#I don't really ever interact with people online so I dunno if I'll ever actually use the chatroom part of the game

[cinimuffin]

I like fishing games and also games with little creatures and so here we are

[bluntforcespatter]

trying's still good too ywy o u g h yeah, i get that. we spent way too much time on the internet too, my system n stuff i mean, to distract from irl stuff. tho ofc that led to. way more stuff happening, but i'm not gonna get into all of it rdgtfnhj but it was def easier to throw ourselves into pixels than deal with irl issues, esp when there were good things among the bad. most of our friends have been online, since ig maybe we aren't really someone ppl are interested in irl =w=;; anyways, i get it in my own ways lol. OHH we were on Quotev when we were younger. still go on at times, but we're way less active. most of our roleplays took place on Amino n Facebook tho which were....yeah lol. still, it was fun. kinda miss doing rp, less for the...acknowledgment of identity ig n more just cuz it was fun. but it's def hard, esp with current issues n such. hell ya, digital bestiess ywy YEAH, yeah. unfortunately i also get the whole...static brain thing. sometimes it calms down but it's been pretty constant over the past...year or two? cuz of stuff. anyways yeah, it's nice to have some sorta physical reminder ywy n yeah np! that all sounds nice =w= hopefully by the time you get this you'll be at home n stuff. n that's fair, good to know drthb i'll try to keep all that in mind ywy aa well thank you, idm the cheese, it's nice. :3 i appreciate it lol n dw about the switching, i get it lol, it was still cohesive n made sense so it's chill :3 - 📺

oh it's cool tht you're a system too !! we have been wanting more sysfriends (°ロ°) ! it's nice to gave people who understand. sort of. like of course all of our experiences are different but. ╮(￣ω￣;)╭ i find other systems are less likely to be like "wtf are you talking about you crazy person" and more likely to just. accept. which is nice.

i do get the Bad Internet Stuff (tm). i simply refuse to think about the bad stuff that happened to me because if i do i will actually disintegrate (◎ ◎) i think im the same way, my best friends are all internet peoples... it's really hard to talk to people in person. i don't make enough eye contact because it causes me physical pain. i've found in person people seem to find me off putting, i get called creepy and weird a lot. i sort of stopped trying to interact with people because of a very bad experience i had when i was 19-20. i do try very hard !! but i think i try way too hard and freak people out. ugh i dunno it's just. yeah. im don't think im someone people like IRL either.

it is super fun to RP !! it's harder for me now because like... people can be gross with it and so i don't like to do it with strangers, but it was SO FUN. i miss world building and doing fanart for everyones charas and stuff... i also used Facebook to RP jskwhshsj i was just pretty popular on QV because of my stories and quizzes n stuff. i was part of the creepypasta craze... Decidedly Normal Now (lying)

＼(＾∀＾)メ(＾∀＾)ノ

my brain is a big swamp bog full of fog. brain is mud soup. no thoughts head empty etc. it isn't great but again we try our best and whatnot ٩(× ×)۶ if you ever need to talk about it, i am allegedly a good listener (￣ ￣|||) i do my best anyways.

and thank you !! i am pleased to hear from you again, thank you very much for this conversation (*^_^*)♡

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary9

listening to orchid chaos is me for the millionth time #swaeg

today we had to do errands but they were light but i had a bad dream i guess that made me feel really miserable all day. the dream was that my gf left me, so i killed myself. what i really remember from it was using these blue scissors i had in my old bedroom at my parent's place my mom had since always to do it, and my gf seeing me and rushing off to a hospital where i woke up from. i think i'd still die in the dream, i was bleeding a lot.

so obviously starting the day miserable, and i'm for some reason sort of compelled to tell my gf what happened and play it up like i'm actually hurt by what she did, and i'm not, but it still actually makes me miserable. there's nothing rocky about where we are except i'm insane and i'm the problem always i feel like, i'm irrational and excitable in every direction, it's easy for me to get actually suicidal, one time i made her a grilled cheese and it looked not good so i took it from her and made her another one and i was at tears the whole time and really erratic saying that i can't make her something that looks like dog food, that i have to eat that so she can have something normal. it tasted fine. i was also getting really upset about the butter being hard still and it made me want to stab myself. which is stupid obviously but it still makes me upset i guess. i feel useless a lot, i think i probably am. i don't know what's wrong with me, i really wish i did, i don't know, i don't think anything is wrong in the way where it's like a doctor's going to help in any way or maybe that means i'm beyond hope or whatever.

