#I don't even play the mobile game but whatevs I'm excited!

[tristepinguino]

She's on her way to stuff me into a comically large blender and I'm absolutely rooting for her.

[dieselpvnk]

Why don’t you like your least favorite campaign in rw?

Spearmaster is just. I dont like it so bad. Most of this is btw not objective critisism but just stuff I personally don't like for reasons varying from pretty valid to plain stupid.

there' just way too many moments that I find frustrating and not fun. Sure, you could say skill issue and that I should just get better at the game, but

I did this with chaos + enemy randomizer, I make myself suffer in this game for fun and Spearmaster just hits different. (also yes I'm just taking a chance to bring up this screenshot again because I kinda slayed)

random, but this is the only time I get to mention I was so excited at the start of the campaign, just to get upset upon realizing cool new starting region is just Outskirts, the first few rooms made me hope for a mix of Shaded, Drianage and Superstructure kinda region. I guess seeing what's behind the Surv/Monk starting pipe is cool, but I hoped for something different. Also sad you can't go back there.

The mechanic is nice ig, I like killing things, holding two spears is cool ig, but tbh, a pebbles and a spear is even more effective in most situations. The way Spearmaster gets food is pretty cool and very unique, but I do miss munching on corpses. Not having a stomach slot isn't a big deal, until you remember Spearmaster has a bunch of unique lore pearls bc nobody else has access to pre-collapse Moon. Imo it's much much worse than the story pearl.

Speaking of, the story pearl. It's whatever, don't care, prior to Spearmaster I played Hunter bringing both the pearl and the neuron to Moon and it was much more difficult, as Spearmaster I just used a passage. What IS a problem tho, is having to go between iterators back and forth. I wanted to know what Pebbles was talking about, so I went to Moon first, then I had to go to Pebbles to get top surgery, then I had to go back to Moon again to give her the pearl, and then I had to go to Sky Islands, which is also going past Pebbles through the Precipice.

The spawns are brutal, which is not an issue itself, I liked Artificer's camapaign a lot. The issue id that it feels "bullshit" brutal instesd of "challenging" brutal.

The regions are also not something I enjoy. Past Garbage Wastes? Better as Artificer with brief acid immunity and awesome mobility [and high threat level to compensate]. The only really good part is build-a-ladder room. Waterfront facility? It's whatever, and again better as Artificer because I can make shortcuts myself, as a little treat. any wall is scaleable and gap is crossable [unverified information], the Precipice is bad. Tight jumps, no shelters, missing a jump.is very punishing and a lot of threats on top of that. Yes I know you can bring a grappleworm, but I hate them so I'm not doing that. Moon's Underhang? Struts, I believe. Also very fucking bad, just. she has an awful infestation she should get it checked out. The only and only thing that made me get get that awya from me mod and remove spiders. Also it's hard to navigate and it doesn't have enough shelters to compensate. Moon's superstructure? I don't like superstructure regions because zero-g is the worst mechanic every concieved for rain world. also getting food from neurons is annoying. I know I don't have to I can just go through Superstructure in one cycle. but I still hate it.

The lore? Don't give a shit honestly, I was kinda hyped for the broadcasts but then I just didn't care, I was just hoping I can skip them faster. I don't care about iterator drama stfu!!!! Like it's cool and all. in theory. but in reality I really just ended up not caring at all. Call me a fake fan but I wish they just weren't in there or there was a lot less.

Spearmaster is a lot more enjoyable if you disregard the camapign and do whatever. But at that point I'd rather play slugcats I enjoy more anyway. No dual-wield and no unlimited spears isn't a deal breaker

[purple-plum-petals]

Hello! Please forgive me. If its alright with you, can I get a romantic fnaf security breach matchup? I want to change some matchup details

My pronouns are she/her and I am an introvert. I am straight and prefer guys but if that doesn't count than you can ignore. I don't really like revealing much about myself so you can say that I'm shy and mysterious. My hobbies include dancing (especially ballet and sometimes kpop) and video games like Street Fighter and Mobile Legends. My talent is fitting into kids clothes because of slender my body is. I am a little pale and I get cold very easily, and I guess a little fragile (my bones pop often). My expression tends to look very distant and sad. I cannot emphasize enough how much I want to look like a Ball Jointed Doll, so I try to get as many sweet lolita dresses as possible. I love candy (especially strawberry flavoured ones), but I love tea and coffee more. I also like wearing (and buying) anything pink. I don't like heavy or gourmet meals (or food in general). If I were to be an animatronic, I'd be a cat.

Thank you so much! Feel free to ignore this!

Thank you for sending in a match-up; I think that either Sun or Glamrock Freddy would be good matches for you! I also incorporated the love languages you had mentioned in one of the other asks you had sent me.

Sun is nearly the complete opposite of you personality-wise, but I think that could be something that could benefit both of you in different ways; he could help brighten up your day while your more reserved nature reminds Sun to hold back a little when it comes to his own outgoing (and occasionally overwhelming) personality. Sun loves seeing you smile, so he'd do whatever he can to turn your usual resting frown upside down. Sun also enjoys dancing much like you do, and he would love to watch you dance or even dance with you if you were alright with that! He may look scrawny, but he's actually very strong and could lift you up into the air with no problem. Sun also tends to run on the hotter side so, if you ever needed to warm yourself up, he'd be happy to be your personal heater. I feel like Sun would adore your sense of style as well, always excited to see what cutesy and frilly outfit you put together; he'd be your #1 cheerleader and would be sure to hype you up whenever he had the chance! You and Sun also have very similar love languages (physical touch, words of affirmation, and gift-giving), so you'd both be able to express and receive what you need out of the relationship easily.

Freddy is a very understanding and caring individual who will always be there if you want to talk or need any kind of support; this animatronic is the king of affirmation. While not being very light on his feet (or paws, in this case), Freddy would still want to dance with you if you ever wanted to show him first-hand your love of dance; when not dancing with you, though, he'd be happy to play some music for you and simply watch you from the sidelines. Despite not being that great when it comes to video games, he'd be happy just being able to spend time with you playing the games you like while you most likely completely destroy him in Street Fighter; he's a great loser, though, and always makes sure to compliment you on your amazing wins. Freddy would also keep a stash of candy on his person at all times just in case you got a sudden craving for sweet treats, always making sure he's stocked up with strawberry-flavored candies as they’re your favorite. Freddy also makes sure to compliment your outfits every time he sees you, almost in awe of your style; he doesn't have the opportunity to change much about his appearance, so he loves seeing what outfits you manage to put together whenever he sees you.

[purlturtle]

For the Writers Truth or Dare ask game:

🕯 (candle - do you like editing)

⛸ (roller skate but I don't have that one on desktop 😢 - describe your latest WIP with 5 emojis)

🍦 (ice cream cone - name three good things about a character you hate)

Thank you for the ask, these sound like a great challenge! (full list here)

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

Starting strong - I gotta go all the way to my writing process here, to explain my reply of "a strong 8 - I do enjoy it a lot"

I never learned to write, as in, had a creative writing class, or part of German (or even second-language class)! More specifically, I never learned to draft. My first draft is very often already 80-90% of what will end up on the page, complete with all scenes, adjectives, names of secondary characters etc etc. My editing is mostly catching typos/grammar mistakes and swapping one word or phrase for another. Full re-writes of a scene, taking out a scene, starting a scene over: that happens during the writing process, for me, and even there it's rare. I think I re-ordered scenes once or twice in my entire writing "career"? (as in, this doesn't fit here, I'll cut and paste it somewhere else)

And so, the editing that I do is a clear servicing of my fic in order to make it better, and I always love to do that.

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

Oh boy 😅 I'm currently on desktop too, and the number of emojis is wayyy to small for here. I'll post this when I've answered the third question, and then switch to mobile and edit in hopefully better fitting emojis!

