#I do agree they don't do a great job at convincingly showing him as this amazing coach

[lunar-years]

Re: that ask about Jamie being a team player under Pep and your answer - it's actually not that new, referencing Pep, which is the weird part. The team notes from season 1, the stuff the writers gave Arlo White to make his "cheat sheets" for the season 1 finale match where Jamie makes that extra pass? They list Pep as the manager, and Ted and Jamie both mention him in their interviews in the episode as well. So when giving Jamie that extra pass moment, they did it with full concurrent awareness, in writing the season 1 finale, that Pep was Jamie's manager. Creating a fictional manager was never going to happen- Sudeikis is a big Pep fan, and obviously the show's production had to have struck up a good deal with Man City to feature them so much before they had rights to other teams, so they tend to show the team in a positive light even if they're Richmond's adversary. Anyway my point is, Pep as Jamie's coach isn't retrofitted or retroactive, rather, they knew Pep was Jamie's coach even when they had Jamie make that extra pass. So it IS a weird hole they've dug, because they're never going to claim Ted is a better coach than Pep (not only tactic wise but personally/how he treats players, he is beloved) but the implications of that about Jamie's career are very weird in that regard! But they've known it all along, and I can't imagine they don't consider the impact of it on Jamie given the way Sudeikis has talked about Pep before and also given how much backstory they've been said to have imagined, like how much Sudeikis apparently thinks about what informs all these characters. Theyve painted themselves into a corner where the text of the show confirms that Pep informs Jamie massively. Which I personally enjoy, but does detract from Ted's alleged influence on Jamie which I frankly have never massively cared about anyway. I much prefer Pep 😂. I do think they absolutely know Jamie was a small fish in a big pond at City and things changed for him at Richmond - he was top dog for the first time ever there, is what I think they were going for. But maybe we will learn more when they play City away.

Okay I know this was so not the point of your ask so sorry for the pivot lol but how on earth did the show convince the irl West Ham to agree to having their club portrayed on the show as the evil Rupert Mannion run Star Wars Death Star club ??? how do the West Ham fans feel about this? lmao.

To address your actual ask I just feel like they included Pep without thinking it through, because the narratives of what they're trying to do with Ted and what can be reasonably inferred about Jamie's backstory with Man City just are not adding up for me, lol. Definitely agree they're not going for "Ted is better than actual irl coaches," but they're certainly trying to portray that Ted was the exact right person for this particular group of guys at the particular time he landed in their lives. I do think they want us to believe there's something special about Ted that cultivated the team's success in a way other coaches couldn't have done in those particular circumstances of what Richmond was at that time. (And yeah it doesn't necessarily make much sense, but I just suspend my belief on that bit, because what about a goofy Kansas man with no prior knowledge of football and seemingly little desire to dig into it further leading a professional football team to victory does? )

wait edited to add: I also think you're 100% right about Jamie being a small fish in a big pond at City and things changing for him at Richmond in that it was the first time he was really in the position of being the best. Definitely!!! And that is such a good point. There were really excellent tags on a reblog of that last ask that were basically paralleling Jamie to Nate in that it's how you treat people who are powerless when you're in a position above them (whether that be actual authority or, like Jamie, just being the best player on the team) that is most telling.

[sihtricfedaraaahvicius]

Chapter 10

Note: Bass Player chapter 10! Chapter 9 here! I wasn't planning on uploading this today, but it turned out I just needed to take my meds lmao I'm fine again. This chapter is actually really damn long so I split it up in two parts. here's the smutty part for you gremlinssons.

Warnings: fluff/smut 18+!!

pairing: Modern!Sihtric x you (f)

summary: Your famous boyfriend wanted you to quit your job.

wordcount: 4k

Masterlist

'What kind of video?'

It's been a few days since you picked up Sihtric from the airport and, as much as Sihtric's punishment was a struggle for you too, you had refrained from any sexual activity that first day. Sihtric had begged you for hours on end that night, looking painfully pretty while doing so, but you kept your foot down and eventually just cuddled up in bed, where he told you about his trip abroad and the impulsive decision to get his nipples pierced.

Despite your life with Sihtric always feeling like a dream, the reality was that you had to go to work again. You didn't have to tell Sihtric how much you dreaded going there, as it was simply horrible, and more than once Sihtric had told you to quit your job. But it just wasn't that easy. 

'Just quit, love,' Sihtric said while he had his coffee in the morning. He leaned back against the kitchen counter, shirtless and his hair tied into a bun while wearing his comfy sweatpants, 'It's clearly dragging you down. I'm over it.'

You stared at him from across the kitchen. 'I know,' you said softly, 'it's just not that easy.'

'Baby, you can't keep going there,' he suddenly raised his voice slightly, 'I don't want you to go there!'

You were taken aback at the sudden small outburst of your usually calm and collected boyfriend.

'I… I just don't want you to go there anymore,' Sihtric said, calmly again, as he walked over to you, 'your job is draining you, love. And it breaks my fucking heart to see you come home to me after work each time, completely empty.'

