#I don’t know why Simon thinks 4 to 6 rats is so funny but I love him forever for it

[oneunexpected]

I love Free Day because it means I can do Whatever I Want and I get to rb it to tucweek along with the incredible art pieces and insightful analysis other people have made and mine’s just, like, TUC as vines.

Anyway. Here’s the definitive power ranking of all minor characters* in the Underland Chronicles. It's quite long, because I tried to use every character.

Icarus -this DUUUUDE. This GUYYYYY. SUCKS! -“uh-oh looks like I’m infected with the plague better fly directly into a social gathering” -would be an anti-masker probably  0/10

Reekwell and Gushgore -Fangor and Shed part two, but unfunny this time. 1/10 y’all suck give me Fangor and Shed back

Purvox -Purvox is apparently a beautiful red spider who teaches Hazard how to “speak” Spinner. That’s cool. -that’s it. Why did Suzanne even feel the need to name her? I’m grateful for the extra details but 2/10

Ajax -mean. -nobody likes him -this is probably why he gets on so well with Solovet -some sort of flier general, it seems, which is pretty cool 2/10

Hero & Kent -twins, I guess that’s fun -they’re only like eight but they still Smirk Evilly. Good for them 2/10 just because there’s 2 of them

Anchel & Daphne -some randos Keeda mentions as dead. They probably had some sort of significance to be mentioned by name but We’ll Never Know. 2/10 RIP though. I’m sure you’re worth higher than this but I don’t even know who you are

Horatio -crony #1 -has a crush on Dulcet. Didn’t we all 3.5/10. Boosted solely by association with Dulcet

Marcus -crony #2 3/10

Wevox -thought her name was Weavox until I began writing this post -sort of “Was Margaret Thatcher a Girlboss?” vibes -“As it is, Vikus, we will not drink. Web them” is a RAW line and it bounces around my head sometimes -the spiders are clearly very crafty about their political relations but she was not going to hesitate for a MOMENT to consider the ramifications of killing the monarch of Regalia and we gotta respect that -docking points for the girlboss thing, though. 4/10

Stellovet -queen of insults you gotta be honest -had an INCREDIBLE amount of impact for only having like three lines. I remember being like 11 and reading so many fics on Fan Fiction Dot Net where she was a scheming villain -funny how Luxa thinks her endgame is just becoming a princess. She doesn’t care beyond that she just wants to be royalty 4/10

Chim -baby -ok she’s 5 -doesn’t do anything but look confused and help provide a gateway for Howard to look like a good person 5/10, for years of life. What’s even your name? Chimney?

Andromeda -she’s good. She is an Absolute Beast when she crosses the Waterway with Howard and Mareth, definitely saved Mareth’s life -loves Mareth very much :) -shuns Ares at first but comes around, we still gotta knock her for this though 5/10

Clawsin & Bloodlet & Ratriff -Some folks who go to Ripred’s side, Clawsin gets blinded from the Bane, Ratriff gets his arm ripped off by the Bane, it is what it is 5/10 collectively

Reflex -man’s got jokes -very helpful with the code -shoots streamers of silk around the room when they break it -came to Regalia secretly... secretly to whom? The spinners? The gnawers? Whatever, he’s a rebel either way -I had to look up his name though, so apparently not a lot of impact. Sorry Reflex 5/10

Treflex -announced he was joining the quest, then IMMEDIATELY died. Yes king give us nothing -made a good snack? Gross. 5/10

Cevian -the scene where they find her body is beautifully written and so heartbreaking. She’s the catalyst for the entire fourth book -gives Aurora the opportunity to make her first ever big impassioned speech. It’s what Aurora deserved -still, she doesn’t get any dialogue so I can’t vote her super high 5/10

Euripides -seems nice -always described as “Vikus’ big grey bat,” never just big bat, never just grey bat -tells Luxa to teach Gregor how to ride a bat because his neck is getting bruised lol -nice of him not to embarrass Gregor though 6/10 speak up for yourself, king

Pend -takes Boots back to Regalia after the moth brings her to the crawlers’ land -Vikus recognizes him by name which is really impressive since crawlers look pretty homogenous, although we are told Vikus is better than most at picking them out. Still, Pend is probably a high rolling crawler. 6/10

The scorpions -I know I’m supposed to be doing named characters but they’re pretty cool. The passage they’re in is a really fun read. Mad respect 6/10 I’ll see y’all in Scorpio szn, baby