Edit: okay here we go:

🏚️👰‍♂️🤵‍♀️😤🥰

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

Sheesh!! That one is hard. To start with, I don't hate a lot. Like, that word is so strong, it applies to *maybe* one character - and even there it's more of a "I strongly dislike this guy for his actions and motives but I appreciate that that is only because of his (very necessary) role in the narrative." So... let's go with a character that gives me the biggest eyeroll impulse:

Nate No-Last-Name from the Warehouse episode "Instinct"; Mister Blandy Milquetoast McBlandface. It's easy to mock him because he's obviously so ill-suited to being H.G. Wells' romantic partner - but she did choose him, so let's try and find good-faith reasons why.

he clearly loves his daughter very much, and does his best to be a good dad to her. And a lot of that is providing stability/reliability, which can easily be read as boring, but hey, an eight year old (or whatever Adelaide's age is in that episode) doesn't really need the kind of excitement that the artifact brings to their household, and certainly not on a weekly basis.

he equally clearly loves Helena as well. However much or little that is requited or based on any kind of truth, it is there. He's approaching her in good faith, he cares about her, he is trying to build something good with her.

he clearly provides something that Helena is seeking, be it consciously or subconsciously. Hell, a little bit of boring stability and reliability can be exactly what someone needs to get their feet back under them! I only ever read "playing house" being said very disparagingly, with a scoff and a head-toss, but Christ, don't we all need a break sometimes? Doesn't Helena, after all she's been through - all that the Warehouse and the Regents put her through?

I really do like "Instinct" a whole lot, as a character moment for Helena. As much as it hurts my shipper heart to see her in that beige suburban home, I can understand why she's there. And Nate is integral to that, just as much as Adelaide. Yes, he's clearly someone "good enough", someone "at least he respects me as an equal" - not someone you choose because passion has smashed you into their arms, but also, not someone with whom every day is a rollercoaster for emotions. It's like when you have an upset stomach: maybe the richest, tastiest, hottest of all foods isn't a good idea right now. Having bland stuff for a while will help you heal. Might be nothing to write home about, but has all the nutrients and does not aggravate.

Oh man, that turned out to be a long answer! Thank you for asking, that was fun!

[kafus]

OK my feelings on the pokemon presents

excited for BOTH animated side series they announced!! i love all the side animated content pokemon has been putting out recently i'm really excited for both the TCG thing and the paldea series i hope it's as good as twilight wings

i really need to play detective pikachu on 3ds before the new one comes out oopsies its like the only pokemon game i've never played but the sequel on switch looks charming even though it was very obviously meant to be a 3ds game that got stuck in dev hell and looks the part

as per usual don't give a single shit about all the mobile gacha garbage but it was nice to see nemona even though her english voice jumpscared me (used to her jp one in horizons)

in speaking of horizons very funny to be like pokemon horizons coming soon... as if i didn't already watch it in japanese. god the pokemon anime being on netflix sucks ass

disappointed about no announcement of a battle tower in the SV DLC... at this point im probably giving up hope. HOWEVER im very excited for the DLCs!!

unironically super excited for the fucking Selfie Stick and Room Customization and being able to change how i throw my pokeballs like YES GIVE ME MORE CUSTOMIZATION PELASE FOR THE LOVE OF G

the minigames with koraidon/miraidon look cute i hope they run okay

DIPPLIN AND WHATEVER THE NAME OF THE DURALADON EVOLUTION ARE SO GOOD HDSJKSFD

LONG RAIKOU (ALSO THE MECHA COBALION IS AWESOME)

hearing them refer to a pokemon as just. an ogre. like not an ogre pokemon. An Ogre. was really funny to me. ogres are canon to pokemon now

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING DISC POKEMON IS AHHHHHHHH

i love all the new character designs in the second DLC especially!! the BB league looks cool

oh yeah and the mewtwo raids were leaked but im really excited about the mew event stuff because my ribbon master mew can get the mightiest mark!! i enjoyed the CG animation they played to announce it as well. cool theyre giving you something to do with ur mew instead of just taking it and putting it in a box forever

everything about worlds makes me jealous im not there but my friend is buying me the lapras/pikachu plush cause hes in japan rn xoxo yay

that about summarizes all of my feelings. i think

[ceaselxss]

//I'm taking a break from playing so a bigger post about my feelings about a rebirth thing

I have incredibly mixed feelings about the subplot going on with Glenn and Wutai.

And I want to preface that i'm not beholden to the OG, I like the idea of new characters - I absolutely adore Roche. But Glenn is sour for me because I don't love how First SOLDIER was handled. Square Enix has a bad history with mobile games, and while I was originally excited for the concept it fell short for me. I will also fully admit i have some bias as someone who loves Crisis Core because I've envisioned the some of the things First SOLDIER covers with Genesis and Angeal's connections to Sephiroth so it felt... It felt like SE was inserting characters into important aspects of a story for nothing more than a gatcha game. (especially when I found out that the SOLDIERs were named after green tea, on a whim)

I thought Glenn was a fairly nothing character they were trying to insert - I can see now that he was likely already planned for Rebirth and they did a bad job implementing him in a meaningful way

On top of all of that, having him so involved with Rufus pisses me off because I don't want half of Rufus's plot to be based around a character that annoys me.

However, on the other hand, I'm incredibly interested in the Wutai subplot. I think it's a really good story beat; to change the war end with a ceasefire, to give Rufus a more extended plot - if Meteor doesn't happen in this game, it opens up a path for Rufus and the Turks to take in the third game. I've always been interested in 7 exploring Wutai more, to find out more about the war because even Crisis Core barely details anything. I love that both sides are lying, manipulating, the Interim Government is an interesting concept and I have a feeling they sent Yuffie out just to remove her from Wutai for whatever reason.

I believe 100% its all Rufus pulling the strings and I love it; I love that he's a lying two faced bastard who didn't learn his lesson with AVALANCHE.

I'm just annoyed because I feel like I could have liked Glenn if he was done well but with how things are, it feels like a bad vibe to a really cool concept.

[curejiraiya]

I think my 10+ hours into fashion dreamer opinion is it's a good game, but not really a good $50 game.

But of course it probably will be after all the dumb fucking content updates I hate live service games.

I do love dressing people up, and I love getting new things, I love the outfit making. I just wish there was MORE to do, you know? Like there's fun here but it's like mobile app you check once a day for a few weeks fun. Not sink 50 hours into and lose time because you played so long fun. I don't mind not having a story, like a lot of people do but I don't. I love just going around giving people cute outfits. But I wish there was more.

Style Savvy had more restrictions on making outfits, like someone would want a sporty orange skirt and the game was very specific on what that meant. In this game characters are always more vague about what they want, and the categories aren't actually defined so you have to just guess, and often you will guess wrong, but there's no penalty so it doesn't matter. There's also the trend system when making outfits, but you're expected to just remember them; They don't pop up on the UI. If they showed up on the UI I could actually use them, and it would make creating lookits more of a fun creative challenge.

The other kind of outfit creation is when an NPC shows you an item and has you created an outfit for it. But in a really annoying matter there are no restrictions whatsoever, and you're rewarded no matter what you do even if you're not in trend or whatever. So you could just make them wear anything it doesn't matter. I want things to matter!

My biggest complaint though is the UI. The inventory system sucks really bad. Having no categorization for items sucks really bad. If someone's request is for socks, I first have to scroll all the way down to socks and pick those out, before scrolling all the way back up to put together their outfit. With 4,000 items in your inventory that is ridiculous time to scroll. It does not make sense to me that the inventory has no organization. Instead they offer favorites pages, but you only get a few and they suck? You can drag a few items you like onto them, but that's not how fashion works. I don't make everyone wear the same thing over and over. If I get someone who is really into flowers, I'm going to want to make them wear flower clothes. Why would I put the flower clothes in my favorites though, I'm not going to make anyone else wear them. I should be able to search for clothes with flower patterns!!!!

But I do really enjoy what's there, giving lookits to the NPCs is fun! You meet a character like Streamer Steven and get to craft a fun influencer outfit for him. I just wish there were some more restrictions to it, like if Steven had a brand or style. If I would get rewarded for doing things Stephen liked, or penalized for giving Steven outfits that don't work for him. But the game doesn't have those things implemented. It's totally up to you to make your own restrictions, and I think that doesn't fully work in a game like this. On occasions it feels like I'm in a character creator rather than playing a game; and that's not an awful thing, it just doesn't feel like it will capture me for hours on end.

I'm still excited for the updates even if I hate games getting updates. I definitely would have preferred all the content was in there at launch, but there are some styles the game is severely lacking in and I can't wait to see them.

Specifically summer clothes, there are so few summer clothes in this game. There's like three tank tops for type A bodies and there's none for type B. There's one pair of sandals and they're specifically titled zori sandals so I think they're actually meant to go with the kimonos which I haven't seen yet.

There's also a ton of Christmas stuff in the game, so to me it's obvious that all the holiday stuff is going to come in updates but the Christmas stuff was there because the game launched during the Christmas season. Frustrating because the southern hemisphere exists, but also I think winter clothes are boring.

