#I don't even play the mobile game but whatevs I'm excited!

[tristepinguino]

She's on her way to stuff me into a comically large blender and I'm absolutely rooting for her.

[dieselpvnk]

Why don’t you like your least favorite campaign in rw?

Spearmaster is just. I dont like it so bad. Most of this is btw not objective critisism but just stuff I personally don't like for reasons varying from pretty valid to plain stupid.

there' just way too many moments that I find frustrating and not fun. Sure, you could say skill issue and that I should just get better at the game, but

I did this with chaos + enemy randomizer, I make myself suffer in this game for fun and Spearmaster just hits different. (also yes I'm just taking a chance to bring up this screenshot again because I kinda slayed)

random, but this is the only time I get to mention I was so excited at the start of the campaign, just to get upset upon realizing cool new starting region is just Outskirts, the first few rooms made me hope for a mix of Shaded, Drianage and Superstructure kinda region. I guess seeing what's behind the Surv/Monk starting pipe is cool, but I hoped for something different. Also sad you can't go back there.

The mechanic is nice ig, I like killing things, holding two spears is cool ig, but tbh, a pebbles and a spear is even more effective in most situations. The way Spearmaster gets food is pretty cool and very unique, but I do miss munching on corpses. Not having a stomach slot isn't a big deal, until you remember Spearmaster has a bunch of unique lore pearls bc nobody else has access to pre-collapse Moon. Imo it's much much worse than the story pearl.

Speaking of, the story pearl. It's whatever, don't care, prior to Spearmaster I played Hunter bringing both the pearl and the neuron to Moon and it was much more difficult, as Spearmaster I just used a passage. What IS a problem tho, is having to go between iterators back and forth. I wanted to know what Pebbles was talking about, so I went to Moon first, then I had to go to Pebbles to get top surgery, then I had to go back to Moon again to give her the pearl, and then I had to go to Sky Islands, which is also going past Pebbles through the Precipice.

The spawns are brutal, which is not an issue itself, I liked Artificer's camapaign a lot. The issue id that it feels "bullshit" brutal instesd of "challenging" brutal.

The regions are also not something I enjoy. Past Garbage Wastes? Better as Artificer with brief acid immunity and awesome mobility [and high threat level to compensate]. The only really good part is build-a-ladder room. Waterfront facility? It's whatever, and again better as Artificer because I can make shortcuts myself, as a little treat. any wall is scaleable and gap is crossable [unverified information], the Precipice is bad. Tight jumps, no shelters, missing a jump.is very punishing and a lot of threats on top of that. Yes I know you can bring a grappleworm, but I hate them so I'm not doing that. Moon's Underhang? Struts, I believe. Also very fucking bad, just. she has an awful infestation she should get it checked out. The only and only thing that made me get get that awya from me mod and remove spiders. Also it's hard to navigate and it doesn't have enough shelters to compensate. Moon's superstructure? I don't like superstructure regions because zero-g is the worst mechanic every concieved for rain world. also getting food from neurons is annoying. I know I don't have to I can just go through Superstructure in one cycle. but I still hate it.

The lore? Don't give a shit honestly, I was kinda hyped for the broadcasts but then I just didn't care, I was just hoping I can skip them faster. I don't care about iterator drama stfu!!!! Like it's cool and all. in theory. but in reality I really just ended up not caring at all. Call me a fake fan but I wish they just weren't in there or there was a lot less.

Spearmaster is a lot more enjoyable if you disregard the camapign and do whatever. But at that point I'd rather play slugcats I enjoy more anyway. No dual-wield and no unlimited spears isn't a deal breaker

[purple-plum-petals]

Hello! Please forgive me. If its alright with you, can I get a romantic fnaf security breach matchup? I want to change some matchup details

My pronouns are she/her and I am an introvert. I am straight and prefer guys but if that doesn't count than you can ignore. I don't really like revealing much about myself so you can say that I'm shy and mysterious. My hobbies include dancing (especially ballet and sometimes kpop) and video games like Street Fighter and Mobile Legends. My talent is fitting into kids clothes because of slender my body is. I am a little pale and I get cold very easily, and I guess a little fragile (my bones pop often). My expression tends to look very distant and sad. I cannot emphasize enough how much I want to look like a Ball Jointed Doll, so I try to get as many sweet lolita dresses as possible. I love candy (especially strawberry flavoured ones), but I love tea and coffee more. I also like wearing (and buying) anything pink. I don't like heavy or gourmet meals (or food in general). If I were to be an animatronic, I'd be a cat.

Thank you so much! Feel free to ignore this!

Thank you for sending in a match-up; I think that either Sun or Glamrock Freddy would be good matches for you! I also incorporated the love languages you had mentioned in one of the other asks you had sent me.

Sun is nearly the complete opposite of you personality-wise, but I think that could be something that could benefit both of you in different ways; he could help brighten up your day while your more reserved nature reminds Sun to hold back a little when it comes to his own outgoing (and occasionally overwhelming) personality. Sun loves seeing you smile, so he'd do whatever he can to turn your usual resting frown upside down. Sun also enjoys dancing much like you do, and he would love to watch you dance or even dance with you if you were alright with that! He may look scrawny, but he's actually very strong and could lift you up into the air with no problem. Sun also tends to run on the hotter side so, if you ever needed to warm yourself up, he'd be happy to be your personal heater. I feel like Sun would adore your sense of style as well, always excited to see what cutesy and frilly outfit you put together; he'd be your #1 cheerleader and would be sure to hype you up whenever he had the chance! You and Sun also have very similar love languages (physical touch, words of affirmation, and gift-giving), so you'd both be able to express and receive what you need out of the relationship easily.

Freddy is a very understanding and caring individual who will always be there if you want to talk or need any kind of support; this animatronic is the king of affirmation. While not being very light on his feet (or paws, in this case), Freddy would still want to dance with you if you ever wanted to show him first-hand your love of dance; when not dancing with you, though, he'd be happy to play some music for you and simply watch you from the sidelines. Despite not being that great when it comes to video games, he'd be happy just being able to spend time with you playing the games you like while you most likely completely destroy him in Street Fighter; he's a great loser, though, and always makes sure to compliment you on your amazing wins. Freddy would also keep a stash of candy on his person at all times just in case you got a sudden craving for sweet treats, always making sure he's stocked up with strawberry-flavored candies as they’re your favorite. Freddy also makes sure to compliment your outfits every time he sees you, almost in awe of your style; he doesn't have the opportunity to change much about his appearance, so he loves seeing what outfits you manage to put together whenever he sees you.

[kafus]

OK my feelings on the pokemon presents

excited for BOTH animated side series they announced!! i love all the side animated content pokemon has been putting out recently i'm really excited for both the TCG thing and the paldea series i hope it's as good as twilight wings

i really need to play detective pikachu on 3ds before the new one comes out oopsies its like the only pokemon game i've never played but the sequel on switch looks charming even though it was very obviously meant to be a 3ds game that got stuck in dev hell and looks the part

as per usual don't give a single shit about all the mobile gacha garbage but it was nice to see nemona even though her english voice jumpscared me (used to her jp one in horizons)

in speaking of horizons very funny to be like pokemon horizons coming soon... as if i didn't already watch it in japanese. god the pokemon anime being on netflix sucks ass

disappointed about no announcement of a battle tower in the SV DLC... at this point im probably giving up hope. HOWEVER im very excited for the DLCs!!

unironically super excited for the fucking Selfie Stick and Room Customization and being able to change how i throw my pokeballs like YES GIVE ME MORE CUSTOMIZATION PELASE FOR THE LOVE OF G

the minigames with koraidon/miraidon look cute i hope they run okay

DIPPLIN AND WHATEVER THE NAME OF THE DURALADON EVOLUTION ARE SO GOOD HDSJKSFD

LONG RAIKOU (ALSO THE MECHA COBALION IS AWESOME)

hearing them refer to a pokemon as just. an ogre. like not an ogre pokemon. An Ogre. was really funny to me. ogres are canon to pokemon now

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT THE FUCKING DISC POKEMON IS AHHHHHHHH

i love all the new character designs in the second DLC especially!! the BB league looks cool

oh yeah and the mewtwo raids were leaked but im really excited about the mew event stuff because my ribbon master mew can get the mightiest mark!! i enjoyed the CG animation they played to announce it as well. cool theyre giving you something to do with ur mew instead of just taking it and putting it in a box forever

everything about worlds makes me jealous im not there but my friend is buying me the lapras/pikachu plush cause hes in japan rn xoxo yay

that about summarizes all of my feelings. i think

[curejiraiya]

I think my 10+ hours into fashion dreamer opinion is it's a good game, but not really a good $50 game.

But of course it probably will be after all the dumb fucking content updates I hate live service games.

I do love dressing people up, and I love getting new things, I love the outfit making. I just wish there was MORE to do, you know? Like there's fun here but it's like mobile app you check once a day for a few weeks fun. Not sink 50 hours into and lose time because you played so long fun. I don't mind not having a story, like a lot of people do but I don't. I love just going around giving people cute outfits. But I wish there was more.