Razor -showed SHAME and GUILT in the first book when he got called out by Ripred -raised Pearlpelt as if he was his own. In payment, Pearlpelt knocked him off a cliff and then tried to eat him to hide the evidence 6/10

Fangor and Shed -funny dudes. -apparently constantly drunk 6/10

Gox -Gox got shit DONE, okay? Gox got shit DONE. -would eat your carcass without a moment of hesitation. It’s fine. 6/10

Hermes -this guy is great! -brings Luxa her crown -gets seriously injured while protecting Lizzie on their way to Regalia -might be dead tbh no one ever says 7/10

Keeda -okay listen. Keeda’s great. Keeda is that warrior at the Battle of Marathon who ran all the way back to Athens to report their victory and immediately die, except Keeda was reporting that the gnawers were about to invade -listen I know she was dealing with some other stuff, but Vikus asks, “how many rats?” And she says “many. Many rats” ??? No estimate? “An army?” Whatever. We give her a pass. 7/10 RIP

Pandora -FUCK -her death was possibly the MOST disturbing passage I’ve ever read. I could see it so, so vividly in my head. Man I remember the horror -she just wanted to explore 7/10 but also 2/10 for emotional trauma

Queen Athena -ICONIC one-liner in Curse of the Warmbloods, absolutely demolishes the gnawers over their treatment of the nibblers -I’m really biased towards her because Athena is my favorite goddess -probably could’ve done more for Ares, especially as seeing she’s supposed to be perceptive and a really good judge of character and whatnot 7/10

Daedalus -flinches in fear when Boots says she’s gonna sing a for him, specifically -basically pledges his life to Lizzie in the event the Code Room is attacked so that’s very nice 7/10

Heronian -she’s in a full body cast, but that will not stop her. 8/10

Susannah -can we talk about how she lost both of her siblings and she just keeps trucking along? -REALLY wish we knew more about her -clearly Very Kind. Can you please ask your daughter to be nicer -takes really good care of everyone she comes across :) 8/10

Min -creaky old cockroach dance 9/10

Frill -was cool -taught everyone the marks of secret -taught Hamnet about pacifism and stuff too -I get the feeling she was wayyyyy more important to Hazard and Hamnet and their survival than Gregor’s narrative really dives into 9/10

Mr. Cormaci -nice man. Gave Gregor quarters. 10/10

Gregor’s grandma -cool lady, you can’t deny! -tells Gregor he can’t outrun his issues -has a super cool quilt -who IS Simon??? 10/10

Scalene, Euclidian, Root, Cube, and Newton -felt obligated to include all these kiddos because they are, in fact, named, even though none of them get any dialogue or anything else for that matter, really -Scalene was a little nibbler pup that found her mom in the Arena, Euclidian and Root are two more that the mom was looking for, Newton was one that no one claimed but some other guy was like “any of us will take him” which is :’) but also, so, so sad. -Cube was the pup Luxa named that ended up in the pit in the Firelands -Scalene and Newton survived a genocide and Euclidian which is baller any way you swing it 10/10

Tick -:( :( :( -the selflessness. -I shipped her with Temp when I was 8? I can’t answer for that 10/10

York -LMAOOOO this guy’s a LEGEND -7 ft tall. -fights with a zweihander. -says fuck, canonically. -hosts hundreds of nibbler refugees -very loving uncle to Luxa, helps her learn how to rule - his exasperated affection towards Howard when he finds out Howard stayed in the Firelands even after he got sick was very cute 10/10

Honorable mentions: Perdita and Dulcet Their roles are too big in the last book to be included in this list, but these ladies both get a 10/10.

[ishiireviewer]

RATING: 4/5

REVIEW:

I’m so glad I gave this a chance. I had DNF’d it a few months ago because I found it to be boring But this time around, I found it really interesting. And after quitting The Infernal Devices, reading this book was such a relief because I had almost written off the author. But City Of Bones was really cool and interesting.

I loved how intricate the shadowhunter world was. The characters were pretty amazing and unique. And basically, the book kept me hooked. It was a page-turner.

Can’t wait to get on with the sequel.

ANNOTATIONS:-

1. “Meanwhile,” Simon added, “I wanted to tell you that lately I’ve been cross-dressing. Also, I’m sleeping with your mom. I thought you should know

2. Clary stared at him, then looked behind her, where Jace, Isabelle, and Alec stood, Jace still in his bloody shirt with the knife in his hand. He grinned at her and dropped a half-apologetic, half-mocking shrug. Clearly he wasn’t surprised that neither Simon nor the bouncer could see them.