Idk where was I going with this rant. I think this game isn't worth $50 right now but will be in a year. If you're ok with that buy now, if not wait. Even then a lot of the depth of style savvy is missed. I do not think we'll ever get a style savvy game or one like it again. Even without the style savvy aspects though it still is fun.

[cujohcaps]

You wanted thoughts on the ToT debacle, here you go. For me, I'm not a fan. It's already alarming that the JP dub will only be accessible in card stories moving forward, since normally, decisions like that usually foreshadow a sever shutdown for mobile games. But as a player it also severely limits my enjoyment of the game, as I got used to the JP portrayal of the characters. I've listened to the other dubs, but I preferred the JP dub. The stellar voice acting cast was also something that caught my eye when I initially found out about the game, and I was excited for it. But without the voice casting, it makes the characters more flat for me, since the little intricacies of the Voice Actor performances brought them to life. Also, as someone who get distracted easily, listening to the voices also made the main story and personal stories easier to go through. I could sorta follow along with the JP dub- it felt like an audio drama podcast.

But I think the biggest impact for me is the gating of content behind a paywall, while simultaneously giving less to players. Trying to pull a single SSR is a herculean effort, as it requires 18,000 S-Chips (depending on luck, since it might not even be the SSR I want). But considering the amount of grinding time needed, I wonder if it really is worth it. There's less and less reason for me to come back to the game with the decrease in dubbed JP content. While I was starting to save for the Top Ups, I'm not sure that I'm willing to put money into Miyoho like this. Miyoho's other projects aren't being as scaled back as Themis is, and crucially, they still haven't added back Artem's JP dub to the Chapter 6 main story or to Chapter 3 of his Personal Story, after they had promised to. I don't know if the announcement means that they will not be adding back Artem's JP dub at all, but it's something to keep in mind. For me personally, it's cemented my decision to not spend any money on this game and to minimize my playtime on the game going forward. I really hope this isn't the beginning of the end, but only time will tell.

hiya anon! thank you so much for the response, it made me think about things i personally hadn't considered so i really appreciate it. firstly, i've never heard about the server shutdown thing - that is super concerning omg. though i can't imagine hoyoverse actually shutting down one of their games since they're such a big company but who am i to say that LMAO

and you're completely right about not being able to enjoy the story anymore without the JP voices, if you're a player who prefers that dub. each player has become attached to whatever dub they're used to (like me personally im used to CN dub) so to switch to something that's different to the portrayal of the character you have come to know must be really jarring. and im super glad that JP dub made it easier for you to go through the stories, it's just sad knowing you and many other players will no longer have that experience :(

and omg. your second paragraph hit the nail on the head. im surprised i didnt think of this before (i got distracted by the 15 tears we got in the mail and forgot hyv barely gives us anything anymore) this is something that's made me stop playing the game as much too. all the grinding we have to do for S-chips feels futile because of how much we need to save to guarantee the ssr we want. and hoyoverse keeps dropping banner after banner (even though it's literally messing up the timeline) whilst barely giving us time to save up. it's so frustrating. ive felt like this for a while now, but it feels even worse now that you've reminded me it's gating content behind a paywall (especially for JP dub users in this case)

your response really was amazing, it addressed so many concerns that im sure a lot of other players are worried about too, so thank you again! i hope that hyv rethinks their decision, and that you get to enjoy the game again too :'(

[blazehedgehog]

Thoughts on gacha games? Should they be banned?

I'm pretty sure I said it in a review of Sonic Runners or Team Sonic Racing a long time ago, but mobile games did not invent "random boxes full of upgrade equipment."

Play any classic console RPG, and you'll inevitably run across actual boxes full of loot. You don't know what's in them until you open them. Sometimes they have gear, sometimes they have currency, sometimes they have items. They are literally just loot boxes.

When presented in the right context, it can be fun! I'll never turn down a little slice of mystery and discovery.

In mobile games, however... I mean we talk a lot about "saying the quiet part out loud" as it refers to bigotry or white supremacy or whatever, but it can apply to a lot of things, and if you historically look at games like Overwatch or Hearthstone or whatever, developers like Blizzard have been very forthcoming talking about how they structure their gacha systems in terms that are easily relatable to slot machines and other types of gambling devices.

They are deliberately designed to exploit people with poor impulse control by featuring exciting animations, randomized results (often deliberately seeded to make important items more difficult to get), and small enough amounts of currency that it's easy to lose track of how much you're really spending.

They exist entirely inside of a loophole, which in itself is being intentionally exploited. It's not gambling because you aren't using "real" money, you're using in-game currency! (That they want you to buy with real money.)

And sure, you can buy the in-game currency with real money, but you can earn it for free, too! (But it's intentionally balanced so that free currency is a frustrating grind in order to incentivize real money purchases)

And the entire game itself is free, so, really, this is the only way it makes its money back! (Ignoring the fact that the most popular free-to-play games in the business often make 1000x more money than traditional paid retail games, even though these f2p games often have development budgets 1/10th of what most retail games take)

It is greed, obfuscation and deception all the way down.

Genshin Impact, probably one of the most robust and biggest budget f2p gachas out there, makes Mihoyo more than ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS every month.

To put that in perspective, Mihoyo could make an entire, brand new video game from scratch once a month and still probably have money left over.

The main justification being "oh well most players don't actually spend money on the game, a lot of that comes from 'whales' with disposable income to burn" isn't exactly great, either, because again, it's a bald-faced admission that they're preying on their most imbalanced and vulnerable users and are still making more money than they can reasonably spend.

If all paid gacha was outlawed tomorrow I would shed no tears.

[teharrarose]

I don't even know how to start this so...

#StoryTime

About a year and a half, two years ago, I played this videogame called Boyfriend Dungeon. It was my first intro, other than mobile games, of what a hybrid visual novel was. From there, liking that game so much, I dived into Piofoire Fated Memories. A contact I had at a local GameStop saved for me Piofoire 1926 saying he knew I would love it. I quickly found out it was the sequel and purchased and read the first one.

I fell in love. I fell in love with falling in love with anime men, I fell in love with the story, and I fell in love with otome visual novels. From there, I've branched out reading all sorts of visual novels and loving them. The choose your own adventure aspect of these games allow me to fully immerse myself and feel as if I'm the character in the game dealing with whatever fake drama there is...it scratches itches for me that real life can't and I was obsessed.

But my journey didn't just end there at reading them. The more I read, the more the bard within me reminded me that I went to college for Creative Writing and I knew I could also, potentially, write one of these kinds of stories. So, I started planning a huge visual novel story world and characters and plot... and I have a huge project in the works.

When that happens, I talk about it. Let's jump ahead a bit...

So, I started talking about developing my own video games, visual novels more specifically. My brother in june surprised me with training courses to learn godot, and I was already learning RenPy so it was actually happening! I was learning different engines to learn different ways to make video games and visual novels.

It's now July 25th and here is my Game Dev update....

I found out what game jams were and knowing I would love the motivation they provide, so I started participating in them.

My first jam I wrote The Witch's Grasp.

It placed #176/1116 entries and in categories it placed 5th in story!

My second jam I wrote Blind Love and got an artist to help me design two of the characters.... It placed 2nd Overall and won us $200!

I am just so humbled. I knew I could do this physically, mentally, but I truly didn't think I would turn heads as I have seemed to begun to do so! I'm so excited with it only being my second month, I can only get better at my craft from here.

I might work on trying to teach myself to draw again.

I really need to have an artist on call lol but that isn't possible. I'll have to be my own artist... oof. LOL That might be a bit rough, I haven't drawn in years and I was always an amateur at that.... but that's my biggest drawback right now. Two months, you guys....

Can you find what you're supposed to be doing, truthfully, that quickly?