Style Savvy had more restrictions on making outfits, like someone would want a sporty orange skirt and the game was very specific on what that meant. In this game characters are always more vague about what they want, and the categories aren't actually defined so you have to just guess, and often you will guess wrong, but there's no penalty so it doesn't matter. There's also the trend system when making outfits, but you're expected to just remember them; They don't pop up on the UI. If they showed up on the UI I could actually use them, and it would make creating lookits more of a fun creative challenge.

The other kind of outfit creation is when an NPC shows you an item and has you created an outfit for it. But in a really annoying matter there are no restrictions whatsoever, and you're rewarded no matter what you do even if you're not in trend or whatever. So you could just make them wear anything it doesn't matter. I want things to matter!

My biggest complaint though is the UI. The inventory system sucks really bad. Having no categorization for items sucks really bad. If someone's request is for socks, I first have to scroll all the way down to socks and pick those out, before scrolling all the way back up to put together their outfit. With 4,000 items in your inventory that is ridiculous time to scroll. It does not make sense to me that the inventory has no organization. Instead they offer favorites pages, but you only get a few and they suck? You can drag a few items you like onto them, but that's not how fashion works. I don't make everyone wear the same thing over and over. If I get someone who is really into flowers, I'm going to want to make them wear flower clothes. Why would I put the flower clothes in my favorites though, I'm not going to make anyone else wear them. I should be able to search for clothes with flower patterns!!!!

But I do really enjoy what's there, giving lookits to the NPCs is fun! You meet a character like Streamer Steven and get to craft a fun influencer outfit for him. I just wish there were some more restrictions to it, like if Steven had a brand or style. If I would get rewarded for doing things Stephen liked, or penalized for giving Steven outfits that don't work for him. But the game doesn't have those things implemented. It's totally up to you to make your own restrictions, and I think that doesn't fully work in a game like this. On occasions it feels like I'm in a character creator rather than playing a game; and that's not an awful thing, it just doesn't feel like it will capture me for hours on end.

I'm still excited for the updates even if I hate games getting updates. I definitely would have preferred all the content was in there at launch, but there are some styles the game is severely lacking in and I can't wait to see them.

Specifically summer clothes, there are so few summer clothes in this game. There's like three tank tops for type A bodies and there's none for type B. There's one pair of sandals and they're specifically titled zori sandals so I think they're actually meant to go with the kimonos which I haven't seen yet.

There's also a ton of Christmas stuff in the game, so to me it's obvious that all the holiday stuff is going to come in updates but the Christmas stuff was there because the game launched during the Christmas season. Frustrating because the southern hemisphere exists, but also I think winter clothes are boring.

Idk where was I going with this rant. I think this game isn't worth $50 right now but will be in a year. If you're ok with that buy now, if not wait. Even then a lot of the depth of style savvy is missed. I do not think we'll ever get a style savvy game or one like it again. Even without the style savvy aspects though it still is fun.

[each-dustbin1]

Okay, I need to make a post about this, because I kept quiet about it when it happened, but it needs to be said if this game is getting attention on here

The game is mediocre at best and the dev is a giant asshole

For context, I am a GIGANTIC fighting game fan, I will play anything and everything for a few minutes of fun, so when this was in development I was excited, and I bought it days after it came out. On release, the game wouldn't launch properly, and it wasn't fixed for a good couple of months. When I finally got my hands on it, it was fun for a little bit but was ultimately just an unfinished fighter with some barebones gameplay, and it didn't even have a proper training mode. I ended up eventually leaving a steam review, for myself more than anybody else because i'm just some random guy, and I move onto other things, wondering if maybe the game will get improved some day

Eventually, I get a response on my steam profile, asking for clarification on some stuff in my review, in a bit of an asshole way but whatever..... but strangely, they also seem to think i'm planning to release Vita Fighters?

I did not make Vita Fighters, I am not a dev of any kind, Vita Fighters was already released in fact, as a mobile fighter with an upcoming steam port (I think they assumed it was unreleased because I left a review on the steam page and didn't know its origins). So I talk to them, kind of in a dickish way myself, and say i'm not a dev while explaining my review. Which then gets followed up with this

(And here is the image they linked by the way, which they also put in their artwork page on their profile)

Some bizarre attempt at calling me, who's 19 at the time, a marketing team member for a random indie company because I made a comment on a video made by somebody who makes content videos of the game (Dayheyzeus is great by the way, check them out)

I was pretty involved in the Vita Fighters community at the time, so I wasn't as alarmed as I should have been reading this, thinking maybe it was some bizarre misunderstanding, but it's worth knowing that they didn't mention the discord sever or even any other Vita Fighters content channel, which were the only ways I interacted with the game. After this they stopped messaging me, and I didn't end up posting this anywhere other than the Vita Fighters discord server, thinking they might end up harassing me over it.

Well guess what shows up when you look at their other steam reviews.

The topmost review has a comment by the dev accusing the reviewer of using ChatGPT and getting called out for doing that

Another review has the dev rudely responding to somebody complaining about a complete lack of basic features, while also somehow not understanding what a fighting game training mode even is? It's very unprofessional to say the least

Even a review a few days ago is complaining about it crashing, which should tell you that these problems are definitely still not fixed

Hell, some of the game's main selling points, a "Prophet Mode" and whatever this is supposed to be

Are not explained AT ALL in game, and even the store page barely does it, which is a pretty big deal when both are things that are completely unique and have never been implemented in a fighting game before..... how are you supposed to understand them right after booting it up???

I can't link my steam profile on here for whatever reason but it's free to search up yourself to see the texts for yourself (I left out a lot of my rambly messages here for the sake of space), because it really is scummy. This game is a cool concept, but do not let that fool you. The dev is a prick who'd rather slander you for leaving a negative steam review than fix their own game. Don't give Write n Fight any of your attention.

furious that i am not a playable character in this game

[teharrarose]

I don't even know how to start this so...

#StoryTime

About a year and a half, two years ago, I played this videogame called Boyfriend Dungeon. It was my first intro, other than mobile games, of what a hybrid visual novel was. From there, liking that game so much, I dived into Piofoire Fated Memories. A contact I had at a local GameStop saved for me Piofoire 1926 saying he knew I would love it. I quickly found out it was the sequel and purchased and read the first one.

I fell in love. I fell in love with falling in love with anime men, I fell in love with the story, and I fell in love with otome visual novels. From there, I've branched out reading all sorts of visual novels and loving them. The choose your own adventure aspect of these games allow me to fully immerse myself and feel as if I'm the character in the game dealing with whatever fake drama there is...it scratches itches for me that real life can't and I was obsessed.

But my journey didn't just end there at reading them. The more I read, the more the bard within me reminded me that I went to college for Creative Writing and I knew I could also, potentially, write one of these kinds of stories. So, I started planning a huge visual novel story world and characters and plot... and I have a huge project in the works.

When that happens, I talk about it. Let's jump ahead a bit...

So, I started talking about developing my own video games, visual novels more specifically. My brother in june surprised me with training courses to learn godot, and I was already learning RenPy so it was actually happening! I was learning different engines to learn different ways to make video games and visual novels.

It's now July 25th and here is my Game Dev update....

I found out what game jams were and knowing I would love the motivation they provide, so I started participating in them.

My first jam I wrote The Witch's Grasp.

It placed #176/1116 entries and in categories it placed 5th in story!

My second jam I wrote Blind Love and got an artist to help me design two of the characters.... It placed 2nd Overall and won us $200!

I am just so humbled. I knew I could do this physically, mentally, but I truly didn't think I would turn heads as I have seemed to begun to do so! I'm so excited with it only being my second month, I can only get better at my craft from here.

I might work on trying to teach myself to draw again.

I really need to have an artist on call lol but that isn't possible. I'll have to be my own artist... oof. LOL That might be a bit rough, I haven't drawn in years and I was always an amateur at that.... but that's my biggest drawback right now. Two months, you guys....

Can you find what you're supposed to be doing, truthfully, that quickly?

