#I don't think he's bad with money I just think he's perfectly happy with his current financial situation

[greymouse42]

so i definitely want to ask about Malachi's handwriting. and also! thinking about signatures made me think about credit cards which leads me to ask : after rent and groceries, what does Malachi spend the most money on? What does he think about saving up for, if he thinks about that at all?

This is the ask that actually made me Google how much the average LAPD officer gets paid. (Defund the poliiiiiiice ✨)

Anyway Mal’s handwriting is #bad, and he stashes all his extra income in a savings account that is making, like, 0.02% interest and he does not think about it at all, which I imagine drives Jan insane. His car is a money pit, but I feel like it's a death-by-a-thousand-cuts situation. He never has to stop and save up for whatever part or tool he needs, but the project is just never done.

I think he spends a decent amount on restaurants, too. But I don't think he has any concrete financial goals. That'd require him to think about the future more than he does. Paul should maybe talk to him more about that sort of thing.

Same question about money spending back @ Jan, because it's a good one. 👀

[inkskinned]

before you know about women, you hear that you do not need to love the man, just that you need to love him through his manhood. which is to say you have seen the future painted in lamb's blood over your eyes - how your mother shoots you a look about your father's inability to cook right. how your aunt holds her wineglass and says i'm gonna kill em. men, right! how your best friend bickers with her boyfriend, how she says i can't help it. i come back to him.

you learn: men are gonna cheat. men aren't going to listen when you're talking, because you're nagging. men think emotions are stupid. they think your life is vapid and your hobbies are embarrassing. men will slam things, but that's because men are allowed to be angry. if you get loud, you're hysterical. if a man gets loud - well, men are animals, men are dogs, men can't control their hands or their eyes or their bodies. they're going to make a snide comment about you in the locker room, about your body, about how you're so fucking annoying. you're going to give him kids, and he will give you the money for the kids, and you're going to be running the house 24/7 - but he gets to relax after a long day, because his job is stressful. the man is on stage, and is a comedian, and says "women!"

and you are supposed to love that. you are supposed to love men through how horrible they are to you - because that's what women do. that's what good women do. wife material. your father even told you once - it'll make sense when you're older. it was like staring down a very lonely tunnel.

it feels like something's caught in your throat, but it's all you know, so. it's okay that you see sex as a necessary tool, a sort of okay-enough ritual to keep him happy, even though he doesn't seem to care about happiness as-applied-to you. it is relationship upkeep. it is kissing him and smiling even though he didn't brush his teeth. it is getting on your knees and looking up and holding back a sigh because he barely holds you as you panic through the night. it's not like the sex is bad and you do like feeling wanted. and besides! he's a man! like... they're another species. you'll never be able to actually communicate, right. he isn't listening.

you just don't get it. you don't feel that sense of i'm gonna climb him like a tree. mostly it just feels fucking exhausting. you play the part perfectly. you smile and nod and are "effortlessly" charming. and it's fine! it's alright! you even love him, if you're looking. you could have good life, and a good family, and perfectly happy.

in the late night you google: am i broken. you google i'm not attracted to my husband. you google i get turned on by books but not by him. you google how to get better in bed.

the first time he yells at you, it almost feels like blankness. like - of course this is happening. this is always how it was going to end up. men get angry, and they yell, and you sit there in silence.

you mention it to your friend - just the once - while you're drunk. she shrugs and says it's like that with me too, i just try to forget and move on. men are always gonna hear what they want to. pick your battles and say sorry even though he's in the wrong. you play solitaire online for a month. you go to your therapist appointment and preach about how you're both so in love.

after all, you have a future to want. nobody lied about it - how many instagram posts say marriage is hard. say real love takes work. say we fight like cats and dogs but the best part is that we always make up. how many of your friends say happy anniversary to the best and worst thing to ever happen to me. if you really loved him - loved yourself too - you'd accept that men are just different from you.

the first time she kisses you, it's on a dare at a party. something large and terrifying whips through your body. you wake up sweating from dreams where her mouth is encrusted with pearls and you pick them off one by one with your teeth. fuck. you sit at the computer and your almost-finished game of sim city. you think about your potential perfect life and your potential future family. you google am i gay quiz with your little hands shaking.

you delete each letter slowly. you don't need to love him. you just need to keep going.

[jinwoosbabyboo]

"Love and Deep Pockets"

Our LADS Men are financially stable we know this however.....what kind of provider are they? Walk with me....

Zayne

Type: Head of Household

I see Zayne as the traditional head of the household type of man. However he respects you and understands that if you want to work you're free to do so. Just know that all the money you make is yours alone.

MC: Let me pay for something! Zayne: Just let me take care of you

If you really insist on paying he will let you if that's what will make you happy/feel better. Otherwise he's covering all the bills, dates, trips, etc. the only thing that gets split 50/50 are household duties and even then you have to strong arm your way into the kitchen or into doing any of the cleaning.

Zayne is incredibly self sufficient; he's clean and orderly. He is used to keeping his house clean and his clothes washed, pressed, and folded. He's almost unreal with how perfect he is.

The only time you really spend your own money is when it's a surprise for him or when you're alone. He enjoys taking care of you because he absolutely adores you. You're a dream come true and he'll do anything to keep you happy.

Rafayel

Type: Head of Household, False Sense of Independence Provider

If you want to be spoiled he's perfectly fine with that. He's rich and you're his babygirl as long as he can see that smile and be around you he's a happy camper.

Now if you are hell bent on splitting 50/50 Rafayel will let you think you two are splitting bills and things 50/50 meanwhile all the money you send him for half of anything he's putting it into an account that's just collecting interest. He will let you pay for anything and everything you want but best believe he's reimbursing you behind your back.

He'd laugh when you figure it out and try to cuss him out.

MC: I gave you that money to help with the bills Rafayel: and it did help .... it helped me giggle while you thought I'd actually let you pay for anything.

Xavier

Type: Head of Household, No Argument

Xavier is also traditional in a way I mean he's a prince. He is definitely providing everything with no argument. The day you decided to move in with him your bill paying days were over. He let you have your independence when you lived alone, but now you're in his care.

MC: I could've paid for it Xavier: I know but now you don't have to

You can go shopping, buy groceries, buy lunch .... if you're by yourself. If he's with you expect him to already be sliding his card into your hand or directly into the card reader before you can even pull yours out. You have to damn near fist fight this man to pay for anything.

Sylus

Type: Sugar Daddy, Head of Household, Spoiled Brat

SYYLLUUUSSSS. I need him in ways that are unhealthy. This man is spoiling the absolute FUCK out of you. He gave you his black card like it was nothing and asking to spend his money is a 'trivial matter'

You had a bad day? Deposit. You had a good day? Deposit. He misses you? Deposit. Just because? Deposit.

Don't even think about trying to pay for something with your own money. He's the type to hide your cards and slip his into your wallet just so you have no choice, but to spend his money.

MC: I have my own money you know Sylus: Im more than aware kitten I just dont care

Whats his is yours and what's yours is yours. That’s his mentally all he wants to do is make sure you want for nothing and you have the most comfortable life with him.

Don't worry if you still want to work he wouldn't stop you, but those weekly or biweekly checks are just going to be collecting interest because it won't be touched.

[postersofleon]

Virgin Who Can't Drive

Leon is trying to teach you how to drive so you'll visit him in Raccoon City.

content: fluff and smut

- request

notes: afab fem!reader; fluffy couple who love each other; talking about porn; praise kink coming from both leon and reader; it's a short long. I wanted to write a fluffy sex scene because re2 leon is so lovely. um, i don't like the ending. y'know, it's like written perfectly in your mind and the next day it's just an ass writing of it. both reader and leon are virgins. it took forever because i hate myself so here you go

part two (here)

taglist: @argreion

Leon smiled brightly at you as he saw your cheeks puff up. "C'mon, reverse isn't that bad." He hoped his words be enough to make you feel better, but you looked so frustrated. "I, I panic controlling this machine." Once he heard those words come from your mouth, he sighed softly.

A typical nice day with his girlfriend who hated the idea of driving. "Once these cities are walkable, I'm going to finally hate less my life." You reverse the car gently, you focused on the car and on Leon. Leon nodded his head slowly, "Yeah, good, good..." Your cheeks began to burn a bit from his words.

"Sweetie, focus." Leon said kindly.

You wanted to desperately mock him, judge him for his cute words, but what else can you do this exact second.

"Okay." You said almost immediately. You kept your hands on the wheel as you slowly turned the wheel. Once you completely turned the car, you turned to see Leon with a happy smile, "Yeah, see, I told you you can do it." Leon kissed your cheek, and it was so easy to know that he did this to praise your little heart.

"Ready to drive?" Leon asked.

You nodded your head weakly as you began to drive. Your foot on the gas and the other foot just stayed floating above the brake. You weren't a complete idiot at the idea of driving, you knew how to make turns and stuff, but the fear of the other drivers made your stomach turn. If you weren't a reckless driver, another idiot will and, fuck. You glanced at Leon, "Leon, can we just skip the driving and," You leaned a bit close to the wheel, "I hate driving."

You were twenty years old practicing how to drive with your boyfriend. No matter how positive you tried to see the story, you felt like a loser.

Leon placed the car in park, "Honey," He gently cupped your face, "Take a deep breath in." He whispered softly. You looked into his eyes and took a deep breath in. His fingers gently squeezed your cheeks to help your nerves that kept spiking up. He leaned gently and kissed your lips, "I'm here to help." Leon muttered softly. Your teeth chewed on your lower lip, "Okay."

You drove around the streets; it wasn't hard because Leon made sure to keep another extra eye as they went around. "I can't park, Lee." You mumbled softly. Leon rubbed your thigh gently, "Yes, you can, baby." He kept his hand on your thigh as you twirled the wheel into position. "That's it... good." He nodded his head slowly. You blushed at every single word he said, your cheeks burned up.

"Be careful with the other car. Nice and easy." He nodded his head slowly until you finished. You parked the car and looked at Leon, "I hate driving." You mumbled softly. Leon caressed your cheeks, "I know, but when I go to Raccoon City, I need my princess to learn how to drive so she can visit me." You looked away; it felt so unfair that Leon accepted a job so far away. Leon. You looked at the wheel of the car, "So, how many days are you betting on me to get better?"

"A couple of weeks." He promised.

And Leon was leaving in a couple of months. You needed to get rid of your stupid fear.

-

Leon was finishing his small studies of law he took in community college. It wasn't required, and probably it was wasting time and money, but he didn't mind waiting around the campus for you. Leon hated to think about leaving you alone. He wanted to take you to Raccoon City, but you needed to finish your classes. Leon didn't want you to stop everything you are doing for him. However, he feels anxious of leaving you without actually losing his virginity with you.

Both virgins who were too scared to look at real life penis or a vagina.

He had seen those trashy porn movies in his home trying to prepare, but he knew things about you. He knew you wouldn't be super sexual and he was aware that maybe his boner won't appear like he planned.

Planning sex was hard work. Especially when everyone apparently lost it in high school. It was his fault for wanting to watch Plup Fiction and Casablanca with you. He was horny, but never enough to force you to do something he knew you would be uncomfortable with.

The closest thing Leon has done was sit between your thighs as he played video games on his Sega. Your legs on his shoulders, his hands every once in a while rubbing your legs. Okay, maybe he was a moron for not having sex yet. He saw you leave your class and he stood up straight. "Honey, I was planning we can watch The Wedding Singer." He stammered out like a wheezing toy. Your eyes narrowed, "Didn't we see that already?"

"Yes," He agreed, "But, who said we can't enjoy it again."

You exhale through your mouth, "Mm, okay, I guess." Your fingers scratched your cheek, "So, The Wedding Singer and we are done for the day?"

Leon laughed softly, "Not really." He knew his face looked dumb, "I was thinking that maybe we should buy condoms."

"No fucking way." You gasped softly. Leon nodded his head excitedly, "Yup, I, I want to do it with you unt-until I go to leave. I don't want an awkward sex moment with you and fail at it." He laughed softly to himself before looking back at you. "I don't want that to be last memory of me."

You looked away from Leon and let out a laugh, "So," You held gently his arm, "I'll rewatch and see The Wedding Singer and remember that's when we had sex." Leon nodded his head, "Yeah, it'll be fun, I guess."

-

You couldn't watch the movie properly now. You kept looking at Leon as Adam Sandler and Drew Barrymore fell in love. You felt yourself smile with the thought of a romantic moment with Leon. You have known for so long. You knew all his little quirks and... You are learning how to drive thanks to him. You gently pushed his hair back, you saw his moles scattered around his neck and your heart clenched.

Lee. Leon. Your love.

Leon turned to see you.

Your eyes looked down at his lips, "I love you." You whispered softly. Leon smiled weakly, "I love you more."

When the movie ended, he held your hand tightly and pulled you so close that your hips crashed with his. "So, what's the first step of sex?" You teased Leon. You had your ideas of just grinding on him until he popped a boner, but it was just your needy self. You didn't mind how long it lasted to love Leon until he was hard.

Leon laughed softly, he didn't have an exact answer, but he got into his knees and pulled out a dozen roses. You wanted to pretend you weren't digging his romantic gesture. "Lee, stop it." You groaned weakly. "Nope," He has the cutest awkward smile in the world, "I have to express my love over and over."

You accepted the flowers in a shy manner. "I hate you." You mumbled softly.

Leon and you went to car and he drove you back to your rent home you shared with roommates. "A-are we really doing this?" You asked Leon weakly. Leon nodded his head, "I brought my cassettes for the occasion." You were scared for Leon's type of music for the moment. "What's in the cassette?" You grabbed a vase to put the flowers in.

"Honestly," He clenched the cassette, "A bit of everything I thought would be romantic." Meaning, you knew Lovesong by the Cure will be there. You held Leon's hand and led him to your room, Leon felt nervous already and it pained him.

You sat on the corner of the bed. Leon nodded his head, he needed to assure himself as he prepared the cassette. Leon turned to you and smiled, "Forgive me if I fail to satisfy you." He muttered softly. He got into his knees and placed himself the only place he knew where to start. You didn't know what to do and neither did Leon. He rubbed your thigh and his hands landed on your hip.

The music of the cassette began and it was a Queen song. A small piano began and you recognized it without an issue. Leon blushed at his song choices, "I, I know I'm not good with songs." His hand grabbed your hip tightly, "A song named Jealousy shouldn't be a tape where I want to love you, but I... I can't imagine a life without you."

Your eyes looked up at the tape player and back at Leon. "Lee, I don't know how to... start." You mumbled shyly. Leon nodded his head and stood up, "I don't either," He smiled, "They don't teach this in pornos." He leaned close to you, his legs slowly tangling with yours. Neither of you were sexual aroused. But it was nice. Leon's hand caressed your face and his thumb rubbed your lip.

Your hands slowly grabbed his hip. Leon closed his eyes for a second, he leaned back and took off his white shirt off.

You knew he was in good shape. You always saw him train and see how scrawny his body was until now. He had barely formed abs and soft pecs. You usually saw this body when you two went to lake to enjoy the fresh water in a summer day. He was beautiful. More of his mole decorated his skin, he even had one so close by his nipple. His head tilted a little, his cheeks were pink, and they won't seem to fade away.

The music was completely in the background noise now. Leon closed his eyes for a second, "Okay, okay..."He swallowed weakly. Your hands stayed a while on his hip until they slowly slid down into your stomach. "Your turn." He whispered softly. His hands gently traced your stomach; his fingertips were barely even touched you skin and a small whimper escaped from his lips.

You tilted your head away. It was simple touches, yet those small butterflies formed around your stomach and between your thighs. The grip on Leon's hands tightened on your hip, and they slowly went up and up and gently pulled off your shirt. Leon smiled weakly at his new view. Your breasts looked so soft. He leaned close, his breath was against your neck, "I love you."