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary285

6/29-30/24

saturday - sunday

didn't draw today (but that is okay (maybe i will?))

mostly i have worked on music, not album related, just stuff for whatever comes after, trying to nail down something to make it compelling for myself to sing on, a part, messing w/ the riffs and mixing and stuff.

just found this:

funny whitebelt thing in the wild, bizarre riffs on this. the rest of the album seems about as good so far.

yeah it's almost over, this is kind of a certified classic if i may say so, or like, when you're look for weird stuff no one really cares about, this is great, super weird riffs, still plays it pretty close to hardcore/pv/metalcore almost but has all kinds of strange flourishes, a lot here to learn from/enjoy, they have an earlier record that i'm excited to hear now, i feel like this is one of those super short emoviolence releases i will find myself coming back to frequently, like palatka and some other stuff.

i don't think i will draw today...not like there is a lot to do. really i want to draw a couple really horrific looking wound-things, and then the rest of the cover i need to wait until i get a photo of myself, basically, and for that i need to feel good about myself, which should be soon, but i need to get good sleep for that to happen!!

i am up right now, not too late but i should be sleeping soon, reading a woman's posts about elden ring's text, as in, the meaning/construction of its meaning and what it points to, it's crazy, because she says a lot of the things i feel, it's really interesting to see, typically with the people into this stuff, a lot of it's about hard details, which is okay, but i do quite like seeing people point out that these games have specific references/evoke ideas from elsewhere in human history, literature and philosophy and so on, here is a post:

i think for her she is pointing at i guess what the characters point at, there was a strange nietzsche reflection today as i played, (the first time in a couple days actually i was taking a break but i woke up so early and figured why not, i suppose), there is this old woman you can encounter in belurat, upon killing messmer, she says some things to you, she is convinced you are one of the dancing lions, and she is grateful to you, and then expresses a guilt, that her ressentiment pushed you to such lengths, the ressentiment of all the beaten/slaughtered has brought you much pain and their relief is here at last a fleeting thing, it still is though. it brings to mind the failure of the moral order which seeks justice in such a way, not that this woman is anything resembling bad, it is instead rather good writing for her to be aware of the ressentiment, of it as something which harms, a difficulty to overcome, in her forgetting, her ability to rest, she rejoins her will, she dies. she was so long cleaved from her will, the stream of life, i think, is maybe what the games point at a lot, the ability to live, for eternal return to not be a crisis but instead the vicious cycle klossowski outlines as an expression of a tragic character perhaps, but still part of a kind of mobility, in truth eternal return becomes impossible as all things mount, forgetting disappears from these worlds, history is atop itself, it is accruing and despite the decay, nothing becomes waste. even in the ruins you see in the games, they are not true ruins really, they are dwellings, nothing sprouts there, the woods are old, the roots evident, you cannot escape the order, or, the order is impressed upon you, constantly.

she also has a post about how the game doesn't seem to be siding with marika/leda/miquella, which i agree with as well, though i do think it tends to agree with leda when she describes the people of the tower being also fucked up, basically, because they are, though this is less some notion of human nature at play i think and instead an expression of a kind of order shared, maybe inherited by both the people of the tower and the erdtree. gosh this is so #nerdy. or like, #dorky. actually. it is like dorkcore. but it's interesting to me because at the end of all that lore junk, you get to the vision of reactionary cultures sprouting up to defend order, in various methods, it is not conquest, it is reaction and suppression which guides the holy sects of either side, or perhaps not just the holy sects, though that is part of the apparatus. really, what it makes apparent, are those apparatuses which exist, the social technologies and the practices that enable them, continuous through this terrible and infinite history.

here too, to return to nietzsche, the way fia represents the self possessed corpses, the deathly as a kind of gentle thing, a will which is snuffed and denied but extant, and a strange reverence in her actions for it, the turn on the saints and christian imagery/text in her character+arc, this here is a transvaluation of things, at least, i feel like it is... perhaps i am #stupid.

anyway, i should sleep now, so

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ladambell]

Feelings are hard.

I've heard it said before that if you continue to like something ironically for long enough — a silly pop song, a movie with bad acting, an ideology, what have you — then it becomes an unironic appreciation of that thing. I think the same might hold true for adulthood: pretend you're a grownup long enough, and you become one. Tick enough boxes in the "responsibilities" column, and the rest — the ennui, the debt, the dread, the back hair — it sneaks up on you.

There was a time in my life that if someone near me was playing a video game, I was there watching them and trying to convince them to let me play, no matter what that game was. Now I'm often either too preoccupied or too burnt out to play games with my own kid. Live service games where you play with or against real humans intimidate me, and mobile games are stuffed full of inspid ads for even more insipid mobile games. Sorry, tangent.

I used to run a podcast. I had a Twitter alt account where I posted silly bits of old cartoons. I even occasionally went out with friends! Madness! Now I get excited by new clothes, appliances, new toiletries. I look forward to working on broadcasts of high school football games — for the money, sure, but also because I get to hang out with people from my last job that I dearly miss.

So all of that... that's how I've been feeling lately. With my thrice-weekly commute, work, cooking, chores, errands, and oh yeah, sleep... it feels like I have little time left for anything else. And with the confluence of those precious moments of free time, a tight family budget, mild social anxiety, and a more-than-mild addiction to social media, it's not hard to see why my interest in hobbies, conversation, and even recreation have gone completely by the wayside.

But now I'm struggling for a sense of identity, because so often it feels like all I am is a tool completing a series of tasks. Filling a space like an extra in a TV show, adding texture to a background without really contributing anything.

What do I even DO anymore? My job definitely serves a purpose in my organization, but it's hard to see anything outside of that. I don't see any product at the end of the day, something I can point to and say "I MADE THAT." When I was in a creative job, even a news editor, I could still point to a piece I cut and say "I MADE THAT" and feel proud of myself. Now, as long as the place isn't burning down and my inbox isn't blowing up, I can't get that feeling anymore. Pointing at a schedule and going "I MADE... sure that... there were... ⁿᵒ ᶜᵒⁿᶠˡⁱᶜᵗˢ" just doesn't hold the same sense of satisfaction for me. And what do I have to show for that, you know? I don't even have anything from my current job I could show to another potential employer and say "I MADE THAT." All I'd have to go on would be whatever praise my current boss has for me, and she barely even knows what I do.

I used this analogy when I gave a presentation to my current team a little while back — this quote from Futurama describes my job perfectly:

So I mean, sure, I get the occasional "attaboy" at work, and it's nice to be appreciated, to have your work acknowledged. But again, words are cheap and no one cares how much money you make. I have nothing of value to show for the time I've spent here so far.

Alicia astounds me. She has her job, AND she does a lot for the kiddo, AND her scout stuff, AND at least two friends she regularly chats with, AND she handles all the bills, AND SHE EVEN READS. Like, books. She's amazing. As useless and milquetoast as I feel sometimes, it's a wonder we're still together. I think the moments I feel surest in myself are the times she boosts me up — when she tells me about how a parent chatted her up at a scout event and asked her how she manages to do everything she does for scouts while also balancing a full-time job, and Alicia praises me: "I have the most wonderful husband, who supports me and helps with our kid, and takes care of so much of the house stuff..." Even now as I type it, I start to tear up. More than being appreciated, it's good to feel necessary. To have a real purpose. To be a pillar for someone else. That's why I keep doing all the adult things — because I know if I don't, I'll be hurting them. Hurting her.

I consider myself a very private person; I don't open up to people without seriously getting to know them first, and I'm fairly antisocial — I really only make friends when I'm stuck with other people in some situation I can't escape. If I were on my own... I'm not sure I could've made it this far. Despite having a degree in mass media, I'm still convinced I wouldn't have gotten the TV job if I hadn't been with her — her old co-worker's husband worked at the TV station, you see. He put in a good word for me. I don't know, I have very few friends and no clue how to network.

I have no idea where I'd be now if it weren't for her.

When he and his brother Justin announced that they were retiring from their jobs at Polygon in 2018, Griffin McElroy said:

It does not matter how happy your work makes you if work is all that there is.

So I guess if I have any sense of identity right now in my life, it's as a supporter, a provider. Life isn't about me, and whether I make things or not doesn't matter all that much. What matters is the family I support, the love I help create. That's more important than a hobby, at least for now. And this feeling of emptiness isn't forever, it's temporary.

I still like video games, although I don't have nearly as much time or money for them as others apparently do.

I still have ongoing games of Scrabble and Words with Friends with a trio of regulars (that I rarely ever talk to).

I still jot down potential Only Connect questions every now and then in the Notes app on my phone.

And I think maybe someday I'd like to find a way to do some more painting. The process never seems all that special at the time, but the results are usually pretty satisfying.