i think this all makes me sound super volatile. i don't want to be super volatile. i don't think i am. maybe that's just hope but i hope it isn't. i don't know though because no one tells me i'm not except my gf. no one tells me i am except a voice in my head. i just don't know how to trust one or the other but putting it here it makes me think i should trust the real person outside of me more than the voice in me that exists to just create ways to disagree with anything i guess.

today i am feeling more alienated than yesterday. not from my girlfriend. just people online, again. it's a thing that happens to me, i don't feel sufficiently 'in' with a server, basically, and i feel like i can't ever be, because i'm just different/raised different/socialized different, saying that feels egotistical. like, i'm not like regular girls (girls carrying 20 asterisks that alternate gender w/ each one (you understand i'm certain (and i'm sure you get why i need to state it here because i feel like i'll be lying and crazy if i don't or i dunno something else, it's just wrong to not (it makes explaining myself very difficult in that way and i guess i just want to be intuited)))) type stuff. i promise it isn't, or i don't want it to be. i just feel pretty far outside how they interact with the world they're in / art / eachother / whatever, and by being outside that, i can't really figure out how to approach, so i sort of just get left in my own pit, excluded and not really even a curiosity, just a kind of village freak who seeks vengeance by saying strange things. it's not actually like vengeance i just do what i want and to them it probably seems freakish but i just try to be myself and when i can't really say what i want or there's nothing to even say to the things they say but i want there to be because i want to be everybody's friend i find pleasure/happiness in coming off crazy because it sort of makes me look like a fool and then maybe that'll make them say hey this person is, like, not trying to be superior or whatever. i don't think people read me that way anyways but i really dislike the idea of being better than anyone. we're not all the same but superiority outright is an ugly way to approach things/people/anything. essentially trying to school people on entire histories or situations makes them useless to themselves, or not really, but you know, that sort of condescension / will to explaining anything really puts people directly below you, it makes me feel like an insect even seeing it and i see so many people eager to use knowledge like a tool for competition rather than idk, cooperation. it's like, yes we can cooperate but first i have to one-up you. there's differences in explanation and discussion and this, i can't line it out. it's really down to prose and how one carries themselves, how one puts the words out there and stuff, in huge sprawling series of posts vs. paragraphs they clearly spend time writing and editing and so on.

anyways today makes me feel sort of sad. i guess this is the trend, the middle of the week ends up being full of stress, cuz of errand day, where idk, i guess it's because i'm doing stuff i don't necessarily like at all. i sort of hate being in stores. very few places feel hospitable. i like crafts stores because i could go in them for hours with my mom to escape my stepdad, i like trader joe's, it's nostalgic, which is a tragedy and i shouldn't feel like that about a shopping center. otherwise, stores are high stress. i also like malls and pretty clothes and stuff.

anyways i dunno. this doesn't need to go on forever. i'll try to chill out now. tomorrow will be better i guess. i hope. i think it will be.

[monoton-e]

lovely little update:

i'm doing pretty good, all things considered. i'm actually learning how to drive behind the wheel, continuing transitioning my diet to foods that better serve me and my health, actually cleaning my room (I have never had a room be 100% clean. Always boxes here bags there, temporary tidy, so uh, this is HUGE for me. Just need to downsize my clothes and deal with a SINGLE box of old mail and paperwork. Woo), hell, decorate my room for the first time ever too (I've been living with blank off white walls ever since I've had my own room so it feels weird), listening to more music, cut off some people I thought were friends simply because we were in the same guild and not because of anything genuine, and stuff. Im shit at school, I realize. I dont know how to study. Also I procrastinate everything, really really bad. I started playing guitar again and I plan to start drawing again; it's been too long. My situationship remains as is, a situationship but honestly, its like a fwb but the benefits are emotional LMFAO well, there *is* some actual fwb but its all online which is a okay with me. Honestly a solid support friend, and I've gotten much closer to 2 other friends recently too. Its nice seeing people being genuine in their interactions with me simply because they want to be around me. I'm on the fence over one friendship, we call eachother besties because of how much we've gone through together, but they don't understand that I want nothing romantic with them, not even my normal everyday soft fluff affection I give to my friends normally. I've been distancing myself because its all I really can do. My relationship with my sister is still shit but we're taking it a day at a time. My parents and I are on better terms, but also tense in its own way because of financial tensions. I dont talk to my niece as much, but we still send eachother memes. Same with my bro. Thats really it. Oh, and my cat is still here, follows me around more often lately and likes to take naps on his tree and my room when its cold.

