#I don't get how Charlie doesn't have more suitors in the actually show

[princess-charlie-of-hell]

As a Charlie morningstar lover, I love to think that everyone is at least a tiny bit in love with her. This obviously isn't supposed to be taken serious and is mostly crack

Let's start with the obvious ones: that Vaggie is in love with her is clear, she is had no problem of threatening Alastor, a powerful overlord, to protect her and even made a deal with him to make the commercial for the hotel to make Charlie happy

Talking about Alastor, he is obviously obsessed with her like in most scenes they are together, he always keeps her in eye and is touchy with Charlie. Him being a mommas boy only worsen that, deep inside he wants her to be proud of him and doesn't like sharing her attention, that is why he hated Lucifer because him visiting the hotel caused Charlie to pay attention to her father and not him

Staying by the hotel crew, Angel dust. He is not in love love with her because he is gay but do you know this feeling where you are not romantically in love with someone but still want them to do like/love you? Like he is totally platonically in love with her, her presence alone is enough to make him feel better and forget his pain from working for Valentino for a bit

The other guest, Sir pentious, also was blown away by Charlie. The princess was the first one who took him serious in hell and didn't made fun of him. She believes that he is able to change to become a better person. He fast developed a crush on her, he tries to make her proud of him by giving extra effort by her group projects and makes invention which he hopes helps people

The barkeeper of the hotel is also isn't able to resist Charlie's charm. Husk at the beginning started to spend more time with the princess because he noticed that Alastor is more friendly towards him when she is near. This caused him automatically to be more relax when he is in her presence also because Charlie had Keekee she has the habit of accidentally petting and cuddling Husk when she doesn't pay close attention to her surroundings, Husk never would admit it but he enjoys when it happens. It is also a purely coincidence that he starts purring when it happens and the radio demon is near

The maid of the hotel is more open to her affection towards Charlie. She enjoys whenever Charlie snaps and goes complete demons, she usually is more interested in bad boys but the princess of hell is the exception. Nifty gives Charlie sometimes bugs as presents and workes extra hard when she is near to show the princess what a great housewife she is.

That was the first part maybe i am going to make a second and or third part depends on my motivation. Just out curiosity, what are some of your favorite Charlie ships?

[androgynousblackbox]

How To Lose a Lucifer In 10 Days. 19 [Appleradio, Radioapple]

Step 19: Divorce him

"Frankly, how many of your suitors I am supposed to tolerate in this dimension?" Alastor was still huffing, even in front of the enticing smell of the freshly cooked meat nearby. "One was already pushing it, Lucifer."

"First of all, don't call them suitors. That makes it sound like I was ever available since coming here and that was literally never the case" pointed out Lucifer, turning off the fire. Despite the tentacle wrapped around his middle, he had no issue moving around the kitchen to look for another plate to serve the meat for Alastor and then some pasta for himself. Alastor, supporting his hip against the counter at his side, dismissed the correction. Suitor, potential targets, it was all the same anyway. "Second of all, I don't think you have to worry about that one at all. She had barely any light for me when she thought I was her Lucifer, as opposed to how much she had for Charlie. It was just a temporary confusion that is being solved right now. I wouldn't be shocked to know she only hugged me for the sake of Charlie more than anything else."

"I don't care for her motives" growled Alastor, glarring to the entrance of kitchen as if it could travel through the ear to shot the queen in the head. "She clearly feels entitled to your presence anyway. And why not, right? The queen and the king has a natural ring to it, doesn't it?" The snear of Alasto could be heard at a distance on his voice.

Lucifer sighed deeply in silence. He turned to his husband and took his hand, waiting for Alastor to actually look at him before opening his mouth.

"Well, she is not" said calmly. "She can be the queen of the whole universe and it won't make any difference. The only royal I care about in this dimension is already here" added, squeezing his fingers in a comforting gesture. "You have nothing to worry about, alright?"

The pupils of Alastor seemed to get bigger for a second as they regarded him. But that only lasted that moment before he looked the side, clicking his tongue.

"Tell that to that woman" spat finally.

"I will if I have to" said Lucifer, floating in the air in order to reach the cheek of Alastor with his lips. There were times in which the height of his partner was an inconvenience to say the least, but no that one. His wings worked as a barrier for Alastor to not have any other option than to see him, any part of him. "I love you, you dumbass" gently, he kissed the corner of his mouth, petting the start of his ear.

Alastor tilted his head slightly, as if making a show of avoid the caress, but his ears twitched all the same. His semi closed eye still bore into him. After a while of battling with himself, the smallest bleat in the world escaped him. The softest they sounded, the more Alastor was trying to repress them. For Lucifer, that made them all the sweeter.

"She better not try to touch you again" warned, finally reclining against Lucifer's hand. It was almost funny the contrast between his body language looking for more affection while his words still sounded completely serious. "I will kill her. Charlie will have to understand I was left with no choice."

"I won't let her. I will teleport myself away if she tries to" promised Lucifer, kissing his forehead. Only then the small crease between ALastor's eyes flattened again and he seemed to relax. "It's just a misunderstanding, babe. Nothing else" He nuzzled his head for a bit. The hands of Alastor landed on his waist, their natural place of rest, and the thumbs massaged him slowly, without rush. Lucifer separated slightly to hold his face up and smiled. "Hungry now?"

