping.

“Hello! His voice was sleepy and angry.

“Edgar.” It was Natasha on the other end of the line. “ You can come? I need you! Please...”

[sportanime-maniac]

Can you do a scenario of Tsukki, Bokuto, Akaashi and Ushijima when his gf and her bff have their language and inside jokes? Like her bff said somethink like "Excuse me waiter, there's a hair in my cake" or "The cap drops straight onto the jar" her gf and bff are crying and snorting but he don't understand nothing? Sorry if this is confusing also sorry if I write something wrong Polish is my first language :) Have great weekend

Firstly you’re writing is amazing for English not being your first language. Secondly, you have an awesome week! And thirdly, THANK YOUUU ❤💙

Tsukishima

For some reason, he thought it was a good idea to accompany ____ and her best friend out for a meal. How very wrong he had been. They got to they cafe and sat down. Tsukishima could hear the two girls talking but couldn’t understand a word they were talking so fast. He sighed and pulled out his phone to pass the time, before a waitress came.“Hello, please can I have the fish jar?” Yukiko asked. (I made this up idk, but I imagine it to be a rainbow in a jar. So different types of fish in layers with vegetables etc).“Certainly,”“Could I have the lasagne please? Nothing quite as eccentric as Yuki here,” she teased her friend.“Yes of course,”“Just some strawberry cheesecake please,” Tsukishima requested. When the waitress walked away, the two girls just burst out laughing and glancing at each other.“What did I miss?” Tsukishima asked, with his usual bored look.“Kei, you’re amazing!”___ cried with laughter, just as Yukiko snorted.“Uh, can you stop? You’re attracting attention,” he asked them. They stopped laughing so hard but their bodies were shaking so hard from the laughter that it was evident something was still funny.���Can you at least tell me what’s so funny so I don’t look stupid and gormless here?” he almost hissed at ___. She sobered up quite quickly after that.“Sorry Kei. It was an inside joke from when we were kids. We uh, we had nicknames for people we did and didn’t like, so when these trivial things come up in conversation, all he’ll breaks loose. But the person named Strawberry Cheesecake…” she took a breath to stop from laughing “…was someone who neither of us will get over the stupidity of,” she explained.“Well it wasn’t really their stupidity. More like they tried too hard - as in they tried too hard to play the class clown, and failed miserably. At the time it was the most hilarious thing we could think of,” Yukiko explained further. Tsukishima nodded, still a little unsure. He could have sworn they were acting high or drunk.Shortly afterwards, their food arrived. Yukon took the lid off her fish jar, and nudged ___.“Hey…” she said, And dropped the lid onto the jar, not from too far away. It landed and they broke into fits of giggles again. ___ started choking a little on her food, which only increased Yukiko’s entertainment. She was almost crying. Tsukishima gave his girlfriend some water and she calmed down, sighing and holding her stomach.“You two are impossible!” Tsukishima exclaimed, exasperated at their behaviour.“Sorry…” they apologised like chastised children before ___ spoke.“Say, Kei, is that hair in your cake?“she asked with a straight face. Yukiko disappeared from view, falling off the seat. ___ had a very good poker face, and so restrained from laughing, but Tsukishima wasn’t buying it."Alright I’m never coming out with the two of you ever again. Your mental age decreases about 20 years, and you arent even 20 yet!”

Bokuto

“Kou-chaannnn!!!” Yukiko called, waving him and his girlfriend ___ over. The two girls hugged and grinned at each other. Bokuto had never been out with the girls before, and he wasn’t sure what it entailed, but there was no practice on, Akaashi and Kuroo were busy, so what else was there to do.“Are you coming Koutarou?” ___ asked, holding her hand out. He latched onto it and a large grin appeared in his face. He loved holding hands with his ___. They went into a few shops, before spending a longer time in a clothes shop. Bokutos wasn’t really paying attention. He was in his own world. Or least he was until ___ almost doubled over from laughing. He looked between her and Yukiko, trying to see what was so funny, but coming up with nothing. Yukiko had a dress and a suit round her neck with the coat hanger (you know, wjem you try something for length and put it round your neck without actually trying it on?), with one on either side. When they didn’t stop laughing, he started to feel Emo Bo coming out, but he didn’t want to ruin his girlfriend’s day out with her best friend, so he managed to suppress it.“___…?” he asked, looking at her with utter confusion. She smiled at him and took hold of his hand again.“Sorry Koutarou, it’s just and inside joke me and Yuki-chan have. You don’t need to worry,” she told him, ruffling his hair with her other hand. Just from that simple action, Bokuto’s emo side dissolved away, being replaced with adoration for the female in front of him.

When they got home at the end of the day, Bokuto whined and begged ___ to tell him all her inside jokes with Yukiko so he didnt feel as left out next time.