Your kisses met his neck and shoulders. "I love you too." You mumbled back. Leon smiled, "I like this." His hands rubbed your hips, skin on skin action wasn't as normal for you two. His hands slowly went up and took off your bra. His pecs and your breasts rubbed against each other, your nipples perked up. Leon's hand gently held your breast and placed his mouth on it. He sucked on your nipples, tugged them gently between his teeth.

The music completely disappeared now. A tiny moan escaped your lips when he pulled away from your breast and went to the other nipple.

Leon had always loved your tits. Seeing them covered with a shirt was enough for Leon, but now he was between your tits.

Leon felt how his limp dick was getting swollen up. Tighten around his jeans, aching around and becoming... it was hard to explain. This wasn't like masturbation. He had you. You felt how his bulge pressed against your covered pussy. Leon could already imagine how... fuck... your tight walls clenching around his poor aching cock. Leon's tongue traveled up until it met your neck, licking up all those details of your skin.

His own blue eyes met yours, his hand caressed your face again and pulled you close. "I, I love you." He couldn't help but repeatedly tell you those words. He meant it.

But with his dick tightening his jeans and him loving you. The next step came. You and Leon temporarily separated from each other remove your jeans. Leon was embarrassed of his tighty white underwear. He kicked them off your bed and he looked at your thighs slowly showing. Leon blushed again. You turned around and faced him. "Sorry if my vagina looks ugly." Your hands cupped your already covered pussy, but once you said those words Leon said, "I don't care." He just hoped you won't be scared of his worm.

Leon looked up at the ceiling, "So, I'll whip it out, okay?"

You nodded your head.

Leon swallowed nervously, his hands played with the elastic band and tugged them off. Your eyes couldn't stop looking at Leon's penis, "It's pretty." You whispered. His cock twitched at the compliment, "I trimmed it." Leon muttered softly. His hands played with the pubes he had, "I'm decent size." He was proud of five inches, but you didn't care of his size. You saw how his cock looked thick and heavy, and your eyes widen at how big his balls were.

"Holy shit." You mumbled softly. Your eyes saw his again, "I'm guessing that's you man spread so much."

Leon blushed again, his hand held his cock and you noticed the pre cum sticking around. You liked how Leon's cock looked. Most of the other dicks you have seen with Leon for future practice were kind of ugly looking. "It's okay?" Leon asked you.

You nodded your head.

Now it was your turn. You slowly took them off, Leon groaned weakly when he saw his girlfriend's pussy. His thigh clenched, "Baby..." You looked away for a second until you looked back at him. "Is it...pretty?" Leon nodded his head, but there was no thoughts in his mind. He was so curious of being of you now. Just the tip would be nice...

Learning was taking forever. But nobody mind it. You leaned back and Leon was rubbing his shaft between you pussy lips. His eyes fluttered a bit as how good this felt, your small moans made him want to fuck you so badly. His cock's tip caressed your cunt, his cock then just spilled his cum. It was spilling out and covering your pussy with his seed. He groaned weakly, "S-sorry..." He forced his half hard cock deep in you.

Losing your virginity was so... strange.

His cock made space for himself inside your pussy. You were gasping with every single push. He just kept pushing and pushing your walls open until he was fully in. His cock was still cumming, "Sorry for cumming." Leon muttered softly. He wanted to keep himself nice and hard for you. His hands grabbed your hips and kept himself close. Your wall kept clenching and drying up his cock.

He moaned softly. Leon's head tilted back as he released all his cum deep in you, "S-sorry-" He whispered softly. He looked back down, he smiled weakly at you.

Leon caressed your cheeks gently, rubbing the palm of his hand to your cheeks.

-

"Leon," You felt your heart beat so fast, the phone was pressed against your cheek, "Leon, you have been in Raccoon City for three days, and, fuck, baby, you haven't answered yet." You drove around the empty streets. Leon never just decides not to call you or ignore your calls. He isn't that type of guy. You threw your phone on the passenger's seat and kept both hands on the wheel.

But the world stopped when you mountains of military men and women boarding up the street. You stopped the car and placed it in parking. "Um, e-excuse me?" You cleared your throat, "W-What happened?" A man looked at you for a second, "You lived in Raccoon City?"

You shook your head, "No?"

Your mouth felt dried. "W-what happened?" The military man didn't answer you. "My boyfriend is a cop. He was..." Your voice stammered, "He was suppose to be here."

The military man sighed softly, "Sorry, ma'am, I can't say anything."

"His name is Leon Scott Kennedy," You said fast, "Is he okay?"

[artificial-transmutations]

Going Green

"Microtransactions!"

Charles looked around the board members.

"Micro. Transactions. Have you ever heard of that? Anyone?"

Slowly, heads nodded.

"Oh, good! So, you *have* heard of them. Does anyone care to explain to me then why our games barely have any? In fact, I have yet to see *any* microtransaction revenue from our latest release."

"But Sir, 'Orcs and Morcs' is a single player game - and not for a mobile platform, too. It doesn't even have an online connection. It would be highly unusual."

Charles M. Anderson cut the engineer up with a gesture. He didn't even know the other man's name, which wasn't too unusual. Even though he was the CEO of GreenGames for six months now, he didn't bother to learn his subordinates names until they proved useful. And this unnamed engineer could be happy if he still had a job after this meeting.

"I don't care about your techno-babble. Microtransactions is where the money is, so I want them in our products. *All* our products. And make sure to make them mandatory for any progress, too."

Charles usually talked about "Releases" and "Products". To him, video games were just a product like any other. Of course *he* didn't play any of those silly games, games were for children and losers. He only cared for the numbers, the graphs and revenues.

"What about the backlash? I mean, I understand that you want to generate more revenue, but GreenGames is known for providing high quality games that *don't* try to rip their customers off."

"So?"

"So, this could be bad publicity for us. Really bad."

Charles looked around the table and noticed most of the other board members nodding.

"Listen up, everyone. I think there is some misunderstanding here. You think that I care about our customers. I really don't, as long as they continue to buy our products. There is no such thing as bad publicity. So, I don't tell you how to draw your silly ogres and you don't try to meddle in the business aspect of the company, okay?"

Even though the inflection suggested a question, it was perfectly clear that it was neither a question nor a request. Again, heads nodded and tried to avoid eye contact. Good. Respect was very important for a leader.

One woman spoke up. Charles suspected her to be some lead writer or something.

"It's orcs, Sir."

Charles blinked. "What are you trying to say?"

"You said ogres, but our games are about orcs. That is our thing, we make games about orcs."

"There is no difference between orcs, ogres, unicorns and all that whimsy stuff. Leave me alone with your fantasy crap."

"But there is another thing. You are responsible for the story of our products?"

The woman agreed with a careful: "Yes, Sir?"

Charles looked her straight in the eye. "It has come to my attention that there are certain woke elements in our products. As a story writer, I expect you to take care of that."

"What... do you mean by woke? And by taking care of that?"

Charles sighed. Why was everyone so incompetent?

"Apparently, there is same-sex smut in our products, some even have pronouns. That crap needs to disappear asap. It is 'go woke go broke', after all."

The writer woman looked at Charles incredulously. "But Sir! Same-Sex romances are a well-accepted part of the industry for *decades* now. And it's not like the player has to engage in that, too. It's just an option - an option we actually received much praise for in the past. And about the pronouns... It's just a setting that influences some dialogues on how the player character is referred to. Again, it is perfectly possible to play as a straight green cis male if that's what you want to do."

Charles shook his head, his voice now dangerously low. "One more word of that, miss, and you can start looking for a new job. 84% of our customer base is male, and male customers want to see boobs, that's a fact. I won't tolerate wasting company resources on pacifying some noisy minority and alienating our main audience."

"But sir!" the writer woman objected.

Charles' look silenced her.

"One more word and you're out. We'll find another writer. Someone who does the job and keeps their mouth shut. This meeting is over. I expect results end of next week."

Nobody dared to speak up when everybody left the meeting room, and Charles returned to his office. What a productive meeting.

Just as he turned to his computer to check today's KPIs, he noticed a new email.

From: Employee Council

To: Charles M. Anderson

Subject: Going Green

Body:

Dear Mr. Anderson,

we here at GreenGames would like to take the opportunity to point out some concerns about your leadership role.

We have noticed a disturbing development since your takeover and would like to remind you of the values we stand for at GreenGames. We like creating games, and we identify with the work we do. Our players are important to us, and we strife to be open and accessible for everyone. Just like the protagonists in our games, we have honor and use our strengths to better the world. You in particular should be the living embodiment of this ideal. Please take this chance to re-think your methods and decisions and "go green" for real.

Sincerely,

The Employee Council.

Charles was outraged. How dared those subordinates criticizing him? He reached for his phone, ready to phone his secretary to find out who this "Employee Council" was but was interrupted by a ripping sound.

The right arm of his expensive suit jacket had ripped at the shoulder, which was unusual. He would have to have a stern talk with the tailor. Charles stood up and took off his jacket - or at least, he tried to. It was like the piece of clothing was way too small all of a sudden. He finally managed to get out of it, but only with several more rips in the fabric. Charles loosened his tie. He was sweating like mad, and when he looked down on himself, he was in utter disarray. His shirt looked like it was several numbers too small and as he was watching, one button after the other flew off with an audible "pling", exposing his torso underneath.

But was it really his torso? Not only was it *bigger*, it also looked way *hairier*. Charles had never been a man with much body hair, but now, he looked down on a stomach that was showing visible abs covered with a dense treasure trail of dark hairs. They continued upwards where they met with a true forest of curly dark hair that covered the slabs of pecs that were still growing as Charles watched.

He had to loosen his tie again before taking it off entirely. All of his clothes felt constricting, so, he peeled himself out of his shirt, too. His expensive watch was interrupting his growth painfully, but Charles was too occupied to notice, let alone care. With a dull cracking noise, the leather strap broke, and the watch flew across the room, hitting the opposite wall.

As Charles continued to grow, the chair underneath him creaked, but, again, he had other things to worry about. His lower body was still covered by his dress pants and shoes, but that was getting tight, too. His shoes especially were getting painful, and it was a relief when the front broke, exposing large muscular feet and toes. His pants were filled to the brim with heavy, muscled legs now, but there was another region where the capacity had been reached. His groin formed an obscene bulge. That alone would have probably fit - barely - but it was accompanied by an unusual feeling. Charles didn't *mind* his extreme change. In fact, the hyper masculine body turned him on, even. He watched as a dick print became clearly visible outlined against his groin, as his cock grew hard. It pulsed, once, and Charles felt a spurt of precum soak into his boxer shorts. A wet patch became apparent as the liquid seeped through his pants - all from a single spurt. His dick pulsed again, and Charles' head began to swim. The air in the room was thick with sweat and testosterone by now, and Charles groaned from arousal. Man, what would he give for a nice firm manly ass right now, giving him a lap dance.

Wait, what? Manly ass?

But it was true! Every time, Charles tried to think about sexy girls, but all that came to mind were men. Burly, hairy men, twinkish shaved men, green-skinned ogre-man. No, not ogres, he corrected himself. Orcs.

As he thought this word, his dick pulsed again and made Charles almost cry out from arousal. He couldn't restrain himself anymore. He *ripped* apart his dress pants and lowered his boxer shorts that looked like a pair of briefs on his massive body now, releasing a gigantic stiff rod and a matching set of heavy balls - along with a whole cloud of manly, musky smell that made Charles even hornier than before.

He closed his gigantic hand around his shaft and moved it up and down, in a slow, barely constrained motion. He had almost come by that one stroke, so horny was his mind. Fascinatedly, he watched as his cock and balls took on a deep, green color. It looked almost like a cucumber, or the penis of the incredible hulk. Or... an orc. As he moved his strong hand up and down again, the green started to spread in all directions.

Yes! There was no doubt: He was becoming a big, strong, sexy orc! Charles let all restraints fall away and started pumping in earnest now. With each stroke, the green spread, until his entire torso was of a rich green color. His head felt a pressure as his facial structure reformed, and his ears grew long and pointy. His hair lost darkened and grew out into a wild mohawk-like hairstyle. At the same time, a black beard sprouted around his entire jaw, underlining his masculinity.

Meanwhile, the green had swept across his arms and legs, quickly eliminating any leftover pink spots. The green color looked incredibly hot under the coat of dense, manly hair, and Charles felt himself getting closer. He grunted with each stroke like an animal and where his muscular green body touched the furniture or his executive chair, it left a film of manly sweat. Finally, he felt a short bit of pain on his ears and nipples, as small metal piercings appeared there: Short studs in his ears and small rings in his nipples.

That sent him over the edge. With a final bellow, he came, mightily. His large green balls contracted and his massive cock spew cum everywhere: All over his stomach, his chest, his furniture, even his face!

Charr panted in the afterglow of his orgasm. He was the epitome of virility and although he had just cummed all over his office, his mind kept creeping back to sexy guys again. He would be able to go again, soon - but that had to wait a bit. He used the remains of his suit to clean up a bit (although it was still clearly visible and smellable what happened here), stuffed his mighty tool into the cum-stained underwear and reached for the phone.

"Please send the board to my office, I want to issue an honorable apology, and announce our new strategy." He rumbled with his new, low voice. After a moment of consideration, he added: "And please send someone to install our games on my PC."

He rubbed his hands. This would usher in a whole new era for GreenGames - with the greenest possible CEO.

I have the feeling that a lot of companies could benefit greatly from a bit of a greener leadership!

[xomakara]

Second Chance at Love

SUMMARY |  Jongho’s twin daughters really want you to be their new mom ever since you have been taking care of them after their mom passed. They’re trying to play matchmaker between you and Jongho to fall in love, but in actuality, you and Jongho already have feelings for each other.

PAIRINGS | Jongho x Reader

GENRE/CONTENT/WARNINGS |  widow!Jongho, nanny!Reader, singledad!Jongho, dilf!Jongho, lots of fluff, smut, vaginal sex, unprotected sex (wrap it ya’ll!), face riding, creampie, impregnation, dirty talk, praise kink, pet names

RATING | Mature, 18+, NSFW

LENGTH | 7134 words

TAGLIST | @yourlocaljonghoe (tagging cuz I know you're waiting for it lol)

NETWORKS |  @illusionnet @atzhouse @cromernet @wonderlandnet

@k-vanity @othersideoutlawsnetwork

AUTHOR’S NOTE |  Hi, hello. Thanks @itsnotmydejavu for all the brainstorming. I really appreciate it! This was more fluffy that I anticipated lol. We really need more dad!teez fics out here~

"Joomi, I think we should make Daddy fall in love."

"With who, Jooeun? Y/N?"

"Yeah! Wouldn't Y/N be a great mommy? She already takes really good care of us! And she's mommy's best friend."

"Mommy would be happy if Y/N was our new mommy."

The two five-year-olds were huddled by the stairway, looking down the hall into the kitchen where you stood by the sink and Jongho cleared the table. After their mom passed away, the twins knew that their dad was struggling to raise them himself, he had no clue what he was doing. When you, their mom's best friend and their favorite person in the whole wide world, moved into the home to help out, they were thrilled.

They knew you had been close to their mom, but seeing how much you care for the three of them just proved to them even more that you are the perfect match to take over the role of their mother. You cook all their favorite meals, you read bedtime stories to them, and you even help them brush their teeth! You loved all three of them very deeply and would do anything for them. The girls admired you and adored your kind heart and the loving smiles you had for their dad and them. The girls noticed the way the two of you looked at each other when you thought no one was looking. Their dad had it bad and Joomi could tell that you did too. But you and their dad always insisted you were 'just friends' and that there was nothing more than that. So, being the bright children they were, Joomi and Jooeun put their minds together to hatch a plan.

If they made you two fall in love, you could get married, and become a family!

Their dad was walking into the kitchen. "How did their snacks go? Were the girls okay?"

You nodded. "Oh, it went wonderfully. The girls were perfectly sweet the entire time."

Jongho exhaled a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry for leaving. I had to stop by a client's office since we are having trouble meeting a deadline for a project that needs to be completed by Friday. If anything were to go wrong or anything would happen..."