The chest of Alastor rise and fell calmly as he nodded his head. With that, Lucifer kissed his cheek again and went back to the floor

He filled two plates and send them flying to the table, taking out some wine from the fridge to serve as well in glasses he conjured himself. He frowned to Alastor until he reluctantly sat in front of the meal and started eating, his ears going down at his enjoyment despite himself. Damn it, why did it have to be so good?

Lucifer poured both their drinks and sat as well, sighning as he supported his chin on his hand.

"The other Lucifer never talked to you about his Lily?" He spoke when Alastor was on the second bite and therefore, in a more receptive mood. "I was just told that they fell together from the garden of Eden, separated and she was gone. I even thought she was dead, but didn't want to pry Charlie more if the wound was still fresh. Kind of a dick move too when she already didn't had her father with her either."

Alastor took his time chewing before saying a word. He considered correcting the name of the queen for his husband and that thought ran away as soon as it emerged. That woman should have been with her daughter from the start if she wanted something like being accurately remembered by.

"He tried to" recognized at last, his gaze fixated in the table. "In some misguided attempt to sympathize with me, I guess. I didn't want to hear your voice talking about you missing someone else, so I shut it down" Lucifer reached out his hand to let it lest on his knee, squeezing once. The king bit his lips as if he didn't know what to say to that, but Alastor didn't need anything. He put his palm on top and pat it softly. That contact was more than enough instead of words. "Outside of that one attempt, his main concern was always Charlie" finalized.

"Huh" Lucifer exhaled. His eyebrow went up for a second. "Well, that tells you something already, doesn't it? I must have exhausted everyone here talking about you before you came in."

It wasn't a surprise to hear those words. He had done the same back at home, both to annoy the other Lucifer at the start of the exchange and because it just came natural to him. But have the confirmation of that exact impulse shared between them felt good all the same.

"Indeed" agreed with a nod. "Maybe the split wasn't all that amicable."

"Charlie wasn't very keen on telling me a lot either by herself" remembered Lucifer. With a finger he controlled his fork to start reuniting the spaguetti by spinning. "It could be for any reason, though. Maybe it just never came out the topic. In any case, if she is here again, I hope that helps Charlie somewhat until her actual father is back. Regardless of the history of her parents, that is still her mom."

Alastor hummed. He could respect that, at least. As long she stayed away from what was rightfully his. For a while they only concentrated each on their meals.

"He did say something the first night he was at the hotel" commented at last. "Something about how a you without a queen to fall with would get lonely enough to get desperate. A desperation I took advantage of in order to secure our marriage."

Lucifer snorted. But at seeing Alastor drink from his glass, without any signal that it was a joke, he chuckled harder.

"Really? I mean, sure, I won't say that it was all rainbow and roses all the time, but give me some credit."

"That is what I said" Alastor was satisfied that they had agreed on that point without discussing it. His king might have allowed their marriage in the first place to placate his solitude, that much was true, but that would have never sustained them for as long as it did. Alastor could create a story about when his motivation changed for their little fawn, but in truth he could never be too sure as to in what point Lucifer became the one that made him feel less lonely instead of the other way around. It just happened, without plan, without any intention, and before he knew it was too late to even want to stop it. "Oh, also, apparently I have used our daughter to baby trap you and as leverage in our entire relationship. Oldest trick in the book, he called it."

"Oh, well, obviously. I knew that already" Lucifer smirked big, his shoulder moving with his interior laughter. "Just like our new baby is just another ruse to manipulate me into giving you… uh… something."

"The inheritance, dear. No to mention raise them to dethrone you someday and declare me the only king" provided Alastor helpfully. "Please, keep up with my evil deeds. Or don't, it makes it easier to control you."

"Right, right, of course" Lucifer nodded very serious. He reached to his side and Alastor followed the same path until their lips brushed each other. Lucifer took a hold from the back of his neck to keep him in place as he licked the mouth in front of him. "What is your excuse for being the most precious thing I have seen?" murmured, running a finger alongside the line of Alastor's jaw and pressing harder over the exact place where he could feel his pulse quickening slightly.

Alastor had been called a lot of things through the years. Nightmare, terror, monster, handsome, gorgeous, dangerous. Sometimes by the same kind of people. But only Lucifer ever used that soft kind of language to describe him. He wouldn't say that they made him melt inside, but they certainly did something that no other compliment could achieve. As if lodging themselves on a hole he didn't know existed until then, another ancor whose chain were inherently tied to one man and one man alone.

"Easy" said Alastor, smirking back. "So you would let me get away with anything I want. I planned every little detail to perfection, my love. You never stood a chance."

"Ah, shoot. Fooled again" Lucifer grinned as he deepened the kiss, his hands grabbing handful of red and black strands. The taste of the tomate sauce on his spaguetti perfectly combined with the smoky meat of Alastor. "When you kill me for the crown, make it quick, babe. You know, as a courtesy."

"Relax, my dear" Alastor sighed, a breath that Lucifer eagerly stole for his own. The king's mouth pressed against his cheek and further down. His sharp teeth nibbled at the skin of his throat, but it was the hand that caressed his spine the one that made him angle himself better, offering more for the taking. "For you, I will make it the most gentle death I can offer."

"I knew I could count on you, babe."

The warm tongue pressed against his pulse like the finger had done before and Alastor's mind quickly flashed to the events of the other night, when Lucifer had drinked out of him like a new opened up bottle. His breathy praises about how utterly delicious he was were engrained on his mind.

