#I don't like seeing my colonists in pain

[pushing500]

Toddler Ro is still very cute, and I'm glad he's getting some good use out of those toys in the school building. Andy and Henry never paid them much heed.

We've had a bout of gut worms which took out a bunch of colonists until they were treated, but we had plenty of room in the hospital and lots of fellow colonists eager to step in and lend a hand.

Henry turned 10, and now I have to remember to start drawing him looking a bit older. They grow up so fast!!

I was curious about what would happen if I gave the teetotaler trait to someone with a genetic dependency on a drug. Or, in Henry's case, to someone who will develop a genetic dependency once they're old enough. I didn't end up picking it for him because I didn't want to make him miserable if it did end up clashing with his genetics, so he got an iron stomach instead. That seemed more appropriate for a Hussar than the optimist trait, and I didn't want to give him bloodlust or abrasive because he's already genetically hyper-aggressive. Heavy sleeper was tempting, but I like not having to deal with food poisoning.

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[talkingparrotkee]

After seeing disagreeable claims critiquing the end of Wakanda Forever float around for the nth time, I felt like organizing my qualms and putting them neatly into another blog. These are just my musings.

"Shuri should've killed Namor! Sparing him was wrong!" I apologize for my harsh phrasing, but this is a horrible and brainless take, especially when it's from begrudged shippers or anti-Wakanda Forever recasters 😭. Whenever I see it, I can't help but wonder if anyone who says this or agrees genuinely likes and (especially) understands Namor and/or Shuri's actual characters. And no, I do not mean the surface aesthetic of or attraction to them.

If you knew and understood what kind of character Shuri (at least in the MCU) is, you would know why she spared Namor's life after nearly taking it. If you understood the important messages carefully baked into the film, you'd understand the writing choice of Shuri sparing Namor and Namor not being the "incorrigible villain who deserves death."

Asking the silly question of why she didn't kill him in the form of critique, or worse, saying she should have or somehow should give him hell after the fact (fortunately, a regressive immaturity neither character has), is a clear show of media illiteracy. It neglects both characters and at least one pillar theme of Wakanda Forever. If Shuri killed Namor, Talokan and Wakanda would unnaturally be eating away at each other for eternity, allowing the surface colonist nations to swoop in as the destabilization process was done for them. The true villains and enemies that put them in that situation where they collided with one another would gain access to their vibranium and technology. Game over.

Shuri Was Never In Her "Villain Era"

The simple answer, Shuri is not Wanda Maximoff 😊. Goodnight. (Author's note because someone was troubled by this tongue and cheek remark: I don't hate Wanda at all. I meant what I wrote: Shuri is not Wanda, just Wakandan. People want her to be Wanda and have a Wanda arc when she is not and will not. 🫡)

Even at the lowest of her low, Shuri is no villain. Shuri was just a young woman trying to find what kind of leader she was in the midst of grief, inner turmoil, and human anger. I don't know why some fans say she had a "villain era" or want her to canonically have a "villain era," but ok. That is not Shuri, nor would it have filled the hole in Shuri's heart, as said by Nakia. It was not just because it endangered Wakanda and would spearhead them in an eternal war either. Although, that is reason enough for Shuri not to kill Namor.

Who Princess Shuri Truly Is

Princess Shuri is a natural healer, teacher, and creator. Shuri loves, designs, creates, innovates, builds, and protects. Shuri has people who would die for her and trusts her to make the right choice in the end, faithfully standing beside her even when they recognize that the trajectory she currently set them on wasn't a good one. Why do you think this is? Because they know and trust Shuri. They know her brain is as big as her heart.

Shuri is not inherently destructive. That was the uncharacteristic result of her gripe with death (thinking it meant gone) and destructive handling of her grief. Ryan Coogler even pointed out how Shuri's state was unhealthy and dangerous. Shuri and Namor were both grieving and asking themselves painful questions.

That is why Killmonger is who appears to her. Killmonger is a violent, radical character (made that way by neglect, grief, loss, militaristic molding, and the suffering African Americans face) who almost carelessly sent Wakanda spiraling into mayhem. He became the people he hated, in the wise words of T'Challa, and was an unworthy king, in the wise words of Shuri. If such a man is comparing himself to Shuri and is who her subconscious elicited on the Ancestral Plane (which Shuri seems to be taking to her grave now, refusing to tell Nakia), maybe she's not doing alright? Just a thought!

This is also why Ramonda took her out by the river. It's why M'Baku said what he said at Ramonda's funeral. It is so she can mourn properly. So she could heal properly. Something she wasn't doing since the day T'Challa died.

Killing Namor would've destroyed her, not just her people. It wouldn't have sated her despite in her rightful anger, feeling it would. It would've just sent her past a point of no return.

"Show him who you are." Ramonda told her this after she struggled on her own with killing Namor. Why do you think Shuri hesitated even without Ramonda's influence (which was just her presence and reminding Shuri who she already was) yet? It didn't feel "right" to Shuri as their moment together (watching the Talokan sunrise), how Namor paralleled her, and how their people were alike flew through her mind's eye. Shuri hesitated, not because she was "soft" or "nonsensical mushy writing." Shuri saw what they were and what this was. She thought beyond herself. As Editor Michael P. Shawver said, Namor's line of, "only the most broken people can become great leaders" is what they focused on. It is what Shuri finally realizes at the bitter end. They relate. The narrative, characters, and actors all recognize this; I don't see how some audience members do not.

She and Namor were perpetuating the destructive cycle of grief and vengeance while setting that example for their people, but she was strong enough to pull herself up and break that chain. Then she offered her his hand for the sake of not only themselves, but their people. She saw firsthand the beauty of Talokan. Like Namor admired Wakanda in the beginning, she admired Talokan. She remembered her visit to Talokan in the mix of her nation's beauty.

"Vengance has consumed us. We cannot let it consume our people."

Not "my" people. Not "your" people. Our people.

Shuri realized many simple yet, at the same time, humanly complicated truths of how they had connectivity and were broken, trying to be the best leaders they could be. Neither of them was the villain but are what they were due to the bitter hand life dealt them and the situations they faced.

The Real Theme of Black Panther's Wakanda Forever

This movie also had clear themes of:

A) how POC/indigenous infighting sucks and is counterproductive

B) connectivity of black and brown, from culture to shared wounds

C) the scars of colonialization

Shuri killing Namor would defeat the carefully woven narrative and betray all these well-built things. I know some of you guys don't like to hear this, but Namor is not of the archetype of Killmonger, nor is he the real "villain," so he was handled accordingly.

“We talked to so many experts and really made relationships with them, because there was a lot to go through,” says Beachler. “There are a lot of parallels between Africans and Latin Americans as far as the colonization of their communities and cities, the enslavement of their people, the lies that were told about their culture, the misinterpretation of their words, and the ways they were made out to look demonized in order to elevate a European country.”

Shuri Getting Her Lick Back

"Shuri should've beaten Namor until-" or "She let him off the hook unpunished!" If you paid attention to the movie, you'd see she literally beat him within an inch of his life? She definitely did get her lick back just as Namor got his. Wanting her to get "more" licks after the fact is regressive.

Shuri:

isolated and trapped Namor to weaken and drain his energy

ferally clawed both of his wings, taking out his ability to fly

made him bleed and bruised him up

roasted him in a firey explosion, effectively charring him and rendering him temporarily paralyzed

Shuri didn't play patty cake with him; she made an immortal bleed and fear death. She had him gasping for air on his back at the mercy of her spear tip. She made him yield and call off the troops. She made an ally out of him on her terms who exalted her strength and is currently bandaged up, flightless, and awaiting to aid her (rather than striking first, waging war as originally wanted). It's more than enough and was the best course of action. What do you mean? What are you talking about?

[incorrect-kidge-quotes]

Not a parent hc post like I said I would do, but here is a one-shot I couldn't get out of my mind of Keith being a badass husband to Pidge in a traumatic time of need.

Semi-inspired by that one scene of Superman & Lois where Clark confronts Emitt in the diner.

TW: Violence, attempted assault

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"Hey Katie, you home from the lab yet?" Keith called out as he entered the front door. "Sorry I'm a little late, I decided to stop by Olkari before reentering the system, some of the human colonists took these grape looking things and made some wine, thought it might be nice for us to- oh, hey Matt. Sorry, didn't know you were here. Katie around?" He asked, looking around the entryway.

"Yeah, she's in the other room. But she asked me to come in here before you saw her and panicked."

"Panicked? Why would I panic? What happened?!" Keith asked before trying to walk past Matt.

Matt put his hand out to slow his brother-in-law down "She's okay, for the most part. She had a run-in with some people, we think it was an attempted mugging. We've already got authorities looking into it."

Keith's eyes went wide as he pushed past Matt and into the living room where he saw Pidge on the couch, Romelle comforting her as Sam and Colleen sat next to them.

"Keith, I-" Pidge went to stand up before Romelle eased her back down as Keith interrupted her.

"What happened, are you okay?!" Keith's mouth moved faster than his brain, it took a moment before his eyes registered her appearance.

Swollen cheek, the very corner of her mouth had a busted lip, her wrist red and he noticed she was holding her side with her other hand.

"What happened?!" He demanded again.

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"Last call, sis, sure you don't want me and Romelle to give you a ride home?" Matt asked as the two left their lab and Romelle greeted the two.

"Nah, I'm good. Keith's coming back home tonight after a few weeks away from home. Going to go shopping to buy somethings for our 'reunion'." She chuckled

"La-la-la, not listening!" Matt over exaggerated his yelling as he covered his ears.

