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chinateacup · 3 years ago

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Hello there! I don't know if you've noticed this but we're nearing the anniversary of your fic Romance and Rebellion being published (I noticed this morning but didn't think to send you an ask until now). It took me a bit of time to find out where I can reach out to you because your tumblr on that fic is outdated, but luckily some later chaps of your ongoing one have the right url!

I wanted to say thank you very much for writing that. I know it's not a long fic, and I can see you've said before that you're not the proudest of it (since it was your very first for the ship and so the characterisation is a bit off) but I've had it in my bookmarks since the day it came out and I have read it hundreds of times. The mood you create in that first chapter is phenominal. It feels really nostalgic and freeing, you describe Taka's emotions so well. Especially on the motorcycle and with that first kiss.

My favorite scene is when they're hanging their heads off the end of the bed and talking about their pasts. It's so subtle and under-written, which gives it such a dreamy, floaty effect, which mirrors Taka's current state of inebriation perfectly. I don't know if you intended that but if you did, well done. The second chapter provides a nice, calmer counterpart to that, despite the obvious angstier elements to it, and ties up all the loose ends nicely. And those last few lines of dialogue Woahhhh let me find them so I can paste them in;

"Mondo bit the inside of his cheek. “…Do…ya think we’ll always be together?”

Taka sighed gently, shifting so he was curled against Mondo and his head rested on his chest, rising and falling as he breathed. “We’re together now.”

Mondo paused, before smiling widely. “Yeah. Yeah, guess we are.”"

THESE LINES AHHHHH! They're wonderful!!!! Out of curiosity, does this take place in a happy AU or is a prequel to the events of the game? Because the meaning changes depending on which. It might be optimistic and sweet or very very sad indeed...

Anyway yes, I think that's all I have to say about that. I also love Jealousy, and it's really cool watching how much your writing and characterisation improves with every fic and every chapter. You are an incredible writer. I hope I have made it clear how much your work means to me and how happy it has made me throughout this difficult year. Please do have a wonderful day and I look forward to all your future works.

Ohhhhhhhhhhggggg my goddddd ,,

Um first of all, thank you thank yOU SO SO MUCH? I have been having a really horrible week honestly and you have no idea how happy this made me to read. It’s especially kind since this isn’t a fic that I hear a lot about, and also like you said, it’s not one I’m particularly proud of so um. Yes I’m very happy right now :,)

I haven’t reread that one in a while but as far as I can remember, I made so many little mistakes in that fic that snowballed in my head and made it awful to me. I knew literally nothing about Takaaki so the scenes with him read weird to me now, and as I said, I would write Mondo and Taka differently if I was going to write it today.

As for whether it takes place in an AU, I tried to leave it as ambiguous as possible for that exact reason. I wanted their future to remain very open ended :) so it could be a happy ending or a sad one.

Thank you so much again for such a kind ask, I really can’t tell you how much it means to me that you took the time to find me just so you could tell me you liked me fic oh god I’m going to cry again uHM THANK YOUUUU💝💘💗💗💘💘💘💘💕💕💕💘💖💖💕💕💖💗💓💗💖💘💘💕

#waaaaah #ask #tea rambles #ishimondo #my writing #long post

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estrxlar · 3 years ago

Text

The Ghost Of You

15 - In Love, For Real

This chapters songs:

Frame Of Reference: Drug Store Romeos

Baby Blue; Stevie Dinner

Magic Wand; URL

- Y. L. Perspective

"Koushi, I don't even really care about it anymore. He's not gonna be trouble, " I quietly him, waiting for him to mumble something. Instead, he kept looking down at the floor below him in silence. After giving him a summary of our history I could only assume Sugawara felt bad for assuming that Oikawa was an issue.

"I was just scared; with the way you looked at him and hid when you saw him, I assumed you felt unsafe or that something had happened between you and him. But I'm sorry. I know approaching the situation with 'I'll beat his ass' isn't exactly the best solution to finding out what happened," He giggled. Koushi was extremely angry with the idea that I was in the same room with somebody who might have done something to or with me. Oikawa only wishes.