He couldn't remember everything, unfortunately, but that was one of the few thing that had remained with him even after coming down the high. Before him, Lucifer never once felt hungry for blood of his own heavenly kind. To know that he had managed to corrupt the king the hell to make him into another cannibal was one of the best feeling he ever had, dead or alive.

"Ah, sorry, sorry!"

Alastor cracked his neck turning to growl, fangs out, at whatever had dared to interrupt them. The fact that the interruption in question was a Charlie letting out a squeak as she covered her eyes did calm him down momentarely. Until he noticed the queen laying her weight against the frame of the door and he growled again. Lilith had her arms crossed and a perfectly composed expression, barely changed by the arc of her eyebrow.

"Sorry, sorry, didn't mean to!" Charlie went blindly to the fridge, stumbled into the counter and searched on the cupboard. Her shoulder were scrunched up as she gave her back to them. "I was just looking something to eat, sorry!"

"Sweetie, this is your kitchen" Lilith sighed indulgently. "If anything, they should apologize for disrespecting your space like that."

"Disrespecting?" The nerves of Alastor fizzled out like a cat dumped in cold water. His smile grew in his face as if it was about to split his whole head in two. "What did you think was going to happen, your Highness? I can assure you, we have our own room if it becomes necessary."

The upper lip of Lilith curled tight upward. The gesture was satisfactory while it lasted, however brief it was before she glared over at Lucifer. Lucifer returned the look with only a small aproximation of his eyebrows. He then soften up when seeing at Charlie. She already had a package of cookies in her hands, but haven't turned, as if not daring to move from there.

"Don't worry, duckling, it's fine" said to her with a kinder tone, getting his hand up to the shoulder of Alastor. "We didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."

Alastor threw a glance her direction and frowned slightly.

"Is that all you are going to eat?" Alastor sneared at seeing the package she was holding. An old knowing rejection grew inside of him, after years making sure that his little fawn wouldn't ruin her appetite with snacks. Adult or not, she couldn't just stuff herself with sweet for a meal of the day. That just wasn't going to cut it. "Dear, there is still spaguetti that Lucifer made in the pot. You can get that or Lucifer can make something else."

"Oh, no, that is fine, really" Charlie said to them, but Lucifer snapped his fingers already. A plate came out floating at the side of the princess as the food jump to it, a single fork standing upright from the small mountain formed. "Oh! Thank you" after a moment of hesitation, she took it on her hands.

"You can also sit with us if you want" offered Alastor, pulling out a chair with his shadow. The dark silhouette made a show the seat like a chef offering it to its favorite client. It dissolved with a grin only after he gained a chuckle from Charlie.

If it had been anyone else, Alastor would have already kicked them out to keep enjoying their meal together.

"Thank you" said Charlie, going to the empty space as Lucifer made appear a glass of juice for her. "Vaggie had some stuff to handle in the city, so I was planning to order something later on. Oh, mom, there is still some more if you want!" offered, suddenly looking up to the woman that slowly moved to grab another chair.

"It's okay, darling, I can take care of it myself" Lilith sat down and snapped her own fingers. A gourmet meal that surely would cost a fortune in any restaurant appeared in front of her, along with fine silver cutlery and her own glass with golden details alongside it already filled with dark wine.

"Neat trick" said Alastor, tilting his head. "It would have been neat to feed your own daughter with it, too."

"She already has food. Thanks to Lucifer" Lilith swayed her wine on her glass before taking a small sip, undisturbed. Alastor saw Lucifer tensing up as he got closer to him. "So!" said Lilith before anyone could add anything else, perking up. She put her elbows on the table to hold her chin between her two hands. "Charlie has told me the last news. Lots of things have changed around here. I would still like to hear from you two, if you don't mind" said with polite smile, no real warmth reaching it.

"Not a lot changing, really" commented Lucifer, hugging him side way. Alastor felt the tail wrap around his middle. At some point during their kiss he had dissolved his tentacle, but the contact was back there and that did make it a little better. "I just never had a Lily in my world. Years passed, met Alastor, got married, had Charlie. When she grew up, she made her own hotel that is almost an exact replica as this one. It's kinda amazing how little things have changed, actually."

"Amazing, yes" Alastor detected a new sort of tension on her smile that, for as brief as it was, made him smile wider. "How long have you two being together, by the way?"

"85 joyfull years" answered Alastor, smiling down to Lucifer, who smiled back. The king laid his cheek against his shoulder and he took the chance to kiss his blonde hair, because he could and that queen couldn't. He did not miss the way that Lilith's eyelashes came down halway her vision, unimpressed. "Almost a century, isn't that right, dear?"

"86 this year" nodded Lucifer against his shirt.

"Although with our new wedding, we could renew the date."

"We should, probably. Since it's going to come out sooner now."

"We want to have our wedding as soon we are back, before the pregnancy makes it more complicated to celebrate with the rest of our family" explained Alastor, his neck making an aundible crack as he looked again to the queen. "Surely you understand, your Majesty."

"I do" Lilith left her glass to a side so she could start eating, cutting dowm with graceful movement that sliced through her food easily. "How long has it been since you end up in hell, Al?" asked, the polite smile back in place.

Alastor tigthned up his jaw. He did not like feeling like there was a purpose more than mere curiosity behind that question.

"94 years."