I'm doing good, still depressed and mentally and emotionally *shxt* but I'm good. Vitamin water is lit. So is sourdough toasted with a bit of honey on it. Lavender earl grey tea with a spoonful of shite sugar and a dash of milk is delicious. I miss the feeling of my skin being hydrated by simply existing outside like it was in LA. I am lonely as I dont have anyone out here in ABQ to call a friend and to spend time together but it is what it is. I feel more truthful and honest and more.. sincere? I dunno, I normally am but this time I dont really make an effort to fake it or try to people please anymore. Its been interesting.

I'm taking 2 classes and failing them rn (statistics and english). I haven't worked since November.

I'm struggling so much. Some days, the smallest thing will make me cry. Oh yeah, I'm a big ol crybaby these days. I'm sensitive af (not new) but I've been just feeling things out as long as I need to. Its not really good or bad, nor helpful really, but its nice to just let it out, exist, and listen to music.

I found my meds (been off for a few months b/c I lost them and lost the will to take em) but I took my first pill in a long time today. And yeah. Now thats it.

Thanks for reading, maybe I'll have more to say in terms of accomplishments next update, we'll see

[modelbus]

Hii! Can I request a Tommy x fem!reader who’s a streamer and they’re at a convention together (twitchcon or vidcon) and before the mcyt panel, the readers getting a bit anxious and tommy notices and takes her to a secluded area of the venue and helps them calm down a little bit. <3

Milliinnit, you have created another wonderful prompt for me. I had to work to figure out an alliteration for this one, and I came up with Vexation (the state of being worried).

Pairing: CC!Tommy x Fem!Reader

VidCon Vexation

Vidcon was a dream come true. Seriously, you thought it was amazing! Between being able to meet all your friends to adding some fans, it put a lot of social interaction in what is normally an internet job. That being said, it was stressful as fuck.

There was a mere hour before you were meant to go on the Minecraft YouTuber panel to talk in front of a rapidly growing crowd, and you were freaking out. Every seat was already filled! It’s one thing to stream in front of thousands of people, knowing they aren’t actually there, and it’s another to be able to see them all. To feel the weight of their eyes.

Being a female content creator, you just knew you would get judged more heavily than many others on that stage with you. It had been happening for ages online. Yet the very thought of being able to see the thoughts pass through people’s heads? Jesus.

Fidgeting with a hair tie you keep on your wrist, you glance around the backstage area all panel members were being kept in. It was pretty empty, leaving you nothing to help keep your mind off the panel.

“What do you think?”

At Ranboo’s question, you nearly jump. You definitely weren’t paying attention, too lost in your own mind.

“Sorry, what?”

Tommy’s eyebrows furrow and he switches the side he’s standing on to be next to you rather than Ranboo. His shoulder just barely nudges into yours, a silent reminder that he’s there for you.

“How many people will show up?” Ranboo repeats.

Before you even think it through, you're blurting out, "Too many."

Ranboo just laughs, nodding. "Mhm, mhm- oh! Tubbo!" And just like that, he's gone.

"Are you okay?" Tommy asks once he's in a new conversation. "Like, genuinely."

"Yeah, yeah." You quickly say, not wanting to worry him.

"...come on." He decides suddenly. "Let's go."

"Go where?"

"Go."

"We can't miss the panel-"

"We'll make it back." He promises.

You don't get much more of a chance to refuse, seeing as he grabs your hand and starts pulling you along with him. It doesn't take long for him to find a way to slip out of the backstage area and find a much more secluded spot for the both of you.

Because most people were inside waiting for the panel, he had found a small corner outside that was entire shielded from the view of anyone that wasn't looking by hedges. He takes a seat on the ground without hesitation, patting the spot next to him.