You put a hand on his arm, stopping him from rambling. "Everything was fine. Don't stress yourself out, everything's under control here. You just take care of whatever work you need to do."

Jongho nods but hesitantly stops. "I'm...just afraid something will happen. The girls...they've been through enough. I feel bad for asking so much from you, I don't even pay you to take care of them or live in my home or-"

You chuckled. "Hush. No money is necessary to watch over the people I care about. Plus, this is more than a payment. You've given me a place to stay, food, and the company of two adorable girls. Now stop worrying."

The look Jongho gave you after that was too warm and sent butterflies fluttering throughout your body, but it made your cheeks heat up.

Joomi and Jooeun made small noises of "falling in love, falling in love, falling in loveeeee," over and over while they looked over at their dad and you by the stairway. They were careful not to be noticed by either of you and they were patient as they watched.

"Okay...you're right," Jongho breathed out a heavy sigh and you saw the way his shoulders visibly relaxed, his built figure leaning forward and closer to you.

You laughed. "Let's start planning a summer trip, okay? When things are not as busy."

He smiled. "That'd be lovely."

As soon as he said that, you heard the girls giggling by the stairs. "Were they listening to our conversation this whole time...?"

You covered your smile. "Probably."

Jongho scrunched up his nose, laughing to himself. "You know what they're trying to do, right?"

"I mean- they've been playing their games lately..." You let out a small laugh.

You can see Jongho shaking his head from behind you. The two of you walked up the steps, approaching the kids at the top and grabbing them. The girls screech playfully in shock, holding back a snicker at what their next plans could be. Jongho holds both of them in each arm, one girl in each, and you're unable to hold back your laughter at how precious they are. Jongho carries them both off to their bedroom, where he drops them softly on the big bed that the two girls shared. They're laying on their bellies, kicking their feet back and forth like fish, a huge grin plastered across both of their faces.

"I know your tricks, ladies. So do be a little less obvious about trying to play matchmaker." He scolded them playfully, hands on his hips and giving them a pretend serious look.

Joomi snorted, still kicking her little feet. "We've noticed you and Y/N."

"What does that mean?" He chuckled.

Jooeun flipped over, the bedsheets making a small swoosh sound underneath her as she laid down on her back. "You and Y/N have crushes!"

Your eyes widened. You felt yourself redden up. "Oh. Girls! No no no, your daddy and I are just friends. Best friends! Like, soooo best of friends!"

Joomi furrowed her little eyebrows. She glanced back and forth from you to her father. "You and Daddy love each other like mommy did, but don't kiss."

"Or...at least haven't kissed. Yet," Jooeun sang.

You let out a shaky sigh. "Where are they learning these things? Don't go saying things like that, the two of you."

Joomi nodded with a shrug. "Why not? Are you embarrassed?"

You let your gaze wander over to Jongho to look for some support on the matter. But Jongho was flushed and looking everywhere other than at you. It was obvious that this wasn't an easy conversation for either of you to have, much less in front of the twins.

Joomi noticed your actions and she smiled, snapping her head over to her father. "What? Are you embarrassed, Daddy?"

Joomi was giving him the same look she always did when she's trying to convince him to get something for her. With big puppy eyes, a wide smile, her bottom lip out with just a twitch at the end. Her eyebrows wiggle just a little, begging him silently and sweetly. She and her sister knew their father couldn't resist when they pleaded in that certain tone of voice, looking in their sweet little girl ways. They've played their games so many times, so why not try again?

"Joomi..." Jongho sighs, putting his hands on his knees, not being able to escape her large dark brown eyes. "What am I going to do with the two of you?"

The twins only let out tiny laughs, shrugging and hugging each other in the bed as Jongho stood. The girls love him very much and are grateful they have such a good father, despite their circumstances. Jongho leaves the room and you stay in the room with them, sitting on the bed, wanting to get to the bottom of where the girls' idea of a crush came from.

"Who told you about what a crush is?" you asked the girls after they sat themselves on the bed and changed into their PJ's.

"Uncle San!" Jooeun squeaks as the top half of her head peeks out of her PJ top.

You internally facepalmed, thinking about how Jongho's older cousin, San, was whispering conspiratorially with the girls after they asked him questions about life in a school filled with friends, crushes and parties.

"We thought you and Daddy liked each other," Jooeun had confessed innocently.

"Do you hate Daddy?" Joomi frowned, getting teary-eyed as her head pokes through the collar. "Do you hate us? Are you going to leave?"

You give her a hug, cupping her face with your hands and giving a sweet, reassuring smile. "No, no, no, sweetheart. Not at all, it's just complicated. Please don't say those things again, okay?"

It hurt, seeing the disappointed looks in their eyes and on their pouty lips, but you tried not to show it on your own face.

"Promise?" Jooeun had pleaded.

You took in a shaky breath. "Of course. Come now, time to get to sleep."

You helped the little ones into their beds, tucking the blankets around them and reading from a fairytale book as the light to their night-light flickered from the wall outlet. They slowly drifted off to sleep and you shut the bedroom door with a gentle click behind you. With a sigh, you approached the master suite across the hall and opened the door quietly, catching sight of Jongho flopped stomach-down on the mattress, buried with a duvet as you chuckled at the sight.

You clicked the bedroom door shut as you entered, stepping over to him. "The kids are asleep," you announced softly, moving to sit on the side of the bed and leaned over, poking his shoulder blade.

With a quiet huff, he rolled over, his face and shoulders now facing you. His fluffy hair lay flat over his eyes and a low sigh passed through his nose as his eyes shifted to meet yours, eyelids drooped.

A smirk found its way to the corners of his mouth. "Those two will be the death of me."

"You know we'll have to tell them about us eventually if they keep it up with their shenanigans," you warned him, laying yourself overtop of him.

"I was thinking of ways to approach the subject with the girls in my head just now." he revealed to you, reaching his arms around you. "I'm nervous that I don't know what they're really thinking or feeling."

Your hands came up and framed Jongho's cheeks. "Oh, Jongho...those girls are too smart. They even asked San about what crushes are.”

"San? Why'd they ask him?"

"That's not the point." you whispered, running your thumb across his soft cheek. "Do you think we should sit down with them? Explain?"

"Explain what? That their daddy and their nanny are secretly in love with one another because they can't stop sneaking kisses in secret places of the home?"

"Shut up." you said with a playful nudge at his chest.

"But you admit those kisses are nice." Jongho says as he sits up, dragging you onto his lap, the blanket sliding down his toned chest as his arms remain around you.

"Extremely," you confirmed, wrapping your arms around his neck as you feel the hands on your waist move to cup the underside of your thighs, adjusting the way you're positioned on him.

"Hey." Jongho brushed his nose with yours as a whisper against your lips.

"Hello," you replied with a giggle, already finding his mouth and leaning in with the full intent of kissing him again.

"Would you be happy with a widowed, single dad?" He continued to stroke the back of your leg with his fingers. "What it be wrong for me and the girls to be happy again?"

The tips of your thumbs draw little circles on the back of his neck. "Nothing is wrong with that, Jongho... I think Eunmi would be happy if you and the girls were finally able to move on and be happy."

"What if that happiness was with you? With us?" he asked, pressing his forehead against yours and rubbing his hands up and down your sides and you gently rub his back with your fingers.

You lean into the embrace and inhale, closing your eyes for a moment, then pulling away. "When Eunmi told me her last words to take care of you and the girls... I think maybe that was her way of telling me that it was okay for us to be happy. It's not like we're strangers. Not like we haven't been together before."

You and Jongho had known each other for years, and at one point, the both of you dated back in high school for a year or two but broke off your relationship for various reasons. You met Eunmi in college and ended up staying good friends with her throughout the rest of the years. And when you found out that Eunmi and Jongho started dating and eventually got married, you couldn't have been more pleased for the two of them.

You were never jealous that Eunmi and Jongho were together. Never jealous when they got married or when you helped Eunmi with the twins' birth. 

Never once.

Because you loved them dearly and you wanted them to be happy together.

When Eunmi fell sick and lost her fight with the sickness that plagued her body and spirit, she pleaded for Jongho to promise her to live his happiest life possible, and that meant starting a family all over again. Because she couldn't anymore. She couldn't raise their kids, or start over as husband and wife with Jongho, so the least she could ask for was for him and the girls to be happy. When you visited her in her final days in the hospital, she grabbed your hand and asked you a favor.

"If you love Jongho and want him to live a fulfilling and happy life... then please, look after him for me when I'm gone," she had begged with tears in her eyes. "You know how to take care of our girls, and if Jongho were with you and the girls are happy with you, I know he would be more at ease. With more help, with love...and if somehow the both of you were to fall in love all over again with one another...don't leave him, okay? Take care of him...take care of the three of them...love them, make them happy...my family is your family now."

That was over a little more than a year ago, and Jongho, although still hurt over his past love's untimely loss, was healing. So were Joomi and Jooeun. That was proven by the fact that Jongho was finally starting to love again, albeit slowly, after a while. The twins were right. They knew that he was happy when he was around you, just like he knew the twins were happier when you were around, just as their mother, Eunmi, knew the same thing.

And the last promise he made Eunmi on her deathbed was one that he will make sure he keeps.

Live his best, happiest life possible, even with the way that his life was now.

Even if it meant being with you, the woman he once loved before and recently was falling for again.

Your thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of your back hitting the plush comforters as Jongho shifts to pin you on the mattress below him. You look up and see the gleam in his eyes that have turned a shade darker from before. Your hands snake their way around his neck as he reaches and traps your face with his fingers and palms. A mischievous smirk danced across his features, his thumb rubbing the spot below the corner of your mouth, his index and middle finger rubbing at the shell of your ear. You shivered at his actions.

"Let's make them happy, Jongho..." you cooed, relishing in the soft, tickling touch of his fingers along your neck and shoulder. "Let's be happy, together, with them. Like Eunmi asked."

"I love you, you know that? I can't help but think that Eunmi knew what was going to happen, the whole time," he expressed with a big exhale as you pull him forward and close. "And she never once left me. Never doubted that I loved her even with my...previous feelings for you resurfacing."

"She loved you so, so much, Jongho. Don't ever think she didn't love you, or that she thought you didn't love her, despite the things that happened when we were in high school," you reminded him with a reassuring smile. "She loved you until her final breaths and beyond, and wanted nothing but a lifetime of happiness for you and your girls. You deserve that. Everyone deserves that. Including you."

"Do you love me too...?" he whispered against your lips, his thumb grazing your cheek.

"Always have, always will," you promised, smiling and finally pulling him in for a sweet kiss.

The next few days passed in a blur. The girls were constantly scheming or attempting to make you and their father become 'official' to their little eyes. You and Jongho would playfully play the fool, knowing their secret plans, and doing small things that would give them the belief that their tricks would work.

But in actuality, you and Jongho were having a good time trying to guess what would come next. One day, you woke up early and had just finished washing the dishes from breakfast. The girls scurried up behind you, wrapping their small bodies around your legs like adorable monkeys clinging to trees.

"What are you two up to, huh? Going to try and climb Y/N like a tree and claim that I stole your new favorite?" You hear Jongho joked as he leaned on the doorframe between the living room and dining room.

The twins giggled in unison at the ridiculous accusation as Jongho slipped closer, grabbing both girls from either side and tickling their sides as he lifted the twins up on his broad shoulders.

"Never! Our favorite is still you, Daddy!" the girls gasped in between fits of laughter as you watched on in amusement at their antics.

You rolled your eyes at the girls' silliness.

"Careful there. Make sure the two of you are hanging on tight," you playfully warned them as they straddled Jongho's shoulder blades.

The two girls immediately sat and hung on to Jongho for dear life, faces buried on either side of his head. You and Jongho chuckled at the adorable display of their devotion. You reached out and bopped the twins' noses in turn as they peered up, big bright grins adorning their cherubic cheeks.

The weekend is arriving soon, and with it, comes an overnight trip for the four of you.

"Are we there yet, are we there yet, are we there yet?" the twins cried out, looking out the passenger's-seat windows in anticipation.

"We'll be there soon," you laughed from the front seat where you were seated beside Jongho as he drove along the road to the campsite.

You and Jongho decided to take the kids camping, along with his friends and their kids to get a break from the bustling city life. His friend Mingi has a lakeside cabin and lots of land on which you can pitch a tent, start a fire, roast marshmallows, swim in the lake, and go canoeing or kayaking, just a few hundred meters away from the cabin itself. Jongho explained this to you as you looked out the window, smiling and watching the pine trees on either side of the vehicle whizz by at lightning speed.

Your thoughts drifted from the scenery out the windows to the scenery in the passenger seat beside you.

Jongho has his eyes focused on the road. His mouth was set in a small smile as he maneuvered the vehicle and focused on his driving, looking back into the rearview mirror to glance back and see his children giggling and talking amongst one another.

Then his dark brown orbs flickered over to your side briefly before his eyes landed back on the road before him. He turned and tilted his head towards you and his smile only got wider as his eyes crinkled at the sides, an adoring look settling over his handsome features.

"What's on your mind?"

"Not too much," you murmured, not realizing that you were being called out because of the pensive look you've been wearing on your face while looking out the windows. "Just thinking about stuff, you know, as a typical human is prone to doing from time to time."

"Got something you wanna share or something you want to keep to yourself?"

"Mmm...let me get back to you on that one."

Jongho let out a chuckle, shrugging and facing forward again. He kept his hand on your thigh the entire drive.

As soon as Mingi came into sight and everyone pulled up and parked in the driveway near his cabin, the twins were ecstatic. Unable to keep themselves in check as they jumped up and down and opened the door, they hopped out onto the ground and rushed towards him. Jongho's other friends' kids did the same thing and rushed forward, enveloping Mingi in a big group hug and pulling him downwards to smother his face and neck with affectionate kisses and screaming 'Uncle Mingi! Uncle Mingi! We're here!!' at the top of their lungs. A look of bewilderment crossed Mingi's features and he laughed heartily.

"Oh man, I wish I was that popular," San muttered as he watched the kids crowd the tall man, shaking his head.

"You're just jealous that Haru likes Mingi more than you," Wooyoung said teasingly, punching San's shoulder playfully.

"But I'm his dad!" San said with wide-eyes.

"And Mingi is his favorite uncle." Hongjoong pitched in.

"I've been replaced." San faked a dramatic swoon.

"Yunhee, make sure you get money from Uncle Mingi!" Yunho yelled at his daughter who only responded with a loud 'Got it!' from Mingi's front porch before turning around and giving her father a thumbs up.

You watched as the kids greeted Mingi on his porch and then he turned his attention to the adults and waved enthusiastically, pointing at the cabin door.

"Lunch is inside already and is ready whenever you guys want! Help yourself! We got games set up in the back if anyone wants to get their butts kicked in basketball or kickball. We also have kayaks in the back we can take out onto the lake. We've also got plenty of seating on the deck and some patio furniture. Make yourselves at home!" He announced, his voice booming out with laughter.

The adults nodded at him, not missing the mischievous twinkle in his eyes as he continued to yell at the kids. "KIDS. There's a small playground behind the cabin with a swing set, sand pit, slide, etc. and the water's right behind that. BUT-"

With that, the kids perked up and looked at him, eye-wide, eagerly hanging on every word that would leave his mouth.

"But~ If you don't behave well, Uncle Joong and Uncle Hwa are going to turn into super spies and capture each and everyone one of you!" Mingi announced in his serious adult's voice as he eyed the kids before continuing with, "Don't even try us! You can run, but you can't hide. Uncle Woo and Uncle Yeo have superhuman hearing and can detect trouble-makers from a hundred feet away. They'll be on you before you even realize it! Uncle Yunho and Uncle San have lightning reflexes! One little slip up and they'll snag you faster than your father can!"

The kids gasp and run past them in a hurry towards the playground that lay behind the cabin. The adults looked amused after their gleeful retreat, and it's not long before the noise of playful squeals and shrieks fill the air.