"Ah, I see" Lilith's smiled extended over her face. "Yes, I imagine that 86 years can feel impressive for a young mortal soul. My sweet Charlie right there is 200 years old and, as you can see, still so youthful" Charlie shrinked on her chair with a little smile, not really wanting to participate of the conversation. "Now, the real trial of fire comes out around the first five hundred years, though. Once you survive that, the rest becomes so much easier to handle. You truly get to know someone in that time period. But I am sure neither of you have to worry about that, when that time comes" she ate a portion of her food, her perfectly white teeth in view for only a second. Alastor finally found the one single trait that Charlie had taken from her. Those two single pair of fangs that were more humanoid than most demons. "So, you were never married before, Luci?"

"No" Lucifer frowned at the diminutive, but a quick glance to Charlie took away his desire to protest about it. He looked over at Alastor, rubbing his side with a hand. "Nobody ever was like Al, so there was no point" The growing static that started to increase its volume lowered again, becoming a calming white noise in the background. "I was very picky" commented with a shrug.

Alastor chuckled pleasantly, brushing his fingers through Lucifer's hair.

"Not about anyone could handle my king" confirmed, caressing the red dots with his thumb. "He knows it for sure because he dated all across hell before I ever existed. Just for curiosity, your Majesty" added with a bright grin, "how long was the other Lucifer dating before chosing you, one of the two only human beings at the time? I just can't picture Heaven being too diverse of a dating pool. Aren't all of them essentially just your brothers, dear?" Alastor looked at his husband, pretending he didn't saw the way the polite smile slipped off Lilith's face to be replaced with a big pile of nothing.

A default expressionless queen regarded Lucifer.

"Oh, dating did not exist at all before humanity, babe."

"Really?" Alastor clicked his lips. "Well, that is unfortunate. Experience goes a long way for building relationships and character. But I am sure you have no reason to worry about that, your Highness" He examined his claws. "Obviously everything turn out alright in the end anyway. No doubt you had other things to take care of than to concern yourself with the fact your ex-husband wasn't in the same dimension as you anymore."

Lucifer couldn't help to let out a small snort, that he quickly covered up by clearing his throat. Charlie looked at her mom with a face that screamed she did not want any confrontation, but she wanted to know as well.

"I did, actually" Lilith remained as calm as ever, delicated cleaning up her mouth after another bite. "I was working on important matters, but I always kept an eye out for my little princess" She directed a smile to Charlie, who returned after a second, less open than the queen's.

"Huh" exhaled Lucifer, twirling his fork with one finger in the pasta. "How long were you doing that, by the way? Wasn't like five years? Nine, duckling?" asked to Charlie. "I can't remember exactly."

The princess threw a look at her mom. Only after Lilith's nod, she pressed her lips together and turned to Lucifer.

"Seven" said finally, swallowing down like it was costing a great effort to do so. "But" added with emphasis" the important thing is that she is here now! Papa…" She let her eyes find Lucifer again, as if apoligizing for her words "papa hasn't always been the most… reliable presence either."

"Still?" Lilith sighed, swinging the liquid on her cup. "Luci always had a bad habit of getting lost in his own mind. I am sorry that is still the case, sweetie" she sounded sincere as she reached out a hand covered in a black glove, over the table, until the hand of Charlie.

Alastor felt Lucifer tensing up at his side as the king adverted his eyes. That was true of him as well. He wasn't the one being called out for it, but it made little difference when he could still recognize the same trait.

"It's fine" said Charlie, to her mom and to Lucifer, as if sensing he wanted to protest. Her hands closed over the fork she was gripping with a bit too much strenght, but quickly relaxed again. "He is getting better now, mom. I know he is. He helped out to rebuild the hotel and has been a great help around. Well, for the most part at least. According to Al, he has been working nonstop to try to get back here. Right?" Her hopeful expression almost in its entirety the underlying sadness, the heaviness behind her words.

Lucifer winced, rushing to drink some more of his own drink.

"Absolutely" confirmed Alastor without wasting a second. He placed a hand on the lower end of Lucifer's back and draw with his fingers the line of his spine through the fabric. The tension of the king started to dissolve slowly. "It hasn't been easy, but every challange that man had on his way he has taken it head on. All for the sake of returning to his dear daughter" Alastor made a point to look at Lilith at the last part. "The very first day the exchange happened he was already desperate to come in. I can't imagine the torment that it would have been for him to stay away even longer than he has already. Please, don't misunderstand me" clarified, taking a relaxed sip of his own wine. He enjoyed leaving that momentarely silence hang in the air. "I am well aware that Lucifer had his flaws and I got to see a few while we were in the same space. However, lack of caring was never one of them."

The smile that Lilith gave him was short. It wasn't a smile of fondness or affection. Even without the powers of Lucifer to see it, Alastor would have it hard to believe that woman still had anything close to what he had for his Lucifer regarding her ex. It wasn't hatred either, just a resigned distance where at least some trace of contempt laid. Alastor would know a thing or two about people inspiring that into him, so that at least could recognize.

"I don't doubt that" Lilith circles her finger over the rim of her glass, sighning. "Good intentions were always there, and we know what they say about where those tend to lead us to" She chuckled softly, taking some more whine. Her lips painted in a dark purple that it was almost black shined after she licked them, eyes fixated on the table. "Unfortunately, actions didn't always follow through. That was more my part of things. Dreams are only as important as the energy put into them to make them come true. Like Charlie did" Lilith lifted her gaze for her daughter, her smile more sincere as her eyes lost all of their edges. "Your hotel has caused already quite a conmotion, hasn't it? I am proud of you, apple tree. You gave those upstairs something really worth worrying."