"Come on, the ground's nice!"

"Why don't I believe that?" Either way, you take the spot next to him.

After a second of silence where you get comfortable by leaning on him, he speaks.

"You looked really stressed."

Sighing, you admit silent defeat to yourself before speaking. "Yeah. I just- I dunno, there's a lot of people out there."

"Is it a crowd thing? Or an overthinking thing?"

"Probably overthinking. I just can't help but wonder what I'll do if they don't like me. They can't exactly click off a stream in real life."

"Why wouldn't they like you?"

You almost laugh before realizing he's dead serious. This has to be the most serious you've ever seen him. He's actually considering your words before saying his own.

"You aren't on the panel for no reason." He continues, "You're on it because they do like you."

"Thank you." You murmur, casting your gaze down to the concrete.

"Hey." He says, drawing your attention back to him. "Wil once told me to fuck everyone else's opinions because his matters the most. So, fuck everyone else's opinions because mine matters the most, and I like you."

"There has to be over a hundred people in that crowd."

"And? I'm better than them all. I'm big man Tom Simons, they don't have nothing on me."

With a laugh, you finally stop fidgeting with your hair tie. He seizes the opportunity and interlaces his fingers with yours, another act of support that means the world.

"They don't." You agree, letting out a breath.

For a little while, you both sit in a random corner of Vidcon. Neither of you talk, content to let the sound of other people fill the air.

He's helped quiet your head a little, soothe all the anxieties that had bubbled up. Tommy's helped more than he could ever know in just a few minutes.

"Fuck." Tommy suddenly exclaims. "We have to get back, now!"

Okay, so maybe it was more than a few minutes.

After sprinting back, saying fuck it to trying to sneak back in, you barely make it there in time to line up in the order you guys are meant to walk out on stage in. He's ahead of you by a few people, meaning you're seperated.

With a last squeeze to your hand, he gives you a smile. "It'll be awesome. Sit by me."

He goes to stand in his spot, and you stand in yours, staring ahead at the black curtain hiding the audience. Tommy's right. This is going to be awesome.

[killian-whump]

I'm trying so hard not to "cancel" Colin over this whole NFT thing but I don't know if I'll be able to keep loving him. I wish I could believe this was a bad move on his part and that he innocently got duped but I can't help but feel that he knows very well what he's doing and is trying to take advantage of his fans. The way he kept being friends with Michael Coleman and interacting with him on twitter already left a sour taste in my mouth. I think this is the last straw for me and it HURTS

I've spoken about the whole Michael Coleman thing on this blog many times before. I don't want to repeat myself all over again - but I will say that I don't like the guy, I've had bad run-ins with him online, and I believe the allegations made against him are likely true.

That said, I'm not Colin. Colin's knowledge of Coleman is entirely different than mine - he's actually spent a lot of time with the guy, on the show and off, and knows him far better than any of us do. I support Colin's right to make his own decisions about whether he thinks Coleman is guilty or not - and, for that matter, I support his right to maintain the relationship (if there even IS one anymore) even if he thinks the allegations are true.

If anyone wants to know more about my opinions on Coleman or Colin's continued interaction with him, there's plenty to read at the link above - and if you have further questions, go ahead and ask.

Now... for the NFT nonsense.

I mean, ALL of the offensive nonsense has all come from one direction thus far - and I think we all know that's who spearheaded this whole cockamamie plan. Colin's merely a cog in that plan - a cog that grants credibility, a larger platform, and access to an already-existing fanbase.

It's Occam's Razor, Nonny. And as always, follow the money. Or, in this case, follow where the money was intended to go. It was all intended to fund Rothberg's TSR/Xataverse nonsense - which is all NFT bullshit from beginning to end. And look, despite this whole debacle, Colin's not really an NFT Bro. He's not running around with "eth" in his usernames and ugly ass monkeys for pfps. Rothberg, on the other hand, IS a total NFT Bro.

The only thing I think Colin's actually guilty of here is falling for a pitch he shouldn't have - and considering he seems to be the only one around here who did... Well, I said before he had more to lose in this debacle than any of us do, and that's still true. No harm, no foul as far as I'm concerned 🤷‍♀️ I just hope his career recovers from it.