'But I have bills, Siht…'

'You do,' he agreed, 'but there are other ways to earn money than keeping that shitty job, and you know it, babe. You know I can help you. You know you can quit and come travel with me.'

'Sihtric,' you sighed and shook your head lightly, 'I… I can't just do that.'

'But why not?' he asked, 'don't you want to be with me? Travel with me?'

'You know I do,' you said, 'it's just not that simple. Do you have any idea how scary it is to become completely dependent on someone else and relying on them to take care of you?'

'But I will take care of you-'

'I know you will,' you hushed him, 'I don't doubt that. But that doesn't mean it's not scary. I won't have any money of my own when my savings run out, and they will run out fast,' you stressed, 'I won't have a job while I still have bills to pay. My apartment, my insurance, a phone bill… I know you said you'd gladly pay for all that, but I don't want that, it's not that easy-'

'Then come work for me.'

You stared up at Sihtric, confused.

'Work for you? What do you mean?'

'I don't know, like… keep check of my finances or something like that?'

'Doesn't your manager do that? Ragnar?'

'He just takes care of what we earn,' Sihtric shrugged, 'not what we spend.'

'Sihtric, I don't know-'

'Oh!' he suddenly lit up, 'why don't you become part of our merch team?'

'Your merch team?'

'Yeah, like selling our stuff on tour at the shows.'

'Eh,' you chuckled, not actually hating the idea, 'I mean… are you guys even hiring?'

'Well, I know that any help is welcome as the shows keep getting bigger.'

'I… oh, I don't know,' you sighed, 'sure, it sounds great, and like a dream… but you need to discuss this with the guys first. And I need some reassurance too, like what if we break up?'

'Baby, we won't,' Sihtric chuckled and cupped your cheeks.

'Well, then what if the band breaks up?'

'We won't,' he said convincingly, 'just trust me. We'll figure this out, okay? I'll talk to the guys and to Ragnar and I'll fix something up, I promise. I'll get it on paper. We can set up a contract together, we'll work it out.'

'I don't know…'

'Lady, I'm tired of seeing you go to work when you clearly don't want to go there,' he said, 'and I'm tired of seeing you come home looking more drained with each passing day… you hate it there, we both know it. Let me help you get away from that.'

You thought about it for a moment and then looked at the time.

'Fuck,' you gasped and ran to get dressed, 'I really have to leave for work. We'll talk about this later, okay?'

'Just quit,' Sihtric said as you ran towards him, and you nearly tripped while putting on your shoes. 

'I'll think about it, I promise,' you told Sihtric before you kissed his cheek, and left for another day of work.

When you came home to Sihtric's place after another shitty day of work, you felt slightly better at the fact that Sihtric had prepared dinner. You ranted about work while Sihtric listened as he ate, ignoring the news you both received earlier for now, and you took a quick shower while Sihtric loaded the dishwasher.

After the shower you grabbed your bag with nail polish, and a gift bag you bought earlier that day, and then joined Sihtric in his huge living room. You sat down on his ridiculously large couch while he was packing his suitcase. 

He had only been back home for a few days, and neither of you had expected him to leave again the next day, but right after you had left for work that morning, Sihtric got a call from Ragnar. Seven Kings was invited to play on a famous late night show in America. It was rather last minute, which meant the guys had to take a plane the next morning and, as the band was simply your boyfriend's job, you understood this was a big deal which they didn't turn down. The news had initially made you even more upset at work, but you were supportive about it once you came to terms with it. And to cheer Sihtric up a little too, who had nearly cried when he called you during your lunch break, you told him you had something for him. Sihtric eagerly waited for you to hand him the gift bag and, when he pulled out the Hello Kitty plushie you bought him, he gasped and then smiled. Sihtric chuckled as he held the adorable plushie in his hands, then pressed it against his face.

'It smells like you,' he smiled and pulled you in for a hug.

'I sprayed it with some of my perfume, yes,' you laughed, 'I know it's cheesy.'

'Well, I love it,' he said and sniffed the plushie again, 'I'll take her with me anywhere I go. Thank you, love.'

Sihtric pecked your lips several times and, after he had finally packed his last bag with guitar gear, he watched you lovingly as you carefully painted your nails while you sat next to him. Sihtric loved observing you when you were doing something that demanded your full attention. His mismatched eyes would scan every inch of your face and take in every expression, remembering every detail with ease once he'd closed his eyes.

'Can I paint your nails?' you asked with a grin after your own nails had dried.

'You want to paint my nails?' Sihtric chuckled.

You nodded with a smile and hopeful eyes.

'Yeah, sure,' he shrugged and turned to fully face you.

Sihtric placed his big, warm hands in your lap and you asked him what colour he wanted.

'Pink,' he smiled, 'and black. To match that Hello Kitty choker you gave me.'

'Two colours?' you frowned, 'okay, baby boy,' you taunted.

Sihtric inhaled sharply and stared at you with a raised eyebrow.

