#I didn't know my pokemon had the same egg groups!

[alex-and-pokemans]

So... Ugh... I found Buttercup with an egg... Um... What do I do??

[bigfan-fanfic]

Star Shower (Batdad Pokemon Fanfic)

Can you do a fic where the batboys seeing batdad do a pokemon contest performance for the first time in real life? Batdad used to be a top pokemon coordinator and sorta quietly stopped being a coordinator because of Bruce disappearing and the whole family of vigilantes and having to take care Wanye Enterprise. Now that the batboys are adults and (mostly) stop vigilante-ing, batdad decided to re-debut.

Bruce, of course, leads the family down the red carpet.

He's so very proud of his husband. He has always felt a little guilty about the fact that you had to take an early retirement from your Coordinator career to run Wayne Enterprises and watch over the family after he came back.

But now you're back in full form, and the press is on fire, calling it "The Return of the King" and other such dramatic claims.

You were known for the powerful combination of your Lucario and Gardevoir - a glorious display of simple martial prowess combined with psychic illusions and effects.

But there's been a surprising development.

Instead of Lucario, you've registered with Gardevoir and Cubone.

The very same Cubone you raised from an egg.

People are intrigued, knowing you're bringing something completely new, but totally unable to keep from speculating.

"B, did you ever go to one of Pops' shows?" Dick asks. He, Bruce, Tim, and Barbara head down the carpet - Jason and Damian and the others have sought out a more discreet entrance.

"I did, once, before I left for training. It was... beautiful. He actually pulled me onstage and kissed me in public for the first time, after the performance. Honestly, I can't recall much about that show, but I remember the cologne he wore that night." Bruce sighs happily.

Tim rolls his eyes. "Some help you are. I still don't know what we're going to see tonight."

"I sent you a whole file of Contest performances last month to get you up to speed!" Barbara protests. "Do you... mute the group chat?"

"It's just not as fun now that it's... just a normal family chat."

Dick laughs. "I don't think we're that normal, Timmy."

They do a few short sound bites for the press, making it clear that tonight they are here for you. And backstage, Jason and Damian have come to give you good luck hugs.

"Awwww, my baby boys." You chuckle.

"Papa, are you sure you'll be alright that Brown and Cain and the Rows and Thomas won't-"

"Don't remind him of that!" Jason growls. "He doesn't need-"

"It'll be fine. Alfred's watching them all, and I don't blame them for avoiding the press. It doesn't mean they aren't with me." You smile. "Plus, I know Tim will be recording it for them."

Jason hugs you. "Go get em, Dad."

You smile softly, then look down to Damian. "Dami? You alright?"

Damian gives you a little shaky smile. "I suppose I'm just... excited, is all. To see you perform."

"Me too, kiddo. Go find your seats, okay? I want you to make sure you stick by your dad. You know he gets anxious when you're all out in public."

As they head back, you don the classic hat and tailored suit you were known for as a young Coordinator, adjusted and updated for the man you are now.

And you walk out on stage to thunderous applause from the audience - the loudest cheers from your family. The other Coordinators flourish on their entrance, throwing their Pokeballs into the air wildly, but you simply open your hands and let them exit. A little shy to debut, Cubone tries to hide behind you, but Gardevoir lifts the little thing up with psychic power into your arms for a quick cuddle, making the audience "awwww."

Eventually the show continues, each Coordinator doing their set, leaving you for last. Which definitely sets them on edge, you can tell.

But you're here because you wanna show the world that you didn't lose yourself all those years ago.

You start out cross-legged on the stage, sitting down. Cubone cuddles in your lap before tumbling out, seemingly eager to show you something.

The audience gives a little chuckle at the orchestrated adorable tumble.

Cubone withdraws a large bone and begins to slowly swing it around, twirling it like a baton. And when it tosses the bone into the air, it... lifts.