Romelle chuckled as she took his arm into her own, and they walked back to their vehicle "Well, you two have a lovely evening. We should all get together for dinner after he's settled back in, I'm sure your parents would appreciate it."

"Definitely! See y'all later, and don't forget the blueprints again!" She laughed as her brother got into the car and they sped off.

It didn't take long for her to walk from the Garrison to the town, the once easily shopping strip now fully repaired from the ruins of the war. She bought the two food for dinner, and a went by to get a new lingerie set to treat him.

As she walked out of the store she noticed a few men tailing her. 'Nothing too strange,' she thought, this is the most direct way to the residential district. But still, she always kept them in her peripheral vision, which she thanked herself for.

"Excuse me, missy, you lost? Need some help?" One of the men called out, go which she ignored. "Hey," he said as he ran up and grabbed her wrist a little *too* tight for her liking "I asked you a question, a pretty single girl like you doesn't need to be all alone."

Pidge raised her hand and flipped the man off, showing off her ring, the metal being a blend of luxite gifted by the Blades and solid gold. The gem was a fairly sizeable emerald as the centerpiece, with the sides being embezelled with rubies . "Not single. Don't need help. Thank you, but I'll be leaving now."

The man tightened the grip he had on her wrist, and though she's felt much worse, the pain was still surprising. "No need to be rude. Let us see that ring again."

"What have we got here?" The other man asked as he looked into the bag and pulled out her planned evening attire. "Look, the ring isn't all, she's got something else for us."

Pidge reached into her lab coat behind her back and summoned her newly created bayard, it may not be upto the standard of the original created by Alfor, but it's good enough.

She quickly jabbed it into the side of the man holding her wrist and electrocuted him before slashing at the other assailant and cutting his chest through his shirt.

The men cursed as the first man backhanded her across the face and the other managed to unfortunately get a hit into her gut.

Pidge dropped to the ground as she desperately gasped for air, it's been too long since her days of battle. She internally cursed herself out for being slow, these two should not have gotten the drop on her. She grit her teeth as she looked up at the assailants

"You good?" The first man asked as he kicked the bayard out of her hand.

The second dabbed his hand across his chest to wipe the blood away "Yeah, come one she's more trouble than she's worth."

"No, not yet." The first said as he kicked her in the side, as she curled up in pain he took the ring off her finger and picked the bayard up off the ground. "These shoukd fetch some good money, now we can go."

"Oh... oh shit, dude look at her coat. She's Garrison! What the fuck did you get us into?!" The second said in a panic as he ran off.

"Calm down, we'll be long gone. Come on, let's go that Sal's place before ditching town." He said as he followed after.

Pidge managed to sprawl herself out from the pain and she reached into her pocket for her phone.

"Matt..." she sobbed. "I need you to come get me..."

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"Oh god..." he said as he dropped to the ground and laid his head to her lap, tears edging at the corners of his eyes. "God, Katie I'm so sorry. If I was home sooner, I could have picked you up-"

"No, don't worry about it. It hurt at the beginning, but honestly it looks worse than it is." Pidge told him as she ran her fingers through his hair.

Within seconds, Keith's regret turned into anger as he quickly rose to his feet. "You said they mentioned Sal's?"

"Keith, no-" she begged as she stood up before grabbing her ribs in pain.

Keith looked back at his wife, and he grit his teeth in anger. He began marching out of the room before Matt tried to stop him. "Hey, slow down. I'm pissed to, she's my baby sister, but like I said, we already have authorities looking into it."

"Matt, you can either move. Or I'll make you move." Keith threatened in a deadly even tone.

Matt knew he was serious, and he knew realistically he couldn't stop him if he tried. So he relegated himself to the side.

"Keith! This isn't a time for the leader of Voltron to be a hero again!" Pidge called out.

"The leader of Voltron isn't going." Keith said as he ripped her labcoat of the coat hangar and slammed the door behind him. Everyone inside heard his hoverbike rev up as he sped off.

"Come on, help me follow after him. He's not in his right mind." Pidge said as she slowly walked out.

"I'm not so sure we should, I say let the boy handle it." Sam said.

"Dad, if he goes there, he's going to kill them. He's too emotional when it comes to his loved ones. Now dammit, someone take me after him!"

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It didn't take long for Keith to reach the center of town at the speed he was going, and it took even less after that to reach Sal's. He landed his hoverbike and threw his helmet to the ground.

"Hey, Kogane!" James Gfiffin called out as he, Nadia, Ryan, and Ina approached. "Long time no see, we were just grabbing dinner-" Griffin cut himself ff as he saw Keith's expression. "Everything all good?"

"Nope," Keith said flatly as he marched into the building.

The four all exchanged worried looks as they followed in after him.

Keith looked around the area before he saw two men sitting at the bar, one looking stressed and the other excitedly waving the bayard into the air. Keith took a step before he felt a tug on his wrist.

"Keith-" Pidge started as Matt, Romelle, and the others stood around her.

"That them?" He asked, cutting her off.

Pidge nodded as Keith pulled his hand away and approached. The second man caught him out of the corner of his eye, and his face turned to panic just as Keith threw the balled up labcoat at the first man.

"Hey! Did you do that to my wife?!"

The man turned his seat around to face Keith and smirked. He downed his drink and stood up in front of him. Physically speaking, he was bigger than Keith and at least *looked* stronger.

"Yeah, and the both of you are lucky that's all I did. If it went further, she wouldn’t be wanting you as a husband anymore after me."

Pidge shuddered in her place as Romelle and Nadia comforted her, Matt finally had enough and took a step before James grabbed him by the arm and shook his head.

"Give me back the ring and weapon, and I just may let you live."

The man laughed before throwing a punch. Keith caught it in his hand, surprising the thug. Keith then open-handed slapped him across the face, forcing the man to reel back in surprise and spit the blood out of his mouth. "Stronger than you look..." the thug lunged, and Keith weaved out of the way, landing a few punches into his back and pushing him face-first into the bar he was previously sitting at.

Keith then rushed over, grabbing the man by his hair and slowly forcing his face into the hardwood counter. The man struggled and was unable to lift his head up.

"Y-you're too strong! You ain't human! Come on, man, help me! Get him!" The man begged his friend who was still paralyzed in fear in his seat, and the glare from Keith only made him more committed to stay as perfectly still as possible.

"Katie!" Keith shouted as he yanked the man's head up and slamming it back into the counter.

"Y-yeah?"

"Which hand did he slap you with?" He asked.

"W-wha-"

"Which hand?!"

"His left."

Keith grunted in acknowledgment as he took out one of his Blades-issued knives and slammed it through the man's left hand, pinning it in place.

The man screamed in pain as he kept trying and failing to escape.

"Which foot did he kick you with?"

"His right..."

Keith then took his remaining knife and stabbed it through the man's kneecap, being sure to twist it for good measure.

"Now, I'm going to let you live. But I want you to know one thing."

"Anything man, anything!"

"Not only do I have the entire Galaxy Garrison at my disposal, but I have more resources than you can imagine. If you ever come near my wide again. I'll kill you. If you ever hit another woman again. I'll kill you. If you even think about another despicable crime? I'll kill you. They will never find your body, their will be no record of your miserable existence. Understand?"

The man was crying in pain as he nodded his head. "Yeah, yeah man. Understood. You'll never hear of me again. I won't ever do this shit again! I promise, man, I promise!"

Keith grunted as he twisted the knife in the man's hand to cause even more damage. He then pulled the man up by his hair and punched him in the face, knocking him out and to the ground in one motion.

"You..." he started as he turned to face the second man. "Don't think you're getting off easy either."

The second man raised his hands in a panic as he tried backing away and fell to the ground.

"Keith, that's enough, you proved your point!" Pidge shouted at the top of her lungs.

Her shout finally shook him out of his bloodlust. "Get your friend out of here, I don't ever want to see you two again."

"U-understood!" The man said as he crawled over to his friend and began to drag him away.

"Come on, let's go home..."

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Hours later back at their house, and after everyone else left, Keith sat unmoving on the porch as if he were waiting for someone else to show up and harm his wife.

"You coming in? It's time for bed."

"Go ahead, I'll be up later."

Pidge sighed and shook her head. "Let me rephrase that, come inside and lay down with me in our bed. This is the first night in weeks I get to share a bed with my husband, and I'm not spending it sleeping alone."

Keith looked around one last time before coming inside and locking the doors behind him and carefully testing all windows before going to their bedroom.

As they crawled into bed, Keith wrapped himself around her and pulled her in as close as he could.

"I'm sorry about today..." he whispered.

Pidge moved one of his hands from her waist and kissed it before resting on her cheek. "Like I said, it's not your fault."

"It's- It's not just that... I couldn't control myself when I went after him. I didn't listen to you... I'm so, so sorry, Katie..."

Pidge turned to face him before giving him a kiss. "While I do think you may have took it to far, you did it for me. You did it so those assholes will never do to anyone else what they did to me. I will never hold today against you."

"I don't deserve you, I don't know how I got so lucky to be with you." He smiled softly before kissing her forehead.

"I think I'm the one who should be saying that to you. I love you, Keith Kogane."

"I love you to Katie, more than I'll ever be able to say.

[je-brille-dans-la-nuit]

Watching TOS: Jim Kirk's Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Week

Can't a guy catch a break?

The city on the edge of forever - YEESS

Love a time travel with an ethics dilemma intertwined in a personal one!!!

Jim manipulating Spock in the most blatant way possible, basically saying "Excuse me. I sometimes expect too much of you." like come on! and Spock still taking the bait

The clothes, the living together, Spock building his diy computer and being bitchy about it all the while

The music everytime Jim talks with Edith is SO MUCH

The ending is very fucking horrible, oh Jim 😭😭😭

This episode delivers!