'Sorry,' you grinned, 'my baby boy.'

'That's better,' he laughed and shook his head before he leaned in to peck your lips, 'I love you,' he whispered.

'I love you too,' you smiled.

'I love you more.'

'If that's what you want to believe, sweetheart,' you chuckled and took his hand in yours.

Sihtric still made you nervous, and it showed. You tried your best to control your slightly trembling hands while you painted his nails. It didn't help that Sihtric kept staring at you the entire time, and he'd softly hum out of nowhere sometimes while a smile tugged at his lips.

'So have you thought about it?' Sihtric asked after a long moment of silence, 'about quitting your job?'

'I have thought about it,' you said while you continued to paint his nails.

Sihtric stared at you as he waited for an answer, but you didn't continue.

'And…?' he asked, impatiently.

'I just don't know, Sihtric,' you sighed and looked up at him, 'yes, I want to quit my job and, yes, it all sounds amazing to work for you, or with you, whatever we'd call it. And it sounds great to travel with you but… it just scares me.'

'I know,' Sihtric said sweetly and leaned in, 'I know it's scary, love. I understand. I spoke about it with the guys today and they're all fine with it, as long as we keep work and private separated when we're around them, you know?'

'Naturally,' you said and brought your attention back to his nails.

'Ragnar has already made a rough draft of a contract, I'll email it to you so you can go over it when you want to. You can suggest changes too and all that,' Sihtric said, 'I promise you're going to be fine. You will get a good pay. I made sure you will have your own income which will cover everything you need to be completely independent. But know that I'm always here too, if you ever need something.'

You quietly finished painting his nails, one hand only black and the other only pink. You softly blew his nails to speed up the drying process and closed the bottles. Sihtric watched you closely and in silence while you put everything back in your bag, and then you exhaled sharply and sat back.

'Should I do it?' you eventually asked and looked up at Sihtric, 'quit my job?'

'You know my answer, love. You know what I want. I want you with me, wherever I go. I need you with me,' he said, 'but in the end it's up to you. Only you can decide if you want this. And regardless of your choice, I still want to be with you. It would just be easier for us if you'd work for the band. And…'

'And what?' you asked when he didn't finish his sentence.

'And… I… it's just… this whole keeping you a secret thing is starting to stress me out. It's making me insecure,' he confessed.

'You know you don't have to keep me a secret,' you said, 'I thought we were on the same page about this. I just needed some time to adjust to this, that's all. My life is so different from yours, sweetheart. And it's just a bit scary. You're away from home a lot, while I never travel at all. You're famous, I'm just… a regular person,' you chuckled, 'I want everyone to know you're mine too, and I thought we already made progress at the airport.'

'I know,' Sihtric said, 'we did. And I don't blame you for being scared of this either. But… remember what we talked about when I was abroad?'

'Yeah,' you said, remembering you agreed to start posting more of each other on your socials once he'd get back home, it just hadn't happened yet, 'I'm still fine with that.'

'So you're okay if I'd post a photo or video of us together, or just of you?'

'Yeah,' you smiled shyly, 'of course.'

'Okay,' he smiled, 'then I will soon. But, as for tonight,' he cleared his throat as he looked at his painted nails, 'so… since you can't travel with me tomorrow, which fucking sucks, I kinda hoped that maybe, you know, you'd… you,' he hesitated, 'would you want to, you know, make a v-video?'

'A video?' you frowned.

'Yeah.'

'What kind of video?'

'You know,' Sihtric chuckled awkwardly, 'one I could, you know… look at when I… you know.'

You gave him a confused look, but then it suddenly dawned on you.

'You mean a sex tape?' you blurted out.

'Well- I, I…' he stammered, 'I- I guess s-something like that.'

'Oh,' you chuckled and felt your cheeks heat up, 'eh… I… I've never done that before.'

'Neither have I,' Sihtric blushed, 'but it… I'd… I'd like it,' he said, shyly, 'I mean pictures are nice but… it's not the same.''

'That's true,' you agreed, 'but… h-how would we do this?'

'I don't know,' he shrugged, 'I was thinking I could just film with my phone?'

You slowly nodded your head as you thought about it. You had to admit you wouldn't mind having a video like that for yourself, as being away from each other was truly not that easy. And now that another sudden departure had taken you both by surprise, meaning he'd be gone for almost a whole week again, you both already knew you'd be intimate that same night. So you'd put the opportunity to use.

The next morning you woke up to several texts and instagram notifications, which seemed to have become normal when Sihtric left early in the morning to travel. However, you did not expect Gisela's message.

Gisela: you did NOT make a sex video!?

Your eyes grew wide and cheeks heated up when you read your best friend's text, and you quickly opened Sihtric's text. You smiled at the photo he texted of the Hello Kitty plushie on the plane, which you had given him the evening before.

