#I don't even care if the model I was taught becomes outdated

[ask-thearchivists]

Earth is a terrestrial planet, despite 70% of it's surface being covered in water. It has a molten iron core, and has existed for about 4.5 billion years. It's the third planet out from it's star (a yellow dwarf).

The Cartologist: Oooh, interesting, is there more?

The Cartologist: Oh, is that what the song about cheese comes from?

The Coordinator: Yes, mortal planets that have had life for a long time do tend to experience multiple extinction events, which is one of the reasons it is important we tend to our duties.

[variousqueerthings]

okay okay some trans guy daniel vibes

1. pre-California

1. he was one of those kids who talked very adamantly about being a boy early on in his life, so both of his parents knew, with the limitations of the 70s in terms of language and context

2. even with the limitations of the 70s it's not like there was nothing, although I don't think they knew much in terms of like... finding a wider community of people. there was just enough of an idea that there was precedence and they could be supportive of him with the doctor to track down what kind of medical stuff might be necessary in future - I think the larussos to a one have always been stubborn about things!

+ I'm headcanoning them as one of those far-reaching families where they're like "oh yeah, just like great great uncle louis who came over in a suit and tie at the turn of the century to settle in America, we always knew about him, this isn't any different" and so they just roll with it and nobody even really remembers after a couple of years

3. besides, most of his hand-me-downs were from male cousins, so he never even wore dresses in more than 2 or 3 family photos before lucille and his dad said they only needed boys' clothes from now on

4. his dad wasn't a conventional kinda guy either -- he was daniel's original model for how to be a man, and he was kind and a bit sensitive and never yelled. that being said he taught him how to punch him on the chin too (took this from a story billy told about his dad teaching him to punch)

5. he'd obviously accompany his cousins when they were fighting rival punks -- always had someone watching his back, because families do that, and it was one of those tacit acceptances of him occupying a masculine role, although, like his father, he wasn't the kind to seek out fights

6. obviously we know, he was also terrible at ever backing down, but that's partly because he's known that you can be judged for not being "man enough" at the drop of a hat. he's not insecure in his masculinity, but he also knows he has to defend what he's got a lot harder than the others

7. because there's a bit of an outsider's eye looking in, he's also always been able see some of the ridiculousness in masculine posturing -- it's not that conscious, but he's never felt the urge to perform. he's got the knowledge of being a boy. he doesn't need to "play-act"

8. but the thing is... right around the time he was feeling like everything was fine, like he was just a boy like any other boy... that's right around the time his dad got sick.

and in a lot of ways he can't draw a distinct line between his dad dying and growing into boyhood (he told daniel that he was gonna be the man of the house now, but it meant something different between them than the age-old outdated adage. it meant his dad was making sure to tell him that he was seeing him, but it was just as much a goodbye. being seen and saying goodbye meant the same thing now)

and after his dad died he wasn't just like any other boy anymore

9. they never had a lot of money - on some level he sort of thinks he knew, but his parents always made an effort to hide that from him, and besides, a community like theirs looked out for each other

but after his dad died it was like all the little things that you usually didn't notice became much more noticeable, including himself. people didn't avoid them really -- they were just... careful. kinda weird. adults would look at him funny and pat him on the cheek a lot and there would be long adult talks with his mom that always stilled when he entered a room -- in a lot of ways the things that hadn't been problems when he'd become a boy were problems now

10. puberty came and fucked everything up, just like it tends to do to people. but just like when his dad died, it was something that made him feel different... it was around this time his mom had some serious talks with him about how his body was changing and how he had to be more careful. some people might get the wrong idea

but he's a smart boy. she knows he can take care of himself. and when he's a bit older, she's got some numbers for doctors who can help out if that's what he wants, because hey, it's the 80s now -- brand new exciting times, don't worry kiddo, we've got this

obviously he's known things were different for him (he doesn't use the same changing rooms as other boys, even if he's on the boys' soccer team. he's still flat as a board though, so he runs around without a shirt in the summer)

11. all the other boys are talking about girls at this point and he's sort of joining in. he likes girls sure, they're real pretty. but he likes boys too and he can't really tell the difference, and he thinks the difference is what kinda stuff you say about girls and boys. crude things he kinda doesn't really wanna say... and is this something that's wrong about him as a boy? he figures he doesn't really care. if he gets to choose what kinda guy he is, then he's gonna be the kinda guy that doesn't say mean things about girls (the thing about the boys... he's not sure about that)

12. judy thinks he's a real nice guy. not like the other ones... softer, you know? like she can really talk to him (they kiss once, like teenagers who've never kissed someone before -- daniel is pretty sure he got it right? he's enthusiastic anyway)

13. and then, suddenly, not long after that, except it's not so sudden, because he's kinda known they've been struggling... he's heard more of the hushed conversations between his mom and relatives (them telling her that they'll sort it out and her telling them that she can't stop seeing him everywhere and besides she's got opportunities, not like up here, no she doesn't need them to get the heating bill) and it's been real cold in the winter these last two years, and she's been saying things like how a warmer climate might be good for them and then...

he's promising everyone he'll be back soon, because he will

there's nothing waiting for a boy like him in California...