And then another, and another. Seven bones float in a large oval, continuing to revolve faster and faster as they spin across the stage.

The spotlight darkens, as light fractures behind you both - the stage becoming a prismatic field of light. Gardevoir appears, floating in the middle of the circle of spinning bones.

Cubone gives an excited cry and hurls a Bonemerang and one by one the bones break open in bursts of glitter powder, which swirl and swirl like a nebula forming into a planetary ring.

Gardevoir twirls in midair, the center of the nebula, and sends the shining rainbow powder running down to the stage-

-only for Cubone to use Icy Wind to freeze the powder in midair, making a beautiful mix of rainbow and snow, in an intricate swirl as Gardevoir manipulates the crystal formation.

As a grand finale, Gardevoir levitates Cubone into the center of a globe formed of ice and glitter, only for it to use Earth Power, bursting out in green and gold light, dissolving the ice and sending the glitter drifting like stardust across the audience.

There's a moment of stunned silence. And then in a great wave, the audience stands, and as they applaud, you see your husband practically glowing with pride and awe.

Of course, you win the Contest, and you hold your Cubone close in reward. The press calls it the greatest Contest Comeback of all time, but you're too busy watching your family gently praise your shy little Cubone and elegant Gardevoir.

And your husband never leaves your side the rest of the night.

[theoneandonlyduskstrike]

Ramblings Reuploaded #2

My Trans story so far (2024)

Hoi there, and happy trans day of visibility. I can't possibly be more vissible then this right? I had to share my story with someone a few months back when i came out to them, and ever since then i had the idea of making it my next post in this inconsistent and confusing series.

I say series because this is part two. Here's part 1 on...sonic cd. yup.

So the format is simple. I take something i already typed and try to make it more legible for a blog type racket. No reason not to get right into it. Beware of typos, and transphobes begone!

I'm a kid in a barber shop. My grandpa is talking up a storm to some random clerk. I'm extremely bored. There are some toys though. Poly pocket. I never seen these before. These are so cool. I wish i had one of these but they don't make boy versions right?

Some time in 2022, I was at work dealing with closing cleaning type things which let my mind wander. I started thinking about a fairly innocuous interaction I had in FFXIV no earlier then 2021. The race I wanted to play was gender locked so I was playing as a female character. Two players starting joking around with me and the whole time they used fem pronouns for me. I didn't think too much about it back then but on that day in late 2022 it made me question why I was so ok with that use of language towards me

That was the day my egg cracked.

I spent the rest of 2022 trying desperately to figure out what my relationship to gender was. Just what the heck was I and did that even mean anything? Maybe I was gender fluid. It was hard to feel fem at work. Or oh! Maybe i'm just a drag queen in the making. But why did I not want that to be true and did that mean anything? Well clearly i wasn't actually trans right? Nevermind that gender fluid was trans. I thought maybe that I only felt that way because I was playing a character. So I made up my mind. In 2023, at the start of a new year I would begin to experiment.

It's around the era of the nintendo wii and something is bothering me feircly. I spent days on my gamecube on my tiny crt and realized I was picking princess peach a lot on my precious 'cube. I confide in my friend that I really must have a crush on her. When pressed I can't say why. I'm so glad he doesn't embarss me for my stupid feelings. It was a little weird I didn't like her as much in that one game though. Not my fault she just looked better in a dress.

I stopped cutting my hair and started trimming my beard and prized mustache so I was always smooth and baby faced. Anyone who asked I simply told them that it was a new year and a new me. Except for my friends who were the first to know.

My imposter syndrome was HIGH. And it remaind so for a long time. so afraid was I that I was actually, secretly, a fake trans. I had no evidence for this except piss poor self confidence. I only talked myself out of it much later with the idea that "Being trans and just really thinking you're trans is functionally the same so it doesn't mater if i'm 'fake' "

Unfortunately, my friend group wasn't doing a lot of online gaming at the time. I got a little desperate to see if my new pronouns fit. To my shame I basically asked one of them to contrive reasons to put pronouns into a sentence so they had reasons to use my new ones. They did not oblige.