Charlie's pure unfiltered delight at hearing those words appeared as soon as it was gone. Her eyes turned into white cloudy storms as she settled into her chair, finishing her meal. Lilith's face fell, confused, until her attention was naturally attracted to Lucifer staring back at her.

"Did you…" spat, narrowing her eyes as long, heavy black horn sprout from her forehead. They curved around the shape of her hair as the world spilled out of her, her tone going higher at the incredulity of what happened, "did you just put a illusion spell on my daughter? What gave you the right?"

It would have been easy for Lucifer to just say that he was the king and that gave him every right. But that wouldn't have been Lucifer and Alastor knew it.

"It was that or blow every toilet in the hotel to call her attention. Her hotelier is gone for the day, though, so that just felt adding stress where it wasn't needed" Lucifer straighten up, putting both his arms now on the table. He wasn't sorry in the slightest. "She just thinks we are all having a lovely conversation here, so you don't have to worry about her. I just didn't want her to listen to us as we finally speak like actual adults."

"I thought we were doing that already" Lilith sneared at him, more openly than before.

"No, my darling is right" said Alastor. "Surely, you are not going to speak openly around her. Sometimes parents just need to protect their children or save information they don't need to know. I completely understand that, you can believe me on that, but something here smells rotten."

Lucifer nodded slightly.

"How do you know what was the reaction of Heaven about the hotel?" asked point blank. "You kept an eye on Charlie for eight…"

"Seven, dear."

"Yes, thank you. Seven years, but didn't appear to rebuild the hotel or the many months after that. We know what was Heaven's reaction because we were there with our daughter when she find out. That girl" said, pointing at an enchanted Charlie still enjoying her lunch with easy content" thought you were gone. I thought you were dead with how everyone did not speak about you. Where were you actually, Lilian?"

Alastor bite down his lips to contain his snort. Not at the slip of Lucifer, but the utter annoyance that permeated Lilith's face before she composed herself.

"Lilith" corrected.

"Wait, really?" Lucifer blinked slowly. At the irritated sigh from the queen, he shrugged, as if that didn't mattered that much anyway. "Alright, if you say so. Where were you, Lilith? Why are you appearing right now?"

"I think I was quite explicit already about it" Lilith huffed through her perky, perfect nose. "I was working for the wellbeing of my family. Lucifer did not have the will to do it, so I had to step in. Congratulations to you then" added, snapping her attention back on Alastor", if you are that confused by that notion. Maybe you were lucky to land with a different Lucifer, but that wasn't in the cards for me."

"Mine is better, I will give you that" recognized Alastor with mirth, never the one to miss an opportunity to brag about what was his. "Even then, I can't picture even a lesser version of my husband just being okay with his adoring partner staying years away from him and their daughter working on something. I guess it's better that you two split then" He directed a pointed gesture of his chin towards the golden ring that Lilith very clearly still had.

Not a round ring with engravings like his, an accesory like any other if not for the value they could put on it. A manifestation of pure solid magical energy tying two people together that could never be taken out in normal circumstances. He wasn't anywhere close to saying it out loud, but he missed feeling his when it was there.

"Lucifer knew it would take some time" Lilith examined her hand casually, a brief hand to his own making him want to close his fist. "I only did what was necessary. It may have taken a little more than expected, but it was for the sake of our family."

"Abandon your family and leave your daughter in the dark for their sake. How noble" Alastor couldn't help to chuckle. Before Lilith could reply to him, he continued: "And, if it's not too much of a bother, your Majesty, how well did that work turned out to be? For what miracle should we thank you for after disapearing from the face of hell all this time? Charlie would love to know the rewards for the sacrifice her mother made."

Lilith straighten on her seat, crossing her legs under the table.

"I don't believe any of that concern you" said slowly. "The matters of this dimension, reality, or however you want to call it, have nothing to do with any of you."

"Ah" Lucifer suddenly snapped his finger, pointing to Lilith. "You were up in Heaven, right?" The careful constructed composure of Lilith crumbled in a single blink and Lucifer started laughing, holding to the arm of Alastor, who had to start laughing too. "Seriously!? I was just trying my shot there!" He wheezed, reclining his head forward. "You have to be kidding me! Seven years trying to deal with them? Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me, I can guess this one" Lucifer managed to control his smile to put a thinking expression as his hand rubbed his own chin. "It didn't even fucking work, didn't it? Whatever you were asking of them, they didn't gave it to you or put some stupid condition in the way as if they were the ones doing the favor for you. Either way, they dumped you here when you weren't already useful for them there."

When a slight blush started to creep in through Lilith's face, extending from her neck, they both started snickering.

"All of that talk of how inefficient Lucifer is as a king" said Alastor, taking out his monocle to clean up the tears under his eyes, "and only to trust in Heaven like that?"

"They never listen!" Lucifer shook his head, his own cheek stretched out by his smile. "Ever, ever, ever. Oh, and you know what, babe?" added, patting his chest with a finger.

"What, darling?"

"I bet you anything that her Lucifer also told her that too."

"I find that very easy to believe, my love. Not really worth the bet."

"No matter where we end up, nobody fucking listens to me when I say that! I am just the bitter old little devil who made an oopsie, what do I know, right?" Lucifer rufled his hair, a tinge of frustration layering his words, but quickly he was back to laughing when Alastor snorted loudly at his side.