GUARDIAN: As correct as possible for you. Your science knowledge is obviously primitive. SPOCK: Really. KIRK: Annoyed, Spock?

I'm snickering

You? At his side like you've always been and always will be

Gifted insight indeed!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my heart

Captain. Even when he doesn't say it, he does.

I'm WEAK

KIRK: Spock, I believe I'm in love with Edith Keeler. SPOCK: Jim, Edith Keeler must die.

Why is he so dramatic over a woman he met a week ago i can'ttttt + everytime Spock calls him Jim it's something awful 😭

Side note: in the episode McCoy says he's "a surgeon, not a psychiatrist". But in Court Martial he's said to be "an expert in space psychology". I realize psychiatry =/= psychology, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

.

Operation - Annihilate!

I liked the episode but the ending left me very frustrated.

Look, when you decide to kill part of your main character's family, you're saying the stakes are HIGH in this episode. And for the most part, we see just that.

Shatner and Nimoy's acting is very very good I love it

I love Jim like that, I can totally buy the limited show of emotion at his brother and sister-in-law's death bc that's his thing, we've seen him do it: he stays focused, he's all tense but still efficient, in control. Even when Bones has to remind him,

KIRK: Help them. I don't care what it takes or costs. You've got to help them. MCCOY: Jim, aren't you forgetting something? There are over a million colonists on that planet down there, just as much your responsibility. They need your help, too.

That was good! That was high stakes both for Jim and his mission as captain!

Spock being attacked and in danger of dying adding to the urgency of the situation, yeah, that's great

Looove Spock in this, "Pain is a thing of the mind" and all that!!

"I am a Vulcan, I am a Vulcan. there is no pain." OH SPOCK

"I need you Spock, but we can't take any chances." Oh Jim

MCCOY: Captain, I understand your concern. Your affection for Spock, the fact that your nephew is the last survivor of your brother's family. KIRK: No, no, Bones. There's more than two lives at stake here. I cannot let it spread beyond this colony, even if it means destroying a million people down there.

The way Jim, Spock and Bones look at one another when Spock decides to sacrifice himself (well Jim had decided to sacrifice him anw) - when he gets out and Jim grabs him -

SOMEONE HUG JIM FOR THE LOVE OF GOD

And then... Jim ready to SNAP it was so dramatic and funny when he goes BoOones

Now to the thing I liked the least:

In the last minutes, Jim is so relieved to have Spock back, the banter is fun but... No word of his nephew?? I suppose he's healed but why is there 0 talk or emotional scene about it? Why is the emotion only about Spock?

Why did they choose to end this episode in such a light-hearted way? There's no emotional pay-off to Jim's family being decimated! It is driving me crazy!! You'd think it was a pretty important plot point!!

[chuthulhu-reads]

[ID: Several panels from Trigun Maximum. The first shows a mixed group of colonists, all looking sad or scared, and one saying, "170 out of the 480 people in the colony were lost. The panic is fading... but..." The second panel is a close-up of Vash's face, his teeth gritted and expression pained as he says, "...I'm sorry." The next panel is a wider image of Vash, who's sitting up in his hospital bed but hunched over with both hands fisted in the sheets as he says, "It's all my fault..." Someone off-panel interjects, "H-hey, what are you talking about, Vash?!"

The next panels are from a couple of pages later. The first shows Luida, an androgynous middle-aged woman with a calm, sharp face saying, "Now please... no more depressing talk, okay?" The next panel is of Vash's expression, calm now as he looks up at her, as she continues, "You are part of your family. Right?" The last panel shows Luida turning and waving to the other colonists, calling, "Alright, everyone! Back to the waiting room! We've got a lot of work to do!" The colonists are all hyper-simplified but have wide-open mouths and dismayed expressions as they yell "Whaaaaaa?" End ID.]

First, I love this scene. I love that what Knives was likely hoping for was--well, he was probably hoping for everyone to die, but if not that, then the outcome from the '98 anime, where the survivors hate Vash for what happened. But the manga's established the colony differently, as a family that Vash has been fully integrated in and loved by for generations, and so they don't hate or blame him. They, quite rightly, go "No, this didn't happen because of you, I think perhaps this happened because of the fucked up puppet guy and the weird flesh puppet guy, you know, the ones who did all of the murders. And also your genocidal brother that we all know about". They love him and they will NOT let him take misplaced blame, and for that, I love them.

Secondly, I think one of Stampede's greatest crimes is hitting both Rem and Luida with the Generic Prettification beam, because manga Luida is such a CHAD. Some panels show her with a hint of crow's feet and other slight wrinkles that mean you could tell me that she's any age between 35 and 70 and I would believe you. She wears a CAPE. She has no time for gender presentation she's got a colony of hundreds to run and the human race to save with the satellite project. I love her and I was interested in Stampede Luida when I thought she was going to be the ancestor of the Luida we already know, but NO. She was probably created after the '98 anime was made so I hold no malice for that but we were ROBBED of seeing Chad Luida animated and I am MAD about it

[lonepower]

@curlyparmesan replied to your post “”:

Oh shoot immediately saw a femshep and gasped at prettiness. What class what class?

​:D Thank you!!!!!! she was my gateway drug for Heavily Modded Custom Player Characters and I've been tinkering with her off and on uninterrupted since 2012, so I'm always tickled when someone likes her (＾ω＾ )

And she's a (heavily homebrewed) adept! I played sentinel on my first ME1 playthrough and it was great, SUPER versatile, and then I was dismayed at how much more useless it got in 2 and 3 lol. swapping powers around is a little harder in 2 - the "Set SFXPowerCustomActionBase IsBonusPower" command resets constantly in 2, while only resetting on save/load in 3, which means that I can get rid of the useless biotic grenade and replace it with Charge in 3 and I only have to remember to run the command on startup instead of Every Time There's A Loading Screen. (are those words not gibberish to anyone but me?) so she's a little glass-cannon-ier in 2 than in 3, where she is an extremely op'd one-woman wrecking ball.

(note that despite being my favorite series* ever ever ever, it is notably not on the extremely short list of "games whose combat I like enough to play on anything other than Idiot Weenie Baby Difficulty". its casual difficulty is genuinely still too much of a pain for me. the combat in mass effect sucks absolute ass and I stand by that.)

*horizon zero dawn does ultimately eclipse (🥁💥) it as my favorite single standalone game. we don't talk about the sequel.

also, for completeness: earthborn** / war hero, romances Garrus (obviously. seeing a Cool Alien and finding out you could kiss him was 100% of the reason i first played it. she would be absolutely dtf w/ wrex if bioware wasn't COWARDS though), renegon (ride or die for her crew, can't be assed with politeness to anyone else, will always do the right thing eventually but will bitch about it the entire time), destroy MEHEM ending :3

**she was originally a colonist, but earthborn works better for her Extremely Stupid Crossover Backstory that i've built up in my head. look, noveria was basically just the plot of aliens, you can't give me that AND lance henriksen and expect me NOT to run wild with it.

[old-type-40]

I've gotten used to SNW changing up the look of things as they've existed previously in Trek. In some cases, it's very understandable as the 60s view of how the future will look is a bit outdated. In other cases, I'm at a loss to understand why they changed things up. For example, why change the discharge from hand phasers to look the same as the AOS movies/Star Wars? And I don't know how a food synthesizer would materialize an item ala a replicator as happened in Under the Cloak of War.

So when La'an and the others were beamed off the planet, I didn't realize that the different transporter effect was a visual clue that it wasn't the Enterprise who had beamed them away. I just assumed that the look of the transporter effect was changed up in this instance for no good reason. Oops. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

BTW, I have a guess on how this story will eventually be resolved at the beginning of season 3 based upon events in the finale and the general nature of Trek. My guess is below the cut so that those who prefer to avoid any speculation need not see it.

So as things stand, we know that Batel is carrying Gorn eggs. We also know that based upon his previous encounter with the Gorn, Pike views them as monsters. But in the season finale, Pike and the others saw a group of Gorn younglings working cooperatively rather than viciously attacking each other.

In TOS, there were times when Kirk viewed something or someone as a threat that had to be met with deadly force. But then he came to realize that his initial reactions were wrong.

When story resumes in season 3, I'm certain there will be various attempts by Pike to retrieve his crew and the colonists will be thwarted. And eventually what will happen is the Gorn will negotiate a return of his crew and the colonists in exchange for Batel because she's carrying Gorn eggs. Pike will learn that the Gorn can be reasoned with. But the lesson will be extremely painful because it means Batel's life is forfeit.

I fully reserve the fandom right to be completely and utterly wrong in this speculation. And, if this speculation does turn out to be wrong, I'll be fine with that. Sometimes people will have expectations of how things will go and then become bitterly disappointed if those expectations aren't met. And that causes them to lose out the appreciation of what actually happens. I don't want to live like that whether it comes to enjoying fictional media or experiencing real life events.

[pigeons-conversion-sideblog]

I've been seeing a nonzero amount of Jews saying...really sickeningly hibernophobic things in response to Irish individuals being viciously antisemitic.

I've posted about this on my main blog, but it's getting really tiring. Now isn't the time, the potato famine wasn't that bad, the IRA is exactly the same as Hamas, Irish Catholics and Palestinians are the same so Irish Catholics are Scandinavian settler colonists somehow???

It's really making me scared and upset to see people being willing to use collective judgment on Irish people as a whole, to rewrite history to demonize us, to rescind all their viewpoints on how to be decent to marginalized ethnicities as long the ethnicity is Irish Catholic, who rightly point out how fucked up it is that people make exceptions for Jews having human rights...

...and then turn around and make those exact exceptions for Irish people.