And seriously... he needs to fire a guy. Or hire a guy. I don't even care which. He just... clearly there isn't anyone on his payroll giving him good career advice, because if there was, this wouldn't have happened. Like, there are people whose entire career is helping celebrities not completely fuck things up for themselves. If Colin doesn't have someone like that on his side, he needs to get someone like that on his side so shit like this doesn't happen.

Or, shit, he could just send an anonymous Ask to one of us here on Tumblr - "Hey, what if Colin started selling NFTs?" and see what happens. When we all laugh and say that would be The Worst Thing Ever and A Humungous Failure, maybe don't do that thing.

I dunno, Nonny. For me, the issue isn't whether I'm gonna cancel Colin or stop liking him... it's more like when you're riding on a bus, having a nice time, and then suddenly you realize the bus is being driven by a raccoon.

[clearcorona]

don't be afraid // sero hanta x fem!reader

That's so sweet! I'm glad you like my writing. I actually really like studying mental illnesses, so this was a lot of fun for me. I had a hard time choosing in the beginning which illness I wanted to do. It was definitely between bulimia nervosa, seasonal affective disorder, and panic disorder. I decided to pick SAD because the seasons are changing and Christmas is coming up so I think it's kind or appropriate. Maybe I'll use the other two some other time. I dunno yet.

Sero had noticed you'd been acting strange recently. You weren't your usual self, no longer bubbly and perky. Everyone else seemed to pick up on it as well, not sure what could possibly be wrong. He decided that he definitely needed to get to the bottom of it. He felt like he couldn't be a hero if he couldn't help the ones he cared the most about.

"Babe, it's me, Sero. Can I come in?" he asked as he stood in front of the door to your dorm room.

"Go away, Sero," he heard you mutter and frowned. Now, that wasn't like you at all.

"Baby, I'm not leaving. I want to help you," he said and tried to open your door, realizing then that you had locked it.

"Just leave me alone. I want to be alone," you said and he tried jiggling the doorknob again.

"(Y/N), open the door! Just let me help you, baby. I'll do anything."

"Then leave me alone." Sero clenched his fists and walked out towards the common room, seeing a few other students of 1-A watching a movie together.

"How's (Y/N)?" Mina asked, worry evident in her eyes.

"She wants to be left alone. I just want to know what's going on. I feel so helpless not knowing what to do," Sero replied. He then shook his head, deciding he needed to do some research.

~

The next morning, you practically had to drag yourself out of bed, taking your time getting dressed. You felt there was no real point in getting to class early and decided to stay in bed until your last alarm went off, not caring much if you were late.

You threw on your uniform and grabbed your bag, heading to class. Of course, you knew what was going on. You had known for a while now, which was why you absolutely hated when the colder months came around. How could you possibly tell Sero? He'd only laugh at you. It was a stupid thing to be diagnosed with, in your opinion.

You dragged your feet down the halls to U.A., opening the door to your classroom. Aizawa looked over at you and raised his eyebrow.

"You're late again, (L/N)," he said and you shrugged, taking a seat. Everyone around you exchanged worried glances. "Mind telling everyone what's going on?"

"It's nothing. You just all worry too much, I'm fine," you muttered and Sero stood up, slamming his hands down on his desk in frustration.

"You're obviously not fine. You've been like this for a while now, (Y/N). Do you really think we're just going to let you sit around and mope? You don't even what to do anything anymore. What happened?" Sero demanded. You looked up at him and then looked away, standing up.

"It's none of your business. Just leave me alone. There's no point anyway," you forced your feet to move forward, just wanting to head back to sleep. Before you could reach the door, however, you felt something grab you. You sighed as you realized it was Aizawa's capture weapon. "Why can't you guys just leave me alone? You wouldn't understand."

"That's why we're trying to understand! We want to help you!" Sero exclaimed and you sighed.

"It'll be over soon," you replied and shook your head, knowing you'd be back to your usual self once the warmer months came around again.

"Hell, (Y/N), we can't just sit around until it's over. If there's something we can do to help, we're doing it," Mina spoke up and the rest of the class nodded.

"Please, we just want to help you. Do you know how much it hurts to see you like this?" Sero asked and you frowned. Aizawa slowly released you, making sure you didn't fall over.