3. Jesus!” Luke exclaimed. “Actually, it’s just me,” said Simon. “Although I’ve been told the resemblance is startling.” He waved at Clary from the doorway. “You ready? (haha. Goofy)

4. Did he?” asked Clary. “Tell me, is he always really rude, or does he save that for mundanes?” “Oh, he’s rude to everyone,” said Isabelle airily. “It’s what makes him so damn sexy. That, and he’s killed more demons than anyone else his age.” (Overselling the main lead. -.-)

5. I’m not your father, Clary. I’ve told you that before.” Tears burned the backs of her eyes. “I’m sorry. It’s just—” “Don’t call me for favors again,” he said. “I’ve got my own problems; I don’t need to be bothered with yours,” he added, and hung up the phone (Aww. I feel bad for her)

6. I don’t want tea,” said Clary, with muffled force. “I want to find my mother. And then I want to find out who took her in the first place, and I want to kill them.” “Unfortunately,” said Hodge, “we’re all out of bitter revenge at the moment, so it’s either tea or nothing.

7. She’d never before known anyone who carried a handkerchief (Jesse de silva)

8. (Idk why I found this boring. It’s interesting. And I’m really enjoying reading it. It’s almost unputdownable)

9. There must have been something in her voice, because he turned to look at her. Her hand cracked across his face, a slap that rocked him back on his heels. He put his hand to his cheek, more in surprise than pain. “What the hell was that for?” “The other ten percent,” she said, and they rode the rest of the way down to the street in silence (Hahaha. Badass)

10. Haven’t you ever heard that modesty is an attractive trait?” “Only from ugly people,” Jace confided. “The meek may inherit the earth, but at the moment it belongs to the conceited. Like me.” He winked at the girls, who giggled and hid behind their hair.

11. Madame Dorothea shot him a dark look. “If you were half as funny as you thought you were, my boy, you’d be twice as funny as you are.” She disappeared back through the curtain, her loud “Hmph!” nearly drowned out by rattling beads. Jace frowned. “I’m not quite sure what she meant by that.” “Really,” said Clary. “It made perfect sense to me.” She marched through the bead curtain before he could reply

12. For the devil has no power,” said Dorothea softly, as if she were reciting an old rhyme, “except in the dark

13. Not necessarily. The most terrible things men do, they do in the name of love,” said Madame Dorothea, her eyes gleaming. “But it is a powerful card

14. Anything’ is such a general word, so unspecific,” said Pangborn, sounding melancholy. “Surely someone who owns so many books must know something

15. The moon hung like a locket over the city, casting pearly reflections on the water of the East River

16. Sometimes, when Jocelyn was really angry about something or was in one of her upset moods, she would get what Clary called “scary-calm.” It was a calm that made Clary think of the deceptive hard sheen of ice just before it cracked under your weight. Jace was scary-calm.

17. That’s sort of hot,” Isabelle argued, “that evil thing.” Simon tried to look menacing, but gave it up when he saw Clary staring at him. “So why does Valentine want this Cup so bad, and why does he think Clary’s mom has it?” he asked.

18. Silence itself seemed to flow from him like a dark tide, black and thick as ink

19. Sarcasm is the last refuge of the imaginatively bankrupt,” she told him

20. Something about Jace sharpened him, brought him into focus. If she were going to draw them together, she thought, she would make Jace a little blurry, while Alec stood out, all sharp, clear planes and angles

21. She looked up from closing it to find Jace watching her through hooded eyes. “And one last thing,” he said. He reached over and pulled the sparkling pins out of her hair, so that it fell in warm and heavy curls down her neck. The sensation of hair tickling her bare skin was unfamiliar and oddly pleasant. “Much better,” he said, and she thought this time that maybe his voice was slightly uneven too. (Hot and sweet)

22. Last time I left you alone, a demon attacked you,” he pointed out. “Well, I’d certainly hate to interrupt your pleasant night stroll with my sudden death.

23. .” Magnus exhaled irritably. “As Oscar Wilde once said, ‘To lose one parent may be regarded as a misfortune. To lose both seems like carelessness.’” Clary heard Jace make a small hissing sound, like air being sucked

24. Who cares about the stupid Law?” Clary screamed, grabbing hold of Isabelle’s wrist. “My best friend is a rat!”

25. Don’t bother,” Jace said. “Why mundanes always insist on taking responsibility for things that aren’t their fault is a mystery to me. You didn’t force that cocktail down his idiotic throat.”