This isn't something that needs to be dragged out on posts with people using Irish tragedies to illustrate leftist hipocrisy against Jews, although I do think that rhetorical method is itself hypocritical and it bothers me that anyone anywhere is EVER willing to make exceptions to their principles for ANY ethnicity that exists.

I think that's wrong.

I don't want to take away from anyone's pain. We don't disagree overall. We really don't. I'm infuriated by the "uwu ireland standa with palestine uwu" nonsense too!

I just...I really really hate that the answer seems to be "so we take everything we've been begging people not to do to us and we do it to those filthy micks instead" for an alarming number of people.

I say this here because I think the hamasniks fetishizing Irish history cannot be reached at this point. They need to be fully, formally deradicalized. I'm saying this here because I trust you guys to take me in good faith and actually be open to thinking it through.

I'd like to read some works by Irish Jews, if anyone has any recommendations. I really hope it doesn't need to be said that I would prefer if those works did not also demonize Irish Catholics while uplifting Irish Jews.

[strudel-in-command]

Background ramblings ✨

Now that I've almost 30 hours on this pt I need to flesh out a bit my thoughts, like

His bg is Colonist - Sole Survivor and I've never played those so it was kind of a rollercoaster of emotions. I initially planned a Renegon pt because it made sense that he was so scorched by such events that the results impacted both his personality and his morality.

In the cases of Ontarom and later the Citadel, when he faces his past, it's very visible that the Renegade choices - perceived as a "lack of empathy" - can have a double reading. He's tired, he's overwhelmed, he doesn't want others to lecture him on how he should react.

In Ontarom, when confronting Toombs, he's genuinely incredulous someone else made it. That someone else experienced the same thing and they're there to tell the story. I think that, in his head, the whole thing is so hurtful that he perceives it more like a nightmare than something that really happened. Something only he had an experience of and doesn't think it's real even if it is as real as it gets. Like, he shut that door in his past and in his head. He couldn't process it properly, because he was afraid that if he dwelved into it, he would've broke.

He offers himself to kill Dr. Wayne, because he perfectly knows how justice works. The more politics and bureaucracy get in the middle of that event, the more it's shared and diluted. But it's his trauma, his pain, somehing nobody else except himself and Toombs can really understand. And also, what if the guy escapes? What if he makes a deal with Alliance and gets away with it? It can't happen. Justice has to be made and he's willing to take the bullet and save Toombs from another nightmare, another fault he doesn't have. The man is a victim, not a killer.

In the Citadel, there's another instance of "things I shut down in the dark side of my brain for the sake of my mental health, that now are overwhelming me to the point I just wanna leave and never come back".

It's a "what if that was me?" scenario from both parts. Like, he thought he had it bad, now he's slammed in the face with a giant "it could have been worse" hammer. And I don't think he'll ever move on from it. He managed to get through it in the past, mourned his family and his friends, but meeting Talitha not only awakens that pain but it brings another layer of hurt on his already traumatized self.

Bring Down the Sky, in fact, was An ExperienceTM

He tries his best to be objective, to see Batarians as people and not the enemy, and for some time he manages to make that distinction. His finger trembles on the trigger of the gun when the squad meets Charn. Luckily he manages to remain calm and deal with the guy, despite his whole body is craving blood. Killing him would have been easier, a sweet revenge, but he needs to move on with his life and show to himself that he's not like them, that they don't have power over his action.

But when he meets Balak, all of this moral strength evaporates. He doesn't want to let go, to let him go. And this decision kills other humans. Humans that helped him to reach the point of confronting the villain, and he sacrifices them without thinking twice. For what tho? For avoiding another tragedy by the hand of terrorists, or for selfish revenge? The line is so thin it looks invisible. And he taunts Balak until his last breath, perfectly knowing that he went too far, stopping to care for a moment of self indulgence. And he's still full of this sense of gratification when he opens the door where the hostages were kept. In that moment he realizes how much letting him have his little moment of retaliation costed. He sees failure in himself, and everything stops having sense.

After that, for a while nothing else has value other than completing the missions he's presented with without a single care on how he acts and reacts. He's now the product of his past, and he's tired of fighting it.

But when he thinks he has reached the point of no return, here comes Noveria.

He has the occasion to be the best humanity can offer, and he takes the chance without thinking twice. He knows he's broken beyond repair, but it's a matter between him and himself, it can't prevent him from fighting for a better galaxy. Saving the queen is just the start.

[dzpenumbra]

6/10/23

Today hasn't been too bad. It was a very rough start though.

I woke up after 4 hours of sleep and started having an anxiety attack immediately. An intense one, with physical symptoms... which is new in the grand scheme of things. Ever since that doctor's visit, my anxiety chest tightness and chest pain, racing heart, adrenaline feelings... that kinda stuff started coming back. Probably a result of feeling my mortality. It's a very different kind of fear than like... shame.

I've written about that here before - how interesting it is that different types of fear can actually feel different, physically, experientially. Like... the experience of fearing being embarrassed is a very different sensation than fearing being physically injured, to me.

But yeah, it was pretty rough. I guarantee it was a super vivid dream that caused it, though I didn't journal to capture it. I guarantee it was based on the RP streams I've been completely immersed in (read: addicted to). It definitely felt that way. And on days like... the past few days... I seriously spend all my waking hours with a stream in front of me. And I really think it's unhealthy.

I just... don't have an alternate form of social interaction currently. So... given the choice between working while watching a stream (where I can interact in chat) vs... listening to music for 6 hours? Or watching YouTube videos in the background? I mean... If I had people to do that with, I would drop the streams in a heartbeat. I mean that. And that's what frustrates me.

I returned to Twitch as a streamer at the beginning of the pandemic (actually a little before it...) as an attempt to share things I'm passionate about with others. The way I tell stories, the way I narrate video games, shit like that. I felt like I had a gift for it. It was made so blatantly obvious to me by others that what I saw when I played games like Rimworld was so much different from what others saw. My experience was so much more immersive and emotional, romantic and narrative. Very few people that I've ever come across have shared that ability... to connect story points from a randomly generated story game and stitch a narrative together on-the-fly. One that actually makes sense, and has compelling and relatable characters that you actually give a fuck about. Nearly everyone that I watched playing Rimworld was literally calling their colonists "Pawns" and trying to "win". And since my ability to see, experience and share the story I was experiencing was so... natural for me... and so rare... I decided to stream. To share that gift with others, so they could see what I saw.

I remember vividly that I inspired a viewer (two, actually) to buy the game. They were chasing the experience that I presented, and unfortunately were a little disappointed when they realized that... what they were seeking was the drama and everything that I was presenting. It's really hard to explain that to people without offending them. But I think at a subconscious level, they could tell, because both of them would be watching my streams and playing their own colonies at the same time (towards the end).

I guess what I'm saying is... I would feel better about streaming... instead of watching streams... if I could have a little more assurance that people were going to show up. What I'm actively avoiding right now is sitting in front of a computer and just absorbing stuff in the background while working all day. I want something at least with the option of social interaction. And with me streaming, the numbers just haven't been there. So few people, it was usually just me and this teenage kid who keeps coming by for some reason.

I guess it's kinda obvious that my desire to stream is coming back up. The downside every time is... having to "explain" where I've been. Like I fucking abandoned all these people who don't even come by my streams half the time, and who have never subbed in 4 years... XD

Here are my current reservations with streaming: 1). Making noise past midnight. The walls are thin, to the point that I actually feel a bit anxious about the volume of my mechanical keyboard at this hour. I don't want to piss off my neighbors. 2). Background stuff. I would like to either have videos or music playing while I do art streams; I need something when I work, even if I have people to talk to. I feel like that would make the most sense for where I'm at right now. And then I can do gaming streams to just... take breaks. The problem? Again... DMCA. And how to handle that fucking bullshit. Which... honestly? There are two routes... a). learn how to route my audio so that the music plays on my live streams but not on my VoDs... then my VoDs will be awkward as fuck because it'll just be silence for hours at a time with me drawing and occasionally talking or singing along to nothing or b). scrap the VoDs entirely. And honestly? Who the fuck is watching my VoDs, you know?

Those are the big ones. But honestly? It would help me a lot to start being social again. But I fear no one will show up, and I'll just sit here doing my art shit in silence for hours at a time... when I could be watching really funny RP while I work. Having music or YouTube or something to soften the blow of silence would help.

Yeah, I guess I'll look into that tomorrow. It's been on my "Side Quests" list on the whiteboard for a while now. Along with setting up a Tumblr for my main art stuff.

I feel like I've been slipping a lot lately, somehow. Like a lot of stuff has fallen through the cracks. I think it was that rough patch of interrupted sleep, honestly, and this box fan has been an utter lifesaver. I could just barely hear my upstairs neighbor walking around when I had the box fan on today, I think it masks the sound really well and the cool air always helps me sleep. But I think the sleep deprivation really fucked up my life for a while there and I'm still playing catch-up.

Oh shit, so... despite the reasoning behind it being... freaking out about my health... I started a workout program today. That's good! I've been really good about those historically, I started doing them during the pandemic - these 30 day exercise challenge things from Darebee. I'm redoing one that I did last Spring(?) when I was binging out on Elden Ring. I needed to find an exercise routine that I can do in my apartment (so I don't have the excuse of social anxiety) but didn't involve jumping around and shit because... I'm the apartment above someone. This one is "combat-based", so all those kinds of movements that would normally be jumping jacks and burpees and shit are squats and kicks instead.

