#I don't know anyone in europe omfg

[rogue-durin-16]

MISHAPS AND SILVER LININGS

Request: maybeee dialogue prompt 53 with Nixon x female reader?? But maybe kinda angsty also??? (anything u write is great so 🤷‍♀️)

Summary: after all the tragedy endured during the war, nobody would have guessed one last mishap would help the stars align for Lewis Nixon and Y/n Y/l/n.

Prompt:

53. "I remember kissing you. Why do I remember kissing you?"

Pairing: Lewis Nixon x Reader

Genre: angst/fluff

Tags:

Requested by: anon

Band Of Brothers: @fernando-jpg @chubbypotatoepie @tvserie-s-world @clumsy-wonderland @lordndsaviorwinters

Permanent taglist: @elia-the-bibliophile @randomparanoid @karlthecat15722 @thebutchersdaughtersblog @amourtentiaa @comfort-reads

Warnings: alcoholism, swearing (that's it omfg)

A/N: writing for Nixon was surprisingly easy? I high-key had fun with this one. Thanks for the request love. Remember that requests are open rn so feel free to send yours in. Meanwhile, enjoy this little fic <3

Band of Brothers masterlist

Rogue-durin-16 masterlist

A dull light crept through the curtains of the flat Regiment had billeted me in when Nixon finally stirred.

He shifted on my bed, a slight groan escaping his lips the moment his barely open eyes hit the few rays of sun striking the mattress. He had one hell of a hungover.

During the last year of our lives, Lewis Nixon and I had worked side by side across Europe practically at all times— which meant I wasn't exactly a stranger to his drinking problem. Since we came back from that jump over Germany though, it had escalated to a different level.

'He's been demoted' I had disclosed to Dick as soon as we linked back up with Battalion HQ.

'Demoted?' Although his friend had questioned it, no explanation was needed. He already knew. 'Okay, I'll talk to him'.

I don't think anyone could blame him. It all had become too much to handle, specially if one had lost conviction in the reasons we were still fighting this war.

I knew he had lost it. As if it wasn't obvious enough, he had blurted it out one of those nights we stayed awake for one reason or another. That exact night everyone had stayed awake, I believe.

That damned patrol back in Hagenau. We had fought Sink not to push forward that mission, but there was no use.

"This is stupid." I mumbled, arms crossed and my eyes fixed to the other side of the river.

The full moon's light reflected on the snow. In any other setting, I would have found it beautiful, but with fifteen Easy Company members being sent on a suicide, the landscape was far from that.

"Glueing yourself to the window won't help them."

I shot Nix a tired glare and pushed myself off the window in order to walk towards him. "They shouldn't be out there."

"None of us should be out here."

"What do you mean?"

"Why the hell are we here at this point, Y/n/n?"

I didn't have a response.

"Don't you wanna come back home already? To that lovely husband of yours." He teased with a bitter half laugh.

"You're funny." He didn't know about the mail. How could he know? "Don't think he'll be there when I come back."

"What?"

"He sent a letter back when we were in the Bois Jaques." I explained, snatching the glass of whiskey Nix had by the typewriter. "Said if I wasn't home by New Year, he'd file for divorce."

"You're kidding." Nix sat straight in his chair when I didn't laugh. "Who in their right mind would leave you?"