Sihtric: she's keeping me safe ;) love you sweetheart. Talk soon xxxxx

Sihtric: oh here's the video. I won't tell you how many times I've watched it already :)

Sihtric's text with the video was private, so you weren't sure what Gisela was on about, until you opened instagram. You first saw your boyfriend's story, which was a classic airport selfie before boarding a plane. And he looked insanely handsome as per usual. He was wearing a black beanie and black shades, to hide his tired eyes from being up almost all night with you. He smiled cheekily at the camera, and peeking out from underneath his black hoodie was again a hickey you had given him the night before. You giggled at the photo and took a screenshot of it, then you clicked on his page and saw why Gisela had texted you. You stared with your jaw dropped at the video Sihtric had posted on his feed about an hour ago, which had almost one million likes by the time you saw it.

The video showed Sihtric sitting on the floor, shirtless and with his hair braided, leaning back against his bed in front of his bedroom mirror. Then you appeared, but only your legs and buttocks were visible, while wearing a thong as you towered over him. You collared and leashed him, then took his chin to make him look up at you, and Sihtric smiled as he bit down on his lip while gazing up into your eyes.

'Are you a good boy?' your silky voice was heard off screen.

'Yes, my lady,' your submissive pet smiled.

You tugged his leash, to which Sihtric let out a soft moan as he perked up, and then the video cut off and started over from the beginning.

You felt yourself sweating and your heart was beating out of your chest. You couldn't believe Sihtric had shared that. You weren't mad, he had been careful to not show anything that would give away it's you in the video, unless people knew what your ass looked like and of course there was your voice, but you had spoken so softly you weren't worried about that. Obviously Gisela knew it was you, because you were dating the bass player, otherwise it could've been anyone to her.

You scrolled down to the comment section and saw everyone was losing their mind. Thousands of heart eye and sweaty face emojis were commented, as well as various comments like:

'yes daddy!!!!' 

'step on me'

'full video when?!'

And the classic:

'who is the girl????????' 

That last comment was the only comment Sihtric had replied to before his plane took off, and his reply simply said: 'my girl.'

Your head was spinning and you giggled, but then you realised you hadn't even seen the video Sihtric had sent you which was recorded last night. You swiped back to your texts and opened the video. Sihtric had posted the very first minute of the video and what happened after was surely not suitable to post anywhere, ever. You watched the footage with flushed cheeks as you bit down on your lip, while you felt yourself getting aroused all over again.

You pulled Sihtric on the bed by his leash after he had put his phone on his night stand, capturing you both fully. You then pushed Sihtric to lay down on the bed and climbed on top of him. His big hands slowly caressed your thighs as you grinded against his hard arousal.

'Use me,' Sihtric murmured with a smile as you teased him.

You watched how you tugged his leash, pulling him up towards you to kiss, bite and suck his lips, all to which Sihtric moaned and whined softly.

Then you chuckled and pushed him back down, pinning his arms above his head for a moment and dragged your tongue up over his Adam's apple.

'Just fucking use me,' he murmured again, 'please.'

'Tell me what you want,' you smiled and kissed down his neck, to his broad shoulders.

Sihtric struggled to answer, so you asked him again as you continued to kiss your way down his muscular body. Your boyfriend couldn't think straight anymore, and again an answer never came from his lips. So you moved back up to him, yanked his leash and grabbed his chin as he sat slightly up.

'Speak, baby,' you husked, 'use your words for me, my kitten, tell me what you want.'

Sihtric's breathing intensified and he squeezed your thighs as you sat on top of him, grinding down on him once more while he struggled to control himself.

'Y-you,' he breathed, 'I want you t-to suck me.'

'Good boy,' you chuckled and flicked your tongue against his lips. 

You slowly kissed your way down again, leaving open-mouthed kisses on his warm skin, before you pulled down his sweatpants and boxers. You ordered Sihtric to sit on the edge of the bed, and you playfully moved down to your knees on the floor, in front of him, while he watched you with heavy-lidded eyes. You worked his length with your hands as you looked up into his eyes, and you licked your lips seductively. Then you kissed and left bite marks on his hips and inner thighs, and you slowly ran your tongue up his cock. You chuckled as you teased his tip with your tongue, feeling him twitch desperately while Sihtric tried his hardest not to moan. And because of that, you yanked his leash again.

'I want to hear you,' you said sternly, 'let me hear those pretty sounds you make for me, my kitten.'

Sihtric let out a deep, desperate moan as you took him in your mouth, and you edged him several times in the following few minutes of the recording, which turned your strong and confident boyfriend into a begging mess for you.

'Fuck, please,' he whined and his hands gripped the bedsheets, 'please let me fucking cum, love, please,' he begged, 'you're driving me fucking insane.'

'No,' you chuckled and continued to tease him with your tongue while you locked eyes.

'Gods, please,' Sihtric begged again, and hid his face behind his hands as he struggled to keep it together.

You decided to give him a break and kissed your way back up his body again, leaving several hickeys on his muscular chest and a few on his shoulders and neck.