Another pokemon game for my precious nintendo 3ds. I pick the girl because clearly they'll have better fashion options. I had just learned my lesson from Pokemon Y. No other reason. A few other simular things. I pick up megaman zx for the first time and choose the girl because, obviously, only female megaman.

I got a break when I was invited to a short lived DND group. I started hanging out with a separate friend group I was already beginning to know before gender stuff started. With ample chances to try my gender out I realized that something felt right.

So I went deeper. I remember wandering around a good will trying not to draw ire or eyes as I went and both tried on a dress and managed to bring it home. The few times I wore it felt great. Would feel much better if it actually fit.

It's my childhood again and i'm sat in front of the ps1 with my little brother. Namco museum only had one true co-op game. Toy Pop. I pick the girl so he won't have to.

In days to come I kept experimenting. I started to realize all the small signs. You already know many of them. I've peppered them througout my story. Unbeknownst to me I had already started to experiment with gender. Awhile ago I, once again trying not to get attention, bought some thigh highs from a party store. I really enjoyed wearing those. Everyone except for me knew I was trans before me, including me.

When I was dead certain on my path I set up an appointment with planned parenthood. I told my grandparents I was simply heading to Dave and busters which was technically not untrue. I began my medical transition but I was also urged to come out to people. I couldn't live in the closet forever. So I did so with my very obviously gay manager… And it went nothing like I expected. It went well, but not how I thought. I ended up coming out to the whole work force as well.

The right wing had tricked me into thinking any "regular" person would react with shock and confusion on a reveal of my new gender identity. All the media I consumed had colaborated this.

I'm just entering furry twitter when I see quite a few posts of male characters in dresses, usuasly of the maid variety. How cute, i think. I'm allowed to do this one because it's a shared joke. So i draw the one dress.

And then a few more.

"I wish I could look as good as my characters do right now"

Eventually I managed to come out to my grandparents. They were confused but attempting to be accepting. Things have mostly been rocky in the sense that they haven't made any effort to treat me the way I ask, but they don't deny me. The parents who raised me are forbidden to know their daughter.

I even came out to my astranged mother. (seperate from my step mother mention a second ago). When I was in highschool she moved back in town and we started to rekindled our relationship. Being the first to know I was ace, it was a shock when she became a born again christian. I thought she'd never accept me and I was almost right. Behind closed doors she tells my younger sister to not refer to me by my pronouns, or so i'm told.

After I was out for awhile something weird happened and I stopped.. Policing my own behavior. How I held myself. The words I used. I was my own women. I didn't need to fit into a box. The more I went on the more free I felt!

I started holding my hands in gay little ways. I crossed my legs. I walked however the hell I wanted. I used 'hon' whenever i felt like it. I wore this cute little collar I owned out to my weekly dnd meetings. Who cares. I'm me now. This cat can't be boxed.

The longer I've been on this journey the more I felt right. And here we are now. A two year or more journey still ongoing

It's 2023 and i'm attempting to put on eyeliner for the first time. It goes horribly. I laugh, inform my friends of my mistake, and we play games through the night. I wear my favorite of the two dresses. I ask them if it's ok to do so. They laugh. What and absurd thing to ask. Why would a woman not be allowed to wear a dress?

I would like to thank a huge number of people for their help in my journey but my brain is mush so i'll try to get as many as I can

@tuttifruttifox my ex who's been supportive of my journey and put up with my experimentation @biddyfox girl you are my sister and I couldn't have done this without you. Thank you so much for everything. @bigbadkingboomboo for casually replying to my nervous bullshit with "ma'am this is mcdonalds" which was simultaneously very funny and very affirming.

@cynical-cy for being you. Honestly just being a out trans woman who's art I happened to enjoy did wonders I think. Sorry to tag you. I know we're not really friends.