26. What welcome?” Magnus asked. “I’d say it was a pleasure to meet you, but it wasn’t. Not that you aren’t all fairly charming, and as for you—” He dropped a glittery wink at Alec, who looked astounded. “Call me?”

27. that I hadn’t stopped believing in God. I’d just stopped believing God cared. There might be a God, Clary, and there might not, but I don’t think it matters. Either way, we’re on our own

28. Clary wondered if there were any ugly vampires, or maybe any fat ones. Maybe they didn’t make vampires out of ugly people. Or maybe ugly people just didn’t want to live forever

29. You’ve endangered other people with your willfulness. This is one incident I will not allow you to shrug off!” “I wasn’t planning to,” Jace said. “I can’t shrug anything off. My shoulder’s dislocated

30. Of course,” he said, without arrogance or pretension, “but I always thought that was the way things were, with us. You know.” She scrambled around to face him, puzzled. “What do you mean?” “I mean,” said Simon, as if he were surprised to find himself explaining something that should have been obvious, “I’ve always been the one who needed you more than you needed me.” “That’s not true.” Clary was appalled. “It is,” Simon said with the same unnerving calm. “You’ve never seemed to really need anyone, Clary. You’ve always been so … contained. All you’ve ever needed is your pencils and your imaginary worlds. So many times I’ve had to say things six, seven times before you’d even respond, you were so far away. And then you’d turn to me and smile that funny smile, and I’d know you’d forgotten all about me and just remembered—but I was never mad at you. Half of your attention is better than all of anyone else’s. (How sweet of him!!)

31. Here’ as in your bedroom or ‘here’ as in the great spiritual question of our purpose here on this planet? If you’re asking whether it’s all just a cosmic coincidence or there’s a greater metaethical purpose to life, well, that’s a puzzler for the ages. I mean, simple ontological reductionism is clearly a fallacious argument, but—”

32. “Just kissing?” Jace’s tone mocked her with its false hurt. “How swiftly you dismiss our love.”

33. Where there is feeling that is not requited,” said Hodge, “there is an imbalance of power. It is an imbalance that is easy to exploit, but it is not a wise course. Where there is love, there is often also hate. They can exist side by side

34. Hugin,” Luke said softly. “Hugin and Munin were Valentine’s pet birds. Their names mean ‘Thought’ and ‘Memory.’” “Well, they should mean ‘Attack’ and ‘Kill,’” said Clary. “Hugo almost tore my eyes out.

35. At last Jace looked at her. She saw the disbelief plain in his eyes, and around his eyes, the strain of maintaining that disbelief. She could see, almost as if she saw through a glamour, the fragile construct of his faith in his father that he wore like a transparent armor, protecting him from the truth. Somewhere, she thought, there was a chink in that armor; somewhere, if she could find the right words, it could be breached. “That’s ridiculous,” he said. “I didn’t die—there weren’t any bones.

[secretbookclub]

Books I read in 2016

I wanted to make this list sooner but had no time because of finals. It’s all the books I added to Goodreads this year. I actually read a ton of comic and added like %0.5 of them haha. Also I didn’t add books I skip-read. Here we go.

1. Goblin Emperor

It was the first book I read in 2016. I read it in my shitty phone and on a laptop. I really really love this book. I reread it a lot and it became a kind of comfort book for me. I really love Maia and sometimes get teared eye when I think about him.

2. Seraphina

Kinda meh. I think author could make a better book. It was very average.

3-4-5. Captive Prince Series

I gave the first book 3 stars, to second book 4 stars and to the last book 5 stars. I love this series. I had doubts about it when I was reading the first book but as Laurent and Damen begin to be in more equal footing I fell in love with it. The last book is absolute perfection, I loved everything about it. I think it’s the best end of series book I ever read.

6. Beautiful Darkness

Writing is meh but art was stellar. I love love Kerascoet’s art.

7. Ms Marvel Volume 1

I usually don’t like superhero comics but this was an exception.

8-9-10. Graceling, Fire, Butterblue

I can’t decide which one them is my favorite: Graceling or Butterblue? I love them because of different reasons. I didn’t care much about Fire. Graceling is a happy book. I love Katsa and Po, and their relationship was a pleasant suprise. Them may be my favorite fantasy YA couple. Butterblue is a sad book. It made me cry several times. It’s about abuse, ptsd and recovery. I love this subject but if you don’t like I think you might not like this book.

11. The Raven Boys

Oh god I’m a terrible reader and I’m still in second book of this series(for 8 months.....) I liked it. And I will continue it. Writing style was interesting.

12. Smile

Cute comic. But the target audience was middle graders so.