You continued the video with reddened cheeks, and felt dizzy with lust when you watched how you ordered your collared and leashed bass player to mandhandle you, and to fuck you roughly in various positions until you came. And Sihtric did all that and more, as the good submissive he is for you. 

'Ah, fuck,' you moaned when Sihtric overpowered you and fucked into you, hard.

He took you from behind, keeping you pinned down on your stomach as he fucked you into the mattress, all while you still were in charge as you held his leash. You occasionally gave it a tug as you commanded him to go harder or when you wanted him to pull your hair.

'You dirty boy,' you giggled when you heard Sihtric's soft chuckle in your ear after you pulled him down by his leash, wanting to feel his body against yours as he continued to pound into you, 'my dirty boy,' you smiled, 'you better fuck me good right now or you won't get anything when you come back home again,' you teased.

And that was all it took to rile Sihtric up, and he dug his fingers in your hips to take you even faster and deeper. Sihtric moaned hard and heavy, as he had no problem taking control and going rough on you, but he would only do so if you ordered him to. And the one time he acted up earlier during the recording, by playfully ignoring one of your commands, you slapped his cheek just the way he liked it. But you were always careful to not bruise his pretty face, even when he begged you to slap him harder and harder while he disobeyed.

'Ah, god, don't fucking stop or I swear I will punish you!' you moaned just when he hit the right spot, 'don't you fucking stop, baby boy, not until I finish and not until you fill me up entirely. Fucking cum in me!' you cried out.

'Fuck!' Sihtric growled and stilled inside you right after you came, 'ah, fuck, lady,' he moaned, 'hm,' he then chuckled, 'my only purpose is to cum inside you when you tell me to.'

'That's right,' you giggled, 'such a good boy for me,' you said, just before he pulled out.

The video ended with you and Sihtric kissing each other all over, while you were both out of breath and coming down from your highs. Not much later you took off his collar, and Sihtric immediately wrapped his arms around you and rolled you over underneath him again, taking control on his own now that his "playtime" was over. He nuzzled your nose, kissed your lips and then buried his face in your neck while he had you trapped with his body. And you wrapped your arms around his shoulders and giggled while he peppered your neck and face with kisses.

'I love you,' he then whispered.

'I love you too,' you smiled and caressed his recently slapped cheek, on which you pressed a soft kiss, 'sorry for slapping you, baby.'

'Don't be sorry, doll, I loved it,' Sihtric murmured and stole a few more kisses, 'I love it when you use me.'

Then he sat up and grabbed his phone off his nightstand, and filmed you as you laid naked underneath him, and you remembered he smiled as he looked at you.

'I'm going to marry you one day,' you heard Sihtric say as you watched yourself stare up at him while he had filmed you.

'I can't wait,' you smiled.

And then the video ended.

taglist: @clairacassidy @finanmoghra @uunotheangel @hb8301 @bathedinheat @neonhairspray @anaeve @bubblyabs @travelingmypassion @sylasthegrim @andakth @chompchompluke @willowbrookesblog @lady-targaryens-world @skyofficialxx @elle4404 @alexagirlie @sweetxime @solango @gemini-mama @cheyennep3107 @little-diable @jennifer0305 @drwstarkeyy @mrsarnasdelicious @verenahx @urmomsgirlfriend1 @moonchildrenandflowercrowns @foxyanon @djarinsgirl27 @sigtryggrswifey @liandav @diiickbrainn

[punkscowardschampions]