[randomrings]

Dorkiworld Sesh 2

0/28 games complete 2420/7583 checks done (31%)

Aydenja (my Messenger seed): 22% checks done Aydentale (my Undertale seed): 6% checks done Aydio (my Mario 64 seed): 26% checks done Aydow (my Sonic Adventure 2 seed): 23% checks done Lunayden (my Timespinner seed): 14% checks done

Last night's progress:

The Messenger: Found out I can just warp to the Sunken whatever it's called to get a check for someone's Zelda: Link to the Past game. I cleared most of that area. I saved and quit out there so I'll be in the weird underwater temple. There's still a lot I can do in The Messenger. I thought for sure that all 5 of my games would be completely stuck frequently but that hasn't really happened yet. Timespinner definitely got stuck for a good while. I guess this is the caveat of running five games in an async where the max amount of games you can run is five. I have 17 Power Seals. I need 47 to beat the game.

Undertale: Didn't get much farther than before. Turns out I don't have the item I need to fight Mettaton but I did get past the spider boss. I started exploring Waterfall and left off there. Damn, Undertale can be a real slog when you suck at puzzles. Duckie has my Left Home Key as well. You need to beat Mettaton and get those two keys to beat the game.

Super Mario 64: Super Mario 64 was almost BK mode (the term for stuck for anyone reading this that's unaware. Turns out Pokey's Kingdom Hearts 2, specifically Demyx, was holding a bunch of the Super Mario 64 players' keys! I now have access to the second floor, meaning once I get 70 Power Stars, I can fight Bowser and end the seed. Someone also got my Basement key, so I can hypothetically get to every entrance in the game except for what would be Rainbow Ride, what would be the coins in the sky secret, and what would be Tick Tock Clock. I'm holding some important stuff for one or two people that I think I might be able to get now or at least soon. My Power Star count is almost halfway to go mode.

Sonic Adventure 2: I did a fuckton of Eggman checks. I joked about having all junk in the Chao race checks. This unlocked some kind of real world black magic that willed an important item for Duckie into existence. Fortunately, my Chao won the race first try. I told Duckie to name the Chao afterward and she chose the name "Dorkiao". Dorkiao is having issues with the other races, particularly the swimming ones. I am waiting on one more go mode item, the Booster for Tails to be able to hover. I have almost every upgrade in the game but I need 135 emblems to get to the goal of the randomizer. I haven't even unlocked all the stages yet :[.

Timespinner: I have so much mobility in this game but nowhere to go. Until the end of last night's session! I can finally at least warp to the past and access Maw's cave. I'm so excited to finally play more Timespinner. Unfortunately, Ash has an important item toward the end of the game. I hope I can get there. I think I can. But I'm not sure.

Session 2 was a lot funner than Session 1! I went longer than I originally anticipated because I was having so much fun. But yeah, I still have plenty to do. I have no real rush to do so but I want to because I'm having more fun with the async than I thought I would. Today is Birth by Sleep though. My viewers redeemed a community challenge for me to start a Kingdom Hearts series marathon so I would feel bad putting that off entirely for the Dorkiworld. But I might still do a few checks before heading off stream.

[cherchezlafemme]

Whatever I'm writing my diary entry here I'm too tired to handwrite it. August 6, 2023. So I woke up before 9 which was great and I took another concerta so I only have 3 left. I have my appointment on the 15th and hopefully work won't be too tiring so I can make it through the day. I played skyrim for a little bit and the bodygen mod I fiddled with does not seem to be working which is extremely annoying. I will work on it on wednesday. Fuck I also forgot to think about what I wanted for lunches. I spent another 30 dollars on a mobile game to get a skin for the castle which is so fuckinggggg stupid I don't know why I keep doing it. I hope another charm event comes soon I have been saving up items for it. So anyway I got a strawberry crepe from Denny's but I saved it and I hope my brother doesn't eat it because I would like it for breakfast. I also have to get more monster, I have 2 cans left. Is there any hope for getting a new job. There's nothing for college dropouts. Not even on base. No one wants data entry sluts :( so yeah then I decided to start modding stardew valley, I just cannot wrap my head around all of these new content patchers and alternative textures mods. I just edit the tilesheets themselves idc. I'm pretty excited though! I also watched the new Spiderman movey and it was good but the audio on the site I was on was Not good. And there were no subtitles. Oh and also brad slept on my bed last night and spent the day in my room! He's so cute. I did 2 loads on laundry and I would like to wash my sheets and remake my bed. I have to start saving up for a queen size bed. Also hopefully I can get up early enough to exercise tomorrow. I was also going to dye my hair but I kept forgetting. Okay so yeah good night.

[levi-supreme]

Happy New Year sunshine! I wish you and your loved ones a holiday full of happiness and rest. Thank you for sharing with us a bit of your culture! I'm really interested in Asian countries' cultures ❤️

Oh yes, I saw it! I'm sure that would be a nice way to celebrate your birthday haha! Same here, I'm really excited for the new season and to see Levi again 👀

I'm always so happy and in awe to hear you're glad to have me on your blog and that you consider me a dear friend of yours. My heart feels so warm right now and that's all thanks to you. I know I'm repetitive haha, but thank you from the bottom of my heart. You're playing a big role in my road back to recovery and for that I'm eternally grateful. Remember the same goes for you! Whatever problem you're facing, I'm here to help you and give you the love you deserve so much 💖

Omg you make progress really fast haha. So glad to hear you keep enjoying the game and that you're almost done with the first part of the experience. Haha yes, those hybrid flowers seem easy to breed, but actually it's quite hard at the beginning. I still remember my failed attempts haha. Congratulations for your first hybrid flower dear! I'm sure it'll be followed by many others. Oh I've never heard that game before and I wasn't aware it existed a mobile version of animal crossing. If you didn't like it you did a good thing deleting it. I have some games on my phone I don't really play anymore, but I don't want to delete theme because I feel like maybe I could have a change of heart. However, that never happens and then I end up with my phone's memory clogged! I wish you good luck with your progress! But with the rapidity with which you proceed, you probably don't need it 💕

Oh god! I've always wanted to play God of War Ragnarok!! Unfortunately I have a Xbox and the game isn't avaible there, only on ps4/5. I hope your bf likes it and that he's having a good time. When I was younger I used to play Cooking Mama with my brother and we loved it so much! It may seem childish but it's actually a good game. Glad to hear you were able to convince him to buy it and that everything worked out in the end. Once or twice I played GTA with my cousin, I never learned how to drive properly there and I always broke the car by crashing into something. Omg same! I have those Pokémon toys that used to come with McDonald's Happy Meal too. Unfortunately, I don't know anymore where I put them haha 💙

I'm glad to hear you came to a decision regarding Levi's birthday this year. Keeping mind of your creativity, I'm sure it'll be a great event! I'm excited for it and I can't wait to se what you have in mind 💗

Talking about shyness, I feel like I'm ready to reveal myself to you! But I remember you saying once that you enjoy not knowing who I am. So I want to let you decide! I'm happy with being one of your emoji anons so please don't feel pressured! 😊

Yes, you're right. We've come a long way together and likewise, I'm thankful to have you as one of my dearest friends! 🥰🥹

No need to thank me! I read your shipping fics in the past and I was in awe! Like you said, you and Levi are perfect for each other. I feel like with you Levi would be so happy and content with life. I'm so glad to hear you've overcome your insecurities and that you're enjoying this experience!

Thank you so much for the message! You saying that I make you happy makes my heart melt! I'm the one who should thank you for your support, for chatting with me and for letting me become one of your emoji anons! Never apologize for taking your time to reply! I understand you perfectly. Enjoy your holiday sunshine, I love you 💞 ~[🧸]

Hi there my dearest 🧸 anon!!! Good day to you! Thank you so much for the well wishes! It's been raining the entire day and even though I'm not complaining... it's too cold XD I'm glad that I can show you bits and parts of East Asian and Southeast Asian culture over here!!! I'm so happy to hear that you're interested in learning about my culture too. There's probably only a few people here who understands my culture, and I'm really touched to hear these from you hehe. Other than spreading my love for Levi, my blog will also be here to spread the love for East and Southeast Asian culture too!!

Hahha for SNK to air on my birthday is either the best or worse way to celebrate tbh... But yes!! I can't wait to see Levi again 🥺💖 I'm sure everyone misses him terribly and we can't wait for him to appear on the big screen again <3

Hehe. I think I'm also very repetitive, because I'm always talking about how grateful I am to have such a supportive friend like you too! There may be lots of bad things happening on the internet all the time, but I'm glad to have found you! ^^ let's continue to support each other for a long long time ☺️

Hehe, yesterday (21/01) my new Residence Services opened and now I have Isabelle on my island!!! Yay!!!! And Tom Nook just started talking to me about building that campsite to invite K.K. Slider over 😂 and urgh I have to farm for iron nuggets again................ :/ I'm making friends with my island's residents and I'm having so much fun!! I love it when I gift them something and they give me clothes in return haha, it's so cool!!