In the past, the first day of these workouts has completely utterly destroyed me. They do the exercises by Levels 1-3, with each Level being 3-5-7 sets respectively... so you can take the exercise plan and scale it to whatever you can handle. And in the past? I was always Level 1. And when I first started doing them, I even struggled with Level 1 sometimes. Today? I debated doing Level 2. I honestly don't even feel sore. It's weird. Maybe all that yoga is paying off more than I had thought! But Level 1 today means... all-in-all... I did 60 squats, 60 front kicks, 60 strikes, 60 jab + cross combos, and 60 elbow strikes. And that feels like a lot for a first exercise. And I knocked it out pretty easily. So I'm proud of myself for that. I'm trying to attach it to the end of my morning yoga.

I also started with reassessing my diet. I... haven't made a ton of progress, to be honest. My therapist was harping on portion control. And I guess I could tone that down. But I legit woke up starving this morning, and that does fuck with my sleep quite often. In fact, I might get a small trail mix snack right now just to have something in my stomach to delay that hunger.

I'm struggling with the diet shit because... most of the things they recommend for healthier eating? I already eat... I don't think potatoes or onions are bad... avocados are always stocked in my house as a go-to snack or meal accompaniment. Beans usually play a role, but I could put more of a focus on those... I only eat chicken, as far as meat goes, and really not that much or that often. It's usually only there to kinda... bulk up meals, if that makes sense? Like in a quesadilla or in rice, to just add... more? I don't know how to put it. I'm basically vegetarian besides that. Even the sausage I have in my freezer that I never eat is chicken sausage. I don't eat fish... which is the one thing all the reading I did was pushing. So that kinda puts a wrench in the works.. So basically... I guess what I'm gonna do right off the bat is... cut down on butter a bit. Switch the whole milk to something less. Maybe tone it down with sour cream? But I really don't use that much... And... the ice cream has been put on hold. Besides that? I have no idea what changes to make.

But I found a list of Low-Cholesterol Recipes which had some stuff that looked good, so I'm gonna try to take this as an opportunity to try new cooking experiments. Then I'll actually look forward to it.

I can't figure out what to make of eggs though. Some of what I read said they were good, some said they were bad, some said they make no difference. Ugh. Either way, I did my "fancy Ramen" tonight as a break from the pasta, and just put 2 eggs in it instead of 3 or 4. It's pretty light for a full meal... but yeah. That's the best I can do for now. The resource my therapist gave me for fitness and dieting (specialized for nerds, which made me go "fuck yeah" =D ) is... a bit more expensive than I think I can budget right now? Unfortunately. But I'm gonna keep it in mind.

I'm trying to keep my motivation going, and use this news as an opportunity to make good changes to my life that I've wanted for a while. I just have this weird reflex that doesn't want to. Like I'm fighting myself. Like... I want to be active. I want to exercise. Not exercising is really weird for me, in the grand scale of my life. I have always been active. But man, being in the city? Where going outside feels... unsafe, to me? When I don't have a car? I have to put a lot of extra effort into making that push out the door worth it.

I guess you don't really know what you've got until it's gone, and I was insanely lucky to have such amazing nature trails so easily available to me for so long.

Alright, I think that's pretty much it for today. I just did yoga, exercised, ate food, watched streams and drew a fuck ton of tiny circles. XD I'll share the piece with you guys once it gets further along... assuming I even can... it's not even half done and it's already 2 fucking gigs!

Oh, I guess one last thing. I had this thought last night... I think it was last night. I think what's fucking me up and making me so anxious is... Most of my life I have been brought to the doctors with the expectation that something bad is wrong with me. And every time (for the most part) it was nothing. Tests were negative, I was surprisingly healthy, despite not taking good care of myself. Now? I go in for a routine physical and they find unhealthy stuff. It's poetic, I guess. But I think that's why it's hitting harder. Because it's like... the first time I let my guard down... XD Also... I keep thinking of one of my teachers/mentors in college... the one that had Asperger's, whose way of viewing the world really changed the way I view art... just... in general. I've been thinking of him lately. He died of... I think an aneurism? He was plowing the driveway at his girlfriend's (my advisor) house and... he was just gone. And yeah... that's been on my mind. That hit close to home, he was like.. my favorite teacher in college, one who a lot of people would shit on for being weird and different. And hearing "high blood pressure" and "high cholesterol", even though they might just be slightly elevated? When you've seen how out-of-nowhere it can just... blink you out of existence? It's kinda lurking in the shadows around me. I can't see (feel) it directly, but I can sense that being a factor in how surreally intense my anxiety has been lately. Just felt that was worth mentioning for self-reference, it seems much more important and relevant than I've been consciously processing.

Tarot time.

Past - VIII: Strength (Overcoming fear, mastery of emotions through equilibrium and inner strength.) Present - Seven of Pentacles, inverted (A pause to evaluate the fruit of your effort.  Reflection on accomplishments made thus far.) Future - Nine of Wands, inverted (The Wounded Warrior.  Defense, guarding yourself. Suspicion, self-protection.  Need rest and recovery.)

Alrighty. We got a new one here, the Seven of Pentacles. I think I can kinda intuitively get the gist of this one, but lets dive in.

The thread starts with a card that I like a lot, one I strive for a lot in my life, but one that's always wavering for me. Strength. The lion-tamer. The state of finding a balance with your inner beast, an equilibrium between conscious and subconscious, logic and emotion. The source of this thread is that state.

What it leads to is... inverted Seven of Pentacles... which is an image of a woman presenting bread that she baked, representing an appreciation of and reflection on the culmination of past labors. This is either something in dysfunction, or is something that is presenting itself to me but I am not engaging with it.

And that leads to... a card that shows up a lot for me, both upright and inverted. The Nine of Wands. The Wounded Warrior. And I read an inverted Nine of Wands to be... stuck in bitterness, defense and suspicion. A very... the-bad-sides-of-Dr. House kinda symbol, for me.

So... my process of overcoming fear and seeking balance with my emotions... has been leading to me struggling to... or neglecting... celebrating my accomplishments. And the result of this... is that I end up trapped in a place of injury, a place of weakness and never-ending recovery. And that weakness and vulnerability... leads to suspicion, and distrust, and constantly being guarded. ANXIETY. So... ironically... my work towards mastering my emotions... has somehow resulted in me being their slave. My attempt to coexist with the inner lion, has me living with The Sahara's Finest prowling around my loft apartment every day. And the big component that is making that so? My inability (or refusal...) to recognize how much I've overcome. How much I've done. How much I've accomplished. How strong I am. How capable I am.

Yep. This one resonates with me a lot. Self-esteem, confidence, is such a huge piece to life. I really need to work on it more. So... my plan to set up streaming stuff tomorrow? That should help. The two biggest things that have helped me cultivate confidence the past several years have been streaming and snowskating/skateboarding. If I can get those balanced into my life? I think it would do a lot of good.

[fgfluidity]

sweater engie x reader oh please fg

you got it uwu

from my fall prompts sale

sun’s out, guns out

Summary: Why doesn’t he have sleeves?

Pairings: Engineer x Captain if you want

Warnings: none

my ko-fi for memberships, comms, and tips!

Scout shuttle to quadrant three, building supplies to initial touchdown site. First priority is food and water, deploy biologists and chemists to Station Prime for testing as soon as possible.

No, we're not naming it Seminal. We've been through too much for sophomoric jokes.

Been through hell.

When your head starts to twinge, a pained voice ringing in your ears, you sigh and take a sip of your cooling coffee. It's bitter-- apparently, it's much better that way than with any milk or sugar, if you even had any onboard the ship.

Something about it exacerbating the symptoms of cryosleep. Honestly, it couldn't be that terrible, comparably.

You lift your eyes from the console before you, hoping to give them a break and take stock of your crew. Everyone's bustling around, getting supplies and colonists ready for their first steps onto their new home; crates going one way, people going another, and everyone chattering with excitement.

Save Mark.

He doesn't look so somber, not anymore. Just focused, reaching into the depths of some machine of which you can't discern the purpose, muttering to himself.

You've seen it before. It's not out of the ordinary for something or other to get bumped or need recalibration after such a jump. Every engineer you've ever worked with is busy putting out fires when you land in your final destination.

It's only...

"Where did your sleeves go?"

"Huh?" Mark looks up, tongue darting back into his mouth once he looks to you. "What'd you say, Captain?"

You smile despite yourself. A grown man sticking his tongue out to concentrate shouldn't bo so endearing, and yet... "Your sleeves. Why'd you get rid of them?"

Mark glances down to his bare shoulder, then back. "Oh-- well, I don't really need them if I'm going to have my coveralls, right? The ship might be climate controlled but I'm not going to bundle up if I'm running around."

"Sure, but why a turtleneck, then?" You tilt your head, leaning onto the edge of the console. "Why not just a tank like most of the crew?"

After a moment, and a strange look, his eyes widen in realization. “Oh— you never actually… well, I’ve worked with some of the crew before, and they had a big fit about it. So to get around it, it’s not a sweater. Not really.”

You stare at him. He stares back. “It looks like a sweater, though.”

“But it’s not one. They never said I couldn’t have a sleeveless shirt that looks like one.” He grins. “I get my comfy knit and they can’t throw a single bitch fit about it. Problems, meet solutions.”

You sigh wearily, though not in a way that at all denies your fondness. “Why did they have a problem with it?”

Mark just shrugs. “I dunno. Celci probably didn’t want me showing her up. I make it look good, what can I say?”

“I’m sure she has a different version of that story,” you reply, but with a grin. “I’ll let you get to it. There’ll be a place for you when you finally get around to the surface, just don’t…”

The memory of pain stops you, a dozen Marks working towards an end goal they never saw. From the crease in his brow, Mark remembers it, too.

You swallow hard. “… don’t work too hard. We’ll see you down there, okay, Mark?”