His shoulders become soft when I pat them with my left hand. We had just gotten to my house after coming back from the gym, exhausted from the practice game, even if we hadn't played. Koushi leaned back onto his car, putting his hands into his pockets and sighing. "Spring is around the corner,

Y/n," he says in a gentle tone. "If it's okay with you, I'd like to take you out a lot during that time. Even if we're just friends."

'Just friends? Is that what he thinks we are?' I furrow my brows in frustration. After much panic and distress from this entire situation with Koushi, I wasn't expecting him to turn all "friendly" with me. "..friends?"

"Uhm..since you haven't made up your mind yet, I wasn't sure if you were gonna tell me something or not. I'm just saying: if things don't work out, I still want to keep you as a close friend. You mean a lot to me," he explains, rubbing the back of his neck nervously.

I stop leaning on his car and stand in front of him. I wasn't sure why I did it, or what I was thinking, but I knew that I had something to say. I just stood in front of him and looked down at my tennis shoes. "I already know what I want, Suga. I just don't know how to tell you how I feel. I've never felt so at home with somebody. Not the way I do with you. I don't think I've ever cried as much as I do when I'm with you, which is the most embarrassing thing ever. And I..." my words trail off when his hand meets my jaw and lifts it for my eyes to meet his. "I think I'm in love with you, too, Koushi."

His lips part slightly when I whisper to him, churning a pit of butterflies in my gut. I'd never genuinely felt so weak under his grasp. I'm an independent and strong girl who never lets anybody take control of me— not until I'm under the grasp of Koushi Sugawara. He runs his hand up my waist and onto my back, pushing me further into him. To my surprise, he doesn't kiss me like all the other times. Instead, he wraps his strong arms around my back and holds me tightly against him, tucking his face into my neck.

"Y/n...I'd been dying for you to tell me that," he says as I ease into him, breathing in his scent. He smelt sweet, fresh, and masculine all at once. Every time I inhaled I melted in his hands simply because of how good he smelled.

I closed my eyes and embraced my love for Koushi through the hug, feeling his heartbeat call to mine through our chests. What I felt for him was something completely different than anything I've ever experienced. Knowing that all this time I was so in love with the guy and I hadn't noticed made me feel like an idiot.

But of course love him. I smile just thinking about holding his hand and seeing his lovely face. When his warmth fills my body, I feel at ease. If I catch myself fantasizing about his lips on my skin, my muscles stiffen and I scream inside. And when he kisses me, every hormone—every nerve— every vein— everything goes wild. I wouldn't even be able to imagine the impure things I want with him without short-circuiting. In every bitter situation, I stumble upon, there he is to catch me, to tell me that I'll be okay. How could I not get myself into this mess?

I didn't care about the consequences. I wanted to fall into deep, beautiful, painful love with Koushi Sugawara.

"Y/n." My eyes shutter open at his call for me before I pull away slightly to look at him. "Is it okay if I stay over for a little bit? I wanna spend some alone time with you before leaving."

I nod my head, smiling. "Of course, come on, let's head inside."

Sugawara swept off his jacket and folded it in half, placing it onto my nightstand. "Hey, do you still have the hood I gave you the day of the party?" He asks me while I'm rummaging through my drawers to find something comfortable to sleep in.

"Ah, I do! I completely forgot about it until you mentioned it; sorry I kept it for so long," I say, pulling out his black jacket from the bottom drawer where I kept things people had lend to me. I hand it to him, bowing slightly."Thank you for letting me use it."

He puts his hands in front of me, backing up a step. "No, no. That's alright. I was just wondering if you had kept it. But you can, if you'd like."

"Oh, I don't know. I think I'd feel too bad!" I whine, setting it down on my desk. The sweater sure was comfortable and soft, smelled like him too. But it was his, not mine.

He chuckles, saying, "that's okay, Y/n. They're free from the team anyway. And besides, it's nice knowing you have it with you." After that, he turns to peek his head around a few of the corners in my room, his eyes searching for something.

I set down the jacket and take out a pair of soft sleep shorts and a large blue t-shirt. "What are you looking for, " I ask him, pulling off my black sweater.

"Your cat, I just found her, " he says, reaching under my bed for Astra. At first, meowed in protest of being picked up, but soon settles into Suga's lap when he begins petting her. "Are you gonna change clothes? Don't worry, I won't look." He laughs and turns to the wall and continues stroking Astra's back. "When did you get her?"