@patricia-taxxon that one fucking video you made on just being a furry and doing your own thing litterally changed me. You made me stop hidding who and what i am.

Honorable mentions to my friend xio. he doesn't do tumblr, but He's been my best friend through everything and his support is invaluable to me. I love you buddy.

if you think you should be on this list too, let me know and i'll add you cause honestly it takes a village to raise a catgirl.

[a-tale-of-legends]

Brainstorming ideas for the rivals relationship with each other, starting with Wally since he popped into my head first.

Blue: Fucking tired of his dramatic ass ( read: they are best friends)

Silver: Get along well! Wally was too sweet to be mean to when they first met, but also very strong. Battle Tower buddies :) ( Wally takes over for Anabel in my au, and Silver ends up managing the Johto Battle Tower).

Barry: Was a bit much for Wally at first, it was hard for Wally to keep up at first....still is. But ever since the first time they met I feel they've grown to be friends.

Barry and Wally are actually the same age in my au. By dppt, they're both 13( dppt takes place 3 years after emerald in my au.). I have Barry be 13 because why not. He's already older in canon, why not make it by a few years ( Danica, the protag, was 11 at the time). Anyway, this is to say that Blue was the oldest of the initial 4 ( by a single year) and Silver was the baby, which Blue made sure to bring up. A lot. Wally had to prevent Silver from decking Blue in the face so many times....

Bianca: Mostly knows her through Kohaku ( a fellow pokemon professor) and general Chosen Shit. Sweet girl! Admires her ability to recognize her own limits and be okay with them. It took him a while for him to do that. Despite being only met her recently, he's proud of her? Does that makes sense?

Cheren: Someone who he feels sorry for. Because Blue just. Would not stop bothering him. He decided to join Jin and Kohaku to the pwt. He didn't participate, he wasn't a part of the gym unit or a past champion, but he was allowed to interact with the competitors. He then saw blue, who then saw Cheren, and it went downhill from there.....okay that's a lie. Things were tense, yes, but it seems they ended up being friends by the end of it. Blue said something about the two having a lot in common, more than he realized. So....yay? Friendship? Personally, Wally relates to Cheren on some level. The drive to be stronger, be better, to let it warp his mind....yeah. He gets that. He's happy that Cheren found his own path in the end. He can kinda get why him and Blue ended up becoming friends. That, and they're both nerds ( Green's words, not his, he swears)

Hugh: Actually doesn't know him all too well. Cheren mentioned him having a bit of a temper, which makes him beg that he doesn't get into a spat with Silver if they ever met ( he knows that Silver isn't as... prickly as he was before, but he's still Silver). Though Cheren says he's a good kid, so Wally takes his words on it

For this batch, the Unova rivals are all younger than Wally, Hugh by a lot. In bw, Wally would be 16 with Cheren and Bianca being 14-15( thinking about dumping up Cheren's age to 15 I mean). Not a super big age difference, but on an experience level, it's a lot. By b2w2, Wally is 18 with the rivals being 16-17 ( Bianca and Hugh being 16, Cheren being 17.... this might change in the feature).

I feel like Wally doesn't know the Kalos rivals all too well. He had definitely seen the news about them ( its when he finally starts to notice a certain pattern with these types of events), and is deeply concerned for their mental health, cause holy shit. Post XY, he would have definitely seen them around so-

Shauna: Given her status as the information tracker of the Chosens,Wally has been in contact with her plenty of times. They have great conversation, Shauna showing him all the pictures she would take when she's out scouting, and Wally talking to her about his own traveling experiences.

Trevor: Since one of his partners is a professor, it's no surprise he would hear about Sycamore's latest professor assistant. I feel Trevor would be closer to Kohaku since the whole researcher thing, but given Trevor also has some interests in being a trainer, and is more attune to fairy types/ the fairy egg group, Wally kinda becomes a mentor figure to him. It's a weird position for him, he never considered himself the mentor, rather the mentee. Though he guesses it's been years since he was young and inexperienced.