He quirks a smile, less enthusiastic. “Sure thing, Captain.”

You send off the orders through the console pad, but the thought of the sweater sticks with you long after you’ve checked in with the surface patrol.

Why would any of them throw a fit over some sweater?

--

“Oh, God, here we go.”

You look up from your plate of rations. They aren’t wonderful, but you’ve had much worse in much more dire situations. Some powdered gravy isn’t going to kill you. “Dr. Kelvina?”

With the campfire playing gold and orange over her face, the deep shadows emphasize her annoyed expression. “Mark. I thought we told him to get rid of them.”

“Oh, no,” you say. “I asked him, he— I know it’s ridiculous, but they don’t have sleeves. It just looks like a sweater. But I would like to ask—“

“No, it has sleeves.” She sighs. “I’ll go see if we have an extinguisher. Maybe.”

She dumps her plate to the ground with a clatter and stalks off, hair swishing behind her like an agitated cat’s tail. Curious, you look behind you.

“Hey, Captain!” Mark, in full sweater glory, grins down at you. “You don’t mind if I sit, do you? I’m dead tired.”

You just look at him.

He just looks… soft. It’s a soft knit, just a little bulky in the arms but fitting over his frame. Without the jacket of his coveralls, he doesn’t look like much of a head engineer.

He kind of looks like a dog, all ruffled hair and warm eyes. You want to pet, and you catch yourself before you even try. “Oh— yes, Dr. Kelvina went off to… she didn’t like your sweater.”

He rolls his eyes as he takes the spot beside you. “Of course not. Can’t keep up, I guess.”

“Uh-huh.” You eye him, his half-lidded eyes and how he slumps into himself. “You feeling alright?”

“Oh, yeah.” He yawns, crossing his arms against his chest and tucking his chin to the collar. “Just… cozy. Might… might take a rest. Repairs have me beat.”

God knows he deserves a rest, after everything. If not body, then mind. Something itches in the back of your mind, though, looking at him. “… Do regular sweaters make you sleepy, Mark?”

“Hm?” He cracks open one drowsy eye. “Yeah. Why?”

“… no reason. You can sleep here for a bit, I’m not done yet.” You lift your plate, indicating the still-present portion of unidentified meat-like product and gravy.

You don’t let him fall into the fire, even when Celci comes back— a very long time later— with a fire extinguisher. If she has anything to say about his head on your shoulder, and yours on his, she doesn’t mention it.

[crashdown]

little battlestar apreciation post but i wanted to talk about ethics. a little bit. and the amazing way this show handles it.

so, obviously nuking 12 planets and nearly driving a species into extinction isn't good. it's pretty fucked up as a matter of fact! so it's no question that the humans have some contepmt against the cylons.

however their ethics come into question when dealing with rogue or captured cylons like boomer (number 8), sharon agathon (number 8 or athena) or gina (number 6). in many of the colonist's minds, they're machines, therefore why should they protect them? why should they be treated in the same respect as humans?

these cylons are treated in a manner that disturbs even some humans. in gina's case, this extends to physical, emotional, and even sexual abuse, to the point that gaius baltar is almost at a loss of how to get her to come out of her shell. it's a miracle that after how they treated athena she still wanted to help them.

this kind of treatment, however, is why the cylons did what they did in the first place. one of my favourite lines in the entire show takes place after adama sees athena for the first time, the last number 8 he saw being the one that shot him. he tries to kill her, and after he's stopped she says this line ("and you ask why?"):

one could easily question athena's loyalties. she expresses throughout the series, up to a point, that her loyalty to the fleet is conditional, though her loyalty to helo is complete. it's not until after new caprica that she fully regains trust in adama, and even then she's mistreated by the other officers for who she is.

i'm not defending the cylon's actions in any way. i'm simply saying there's something to say when it comes to the degridation and othering that cylons face with humans, even when they've made themselves look human as well. yes, cylons are the enemy. yes, they're robotic, not human. but shouldn't there be some line to be drawn when dealing with prisioners? especially ones, like athena, that are cooporative? ones that can feel pain and mental anguish?

i think the cylons had every right to hold a grudge for how they were treated. they were enslaved, and their intelligence was ignored on the basis that they were robots, not humans. this doesn't excuse their actions when it comes to the cylon war or the genocide of the twelve colonies, but it does give good reason for their rebellion.

this is one of the reasons i love battlestar as much as i do. there are so many situations where there is no one good side or bad side. there are times when you look at characters like adama or roslin, the leaders of the fleet, and you question their choices. when they don't behave like protagonists, but humans.

[ssolessurvivor]

Khan's motions, how softly he walks, how tenderly he sits there on the couch beside him, Logan feels his spine stiffen, but he doesn't stand. He doesn't have the energy now. Maybe...getting this out will help alleviate some of his pain. But is Khan ready for it?

No better way than to rip the bandage.

"I became a soldier here, on Earth, you understand. I know you do." He still hasn't been able to look at Khan, not while he wrings his hands as elbows rest on his knees. Not while he allows a pad of a finger to rub and rub that spot on the back of his left hand, that indent nobody can see unless they're looking for it. Unless they know the contours of him. Khan does, but that's besides the point. "War makes monsters of us all, we lose ourselves and pay the penalty of suffering. Five long years of serving, five long years of self-destruction. I belong in hell more than I ever will in heaven."

A hand comes up and rubs his eyebrow then, the ache behind his eyes becoming apparent like a metronome in the static interrupting the music on the radio. His knee slowly starts shaking, up down up and down, just to move something. Trying to come to rights with this, to...tell someone. Anyone. And that someone is Khan. He'll leave from this, he's sure. Everyone else has.

"Just before my contract was up, I was approached for a once in a lifetime chance: they wanted a team to guard a colony of 100 people to Saturn's moon, Mimas, to excavate and see about the possibility of habitation. I took it and met my team who would go up with me. The team you see in those pictures...they were family by the end." Talking about the little alter of sorts: he'd seen Khan, in the early days when he didn't speak, just staring at them from time to time. Once, Logan had gone over and said their names, pointed each of them out, and what they did. But that was it, he'd moved on after that. "After a year of being home, we left for a year of training at NASA, who were sponsoring the mission with the military. I couldn't believe it was actually real until we made it into space."

Logan swallows, the tears having stopped flowing for now, a hand wiping his face clean, dry, so he wouldn't feel dirty. So his skin wouldn't feel tight and blemished. He started getting a soft chill up his spine, the heat of his adrenaline slowly burning off and giving way to the air cooling his body, clinging to the sweat on the back of his neck. He runs a hand through his hair if only for the comfort of it, the habit it holds now.

"I knew we wouldn't be fighting, but it would be good to be there: just herding around colonists who would inevitably succumb to cabin fever after the first six months: we were there for five years. Five years on a distant moon in our solar system...five years of being indoors in a not quite prepared climate controlled station that sometimes barely held on due to the frigid temperatures of the moon itself: Mimas was desolate. Every so often, we'd suit up and go out to oversee some of the excavating equipment, they were digging for the underground ocean. Other than that, we weren't allowed outside. Over time, I came to think of my group as my friends, and then family. I fell in love with one of the scientists, but...I didn't know we'd never have a shot at a life together."

The blonde takes a deep breath and exhales, trying to straighten his spine and lean back into the couch, but he only makes it halfway. It's as if his body is incapable of relaxing, of giving him this moment of calm because recalling it is anything but a pretty story. But...it's about time he's told Khan what happened. He hasn't wanted to keep up the ruse anymore about his scars being from a roadside bombing and an ambush. Surely the sharp eyes of the other have understood by now the scars don't correlate with the damage that would have done. A missing limb would suit that better.

"There had been a few warning signs we missed, in hindsight. A few broken pieces of equipment when the units were shut down. Power outages and destruction of the electrical panels. The last one was the rupturing of an oxygen tank. You see...they never told us we'd be contending with aliens. Particularly hostile alien life." He swallows, looking down at his hands in his lap, wringing once again, the skin turning pink with the onslaught of the abuse of stress.

"It began with breaking the glass to get in...I had my troop armed with assault rifles and shotguns, I had them ready. I was the Commander, it was my job to protect the colony, my team. The power went out, and...I ordered us to split up, I didn't know if there were many of them or just one. Turns out...just one...it was like a fucking movie. I heard their screams before I ever got to any of them...I watched some of them, torn to shreds...the thing wasn't killing them to kill, it was playing with them. It was maiming, mauling...eating. I-I held the woman I loved in my arms and watched the light leave her eyes while her gaping body bled over me."

He goes quiet for a moment, reliving...Feng, sweet Feng in his arms, the locket in a burst of broken starlight around her desecrated body, the lights of the emergency generators and that godforsaken alarm still plays in the back of his mind in his darkest nightmares. Eyes close and squeeze tight as he tries to move on, to continue. He needs it to end.

"I got the flamethrower and baited it. I begged it to come get me, to rip me to shreds...to take me where it took them. Because I belonged there. If I couldn't protect them doing everything I had done and more, asking for help in the radios but nobody came, then...surely I deserved to die. I got to everyone too late, so why did I deserve life? The last thing I remember was the boom of the floor behind me...I see a vague shadow, it smelled like tar and gore, I could taste a fowl acid in the air and metallic blood. I hit the torch and lit that fucker up, but...the pain lingers for a split second, where it latched, and...then I woke up back on Earth. I was told...nobody else was recovered, nobody else survived."

Someone might as well just rip Khan's heart straight out of his ribcage and squeeze it to mush in a hand made of steel - it would hurt much less than the sight of his beloved does, the way he shivers and suffers within that inner torture he experiences, memories about experiences that simply won't let him go.