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary285

6/29-30/24

saturday - sunday

didn't draw today (but that is okay (maybe i will?))

mostly i have worked on music, not album related, just stuff for whatever comes after, trying to nail down something to make it compelling for myself to sing on, a part, messing w/ the riffs and mixing and stuff.

just found this:

funny whitebelt thing in the wild, bizarre riffs on this. the rest of the album seems about as good so far.

yeah it's almost over, this is kind of a certified classic if i may say so, or like, when you're look for weird stuff no one really cares about, this is great, super weird riffs, still plays it pretty close to hardcore/pv/metalcore almost but has all kinds of strange flourishes, a lot here to learn from/enjoy, they have an earlier record that i'm excited to hear now, i feel like this is one of those super short emoviolence releases i will find myself coming back to frequently, like palatka and some other stuff.

i don't think i will draw today...not like there is a lot to do. really i want to draw a couple really horrific looking wound-things, and then the rest of the cover i need to wait until i get a photo of myself, basically, and for that i need to feel good about myself, which should be soon, but i need to get good sleep for that to happen!!

i am up right now, not too late but i should be sleeping soon, reading a woman's posts about elden ring's text, as in, the meaning/construction of its meaning and what it points to, it's crazy, because she says a lot of the things i feel, it's really interesting to see, typically with the people into this stuff, a lot of it's about hard details, which is okay, but i do quite like seeing people point out that these games have specific references/evoke ideas from elsewhere in human history, literature and philosophy and so on, here is a post:

i think for her she is pointing at i guess what the characters point at, there was a strange nietzsche reflection today as i played, (the first time in a couple days actually i was taking a break but i woke up so early and figured why not, i suppose), there is this old woman you can encounter in belurat, upon killing messmer, she says some things to you, she is convinced you are one of the dancing lions, and she is grateful to you, and then expresses a guilt, that her ressentiment pushed you to such lengths, the ressentiment of all the beaten/slaughtered has brought you much pain and their relief is here at last a fleeting thing, it still is though. it brings to mind the failure of the moral order which seeks justice in such a way, not that this woman is anything resembling bad, it is instead rather good writing for her to be aware of the ressentiment, of it as something which harms, a difficulty to overcome, in her forgetting, her ability to rest, she rejoins her will, she dies. she was so long cleaved from her will, the stream of life, i think, is maybe what the games point at a lot, the ability to live, for eternal return to not be a crisis but instead the vicious cycle klossowski outlines as an expression of a tragic character perhaps, but still part of a kind of mobility, in truth eternal return becomes impossible as all things mount, forgetting disappears from these worlds, history is atop itself, it is accruing and despite the decay, nothing becomes waste. even in the ruins you see in the games, they are not true ruins really, they are dwellings, nothing sprouts there, the woods are old, the roots evident, you cannot escape the order, or, the order is impressed upon you, constantly.

she also has a post about how the game doesn't seem to be siding with marika/leda/miquella, which i agree with as well, though i do think it tends to agree with leda when she describes the people of the tower being also fucked up, basically, because they are, though this is less some notion of human nature at play i think and instead an expression of a kind of order shared, maybe inherited by both the people of the tower and the erdtree. gosh this is so #nerdy. or like, #dorky. actually. it is like dorkcore. but it's interesting to me because at the end of all that lore junk, you get to the vision of reactionary cultures sprouting up to defend order, in various methods, it is not conquest, it is reaction and suppression which guides the holy sects of either side, or perhaps not just the holy sects, though that is part of the apparatus. really, what it makes apparent, are those apparatuses which exist, the social technologies and the practices that enable them, continuous through this terrible and infinite history.

here too, to return to nietzsche, the way fia represents the self possessed corpses, the deathly as a kind of gentle thing, a will which is snuffed and denied but extant, and a strange reverence in her actions for it, the turn on the saints and christian imagery/text in her character+arc, this here is a transvaluation of things, at least, i feel like it is... perhaps i am #stupid.

anyway, i should sleep now, so

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[ladambell]

Feelings are hard.

I've heard it said before that if you continue to like something ironically for long enough — a silly pop song, a movie with bad acting, an ideology, what have you — then it becomes an unironic appreciation of that thing. I think the same might hold true for adulthood: pretend you're a grownup long enough, and you become one. Tick enough boxes in the "responsibilities" column, and the rest — the ennui, the debt, the dread, the back hair — it sneaks up on you.

There was a time in my life that if someone near me was playing a video game, I was there watching them and trying to convince them to let me play, no matter what that game was. Now I'm often either too preoccupied or too burnt out to play games with my own kid. Live service games where you play with or against real humans intimidate me, and mobile games are stuffed full of inspid ads for even more insipid mobile games. Sorry, tangent.

I used to run a podcast. I had a Twitter alt account where I posted silly bits of old cartoons. I even occasionally went out with friends! Madness! Now I get excited by new clothes, appliances, new toiletries. I look forward to working on broadcasts of high school football games — for the money, sure, but also because I get to hang out with people from my last job that I dearly miss.

So all of that... that's how I've been feeling lately. With my thrice-weekly commute, work, cooking, chores, errands, and oh yeah, sleep... it feels like I have little time left for anything else. And with the confluence of those precious moments of free time, a tight family budget, mild social anxiety, and a more-than-mild addiction to social media, it's not hard to see why my interest in hobbies, conversation, and even recreation have gone completely by the wayside.

But now I'm struggling for a sense of identity, because so often it feels like all I am is a tool completing a series of tasks. Filling a space like an extra in a TV show, adding texture to a background without really contributing anything.

What do I even DO anymore? My job definitely serves a purpose in my organization, but it's hard to see anything outside of that. I don't see any product at the end of the day, something I can point to and say "I MADE THAT." When I was in a creative job, even a news editor, I could still point to a piece I cut and say "I MADE THAT" and feel proud of myself. Now, as long as the place isn't burning down and my inbox isn't blowing up, I can't get that feeling anymore. Pointing at a schedule and going "I MADE... sure that... there were... ⁿᵒ ᶜᵒⁿᶠˡⁱᶜᵗˢ" just doesn't hold the same sense of satisfaction for me. And what do I have to show for that, you know? I don't even have anything from my current job I could show to another potential employer and say "I MADE THAT." All I'd have to go on would be whatever praise my current boss has for me, and she barely even knows what I do.

I used this analogy when I gave a presentation to my current team a little while back — this quote from Futurama describes my job perfectly:

So I mean, sure, I get the occasional "attaboy" at work, and it's nice to be appreciated, to have your work acknowledged. But again, words are cheap and no one cares how much money you make. I have nothing of value to show for the time I've spent here so far.

Alicia astounds me. She has her job, AND she does a lot for the kiddo, AND her scout stuff, AND at least two friends she regularly chats with, AND she handles all the bills, AND SHE EVEN READS. Like, books. She's amazing. As useless and milquetoast as I feel sometimes, it's a wonder we're still together. I think the moments I feel surest in myself are the times she boosts me up — when she tells me about how a parent chatted her up at a scout event and asked her how she manages to do everything she does for scouts while also balancing a full-time job, and Alicia praises me: "I have the most wonderful husband, who supports me and helps with our kid, and takes care of so much of the house stuff..." Even now as I type it, I start to tear up. More than being appreciated, it's good to feel necessary. To have a real purpose. To be a pillar for someone else. That's why I keep doing all the adult things — because I know if I don't, I'll be hurting them. Hurting her.

I consider myself a very private person; I don't open up to people without seriously getting to know them first, and I'm fairly antisocial — I really only make friends when I'm stuck with other people in some situation I can't escape. If I were on my own... I'm not sure I could've made it this far. Despite having a degree in mass media, I'm still convinced I wouldn't have gotten the TV job if I hadn't been with her — her old co-worker's husband worked at the TV station, you see. He put in a good word for me. I don't know, I have very few friends and no clue how to network.

I have no idea where I'd be now if it weren't for her.

When he and his brother Justin announced that they were retiring from their jobs at Polygon in 2018, Griffin McElroy said:

It does not matter how happy your work makes you if work is all that there is.

So I guess if I have any sense of identity right now in my life, it's as a supporter, a provider. Life isn't about me, and whether I make things or not doesn't matter all that much. What matters is the family I support, the love I help create. That's more important than a hobby, at least for now. And this feeling of emptiness isn't forever, it's temporary.

I still like video games, although I don't have nearly as much time or money for them as others apparently do.

I still have ongoing games of Scrabble and Words with Friends with a trio of regulars (that I rarely ever talk to).

I still jot down potential Only Connect questions every now and then in the Notes app on my phone.

And I think maybe someday I'd like to find a way to do some more painting. The process never seems all that special at the time, but the results are usually pretty satisfying.

[cherchezlafemme]

Whatever I'm writing my diary entry here I'm too tired to handwrite it. August 6, 2023. So I woke up before 9 which was great and I took another concerta so I only have 3 left. I have my appointment on the 15th and hopefully work won't be too tiring so I can make it through the day. I played skyrim for a little bit and the bodygen mod I fiddled with does not seem to be working which is extremely annoying. I will work on it on wednesday. Fuck I also forgot to think about what I wanted for lunches. I spent another 30 dollars on a mobile game to get a skin for the castle which is so fuckinggggg stupid I don't know why I keep doing it. I hope another charm event comes soon I have been saving up items for it. So anyway I got a strawberry crepe from Denny's but I saved it and I hope my brother doesn't eat it because I would like it for breakfast. I also have to get more monster, I have 2 cans left. Is there any hope for getting a new job. There's nothing for college dropouts. Not even on base. No one wants data entry sluts :( so yeah then I decided to start modding stardew valley, I just cannot wrap my head around all of these new content patchers and alternative textures mods. I just edit the tilesheets themselves idc. I'm pretty excited though! I also watched the new Spiderman movey and it was good but the audio on the site I was on was Not good. And there were no subtitles. Oh and also brad slept on my bed last night and spent the day in my room! He's so cute. I did 2 loads on laundry and I would like to wash my sheets and remake my bed. I have to start saving up for a queen size bed. Also hopefully I can get up early enough to exercise tomorrow. I was also going to dye my hair but I kept forgetting. Okay so yeah good night.