You and the rest of the adult pack burst into a fit of laughter at the fact that Mingi just riled the kids up into a frenzy. The others looked back and watched their offspring tear into the backyard. You watched a fond look cross Jongho's face, the smile reaching his eyes as he watched the scene in the back unfold.

"Jongho," Mingi said, interrupting Jongho and shaking him from his thoughts. "Are you and Y/N okay to share the bedroom in the back of the cabin? All the kids wanted to have a sleepover in the living room, and all the other bedrooms were claimed, save for one. I mean, I could sleep on the couch and one of you can take my bedroom..."

"It's okay, Mingi." Jongho smiled, pulling you to stand beside him and wrapping an arm around your waist, looking at you for approval.

"Ohhhhhhh~" the rest of the guys exclaimed, slapping him on the back, playfully. They were happy that Jongho was moving on.

"Wait," Wooyoung cried out, confused, "Wasn't there another room open?"

Mingi wiggled his brows. "Totally open."

“So why…” Wooyoung scrunched his face in confusion. Then his eyes widened in understanding when it clicked in his head. "Oh. Oh, damn!"

"Did you plan this or something, Mingi?" you laughed.

He holds his hands up. "Nah, the kids suggested sharing the sleeping arrangements. I would've switched our sleeping places around, but Joomi and Jooeun gave me puppy-dog-eyes and asked me to go along with their plan. Don't think any of the adults or kids here could resist a face like that."

"The twins and their shenanigans. Their mom was such a schemer so the apples didn't fall far from the tree," you said affectionately, remembering the woman you called your best friend.

"They take after Eunmi but their hearts are in the right place." Seonghwa laughed. "They know that you two like each other and have been wanting you two together for a long time. Guess today, we're accomplices to their 'Matchmaker-Twins'. Right, Captain?"

"Yes, we are," Hongjoong piped up.

You giggled at the remark, realizing that the others were in cahoots with the twins' scheme. You rolled your eyes, not surprised that all the kids and adults are in on the plans the two made for the day, the rest of the group joining in, egging the girls on, and enabling the twins to go along with their plots and plans.

After helping the twins and the other kids settle into their 'camping spots', and getting them properly settled in their temporary sleeping arrangements in the living room and putting them down for a nap, you and Jongho retired to the back room to relax in peace and quiet until the kids wake up again.

The two of you climbed into the bed and under the sheets, settling down on top of the covers. You and Jongho simultaneously sighing in relaxation and content. Jongho rolled over onto his left side and pulled your body, snug to his and against his chest, hooking his chin on your shoulder.

"Want to get a quick nap in?" you ask.

"I know something that will put us right to sleep," Jongho whispered, pressing a gentle kiss against your neck, right below your ear, causing you to shiver at the contact.

"Now?" You teased, a smirk playing across your features.

"Why do you think Mingi gave us the very private room in the cabin? I guarantee he put two-and-two together, plus heard my little munchkins' schemes, so..." Jongho retorted, continuing his little trail of pecks along the expanse of skin on your neck. You bit your bottom lip in anticipation. His mouth was trailing hot and open kisses along your exposed flesh, his tongue flicking at the curve of your shoulder. The trail continued downward until he was stopped by the cloth covering your skin. Jongho looked up at you. "What do you say, baby? Wanna?"

In response, you reach down to pull up the shirt you were wearing up and over your head. Dropping it to the floor next to the bed. "We need to hurry, though. Mingi said the kids are probably going to wake up in the next hour, maybe, to finish up their outdoor activities."

"An hour is more than enough time," Jongho murmured against your jawline, pulling you towards him and capturing your lips in a hungry, passionate kiss as you grind against his groin. "More than enough..."

The atmosphere grew heated rather fast and in no time at all, the two of you were bare of your clothes, warm skin touching warm skin, his lips chasing yours and yours chasing his, trying to feel him as close as possible. 

"Get your pretty ass up here. Ride my face." Jongho demanded.

"You're kidding," You choked out in disbelief, he shook his head at your words, his hands traveling down your curves.

"Nah, get up here. Sit on daddy's face." His words were a breathy moan against the crook of your neck and you felt yourself blush from head to toe.

"Jongho," you whined.

Jongho moaned desperately and pinned you to the bed, lifting you by the back of your thighs easily and throwing your legs over his shoulders as he laid back on the bed, his dark eyes burning into yours, "Please?"

"Are you trying to kill me?" You asked, giggling as he stared at you.

"Just turn around," Jongho chuckled, and the next second you gasped as his hands grasped you tightly and pulled you around to where his face was inches from your soaked core. "Hands on the headboard and keep still."

His firm demand sent heat shooting throughout your stomach and down into your aching pussy, and you quickly scrambled to grab onto the headboard. You almost jumped out of your skin as his tongue took a long, slow lick up the length of your slit, your grip on the wood tightening as he slowly began circling his tongue over your clit.

The wet heat that pressed against your sensitive bundle of nerves was almost overwhelming and you ground your teeth as Jongho began pushing his tongue against you rhythmically, licking and sucking at you as he tried to fuck you with his tongue. His ministrations were methodical and measured, never picking up the pace too much, but applying an immense amount of pressure every time he moved against you.

Your head was swimming at this point, the feeling of his soft mouth pressing against your drenched pussy was sending shockwaves of pleasure all throughout your body, causing your nipples to harden and your mind to reel. You couldn't keep yourself from whimpering slightly at the way his fingers dug into the soft flesh of your thighs, and your hips jerked downwards involuntarily in an attempt to feel his tongue deep within you.

A guttural groan erupted from within his throat, and it reverberated against you as his grip on your thighs became impossibly tighter. He pinned you against his mouth so that you couldn't squirm against him again, keeping you on his tongue so that it could continue massaging over every sensitive bit of your pussy.

And before you even realized what you were doing, you had clenched your thighs around his head, not allowing his head to budge from underneath your hips. He moaned against your flesh and picked up the speed of his movements, sloppily lapping at you and dipping his tongue deep inside, stretching your clenching walls, working your entire core in a way that was sending you barreling into a quick and intense orgasm. Your legs bucked out on either side of him as you moaned loudly, pressing his tongue deep inside of you.

"Gosh, Jongho! F-Fuck!" You moaned, pushing your hips down and riding his face vigorously until your entire core pulsed, sending warm shockwaves rippling through your whole body.

When you finally finished clenching your thighs around his head, Jongho managed to lift his head up just enough to begin sucking hard on your oversensitive clit. "Don't fucking move," He murmured against you.

As your head slowly spun, he held himself there, moaning against your wet flesh. Jongho would not allow you to recover, and his tongue never stopped its movements, continuing to lick at your walls as if he could drink every bit of you in.

"Taste so good…" He breathed, kissing your inner thigh gently.

"Oh please..." you whispered and gasped as the pressure of his mouth against you suddenly increased, Jongho moaning obscenely beneath you.

"You make the prettiest noises..." Jongho said as you felt his hot breath fan against your overly sensitive pussy, his mouth moving against you rapidly, almost as though it couldn't kiss you deeply enough. "Couldn't help but be noisy could ya? Little tease..."

"Baby, I can't cum again..." Your whole body was beginning to spasm now as the warmth between your legs threatened to burst again, his lips pressing hard against your clit and sucking deep and slow. Your vision was going white as the pressure built in you. You could feel yourself climbing toward yet another earth shattering release as you leaned against the headboard for support, knuckles turning white from your iron-like grasp.

But Jongho never let up, relentlessly dragging his mouth over your swollen sex and moaning hotly as he pleasured you, eyes closing in rapture as he lost himself in the taste of you. "Can you cum again? Can you cum on my tongue, beautiful?"

Your grip on the headboard tightened impossibly and before you knew it, you were cumming, your body jerking in time with your pulsing pussy, soaking him as you released everything within you.

Once your high fizzled out, and your heartbeat returned to a normal rate, you were feeling your body growing tired. Your fingers and arms and legs were sore. "Jongho..I need a break..." you sighed, leaning down to try and push his head away, your words sounding more desperate than you'd meant them. "I can't cum again like this, it's too much.."

"Then do you want me to fuck your pretty pussy?" Jongho asked, looking up at you through dark eyelashes as he circled his tongue against you. "I could kiss this pretty pussy all day long, but I don't think you can wait anymore."

You bit your lip hard at the words and glanced behind you to see Jongho pumping his thick member with his hand, still holding you in place with his other arm. "Please..." you murmured.

With a pleased groan, he helped turn you back around, moving both of you until he was positioned on top, spreading you wide apart and nudging his tip against your swollen entrance.

"Stop teasing me," you whined, the sight of his twitching length inches from where you needed it made you a bit crazy. Jongho chuckled lightly and captured your lips as he slowly pushed himself in.

You could not stop the moan that escaped your lips the second Jongho was balls-deep inside your pussy, your arms flying around his neck, clinging on tightly. He fit inside you so well, filling you up in every conceivable way, the tip of his cock hitting every hidden part of you.

His lips travelled along your neck and collar, sucking and kissing the soft flesh. Your mouth was still agape, hanging low with no sound, only letting out little gasps as his tip brushed past the deepest part of you, sending warmth radiating throughout every nerve-ending. 

"My beautiful baby.." Jongho hummed, pulling out gently before pounding into you, one strong arm wrapping around your hips and lifting them so he could pound against a different spot deep within you.

Suddenly it seemed to you as if Jongho's tip were brushing over your clit each time it pulled back before sliding deep into your entrance.

You gripped him tighter as his hips moved back and forth. Before you knew it, Jongho's name tumbled out of your lips as he hit a soft spot of yours. 

"Jonghooo..." you moaned, losing your mind.

"Gonna fill your pussy up with my cum...make you take it..." Jongho growled, snapping his hips up again with more force. 

"Wanna give you my kids. Would you like that? Add another to our family?" He groaned against your neck, squeezing your ass, then swatting it.

He pushed himself in as far as he could, biting your earlobe as his member twitched inside of you, "Tell me, baby. Do you like being a mommy to me and my twins, and being my pretty wife? Don't want anyone else...only my baby. I love you so much. You and my girls..."

"I love you and the girls too, Jongho. So, so much." You respond, feeling the tell-tale signs of the pleasure building deep within.

"Do you want to cum, my love? Gonna take every drop of daddy's cum inside?" he moaned into your ear. His husky voice was so hot, and the feeling of him, pressed into you, so unbelievably warm and powerful, caused your body to tense, and then go limp under his strong hands. "Want to give you a baby too, sweetheart. I'm ready for another set of twins, and another set after that, if I'm blessed with it."

And when Jongho slid his tip between your sensitive folds, hitting every raw spot he could as your body shook, that was it. The walls of your pussy contracted against him, a gush of his cum emptied inside of you, making its way to your awaiting womb, hoping for it to take seed and create more lives. You moaned and threw your head back, thrusting your hips upwards to meet his one final time.

Jongho grunted into your shoulder as he fucked his load into you, cumming as deep inside you as he could possibly go and taking deep breaths.

You wrap your legs around his waist, locking him against you and pushing his cock to the hilt inside your dripping walls, not willing to let a single drop escape. His pulsing cock makes your core pulse. The two of you stay as still as possible as you catch your breath, Jongho breathing hot air down your chest.

"Don't you dare pull out yet, Choi Jongho," you ordered firmly. You needed him close, wanted him near you. Jongho smiled up at you.

"Is that what you want?"

"Mmmmhhmmm..." you moan, and wiggle your hips to make his cock stir your insides. Jongho moaned back into the mattress and grabbed your waist tightly. You squeal in delight at his sudden movement, then press your lips firmly against his, claiming him as your own.

"Y/N...would you marry me?" Jongho asked softly a few minutes later, as he propped up on his left elbow and looked deeply into your eyes, stroking your hair gently. "Officially be the girls' mother and my wife? I was hoping..." 

He reached down beneath the pillows, and pulled something from underneath it. He looked shy as he revealed a black velvet box in the palm of his hand, holding it out towards you. "Would you, please?"

"Yes, Jongho." You say in response, watching him open the small, velvet box. Jongho exhales and a smile appears on his handsome features as he pulls the ring out of its housing, sliding the metal band on your ring finger of your left hand. "Absolutely yes."

It fit perfectly.

He crushed his lips to yours and you sighed into the passionate kiss, running your hands through his hair as his tongue pressed inside. It felt good, almost too good, but he pulled away and laid back on the bed. 

After a while of cuddling, kissing, and playing with his hair, Jongho buried his head in the crook of you neck. "I think we should clean the sheets, shower and just cuddle..." He said quietly. "I have a feeling that the girls will barge in once they're awake and we don't need them seeing this mess or smelling the room."

You hum in agreement. You and Jongho kiss softly, barely audible 'I love you's' being whispered between the two of you, your fingers running through his silky strands. You love this. You're so in love and you can't imagine not being with Jongho, and you truly love and adore his two girls.

After getting the room and the two of you cleaned, and the sheets changed and clothes pulled back on, the two of you laid comfortably in  bed in each other's arms.

Jongho turned so that he was hovering over you, one hand propping him up, the other lightly caressing your cheek and thumb tracing your bottom lip. He lowered his head and brushed his nose against yours, lightly pressing his lips against yours. He pulled away to see your cheeks a rosy tint of pink. He leaned his forehead on yours and chuckled. He went back in to continue kissing you.

The door flew open and the bed dipped as two weights jumped onto the end of the bed. Jongho rolled over, the twins landing in the bed, bouncing with their jump, laughing loudly. Joomi moved to sit on your lap, and Jooeun did the same with her dad.

"How was your nap?" You asked the girls, hearing the loud screams of the other children and their parents somewhere in the cabin.

"Good but we're hungry and Uncle Joong told us to wake you up for lunch, so we did! But we didn't run here. We walked." Joomi said.

"Yes," Jooeun agrees.

"Are you sure you walked or ran? I heard some feet scampering down the hall when I woke up," you smirked and booped their noses. They giggled.

"Y/N, are you and Daddy a couple now?" Joomi whispered in your ear. You heard Jooeun asking her dad the same thing.

You and Jongho both chanced a glance at the other before saying at the same time, "Are we?"

Jongho laughed before leaning in and giving you a small kiss on the lips. He also glanced at the girls who were jumping and cheering in your arms. "Why don’t we get you girls and Mommy something to eat?"

"I could hear them telling the other adults that their little plan worked." You whispered. The twins were talking your ears off, excited that you were going to be their new mother now that you and their daddy had finally gotten together.

"I love you." Jongho kissed you as the four of you walked together out to where the other adults were, to have their lunch.

"I love you, too." You kissed him back before kissing the top of the twins' heads. "And I love my new little girls so much."

The twins squealed and screamed louder, "Mommy, yay!" They both launched at you, hugging the life out of you.

"C'mon Mommy, lunch now!" Jooeun pulled you forward towards the table that had been set up for the lunch buffet style. Joomi held out her hands, palm open, to her dad. Jongho chuckled before interlacing his fingers with hers. The four of you walked towards the long table where the rest of your friends and the kids had already made their way to and piled their plates with their food, before sitting together and enjoying their food.

"Told you the plan would work!" The twins exclaimed, the adults laughing.

[kujakumai]

On the subject of being good with children, which characters do you think WOULD be good babysitters?

YUGIOH CHARACTERS AS BABYSITTERS, RANKED

TOP PICKS:

Seto Kaiba runs an entire company dedicated exclusively to safely entertaining children, and unless his parks are getting continually sued I believe he knows how. Your kindergartner is not only safe with him but will probably leave knowing how to play chess and write in C++. He may allow them to play with knives, but only if they're 9 or over, plus he has all the emergency numbers on speed-dial.

Hiroto Honda babysits his niblings on the regular. Can warm a bottle and change a diaper. A level-headed and practical guy. He’ll be fine as long as his friends don't drag him into a horrible game-themed deathtrap. Don't ask why that caveat exists.

Rishid Ishtar is safe, experienced, has dad energy, however he will crumple like wet paper at the first sign of conflict re: ice cream for dinner / no bedtime / blood-soaked cross-country quest for revenge / an extra episode of cartoons over the screentime limit.