Mia & Jimmy & Janis

Mia: [Computer Science project that you have to make a company/logo/business cards/spreadsheets/website/everythang you could think of so it takes a full term or whatever and you have to work with each other in every lesson] Mia: Right, I think we should do a law firm for our business Mia: because my dad is so we can actually use examples to make all our products legit Jimmy: what, like no win, no fee? 👍 can do a funny ad piss easy Mia: That is NOT the kind of lawyer my dad is Mia: funny isn't gonna get us good grades either Jimmy: 💔 Dunno who I'm gonna get to chase my 🚑 now Janis: I'm with Chuckles Janis: you're just trying to make this project most beneficial to you Janis: I don't wanna be a vulture when I grow up Janis: go generic as possible or it ain't fair Jimmy: don't reckon your dad needs the free promo any road, rich girl Jimmy: unless this is a cry for help that he can't get the prey Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Mia: Obviously I want to make it beneficial, I CARE about my grades and future Mia: but I'd love to hear your suggestions I'm sure Jimmy: you after a 🏆 or just a 👏 for trying to get an A? Mia: I get As, new boy, I don't just try Jimmy: I get it, you want 🤤😍 Jimmy: there Mia: Don't be so disgusting Mia: If you two are going to try and sabotage my grade, I WILL make my dad make Sir let me move Mia: I'm not being dragged down Jimmy: crack on, we've worked out your dad ain't busy with accidents at work Janis: Like, please try and use all daddy's clout to get that stubborn prick to do anything he's deciding he's not gonna do Janis: I already said I'd do this shit alone and no 🎲 Jimmy: don't sound like him that Jimmy: go on, rich girl, love to witness another failed flex Janis: You reckon we'd get extra points for fluffing our business expenses like your dad or what? Janis: I'll go along with it if we can convincingly hide our fake funds in a tax haven and make ourselves look LEGIT 👌 Jimmy: Me an' all Mia: You know as little about my dad as you do about your own, Janis Mia: you wish he was as crooked too but he's on the right side of the law so Janis: above the law Janis: can't do no wrong in your eyes, so I've heard Janis: but doubt new boy finds your family drama any more interesting than I do Janis: be a fucking law firm if you like, let's just split the jobs up equally and we don't have to talk until it's time to piece it all together Jimmy: I'll have the ad and the logo, tah very much Janis: you mean the fun bits Jimmy: I mean the 🎨 bits Jimmy: rich girl wants her A Janis: obliging Janis: I'll make the website and business cards, I've done it before Janis: Mia, do the data input, yeah Janis: star in Tarantino's ad, you'll love that Mia: No, no Mia: I don't feel comfortable leaving you completely to your own devices Mia: that's not a totally terrible split of the workload but I intend to oversee every step of the process Mia: we have to do a writeup at the end, you know Jimmy: it's almost like the other lass ain't as thick as you'd feel comfortable her being, funny that Mia: I literally want to do well and as far as I know, I'm the only one here who consistently gets good grades Mia: so hostile Mia: I agree that's how we should split the work but I'm not going to just assume you'll both do it well, we can all have input in every part Jimmy: could LITERALLY fill a book the size of sir's big head with all the shit you don't know about what I do well Jimmy: but alright Jimmy: watch me, if you don't get enough of it already, better uniform at work though, don't you reckon? Mia: Oh my God, brag much? Mia: hit the nail on the head with big head 🙄 Jimmy: stalk much? 🙄 Jimmy: least your dad could take my case Mia: It's HER sister that likes you, not ME Mia: get a grip and take it up with her if you're not feeling it Jimmy: I'll still give your dad a bell, chuck him that 🦴 as he's struggling Mia: As I said, he doesn't DO no win no fee, so you couldn't afford him Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: Now we've established it's justice only for those that can afford it Janis: and rich girls can do whatever they want Janis: what are we doing first, oh mighty project manager Jimmy: I'll do the logo in blue, sounds about right, that Janis: #bluelivesmatter is already taken for a tagline but I'll get to thinking Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: I'll have a think if I wanna use gold for her 👑 or silver for the 🥄 Janis: 🥄 might imply a problem with amphetamines and obviously, you want everyone to know you WORKED for that 💀🦴 all by yourself, you know Mia: You'd know all about that, wouldn't you Mia: taking over the family business, yeah? Jimmy: Oi, it ain't that grim up north Mia: Grim is right Jimmy: Gutted Rosso didn't make you feel like the WAG you deserve on your last visit babes 🤞 next time you'll spot them celebs Jimmy: or you'll keep to Bijou, that glam dress code would never do you dirty Jimmy: 💕 Janis: I get it Janis: you want me to make sure you're infertile Janis: all those cheat days and binges got you feeling unsure, no problem, just ask Jimmy: lend her the 🥄 Mia: You are both SUCH freaks Mia: what does any of that even mean Jimmy: bit rude Jimmy: only a freak on the weekend, me Mia: NOT interested, new boy Mia: I HAVE a boyfriend who's a lot hotter than you, right