"The cat? Around two years ago. She's tiny, isn't she?" I trade my pants for the shorts. After changing into my sleepwear, I climb onto the bed and lean over the ledge of it, looking down at Koushi and my cat. She purred and burrowed into his hips, turning and twisting. "I think she has a little crush on you, Suga."

He laughs at my joke, places Astra back into her comfy spot under the bed, and stands up. The two of us look at each other for a second, waiting for one of us to do something. Koushi takes initiative, sitting down next to me on my bed and laying back. "So.."

"Hm?" I fall back next to him, reaching for his soft hair. My fingers twirl around his silver locks, pleased by how gentle and thin they were. Then, I switch from my back onto my stomach, leaning onto my elbows for support, and observed Koushi's resting body. He looked so peaceful when looking at me. It was almost as if staring into his eyes could make time freeze.

He turned onto his side, staring right back at me. "C'mere," he whispers, pulling me towards his chest. It was so sudden that I couldn't have even said no—not that I wanted to. Koushi pulled a few pillows under our heads and blankets over our bodies, making us warm and comfortable. "Are you tired?"

"Yes, it seems late nights are our thing now," I recall the many times I'd stayed up so late just to hang out with Koushi and the long days that came before them. Nonetheless, it was all worth it in the end."Did you wanna talk?"

He sighs, stroking my head. "Only if you wanted to. For now, I like this."

I stay quiet, wondering what we were now.

'Two people who love each other, but are too scared to say something. That seems sad, right? Or maybe it would be best if we both wait for just a little to become a couple. What does being a couple mean exactly? Would I have to hold his hand when I see him or kiss him every time we meet in the halls? Sugawara is a man with desires and needs. Eventually, he's gonna try and go further than I've ever gone before and I'll turn my thoughts into physicality.'

It didn't seem all that bad. Sharing my love and trust with Koushi makes me feel like I'm safe. The only risk I'll be taking is feeling disturbing, dreadful pain when I leave for America. But did it matter if I loved him so much?

"Koushi," I mutter under my breath. He hums in response, waiting for me to continue my sentence. "What if things don't go the way we want to? I'm scared that by the end of our third year, we'll be separated from each other."

He tightens his arms around my back, putting our chests together. What I asked must have bothered him in some way. "We'll be okay, Y/n. It's all worth it if we get to be with each other for a little bit, right? I know you have some big plans for your future. I don't want you to give that up. So I promise we would be able to figure out something before you leave, okay?" He pulls my face away from him for a second to kiss my nose.

I close my eyes humming in comfort of his words. He was right; As long as I'm able to make the best out of my last year in high school, then I'll be as happy as ever.

"Yeah, okay. And if it's okay with you, can you stay the night? I just like being next to you," I say, growing shy. A cup his cheeks in my palms, not taking notice of how I stared at his lips. It wasn't a secret that I wanted him to kiss me.

As expected, he nods, putting his forehead against mine. His hazel eyes are far too close for me to gaze at, so I look at his features further. His man nose, his perfect skin, his special little beauty mark. My thumb glides against it as my knee meets with his, making us intertwine legs. 'I'm as close to Koushi than I've ever been at this point—I can feel his pulse,' I think, gulping loudly when he brushes his nose against mine.

Finally, he closes the gap between our lips, softly kissing my lips. I close my eyes soon after and pull him further towards me with my arms around his neck. I was dumbfounded at how much of an idiot I was for not realizing that this entire time the feeling Koushi would give me was more than just investment in a good friendship, but in a relationship as well. The more time I spent with him the more I got to realize those feelings. And when he had confessed so romantically, that's when everything had hit me. I was in love with Koushi since the moment he tapped my shoulder in math class to tell me his name and age. If only I could have been with him sooner, then we'd have more time to cherish with one another.

I pull away from him for if only a second, blushing ferociously at our intimate moment. "Y/n, I love you." He whispers to me, kissing my lips one last time before pulling my head into his shoulder. And with that, the two of us dose off in each other's hold, thrilled by the idea that we were in love.

my vote :) ty for reading and have a nice night/day. I love you always <3

- estrxlar

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