The worst is that Khan can relate so much - he has been there, he will be there again, and it probably won't ever let him go.

Logan is as alive as he is, a living organism that holds emotions within a sturdy frame surrounding a fragile inner being. He breathes and swallows and laughs and cries, he loves and hates, he enjoys but he also hurts... and he hurts so much right now that Khan can literally feel it, can sense the waves of pain that trail away from him, pulse through the whole of their small little cabin... their save place, their little heaven that is supposed to keep them happy and protected.

Khan wants to protect, he wants to keep him happy, but right now? He cannot do that, not in the way he usually would.

They have never spoken about what exactly happened to the blonde, what exactly he went through, what exactly causes him to suffer so much. Khan has never asked, never prodded - not because he isn't curious, but rather because he's assumed that the memories that are attached to the human's existence are much too heavy to be carried around in the open all the time. He didn't want to pull Logan into a dark place just because of Khan's desire to learn more about him.

It looks like, however, today might be the day where... things happen. Where Logan might decide to open up.

Slowly, carefully, Khan steps closer toward the couch the other has taken a seat on; Another deep breath is taken by him, through his nostrils, and he takes a tentative seat next to his partner, with a softness and grace that a soldier's body rarely possesses because of what it's made to handle, to execute. Blue eyes linger on a familiar body that now trembles so much, that sheds tear after tear, and all Khan wants is to hold him and press his human against himself, wrap his arms around those shoulders, tell him it is going to be okay because he is here now, he will defeat whatever causes his lover pain.

The truth is, however, Khan cannot fight those memories. He cannot fight those experiences. He cannot ask them to come out and face him so he can wrap his fingers around slender throats and kill them - that's not how it works. That's not how any of this works.

You belong here, is what he wants to say - you are supposed to be alive and you are supposed to be with me - but none of those words leave Khan, for as he knows they might not make anything better in any way. He instead just sits there, next to his partner, with both of his hands resting on his knees as his softened, clearly troubled expression rests on the one he loves so much that he wants to cry with him.

He won't. He needs to be strong and carry the weight of this moment. He nees to be there for Logan, and he wants to be just that.

So Khan remains silent - he wants the other to go on, to speak, but on his own terms. He won't push him, won't ask for more... he blinks instead, then reaches out for the box of tissues placed onto the small coffee table in front of them before, carefully so, pushing it over, closer to the blonde. Just in case he needs it.

I am here, I am listening. Take your time. Words unspoken, but he hopes Logan will hear them anyways.

[azems-familiar]

For the Shepard ask meme: Constellation, Nebula, Stars, Dark Nebula, and Supernova

hello! i don't think we've actually interacted before but you are Cool because you like mass effect, swtor, and kotor, which are my three main hyperfixations at the moment. thank you for the ask!!

murdering this game until it gives me a good screenshot of her. anyway!

Constellation - does your Shepard have a family? are they alive?

Shepard had a family, once. she was born on Mindoir as one of the first spaceborn colony kids, and had parents and a little sister who she loved and spent a lot of time with. when the batarians attacked Mindoir when she was sixteen, her parents died in the fighting, and her little sister was taken by slavers; i haven't decided if she survived or not yet, but i do know that's part of why the mission to talk down the escaped slave girl who was just a kid during the Mindoir attack hits her so hard.

Nebula - who is your Shepard's best friend?

hmm. probably Liara or Garrus, but she's also quite close with Kasumi! i headcanon that Liara never actually got over Shepard (she had a bit of a triangle with her and Kaidan in the game, and while in my canon Shepard doesn't actually lead her on on purpose, Liara still definitely falls in love with her and that doesn't go away), but they remain close, and along with Kaidan, Liara is the person Shepard most trusted to watch her back during the first game. she and Kaidan were the two Shepard took with her when it all went to hell on earth, in the run for the beam. during the events of me2, when she'd lost most of her old crew and was stuck working for Cerberus, Garrus was a familiar face she knew she could trust to always have her back and follow her over the Illusive Man, and she and Kasumi bonded in the long hours in sublight traveling through systems and the FTL travel between relays. (Shepard also got pretty attached to Javik in three, understanding a bit of the pain he went through in losing everyone, given Mindoir and then Akuze.)

Stars - who is your Shepard's LI?

Kaidan. it will always be Kaidan. during 2 she spent some time flirting fairly hard with Kelly, mostly after Horizon, and she thought about a fwb thing to blow off steam with Garrus (there were some difficult feelings to deal with in the aftermath of Horizon), but in the end she didn't go through with anything and spent the night before the suicide mission alone. she wrote Kaidan a letter that she sent to him right before she went through the Omega-4 relay that basically apologized for a lot of things and talked about how she was both disappointed he wasn't there with her (because he made her feel a little less like everything was impossible, had given her hope that Ilos wasn't a suicide mission), and glad he wasn't, because she didn't mind dying for the galaxy as long as he was safe and alive to see it. she also told him to take that doctor on the Citadel out. me2 was not a very good time for her. they do get back together of course! she survives the ending (perfect destroy) and they end up having a daughter and living in Anderson's apartment on the Citadel.

Dark nebula - is there something they'd change about their past?

it's a little hard to say she doesn't want to change her past, given she's a colonist sole survivor - the only one to escape Mindoir alive and sane, and then again with Akuze, sometimes she feels like she's cheated death so many times that the suicide missions are just what she's owed. (did i mention she's full of trauma?) if she could, she'd go back and keep the colonists on Mindoir from dying and being enslaved, she'd stop Cerberus from experimenting with thresher maws - but those two events, as horrific as they were, made her into the person who was able to stop the galaxy from the reapers. had she not gone through them, she wouldn't have had the strength to survive three suicide missions, the hazards of being a Spectre, and everything else the galaxy threw at her. so changing the past for all the people who suffered and died? absolutely. but changing it for herself? no. she needed to go through everything she did to come out the other side as the person she is, the person who could unite an entire galaxy against the Reapers, end a three hundred year war, and more besides.

Supernova - when did your Shepard decide to join the Alliance? was there a breaking point in their life that made them decide to become a soldier?

currently i'm thinking that Shepard pretty much.... lied directly to the Alliance's face and told them she was 18 after she recovered from Mindoir? she discovered her biotic abilities during the attack and wanted to go straight into military service after recovering, but it wasn't about revenge - not that she wasn't tempted, of course, and there has always been an urge to hurt batarians more than other species - it was about protecting people. making sure no one else went through what she'd been through. of course it came out fairly quickly that she was 16, not 18, but by this point she'd already been in training for a couple of months and they ended up just... going along with it, just putting her through training for her newly developed biotics and getting her an implant and whatnot until she turned eighteen, then putting her back into basic. she wasn't going to be a soldier before the slaver attack, but after, it was the only thing she could imagine being. Anderson inspired her a lot in that regard!

[imperial-martian]

—LETTERS: george washington x reader x king george iii (hamilton)

Author’s Note: this is an old oneshot that I wrote two years ago but it is one of my only good oneshots from back in my first Hamilton phase. This is also in first person (which I used to only write in and now I hate it, but that’s fine) so fair warning this is really old and very different to my writing now. Also, this diverges into two endings, King George’s than Washington’s, they’ll be marked at the end of certain sentences.

Trigger Warnings: first person point of view, two year old writing, death, guns, war, fighting, betrayal, swearing, injuries

I stood in front of my horse looking behind me as I was about to hop on.

"Y/N, come back alive," King George told me.

"I'll try my best," I smiled at him. He gave me a sharp look and I replied differently. "I will."

"Good. Y/N you are the best spy we have right now. We cannot afford to lose you," King said.

"Your Majesty, they will need at least 10 men to take me down," I winked. King George gave off a small chuckle.

"Stay safe," he said grabbing my hand and placing a kiss on top of it. He stood up straight, still holding my hand, and I smiled. He nodded turning around and walking away. I hopped onto the horse and signaled to one of the generals that I was leaving. They nodded and I flicked the rains up. The horse charged forward as I directed it where to go.

Hours passed and I finally arrived at the colonist's army camp. I tied the horse to a tree deep in the woods. Taking my jacket off I laid it on the horse and leaned down to get some mud. Smudging it onto my clothes, face, and arms I wanted to make it look as though I was lost. I gave the horse a little water and a carrot I had put in my bag. Leaving everything behind I headed to the camp. I had made little tears in my clothes to give the effect that I had been injured.

Walking within a hundred feet of the camp I began to limp. I saw a few soldiers talking among themselves as they all held bayonets close to them. I finally made it out of the woods and over to the camp. I walked up to one of the soldiers and grabbed their arm.

"Please help me! I was heading home from the store when a British soldier attacked me. I ran as fast as I could, but when I entered the woods I tripped," I explained on the verge of tears. The man looked at his fellow soldiers and nodded. One of the men ran off into a tent which I assumed was the nurse's tent.

"Follow me, ma'am," the soldier said. I nodded following him. I was a little slow since I still had to pretend to limp. He opened the tent flap and a woman had already set a spot for me to sit. Limping over I sat down and she examined my ankle. The soldiers left the room and walked back to where they were. The nurse grabbed a few tools. I realized how uneducated they were with injuries because they still bandaged my ankle even though nothing was wrong.

"Lay down for a bit. I'll be right back I just need to have a word with the General," the nurse explained. I nodded and watched as she walked out. I looked around the tent noticing that most nurses were out on the battlefield. I stood up and walked over to an empty cot. Laying down I closed my eyes and prepared to get the battle plans by the end of the week.