Janis? Jimmy: makes two of us, rich girl Janis: For someone who thinks my bloodline is filth, you LOVE being surrounded by 'em, yeah Janis: bit weird but everyone likes their bit of rough Janis: how disadvantaged is your dad's newest mistress, I mean secretary? Janis: SO charitable 💙 Jimmy: might be northern, sounds like they've been there loads Mia: Are you gay, new boy? Mia: I'll have to let down Gracie for you Jimmy: only for sir Jimmy: he's well fit Jimmy: crack on with letting your bestie down though and if my mum's the one with your dad, tell her she left the oven on but I sorted it Mia: ??? Mia: What EVEN Mia: you're cracked Jimmy: brb gotta go dry my eyes Jimmy: 🐣💕 Jimmy: I do feel #seen tah for that, hun Mia: I can't even Mia: fine, you two come up with our company branding Mia: I'm going to write out all the info to put on our website when it's done Jimmy: Oi, bad blood, you wanna be the star of my ad or what? Janis: no Jimmy: alright, I'll ask sir Janis: good taste Janis: rinse her dad in a fight Jimmy: tah for the meet cute opportunity Jimmy: when he's her dad's new mr I wanna 🎥📸 the wedding Janis: awh, full ⚪ Janis: she'll look adorable in her flower girl dress Jimmy: 🤞 Gracie catches the 💐 Jimmy: she is on a lad hunt Janis: 🤞 Mia's da has a brother Mia don't also want to fuck Jimmy: don't leave us in suspense 👑 does he or what? Mia: Shut the fuck up or I'll show all this to Sir Jimmy: Go on Jimmy: he'll think I'm 😎 and I'll be well in Janis: Do it, little miss perfect Janis: the part where you shit on my dead dad's grave will be well more shocking when I open the floodgates 😭 Jimmy: ⏲ Janis: ... Jimmy: ........ Janis: guess Sir won't wanna pet you no more when he finds out a. you're a cunt b. new boy is interested in your position Jimmy: he'll do til I can get Mr Lucas Jimmy: you can have him back then Janis: LOVE a happy ending Jimmy: I'll look top in my 👰 Janis: gutted about the lack of uniform though, yeah Mia? Jimmy: What do you make your boyfriend wear? 🦺? Mia: New boy, don't even go there 'cos he could beat you down so easy if I asked him to Janis: that means she pisses on him so they know he's hers Jimmy: makes sense that'd be your kink Janis: dog eat dog world, right babes Janis: stories you was raised on come straight out of your dad's man's man motivational speaker bullshit Jimmy: Oh shit, are you my half sister, rich girl? Jimmy: brb gotta pack my shit so I'm ready to move in Janis: get a princess dress to go with that 👰 Jimmy: order my 👑 in XXL tah Janis: can share with your sister Janis: big happy family vibes xoxo Jimmy: ��� Janis: get in here sis Janis: finally not a lonely child Mia: Yeah, I SO want 1000s of siblings like you Jimmy: You're alright, I've only got the one brother and the one sister Jimmy: be piss easy to fit us in your palace Mia: You AREN'T invited Mia: might steal the silverware 🥄🍴 Jimmy: I'll leave you a 🥄 to stick down your throat after dinner Jimmy: got some manners, me Mia: That's lovely, isn't it Mia: eating disorders are really serious, you shouldn't make some jokes Janis: respect the 🎨 Jimmy: cleaning the 🚽 after you lot is an' all Jimmy: part of the job description btw, I get that you'd have to have one to know what that means but Janis: 😏 Janis: staff know all your dirty little secrets, babes Janis: better than a tip, like Jimmy: be 👻⚰💀 before I get a tip off her Janis: if we were all walking 'round looking as SICK as her, what would be the point of corroding away her esophagus and not-so pearly whites? Janis: gotta find your own tricks, boy Jimmy: I'll put a ❄️ in the logo for you, babes Janis: cannot escape those coke vibes omg Janis: you're a PR nightmare Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: #whitelivesandwhitelines Janis: GREAT slogan Janis: basically done over here and you're just texting 💀💩 Janis: tsk tsk, Mimi Jimmy: tick tock or tik tok if you'd rather Jimmy: 😘 Janis: 😂 Janis: make us a law tiktok, hun Jimmy: starring your dad, OBVS Janis: share that 🤤🤤🤤 with the world, not just the local 18-35s Jimmy: 💰 on him being a 🔥🔥🔥 dancer Janis: all middle-aged white men are Jimmy: DUH Janis: POV- you're my client, I'm overcharging you Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤😍😍😍 Mia: You're obsessed with me, I get it 🙄 Jimmy: busted Janis: If that's a crime Janis: get to spend more time with your dad than you do Janis: 💘 Jimmy: SO romantic Jimmy: 👨💕 Janis: can't wait 'til he wants a couple grams Jimmy: refill the silver 🧂 Janis: you know it Janis: sugarbowl never tasted so sweet Jimmy: 😋 Janis: careful Janis: her boyfriend WILL fuck you up Jimmy: I get it, he's obsessed with me Janis: can't blame him Mia: OMG Mia: that is soooo fucked Mia: know your family doesn't see blood relation as an issue but he'll 🤢 when I show him this Jimmy: if he's that bothered, he can come find me Jimmy: you've had my shifts memorised since I started Mia: You wish Jimmy: to give him a smack, yeah Jimmy: why not? Jimmy: sounds like a right knobhead Mia: [sends a picture of Pablo like he's a prize bull or some shit gross Mia] Mia: you reckon, do you? 