#I don't really drink anymore and have thought about making this with kratom but I think that would tip this too far into being

[prolibytherium]

questiokn do you still have your evil tea recipe to clean out ur sinuses 🙏 i miss being able to breathe

I can't find the post so remaking it

EVIL HOT TODDY

Ingredience: (*= hard requirement)

Water *

Garlic (as much as you can handle) *

honey *

some sort of throat-soothing tea for a base like licorice or echinacea or etc. You won't be able to taste it

liquor* (traditionally Fireball, you kind of want this beverage to be as dogshit as possible). If non alcoholic add apple cider vinegar I guess

apple cider vinegar

lemon or lime juice

cayenne pepper *

Actually hot pepper, dealer's choice. Sometimes I chop a habenero.

anything else in your possession that seems vaguely medicinal. Herbs. Juices. Dissolve a couple of cough drops. Who gives a fuck.

STEPS

Boil water and steep tea base and add everything except the garlic/liquor

chop/crush garlic. Let it sit for 10 minutes, which I read somewhere 'activates' its antibacterial properties, which is probably bullshit but I like the mystery so I'm not fact checking it.

Add garlic after 10 minute 'activation' period

Steep until it has started to cool enough to drink. DO NOT REMOVE THE GARLIC. YOU HAVE TO DRINK IT WITH THE GARLIC.

Add liquor once it's at a drinkable temperature, you don't want the alcohol content reduced.

Consume

Eat the garlic too

You are now at least a little drunk and have no remaining sensation in your throat, thus solving the problem of your sore throat

You will now smell like garlic for days

[ihatehannibal]

Everything is so fucking shitty lately, I lied through my teeth to my psychiatrist bc I don't want him to blame it on me reducing my SSRI dose & insist I stabilize again. it's bc my friends are all so...completely ambivalent about me I guess? like ok there's my best friend, who I've been long distance with since the we met online ten years ago but who I've never FELT this distant from in all that time. it's been like this for a year, since she moved to Japan, but again it's not like she lived close to me before, she's Canadian. I don't even know who's fault it is but we don't talk like we did before. It's probably her fucking boyfriend giving her the emotional support that I used to give her. She doesn't rly need me anymore. I don't want it to end I really thought we were platonic soulmates and I thought we'd be 80 together still best friends. Maybe that's just me being naive. This is how it goes with friendships for normal women isn't it, they eventually find a partner & then suddenly you're no longer #1 for them. You can't compare

Then there's my second best friend, who IS local & who I've known for 14 years...since we were 14 and starting high school. I've known her as long as I didn't know her. and yet she has let me down more times than I can count & I'm sure I've let her down the same. Every time I try to talk to her about what's going on I just end up feeling like shit bc she tells me I'm triggering her or whatever. Ok. Like she rly said "I'm not the sort of person who can hear this stuff & go on my merry way" I'm sorry I said like four sentences about what happened with the guy w/the gun but how the fuck do you think I feel having to LIVE this shit firsthand??? Pop quiz do I fucking sound like I'm going on my merry way about it or do I sound traumatized???? I feel emotionally distant from her too & don't even know if I want to keep being friends but I'm a coward so I'll probably just let it fade rather than making a clean break.

Then there's my third & final friend, who I've known the longest but who I only recently reconnected with. She's fun to hang out with but that's only when she doesn't flake & leave me on read for a month, which she does so consistently that I'm ready to just stop trying.

It sucks seeing my sister with all these super strong bulletproof friendships, both local & abroad, that she formed in primary school & more in college (years that I entirely wasted being a depressed shut in) & are still going strong. She's always going out for drinks with them or watching movies on FaceTime & I'm here alone in my room binge eating & watching fucking greys anatomy of all things wondering if I will ever have a successful life with a friend group I can count on & knowing deep down that the answer is no.

I feel like I don't even ask for much. Like yes I want to be a famous writer ideally but I think I'd be happy just writing my stuff for a niche audience & having a bunch of fucking friends to do things & go places with. I'm not even looking forward to my Japan trip anymore bc my best friend isnt even excited to see me for the first time in 5 yrs & I probably can't save up enough anyways due to having to pay the mortgage on this fucking house the whole summer which was when I had the most work. Now I'm gonna be lucky to get two days a week & have only Saturday ON shift guaranteed. I couldn't save up anything when I had the chance so now I'm screwed

Oh and my room is a fucking stye again. A real depression den. Kratom powder & empty junk food wrappers & dirty clothes all over the floor & bed. Unreal how I keep letting it get this bad repeatedly