It was more than what the queen of hell was willing to tolerate. She slammed both her hands on the table, effectively silencing the pair of them in a second.

"It worked!" She snarled. "If you must know so badly, it did work! Thanks to me being over there, they never harmed any of the hellborn in this plane! Never, until my own daughter put herself in their line of fire, went after any of them! That was the only concession they were willing to make! I thought if I was there I could convince them directly to stop the extermination altogether!"

Lucifer and Alastor looked at each other. Then they both made a sound like a deflating balloon, laughing even worse than before.

"Oh my, you really think you did something!" Alastor was almost amazed as he stared at the queen. "That makes it even better of a joke!" finished, slapping his own knee.

"I made the exact same arrengement back at our place, without ever have to give them anything else but the promise I wouldn't intervene" said Lucifer, as soon he was able to regain some air. "As long they could come down and eliminate sinners, they did not give a solitary flying dingy fuck! I am sorry to be the one to break it to you, Lilian" Alastor covered his mouth to barely control his fits. Lucifer ignored him", but you did not need to go there for that to happen! At all! You could have stayed with your family all this time and fight with them here!"

"Get a proper divorce wouldn't have been a bad idea either" Alastor giggled when Lucifer pushed his shoulder, incredulous that he would even say that. "What? Give that poor man an actual closure would have been more merciful and smarter that just trust in Heaven's word."

Lilith glared at him.

"And I suppose you are the expert?" scoffed.

"Yes, actually!" Alastor perked up with glee, showing off his teeth. "I spend five months incarcerated by Heaven when a little slip redeemed my soul and send me there. Very much against my will, I must add! So when it comes to know how much Heaven is willing to listen any dissenting voices, I have plenty of my own experience to talk about. They offered me deals as well to come back home. I rejected all of them because I knew being owed to Heaven was never going to work in my favor."

"Oh, but that is not all!" added Lucifer, hanging from his neck. "Because not only were they keeping my husband, the King's consort and father of the princess of hell, there during all that time. They also were not planning to tell me shit about it! So my Charlie and I were left to believe that he was gone for good. Eliminated from existance forever. Now, I knew they didn't like me very much after the whole fall from grace or whatever, but I gotta admit: I didn't see that one coming. They really outdid themselves on the whole don't giving a fuck category."

"Luckily I made my own way home" Alastor hold up the chin of Lucifer to kiss his chin. The frown that was starting to form on the king's face dissolved as he looked at him. "Withouth any help from them."

"Hell yeah, he did" Lucifer started to smile as he wrapped his other arm around Alastor's neck, coming closer to him.

Alastor tilted his head to accomodate the lips of his king. Their kiss was slow and drain out a most beautiful humming out of Lucifer. When they separated, those yellow eyes stared at him with a glistening spark and Alastor wanted to go for another.

"Wh-what?" That was the first time that the queen was positively speechless. Alastor frowned when Lucifer turned his attention to her. "You… you went to heaven? What do you mean a slip?"

"I had a temporary death and was send there" Alastor shrugged, taking away any importance that could have. "The important part was my retainment."

Lilith blinked a couple of times.

"You were redeemed?" said slowly, as if making sure with herself that she was using the right words. "Everything my daughter is fighting for… you got it?"

"And then he came back, did you forget about that part?" Lucifer made a head gesture to Charlie. "She knows already, by the way."

"And judging by your reaction, you had no idea" added Alastor. Lilith's purple eyes widened for a second, all the confirmation that he needed, and he chuckled again. "Oh, but don't feel too bad about not being told that in all those years you were essentially abandoning your daughter. Heaven was just as surprised as I was when it happened. In fact, they didn't know why it happened at all, which does make it a tad more complicated to promise any soul a sure way into it. If it ever happens on this side, I wouldn't be surprised to know they were not planning to tell anyone down here, not even your royal ears, your Highness. Not unless they saw any gain from it."

A long moment of silence passed through as the queen lowered her head. Her chest barely moving with each breath was the only indication that she hasn't been frozen by a spell. Lucifer started casually playing with the hair of Alastor's nape, waiting on her to react. Alastor inclined his neck towards the touch as his hands locked around the king's waist. There was no reason to rush any of them for them.

Finally, Lilith lifted her gaze to find Lucifer's.

"Take that spell from my daughter" said firmly, straighten up. Her eyebrows were two straight lines in a expression of sternness that wasn't entirely directed at them. "I need to talk to her."

Lucifer made sure that Charlie had already eaten enough from her plate before conceding. Charlie rubbed her eyes briefly, the normal yellow tone of always and a smile back on her face that turned into confusion when Lilith stand up. For her, they were just having a polite and friendly conversation about the renovated hotel and what they could do next to it, so seeing the serious expression of her mother as she kneeled to her side and took her hand seemed to come out of nowhere.

"Sweetie, I am sorry for cutting this visit" started Lilith, brushing a tendril of Charlie's hair behind her ear and cupping her cheek. "I need to speak with a few people in the city. But as soon as I am done, I will be back here, alright? We can have your favorite dinner back at the palace and you can present to me that girlfriend you keep mentioning. I am sure she must be a charming girl."

Charlie's face light up at that.

"Really?" said, squeezing her hand back. "Oh, mom, that would be great! But uh…" she turned to see Lucifer, who had returned to his seat already, "maybe we should be looking trying to get dad back?"