Talking about hybrid flowers, I got a second pink windflower again! And I got an orange pansy too, and a second one is blooming ^^ I'm trying to manifest for my other flowers to have hybrids too... other than windflowers and pansies, I have hyacinths, cosmos, and mums!! My tulip seeds are still in my storage because I have too many flowers outside my house XD

Pocket camp is actually quite fun!! It's similar to acnh, but you're at a campsite instead of an island. I kinda liked it, but it was hard earning money and I wanted to get those spring-limited kimonos and sakura decorations etc, but then I didn't want to spend money on those lol... so I gave up pocket camp XD but I'm the same!! Sometimes I keep games on my phone because of nostalgia, and I think I'll go back to playing them one day. In the end, I don't and it's just there wasting space.... hahaha.

Well my bf finished God of War Ragnarok already!!! He was complaining about how ridiculously hard it was to get the platinum trophy for the game on the PS achievements, so he stopped playing and he's going to uninstall it haha. I don't follow the God of War series, so it was interesting to watch him playthrough Ragnarok too! Aww cooking mama is really fun!! I used to play it on my cousin's PSP and that's how I got to know cooking mama lol. He loves playing cooking mama now XD

Don't worry, I'm terrible at GTA too. I tried playing it and I failed my first mission miserably???? I keep banging my car and killing people too, so I gave up on the game HAHA. I think my pokemon toys are still somewhere in my room though... I hope I can find them some day hehe.

Since Levi's birthday falls on Christmas, my idea for Happy Birthday Levi this year somehow coincides with the theme of gifting hehe. I'll leave it as it is so that I don't drop anymore spoilers~

Awwww!! 🥺💖 haha, tbh I'm okay with either too! I would love to know who you are, but at the same time, I love the anonymity about you too! I love seeing you as my emoji anon! It feels like I am talking to a secret admirer XD don't feel pressurised to let me know your identity as well, I actually really do enjoy this 'mysterious' factor about not knowing who you are hehe.

Haha I'm glad I overcame that insecurity too! Ultimately, I started writing Levi fics because it makes me happy to show my love for my favourite character is this way, and I started selfshipping because it makes me happy too. I realised I shouldn't be embarrassed for being such a huge selfshipper, and as long as it makes me happy, why not! Even though not many people read my Reivi stuff, I know that there will always be people out there who do read them and that's good enough for me 🥰

Thank you so much for this very thoughtful message too my dearest 🧸!! I appreciate you a lot and I am always keeping you in my thoughts 💚 also, not sure if you saw, but I made a discord server for my followers here!! There's not many of us yet, and I'm still trying to make it a nice cosy place just like my blog too hehe. If you have discord, feel free to join my server!! But same thing: please don't feel pressurised to do so as well ☺️ take care of yourself, and I'm looking forward to hear from you again!!! (*^^*)

[thedummysdummy]

A Surprise Trip

"Why are you sighing over that magazine again?" 

Victor dried his hands on the kitchen towel and glanced at the girl from the corner of his eye. She leaned heavily against the table with her cheek in her palm and a frown on her face. A short shake of her head was the only response, to which Victor grumbled. "Don't give me that. I heard you sighing in that way you sigh when you want me to ask you what is wrong." 

The girl's head shot up with furrowed eyebrows and a scowl. "I do not want you to ask me anything! I'm just looking at these beautiful flowers and wishing I had a flower garden of my own to work on." Her eyes glittered for a moment until she realized she'd fallen right into his trap. 

"I see," Victor replied with the edge of a chuckle tucked into the underside of his words. "Well, a certain dummy should stop fantasizing about flower gardens and start getting ready for work. We need to leave soon or you'll be late." 

"Don't you mean WE will be late?" she teased, though she did close the cover of the magazine and stretch, a small squeak escaping her lips and her belly poking out as her arms rose above her head. Victor sighed and pulled out her chair for her so she had no excuse to continue lounging at the table. 

Minutes later Victor's car hummed down the black pavement that led to their places of work. The girl's fingers gently traced the creases in Victor's palm and he closed his hand, enclosing her fingers in his warmth. “I’ll be back to pick you up at 5pm, so make sure you get your work done on time today. And I’m claiming your weekend.” 

“Whatever you say, Boss.” The girl giggled and tickled Victor’s palm to free her fingers. The sound of her laughter fell on Victor’s ears like honey, encasing his heart in warm sweetness. He grasped her hand tighter. She did not fight him. Instead she leaned over and kissed his cheek as they pulled up to her office. “And don’t worry. I’ll make sure I’m even done early so you don’t have to wait for me!” 