😂 Jimmy: I reckon he looks like a right knobhead an' all now, since you asked Mia: You've got a deathwish like Mia: wow Janis: kindred spirits Jimmy: 'cause you reckon he looks like a knobhead an' all? that's just sense Janis: was talking about her eating disorder which is VERY serious and we MUST NOT joke about Janis: but yeah, the fuckboy radiating from that selfie must be the appeal Jimmy: Soz mate Mia: She doesn't DO boys, I'd save your breath Jimmy: weren't breathing down her neck, that's you Jimmy: I get why now though, it's a blatant crush Janis: Stalking's your kink, right babes? Janis: Or am I just that special Jimmy: [draws these gals as snowflakes holding hands but Mia is melting] Janis: That's good Janis: but horrific Jimmy: #allherkinks Jimmy: [doodles on the picture of Pablo that she sent in hilarious ways] Janis: 😂😂 Janis: Send him that, whilst you're at it, Mimi Janis: really get him 'roiding out Mia: 🖕🖕🖕 Mia: you're both jealous, both for weird freaky reasons Jimmy: Of what? Go on Mia: You're jealous because you think every girl here wants to ride you and I DON'T Mia: because my boyfriend is better looking and fitter than you 💁 Mia: and she's jealous either because she wants me or she wants her own brother Mia: either way 😷😷😷😷 Jimmy: if every girl round here wanted to crack onto me why would I give a shit if you do or don't? Jimmy: all your mates are fitter than you and they ain't close to this paddy school's top tier Jimmy: and you just said she don't do lads so why would she wanna have a go on her brother unless the steroids have fucked him up harder than advertised Mia: yeah 👌 narcissist Mia: neg me, that'll totally make me interested Jimmy: 🤞 it'll keep you well clear Jimmy: that'll do Mia: I want to be working with you as much as you do me, I've said Mia: leave me alone and this can be as painless as possible Jimmy: I get that you're fuming your boyfriend is growing bigger tits than you but that ain't my problem, my dear Mia: So immature Jimmy: still got a deeper voice than him Janis: imagine defending your man this hard when he fully cheats on you Janis: 💔 Janis: daddy all over again, am I right? Jimmy: 🎻😭🎻 Jimmy: Dunno what I'm more flattered by, that you reckon I'm gay after seeing the state of all the straight lads round here or not wanting to ride me 'cause I ain't a cheating dickhead with massive tits or in your dad's case a hair transplant Jimmy: either way, tah Janis: could donate some to the cause, new boy Janis: hair, not tits Jimmy: you could an' all Jimmy: cause a scandal Janis: #cancelling bitches is a solid hobby Jimmy: there you go Janis: can't lose my only beauty though Janis: 🎻🎻 Janis: have to keep being #problematic yourself babes, so soz Jimmy: 👍 Mia: Stop nerd flirting Mia: send me what work you've done today Jimmy: Hang on, I'll 😎🚬 Jimmy: 💕 Mia: Gross Jimmy: What, I'm only fit and mysterious if I starve myself to 💀💀💀? Alright Jimmy: [sends her the work like oh I must be a nerd then] Mia: Thank you Mia: I'll go over this and give feedback later Jimmy: Gross Mia: 🙄 Mia: I've got to do a speech in Politics and Society after this, so I need to prepare Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: 👋 Janis: pleasure as always Jimmy: bit rude if you two get to nerd flirt Janis: what's 'fuck off' in Arabic? Jimmy: تخلص من Jimmy: probably means ILY or some bollocks 'cause I google translated it Janis: beautiful Janis: love double-meaning Janis: Qué te folle un pez espada, new boy Jimmy: ? Janis: I hope you get fucked by a swordfish 💘 Jimmy: [draws their teacher, Mr Lucas, Pablo and Mia's dad all as swordfish so she can vote for who she ships him with] Jimmy: ✔ or ❌ Janis: [❌ out Pablo's eyes and Mr Lucas' junk like no] Jimmy: [IRL 😏] Janis: [does very unflattering drawing of Mia all up on her father] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: not an A though, is it Jimmy: [makes it even more unflattering somehow like now it is and now it's also teamwork so even better] Janis: 😏 Jimmy: LOVE a #collab Janis: been waiting for a group project to come along Jimmy: rigged it to work with 👑💀 obvs Janis: duh Jimmy: SO obsessed, her dad will get me off though, he can TOTALLY relate Janis: should but it in our ad Jimmy: 🔪🔪🔪🚿 Janis: 😱😱😱 Jimmy: 💘 Janis: Sir will kill that role Jimmy: Literally Janis: ha ha 🙄 Jimmy: Chuckles is right 🤡 Janis: keep 'em coming Janis: 👑💀 might have an aneurism Jimmy: 🤞 might get an A if she dies Janis: it's what she would've wanted Jimmy: you do love a happy ending Janis: who don't Janis: be my tragic family's fault, no doubt Jimmy: so I've heard Janis: not gonna apologize, new boy Jimmy: weren't waiting for one Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👌 Janis: please stop nerd flirting with me Jimmy: you started it Jimmy: calm YOURSELF down, mate Janis: did I fuck Jimmy: neg me, that'll totally make me interested Janis: [IRL 😏] Jimmy: [sends her a pisstake version of the logo to fully drag Mia] Janis: is it RGB #374E88 though Jimmy: what? Janis: it's called tory blue Jimmy: is it? Jimmy: [does a colour corrected version immediately] Janis: Better Janis: solid 🥇 Jimmy: Tah Janis: [the pisstake business card with the logo for her dad] Janis: we've absolutely SMASHED it Jimmy: I reckon we can go Jimmy: 😎🚬 Janis: alright Jimmy: [IRL 😘 to sir] Janis: [we're loving this so hard but gotta hide it] Jimmy: [strutting out cos bad bitch global] Janis: [when you wanna go for all the reasons but also the rumour mill would go off immediately so you're like hmm] Janis: [fuck your life amirite babe] Jimmy: [gutted we ever have to end this convo so same]