[levi-supreme]

Happy New Year sunshine! I wish you and your loved ones a holiday full of happiness and rest. Thank you for sharing with us a bit of your culture! I'm really interested in Asian countries' cultures ❤️

Oh yes, I saw it! I'm sure that would be a nice way to celebrate your birthday haha! Same here, I'm really excited for the new season and to see Levi again 👀

I'm always so happy and in awe to hear you're glad to have me on your blog and that you consider me a dear friend of yours. My heart feels so warm right now and that's all thanks to you. I know I'm repetitive haha, but thank you from the bottom of my heart. You're playing a big role in my road back to recovery and for that I'm eternally grateful. Remember the same goes for you! Whatever problem you're facing, I'm here to help you and give you the love you deserve so much 💖

Omg you make progress really fast haha. So glad to hear you keep enjoying the game and that you're almost done with the first part of the experience. Haha yes, those hybrid flowers seem easy to breed, but actually it's quite hard at the beginning. I still remember my failed attempts haha. Congratulations for your first hybrid flower dear! I'm sure it'll be followed by many others. Oh I've never heard that game before and I wasn't aware it existed a mobile version of animal crossing. If you didn't like it you did a good thing deleting it. I have some games on my phone I don't really play anymore, but I don't want to delete theme because I feel like maybe I could have a change of heart. However, that never happens and then I end up with my phone's memory clogged! I wish you good luck with your progress! But with the rapidity with which you proceed, you probably don't need it 💕

Oh god! I've always wanted to play God of War Ragnarok!! Unfortunately I have a Xbox and the game isn't avaible there, only on ps4/5. I hope your bf likes it and that he's having a good time. When I was younger I used to play Cooking Mama with my brother and we loved it so much! It may seem childish but it's actually a good game. Glad to hear you were able to convince him to buy it and that everything worked out in the end. Once or twice I played GTA with my cousin, I never learned how to drive properly there and I always broke the car by crashing into something. Omg same! I have those Pokémon toys that used to come with McDonald's Happy Meal too. Unfortunately, I don't know anymore where I put them haha 💙

I'm glad to hear you came to a decision regarding Levi's birthday this year. Keeping mind of your creativity, I'm sure it'll be a great event! I'm excited for it and I can't wait to se what you have in mind 💗

Talking about shyness, I feel like I'm ready to reveal myself to you! But I remember you saying once that you enjoy not knowing who I am. So I want to let you decide! I'm happy with being one of your emoji anons so please don't feel pressured! 😊

Yes, you're right. We've come a long way together and likewise, I'm thankful to have you as one of my dearest friends! 🥰🥹

No need to thank me! I read your shipping fics in the past and I was in awe! Like you said, you and Levi are perfect for each other. I feel like with you Levi would be so happy and content with life. I'm so glad to hear you've overcome your insecurities and that you're enjoying this experience!

Thank you so much for the message! You saying that I make you happy makes my heart melt! I'm the one who should thank you for your support, for chatting with me and for letting me become one of your emoji anons! Never apologize for taking your time to reply! I understand you perfectly. Enjoy your holiday sunshine, I love you 💞 ~[🧸]

Hi there my dearest 🧸 anon!!! Good day to you! Thank you so much for the well wishes! It's been raining the entire day and even though I'm not complaining... it's too cold XD I'm glad that I can show you bits and parts of East Asian and Southeast Asian culture over here!!! I'm so happy to hear that you're interested in learning about my culture too. There's probably only a few people here who understands my culture, and I'm really touched to hear these from you hehe. Other than spreading my love for Levi, my blog will also be here to spread the love for East and Southeast Asian culture too!!

Hahha for SNK to air on my birthday is either the best or worse way to celebrate tbh... But yes!! I can't wait to see Levi again 🥺💖 I'm sure everyone misses him terribly and we can't wait for him to appear on the big screen again <3

Hehe. I think I'm also very repetitive, because I'm always talking about how grateful I am to have such a supportive friend like you too! There may be lots of bad things happening on the internet all the time, but I'm glad to have found you! ^^ let's continue to support each other for a long long time ☺️

Hehe, yesterday (21/01) my new Residence Services opened and now I have Isabelle on my island!!! Yay!!!! And Tom Nook just started talking to me about building that campsite to invite K.K. Slider over 😂 and urgh I have to farm for iron nuggets again................ :/ I'm making friends with my island's residents and I'm having so much fun!! I love it when I gift them something and they give me clothes in return haha, it's so cool!!

Talking about hybrid flowers, I got a second pink windflower again! And I got an orange pansy too, and a second one is blooming ^^ I'm trying to manifest for my other flowers to have hybrids too... other than windflowers and pansies, I have hyacinths, cosmos, and mums!! My tulip seeds are still in my storage because I have too many flowers outside my house XD

Pocket camp is actually quite fun!! It's similar to acnh, but you're at a campsite instead of an island. I kinda liked it, but it was hard earning money and I wanted to get those spring-limited kimonos and sakura decorations etc, but then I didn't want to spend money on those lol... so I gave up pocket camp XD but I'm the same!! Sometimes I keep games on my phone because of nostalgia, and I think I'll go back to playing them one day. In the end, I don't and it's just there wasting space.... hahaha.

Well my bf finished God of War Ragnarok already!!! He was complaining about how ridiculously hard it was to get the platinum trophy for the game on the PS achievements, so he stopped playing and he's going to uninstall it haha. I don't follow the God of War series, so it was interesting to watch him playthrough Ragnarok too! Aww cooking mama is really fun!! I used to play it on my cousin's PSP and that's how I got to know cooking mama lol. He loves playing cooking mama now XD

Don't worry, I'm terrible at GTA too. I tried playing it and I failed my first mission miserably???? I keep banging my car and killing people too, so I gave up on the game HAHA. I think my pokemon toys are still somewhere in my room though... I hope I can find them some day hehe.

Since Levi's birthday falls on Christmas, my idea for Happy Birthday Levi this year somehow coincides with the theme of gifting hehe. I'll leave it as it is so that I don't drop anymore spoilers~

Awwww!! 🥺💖 haha, tbh I'm okay with either too! I would love to know who you are, but at the same time, I love the anonymity about you too! I love seeing you as my emoji anon! It feels like I am talking to a secret admirer XD don't feel pressurised to let me know your identity as well, I actually really do enjoy this 'mysterious' factor about not knowing who you are hehe.

Haha I'm glad I overcame that insecurity too! Ultimately, I started writing Levi fics because it makes me happy to show my love for my favourite character is this way, and I started selfshipping because it makes me happy too. I realised I shouldn't be embarrassed for being such a huge selfshipper, and as long as it makes me happy, why not! Even though not many people read my Reivi stuff, I know that there will always be people out there who do read them and that's good enough for me 🥰

Thank you so much for this very thoughtful message too my dearest 🧸!! I appreciate you a lot and I am always keeping you in my thoughts 💚 also, not sure if you saw, but I made a discord server for my followers here!! There's not many of us yet, and I'm still trying to make it a nice cosy place just like my blog too hehe. If you have discord, feel free to join my server!! But same thing: please don't feel pressurised to do so as well ☺️ take care of yourself, and I'm looking forward to hear from you again!!! (*^^*)

[thedummysdummy]

A Surprise Trip

"Why are you sighing over that magazine again?" 

Victor dried his hands on the kitchen towel and glanced at the girl from the corner of his eye. She leaned heavily against the table with her cheek in her palm and a frown on her face. A short shake of her head was the only response, to which Victor grumbled. "Don't give me that. I heard you sighing in that way you sigh when you want me to ask you what is wrong." 

The girl's head shot up with furrowed eyebrows and a scowl. "I do not want you to ask me anything! I'm just looking at these beautiful flowers and wishing I had a flower garden of my own to work on." Her eyes glittered for a moment until she realized she'd fallen right into his trap. 

"I see," Victor replied with the edge of a chuckle tucked into the underside of his words. "Well, a certain dummy should stop fantasizing about flower gardens and start getting ready for work. We need to leave soon or you'll be late." 

"Don't you mean WE will be late?" she teased, though she did close the cover of the magazine and stretch, a small squeak escaping her lips and her belly poking out as her arms rose above her head. Victor sighed and pulled out her chair for her so she had no excuse to continue lounging at the table. 

Minutes later Victor's car hummed down the black pavement that led to their places of work. The girl's fingers gently traced the creases in Victor's palm and he closed his hand, enclosing her fingers in his warmth. “I’ll be back to pick you up at 5pm, so make sure you get your work done on time today. And I’m claiming your weekend.” 