13. Anya’s Ghost

Another cute comic. It was average?

14-15-16-17. Lumberjanes first 4 Volumes

My favorite was second one. I liked Artemis and Apollo. It’s a cute kid’s comic but I can’t say the writings is the best. But I appreciate the queer characters etc. I don’t know why but a lot of mainstream american comics has weird pacing/writing. Maybe because I mainly read manga? idk

18. Lola and The Next Door Boy

NO. BAD. WHY IS THIS SUPER POPULAR ON TURKISH BOOKTUBE COMMUNITY

19. Ella Enchanted

I wasn’t target audience so I didn’t enjoy it as much as I would do if i was in middle school:(

20. Amulet

I got bored.

21. Hellboy Volume 1

Art style is cool. But writing and pacing is giving me a headache. Like I said I can’t read american comics.

22. Rat Queens

I don’t like it.

23-24. Giany Days 1-2

Cute comic. But I hate when comics change their artists. Why?

25. This One Summer

This is amazing. Plot is not the greatest but pacing is so so soooo good. I want to buy the psychical version and cuddle it haha.

26. Maurice

The movie is one of my faves and I finally found the book. Book is amazing to. I love Maurice’s character evolution. I recommend this book to everybody. So good.

27. The Color Purple

Really really good. For some strange reason it was hard to find this book.

28. Öteki Erkekler

It consist interviews made with 6 trans men in turkey. Also some basic info about gender identity, legal, medical info etc. Only in turkish. 

29. Habibi

Bad. There was rape in nearly every page. Also very orientalist. No.

30. Understanding Comics

Well it’s like the title says haha. If it interests you read it.

31. Jughead Volume 1

It makes me so happy there’s one more canonicaly ace character. Also a protagonist. :,)

32. An Unattractive Vampire

It was funny. Also (not canonicaly) aro-are protag.

33. Twin Spica

Nice nice.

34-35-36. All for the Game Series

THIS SERIES. The writing is dramatic. A lot. But I really love how the author wrote characters. Andrew is one of my fave characters. I feel connected to him somehow. I’m so happy him and Neil finally got their happiness. I reread this series a lot too. Words can’t tell how much I love them.

37. Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secret of Universe

Mega cute. The whole novel felt like a poetry. It makes me happy and warm.

38. Simon and The Homo Sapiens Agenda

Cute but average.

39. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child

Albus and Scorpius was so cute. Also Draco and Scorpius’ relationship. But otherwise it wasn’t that worthwhile to read. 

40. Bizim Büyük Çaresizliğimiz

Turkish book. Everyone seems to worship this book but I didn’t like it that much.

41. American Vampire

Art style was good(not the 20s one)

42. Dragons of Dorcastle

It was cute. (but the sequal was BAD.)

43. The Three Robbers

I like vintage art style.

44-45-46. Gotham Academy 1-2-3

Why did the writing got worse and worse? I really loved the first volume. Writing and pacing was weird and got weirder.

47. White Sand

I read it because -Brandon Sanderson. I think his writing doesn’t get translate to comics smoothly. 

48. Gwenpool

Cute and cool. Also art style <3

49. Hidden Masters of Marandur

Sequal of Dragons of Dorcastle. Bad. Why did they have to say they love each other could die for each other EVERY PAGE.

50. Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell

AA++ I love this book. The fairies was very classical(which I prefer). Footnotes were a delight. Really fun book overall.

51. Ladies of Grace Adiue 

Stories set in Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell world. Very good.

52. Comics and Sequential Art

Again very specific book. It focused in pre 80s american comics, wasn’t very useful for me.

53-54. Luck in the Shadows - Stalking Darkness

I don’t know why I can’t read this books. Reading first to books fully was a drag. I skip read rest of the books in the series. I love some parts of it but I can’t read them. :(

55. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them

Read because of the movie. I found it a little bit too eurocentric.

56. The Gardener’s Year

I LOVE THIS. I don’t thing I ever laughed as much as reading a book. Even tho I had no interest in gardening I loved this book. Some parts reminded me my mom and dad so it was extra funny. 

57. Haydut Oğlu Haydut

I don’t know the english title. It’s a Karel Capek story.

58. R.U.R

It was really interesting.

59. Tournament of Losers

Cute cute. Also positive portrayal of sex worker character. No slut shaming or whatever.

60. The High King’s Golden Tongue

Ehh. Tournament of Losers was better. I liked there was trans characters. Also no queerphobia. Also tongue concept. But I think it was very unfinished. Also read the sequal but it was worse.