Akaashi

Akaashi’s girlfriend, ___, and her best friend were having a movie day in, and since he had nothing better to do, he decided to join them. They first watched a film called Eragon (I RATE THIS BOOK SERIES NOT THE FILM) and it went by fairly smoothly.“Well, I guess as a warm up film it was ok, but the books are still a million times better,” Yukiko, ___’s best friend judged, shrugging.“I totally agree,” ___ nodded.“So do you want to do a Lord of the rings binge or a Harry Potter binge?” Yukiko asked, indicating like an air hostess. Akaashi had never seen his girlfriend go from serious to crying with laughter so quickly. Sure, he was happy she was laughing but BOY WAS HE LOST. Instead of voicing his confusion, he stood up and started walking to the kitchen.“Do you want some popcorn?” he asked, and ___ squealed.“YES PLEASE!! LOVE YOUU!!” she called and Akaashi nodded. This was normal. ___ liked to voice her love, while Akaashi struggled to show emotion, so only did so when they were alone and at the right time. It worked for them and they had been going out for more than a year now.

When the Fukurodani setter entered back into the room, he identified the hobbit being played. All the dwarves had just started singing Misty Mountains. He put the popcorn down and kissed his girlfriend quickly. She grinned and glanced at him, smiling, before looking back to the TV.Soon enough, Bilbo was running out his house with the contract and running through the Shire.“I’m going on an adventure!!” both ___ and Yukiko quoted and burst out laughing again, both thinking of the same incident a few years ago. Akaashi let out a sigh. He had a feeling something like this may happen.“___, if you’re going to be laughing, could you explain what it is you’re laughing at, so i don’t feel so clueless?” he asked. She apologised profusely.“I’m sorry Keiji. I will do,” she smiled, grateful to have a boyfriend who spoke his mind so clearly.

Ushijima

He had just finished in the volleyball club at school, and had decided to spend some much needed time with ___, his girlfriend. She had been patient and let him practice as much as he wanted over the past three months, for which he was truly grateful.The captain walked over to her apartment and heard laughing from inside. Frowning, he knocked on the door.“Stop it!! Someone’s at the door,” he heard her laugh, before scurrying to the door, opening it.“Wakatoshi? What’s wrong?” she asked.“Who else is here?” he asked. She blinked.“Just me and Yukiko,” she said. He sighed. They were having a tickle fight. Of course. See the relationship Ushijima was in was unorthadox to say the least. ___ was happy, smiley and HYPER almost all of the time, while Ushijima…well, he wasnt.“What are you going to do?” he asked. She shrugged.“We hadn’t decided. She just arrived,” ___ replied. They walked through to where Yukiko was sprawled over the sofa.“Hello Ushijima-san,” she greeted. The two of them never got past the formalities, since Ushijima was too intimidating, and they didn’t really spend much time around each other.“Yukiko-san,” he returned the greeting.“So shall we go out somewhere?” ___ asked, a little sad that they were being so formal.“Sure,” they both said simultaneously. Yukiko grinned and ___ bit her tongue, cheeks straining against the smile.“Okay…so where to?” she asked.“The beach?” Ushijima suggested. Yukiko gasped.“No way! Do you see any ready bikini bods round here?” Yukiko asked, dramatic. ___ once again coughed to cover up her laugh.“Maybe not the beach in the middle of winter Wakatoshi?” she suggested. He blinked.“Oh yeah I lost 3 months to volleyball,” he muttered to himself. The two girls couldn’t hold it back anymore, and burst out laughing. The male looked at them incredulously…well, to the experienced eye his expression shifted microscopically.“___?” he asked. She looked at him, her eyes filled with joy and amusement. “Why are you laughing?” he asked.“Its just…something me and Yuki saw a few years ago, And it’s been an inside joke since. About the beach. She reminded me of it, sorry!” ___ cried. He just shook his head and walked into the kitchen.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

I really like hearing people's stories so (if you want to and it's totally okay if you don't) how did you and actuallylukedanes meet/get together/get married?

I’ve had this buried in my inbox for so long, Anon, I’m sorry! Since today is my wedding anniversary with @actuallylukedanes, it seems like the perfect day to tell this story. My memory isn’t the greatest, so my spouse might be able to challenge me on some of the details, but here’s my side of the story. :)

In 2004, I was home from my freshman year of college. It had been a total disaster, as I was a tiny (undiagnosed) bipolar/Autistic/anxious/ADHD hot mess of a human, and I ended up remaining at home after that instead of going back right away. So I was 19, recently addicted to the internet thanks to college web access, and a high school friend of mine told me about a site called Livejournal. Being a big fan of personal oversharing, I joined immediately. 

Being also a fan of writing, especially (at that time) songs and poetry, I searched for LJ communities about creative writing, and found one I liked. It was a group for queer writers, but I swear that at the time I missed the whole ‘queer’ side, as I was still firmly in the ‘me? liking girls? but i think literally every boy is someone i should have a crush on and have never heard of compulsory heteronormativity yet!’ camp. So I joined that group, despite identifying as straight and clueless, and went about writing and talking to other members.