"The man I married, apparently." The officer struggled to meet my eyes. He knew by now I didn't want pity. "Guess he doesn't know why we're still out here either."

~~~~~~~~~~~~

He sat up slowly, squinting against the light, one hand coming up to clutch his head. It didn’t take long for him to notice me slouched on the bedroom's armchair. His gaze darkened, panic flashing across his features.

“What the hell…” he muttered, groaning softly. He rubbed his face and looked around, as if hoping he could piece together the memory.

I watched his eyes darting around like he was still scrambling to make sense of everything. The awkward silence stretched between us until he finally spoke.

“I… I remember kissing you.” He ran a hand through his hair, looking almost angry with himself. “Why do I remember kissing you?”

The Night Before

The knock at the door was unsteady, clumsy, like he could barely remember how to make a fist. I pulled on a sweater and padded across the cold floor, half-expecting to find someone delivering bad news. Instead, there was Nixon, eyes glazed, swaying slightly as he tried to focus on me.

“Jesus, Nix…” I murmured, instinctively stepping aside as he staggered into the room. The sharp, sour scent of whiskey clung to him, familiar but stronger than usual, almost suffocating. I shut the door behind him, hands already moving to steady him as he slumped into the nearest chair, his gaze unfocused.

“What on God's name are you doing here?”

He looked up at me, his face a blur of exhaustion, frustration, and something else—something deeper. “She’s leaving me, y'know,” he slurred. “Kat's divorcing me."

"Jesus, Lew." I poured him a glass of water and kneeled down. "Now?"

"Took… took the damn dog, too."

"She took your dog?!"

He snorted with glassy irises. "Everything. I think... I knew it would happen, but… didn’t think it’d feel like… like this.”

I swallowed, feeling the heaviness of his words settle in my chest. “I’m sorry, Nix,” I whispered, unsure of what else to say, until I remembered the words he said to me back in Hagenau. “I don't know who in their right mind would leave you.”

It was soft, just like the featherlight touch of my thumb brushing away a rogue tear before it could reach his jawline. It sounded dangerously similar to 'I wouldn't leave you'. Maybe that's what he had meant back then.

He let out a bitter laugh, his head falling back against the chair. “Yeah, well… doesn’t matter. Not anymore.” He closed his eyes, breathing out, then looked at me with a strange intensity, like he’d finally worked up the nerve to say something he’d been holding onto for too long.

Something I both craved and dreaded to hear.

“Do you know…” He trailed off, blinking as if the words kept slipping away from him. “Do you know how hard it’s been? Pretending I don’t… pretending I don’t want to kiss you every damn time I see you?”

The confession knocked the air from my lungs, and I stood there, stunned, heart pounding too loudly in the silence that followed.

“Nix…” I began, voice barely a whisper, but he just shook his head, his eyes shifting, unfocused and pained.

“I wanted to kiss you from the very first second I heard your voice.” he said, voice rough and broken. "I remember how beautiful you looked the first day we worked together, how smart you were and how I just wanted to... But Kat- I couldn't... Do that to her and your- you..." He pinched the bridge of his nose, "I tried and... for what? For this?"

My lips were sealed with panic but the glint in my gaze and the liquor in his veins spurred him.

"Tell me it's just me... Tell me..." He did his best to lean forward without lolling too much. "Everytime it almost happened... Just say..." His look dropped to my lips, too intoxicated to care how obvious he was. "The 'what if's haunt me when I stare for too long..."

I couldn't say I didn't feel exactly like that. The cautious dance we were in was long overdue —the brush of a hand, a whisper closer than necessary, that drink we shared in Mourmelon that almost made us cross the line—, but it had been a silent mutual agreement not to act on it.

Before I could process everything, before I could find the right words to stop it without pretending I didn't feel the same, he leaned forward, his hands gripping my arms for support as he pressed his lips to mine.

It was lousy, desperate, filled with something raw and aching, and I didn’t know if it was my own hesitation or his unsteady hands that made it linger just a second too long.

He staggered back, eyes half-closed, almost as if he wasn’t sure if he’d imagined the whole thing. His hands dropped, and he swayed, his breath slowing as the exhaustion finally took over. His head slumped onto my shoulder, and he exhaled, a quiet surrender.

“Nix?” I whispered, looking down to see his eyes shut, breaths now slow and even.

The confession hung between us, unanswered. And I sat there, his weight against me, tangled in everything I wanted to say but couldn’t.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The panicked question floated in the air, heavy with something I couldn’t quite name.

"Y/n." I looked down, unable to meet his eyes. "Why do I remember kissing you?"

I cleared my throat and did my best to sound somewhat nonchalant about it. “Well, maybe because you kissed me, Lew.”

"For Christ's sake..." He groaned, rubbing his face with his palms. "Just what I needed, great. This is great."

"You drank too much." I tried to excuse him. Emphasis on 'tried'.

"I always drink too much and this never—" Another frustrated groan, this time louder, escaped him.

"I've never seen you... That drunk." The statement was tainted with worry; a worry I had felt the night before and didn't have time to voice. "You looked... awful. I had to drag you to the bed." I stole a peek at him while I explained, catching a mortified expression on his part as he sat up, legs hanging from the side of the bed as he was now facing me. "I get it. I really do. It's hard enough out here. Hey—" I kneeled down to meet his casted down face, much like the night before, but with very different circumstances. "You saw me in Noville. I wasn't... I wasn't myself. And it wasn't even-"