"We can take care of that, duckling" Lucifer flashed a grin for her. "It has been a while since you two saw each other, right?" said, patting Charlie's shoulder and ignoring the glare from the queen. His words were for the princess anyway. "Enjoy this day with your mom, it's okay. We are going to be just talking plans the whole time."

"Indeed, and it will be extremely boring" confirmed Al. "We will inform you of anything we decide to do later on" promised, winking an eye to her and he did threw a glance to Lilith when she didn't seem to like that either. "For today you can relax."

"Alright" Charlie sighed. "I hope this one is the one."

"We will manage" said Alastor, rubbing the side of Lucifer when he felt him tense up.

Charlie nodded and turned to her mom, giving her a hug by the neck. It started soft, but then she squeezed harder and harder until Lilith laughed, patting her back.

"I know from where you are taking those bad habits, dear!" commented, standing up to leave a kiss on her forehead. Lucifer cleaned up the table with a flick of the wrist, even from the leftovers of Lilith, and stand up with Alastor's hand in his. He could continue eating in the staff room if he was still hungry, but they had intruded enough already. No matter what they though about the woman, she was Charlie's mom and Charlie did deserve a break after the dissapointment of yesterday too. "I will come back as soon I can, sweetie. That is a promise" assured the queen, brushing her hair back.

"I know a Lucifer who heard that once!" couldn't help to add Alastor into the air, snickering as Lucifer kept pushing him outside of the kitchen.

"You are the actual worst" whispered Lucifer once they were in the hallway.

Alastor noticed that, despite that, he was still fighting to contain a smirk on his face.

In a place made of darkness, Alastor opened up his eyes. This darkness wasn't the one created by his shadows or one merely created by the abscence of light. It was a weight, it was air, something real and solid that was constantly breathing. Whenever he was called to its interior, there was no doubt that the only reason that force wasn't crushing him, digesting him at his first breath, wasn't because it couldn't or didn't want to do it. Rather because the one holding the wheel had no given that order yet.

"Pet, pet, pet" a cheery voice that came out of nowhere and everywhere at the same time. A voice that made itself known in the middle of a loud party and enchanted everyone who heard it. Beautiful, charming, melodic. The perfect recipe that just needed the right words to convince anyone of shooting their own mother or voluntarely fall into the abyss. Sometimes sounded like his mother, when she wanted to laugh at him. She didn't for the moment. "Yesterday there was quite the commotion at the edge of the city, hasn't it? I haven't seen that kind of power in a very long time. With the king of hell giving him kisses and telling him what a good job he made, no less! You didn't tell me that you had acquired such interesting friends recently."

"They are both irrelevant" The reply came out easy, natural. Alastor wasn't really sure if his mouth was actually moving or his thought were being transmitted some other way. He was aware of his body like a foreign presence that was close, but not enough. "That sinner is a new temporary guest at the hotel. He will be gone shortly so I saw no point to try to bring him up. I wasn't aware that he and the king had any kind of relationship before until yesterday."

The darkness pulsated around him with a silent purr that ran through his entire body.

"Oh? But you still hang out together, don't you?" asked the voice.

"Charlie keeps telling me to keep them company" Alastor shrugged, or thought he did, which may as well be the same thing in that place. "They want to mess around and, as the kids would say, find out. Charlie is so very insistent to make them feel welcome and apparently I am the only one available to fulfill that role. The king, by himself, is not enough with how socially indept he is."

"You poor little boy" She started laughing, her voice bouncing from place to place. Alastor would try to follow her with her eyes without ever seeming to get closer. "So that is how it is? It must be so frustrating to being forced into such a position by the princess. It's not like you are actually getting anything from it."

"Indeed. It feels like I am babysitting most of the time" Alastor swallowed through a throat that felt at his left. "But at least it keeps her happy and relying on me, so that is better than nothing."

"Her trust in you is a valuable resource" she conceded. "Powerful friends are good to have, Al, I keep telling you that, but you don't listen. Are you sure that sinner can't just be disuaded to make a deal or two?"

"I guess I could try" lied Alastor with ease, because one never just said no to her directly. "I am afraid that is a long shot, though, with the king insisting to be so close at all times."

"See into it anyway. Everyone needs a favor sometimes, it wouldn't hurt" That wasn't a clear order. Alastor knew very well the difference, so he could relax a little bit. "What were you doing in that place anyway after those two broke the ground?"

"Taking a few snacks, of course! There was such a conglomeration of people and no one taking a bite. It just seemed like such a waste to not take advantage of the situation."

"That hug the king gave you was cute though" Alastor gripped to his control over his body with all his might. His hearbeat didn't raise. His breathing remained the same. Not even the best polygrapher would be able to detect the slightest change on him. They wouldn't know how much that genuinely surprised him. It was always a gamble to know how much she could see or not, which was probably exactly what she wanted him to assume about her. That way the question was always hanging over him, chasing him over anything he did. "Such cute little friends."

"The king is just way too sentimental. We both know that very well. Give him a little bit of attention and he thinks the world of that someone. I am afraid he has misinterpretated my attempts to keep his daughter pacified as sincere, which has resulted in interactions such as that one at the drop of a hat. If it were any other hellish being I would have no issue shacking him off, but considering his power I am left with little to no choice."

"Mmm, that is true! Lucifer never knew how to read a room. I can only imagine how frustrating it was for you. But luckily now that other sinner is around to hopefully make him feel less lonely!"

"One can only hope" Alastor smiled, waiting to know what actually did she need from him in the first place.