One of those members and I hit it off right away. In what was literally our first conversation/comment thread, they suggested that we run away together to New York City (where I longed to go). They were that sure they liked me right away. Plot twist: we never made it to NYC, but I did kinda run off with them. :)

Anyhow, we became friends via Livejournal, and then eventually met in person. When I showed them around the area where I grew up, we crossed a giant bridge at one point and a rainbow bloomed overhead. Clearly it was fate. I’ve always been a giant romantic and believer in fate. But I was also (did I mention clueless) an Autistic kid who’d never dated anyone before, so while my now-spouse was falling in love with me and making their intentions known, I didn’t even understand how a person knows when they’re in love. (I was Rory Gilmore, basically. But with better taste in first romance.)

I was also completely lacking in self-esteem and firmly, legitimately believed I was unattractive and unlovable. People act like those who say/feel that way are being overdramatic, but I had never sincerely believed anything more in my life. After all, I made it to adulthood without being asked out on a date or even having anyone express interest in me romantically–my own mom wrote a teasing inscription in my16th birthday card asking if I’d been kissed yet. That could give anybody with mental disorders and an unusual body type a complex!

So though I knew immediately that they made me nervous and twitchy and distracted, it wasn’t until our first in-person meeting ended that I believed they were interested in me, and sorted through my feelings and realized I loved them back. My declaration of my feelings still exists out there in the Livejournal universe, for the world to see, because I have more than a dozen LJ blogs still up even though I stopped using them years ago. Yes, I told them via a blog post. You’d have to ask them whether that was super-romantic or just bizarre. I was both, so I do not know.

Once I caught up to them, feelings-wise, we proceeded to have a long-distance relationship for a couple of years, during which time I got my first job and they moved back home. I visited California for the first time for their birthday and met their family and decided I clearly belonged in California, land of fruit smoothies everywhere, rather than my homeland of rain and seasonal depression. I was too weird for their family, to be honest, though their twin liked me from the start, but I survived the visit and eventually my future spouse came to visit me again in Washington and stay for a week.

During that week, they found a job in my tiny town, changing the course of our future forever. Without really talking to my mom, who I was still sharing an apartment with (and who wasn’t the sort to put her foot down, ever), they went from ‘visiting’ to living in my room and helping get me to and from work and contributing to bills. In 2006, we moved into our own little ‘apartment’ (part of an old house) and having our own lives to pay for, I stopped handing my mom all my money for the first time. 

Despite being mostly supportive of my relationship even though I grew up in a religiously conservative family (still emotionally scarred, thank you for asking), it was the money that led to my mom disowning me and my estrangement from most of the rest of my blood kin. Because we were ‘a team’ when I was growing up and that was all I understood as a developmentally disabled kid, as an adult I never thought twice about giving her all the money I earned even when she spent it on wasteful things and we were left without groceries or electricity. So, in addition to saving me from the life of miserable straight marriage that was expected of me, my spouse rescued me from being taken advantage of, and is an actual hero.

Anyhow, our life together really started, therefore, in August 2006, when we got settled into our first home together, and so that’s the first anniversary we celebrate. The following year we moved from Washington to Utah, where we weren’t legally able to get married until the Supreme Court forced the state to let us, so our marriage in 2015 is the second date we celebrate. We wanted to get married on Halloween because it’s the best day ever, but Halloween was over a weekend that year so we had to settle for a day early. Aka today. :D

My best friend/sister-in-law @actuallyrorygilmore stood for me, and my spouse’s best friend came from California to join us and stand for them. The four of us attended the ceremony at a Salt Lake courthouse, then had bubbly beverages and bits of dessert back at home. I was dressed a little like a fancied-up pirate, as befits my personal style, and my spouse looked amazing. We exchanged simple white-gold wedding bands, and I wear mine with my engagement ring, which I got to pick out at an antique shop and still adore more than anything I’ve ever worn in my life. (The pictures of me with it on it after I was proposed to are the happiest, glowiest, I’ve ever looked in my life.)

As of today we’ve been married for two years, in addition to all the years of friendship and romance that came before, and I couldn’t be happier and more grateful to be with my Leander, who loves harder than anyone I know and is the best partner I could have wished for.

Over the course of the last 13 years, we have adopted/been forced to give up cats we loved like our own kids, lived in a car multiple times, struggled through poly relationship dynamics, donated plasma and shoplifted in order to survive, almost became parents and then had our chance taken away, and gone hungry, a lot. We’ve also spent amazing nights in fancy hotels, driven across the country blaring showtunes and singing along, made our own holiday decorations and splurged to buy each other the presents we always wanted as kids but never got, raised cats we have to this day who are still like our own kids…and I have never wished for any other life. 

It sounds like I’m exaggerating, but I’m truly not, when I say that my life didn’t begin until we met. I can’t imagine where I would be without them. And I would never want to. 

♥♥   I love you, Leander. Happy two years married. ♥♥