#I don��t know if it’s obvious by the end but Draxum ran off because he was for once doing something nice for Leo

[putterpen]

Rise of the TMNT Rant/Commentary 3

Pictured Above: The best character in this show, ironically and unironically.

A friend and I are watching Rise together. My opinions on the show are in a definite ‘meh’ zone. On the low end at that. My friend is not a fan of tmnt so he has no concrete expectations of ninja turtles outside of ideas he has picked up from the periphery. So lets see how we fare! 

Note: I’m going to assume anyone reading this has seen the episodes for context. If you haven’t you can find most of them on watchcartoonsonline. Also these little rants won’t be posted in the order we actually saw the episode. 

Episode: Donnie’s Gifts

Me: Poosh Play

Friend: They literally just introduced a problem, made it worse, and then ignored it.

Me:...Yeah. They really did. My god I was so zoned out i didn't notice.

Friend: What's the point of showing a fight that goes NOWHERE that just wasted 2 of their 11 minutes.

Me: Why even sell this as an action show when it isn't. Well its meant to tie into Donatello's gifts for his brothers. You'll see. This ep at least attempts better time management.

Friend: It was just weird seeing them create even more silverfish and then just go "oh well".

Me: Yeah that was bad. But I'm talking about these weird gifts don gave them.

...For one horrifying moment i thought those tentacles were coming from his crotch.

Friend: Lol.  He's almost ugly enough to be a Darkest Dungeon enemy.

Me: With that game's shading style he might fit. So basically Donny gave them items that is meant to "fix" them.

Friend: Ah ha. At least they tied in the silverfish... sorta.

Me: Yeah but it was still entirely their fault.

Friend: Yes and nobody seems to realize that.

Y O U ' V E   G O T   T O   P O U N D   I T

Me: lol That’s memeable. Honestly I kinda like Meatsweats.

Friend: I'm pretty sure only Leo's gift was actually useful.

Me: Was it really? Raph's gift can't even work because he's too stupid. And Mikey's gift literally impedes movement. Leo's gift could work if modified so that he could stick it onto the enemy and then start rattling off bad jokes.

So what did u think?

Friend: Meh. It's like watching people trip on things over and over again, events are happening but nobody knows why. Why can pig men multiply, well because of the silverfish, how did he get silverfish, well the turtles beat them up until they ran away, why did they do that? I dunno. There's a "Reason" for everything happening but none of it makes sense. Why did Donnie give them such asinine gifts? So they can use them to beat up pig man

Why is pig man a pig man? Because JOHN CENAAAAAAA!!!!

Me: Actually some old 70s rock star is voicing Mr. Meatsweats. He’s from the Sex Pistols.  But yeah this is all because of Baron Draxum. So yeah, two celebrity voice actors....Like ANYONE SHOULD CARE?!

Friend: Lol I certainly didn't.  No child alive watching this show cares if a celebrity is involved.

Me: I'd forgive the episode more if the silverfish were just slippery enough to actually escape the turtles, and they ran into pig dude while trying to fix the problem they'd caused.

Friend: Yeah. It's not really a story, just random events happening.

Me: You can't even do that in 11 minutes because they went from silverfish getting away- to immediately getting gifts- and you might have noticed the credits were rolling before the episode was even over. Like geeze...this is why SU is mostly slice of life episodes.

Friend: It just seems like it should be so simple. Just... don't do all this random shit so you can have "X happens because Y". And then just have eight X because Y mini-stories going on all at the same time. Just fucking do an 11 minute action scene. That's it, that's all you have to do, and save Donnie's stupid gifts for a slice of life episode. Or just cut that idea because it's stupid. It's so obvious they're just spit balling shit at the animators so they can pump out more episodes. Not even the slightest care for something as simple as that silverfish problem, it's a sad day knowing these people can't even handle an idea that is so basic it should seem like child's play to any writer with half a brain.

Me: Remember down with the sickness is a slice of life episode. DO YOU REALLY WANT MORE OF THAT??!!

Friend: Lol no. I'd really just prefer an entire season of action.  Not mindless action but good action, they have an okay style for it and animators willing to pull it off.  It should be SO. EASY.

Me: They waste our time with honestly not funny comedy.

Friend: No. I mean yes.

Me: Lol.

Friend: Leo is not funny, full stop.

Me: I don't know if that's what...they're going fooooor?

Friend: We're supposed to laugh at how he's... not... funny?

Me: Or do they really think he's funny?

Friend: You can't just have his entire character be the guy who tries to say funny things and fails that gets old after literally the first joke.

Me: I think we're supposed to laugh at how he's not funny since even Mikey and Raph were like "yea-no." When Leo was like "my one liners r great, rite?"

Friend: Yeah but like... he's done that in basically every episode. Or every one I remember. Eventually you need him to say something actually funny. It's lazy because they're trying to make a joke out of the fact that they can't think of a joke.

Me: Self depreciation is humor. But it doesn't work as often as one might thing.

Friend: It works in specific ways with specific characters for specific reasons.

It's why nobody laughed at Spike screwing up the anthem in that one episode.That's was pure cringe without context. “Ha ha look at how he's just screwing up something majorly important!”

Me: I laughed after the fact. but yeah I cringed hard when it first aired though I'm willing to argue that was supposed to be pure cringe.

Friend: There's no real set-up or delivery. At least in Rise. It just happens

Me: It's bad internet humor.

Friend: WOW LEO SAID A THING! MEMES EVERYWHERE!

Me: Omg Lol random! *dabz!*.

Friend: CAN'T EVEN.

Friend: And I can see why tumblr loves this show. It fits them to a tee. “Oooh look at the pretty colors HA HA HA LEO DID THE THING omg Mikey is so kawaiiiiiiiiiIEEEEEEEEEEEEEIEWOPTRJIOPSF!!!” *explodes*