“Whatever you say, Boss.” The girl giggled and tickled Victor’s palm to free her fingers. The sound of her laughter fell on Victor’s ears like honey, encasing his heart in warm sweetness. He grasped her hand tighter. She did not fight him. Instead she leaned over and kissed his cheek as they pulled up to her office. “And don’t worry. I’ll make sure I’m even done early so you don’t have to wait for me!” 

“Bold words for someone who couldn’t even get ready on her own this morning.” Victor chuckled to himself as the girl exited the car and shot him a dirty look of annoyance, tinged with fondness. His eyes remained glued to her back as she retreated into the building and paused at the door to turn back and wave. Victor humored her with a half wave, pulled out his phone, and roared back onto the highway. 

~~~

For once it wasn’t too hard to keep her promise to Victor. The next big release wasn’t for another two weeks and the last film shoot had already been edited. The girl futzed around her office most of the day, watching her employees as they worked on their individual projects. By the time lunch rolled around, she was playing a mobile game on her phone at her desk. 

A knock on the doorframe jerked her attention away from the glowing screen. Kiki stood in the doorway with a large grin on her face. “Your hottie is here to see you. I think he brought you lunch. Lucky!” The girl jumped up from her desk, causing Kiki to laugh. “Don’t look so excited, Boss. You’ll have Anna in here teasing you again!” 

The girl laughed along with her friend and followed her out to the main area of the office, where Victor stood with a takeout container. His eyes brightened as his fiance crossed the room hastily and wrapped her arms around his middle. “I didn’t expect to see you this early, Victor? Slow day at the office?” She looked upwards with those large eyes that made a shiver race down Victor’s spine and he took a deep breath. 

“Is it ever a slow day at LFG? I simply knew that my dummy hadn’t packed lunch and didn’t want to hear her complain about how starving she was when I picked her up after work.” He handed over the takeout container, but did not turn to leave. Recognizing the tell-tale signs of a clingy Victor, the girl took his hand and hauled him toward her office. 

She gestured to her extra chair and closed the door before setting the food down on the desk. “Thank you for the lunch, Victor. But it’s pretty heavy! You brought food for both of us, didn’t you?” 

Victor chuckled and opened the container, producing two forks and handing one to the girl. “I will not deny that there is enough food in there for two people who eat regular portions,” he teased. He sat down and scooped a spoonful of steaming rice and sauce into his mouth. The girl needed no further invitation; she dropped into her own chair and joined Victor in eating from the dish. It didn’t take long for the pair to empty the container and lean back slightly in their chairs. Victor placed his fork in the box and gestured to the computer. “Are you on track to leave on time this evening?” 

“Actually, I’ve run out of things to do. I-”

“Perfect. Gather your things, then. We’ll be off.” Victor cut the girl off and stood, sweeping the container into the trash at the same time. The girl opened her mouth to question him, but decided against it. Instead, a giggle slipped from her lips and she returned her belongings to her purse. This had been his plan the whole time, hadn’t it? She wasn’t given much time to contemplate his sneakiness before Victor grabbed her hand and hauled her out of the office. 

The employees didn’t seem concerned at all as Victor hauled their boss through the office toward the hallway. “See you on Monday!” they all called, chuckling and shooting each other knowing looks. A blush crept over her cheeks and she did her best to hide it as she obediently allowed Victor to drag her out into the hallway. 

“So what have you planned that you need my entire weekend?” the girl asked as they walked down the hallway toward the elevator. “You are lucky I don’t have a lot of work to keep me busy!” 

Victor chuckled and pressed the ‘down’ button. “Luck has nothing to do with it. I’m your boss, remember? I have access to your work schedule. I knew you wouldn’t be too busy this weekend.” He seemed quite pleased with himself and the girl couldn’t help but laugh. They exited the building and Victor opened the car door, ensured the girl was safely buckled inside, and climbed into the driver’s side. 

“You still didn’t answer my question,” the girl complained, though it seemed Victor had no inclination to give away his plans. He turned out of the office parking lot and onto the road leading away from their home. This only served to mystify her further as she watched the city pass by outside the window. They left the urban landscape and wound their way through the suburbs and into the countryside where homes spread farther and farther apart in the landscape. 

The road became familiar. A smile crossed the girl’s face and she squeezed Victor’s hand. “Are we headed for the house in the country? But…I didn’t pack a bag or anything!” 

“Just relax. I packed for you, obviously. Now sit back in your seat and rest until we arrive. I don’t want to hear about how tired my dummy is all weekend.” Victor chuckled as the girl obediently leaned back and closed her eyes without releasing any of the grip on his fingers. She soon began softly snoring. Her hand slipped from Victor’s and he shifted to rest his arm on her chair and bury his fingers in her hair. The afternoon sun was warm as it drifted through the car windows and settled on his arms and face. 

He slowed the car and rolled down the window, allowing the scent of fresh-cut hay and warm dirt to fill his nostrils. Victor took a deep breath and let it out with a smile. The road drifted lazily through the countryside landscape like a ribbon of black across a green dress. Sunflowers grew tall and bright on either side of the pavement and waved in the gentle breeze. 

Victor slowed further and turned into a parking lot on the south side of the road. The shop was small, but a huge yard out back sported plants of all shapes and sizes. Victor parked near the door and turned off the engine, which caused the girl’s eyes to flicker open. “Are we there already?” she mumbled through a mouthful of sleep. 

“Not quite. We had to make a stop first. Come on, wake up and let’s go inside.” Victor unbuckled the girl’s seatbelt and hurried to her door to open it for her. She yawned and rubbed her eyes, taking Victor’s hand before realizing where they were.

“Victor…a plant nursery? What are we doing here?” 

A look of consternation crossed Victor’s face before he rolled his eyes. “Getting a puppy.” The girl’s eyes widened in surprise and Victor scoffed. “Dummy, what do you think we’re doing at a plant nursery? We’re getting plants.”

She immediately felt her cheeks flushing red as Victor chuckled and led her into the shop. Red wagons waited outside the door and the girl grabbed one with a wide grin, ignoring Victor’s sigh as he withdrew his hand from the regular cart. “What kinds of flowers are we getting? Or are we getting vegetables? Are we planting them at the cottage house?”

“The answer is going to be ‘none of the above’ if a certain dummy doesn’t stop asking so many questions.” Victor’s face was stern, but his voice flowed with indulgence. He allowed the girl to step inside first with her wagon rolling noisily across the concrete. Her eyes were bright with excitement as she began looking at the various indoor plants which greeted her. “We are here for outdoor plants, so don’t get attached to anything in here. We might as well go straight outside.” 

The girl nodded and dragged her wagon through the large barn-style doors that led to the yard. She immediately felt like she had stepped into a jungle of color and scent. Tall trees mingled with rows of roses and petunias, climbing vines and low swathes of ground cover. Lavender and sweet honeysuckle scented the air she pulled into her lungs. “How much space is there?” 

“As much space as you like. We’ll make room,” Victor replied. He gently took the girl’s hand in his own and allowed her to lead him deeper into the yard. Neither seemed to feel any sense of hurry; quite to the contrary, they strolled at the pace of a pair seemingly desiring the moment to never end. The girl stopped often to bury her nose in blossoms and draw in deep breaths while Victor’s eyes were particularly soft on her back. 

Little by little the red wagon filled with asters, pink camellias, red and pink carnations, hibiscus, and red and orange roses. The girl showed Victor each plant with excitement before tenderly placing it in the wagon with the others until it was completely full. “I guess we ought to call that good,” she finally murmured, examining the haul. 

Victor nodded and gestured back to the shop. “Let’s go inside and get garden fabric and mulch as well.” He grabbed an abandoned cart and pushed it ahead of him, pausing by a display containing bags upon bags of colored wood chips. He squinted at the color options for a few moments, glanced upward in thought, and selected the dark brown. Rolls of bed fabric, stakes, and various hand tools finished filling the second cart and Victor returned to the girl’s side. “This ought to be sufficient.” 

The girl caught hold of the hem of Victor’s shirt as she followed him to the counter, her wagon still clanking noisily behind her. One by one she handed the delicate little plants to Victor to be placed on the counter, her fingers lingering on his with each touch. He paid, packed their new belongings back in the carts, and back to the car they went. 

“Aren’t you worried about getting dirt in the car?” the girl asked, concern coloring her voice. Victor shook his head and began unloading the plants and supplies into his trunk. What’s a little dirt, his expression said. She shrugged and joined him, and soon the trunk nearly overflowed with greenery. Victor closed it with caution and brushed the dirt from his hands, kissed the warm top of the girl’s head, and returned the carts while she climbed back inside the car. 

There was more warmth in the rest of the drive than the sun could achieve on its own. Intertwined fingers passed heat back and forth while a comfortable silence allowed touch to carry the conversation. Victor and the girl wandered the paths of their own thoughts until they arrived at the white picket fence of the country house. “We’re here. Let’s get everything unloaded and into the garage before it begins to wilt.” 

The girl nodded and hopped out of the car, not even waiting for Victor to open the door for her. With tender care the couple moved the plants from the trunk to the bench in the garage where the window allowed sunshine to reach them. Victor located a hose and an attachment, watered the plants, and hung the hose on a nearby hook. 

“I think we should wait until tomorrow morning to start planting these. I’m sure someone is getting hungry by now.” Victor placed a warm hand on the top of the girl’s head and chuckled as her stomach chose that particular moment to rumble. Her ears burned, but she did her best to appear calm. “That’s what I thought. Come now, inside we go. I had groceries delivered this afternoon. I’ll get our bags.” 

Victor pulled two small travel bags from the back seat of the car and led the girl to the front door. He fumbled with the keys for a moment before the girl snatched them. “Your hands are full, dummy. Let me unlock the door.” She grinned cheekily at Victor and located the key labeled “C.” It slid easily into the lock and turned with a click. 

Cool air rushed out to meet the girl as she swung the door open and stepped inside. Victor followed directly behind, slipping off his shoes and stepping into slippers while setting their bags on the entry floor. A faint scent of lemon filled the air, a byproduct of the cleaning that had obviously been done earlier in the day. The girl looked at Victor quizzically. “How long have you been planning this?” 

“Since I dropped you off at work this morning,” Victor replied distractedly. He picked up their bags again and carried them into the master bedroom, leaving the girl alone in the entry. But not for long; by the time she had unlaced her work shoes and removed them, Victor had returned in a casual t-shirt and shorts. He dropped to one knee next to the girl and began massaging her feet, receiving a sigh of pleasure in return. The stress of the week melted away at the touch of his hands.

Another rumble from her stomach ended the massage. Victor returned to his feet and headed for the kitchen. “Go change into something more comfortable. I’ll make a cup of tea for you to sip while I cook dinner.” 

The girl needed no more persuasion. She disappeared into the bedroom while Victor opened the fridge and pulled out a variety of ingredients. Before long the scent and sound of sizzling steak and bubbling broth filled the open space. The girl drifted in on the current of lovely scent, settling at the counter where a cup of jasmine tea steamed. She sipped quietly as Victor’s confidence filled the space. His exposed biceps caught her attention, followed by the abdominals that pressed against the thin fabric of his shirt. 

He seemed to know exactly where the girl’s eyes were focused and flexed perhaps just a little more broadly than cooking really required. While slicing carrots, he slipped a sliver into his mouth and paused when the girl asked, “Can I have a bite, too?” A mischievous glint came to Victor’s eye and he leaned over the counter. His lips pressed firmly against hers and when he pulled away, half the carrot stick remained in her mouth. 

A memory of her previous (failed) attempt at this game filled the girl’s memory, bringing a smile to her face. “I doubt any of the other carrot sticks will taste as good as that one,” she teased, to which Victor placed another piece between his teeth and repeated his motion. 

“How about that one?” he teased back, removing the steak from the burner and checking in on his soup and potatoes. She flushed and he laughed as he assembled the salad, filled their plates, and joined her at the counter. 

No matter how many times she had Victor’s food, it never ceased to amaze her. Even the most simple of dishes somehow managed to taste magical. Small sounds of pleasure followed each bite, causing the corners of Victor’s lips to twitch upward. It seemed the meal was a success. 

The clock chimed 5 in the parlor and the girl giggled. “Time to go home from work. I told you that I’d be done on time and you wouldn’t have to wait for me.” 

“Sometimes you manage to keep your word,” Victor replied, chuckling and gathering up their plates. “Now let’s clean up so we can enjoy our evening without the dishes hanging over our heads.” 

The girl nodded and padded over to the sink to begin running the water. Victor scraped the remains of their meals into the bin, rinsed them, and slid them into the basin of hot and bubbly water. She stood with a sponge and washed the dishes, while Victor rinsed and dried them. He turned to put the last plate in the cupboard and the girl scooped up a large pile of bubbles, crept closer to Victor, and placed them on the top of his head. 

Victor looked at the girl with confusion until he caught a glimpse of his reflection in the window. The pile of white suds jiggled as he moved, sticking to his unruly black hair. “What did you do that for?” he grumbled, narrowing his eyebrows in a way that caused the girl to burst out into laughter. He swiftly scooped up a handful of his own bubbles and stuck them to her face like a beard. For a moment she paused in shock, eyes wide as Victor began to laugh. 

As the shock wore off, the girl scooped up more bubbles and smashed them in Victor’s face. This seemed to be a declaration of all-out war, and within minutes the pair were soggy and bubbles were all over the floor and counters. They eventually ran out of bubbles and the girl flung herself into Victor’s arms, burying her face in his chest as she laughed.

“Now we need a shower,” Victor attempted to growl, but he couldn’t stop the laughter in his own voice. “Come on, let’s go get cleaned up before a dummy catches cold and ruins the entire weekend.” 

“Yeah, it would sure be no fun to be your nursemaid all weekend,” the girl retorted, earning herself a moment of stunned silence from Victor. It didn’t last long, however, and she found herself being scooped up and carried toward the bathroom. She attempted to struggle, but his strong arms were like an iron cage that she could not escape.

He gently set her down on the tile floor of the bathroom and turned to warm the shower. The comforting sound of falling water and billowing clouds of steam soon enveloped the pair as they began to undress. Though instead of focusing on her own clothes, the girl wrapped her arms around Victor’s neck and grabbed his t-shirt, pulling it up over his head to reveal his well-toned chest. 

Victor rumbled slightly and one corner of his lip lifted mischievously. “So that’s the game we’re playing, hm?” He reciprocated, pulling the girl’s shirt over her head while she unbuckled his belt and unbuttoned his pants. They fell to the floor and he stepped out of them as the girl sought his lips. 

But Victor, feeling particularly like a tease, stood up tall so she could not reach. He finished undressing and whisked the girl into the shower, pressing her back against the cool tile and finally ensnaring her lips with his own. Her eyes closed as her back absorbed the cold of the tile and her front absorbed the heat of Victor’s chest. “Be good and don’t squirm,” he rumbled, biting her lip and collarbone as the hot water rolled down their glistening bodies. 

They did, in fact, manage to get clean before the hot water ran out and Victor handed the girl a towel. He dried his hair and wrapped his own towel around his waist, allowed the girl a moment to dry herself, and again scooped her up to carry her into the bedroom. She kicked and giggled, but made no real effort to escape her fiance’s arms. He deposited her on the bed and closed the bedroom door with his foot, more out of habit than necessity. 

The clock chimed ten as the pair finally settled and drifted off to sleep in each other’s arms. 