I pondered how to put my thoughts into words without making it worse. The best way to explain he wasn't all that bad without making a fool of myself.

"I didn't... Love him, y'know? Charles, I mean." At the name of my soon to be ex-husband, Nix seemed to regain the will to meet my eyes, which now recoiled from his. "Not anymore, at least. But it felt... The letter felt like a gut punch— I felt like... my life slipped through my fingers. And when stuff like that happens, we do stupid things. Because we feel lost."

"Is that what I said?"

"Huh?"

"That I felt lost."

I shook my head no, the realization that he didn't quite remember his drunken speech dawning on me.

"What exactly did I tell you?"

"You... Don't remember what you said?"

"No- I... What did I say?"

Suddenly eager to put distance between us, I bolted to my feet and walked out of the room. "I don't know- things anyone would say when they're drunk as a skunk."

"Like- like what things?" He questioned, his steps trailing behind me in the kitchen's direction.

"Nix, you were drunk and going through shit." Deep down, I didn't think I would be able to reason my way out of that one, but I had to try. "Don't put much thought into it." I insisted, reaching for the percolator to brew a very much needed coffee.

"What did I say? Y/n-" just as I was about to turn on the stove, he interlaced his calloused fingers around my wrist and gently tugged on it to stand face-to-face. "Just tell me how much I screwed it."

"You didn't screw anything."

"Then why can't you look at me?"

"Maybe because we've been trying not to end up here for a literal year and now this happened?"

Lew scrutinized me with fear in his dark eyes. I had seen that expression too many times, he was drawing his conclusions based on what he knew.

"Did I tell you I'm in love with you?"

Silence. Charged silence. One look was enough for him to realize he did not say that. His hand let go of me to cover his mouth while he took a step back.

Once more, I was at loss of words, which was something Nix had rarely accomplished in the time we had known each other.

"I... I don't know what I was thinking— Jesus Christ—" he exhaled the last part, an apology plastered all over him. "I'm just gonna... I shouldn't have come in the first place."

He was about to turn heel and leave. We both had done that before, more times than we could count. The difference was, there was no need for me to let him slip away; not anymore.

In a spurt of bravery, I grasped at his forearm and tugged him back, daring to stare straight into his soul while I spoke.

"You said Kat was divorcing you. Said you didn't think you'd feel like this." I began, voice clear as day. "You said you were done pretending you didn't wanna kiss me everytime you see me." He dropped his gaze, a flicker of regret in his eyes, jaw clenched tight. "You said the 'what if's haunt you if you stare for too long. You asked me if it was just you who felt like that."

"... Am I?" He recalculated the situation, shame dissipating to let me discern something similar to hope.

"Y'know what's the first thing I thought after reading Charles' letter?" He barely had time to deny with his head before I continued. "I thought 'fuck him, the man I love sleeps in my goddamn foxhole'." His breath hitched at the word but he didn't shy away from me; on the contrary, he watched my every move while my grip eased from his arm and traveled to the back of his neck. "Now tell me, are you fucking sober yet?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Good 'cause I'm done pretending too."

My statement was hasty and quick. The previous night had left me too eager to return the kiss I had so desperately wanted to give him.

Months of stealing longing glances at each other fueled our need to make sure there was no space between us anymore. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling my upper body flush against his while the kiss deepened in a way we could only have fantasized about— had it not been for those damn letters.

Who would have thought our silver lining of war would be our failed marriages?

[winwintea]

im not even a wayzenni, i always support wayv but after i saw how they treated winwin, wished his death also want ten pull liam payne and kill himself, yeah this group is not for me anymore. maybe sound stupid but these 2 dudes are not even my bias, i barely gaf about their contents but my human being side can't ignore how they treated in wayv. thank god nct dream is not fake like this 🙄

WOAH WHERE WAS THIS TEN STUFF??

why are they turning on ten too god what???? i thought he was safe WHAT DID HE EVEN DO TO THEM?

fr i love nct dream as a group. they are so locked in fr fr like i love their dynamic sm. i used to think czennies were at least better than wayzennies but omfg??? the death threats after the live in europe?? parasocial relationships and this obsession should honestly be studied like. there is a point where you calm down. and chill out. like they don't know you, they are entertainment you consume there's a barrier between that. barely anyone ever gets to break that and you should respect that.

[toddstool]

literally have to look up every other word from whatever essay im reading and then I have to look up every other word from that essay explaining what those previous words meant and this continues on. like omfg how does anyone have time for this shit. do these people not have chores? or jobs??

religion does something REALLY bad to ur brain it's crazaaay. hilarious cuz if these people just realized that satan wasn't real, they'd then know that the only thing they have to worry about is other people doing bad stuff hello!! I got people down the block doing bad stuff i don't need to worry about mfs in a cult in europe!!