Ishizu Ishtar would make a great babysitter. I don't really have a quirky joke here she just would.

"MAYBE"S

Jonouchi used to watch his little sister and I think he'll do about as well as any other teenager you're paying minimum wage, and with a lot of earnest enthusiasm. Your child will be fine at the end of the night, though they will probably have eaten some junk food and played a T rated videogame.

I do not think Atem would know what to do with a baby, and may panic about it, though if you have an older child he will be happy to offer a rousing speech and some deep-voiced mentorlike advice while teaching them to play board games. Not a bad choice, just try not to leave him with anyone under seven.

Yugi knows zilch about kids and often appears a little annoyed by them. Same general rules as Atem--do not leave him with a baby, but he'll probably just teach an older kid to play shogi or something.

Mai Kujaku will put the kid in front of the television and order pizza while she paints her nails. Honestly, though, what more are you paying her for?

Listen, I love Anzu. I do. She’s smart, driven, and big-hearted, but she is also sort of short-tempered and impatient, and patience is like 90% of child-rearing. Please do not ask Anzu Mazaki to watch your children. She WILL say yes because she needs the money, and she WILL go into it with optimism and gumption, and yes, both she and your child will both be in one piece at the end of the night, but it will be clear from both of their frazzled expressions that she lost most of her sanity an hour in after the fifth "Why?"

DEFINITELY NOT

Ryou Bakura would in theory be a perfectly good, if kind of spacey, babysitter, but you cannot trust him to remain Ryou Bakura, and the other guy is definitely not someone you want anywhere near your children.

I don't think Marik Ishtar has ever interacted with a child for very long and the number of people he talks to that are even his own age is in the single digits. And he is definitely not getting spat on or dealing with any bathroom stuff. I'm not saying he can't figure it out but the learning curve is going to be steep.

I have to put Yami Bakura here in principle and yet for some reason I think it wouldn't go that bad? I mean he definitely doesn't care about the safety of your child. And he may enlist them to the armies of darkness. And he's not cleaning anything up. But he's like, a weird socially awkward over-the-top guy? And children love those? Honestly I think they would both have fun. For at least an hour until everything goes horribly wrong.

Please do not summon Zork Necrophades to babysit your child.

[bratzforchris]

The Joker and The Queen-J.G. ·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:·

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*

Summary: In which Johnnie is convinced you would be better off with a mortal boyfriend, only for you to remind him that it isn't worldly things that please you. Loosely based off The Joker and The Queen by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran <3

Pairing: Vampire!Johnnie x feminine human!reader

Warnings: Smut, unprotected p in v, rough sex, missionary, marking, making out, creampie, emotional scenes, no aftercare scene

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: This is Pt. 2 to the vampire!Johnnie fic I posted a little while ago--you don't have to read Pt. 1, but I do recommend it! Also, I love this song so much. It reminds me of Johnnie so bad :')

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*

You had never believed in the supernatural or urban myths and legends. However, all that had changed three months ago when you’d met Johnnie. Somehow, in some strange turn of events, you’d met an actual vampire. In the world of vampires, each one had their soulmate, whether the other person be a mortal or another vampire. And so, only three months later, you and Johnnie were dating. Because of the soulmate tie, you two were much more intertwined than most couples were at this stage, but you didn’t mind it. 

Since being together, you had aided Johnnie in the repair of his once beautiful Harbordale Manor, turning it from disrepair to the glory it once was. The mansion was nowhere near as full of life and splendor as it once had been, simply due to the nature of keeping who and what Johnnie was a secret, but you didn’t mind. You were still able to attend your university classes, while living with your lover, your best friend Tara, and her boyfriend, Jake, who just happened to be a werewolf and Johnnie’s best friend. In your book, that was perfect. Though your small ‘found family’ was odd and rather creepy by societal standards, it was perfect to you. 

But even with all your confirmation of the life you were loving, Johnnie still worried about you. You were the sunshine to his darkness. He wasn’t always the good man you thought he was. His hands were stained with blood, while you were the purest soul he had ever known. 

“Y/N?” he asked as you two laid in your enormous canopy bed one evening. “Are you happy, my dear?”

“Of course I am!” You smiled. “Why do you ask?”

“I just worry for you, baby bat,” Johnnie mumbled, swiping a cold thumb across your cheek. “I’m worried you think I’m someone I’m not.”

“What do you mean?” You asked him, cocking your head. 

“You are perfect. You are innocent and kind and light. You’re what I’m not. I am a killer, Y/N.” Johnnie was beginning to grow frustrated at you not realizing who he truly was. 

“You couldn’t help it,” You insisted. “You were an innocent kid who went through an insane amount of trauma and you didn’t know any better than to feed on humans. You don’t do that now, my love. You’re perfectly okay.”

“I make you live here,” Johnnie said regretfully. “You should be out enjoying your life. You could have anyone else, blood flower. Someone that could give you everything you desire. You could have a king to your queen instead of a joker.”

Though Johnnie had lived to see modern times, he had been raised in a different time. He lived secluded, stuck in a past that wasn’t there anymore. His words were formal, but you could hear the hurt in his voice as he preached ideas he truly believed. 

“What if I don’t want that?” You asked, eyeing him. “I don’t need money, or fancy gestures, or whatever else you think a perfect man does. I need someone who shows they love me, and you do that, Johnnie. Vampire or not, I would love you either way,” You explained softly, kissing his cheek. When Johnnie didn’t respond, watching you with curious eyes, you continued. “I’ve been hurt before by men. Many times, actually. Rich human men at that.”

You moved into Johnnie’s lap, sitting so that you were facing him. You trailed a finger across his strong, clear cut jaw, feeling the smooth, cool texture that resembled stone against your own skin. Once you got to his plump lips, you planted a kiss on them before speaking. “Show me your fangs.” You commanded softly. 

Johnnie opened his mouth as asked, allowing his normally smaller fangs to grow to a healthy three inches. You went to trace the white points until your boyfriend grabbed your wrist, a dark glare in his eyes. 

“Don’t,” he bit out. “You’re playing a dangerous game.”

You and Johnnie both knew that his fangs held venom, and if you were to cut your finger by accident, there would be no choice but for him to change you or leave you for dead. “What if I wanted to be changed?” You asked. 

“I’m not doing that, baby bat. Not yet. You still have a life to live.” Johnnie seemed to soften, a regretful look on his face. 

He wanted to change you. He really, really did. But he knew that once he did so, you were bound to the immortal life, forever the age you were now. He didn’t want that for you yet. You needed to live first. You ignored his words, beginning to kiss and make out with him. Despite his cold skin, Johnnie’s mouth was warm and tasted like sin and heaven mixed together. You ran your tongue across his fangs as a soft ‘hello’, until your lover grabbed your hips, causing you to moan softly. 

“I want you to show me, Johnnie,” You said lustfully. “Show me that those other men don’t matter. That you’re the one I need,” You were beginning to grow warm with arousal as you felt Johnnie’s dick harden beneath you. “Show me I’m your queen.”

“You really want that?” he asked, raising a brow as a smirk grew on his face. “You want me to make you mine? Show you what it feels like to be fucked by a vampire?”

You nodded eagerly, smashing your lips to Johnnie’s once more as he grabbed your hips, flipping so that he was now on top of you. He used his fangs to rip your shirt off in one smooth motion, smirking hungrily at your breasts. Before you knew it, Johnnie was beginning to leave hickeys all over your body, marking every curve of your skin with his print. You moaned at the sensations alighting all over your body, making your nipples pebble into hard points. 

“Johnnie,” You whimpered, hands moving to tangle in his raven hair. “I need you.”

The vampire took that as consent for him to practically rip the small shorts and panties you were wearing off. He could smell your blood through the rhythm of your pulse, and part of him wanted to take you so bad and change you into something equally as sinful as he was. Johnnie knew he couldn’t do that yet, so he opted to flick his tongue over your pubic bone and graze his fangs across your slit. 

“You’re soaked for me, blood flower.” Johnnie grumbled, licking his lips. 

“I…” You panted, already close to climaxing and your boyfriend had barely touched you. “I need you inside of me.”

Johnnie wasted no time in taking off his pants and black, button up shirt. Without another warning for you, he immediately slammed his full length into you, pounding out a furious rhythm. You groaned with pleasure at the feeling of being suddenly so full, and you moved your hands from his hair to his back, clawing him with pleasure at the sensations you were feeling. 

“Oh my god, right there, Johnnie.” You whined and whimpered when he hit a particularly sensitive spot. 

“You gonna cum, baby bat?” Your boyfriend asked you, swiping a strand of hair from your face as his own black fringe stuck to his forehead. 

You nodded and whimpered, arching your back as you desperately tried for more. Johnnie continued to pound into you, until he gave you a look that you knew meant he was close to his own orgasm. 

“On the count of three, you’re gonna cum with me, love,” Johnnie commanded. “1, 2, 3…” 

On the last number, your boyfriend immediately released his load into you, throwing his head back with a beautiful moan at the feelings taking over his own body. You also went through your own climax, whimpering and squealing as your heat clenched.  Johnnie’s sex was unlike anything you had ever experienced before; it was rough and raw and straight up fucking, but it also held a sensual, passionate note beneath the surface. 

Johnnie pulled out of you, licking his fangs with a smirk. “Did that prove it to you? Or should I go suck the fucking life out of another man who even dares to look at you?”

Over the course of your sex, Johnnie had become dominant and possessive, taking you as his own, and showing you what he was at his core: a predator. You didn’t seem to care though, for you rolled on top of him on your sweaty sheets, peppering kisses across his face. 

“I don’t want a king, or a castle, or anything else,” You told him. “I want you, Johnnie. Forever.”

tags ♡: @aemrsy @jake-and-johnnies-slut @oobleoob @idek3000hi @melguilbert

note ♡: if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here <3

[just-wrting]

Feeling Fangs Part 3

Title: Feeling Fangs Part 3

Pairing: Charlotte Katakuri x Wife!Reader 18+

Word Count: 5.2k

Master List Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Summary: You and Katakuri end up saying, and doing, what’s on your minds.

A/N: I thought about not putting smut in this, but since I had originally planned the trilogy with it getting smuttier as it went on, I kept it. I don’t think there will be a part 4 unless people want one, but there might be little add ons of things I wanted to put in but didn’t.

You look at the boxes with suspicion. After opening them, you decided to study what was in the boxes, looking for clues. It took some time taking each box apart, laying each piece in a vertical line on the dresser. There isn't anything else in the box, just the dainty jewelry.

You pick up the necklace and watch as the chain slips through your fingers with ease. The color suits you perfectly, it's something you would buy for yourself if you had the money. It's clearly expensive, the card in the box labels the gemstone as authentic. Whoever bought it must be fine with spending such a large quantity of berries on you.

You place the necklace back in the box. Nothing appears out of place with any of it so maybe you should wear it, but you can't bring yourself to do that without knowing who it's from. Should you try hunting down the jeweler and asking who bought them? It's a terrible idea, though slightly tempting.

Sighing, you put the boxes back together. There's no point in thinking too hard about it since your husband knows who gave these to you. You debate on the idea of it being a gift from him. As unlikely as it seems, part of you wants them to be from him. Even if you'll feel guilty for not realizing sooner.

Sitting on the edge of the bed, you think back to what proper conversations you've actually had with him. He's always been polite and attentive when you talk, never really pushing for more than you give. It made sense that you opened up to him. Not to mention he's always been attractive.

The guilt starts to creep in the more you think about it. Was he just being nice since you were forced to get married or was it something more? What about all the times that he checked up on you like the time you went to your father's funeral and got attacked? Did he have feelings for you or was he trying to make the most of the situation?

You fall back into the covers, curling into a ball. Thinking about this makes your chest hurt in ways you didn't think you'd ever feel. It's your fault he's stuck with you and he's been doing his best to deal with it. Meanwhile, you sometimes sit around and feel a bit sorry for yourself that you got caught up in an arranged marriage because of your father. You wouldn't change who you're married to anymore, but that doesn't change the feelings you've had in the past.

Shoving your head into the pile of pillows, you try to stop thinking about it. Nothing's going to get resolved by feeling bad all alone. You need to wait until you can talk to Katakuri about it before you can deal with these feelings. Even if it's confusing and frustrating. Even if you'd rather pretend like these feelings don't exist.

The door clicks as it opens and you groan. It's probably just someone else here to bother you as it has been for the past few days. You wish people would stop bothering you with ridiculous things like asking you to have your husband show up at certain things so they can be happy. Why can't they just leave him alone?

Pulling the pillow from your head, Katakuri looks down at you. You smile softly, reaching out for him.

"Come here," you mumble. "I missed you."

His gaze softens as lays down next to you. Reaching up to touch his face, you gently squish his cheeks making sure he's real. After a few pinches, he grabs your wrist and presses a kiss to your knuckles.

"There's no need for that," he scolds. "I am very much real."

You place your head against his chest, listening to his heart beat. "But I missed you. I just want to know that you're really here with me."

"I promised to come back, why would I leave you?"

You close your eyes as he starts to comb his fingers through your hair. "Because you're just stuck with me. I was scared of being hurt so you had to marry me of all people. You never had a choice in the matter, I'm sorry."

"Do you regret it?" His voice is soft, and you know that he might break depending on your answer. "If you weren't forced to marry into my family would you be happier?"

"I don't think so. Being here with you is the happiest I think I've ever been, so why would I want to be somewhere else?" You start to rub your thumb across his cheek. "I think you're perfect."

"Even though I'm not?"

You let out a laugh. "Katakuri, what do you think of me? Just this once, tell me your honest opinion of me."

"I-" he clears his throat. "I think you're perfect as you are."

You poke him. "But I'm not perfect. I'm not strong or capable of things nor do I have a lot of money or agency. I worry about a lot of things, I have terrible habits, not to mention we've barely started acting like we're married."

"That doesn't matter to me. I'm strong enough to protect you." He's earnest, like he's managed to get your point. "You don't need to worry."

"That's not my point, Katakuri," you laugh. "My point is that I'm not perfect, but you don't care. So it works both ways. You may not be truly perfect but you're perfect to me."

His eyebrows furrow for just a moment. "I love you just how you are."

"Huh?" You tilt your head back to look at him.

"I should change, I have blood on my clothes."

He gets up abruptly, making your head spin. Maybe you imagined what he had said, but the change in his demeanor leaves you questioning. What's the rush to get clean when he was just laying in the bed?

"If you say so..." you mumble to the air. "Though I'm not sure what the rush is."

You sit up and stare at the bathroom door. There's nothing better to do than wait for him to get back. Confronting him about it seems unfair, so maybe you should do something to put him at ease. You're not sure what would be best.

Thankfully he doesn’t take long, the door opening to reveal him wearing a fresh pair of leather pants. All of the extra spikey bits have been removed, meaning he won’t tear the sheets this time. It’s nice to see him just a little bit more casual, and you do your best to not stare at him. Not that staring at him would be weird, you are married after all.

“I think it would be nice to see you in other clothes sometime,” you say awkwardly trying to start a conversation. “Not that there’s anything wrong with what you wear now.”

“Like what?” His question seems genuinely curious.

Your face flushes in embarrassment. “I’m not sure, I didn’t think before I said that.”

Katakuri chuckles as he lays back down beside you. He pulls you close as you continue to ramble.

“To be fair, you’re really attractive so you’d probably look good in everything. Maybe you should try something that’s popular? Not that I know what’s popular. And like I said I think you like nice in what you currently wear, it would just be a nice change of pace.”

He starts to play with your hair again, just nodding and humming when he thinks he should respond. You feel more foolish with every word, but you can’t really stop yourself from talking.

“Maybe something formal? I recall that you didn’t wear a suit to our wedding which was unfortunate. I get that it was a bit rushed, but I would’ve like to see that.”

The soft smile doesn’t fade from his lips as he muses. “You sound like you wish to dress me up. Are you unhappy that I wear the same thing?”