"You just don't get it. You'll laugh if I tell you," you said and Mina walked over to you, holding your hands with a wide smile.

"I promise we won't laugh. We're only here to help, (Y/N). No one will laugh, so you can tell us." You hesitated and leaned forward, whispering in her ear. You were still nervous that she'd laugh. As soon as you told her, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "What's that?" You moved away from her, not caring much to elaborate. You then walked out of the classroom, glad Aizawa decided not to stop you this time.

"So, what'd she say?" Jirou spoke up and Mina turned to look over at them.

"She said it was something called Seasonal Affective Disorder. I've definitely never heard of it," she replied and everyone looked at Aizawa.

"I know what you're about to ask. Go ahead and do what you want," he said and Sero smiled, watching as Mina pulled out her phone to look up what it meant.

"I've never even heard of something like that," Deku said as quite a few people started to crowd around Mina, wanting to know what it was.

"Woah, wait, that's actually a thing?" Mina asked herself as she read up on it. Everyone crowded around her looked up at her with curious eyes. "In (Y/N)'s case, it's known as the winter blues. She basically starts to get depressed when the colder seasons come around."

"Isn't it just the same thing as depression, then?" Kaminari spoke up and Mina shook her head.

"Kind of, but not really. There's quite a lot we can do to help her, since I highly doubt she'd want to take antidepressants for it," Mina said.

"What are the signs, so we know for future reference?" Sero asked and Mina scrolled through the article.

"Craves more sleep than usual, daytime drowsiness, and can sometimes even gain weight. Apparently some people have a craving for sweets around this time," she said and everyone looked around at each other. Of course they had all seen you like that, how you'd skip on on movie nights to go to bed even earlier than Bakugou, how exhausted you'd seem throughout the day, and how much you would beg Satou to make you cakes and other kinds of sweets. Of course, they had all been blind to notice these as signs. That alone made them all feel guilty.

"What can we do to help?" Uraraka asked and Mina looked back down at her phone.

"Light therapy?" she questioned and then read the article more. "Basically, just get her outside in the natural light as often as possible. There are also light bulbs that simulate natural light, we could try those. If it doesn't work, it says we should take her to get antidepressants."

"Let's just hope this works," Sero said and pulled out his phone, looking online to find the right lightbulbs for you, paying extra to have them get to the school the very same day.

~

You were laying in bed, still in your uniform. You hugged a pillow to your chest, closing your eyes. Just as you were about to drift off, you heard a gentle knock on the door. To be completely honest, you weren't exactly sure how long you have been laying in bed ever since you had decided to ditch class.

"Babe, it's me. I'm coming in, alright?" you heard Sero say before stepping into your room. You suddenly regretted not locking the door. He closed the door behind him, looking over at your form that was covered by your blankets. He frowned and sat on the edge of your bed. Despite the fact that you didn't really want to be around anyone, you had missed the feeling of being in Sero's arms. Without being asked to, you pulled the blankets off and crawled to sit on your boyfriend's lap.

He smiled and kissed the top of your head as you nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck.

"I want you to know that you can rely on me, okay, baby?" he asked, his voice soft as he rubbed your back. "Will you let me help you? It hurts to see you like this." You hesitated and then slowly nodded your head, giving him permission. He smiled and stood up, letting you cling onto him.

"What time is it?" you asked softly before you pulled your phone out of your pocket. It was well after school hours. You hadn't even realized how long you had been laying in bed, drifting in and out of a dreamless slumber. "Ugh."

"Wanna take a walk with me to get some ice cream or something? We still have some time before curfew," he spoke softly in your ear and you nodded again.

~

In a shorter time than the students of 1-A we're expecting, you were starting to revert back to your usual self despite the cold weather.

Sero smiled to himself as he watched you interact with the other girls, so much different than the person who locked herself in her dorm and refused to let anyone in. He'd go to the ends of the Earth to keep that smile on your face. To him, you were a precious angel and he would do anything to protect you.

"Sero!" you chirped as you walked up to your boyfriend, a wide smile on your face.

"What's up, babe?" he asked, watching your small hand reach out to grab his.

"We should go to the arcade later. I so want to destroy you in those fighting games!" He chuckled and ruffled your hair with his free hand.

"You're on!"