“Bold words for someone who couldn’t even get ready on her own this morning.” Victor chuckled to himself as the girl exited the car and shot him a dirty look of annoyance, tinged with fondness. His eyes remained glued to her back as she retreated into the building and paused at the door to turn back and wave. Victor humored her with a half wave, pulled out his phone, and roared back onto the highway. 

~~~

For once it wasn’t too hard to keep her promise to Victor. The next big release wasn’t for another two weeks and the last film shoot had already been edited. The girl futzed around her office most of the day, watching her employees as they worked on their individual projects. By the time lunch rolled around, she was playing a mobile game on her phone at her desk. 

A knock on the doorframe jerked her attention away from the glowing screen. Kiki stood in the doorway with a large grin on her face. “Your hottie is here to see you. I think he brought you lunch. Lucky!” The girl jumped up from her desk, causing Kiki to laugh. “Don’t look so excited, Boss. You’ll have Anna in here teasing you again!” 

The girl laughed along with her friend and followed her out to the main area of the office, where Victor stood with a takeout container. His eyes brightened as his fiance crossed the room hastily and wrapped her arms around his middle. “I didn’t expect to see you this early, Victor? Slow day at the office?” She looked upwards with those large eyes that made a shiver race down Victor’s spine and he took a deep breath. 

“Is it ever a slow day at LFG? I simply knew that my dummy hadn’t packed lunch and didn’t want to hear her complain about how starving she was when I picked her up after work.” He handed over the takeout container, but did not turn to leave. Recognizing the tell-tale signs of a clingy Victor, the girl took his hand and hauled him toward her office. 

She gestured to her extra chair and closed the door before setting the food down on the desk. “Thank you for the lunch, Victor. But it’s pretty heavy! You brought food for both of us, didn’t you?” 

Victor chuckled and opened the container, producing two forks and handing one to the girl. “I will not deny that there is enough food in there for two people who eat regular portions,” he teased. He sat down and scooped a spoonful of steaming rice and sauce into his mouth. The girl needed no further invitation; she dropped into her own chair and joined Victor in eating from the dish. It didn’t take long for the pair to empty the container and lean back slightly in their chairs. Victor placed his fork in the box and gestured to the computer. “Are you on track to leave on time this evening?” 

“Actually, I’ve run out of things to do. I-”

“Perfect. Gather your things, then. We’ll be off.” Victor cut the girl off and stood, sweeping the container into the trash at the same time. The girl opened her mouth to question him, but decided against it. Instead, a giggle slipped from her lips and she returned her belongings to her purse. This had been his plan the whole time, hadn’t it? She wasn’t given much time to contemplate his sneakiness before Victor grabbed her hand and hauled her out of the office. 

The employees didn’t seem concerned at all as Victor hauled their boss through the office toward the hallway. “See you on Monday!” they all called, chuckling and shooting each other knowing looks. A blush crept over her cheeks and she did her best to hide it as she obediently allowed Victor to drag her out into the hallway. 

“So what have you planned that you need my entire weekend?” the girl asked as they walked down the hallway toward the elevator. “You are lucky I don’t have a lot of work to keep me busy!” 

Victor chuckled and pressed the ‘down’ button. “Luck has nothing to do with it. I’m your boss, remember? I have access to your work schedule. I knew you wouldn’t be too busy this weekend.” He seemed quite pleased with himself and the girl couldn’t help but laugh. They exited the building and Victor opened the car door, ensured the girl was safely buckled inside, and climbed into the driver’s side. 

“You still didn’t answer my question,” the girl complained, though it seemed Victor had no inclination to give away his plans. He turned out of the office parking lot and onto the road leading away from their home. This only served to mystify her further as she watched the city pass by outside the window. They left the urban landscape and wound their way through the suburbs and into the countryside where homes spread farther and farther apart in the landscape. 

The road became familiar. A smile crossed the girl’s face and she squeezed Victor’s hand. “Are we headed for the house in the country? But…I didn’t pack a bag or anything!” 

“Just relax. I packed for you, obviously. Now sit back in your seat and rest until we arrive. I don’t want to hear about how tired my dummy is all weekend.” Victor chuckled as the girl obediently leaned back and closed her eyes without releasing any of the grip on his fingers. She soon began softly snoring. Her hand slipped from Victor’s and he shifted to rest his arm on her chair and bury his fingers in her hair. The afternoon sun was warm as it drifted through the car windows and settled on his arms and face. 

He slowed the car and rolled down the window, allowing the scent of fresh-cut hay and warm dirt to fill his nostrils. Victor took a deep breath and let it out with a smile. The road drifted lazily through the countryside landscape like a ribbon of black across a green dress. Sunflowers grew tall and bright on either side of the pavement and waved in the gentle breeze. 

Victor slowed further and turned into a parking lot on the south side of the road. The shop was small, but a huge yard out back sported plants of all shapes and sizes. Victor parked near the door and turned off the engine, which caused the girl’s eyes to flicker open. “Are we there already?” she mumbled through a mouthful of sleep. 

“Not quite. We had to make a stop first. Come on, wake up and let’s go inside.” Victor unbuckled the girl’s seatbelt and hurried to her door to open it for her. She yawned and rubbed her eyes, taking Victor’s hand before realizing where they were.

“Victor…a plant nursery? What are we doing here?” 

A look of consternation crossed Victor’s face before he rolled his eyes. “Getting a puppy.” The girl’s eyes widened in surprise and Victor scoffed. “Dummy, what do you think we’re doing at a plant nursery? We’re getting plants.”

She immediately felt her cheeks flushing red as Victor chuckled and led her into the shop. Red wagons waited outside the door and the girl grabbed one with a wide grin, ignoring Victor’s sigh as he withdrew his hand from the regular cart. “What kinds of flowers are we getting? Or are we getting vegetables? Are we planting them at the cottage house?”

“The answer is going to be ‘none of the above’ if a certain dummy doesn’t stop asking so many questions.” Victor’s face was stern, but his voice flowed with indulgence. He allowed the girl to step inside first with her wagon rolling noisily across the concrete. Her eyes were bright with excitement as she began looking at the various indoor plants which greeted her. “We are here for outdoor plants, so don’t get attached to anything in here. We might as well go straight outside.” 

The girl nodded and dragged her wagon through the large barn-style doors that led to the yard. She immediately felt like she had stepped into a jungle of color and scent. Tall trees mingled with rows of roses and petunias, climbing vines and low swathes of ground cover. Lavender and sweet honeysuckle scented the air she pulled into her lungs. “How much space is there?” 

“As much space as you like. We’ll make room,” Victor replied. He gently took the girl’s hand in his own and allowed her to lead him deeper into the yard. Neither seemed to feel any sense of hurry; quite to the contrary, they strolled at the pace of a pair seemingly desiring the moment to never end. The girl stopped often to bury her nose in blossoms and draw in deep breaths while Victor’s eyes were particularly soft on her back. 

Little by little the red wagon filled with asters, pink camellias, red and pink carnations, hibiscus, and red and orange roses. The girl showed Victor each plant with excitement before tenderly placing it in the wagon with the others until it was completely full. “I guess we ought to call that good,” she finally murmured, examining the haul. 

Victor nodded and gestured back to the shop. “Let’s go inside and get garden fabric and mulch as well.” He grabbed an abandoned cart and pushed it ahead of him, pausing by a display containing bags upon bags of colored wood chips. He squinted at the color options for a few moments, glanced upward in thought, and selected the dark brown. Rolls of bed fabric, stakes, and various hand tools finished filling the second cart and Victor returned to the girl’s side. “This ought to be sufficient.” 

The girl caught hold of the hem of Victor’s shirt as she followed him to the counter, her wagon still clanking noisily behind her. One by one she handed the delicate little plants to Victor to be placed on the counter, her fingers lingering on his with each touch. He paid, packed their new belongings back in the carts, and back to the car they went. 

“Aren’t you worried about getting dirt in the car?” the girl asked, concern coloring her voice. Victor shook his head and began unloading the plants and supplies into his trunk. What’s a little dirt, his expression said. She shrugged and joined him, and soon the trunk nearly overflowed with greenery. Victor closed it with caution and brushed the dirt from his hands, kissed the warm top of the girl’s head, and returned the carts while she climbed back inside the car. 

There was more warmth in the rest of the drive than the sun could achieve on its own. Intertwined fingers passed heat back and forth while a comfortable silence allowed touch to carry the conversation. Victor and the girl wandered the paths of their own thoughts until they arrived at the white picket fence of the country house. “We’re here. Let’s get everything unloaded and into the garage before it begins to wilt.” 

The girl nodded and hopped out of the car, not even waiting for Victor to open the door for her. With tender care the couple moved the plants from the trunk to the bench in the garage where the window allowed sunshine to reach them. Victor located a hose and an attachment, watered the plants, and hung the hose on a nearby hook. 

“I think we should wait until tomorrow morning to start planting these. I’m sure someone is getting hungry by now.” Victor placed a warm hand on the top of the girl’s head and chuckled as her stomach chose that particular moment to rumble. Her ears burned, but she did her best to appear calm. “That’s what I thought. Come now, inside we go. I had groceries delivered this afternoon. I’ll get our bags.” 

Victor pulled two small travel bags from the back seat of the car and led the girl to the front door. He fumbled with the keys for a moment before the girl snatched them. “Your hands are full, dummy. Let me unlock the door.” She grinned cheekily at Victor and located the key labeled “C.” It slid easily into the lock and turned with a click. 

Cool air rushed out to meet the girl as she swung the door open and stepped inside. Victor followed directly behind, slipping off his shoes and stepping into slippers while setting their bags on the entry floor. A faint scent of lemon filled the air, a byproduct of the cleaning that had obviously been done earlier in the day. The girl looked at Victor quizzically. “How long have you been planning this?” 

“Since I dropped you off at work this morning,” Victor replied distractedly. He picked up their bags again and carried them into the master bedroom, leaving the girl alone in the entry. But not for long; by the time she had unlaced her work shoes and removed them, Victor had returned in a casual t-shirt and shorts. He dropped to one knee next to the girl and began massaging her feet, receiving a sigh of pleasure in return. The stress of the week melted away at the touch of his hands.

Another rumble from her stomach ended the massage. Victor returned to his feet and headed for the kitchen. “Go change into something more comfortable. I’ll make a cup of tea for you to sip while I cook dinner.” 

The girl needed no more persuasion. She disappeared into the bedroom while Victor opened the fridge and pulled out a variety of ingredients. Before long the scent and sound of sizzling steak and bubbling broth filled the open space. The girl drifted in on the current of lovely scent, settling at the counter where a cup of jasmine tea steamed. She sipped quietly as Victor’s confidence filled the space. His exposed biceps caught her attention, followed by the abdominals that pressed against the thin fabric of his shirt. 

He seemed to know exactly where the girl’s eyes were focused and flexed perhaps just a little more broadly than cooking really required. While slicing carrots, he slipped a sliver into his mouth and paused when the girl asked, “Can I have a bite, too?” A mischievous glint came to Victor’s eye and he leaned over the counter. His lips pressed firmly against hers and when he pulled away, half the carrot stick remained in her mouth. 

A memory of her previous (failed) attempt at this game filled the girl’s memory, bringing a smile to her face. “I doubt any of the other carrot sticks will taste as good as that one,” she teased, to which Victor placed another piece between his teeth and repeated his motion. 

“How about that one?” he teased back, removing the steak from the burner and checking in on his soup and potatoes. She flushed and he laughed as he assembled the salad, filled their plates, and joined her at the counter. 

No matter how many times she had Victor’s food, it never ceased to amaze her. Even the most simple of dishes somehow managed to taste magical. Small sounds of pleasure followed each bite, causing the corners of Victor’s lips to twitch upward. It seemed the meal was a success. 

The clock chimed 5 in the parlor and the girl giggled. “Time to go home from work. I told you that I’d be done on time and you wouldn’t have to wait for me.” 

“Sometimes you manage to keep your word,” Victor replied, chuckling and gathering up their plates. “Now let’s clean up so we can enjoy our evening without the dishes hanging over our heads.” 

The girl nodded and padded over to the sink to begin running the water. Victor scraped the remains of their meals into the bin, rinsed them, and slid them into the basin of hot and bubbly water. She stood with a sponge and washed the dishes, while Victor rinsed and dried them. He turned to put the last plate in the cupboard and the girl scooped up a large pile of bubbles, crept closer to Victor, and placed them on the top of his head. 

Victor looked at the girl with confusion until he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the window. The pile of white suds jiggled as he moved, sticking to his unruly black hair. “What did you do that for?” he grumbled, narrowing his eyebrows in a way that caused the girl to burst out into laughter. He swiftly scooped up a handful of his own bubbles and stuck them to her face like a beard. For a moment she paused in shock, eyes wide as Victor began to laugh. 

As the shock wore off, the girl scooped up more bubbles and smashed them in Victor’s face. This seemed to be a declaration of all-out war, and within minutes the pair were soggy and bubbles were all over the floor and counters. They eventually ran out of bubbles and the girl flung herself into Victor’s arms, burying her face in his chest as she laughed.

“Now we need a shower,” Victor attempted to growl, but he couldn’t stop the laughter in his own voice. “Come on, let’s go get cleaned up before a dummy catches cold and ruins the entire weekend.” 

“Yeah, it would sure be no fun to be your nursemaid all weekend,” the girl retorted, earning herself a moment of stunned silence from Victor. It didn’t last long, however, and she found herself being scooped up and carried toward the bathroom. She attempted to struggle, but his strong arms were like an iron cage that she could not escape.

He gently set her down on the tile floor of the bathroom and turned to warm the shower. The comforting sound of falling water and billowing clouds of steam soon enveloped the pair as they began to undress. Though instead of focusing on her own clothes, the girl wrapped her arms around Victor’s neck and grabbed his t-shirt, pulling it up over his head to reveal his well-toned chest. 

Victor rumbled slightly and one corner of his lip lifted mischievously. “So that’s the game we’re playing, hm?” He reciprocated, pulling the girl’s shirt over her head while she unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his pants. They fell to the floor and he stepped out of them as the girl sought his lips. 

But Victor, feeling particularly like a tease, stood up tall so she could not reach. He finished undressing and whisked the girl into the shower, pressing her back against the cool tile and finally ensnaring her lips with his own. Her eyes closed as her back absorbed the cold of the tile and her front absorbed the heat of Victor’s chest. “Be good and don’t squirm,” he rumbled, biting her lip and collarbone as the hot water rolled down their glistening bodies. 

They did, in fact, manage to get clean before the hot water ran out and Victor handed the girl a towel. He dried his hair and wrapped his own towel around his waist, allowed the girl a moment to dry herself, and again scooped her up to carry her into the bedroom. She kicked and giggled, but made no real effort to escape her fiance’s arms. He deposited her on the bed and closed the bedroom door with his foot, more out of habit than necessity. 

The clock chimed ten as the pair finally settled and drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms. 