“Not at all! I never thought I’d like someone with your type of aesthetic, but I don’t mind it. To be fair I never thought I’d be happily married to a pirate, but here I am. I suppose it helps that Ive fallen in love with you.”

Katakuri goes still. “What did you say?”

You process what you just said and turn away from him. Your body feels like it’s on fire from embarrassment. How could you just spit that out so casually? Was your mind truly not there anymore as you rambled on?

“D-don’t make me repeat it! If you heard me say it once that should be good enough.”

“Even if I want to hear you say it?” he asks, turning your head to face him.

Upon seeing the flush in his cheeks, you get the urge to tease him again. “I love you. Is that what you wanted to hear me say?”

Katakuri looks away and gives a small nod. He’s really flushed for a man who said ‘I love you’ first.

“I love you, Katakuri,” you say with a grin. “I love you a lot. I love a lot about you. Do you want me to tell you what I love about you?”

You watch as he gets even redder. He’s adorable like this, and you really enjoy making him flustered. There’s something so sweet about him getting red and embarrassed when you compliment him or kiss him.

“I love that you’re so cute like this. I love when you-”

He presses his lips to yours, silencing you with a kiss. It’s frantic and warm, leaving you wanting more. You reach up to pull him in for more, when he pulls back.

“Don’t tease me.” His voice is stern, but it doesn’t work on you, not when he’s this flustered.

“Or what? You’ll kiss me again? Maybe I want you to kiss me more.” Your voice is gentle. “I really enjoy kissing you.”

“Then I won’t do that.”

You stroke his cheek. “Then you’ll bite me?”

Katakuri gives you a pathetic attempt at a scowl. “No, you’d like that too much.”

Pretending to pout, you lean in to try and get a kiss. “So? I just like you, that’s all.”

He pulls you into his chest, and you listen to how fast his heart is beating. If it was beating any faster, you’re sure his heart would burst from his chest. Just from listening, you start to get flustered and wonder if your heart is beating just as fast.

“Is my heart beating as fast as yours?”

Katakuri looks down at you briefly before closing his eyes. “How would I know, do you expect me to check?”

“You could put your head on my chest and listen. Don’t you want to see if I’m embarrassed?”

You don’t need him to tell you that you are. You can already tell that you’re embarrassed. The only reason you can keep saying things like this is because you really just want to see more of the cute flustered side of him. He’s absolutely adorable like this, and it melts your heart each time.

He doesn’t answer but twists until he’s able to rest his head on your chest. The two of you have never cuddled like this, but it’s far more comfortable than you thought it would be. He’s the world’s prettiest weighted blanket, and you feel your worries melt away. You’ll make sure to do this more often, seeing as it’s so comforting. Though to be fair, just sleeping next to him is comforting.

You gently comb his hair, scratching at his scalp. There’s no sound from him, but he buries his head further in your chest. It’s like you’re nothing more than a pillow, and you chuckle at the thought. You realize he’s asleep when you do as he makes no movement to get you to stop.

Wondering what could’ve made him this tired, you softly tell him all the little things you like about him. Very little makes him exert a lot of energy, so he must’ve chosen to skip sleeping. Did he power through without sleep so he could come back sooner?

As you think, you let your eyes shut. You find yourself losing the battle against sleep due to being warm and comfortable. You couldn’t even move if you wanted to.

—-

You wake up to an empty room, the clock reading four in the morning. Whatever he went to go do must’ve been important, as there’s no note. Normally there is one, tucked under a fresh bag of berries. Today, there’s nothing on the nightstand. Maybe it’s a sign he’ll be back sooner than you expect, but that’s not always the case. Sometimes something urgent came up.

You decide to finally go through your clothes. It feels impossible to have accumulated this many clothes, but somehow you have. No matter how hard you think, you can only recall buying two or three things, so how did it pile up this much?

Unable to remember which section you put all the stuff that didn’t fit in, you resign yourself to trying everything on. Anything that doesn’t fit or looks bad on you will get tossed. You faintly remember seeing a secondhand store, so you’ll just put everything to the side and double check. Better for it to go to someone else considering some of it still has the tags on it.

As you struggle getting into a dress, you try to remember how you even got it. It couldn’t have been a gift, you don’t get many of those, but it’s not something you’d willingly pick out and buy. That when it hits you, almost literally. The price tag swings from the sleeve, boasting a hefty price. The shopkeeper must’ve made you try it on after noticing that your husband was buying you everything you tried on. How much money has this man spent on you?

As you toss it into the pile, you think back to the handful of times you’ve gone shopping with Katakuri. He’d pay for everything, buying you almost anything you looked at. Sometimes it was nice to get something you wanted, but clearly most of it just sits around wasting space. You’ll have a talk with him about his spending habits, but maybe you should try to sell some of this instead. Your mind spins at the thought of adding all the tags up.

Both breakfast and lunch come and go without any sign of his return. By now, you’ve tried on most of your clothes and emptied your closet quite a bit. Almost everything you brought with you from three years ago doesn’t fit, but that’s not really a surprise. Dessert is served with every meal including tea time, so it’s hard to stay away from the sweets. Not only that, but it has been three years and a lot changes during that time.

You’re left with the things you wear all the time such as the clothes that have become your style and pajamas, along with a few fancier clothes for important occasions. Nothing more than what you need honestly, and it feels so good to be free from the things you hated seeing in the closet. The only thing left for you to deal with are two elegant cream color boxes that you had shoved in the back. You know what they are, you’ve just never opened them.

The delicate ribbon slides away with a single tug, and you hesitate as you grip the lid. These are from your old friend, one sent for your wedding gift and the other for your two year anniversary. With any luck, she’ll send you another box in about four months. You only know what’s in them from the letter that was attached to each one.

Deciding that you can’t torture yourself with the apprehension, you rip the top of the box off and look inside. For something that’s been sitting in a box for years, it looks perfect. The color matches your eyes, and you hate to admit that you kind of want to try it on. You know it’ll flatter you, it’s something that looks good on all who wear it.

Holding it up to your body in the mirror, you feel your face flush. It may not be the most exposing thing you’ve ever seen, but it would be the most exposing thing you’ve worn. You can’t even remember the last time you wore a swimsuit, let alone lingerie.

The fabric is soft and slips on easily. It stretches, and somehow fits your proportions even after almost two years in the box. It’s surprisingly cute, and you hate that you feel that way. You know that she sent these to make you flustered, actually feeling that way is just letting her win. After all, she did suggest making the most out of being married to a pirate by getting as much money as you could, even telling you that you’re attractive enough to get it through your looks. Not that you ever felt the need to try, you’ve been spoiled without ever asking.

You give it a little spin in the mirror, before you start to feel silly. Why are you even flustered? You’re all alone in the room, and you have no real intention of wearing them for Katakuri. Not that you wouldn’t pay to see how flustered he gets, but you wouldn’t be able to look at him. All you are doing is finally seeing what ridiculous things your friend made and sent you. After you try them on, you’ll put them back in the box and shove them back into the dark where you’ll pretend they don’t exist.

Opening the other box reveals something that is somehow even more risqué than what you’ve currently got on. Most of the material is mesh and lace, with the most covering coming from a short zipper in the back. Just looking at it makes you feel like a pervert, and you hesitate after taking it from the box. Maybe this one should just get thrown into the fireplace and then you’ll be free.

With a sigh, you swap your outfit, struggling with the zipper. After what feels like an eternity that has your arms burning, you finally feel it go all the way up. You clasp the little hook at the very top to keep it together, and a sense of accomplishment flows through you. You managed to put it on and at least you can say you wore it.

Looking in the mirror, you realize that it shows more than you originally thought, and you grab your robe. The closer the robe is to you, the less you’ll have to explain if someone forgets to knock. This is the only time you’ll be grateful that your door is loud when it opens. At least you’ll have a split second to cover up.

You reach behind you, ready to take it off. The clasp takes a lot more finagling than you’d like, but eventually slips loose. You roll your shoulders as they burn with lack of use, waiting for them to stop hurting so you can get the zipper. Unfortunately, luck isn’t on your side, as the zipper refuses to go down.

Struggling to reach it, you try to look in the mirror to see why. The angle doesn’t help, as your hands and arms just block your view. Sweat beads on your forehead as you squirm. After a moment, you give up. You can’t reach the zipper, so you’ll just have to find a pair of scissors and cut it off.

As you pull open a drawer, you hear the click of the door. Scrambling for cover, you crouch behind the bed and peer over. You don’t want anyone to be entering the room, and you squeak when you see that Katakuri has come back. Of all the times to show back up, he picked now?

“Why are you hiding?” he asks, closing the door behind him.

Your face flushes even more than you thought possible. “I’m not hiding! I slipped so I’m resting.”

“Rest on the bed.”

“No. I’m fine on the floor.”

He starts to walk towards you, clearly unhappy. “Can you not get onto the bed? Let me help you.”

“No! Don’t move!” You hold out your hand. “Don’t come closer.”

“So you are hiding something.” His eyes narrow.

You break eye contact. “No, I’m not. The zipper broke.”

“What zipper?”

“The one on my clothes!” You gesture towards the closet. “I just don’t want you to see what I’m wearing.”

Katakuri pauses. “Do you really think it looks that bad?”

Finally giving up, you stand. “I don’t know!”

There’s a moment of silence as you try to not curl into a ball and disappear. How dare he come back and see you like this? It’s mortifying! Even if you’re married, it’s still something new to both of you.

“I’ll give you some privacy,” he chokes out, reaching for the door.

You cover yourself with your arms. “That just makes it weird! What are you going to say when someone asks why you aren’t in here? ‘Oh I saw my wife changing, I can’t see that.’ It’s weird.”

He refuses to look at you as you gesture around in confusion. “I suppose you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right. We’re supposed to married, it’d be weird if you haven’t see me naked. Help me with the zipper.”

“What if I can’t get it? Then what?” He looks at you, but doesn’t meet your eyes.

You rub your arm, feeling self conscious. “I guess I can just cut it off. That probably easier than having you rip it.”

The two of you stand there, not meeting each other’s eyes. The tension in the room is thick, and you really wish you could disappear. You can’t tell what he’s thinking, and for once it’s bothering you. You wish he’d say or do something, anything. All you feel is embarrassed and foolish.

You slowly make your way around the bed, hugging yourself like you’re cold. It would be a lie to say you hadn’t thought of him seeing stuff like this, you just hadn’t imagined he’d just stand there like he was startled. Though you aren’t entirely sure what you had imagined happening in a situation similar to this.

Suddenly, you feel your feet leave the floor. Your back hits Katakuri’s chest as he sits you in his lap. The contact of his skin makes you burn up, and each breath you take is shallow. You feel like you might pass out from how nervous you are, and the way he’s holding you doesn’t help.

“So I can rip this off you?” His voice is low. “You won’t mind that?”

“I-I,” you stammer, unable to get any thought to form. “No? I mean, yes. I mean-”

The kisses on your neck are gentle as you string together random thoughts. You’ve lost all ability to think properly, your mind following instinct instead. Covering your mouth, you try not to whine as he touches your bare skin.

“You’re so pretty,” he says through kisses. “My pretty little wife.”

Katakuri’s fingers grip tightly onto your thighs, as he holds himself back. Each kiss brushes your skin softly, barely applying any pressure. Not that he needs to apply any pressure to set your skin on fire.

“P-please,” you whine. “Please help me. I need you, Katakuri.”

His fingers slide up to your cunt and slowly start to rub through your clothes. The thin mesh doesn’t dampen any of the sensation, and you let out a groan at the feeling. It doesn’t take long for you start subconsciously rolling your hips. You never realized just how badly you wanted him, but it shows now.

Despite your muffled please for more, his touch remains slow. It feels like he’s exploring your body, his other hand reaching up and squeezing your breasts. It’s an agonizing pace, slow and steady. If you weren’t so desperate, you wouldn’t mind, but right now you need him.

You gasp as gently nips the pulse point on your neck, his fangs not breaking the skin but leaving goosebumps across it. Refusing to move your hands from your mouth, you let every little sound tumble into your palm and hope he doesn’t hear. This clearly frustrates him, as after a few moments, he pins your wrists behind your back.

“Don’t hide from me,” Katakuri pleads. “I need to hear you.”

You hear the sound of mesh ripping as he pulls it to the side, stroking a finger through your folds. Each time he circles your clit, you let out a whimper. It’s a dizzying combination as he gently fondles your breasts and kisses all over your neck all while playing with your cunt. You know he’s watching you intently, studying every reaction to see what makes you feel best.

Unable to control your breathing, you lean your head back as your chest heaves. You can’t even focus on trying to steady it as he pushes a finger inside. The thought of ruining his gloves makes you feel dirty, but if he knows that he’s ruining them, he doesn’t care. Even the sound of him fingering you is lewd, but you’ve practically lost the ability to feel ashamed

You should’ve realized sooner just how large he actually is. Just the feeling of his finger is more than you’ve ever thought to try, each time he pushes it in, you feel fuller than ever before. Within seconds, you feel the tension in your core grow and threaten to snap.

“So pretty, such a pretty wife,” Katakuri praises. “So perfect.”

At the sound of his praise, you feel yourself come undone. Your body tenses and shakes as you cum, uncontrollably moaning as you do. There’s no stop to his pace as you climax, leading you to squirm and whine.

You watch as he makes another arm to hold your hips in place, continuing to finger you. At some point, you loose track of how long you’re like this, sitting in his lap while he explores every part of you. It’s almost relentless as he touches every single sensitive spot. You can’t even keep track of how many times you reach climax, just knowing that you’re absolutely soaked now.

“Katakuri, please,” you moan. “Too much, just please…”

He kisses you jaw. “Please what? What do you want me to do?”

“Please be gentle. You’re so big.” You look at him through half lidded eyes. “I want you to try.”

Something inside him snaps, and his eyes darken. With one swift motion, your face is buried in the sheets, and you can feel him grind against your ass. You whine as he grips your hair tightly, your body protesting the change in position. It’s only for a split second, before he loosens his grip trying to have some control over himself.

It no longer matters as you feel him line his tip up with your entrance. He pushes in slowly, stopping every time you grip the sheets tightly and whine. You already know it’s not all going to fit, but that’s not stopping him from trying. Grateful for the warm up, you’re surprised that it doesn’t hurt as much as you were worried about.

Once you can’t take anymore, the two of you stay still. You pant for air, desperate to regain some sense of control over your mind. Even though you know it’s futile and as soon as he starts moving your brain will go back to mush. It doesn’t really matter, you feel so good you couldn’t care less how lewd you’re being.

Katakuri waits for some sort of signal that you can keep going, so as soon as you do your best to look back at him with pleading eyes, he starts to move. It’s the same slow pace as before, but this time you don’t mind. Every time he pulls out, you feel so empty before he pushes right back in. You feel warm and tingly, each thrust going deeper than you even realized it could.

You close your eyes and relax, letting him have full control over how you move. It doesn’t take long for him to pick up the pace thrusting into you at a speed you’d never be able to do on your own. Moaning and panting, you grip the sheets tightly as your over sensitivity brings you to an orgasm faster than you expected.

His pace is unrelenting, not giving you a second to recover. By now, you’re drooling into the sheets, unable to close your mouth and stop moaning. There hasn’t been a time that you’ve felt this good, unable to reach or do some of the things he’s been doing.

Your walls ache from the amount of times you’ve cum, and it’s almost getting painful. Despite the amount of fluid dripping from you, you can still feel everything. Each thrust hits your cervix, and causes you to moan louder.

After a few more thrusts, you feel his hand grip your hair tighter. You whine from the sensation, not fully realizing what’s happening or why he’s stopped. It’s not until he lets you go and pulls out that you realize that he finished. You don’t move, too sore to even attempt to. There’s a moment of nothing, before he scoops you up and takes you to the bathroom.

You lean against the cabinet, your eyes constantly falling shut as he draws a bath. Attempting to protest a bath, you mumble something but can’t even catch what you’re saying. That doesn’t faze him as he frowns slightly at you.