"Yes, because it would be a pity to start making friends with Lucifer when that wasn't a part of our agreement. I can't have you getting too close to one of the major players just yet, Al. Too soon for that."

Alastor already was assuming as such, but the confirmation still left a sting somewhere he couldn't pin point.

"I don't believe there is anything to worry about" assured confidently. "I haven't forgotten what we agreed" added when he could percieve something going around his back, like a breeze on a portion of skin that wasn't covered by his suit somehow.

"I know you don't, Al! If I thought that for a single moment, you wouldn't be standing where you are right now" Another chuckle, this time closer to his ear. Or inside his ear. Or inside his brain, between the grey matter and his skull. Behind his eyes. Somewhere his claws tensed up briefly with the need to dig inside to try to take her out. "But nevermind that! I didn't bring you here to tell you the obvious. More interesting things that you babysitting a lonely king are happening! Some little pawns that haven't moved in a long while are suddenly going at full speed! You haven't heard of anything important happening, did you?" As Alastor was preparing himself to deny it, she continued. "One of them was close to where you were yesterday. You didn't notice?" her voice almost sounded concerned, like she felt pity of how oblivious he was.

Alastor clenched his teeth.

"No" said finally. "Maybe if you tell me who that is, I could stop them."

"Who said I want you to stop them?" She laughed over his left shoulder, light and charming. "No, no, that is way too boring! If anything, if you see them in the future, give them a little hand! As a show of good will, of course. We have to let all the players move before knowing what we should do next, isn't that right? Where is the fun otherwise?"

There it was. The pressure on his neck that wasn't just his neck, pulling tight and quick into whatever made his soul inside his body, pending on an edge he wasn't aware of until then. The cold that washed over him and had only slightly to do with fear or dread. There was no real choice.

"Absolutely" said, widening his smile, wherever it was. "I will make sure they get everything they need."

The weight lifted off, only slightly.

"T hope so. I have no use for a pet that is broken to the point it can't do the most simple task."

He could almost see her smile in front of him before the darkness, with everything that came with it, suddenly retreated and he stumbled on an empty room as if he had just gone up an elevator. He managed to grab himself to a nearby wall before going on his knees. For a moment nothing of what made him was real, but that was something he was expecting so he didn't panic. Slowly he started moving each finger in his hands. The ears at the top of his head. His legs recuperating their firmness over the ground.

When he looked at a clock on the nighstand, he was surprised to see that already a big portion of the day had gone past him and it was the afternoon. Their damned sun had to start coming down in the horizon. Alastor checked himself on the mirror of the bathroom and didn't move from there until he managed to convince his face to smile as usual. No traces of panic or aprehension were acceptable on his eyes.

Only once he was sure nobody get a read on him, he came out the building, where someone had already cleaned up the owner's gut from the sidewalk. Apparently that was a musician that practiced at horrible hours of the night, being the annoyance of all of his neighbors. Alastor actually didn't know if that was true or just a story she told him to excuse using his place. There was a guitar upstairs, and he was dead already, so might as well could be.

When he finally reached the hotel, it was officially night. He had only give a few steps in when he heard the voice of one of his biggest source of stress calling him.

"Alastor, buddy!" Lucifer waved at him from the bar where he and Al were drinking. The dark tail of the king now around the other's leg rather than his waist like usual, but that made small of a difference. At least they weren't doing that weird eye focused thing while whispering things to each other. "There you are! I was wondering when you were going to come in."

When Alastor made his way over there, he kept his hands at his back. He did not look at the face of the monarch mora than he needed to. The stupid thing on his chest could be stupid, but he wasn't. At least Al seemed politely interested on their conversation rather than openly antagonistic.

"Any updates on our stone hunting, your Majesty?" asked before anything else, because that was the only thing that mattered.

"Yeah, actually!" Lucifer finished the long tall glass he was taking and swivel on the seat. "We went with Vassago and we have the stone recharged and a new location. The place is kind of a warehouse so we think it could black market shit moving around for some rich asshole. They could be making the exchange right there. There is going to be less people than on the auction, but also!" added, making finger guns, "Less chances of explosions trapping us underground. So that is cool, isn't it?"

At last, some actual relief. If they moved fast enough, maybe he could avoid giving a "helping hand" altogether and just let Lucifer give him a piece of the stone.

"Great. It seems that you have made some progress today. We can talk about the details tomorrow in the morning" declared, turning on his heels. "For now, this is it for me. Good night to all of you!"

"Hey, wait" called Lucifer, chuckling to himself. "Charlie and Vaggie are gone, so we were thinking of watching a movie in the lobby. Al prepared some snacks already and we are just waiting on Angel to bring the pizza. Don't you want to join?"

"No" Alastor said it more abrupt than he intended. When he turned his head again, he smiled wider even as Al's eyes now were staring into him. "I mean, for goodness sake, no, of course not! You can enjoy your greasy fun all you like for me, though! I have better things to do, like laying in bed and count slaughtered sheep."

"Are you sure? The movie we got is an old timey one. A musical! I know cannibals tend to like those" added, winking an eye to Al, who gave him a smirk in response, before his eyes returned to Alastor. "Later we can try a horror one. You can complain about the fake blood all you want!"

"Tempting. But no" said, lifting his chin. "Have a good night, your Highness."

"Ah, but…" before Lucifer could say anything, Alastor had already disappeared into his shadow. He could still hear when the king turned around on his chair and asked to his companion. "Should we have told him that Lilian is back first?"