~~~

Morning dawned as sunny and bright as the day before. The girl woke to an empty bed and the scent of bacon drifting on the air. She stretched and slipped on her slippers, Victor’s shirt she had slipped on as pajamas hanging loosely around her shoulders. 

Said man was standing at the stove with a pair of tongs in one hand and a spatula in the other. A pile of lightly steaming blueberry pancakes sat on a plate next to the stove, while another plate with a layer of paper towels on it awaited the arrival of the bacon. “Good morning,” he called without so much as turning around.

“Good morning,” she replied cheerfully, used to Victor seeming to have a sixth sense which recognized her presence. She poured a cup of coffee from the pot and breathed in the fragrant steam while she watched Victor finish cooking. “Are you ready to get dirty today?” 

“Even dirtier than yesterday?” Victor teased. The girl laughed and he set a plate of breakfast in front of her. “Eat up. We have a lot of plants to get in the ground, and I don’t want to hear my dummy complaining that she’s weak and hungry from lack of food halfway through the job.” He gently pressed the tip of his pointer finger against the girl’s nose and sat down with his own breakfast. 

They soon stood outside the home on the north side, where the lawn went directly up to the steps. A pile of stone sat off to one side, yet another incident of Victor’s meticulous yet speedy planning. “Let’s use the stone to lay out the shape of the bed, then we can use the shovels to remove the grass.” 

The girl nodded and stared at the space a while, laying out the stones in multiple formations before settling on a shape. “This. I like this.” 

Victor nodded and began driving his shovel into the earth, using the spade to slice through the lawn and form the outline of the flowerbed-to-be. After a couple of strokes the girl caught on and began following suit, starting on the far and and working her way toward the center. With that done, they began pulling up the grass. It was so thick and matted that it rolled up neatly like sod, making the job much easier than it could have been. 

The sun felt much hotter as the pair pushed through the physical labor. Sweat dripped down Victor’s face and hair, clinging in glittering beads at the tips of his hair tufts. It only took him fifteen minutes to decide his shirt was unnecessary and he removed it, hanging it on the fence nearby. 