“I’ll bathe you, so you don’t have to worry,” Katakuri reassures you. “You’re sticky.”

You give a weak scowl and grumble. He doesn’t budge, but gives you a soft kiss.

“You can sleep after, I’ll even change the sheets if you’d like.”

You pout, but he ignores it. He’s gentle as he tears off the sweat soaked lingerie and pulls you into the tub. Steam billows from the surface and you protest against the heat. It feels like you might be boiling, but no amount of squirming gets you out of his arms.

The soap lathers easily and smells faintly floral, a nice change from all the sweet smelling things. You wince every time you’re moved, but it doesn’t get you out of the bath sooner. You wish it did, all you want is to fall asleep.

“Almost done. It goes faster if you don’t squirm.”

You put your head on his chest. “Tired.”

Katakuri traces your jaw before gently rubbing soap on your face. “Just a few more minutes.”

You stay still as he rises the soap from your body and pulls you out of the tub. The past twenty minutes passed in a haze, so you can’t recall if he even washed up, but you can tell he did since he’s still got soap on him. Every touch is gentle, like he’s worried about you breaking.

“You’re not gonna hurt me,” you mumble as you try to hold his hand. “I’m fine.”

Katakuri gives up on making sure you’re dry and picks you back up. You don’t even make it to the bed, passing out in his arms. Every part of you is exhausted, and there’s no where you’d rather be.

[bunkerjking]

The emotional breakdown later in the chapter will get most of the attention, but for my money, this is the most revealing moment in this week's chapter. A teenager so disconnected from his real emotions that he desperately rationalizes his hypersexuality not as a coping mechanism, but as 'this is what guys are like.'

It's easy to make fun of men for burying their emotions and then asking, 'why doesn't anyone know who I really am' - hell, Denji literally does that during the Bomb Girl arc - but Denji is a pretty direct criticism of both the way boys can get forced into unhealthy gender roles, and the way men self-regulate themselves and others into them.

The other boys Denji is with don't have the problem of being horny at inappropriate times. They have WAY bigger problems.

But Denji can't think properly when someone dangles the idea of sex in front of him. It's like a switch flips and he becomes a completely different person.

He shuts down and reverts to trying to embody masculine stereotypes he's been ingrained with, both through the social conditioning of growing up male in the 90s and the psychological conditioning Makima put him through to strengthen 'Chainsaw Man' - itself a hyper-masculine ideal that a human being physically cannot measure up to - and emotionally cripple Denji.

Denji is at his happiest when he's at rest with the people he loves. Power and Aki were not always easy to be around, but they loved him back and they wanted him to be happy. Nayuta is a child who doesn't understand her place in the world - how could she - but she earnestly wants to help her big brother as best as she can.

He isn't some cock-swinging alpha badass constantly on the prowl to crush puss, but for a lot of people - especially a teenager who was groomed to be an expendable child soldier - this unhealthy masculine 'ideal' isn't just something to live up to, it's the expected norm for men to be.

Being Chainsaw Man doesn't make Denji mentally stronger. As shown in the Falling Devil fight, he literally chops up his brain with his chainsaws to avoid confronting his trauma. Whenever he has to think about what he's lost and what's still left to lose, he runs toward something he isn't and away from a 'normal,' healthy response to the issues at hand.

"You stupid boy."

You'll notice that Katana Man, a perfect embodiment of an overly masculine dickhead, a misogynistic moron who refuses to grow in character or even basic combat skills, is totally on board for throwing Denji in a brothel and letting what happens happens. Katana Man perfectly represents the bad ending where 'traditional masculinity' wins the war for Denji's soul.

Denji needs help. Not some quick gratification. Not a meal and a nut and a nap. He needs genuine help, and a better male role model than the ones he's got. Even Kishibe, the only adult in his life other than Aki who actually did more good than harm, is an alcoholic recluse.

God help the boy.

[xhoneygirlxx]

i personally don't like when people buy me things. often times when someone gets me something i feel bad that they spent the money on me.

anyway here's a little thingy while i work on some writing :)

18+ minors go away

Eddie would be the kind of boyfriend who would buy you things, whether it was a small snack from the gas station or a brand new eye shadow palette you've been wanting for a while, and every single time you'd thank him followed up by a little chastising for spending money on you.

He's told you plenty of times before that he has the money, that he bought it because he wanted to and he likes to see you happy, so there is no reason for you to feel bad that he spend x amount of money on a little gift for you.

After a while he starts to realize that your little rant about his gifting isn't just about you worrying about his bank account but you simply don't think that you're worth it.

This gives the metalhead an idea, for every rant you give him about spending money on you he has to remind you why he does. So, the next time he brought home a little present for you and you reprimand him, he takes you straight into the bedroom where he pins you underneath him and shows you why he does what he does.

"You're so perfect, honey. Did'ya know that, hmm?" Eddie questions, his breath lingers hot and heavy on your neck.

You whine loudly, not just because of the compliment but because of the way he's driving his cock in and out of you so perfectly.

He pants heavily as he pulls back from his spot in the crook of your neck, arms steading him as he cages them by your head. Guitar pick necklace and dark curls dangle over your face, a greek god reincarnated right above you.

"Fuck, you're s'good baby. So fucking good f'me." He praises.

You keen into his sweet words, gripping around him tightly as his words edge you closer to the end.

"Feel s'good, Eds. Love how you feel." You're completely cock drunk, lost in the hazy cloud of euphoria.

A breathy chuckle escapes the kiss bitten lips of your boyfriend, enamored completely on the way he's got you. His rhythm picks up, hips snapping at a faster pace causing the squelch of your sopping cunt to be louder than before.

You're not sure what he does, whether he angles your legs higher to your chest or if he switches the way he fucks into you, all you know is he is now hitting deeper inside of you causing the air to be knocked out of your lungs.

You're a live wire, sparking and crackling ready to explode at any moment. He's everywhere, filling each of your senses, and you're not sure if it's heaven or hell and if this is how you were to go out, you'd be fine with where you ended up.

"S-shit, squeezin' me so tight," Eddie grits out, "You gonna cum, baby? Yeah, y'gonna cum all over my - fuck- all over my cock?"

At this point you're not sure if he's teasing you and quite frankly, you don't care if he was, all you care about is the string in you're belly that's ready to snap.

"Come on, sweetheart, cum f'me. Be the good girl you are and cum."

That's it, that's all you need to hear before you're finally pushed over the edge. You're back bows off the mattress, toes curling so tight you'll probably cramp up, and your eyes roll straight back into your head.

You release with a silent scream, an airy gasp followed by the oxygen being ripped from you. It's a big one, probably the biggest orgasm you've had in your life, and God does it feel good.

It feels like you've been pulled out of your body, floating straight into the clouds only to free fall at a slow speed. You always wondered what people meant when they said they were on cloud nine but now you know because you've seem to reach there in this moment.

It clearly was a big one because the moment you fall back to earth, Eddie already has you cleaned up and a cup of water waiting for you. He sits on the side of the bed, boxers haphazardly thrown on, as he pets the hair out of your face that clung on to the drying sweat.

"My sweet girl, you okay?" It comes out concerned yet not frantic enough to alarm you.

Words seem to be too much of an issue for you, tongue to heavy to move. Instead you resort to nodding your head, giving the best smile you can despite being completely drained of energy.

"Did I go too hard? Was it too much?" Big brown eyes study your face, afraid that you've been injured in some form.

You shake your head rapidly, "M'okay, Eds. It was perfect." Although your voice is hoarse, your eyes tell him all he needs to know. You're being honest.

Letting out a subtle sigh of relief, Eddie coax you to sit up as much as you can, putting the rim of the glass to your lips to encourage you to drink.

"My good girl, did so good f'me." He coos sweetly. Placing a soft kiss to your forehead, he places the glass on the bedside table before helping you lay back down.

Once you're settled back into bed, Eddie takes his spot next to you, pulling you into his chest to hold you. It's silent for a moment, a comforting calm after all that's happened. He lets you soak it up for a moment, allowing you to regain yourself before pushing you to say anything else.

"Thank you, Eds." It comes out muffled from where your face meets the skin of his chest, however he still hears it loud and clear.

It might not mean much to anyone else but to him, it means everything. Finally it's dawned on you that he doesn't just do the things he does because he he feels like he has to but simply because he wants to. It's not just about him fucking the absolute shit out of you but the fact that he took care of you right after, not because he has to or because you made him, it's because he did it out of the kindness of his heart.

You deserve nice things, whether it's a dollar bag of chips or a mind blowing night of sex followed by after care, Eddie does these things because he wants you to know he loves you and you deserve everything good in this world.

He lets these words soak into his skin, going straight into his veins and causing a heat to fill his body. You don't see it, not when you're eyelids are too heavy to open, but he's smiling. It's not a smile from winning a competition or contest, but a smile of pride. He has finally proven to you that you are worth kindness and thoughtful actions without any sort of rebuttle on your end.

"You're welcome, sweetheart. Now get some rest, it's been a long night."

His words seem to soothe you because not even a second later you're humming into his chest contently.

___

This sucks but I felt the need to share. Eddie Munson would 100 percent spoil his s/o and no one can convince me otherwise.

I hope you all enjoy this and if you find any sort of spelling/writing error, no you didn't :)

_ __

[t0rturedangel]

I read all of your fics so far and they're great!! I really like your writing, it's fantastic! :3 Could I request a fic for Lucifer with a reader who is anxious and depressed, like him? - 🐇

╭ . . . 𝚝𝚠𝚘 𝚙𝚎𝚊𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚙𝚘𝚍 ੭

𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑 𝐗 𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 ♰ ৎ﹕𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘸𝘰 𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘰𝘯𝘦 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘢𝘮𝘦

WOOOO I LOVE LUCIFER SM ITS NOT EVEN FUNNY so I'm so happy I have a request for him, i don't think i did a good job since I'm not sure how to write for stuff like this but still hope you like it!!!! also this is short so i'm sorry

✧⠀⨾ Mainly, since the two of you probably don't want to interact with the world of sinners, just stay in Lucifer's home.

✧⠀⨾ the two of you are probably coming up with new duck ideas, just the two of you- since literally no one else is welcome : the both of you hate interacting with anyone you don't have to, unless it's Charlie and her friends though that's rare

✧⠀⨾ whenever the two of you get like really anxious, or stare out the window in dread at all the sinners the other one will bring a duck over, like a personally made duck to try and help

✧⠀⨾ Lucifer has defiantly made a few ducks that look like you to try and help take your mind of your anxiety and focus on his craftmanship

જ⁀➴ Staring out of one of the many windows Lucifer had in his home, your eyes scanned over all the sinners and imps alike running around and causing havoc. Their behavior was one of the main reasons you and Lucifer never went out, beside the sheer anxiety of interacting with anyone. Sinners were crude, vulgar and had no respect for themselves or the people around them. At the thought of even talking to someone besides Lucifer caused your heart to speed up, your breathing quickening little by little which was your cue to turn from the window yet you found it difficult to do, the next option was to try and think of something different, anything different, like spending time with lucifer 

The isolation from the rest of hell wasn't bad at all, you had Lucifer, Lucifer had you and the two of you had ducks! dozens and dozens of ducks... it's almost concerning really- you and his would always spend your seemingly endless days in Lucifer's workshop for hours, always designing and creating these silly little duck toys, and while Lucifer would always bring himself down at the end of the completed project, saying how the parts that he worked on were terrible while simultaneously praising your side of the work- it was almost pitiful watching the king of hell say such things though you never indulged or agreed to his self-degradation, instead you attempted to bring his spirits back up by complementing his work. Though, your methods would only sometimes work, as at those times Lucifer would sort of- avoid listening to your words.

     Speaking of Lucifer, and the ducks- you noticed that Lucifer walked in the room you were resting in, a huge smile on his face as he held something behind his back. Your curiosity was peaked almost immediately, what did he have behind his back? was it money? food? a duck? the questions were endless and only came to a halt when Lucifer called to you. ˓˓ [name], my dearrr ʾʾ the tone of his voice perfectly matched his pale face, he was defiantly happy about something but what was it? finally, your mind was off of the outside world and now on lucifer and whatever he had behind his back  ˓˓ hm? ʾʾ was your reply- moving so you would be sitting at the edge of the window sill, your tail wrapping around the handle of the window to ensure that you wouldn't fall however you could only stay in that position for a little while as your dear Lucifer beckoned you down to which you happily obliged.

     Landing right by Lucifer, you and him both shared a smile- your one being more of a grateful smile as he did save you from your anxiety fueled thoughts. ˓˓ Hello Luci!.... what is that behind your back. ʾʾ at that question Lucifer smiled even more, chuckling to himself ˓˓ geeze aren't you curious today? ʾʾ he spoke while trying to hide what he had, you were trying to move around him so you could see what he had in his hands ˓˓ Just let me see for hell's sake ʾʾ you were determined to see what it was, and Lucifer- feeling ever so merciful today- grabbed your wrist to crease your movement ˓˓ Okay, okay [nick name] I'll show you ʾʾ finally! he was going to show you

     It was no surprise to you that what he pulled out was indeed a little duck, but what was different was that this duck looked a lot like you- like really a lot like you. ˓˓ You.. made this? ʾʾ examining the little duck, you smiled at how carefully it was made made- the small details that the duck was designed with matched your visage perfectly, you could immediately see that Lucifer put a lot of time and care into this.. that is so sweet.. ˓˓ yes, why? do you not like it ʾʾ the joy in his voice seemed to falter ˓˓ I love it Luci, it's so beautiful ʾʾ looking up from the duck you faced Lucifer's slightly shocked yet pleased smile ˓˓ I'm glad you like it, I know the both of us have been dealing with quite a bit with our anxiety and stuff so... I sort of made this for you try and remind you that hey! you're not alone! The two of us will always have each other right? ʾʾ he rambled, a golden hue on his face- did he find this embarrassing? he really shouldn't, this gift was not only adorable but so incredibly delightful

     ˓˓ of course! Of course we'll have each other- geeze Luci, this is so sweet what the fuck? ʾʾ instinctively you hugged Lucifer tightly, an action he happily returned. You stayed like that for a few minutes before you pulled away ˓˓ now I defiantly need to make something for you ʾʾ ˓˓ you dont have to! ʾʾ  ˓˓ I sure as fuck do! ʾʾ you laughed, quickly speeding away to start working on something for Lucifer while he tried to catch up to you to try and stop you.

[michellemisfit]

WEEKLY TAG WEDNESDAY

Happiest of birthdays to our dear @energievie who created today's birthday themed tag game. WHOOP WHOOP! 🥳

Thanks for the tag @deedala 🎉 @gallapiech 🤩 @vintagelacerosette 🙌

---

When is yours? 1st March

Where were you born? Switzerland.

How do you feel about your legal name? Are you using it online and/or IRL? Michelle is a nice name. I'm perfectly happy with it. I do however absolutely hate the Beales song I was named after. Think it's one of their worst songs. And I regularly forget that I have a middle name, not even cause I hate it or anything, purely because I think it's pointless. It's Aline.