The Kalos rivals ages are always changing in my head, but I, for the life of me, cannot picture them as 10, I cannot. They are mid to late teens. xy takes place the same time as B2w2 in my au, sooo the same applies the xy rivals here from above.

Hau: First things first. Blue was the one that asked him to come to the Battle Tree, not the other way around ( not that blue has been pushing this narrative, more so media coverage of it, which is annoying.) Okay onto Hau. Really good kid. Which has Wally worried. Fears that people would take advantage of his kind nature, and is horrified to learn that has happened in some cases. Appreciates blue and red taking up the "uncle" role for him and the other kids in Alola( how did they reach that? He has now fucking clue, but it's sweet).

Gladion: Another kid that Wally is worried about. I don't think Wally would exactly know about Gladion's situation, but has gotten some context clues about what's going on ( also Green traveling with Lillie in Kanto helps bridge the gap in information). Wally doesn't stay in Alola like Red and Blue, but he makes an effort to call them every once in a while, both to check up on them and the kids. Anyway, Gladion has definitely challenged Wally to a battle at some point. Maybe multiple points.....okay an interesting plot point I can see for Gladion is him traveling through Hoenn at Wally's request. Ooooh, and Gladion already becomes a dark type E4 member in my au, so that really could be interesting if he meets Sydney hmmmmmmm.....food for thought.

Hop: " Oh, Barry 2.0" ( he means this in the most affectionate way possible....also doesn't say it out loud). I don't thiiiiiiink Wally would know him well? Like with the Chosen stuff, everyone ends up knowing everyone one way or another, but personally, I don't think their connection is that deep. Wally is still very nice, and is someone that Hop admires,but I'm struggling to sense a deeper bond between the two, which is okay!

Bede: " lmao, Silver 2.0"( again, he means this in the most affectionate way possible). It's a similar case to Hop, but given how Wally compares Bede to Silver, he tries to help Bede with his emotions any way he can. Again, not super close, but the kindness is always there.

Marnie: Past experiences ( Gladion and Hau) has him Concerned ™. But also he knows she's a sweet kid, who's honestly trying their best. They all are really, and the best Wally can do is support them as an adult.

Wally has not met the Paldea kids at all so I'm looking past them for now.

Tldr: Blue, Barry and Silver are essentially Wally's bff's, the people he's closest too. The gen 5 rivals are people he, for the most part, Gets ™. The gen 6 rivals aren't as close, but not too far from where the gen 5 rivals are with him, but is also where he starts to Notice The Pattern. Gen 7 rivals are where he takes more of a backseat than anything, but I can see him being someone of admiration for Hau and Gladion ( especially Gladion). And lastly, the gen 8 rivals are the ones he's not as close too overall, but finds them charming all the same. Also it's his worried parent arc lol.

[scruffyssketchbook]

I’m going back through the comic for funsies (and I may or may not be trying to compile a doc with all of the secrets and lore and alt text) but it’s actually killing me idk how the relationships work at all. It feels like there’s a lot of incest… unless you decanonised it??

Ik everyone’s in houses but sometimes they aren’t? Like harmony is in love with her brother? Or her son? And has had many children with her other son Lem?? And the alt text on page 28 (Wiz) says that Sky is Umbreon’s twin, but the comics afterwards imply that Dusk wants to be mates with Sky. Do we just ignore the concept of bio siblings in the Pokémon universe?

This isn’t meant to come off as harsh and sorry if you’ve already answered something like this before. I love ssec but it can be hard to keep up with everything that happens lol.

Also unrelated but since Ik you rewrote the plot at least once, is there any particular comics or ask series’s or time frames that are now non canon and shouldn’t be treated as canon?