~~~

Morning dawned as sunny and bright as the day before. The girl woke to an empty bed and the scent of bacon drifting on the air. She stretched and slipped on her slippers, Victor’s shirt she had slipped on as pajamas hanging loosely around her shoulders. 

Said man was standing at the stove with a pair of tongs in one hand and a spatula in the other. A pile of lightly steaming blueberry pancakes sat on a plate next to the stove, while another plate with a layer of paper towels on it awaited the arrival of the bacon. “Good morning,” he called without so much as turning around.

“Good morning,” she replied cheerfully, used to Victor seeming to have a sixth sense which recognized her presence. She poured a cup of coffee from the pot and breathed in the fragrant steam while she watched Victor finish cooking. “Are you ready to get dirty today?” 

“Even dirtier than yesterday?” Victor teased. The girl laughed and he set a plate of breakfast in front of her. “Eat up. We have a lot of plants to get in the ground, and I don’t want to hear my dummy complaining that she’s weak and hungry from lack of food halfway through the job.” He gently pressed the tip of his pointer finger against the girl’s nose and sat down with his own breakfast. 

They soon stood outside the home on the north side, where the lawn went directly up to the steps. A pile of stone sat off to one side, yet another incident of Victor’s meticulous yet speedy planning. “Let’s use the stone to lay out the shape of the bed, then we can use the shovels to remove the grass.” 

The girl nodded and stared at the space a while, laying out the stones in multiple formations before settling on a shape. “This. I like this.” 

Victor nodded and began driving his shovel into the earth, using the spade to slice through the lawn and form the outline of the flowerbed-to-be. After a couple of strokes the girl caught on and began following suit, starting on the far and and working her way toward the center. With that done, they began pulling up the grass. It was so thick and matted that it rolled up neatly like sod, making the job much easier than it could have been. 

The sun felt much hotter as the pair pushed through the physical labor. Sweat dripped down Victor’s face and hair, clinging in glittering beads at the tips of his hair tufts. It only took him fifteen minutes to decide his shirt was unnecessary and he removed it, hanging it on the fence nearby. 

This…was distracting. The girl looked up every two minutes to stare at his glistening body, only to catch herself and lurch back into preparing the ground. Victor noticed, but simply smirked and flexed when he felt her eyes on him. “Grab the roll of fabric, will you? And the stakes and scissors.” He rose and stretched, his back crackling as his spine shifted back into alignment. 

The girl nodded and scurried over to the garage, soon returning with the requested items. She stood on one end of the bed while Victor unrolled the fabric and stretched it to the other side, jammed stakes in the dirt to hold it, and trimmed it to the correct size. The girl staked down her side and they repeated the process, this time cutting the edge to match the wavy design she had chosen. 

From there they laid out the plants in various formations, shifting and arranging until they were both pleased with the visual result. One by one they cut the fabric, dug the holes, and deposited the plants in their new homes until each had left its pot and landed in its final location. The final step was carefully emptying the bags of mulch around the plants and watering them well. 

“We did a pretty decent job,” Victor complimented, wrapping his arm around the girl’s shoulder. He was absolutely soaked with sweat and red from the top of his head to where his waistband cradled his torso. Neither of them had considered the need for sunscreen…

“We sure did. But you’re a tomato, Victor. We should get you inside to take a cool shower and apply some aloe.” 

Victor didn’t argue. A cool shower sounded lovely, despite the fact he didn’t feel all that burnt. He helped the girl gather their tools and garbage, put them away, and stepped into the house. The air conditioning felt wonderful against his damp skin. He peeled away from the girl and headed for the bathroom while she went for the medicine cabinet. A cry of surprise from the bathroom made her giggle; “Hell! You weren’t kidding about the sunburn…” 

When Victor emerged from the shower in his towel, the girl followed him into the bedroom. She held the bottle of aloe in one hand and squirted a generous dollop into her other hand, gently spreading it across Victor’s back as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He shivered slightly and his skin twitched at the cold gel, though the cooling sensation felt good as it settled in. The girl ensured she didn’t miss a single square inch of Victor before setting the bottle down and handing him a large glass of water and a pain killer. 

“You’ll get dehydrated very quickly with that much of you burnt. Make sure you drink lots of water while I make something for us to eat.” She watched until he emptied the glass and hurried to refill it for him. Victor sighed but allowed the girl to pamper him…just this once. It felt rather nice to be fussed over, really.

She soon returned with a sandwich and glass of water for each of them. Victor stood and returned to the living room, refusing to allow food to get in their bed. He sat without allowing his sticky back to touch the couch and ate his late lunch quietly. 

The girl joined in his silence for a long while, until she broke it with a sigh. “It’s nice being out here. Quiet, bright, a large yard and beautiful house…this would be a wonderful place to raise a family. Away from the hustle and bustle of the city, where the kids can play outside without any worry. Pudding could lounge in the windowsill while we bake in the kitchen and the kids build forts in the backyard…” 

It did indeed form a picture of peace and love. Victor was startled for a moment at the thought of children of his own, but the feeling quickly was replaced by a deep longing for the scene the love of his life described. He could practically hear the patter of small feet up and down the hallways and see the sticky hand prints on the glass of the sliding door. A smile played with the corners of his lips and he set down his sandwich plate. He pulled the girl to his side despite the tackiness of the aloe still absorbing into his skin and kissed her cheek. 

“That would definitely be idyllic. This certainly isn’t the most convenient location for us to raise our children, but that doesn’t mean we can’t spend plenty of holidays here.” The girl felt warmth filling her heart as Victor spoke, and suddenly she could hardly wait for the future.