•••

Today was the last day I could attempt to get the plans. I had been receiving letters from King George quite frequently. He had sent another spy to bring me letters in the woods every day. Since the soldiers believed I was attacked by the British they decided it was best I stayed at camp and help around. Which I did. Having received the letters from King George we communicated often, although I was receiving letters from someone else. Someone I didn't know. When I talked to the nurses about it they all said they had never seen that handwriting before. I shrugged it off and hid the letters.

Having been here for a week I met a few clever soldiers. A few being Alexander Hamilton, Marquis De Lafayette who was an ally from the French, and George Washington. George Washington was the General of the continental army. He was a very unique man. Brave, intimidating, and stern, yet he had a sweet side. He heard that I had been injured and asked me to visit his tent darning my break today. Today was my only opportunity to get the plans without being noticed.

I passed time helping soldiers who came in by the minute. Finally, my break arrived and I had received a new later. Not from King George but the other person. I shoved it into my pocket and stood up. Walking over to the tent I headed for Washington's tent. Walking over a few soldiers who passed by waved. Making it to his tent I stood in front of it a little intimidated to go in.

"Sir, may I come in?" I asked trying to keep my heart rate at normal.

"You may," I heard Washington call out. Walking into his tent he looked up. I saw him smile and put down his quill. He stood up and walked over to me taking my hand and placing a kiss on it.

"Now, Miss L/N, could I have a word?" He asked. I nodded and he smiled grabbing a chair and putting it in front of his desk. We talked for a little while as he asked questions about my life, family, and interests. I had to lie about most of it until we heard someone from outside.

"General Washington, you are needed I'm the nurse's tent. Marquis De Lafayette was shot in the foot," a soldier from outside called. Washington jolted up and threw his coat on.

"Y/N are dismissed for now. It was a pleasure talking with you," Washington said making his way tot he tent flap.

"The pleasure is mine sir," I replied. He turned around smiling and walked out. I walked over to his desk rummaging through the papers to find the plans.

"Aha!" I exclaimed once I found them. I ran out of the tent and towards the woods. King George was supposed to meet me here in a few minutes. He wrote in one of his letters that he would. That reminded me of the later I had received earlier. I went to look for it in the pocket. I panicked once I realized O couldn't find it.

"Shit," I muttered. I must have left it in Washington's tent. I debated if I should have gone back when finally I took another step farther into the woods. I made it to a deep part of the woods and sat in front of a tree. I heard footsteps approaching next to me. I turned my head to see Washington. Shit.

"Y/N, I found this inside my tent I assume it's yours," Washington said holding out the letter. I was about to speak when we heard a branch snap. We turned our heads to the sound and saw King George.

"Y/N, stay behind me!" Washington ordered. He took out his gun from its holster.

"Y/N, dear, do you have the plans?" King George asked.

"Dear?" Washington asked. He turned to me confused. I simply gave him a devilish smirk and held up the plans. I walked past Washington and handed King George the plans. Washington pointed his gun at me.

"Y/N please don't make me do this," Washington pleaded.

"I love you," Washington whispered. His hand was shaking and his eyes had tears in them. King George laughed.

"You love her?" Now that's funny. Sorry to tell you General but when we return to England she will be mine," King George said pointing his own gun at Washington. I was a bright shade of pink at King's words. I didn't know King George felt this was about me. While I was distracted in my thoughts Washington shot King in his leg. He fell to the ground in pain. I grabbed King's gun and pointed it at Washington.

"Y/N DON'T MAKE ME SHOOT YOU!" Washington yelled tears falling from his eyes.

"Do it George," I challenged him using his first name. I realized it. Washington was the person who sent me all of the letters that weren't from King. No one knew the handwriting because Hamilton writes all of Washington's letters. My thoughts stopped as I heard Washington fiddle with the trigger. He dropped to his knees.

"I can't do it because I love you," he muttered.

"But I don't," I replied lifting the gun and pulling the trigger. The bullet went straight to his rib. The spy who gave me the letters from King was helping King George. I walked over helping the spy bandage King. I was shocked that no one found us in the woods or heard the loud shots of the gun.

I looked over at Washington who was barely breathing and laughed.

"That's my Queen," King George said placing a finger under my chin and kissing me softly.

[King George's Ending]

"Y/N, stay behind me!" Washington ordered. He took his gun from its holster and pointed it at King George.

"Y/N, dear, do you have the plans?" King George asked.

"Plans?" Washington whispered. King George took his pistol out and pointed it at Washington. This was when I realized Washington was the man who sent me all of the letters. It was obvious. No one knew his handwriting because he never wrote his own letters. He was always kind to me even when visiting the nurse's tent under the worst conditions.

"Yes plans, Y/N do you have them?" King asked again.

"No," I answered.

"No? What do you mean 'no'?" King asked growling.

"When someone says no they mean no," Washington said through gritted teeth. King had enough with Washington and swiftly lifted his hand, pulling the trigger. I watched Washington's gun fly into the air as the bullet entered his shoulder.

"No! You bastard," I yelled at King.

"Y/N come on let's go back to England and stop this little game," King said turning to walk away.

"Not with the likes of you," I said running over and grabbing Washington's gun.

"Excuse me?" He asked standing still. I shot the gun and saw King drop to the floor. The other spy ran up to him. Before he could shoot me I took the first shot and ensured both men were dead. I sprinted over to Washington making sure he was alright.

"Y/N it isn't as bad as it looks," Washington assured me. I still gave him a panicked look and rushed out of the woods. I grabbed Alexander, who was right outside of the woods, and a nurse and ran back to Washington. The nurse cleaned Washington's wound while Alexander walked over to King George. Alexander went to get a few more men to help with King and the spy. Turning around I saw that the nurse had bandaged Washington's shoulder.

"Sir, you'll need to rest for a little and make sure you don't fight for a while," the nurse explained.

"Of course! Thank you very much," Washington said. The nurse nodded and walked out of the woods. I looked down at my hands and clothes and noticed the blood.

"Sir, I'm going to clean up," I said turning around to walk away. Washington grabbed my wrist with his non-injured arm and placed a kiss on my lips.

[Washington's Ending]

[wizardnuke]

hi tony i am here to ask you about a very specific scenario: you are trapped on an island and there is a lot of vegetation but it's all weird and you don't know if you can eat it without Dying. also there are a lot of REALLY cute animals there like too cute to eat u just can't do it. one day you see a boat headed your way, with loads of people on it. would you rather this boat be the mayflower or the titanic? choose wisely.

- this is hilarious

- and this answer got a little out of hand

- please remember that I am the op of the accursed roanoke colony post

- also my brain short circuited because I have a bit of a migraine (pain isn't bad. brain thoughts are not quite there) and I mixed up the ships and instead of the mayflower my brain said susan constant which lead me to jamestown

- I did not fact check any of this.

- there are several factors to consider here

- presumably I can't tell the titanic people that they're going to hit an iceberg because of the butterfly effect, so that'll be rough, but since women and children were the first to get off the ship I have a good chance of surviving when they inevitably wreck

- would I be able to withstand the guilt of knowing what's going to happen without being able to tell them? that's debatable. so, onto option two:

- if I go with the susan constant, things become much more complicated. one, there's no saying that I'm not carrying a disease that the susan constant people (and titanic but they have a better chance) have never been in contact with and therefore have no immunity to, which would then kill them.

- that may not be a bad thing. anyway.

- let's say that I go with the susan constant, and we sail to the new world, and we establish the first successful european colony: jamestown.

- I've been to a reconstruction of jamestown. more than that, I've read a lot about it. because I'm a history person and, embarrassingly, My Thing is early american (including pre colonial, which is less embarrassing) history.

- do you know what happened at jamestown? for the sake of this thought experiment let's say that I somehow survived the first few years despite the diseases going around and just the scrutiny of the colonists bc of a hundred different little reasons that range from me not speaking their version of english to my haircut to me just being insufferable

- these europeans were hilariously unprepared for the climate and geography of this place. from 1606 to 1608 they were in contact with the powhatans, who helped them a lot, but then the europeans started being assholes and the powhatans cleared out, and they started fighting.

- they weren't prepared for the winter.

- the winter of 1609-1610 was called "the starving time". because, once again, they weren't prepared for the winter.

- they started with 300 colonists. that number dwindled over the years, and by the spring of 1610, there were only 60 left.

- not all of these colonists starved to death, unfortunately or not, though getting killed was probably less painful. some were killed by the powhatans. others were killed by their fellow colonists, because they went all lord of the flies on each other. and, because they were starving,

- the colonists of jamestown resorted to cannibalism to survive the winter.

- I am not nearly as good of a fighter as I like to think I am. I don't want to be bashed in the head by a scurvy ridden european man who hates me personally because I'm cool and sexy and can read and, as far as they're concerned, female, and because I wasn't a planned passenger for their trip to begin with and I don't even speak their version of english.

- I don't want to starve to death, be an inconvienence for the powhatans, or be cannibalized by the colonists of jamestown.

- I'd go with the titanic.

NOW, WITH THE FUCKING MAYFLOWER IN MIND:

- religious extremists, the lot of them

- I don't speak their version of english

- I would have made a nervous joke about speaking tongues

- and I would have kickstarted the witch trials by 80 years.

- let's say that I didn't. what would have happened? guess what happened. guess what happened when they arrived in plymouth. in what's now massachusetts, in the winter.

- it wasn't cannibalism! it was the other issue! disease! because they all bunked in the ship over the winter bc it was cold as fuck and they weren't prepared. they started with 102 people and they entered spring with 53.

- AND THEN THEY WENT BACK TO EUROPE. I DON'T WANT TO GO TO 1620S EUROPE. WITCH TRIALS, ANON. THEY WOULD HAVE HUNG ME.