This…was distracting. The girl looked up every two minutes to stare at his glistening body, only to catch herself and lurch back into preparing the ground. Victor noticed, but simply smirked and flexed when he felt her eyes on him. “Grab the roll of fabric, will you? And the stakes and scissors.” He rose and stretched, his back crackling as his spine shifted back into alignment. 

The girl nodded and scurried over to the garage, soon returning with the requested items. She stood on one end of the bed while Victor unrolled the fabric and stretched it to the other side, jammed stakes in the dirt to hold it, and trimmed it to the correct size. The girl staked down her side and they repeated the process, this time cutting the edge to match the wavy design she had chosen. 

From there they laid out the plants in various formations, shifting and arranging until they were both pleased with the visual result. One by one they cut the fabric, dug the holes, and deposited the plants in their new homes until each had left its pot and landed in its final location. The final step was carefully emptying the bags of mulch around the plants and watering them well. 

“We did a pretty decent job,” Victor complimented, wrapping his arm around the girl’s shoulder. He was absolutely soaked with sweat and red from the top of his head to where his waistband cradled his torso. Neither of them had considered the need for sunscreen…

“We sure did. But you’re a tomato, Victor. We should get you inside to take a cool shower and apply some aloe.” 

Victor didn’t argue. A cool shower sounded lovely, despite the fact he didn’t feel all that burnt. He helped the girl gather their tools and garbage, put them away, and stepped into the house. The air conditioning felt wonderful against his damp skin. He peeled away from the girl and headed for the bathroom while she went for the medicine cabinet. A cry of surprise from the bathroom made her giggle; “Hell! You weren’t kidding about the sunburn…” 

When Victor emerged from the shower in his towel, the girl followed him into the bedroom. She held the bottle of aloe in one hand and squirted a generous dollop into her other hand, gently spreading it across Victor’s back as he sat down on the edge of the bed. He shivered slightly and his skin twitched at the cold gel, though the cooling sensation felt good as it settled in. The girl ensured she didn’t miss a single square inch of Victor before setting the bottle down and handing him a large glass of water and a pain killer. 

“You’ll get dehydrated very quickly with that much of you burnt. Make sure you drink lots of water while I make something for us to eat.” She watched until he emptied the glass and hurried to refill it for him. Victor sighed but allowed the girl to pamper him…just this once. It felt rather nice to be fussed over, really.

She soon returned with a sandwich and glass of water for each of them. Victor stood and returned to the living room, refusing to allow food to get in their bed. He sat without allowing his sticky back to touch the couch and ate his late lunch quietly. 

The girl joined in his silence for a long while, until she broke it with a sigh. “It’s nice being out here. Quiet, bright, a large yard and beautiful house…this would be a wonderful place to raise a family. Away from the hustle and bustle of the city, where the kids can play outside without any worry. Pudding could lounge in the windowsill while we bake in the kitchen and the kids build forts in the backyard…” 

It did indeed form a picture of peace and love. Victor was startled for a moment at the thought of children of his own, but the feeling quickly was replaced by a deep longing for the scene the love of his life described. He could practically hear the patter of small feet up and down the hallways and see the sticky hand prints on the glass of the sliding door. A smile played with the corners of his lips and he set down his sandwich plate. He pulled the girl to his side despite the tackiness of the aloe still absorbing into his skin and kissed her cheek. 

“That would definitely be idyllic. This certainly isn’t the most convenient location for us to raise our children, but that doesn’t mean we can’t spend plenty of holidays here.” The girl felt warmth filling her heart as Victor spoke, and suddenly she could hardly wait for the future.

[cujohcaps]

You wanted thoughts on the ToT debacle, here you go. For me, I'm not a fan. It's already alarming that the JP dub will only be accessible in card stories moving forward, since normally, decisions like that usually foreshadow a sever shutdown for mobile games. But as a player it also severely limits my enjoyment of the game, as I got used to the JP portrayal of the characters. I've listened to the other dubs, but I preferred the JP dub. The stellar voice acting cast was also something that caught my eye when I initially found out about the game, and I was excited for it. But without the voice casting, it makes the characters more flat for me, since the little intricacies of the Voice Actor performances brought them to life. Also, as someone who get distracted easily, listening to the voices also made the main story and personal stories easier to go through. I could sorta follow along with the JP dub- it felt like an audio drama podcast.

But I think the biggest impact for me is the gating of content behind a paywall, while simultaneously giving less to players. Trying to pull a single SSR is a herculean effort, as it requires 18,000 S-Chips (depending on luck, since it might not even be the SSR I want). But considering the amount of grinding time needed, I wonder if it really is worth it. There's less and less reason for me to come back to the game with the decrease in dubbed JP content. While I was starting to save for the Top Ups, I'm not sure that I'm willing to put money into Miyoho like this. Miyoho's other projects aren't being as scaled back as Themis is, and crucially, they still haven't added back Artem's JP dub to the Chapter 6 main story or to Chapter 3 of his Personal Story, after they had promised to. I don't know if the announcement means that they will not be adding back Artem's JP dub at all, but it's something to keep in mind. For me personally, it's cemented my decision to not spend any money on this game and to minimize my playtime on the game going forward. I really hope this isn't the beginning of the end, but only time will tell.

hiya anon! thank you so much for the response, it made me think about things i personally hadn't considered so i really appreciate it. firstly, i've never heard about the server shutdown thing - that is super concerning omg. though i can't imagine hoyoverse actually shutting down one of their games since they're such a big company but who am i to say that LMAO

and you're completely right about not being able to enjoy the story anymore without the JP voices, if you're a player who prefers that dub. each player has become attached to whatever dub they're used to (like me personally im used to CN dub) so to switch to something that's different to the portrayal of the character you have come to know must be really jarring. and im super glad that JP dub made it easier for you to go through the stories, it's just sad knowing you and many other players will no longer have that experience :(

and omg. your second paragraph hit the nail on the head. im surprised i didnt think of this before (i got distracted by the 15 tears we got in the mail and forgot hyv barely gives us anything anymore) this is something that's made me stop playing the game as much too. all the grinding we have to do for S-chips feels futile because of how much we need to save to guarantee the ssr we want. and hoyoverse keeps dropping banner after banner (even though it's literally messing up the timeline) whilst barely giving us time to save up. it's so frustrating. ive felt like this for a while now, but it feels even worse now that you've reminded me it's gating content behind a paywall (especially for JP dub users in this case)

your response really was amazing, it addressed so many concerns that im sure a lot of other players are worried about too, so thank you again! i hope that hyv rethinks their decision, and that you get to enjoy the game again too :'(

[blazehedgehog]

Thoughts on gacha games? Should they be banned?

I'm pretty sure I said it in a review of Sonic Runners or Team Sonic Racing a long time ago, but mobile games did not invent "random boxes full of upgrade equipment."

Play any classic console RPG, and you'll inevitably run across actual boxes full of loot. You don't know what's in them until you open them. Sometimes they have gear, sometimes they have currency, sometimes they have items. They are literally just loot boxes.

When presented in the right context, it can be fun! I'll never turn down a little slice of mystery and discovery.

In mobile games, however... I mean we talk a lot about "saying the quiet part out loud" as it refers to bigotry or white supremacy or whatever, but it can apply to a lot of things, and if you historically look at games like Overwatch or Hearthstone or whatever, developers like Blizzard have been very forthcoming talking about how they structure their gacha systems in terms that are easily relatable to slot machines and other types of gambling devices.

They are deliberately designed to exploit people with poor impulse control by featuring exciting animations, randomized results (often deliberately seeded to make important items more difficult to get), and small enough amounts of currency that it's easy to lose track of how much you're really spending.

They exist entirely inside of a loophole, which in itself is being intentionally exploited. It's not gambling because you aren't using "real" money, you're using in-game currency! (That they want you to buy with real money.)

And sure, you can buy the in-game currency with real money, but you can earn it for free, too! (But it's intentionally balanced so that free currency is a frustrating grind in order to incentivize real money purchases)

And the entire game itself is free, so, really, this is the only way it makes its money back! (Ignoring the fact that the most popular free-to-play games in the business often make 1000x more money than traditional paid retail games, even though these f2p games often have development budgets 1/10th of what most retail games take)

It is greed, obfuscation and deception all the way down.

Genshin Impact, probably one of the most robust and biggest budget f2p gachas out there, makes Mihoyo more than ONE HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS every month.

To put that in perspective, Mihoyo could make an entire, brand new video game from scratch once a month and still probably have money left over.

The main justification being "oh well most players don't actually spend money on the game, a lot of that comes from 'whales' with disposable income to burn" isn't exactly great, either, because again, it's a bald-faced admission that they're preying on their most imbalanced and vulnerable users and are still making more money than they can reasonably spend.

If all paid gacha was outlawed tomorrow I would shed no tears.

[punderfulowl]

Top 10 Anime (That I've Seen) in 2020

Well now, it has certainly been awhile. I'm currently sitting at eight months too late for posting this, but, y'know, something something life happens. More accurately, I already made this list, but wanted to try out what response I'd get from Reddit. Turns out, they're not as cool as you guys!