How about your sign? Do you feel it "fits"? I'm Pisces. And I guess so..? I don't really know much about signs, but people who do tell me it fits, and I believe them. @celestialmickey - come and weigh in! haha

What's your earliest memory related to your birthday? Weirdly enough my earliest *birthday* memory that comes to mind is actually my brother's birthday, when he turned maybe 6? And I would have been 3? My parents had a weird thing about getting me small gifts on his birthday, because I was younger and they didn't want me to get upset I guess? Anyway. There's a photograph of him blowing out his birthday candles and me holding a little sheep stuffed toy that I got for his birthday. I remember loving that sheep a LOT! For my first birthday memory I actually don't really have one until about age 6 or 7? I had a birthday party in our party room and my mum made me invite the whole class, even though I wasn't friends with anyone at school. One of the girls gave me a doll as a present and I genuinly just didn't know what I was supposed to do with this thing and had no idea how to react when I unwrapped it... it was very awkward and I'm sure I was less than graceful. Not the best memory lol

What's one of the best gifts you've ever received? When I first moved to London I felt like I was required to go back to Switzerland for birthdays and Christmas celebrations, even though those were difficult, associated with a lot of bad memories, and never ever fun. I moved to London at the beginning of October with a suitcase of clothes and not much else, and we pretty immediately went on the Dirty Pretty Things break up tour, so i didn't even sleep in my new London room very much for the first 8 weeks. Going back to Switzerland for that Christmas was particularly hard because I hadn't been in London for long, I had barely any stuff that belonged to me, and there was a certain feeling of 'maybe it was just a long holiday, and I'm gonna wake up and live in Switzerland again', because I did a lot of extended holidays to follow bands around the UK in the two years leading up to my move so... yeah, it was rough. And then when I returned home to London Ruth and her mum had bought me my own bedsheets (zebra striped), and made up the bed in my room, and put a big bow on it, and I'm basically in floods of tears just thinking about it now. They made me a home that I was welcome in. And I’ll never forget that.

How about one of the best you've given yourself? I honestly can't think of anything that was a "birthday" gift to myself. hmmm. When I quit smoking I put £5 into a jar every day, that I wasn't spending on cigarettes, and then Ruth and I went to New York and attended Elsie Fest with my 'No Longer a Smoker' money, buying VIP tickets that came with awesome seats and a tonne of free booze... that was EXCELLENT! haha

What's your favourite cake flavour? Not a big fan of cake. I like raw cake batter an awful lot better than actual cake. So I now always ask for chocolate mousse for my birthday :)

How about your favourite flowers? Wild Flowers. And I quite like interesting twigs, too.

Have your ever thrown a birthday party? If yes, tell us about your favourite one. Oh yeah, I throw awesome parties. Here's just a few recent ones, or you can check out the Mys in the Kitchen tag for what may get served at my birthday parties... haha Though actually a couple of years post pandemic I wanted to have a brithday party, but keep it small and covid friendly, so I had a Cocktail & Cookie Icing party, which was so much fun!! I highly recommend everyone to throw a party at least once in their life, that includes like a fun workshop element. We had such a good time!

What's the ultimate birthday song?

Because it’s my birthday and people have to let me play it haha

There we have it! Birthday fun! Now it's your turn @deedala @ian-galagher @iandarling @darlingian @celestialmickey @crossmydna @too-schoolforcool @rereadanon @rutherinahobbit @the-rat-wins @tsuga-of-mars @heymrspatel @gallawitchxx x @iansw0rld @ohkate @palepinkgoat @lynne-monstr @loftec @sickness-health-all-that-shit @faejilly @junemermaid @jrooc @mikhailoisbaby @creepkinginc @francesrose3 @callivich @blue-disco-lights @sleepyfacetoughguy @stocious @spookygingerr @lingy910y @suzy-queued @greentealycheejelly @thepupperino

[beach-hermit]

(alot of) Elliott headcanons

Some are random, some are unnecessary detailed

-Has a hair and skin care routine (that's why he needs that long to leave his house in the morning)

-Has a drivers licence, but he doesn't like to drive (mainly because he doesn't own a car, since he is in Pelican Town)

-Wears glasses when he reads or writes (I imagine when his kid shows him something on the phone, that he has to first pull out his glasses)

-Twirls his hair when he is concentrating or nervous

-Combs his hair when he's bored, even if it's already perfectly combed

-Can't cook very well, but is always trying his best

-Can sing and likes to sing

-If Elliott didn't became a writer, he would be a musician

-Likes to dance

-Randomly uses other language(s)

-He is confident, especially when it comes to his looks. He likes his appearance, but doesn't brag about it

-Coffee addicted

-Elliott picked up drawing, because he thought it looked easy when he saw Leah doing it without problem

-Likes all the flowers, but the rose especially

-Is a foodie (ofc)

-Doesn't swear. He thinks it's unprofessional and will ruin his vocabulary

-When he's mad or irritated, he'll accidentally say fuck or shit, but will instantly, dramatic cover his mouth in shock

-He doesn't get angry easily, but gets fustrated alot

-Elliott would never resort to violence, if there isn't a reason too (only if he gets attacked or his partner gets attacked)

-Probably had a little drinking problem before he got married, but doesn't like to admit it

-He's lightweight (gets drunk easily)

-Always wears a hair tie on his wrist. Just in case

-Actually doesn't like getting his hands dirty

-He talkes alot and most of the time, people don't really understand him, but they just let him talk

-Elliott uses large words that the average Pelican townie hasn't heard before

-Loves telling bad jokes

-Has no idea how to use a computer

-Carries a small notebook with him, in case a idea pops up for his novel

-Stole from Pierre once because he didn't had enough money, Elliott felt extremely guilty but also didn't wanted to tell Pierre, so he didn't shop there for a few weeks

-He doesn't shave constantly, but when he does, he shave his whole body as soon as he can't see his skin anymore

-He only shaves his beard to make his face look more youthful and to show off his bone structure

-He's always warm

-Elliott sometimes walks around naked in his cabin, mostly in the morning or at night (also in the farmhouse)

-Will occasionally takes morning laps (single and married)

-Has tried smoking once and almost threw up

-If Elliott has a problem with a townie, he just won't speak with them, if the issues wasn't his fault. (He basically waits until they apologize)

-His voice gets higher when he's nervous or scared

-He snores, not extremely loud but you can hear him outside of the room

-Sweats easily

-Elliott is soft spoken, if he's mad tho, his voice ton gets "dark" and even a bit louder

-Elliott's a fast thinker, he always has the "right" thing to say and knows good comebacks

-Elliott knows alot of useless stuff about alot of things

-Remembers the names from people he just met

-Pays attention to small details (people or in books)

-Gets offended when someone uses foul language, in front of him or to him

-He has problems to fall asleep sometimes

-His handwriting is small and in cursive, that almost no one can read, everytime he writes something down for someone, he writes in block letters

-He is expressional, you can tell if he's sad, mad or happy

-Doesn't really celebrate his birthday, for him it means that he'll get older and that makes him depressed

-Elliott is strong

-But he got no combat knowledge

-Falls in love FAST

-Is good at guessing

-Gets spooked easily

-He collects useless stuff like: shells, rocks, leaves and blossoms

-Elliott is resentful, he'll never forgive you for divorcing or cheating, but he'll cry about it for a looooooong time

-Writes love letters and poems, that he wishes to someday he can share with his future spouse

marriage

-When it's a slow, lazy day on the farm, Elliott would just wear a tshirt and sweatpants, when he knows he won't go outside today

-Elliott only shows that side of comfort to his spouse. He'll never walk outside not wearing his signature formal wear, because he likes people to believe that he always dresses that good.

-Doesn't want to stay in a dirty place for too long, that's why he likes to clean the farm house

-Is always paranoid when his spouse comes home too late (even if it's only 5 minutes)

-Preferres gardening work over farming work

-Elliott jobs will be: planting plants, takes care of the greenhouse, laws the lawn, waters everything and remove weed

-Actually took his piano with in the farm house. (would be cool if the piano would be in his farm room or at least a furniture item that you get when marrying Elliot)

-When his spouse is home and tense, he'll give them a massage, draw them a bath or just be there for them

-Elliott will "force" his spouse to take a day off, to just relax and spend some time together

-Will agree on being a house husband

-Now that Elliott has access to a kitchen, he'll try some dish combinations

-Elliott only cooks when his spouse isn't home, so that they can't see the mess Elliott is going to make in the kitchen

-If his spouse is pregnant, he'll take over the farm and other activities for them, so that they have no stress

-Will speand his own money on giving gifts to his spouse or child(ren)

-His spouse may wake up with Elliott's hair on their face

-Elliott needed to get used to sleep in bed with someone, so in the early states, he would take over the whole bed on accident

-Usually calls his spouse: love, dear, honey, sweetheart, sweetie and darling. If the name allowds it, he also gives them a nickname

-If he finds his spouse passed out (and isn't hurt), he carries them all the way home

-If his spouse has long hair, he likes to play with it

-Secretly watches his spouse from afar if they work on the farm

-Puts his relationship experiences into his novel

-He keeps a picture of his spouse (and children) in his wallet

-Elliott always wears the mermaid pendant, it doesn't matter when or where

-Give's his spouse a good night kiss, if they fall asleep before him

-Man loves to cuddle

-Likes to rest his head on his spouse's chest

-When he's in the town, he wears the mermaid pendant and a wedding ring, to show off and let everyone know that he belongs to a wonderful person

NSFW version

[nthspecialll]

Foreshadowing in bounties and debts

I don't think I will ever actually stop thinking about Mark Johnson and Arthur Londonderry and how their fates and entire plot mirrors and parallels John's and Arthur's.

Mark Johnson was a train and stagecoach robber who left that life behind to become a rancher but in the end got caught by the player for 25 dollars, his family's life, his life, was worth 25 dollars and when hanged the sheriff will say. "A murderer, a brutal and fearsome criminal his entire life, a man who thought he could just leave his outlaw life behind and become a rancher and family man. Well, the law doesn't work that way. A changed man does not change the crimes he has committed."

If I did not know it belonged to another, I would have thought it was about John as it perfectly captures his life. A criminal since eleven, murderer since twelve and all the way til twenty six and even past til thirty four where he finally settles with his family, only for his outlaw life to catch up to him at thirty eight because the fact he changed did not change his crimes.

It didn't matter that John now harvested the food the town ate, it didn't matter John was educating his son to become a lawyer to help those in need, it didn't matter John tamed the horses that those near rode, none of it mattered because it didn't bring back the hundreds of people who's lives he had ruined and he couldn't just go on and live a happy life after all he had done.

"You don't get to live a bad life and have good things happen to you."

Also the fact that you can kill Ms Johnson but not the kid, just like how Abigail dies but Jack survives.

And with Londonderry it is an easy parallel, Arthur Londonderry worked himself to death in the mines trying to feed his family, Arthur Morgan worked himself to death trying to save his family. He did everything he could, even kill, Londonderry did everything he could, even loaning money from shady criminals, yet he couldn't save himself, neither could.

When Morgan stood on those steps, watching that mother and child vulnerable and with no one to care for them, he didn't see the Londonderry's, he saw the Morgans, he saw Eliza and Isaac whom he had left to go work, to support them, which in the end had gotten them killed.

Morgan was there to take Ms Londonderry's money, whatever was left after her husband was gone, just like someone had been there to take whatever Eliza had had on her after he had gone.

Morgan giving the Londonderry's the money he no longer needed was his way of redeeming his failure towards Eliza.

[bethanydelleman]

Of all the marriages that were "meant" to happen or seemed to be going that way in Jane Austen but didn't (eg Darcy and Caroline, Darcy and Anne de Bourgh, Elizabeth and Mr. Collins, Elizabeth and Wickham, Edward and Lucy Steele, Marianne and Willoughby, Emma and Frank Churchill etc) how do you see them working out? Could any of them be happy?

Mr. Darcy & Anne de Bourgh - I can never see this one happening, but my money is on Anne dying either in childbirth or because pregnancy overtaxes her already poor health.

Mr. Darcy & Caroline Bingley - wrote that. Caroline would be a perfectly acceptable mistress of Pemberley, but her propensity to mirror Darcy and express his own opinions would make him worse.

Elizabeth Bennet & Mr. Collins - a disaster: the elder Bennet's marriage but gender-reversed. Lady Catherine would also hate her and that would make Mr. Collins anxious.

Elizabeth Bennet & George Wickham - I don't see how exactly this would come about because Elizabeth has no fortune and Wickham needs a fortune, but it would also be a disaster because Elizabeth would realize who Wickham really was and she would be horrified. Without support, they would be broke.

Edward Ferrars & Lucy Steele - This would be such a mess, Lucy would be sucking up to Mrs. Ferrars for money and trying to push Edward into multiple livings and promotions, which he would hate. Lucy is so much like Edward's mother that he would just be dying inside 24/7. He's not a pushover, but it would be really exhausting for him to fight Lucy on everything and he's trapped in this marriage, so he'd probably give in eventually.

Edward Ferrars & The Honourable Miss Morton - Not enough info.

Marianne Dashwood & Willoughby - wrote that. I don't think there is any way it would end well. Marianne will quickly discover what Willoughby did to Eliza and that he is far in debt. She's not responsible enough to get him out of debt and her view of him would be shattered. It's a tragedy.

Emma Woodhouse & Frank Churchill - the logistics just don't make sense, since Emma cannot leave her father and Frank has Mrs. Churchill, but I guess they could wait for the old lady to kick it and Frank could live at Hartfield... though he's not good with Mr. Woodhouse but I think he could learn. I think this marriage would be fairly successful, but Frank brings out the worst in Emma and that wouldn't be great.

Isabella Thorpe & James Morland - I don't think Isabella would cheat, I see that opinion a lot, but I think Isabella is sensible enough not to try that within a marriage. You can't "trade up" anymore once you're married. However, it would be bad. Isabella would waste money and James wouldn't know what to do with her. They'd probably have like 6 kids though because she's hot.

Isabella Thorpe & Captain Frederick Tilney - this would piss off General Tilney so much that I almost want it to happen. Almost. But honestly, I don't think Frederick would treat her very well if he was forced in some manner to marry Isabella and I don't want her stuck in a cruel marriage.

Mary Crawford & Edmund Bertram - I've written this a few times, I've gone both ways. In one story Mary is cheating on Edmund and he remains oblivious, in my novel Unfairly Caught, they are happy and both of them compromise a bit. Jane Austen herself has an opinion:

Experience might have hoped more for any young people so circumstanced, and impartiality would not have denied to Miss Crawford’s nature that participation of the general nature of women which would lead her to adopt the opinions of the man she loved and respected as her own.

Henry Crawford & Fanny Price - I personally ship this, but of course Henry has to change and without Fanny's help for it to be viable. Again, Austen wrote about it's possibility, so I trust they could have been happy if he wasn't such an idiot.

Colonel Brandon & Eliza #1 - with Eliza's fortune they would have likely been able to live comfortably. I imagine they would have been happy together despite the family rift. If everything happens as before, they would eventually inherit the family estate and live happily ever after.

Anne Elliot & Charles Musgrove - I think this could have gone really well, and honestly if I was Anne I would have gone for it. Charles is kind and smart enough, he'd have been much happier if Anne was his wife. Also, best in-laws ever!

Captain Wentworth & Louisa Musgrove - Louisa would try to be a great wife, but I think Wentworth would be too focused on losing Anne to be a good husband. He'd probably be very affectionate when on leave because he felt bad and then go off to sea to wallow in tragedy. Fortunately, Louisa's family would support her when she was alone.

Anne Elliot & Captain Benwick - I ship it. Captian Benwick would be devoted and he's a reader like Anne. They would spend time reading poetry together.

Sir Walter & Mrs. Clay - lol, I almost wish this one had happened. It would have been fun. Elizabeth Elliot would HATE IT and would probably marry to get away. It'd be fine, Sir Walter would be nice because his choices must be correct and Mrs. Clay would keep smiling and flattering forever.

Mr. Elliot & Elizabeth Elliot - he hates her, so it wouldn't happen, but if it did, it would be bad.

Mr. Elliot & Anne Elliot - This one is tricky. I do agree with Mrs. Smith that Mr. Elliot would respect Anne more and therefore wouldn't be cruel as he was with his first wife, but he's not a good person. I have trouble seeing this one happening because Anne does not want to marry him, but I don't think it would be happy if it somehow did occur.

Mr. Elton & Harriet Smith - he is a petty jerk, it's not a good match because Harriet cannot hold her own against him and he wouldn't admire her like he does Augusta. Bad times for Harriet.

Emma Woodhouse & Mr. Elton - Emma would rather enter a convent.

Mr. Knightley & Jane Fairfax - I don't know how or why this would happen, but given her intelligence and his kindness, this marriage would be successful.

That's all I can think of!