[nojotoblog-blog]

Gentleman In You

Male Patriarchy against the men-

I started thinking about emotional vulnerability differences on the gender basis this afternoon after seeing a meme on my Facebook feed that listed the things that need to be normalized by society, among them being “emotional vulnerability against the gender bias”. I couldn’t agree more. As it stands, men, on the whole, have a deep and dangerous emotion expression problem. Why exactly?? Isn’t it the norms set up by the society itself that sets standards for the men about the Do’s and Don'ts, as per which a boy is raised from childhood. These are the exact notions fixed by the societal banters, who sardonically fail to fulfill the demands on a personal level. Typecasting a man according to these social standards and pushing down your child against them is the biggest harm you can cause to your toddlers. The expression and suppression of human emotion are closely tied to gender roles. We always see a man as an ironman - aren’t there any other shades of him. There are so many variables to his emotions. Try to understand this through this quote I found on a Shayari App called NOJOTO, where we can totally relate to a man’s feeling in against what society believes of him - “A broke man is not a man without a nickel, but a man without a dream.”  Aren’t the dreams a subject of concern for a person. Aren’t family, relationships, love a man’s concern? Not just the responsibilities towards these emotions, but the emotions itself!! When I was surfing through this Shayari App, I found there are so many unsaid unexpressed expressions from a man’s perspective, which get unnoticed even when said or expressed. There is another gradient to this - you scroll through a Shayari App or any other such platforms, you will be surprised to find out that there’s a vast number that is inclined to this.

Emotional Vulnerability -

The first time I saw my father cry was also the last. As if often the case with men of his generation it took the death of his mother to grant a license, however momentary, to weep openly. For the first time, my dad had become mortal as he abandoned his frayed mask of manhood. That afternoon, I realized it was secretly something I’d been hoping he’d do my entire life. Though I’ve always had a rather delicate relationship with the world. Vulnerability is courage, not weakness. For too long, poor conditioning has led to many men’s deepest selves to be muted, relationships to be confined, failures linked to self-worth, and a skewed perception of behavior that is acceptable, and more importantly, what is not.  

Societal expectations have “taught” men not to display any emotions. This becomes a huge problem in relationships because men suppress their feelings since they tend not to have socially acceptable emotional outlets. They do not want to seem “emasculated” for caring about someone or something on a deeper level. Due to the way young boys are socialized in education and in society, their ability to deal with emotions has been systematically undermined from a young age. Men are taught that certain aspects of their personality are not acceptable, they are taught not to cry or express in words, how they are feeling. In school, they’re shown there are certain games they should play, activities they should take part in, and rarely are they encouraged to engage in their feelings. A man's emotions are oftentimes confusing and sometimes contradictory. Do not fret if you cannot understand your man’s emotions, chances are he cannot either. People have the preconceived notion that men simply do not have feelings. This is far from the case. The problem is in the fact that women believe men should feel things the way they do. The truth is that men have a much harder time processing these feelings. Men are taught from an early age that they need to be strong, confident and stoic. They begin to equate emotions with weakness. These perceptions of masculinity can lead to a deep sense of shame permeating throughout the male culture. The perceived definition of what it means to be a man is not only outdated and ridiculous but harmful, not only for the men of today but those of the future, who see this as the only way of being. The idea that men are to remain strong, silent and capable is a total myth and belongs more in 1917 than in 2019.

Cracking the code to Men’s Emotions -

Society tells men that it is ‘weak’ to express feelings because we men are supposed to be strong and not allowed to have feelings. This is, of course, a toxic and wrong sense of masculinity and here it is where the paradox comes in. It is actually masculine to have the bravery and courage to let your guard down and be vulnerable because a true man, a real ‘alpha male’ doesn’t care what others think of him and he follows his own way no matter what. Not expressing your feelings out of fear of being judged and ridiculed by society as a consequence is what’s actually weak and pathetic because that means you allow others to judge you, to hold you back and define who you are when it should only be you who defines who you are. Modern men believe there are dozens of different ways to define the phrase “man up”. And none of them need to be used to demean men or make them feel as if they are falling short of some masculine ideal. Let’s call up for a mission to reclaim and redefine what the phrase “man up” means so that boys and young men coming of age now can be spared from its wrath.  There is a critical mass of men already helping to challenge the outdated model of masculinity. but it’s time for all of us to finally come together and embrace this urgent movement to redefine what it means to be a man. By doing so, we are not only advocating for our own well-being but also promoting a better, healthier, safer, happier world for all.

Men do cry. Men do feel deep emotions. However, men's emotions are triggered through different stimuli than that of women. Men simply don’t get much value out of emotional accessibility.