ugh I'm trying to read up on this conspiracy theory shit (like the new world order stuff 🙄) and now I've gone down a wikipedia rabbit hole and am having to read about metaphysics theory ffs I am NOT having a good time

really need to stop looking at paranoid schizophrenics' blogs

[mahi-does-some-art]

You know how Mahiru played a role in almost every servamp pairs arc,i womder if he will play a role in what i hope will be envy arc

There is a small chance that he might not– at least not directly with Mikuni and Jeje.

BUT!!!

I do believe that he abso-fucking-lutely will!!

Mahiru has played a big and very direct part in the now-changing lives of the Aliceins and it would actually be kind of shocking if strike doesn't have Mahiru playing a part in Envy Arc.

Of course, we'll need Strike to cut back to what's happening inside Sloth's little world inside the black goo he, Kuro and Mahiru are in. Along with directly confronting and fighting Sloth for the second time– or just a continuation of their first actual fight with gear and youtarou, there is another thing that might happen lmao.

Which is Gear throwing the jar of goop into the ocean because they are currently in a helicopter, flying from the forests of europe back to japan where all the fighting is happening. In fact, Gear outright said he'd throw them into the ocean if the goop started to form into the big ass lion or into Sloth again. But they have a limited time frame to get back to Tokyo so I kinda doubt that.

I got off topic but YES!!! I am very sure Mahiru's going to play a very vital role in Envy Arc!!

Mahiru helped Misono and Lily, he knocked some much needed sense into Mikado and Mikuni genuinely seems to like and or trust him in general.

I'm sure you see my friend Katz posts (if not, plz, they're so fucking cool), but in Tanaka Box, Mahiru is implied to work part-time at Mikuni's shop "Land of Nod". I'm like, 98% sure some of the shit Mikuni has in there is haunted but thats besides the point–

There is nothing that says Mikuni has hired anyone to work at Nod and I don't think it's ever said that anyone besides him, Jeje and Dr. Faust are ever "working" there. I think Mikuni has a lot of trust in Mahiru to pay him to work there but ALSO– Mikuni trusts Mahiru because of everything he's done for Misono, his darling little brother.

Now, I have no fucking clue what that hidden-away bottle thing in the Alicein manor (from the new raws) is or what Mikuni's planning with it, but I would lay money down to have Mahiru help Mikuni or even use his special magic thing that i forgot name of how could i omfg- to help snap mikuni out of whatever madness hes driving himself into.

Mikuni is, much to Jeje's dismay especially, very similar to his mother. The beautiful son of a beautiful woman. He may be close to experiencing the same insanity his mother had died from and my GOD im so fucking curious. I want to crack his head open and see how he ticks–

Overall, I think Mikuni needs a good pop in the ass with a sandal and Mahiru already has the shoe in his hand.

THANK YOR FOR THE ASK, I LOVE YOU AND ALSO I HAVE MORE ASKS IN MY INBOX I PROMISE I WILL GET TO THEM, I HAVE NOT BEEN IGNORING!!! IM JUST NERVOUS CUZ I DONT GET ASKS OFTEN DJDJXKS7

[bisexualhobi]

Lol I understand why people wouldn't believe me but Korea is so small, I am not Korean but my friends are and at a certain level of I wouldn't say wealth precisely but if you know a certain person who knows another, etc. It's so easy getting info and idol staff are full of people who are more than willing to share info about the idols they work for LMFAO And idol staff Bighit staff even are underpaid and pretty much exploited, so they don't care. I was in an exchange program and met Korean students who worked as translators for B list idols. BTS have many foreign stalkers for this reason, there is not much security surrounding them once you are in Korea. That ban on fansites is bs, HYBE doesn't give two fucks lol Does anyone remember Dream In Spring and company? They're american fansite owners and stalkers who moved to Korea to stalk BTS, working as English teachers to fund their obsession, BTS know and recognize them but they don't care for them. But they swear they're the shit, there is also another american girl who is in 1MILLION classes who is very big on Army Twitter, I think her name is Carla? Claudia? another kboo loser lol. A lot of stalkers get a hold of Bighit staff and then just thrive off following them around. But most of the stuff I know is outdated, I don't keep up or ask that much. But Jk was dating the tattoo artist, the Jimin Akgae (Mimo) was really devoted to the case omfg, Mimo had a whole thread on those shitty ass tattoos they shared and everything (which was true). Jungkook has a lot of matching tattoos with her and his friends as well. Remember when Jimin was in Paris? He never slept with those girls who partied with him (the Suavemente video if you have seen it), but they were Korean students friends with Jimin's friend, see how easy it is to get linked with them? They both had boyfriends but they took Jimin and his friend clubbing in France. I heard Jimin hired escorts in Europe (women). Namjoon is straight and sleeps around a lot, both in and out of Korea, Bighit has paid off a lot of girls because he's messy apparently. The kept together image he projects as a leader is the opposite of him behind the scenes, from what I know. The only lgbt thing I have heard of was Taehyung which shocked me, someone told me he slept with one of his friends, the actor Park Bogum. See again how it's the same with Jk and Eunwoo, they aren't the friends they interact with the most publicly. Again you don't have to believe me, I could not believe my friends who tell me this but idk why my friends would lie to me either. I don't go around buying info lol Hyung line are uneventful, I just know Yoongi is a bit of a bitch to everyone.

[jimmypagedoingthings]

If any of you guys are gonna be near the French/German border this weekend, hit me up?