Anyways, as the title states, this is not a list of my favorite anime that came out during 2020, but instead my favorite anime that I just so happen to see during that year. While it's fun to have an end of the year retrospective, I find that having a list in this format not only adds variety, but also helps bring attention to anime that might have been lost in the shuffle in previous years (I also don't have enough time to stay caught up in seasonal releases).

Honorable mentions:

Aggretsuko S3, My Hero Academia S4, Today's Menu For the Emiya Family, Interspecies Reviewers (yes, really), and I Couldn't Become a Hero So I Reluctantly Decided to Get a Job

10. Maid-Sama (2010)

In hindsight, I find it a bit funny that I wanted to watch something wholesome to kick off 2020. Anyway, Maid-Sama is about a high school girl that is also a no nonsense Class President and she kind of has to be at a school where, until recently, was an all boys school. While she kills it in academics and is good at shutting down any shenanigans from the male student body, her financial situation isn't the greatest and has to balance a job at a maid cafe along with her school-related responsibilities. She does her best to hide her employment there to keep up appearances, but is one day found out by one of the boys who happens to be a big flirt and, yeah, hijinks ensue. While this anime doesn't have too many surprises, our main leads bounce off each other well enough to keep me entertained. Nothing I haven't seen already in other anime Rom-Coms, but I think it has more than earned its place at the start of this list.

9. Haganai NEXT (2013)

It's a personal rule of mine when making these lists that I don't include sequels of shows that were in previous lists. While I DID see the first season of Haganai a couple of years ago, it didn't quite make it into the top ten at that time. Because of that, it meets the criteria for this year's list. While I found the characters were just as charming here as I did during the first season, the development of their relationships really took off. It's a shame that it will most likely not get a third season, but I'm happy with what ride this show gave me. But hey! At least I can read the light novels/manga to continue the story! Wait, nevermind, the Haganai fans on Reddit are saying that's a bad idea.

8. Engaged to the Unidentified (2014)

Based off of a Four Panel joke manga, Engaged to the Unidentified tells the story of a girl in high school suddenly getting some life changing news. As it turns out, her grandfather made an arranged engagement with her and the son of a family he knew. Next thing she knows, the boy in question, as well as his little sister, moves into her family's house! While the boy is unassuming at first, there may be more to him and his family than he lets on. Plain and simple, this anime has charmed me. There's a decent amount of drama and mystery despite the source material and I applaud it! Even though this also doesn't have much new to offer, even to the point where I would compare this to Maid-Sama, what made me pick this at the 8th spot were the color choices and animation quality. Give this a shot if you can!

7. Grimoire of Zero (2017)

It's a fantasy/adventure story starring a loli sorcerer and a huge, anthropomorphic white tiger man. I honestly can't say anything else. I won't be able to do it justice. That first sentence should intrigue you a lease a little bit. Read it, again. Please check it out. It's an underrated gem that no one is talking about.

6. ID: Invaded (2020)

Hey, here's something recent! Unfortunately, this is also not something I can say much about. There may not be too many deep characters and the secret bad guy isn't hard to figure out, but BOY is this anime cool! The best way to describe this series is that it's like the movie Inception, but instead of brain heists, it's brain murder mysteries.

5. Carole and Tuesday (2019)

A runaway rich girl has a fated meeting with an orphan and they decide to make music together...oh, this also takes place Mars. Joking aside, this show was something special with its music (a new song almost every episode no less), interesting setting (freaking Mars, dude), and endearing main cast. Shoot, the music itself would be top 3, maybe number 1, but what bogs it down is the show's second half. I can easily see myself watching this again someday, and maybe my opinion will lighten up, but for now, 5 is a dang good spot.

4. Fate/Grand Order: Absolute Demonic Front - Babylonia (2019)

Part of me hesitates placing this high up on list due to this show being animated, fan service spectacle for Fate fans. However, that hesitation is overshadowed by the fact that I am a Fate fan myself and I can do whatever I want with this list. Even if you're not a Fate fan or play FGO, if you enjoy some solid fight animation, this is worth a look.

3. K-On S1 (2009)

I'll admit it, I might regret not watching the second season then putting the series on the list as a whole, but this how I've been doing these lists and I'm such a creature of habit. There's not much I can say about K-On that hasn't already been said. By itself it's an anime classic and one of Kyo-ani's biggest properties. It's a sweet and wholesome watch, but be sure to have some insulin within reach.

2. Princess Principal (2017)

Imagine you're working with a team of programmers trying to make a mobile game then all of a sudden someone asks to make a show out of it. You know, a show with different character motivations, plot, twist and turns and all that? Most might say that's just a shameless, shallow cash grab, but it turns out okay for Princess Principal. Sure, most might summarize this anime as, "cute girls doing espionage things," but with its cast, visuals, and interesting alternative timeline, it works! Apparently there's a new season or movie in the works and I am all for it!

1. Beastars (2019)

I was not expecting this to be number one, but with much deliberation (with myself obviously) this feels right. It tells a pretty unique story while showing itself to be the exception to the rule when it comes to 3D anime.....it being that it's actually good. While I acknowledge that shows like K-On are classics and deserves to be number one on many different lists, it didn't line up with my personal criteria like Beastars did. My biggest deciding factor is: Now that I've watched this, do I want more? It's true that while I'm excited to start K-On S2, Beastars intrigues me more and ever since season two was announced, I'm looking forward to that more.

Sorry again for this list being so late, but at least the silver lining is that the next end of the year list is about four months away (in theory)!

[fayesdiary]

List of reasons why I unironically think the best way to enjoy Heroes is to not play it:

(This isn't to shit on anyone who likes the game, just... read all the way until the end, please.)

You can get excited at every new banner without having to worry about powercreep, saving your orbs or other stuff;

You can enjoy the best parts of Heroes (the art, lines, voice acting and interactions) for absolutely free, right away;

You don't have to get a headache trying to understand paragraph-long skills;

You save a lot of space on your phone, seriously even the lite version is ridiculously huge. That, or I just have a shitty phone, or both;

You don't need to do every single monthly quest, arena, mode and whatever modes they added just to get more resources. As someone who played a bunch of mobile games before, this shit is designed to get you to sink a lot of time in tasks that might not even be fun in the first place. I remember I quit Heroes three years ago because I was about to do the high school finals and I realized just how much time I was sinking into it doing arbitrary thing that stopped being fun a long time ago, and just doing them to get orbs and have another shot at summoning another Hero, hoping it was the one I wanted. Almost all of the time it wasn't because the summoning is rigged against you, but I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that. And the worst thing is, I didn't realized how much time I spent playing Heroes and not even fun until after I uninstalled it. This is also why I never felt the urge to come back and it's such a shame because if this was a mainline title or at least not a gacha it would be my favorite. Huge crossover? You can customize units however you want? Sims-like minigame in the form of Aether Resort? Endless potential for character interactions and what-ifs? It would be the best thing ever! But still, the fact it's a colossal, mostly unfun time sink is one of the reasons I stopped playing it and never looked back. The other is...

Heroes is a gacha. Or in other words, gambling. Now, I don't care that it's a mobile game. It could have been a AAA(derogatory) title on the Switch, be the best FE title ever and the problem would still stand with its current monetization. Because make no mistake, gacha games are inherently predatory, and the players are subject to constant psychological manipulation to get them to spend as much money as possible. And there are several horror stories of people spending an unfathomable amount of money because of pressure by a limited time banner and what not, and the general attack to neurodivergent people who are more vulnerable to this sort of manipulation. This video by Jim Sterling really encapsulate the damage this does to people's lives and the truth behind shit concepts like "personal responsibility", "self-control" and "whales", I recommend you give it a watch. (And also subscribe to them because they're great and expose the gaming industry for the abusive shithole it truly is behind the curtain.) Hell, from personal experience: While I haven't spent any money in mobile games in general, I constantly felt the pressure as someone who loves minmaxing and is really vulnerable to FOMO, and the only reason I haven't caved in is because I never had a credit card enable to Google Pay so there was enough of a wall to get me to stop before it was too late. Because after you make the first purchase, opening the wallet again would have been much, much easier. And I still spent a ridiculous amount of time on the game doing henious tasks just to get those few extra orbs, to do one more summon hoping it's the one Hero I want and constantly being disappointed because the chances are rigged against you. My experiences with gacha games made me realize how vulnerable I am to develop a gambling addiction, and it's why I refuse to play another gacha ever again. Better safe than sorry. And still, if I was a parent I would be fucking terrified, because children are much more vulnerable to this kind of pressure. Having to check every single game they play to ensure there are no microtransactions, and still not being safe because they could always make a "suprise" update and add microtransactions and loot boxes that won't be notified in the boxart warnings, or when you've already bought it. Make no mistake, this is psychological warfare through and through, and it can't be fixed through "self-control" and "personal responsibility". This shit needs to be regulated.