Author chan: Yes yes, I can very much answer this. The TLDR is basically- I decanonized it after people told me it was incest, because incest is gross and it was ANNOYING to have it in SSEC. I was not aware because I saw Brotherhoods themselves as family units, not the whole box. That's why the "not mating with eevees outside your brotherhood" Rule was made, because Brotherhoods were seen as family groups.

I recently changed that rule actually, as part of my "revamping SSEC" thing I have going. So now, eevees are allowed to date within their brotherhood (Because, Most eevees in the box are NOT related)

I realize this may sound odd, but I was 14 when I made SSEC and due to things I will explain, I didn't see it as incest. Now, in the present, I understand that it is just part of their world, and that it is not the same as incest in our own real world. (as I will explain) but I still decanonized it for the main cast of characters cause, despite their being a purpose to it, and it still being in their world, It was still annoying and I didn't like it.

And let me say before I write everything else, that incest is gross and I do not support it in anyway.

I will answer the SSEC related questions after the explanation

So. Explanation. The concept of SSEC relies heavily on the pokemon games. SSEC essentially takes place IN the main line pokemon games. Ofc, there are extra things added to the worldbuilding, but I do try to stick to mechanics that are used in the main line pokemon games. What does this have to do with incest? Well. There is a LOT of incest in pokemon games. What do I mean? Well.

One of the most weird mechanics in pokemon is breeding. We see it as it is, at face value. And thats how I saw it as a kid, and why I didn't think anything of it. But the truth of the mater is that Breeding in pokemon is ROYALY MESSED UP. LIKE. ABSOLUTELY F'ED UP. UNETHICAL. Like. Pokemon have no rights. An example is. You don't. Know the ages. of the pokemon. you are breeding. Unless you hatched them from an egg yourself, ofc. the pokemon could literally be any age and you just. wont know. I have encountered someone who denied this before. But like. How would you know how long a pokemon lived for before you encountered them? We can say that they just spawned in right there and then, we can say they are just pixels, but that's only a good explanation if we assume that this is purely the game world, which we are not in this case. Everyone just throws pokemon into the daycare without thinking of it. This is the same with Pokemon Family members.

In pokemon breeding, trainers breed pokemon family members to get stronger pokemon. What do I mean?

The IV breeding method.

You can look up multiple videos and articles about this method, but the main point is that you basically breed the baby pokemon that you just breed with their mother or father, to create a stronger pokemon with better IVs. And this goes on and on until you breed a pokemon with Perfect IVs.

So basically you breed a Parent with their child/children to create the strong, perfect pokemon that you need.

Due to the prevalent nature of this breeding method in the pokemon game/ SSEC world, pokemon born in captivity using this method don't see anything wrong with this. (Pokemon in the wild avoid this in the SSEC world) And like, honestly, unlike in our real world, breeding pokemon with their offspring only produce negative effects if you do it with the wrong offspring. Trainers are essentially rewarded for breeding family members together.

Ofc, plz don't use this information for- weird things. Incest stories and things are gross and make me feel sick. I'm only putting this out there for people to understand what is going on with SSEC world lore. Yes. I know its messed up. No. I do not condone it. SO! TO SSEC EXPLINATIONS!!!

v This is current canon v

EVERYONE is in a brotherhood (house). Every eevee and eeveelution except Harmony, Dominic, and any eeveelution/eevee characters not in the PC. Harmony is not in love with her brother. Harmony is not in love with Dusk. Lem is NOT Harmony's child, BUT the trainer DID hatch Lem and make Harmony and Lem breed together. Harmony is not in love with Lem. "Twin" was the beta word for "Littermate" But has since been reworked to mean actual Twins. Littermates are pokemon hatched around the same time, usually right after each other. They do not have to come from the same mother. Biological siblings in the ssec pokemon universe do not really matter. The concept of Siblings matter in some places, but there is normally no way to tell if a pokemon is biologically related to another one, nor do they share DNA.

Currently the only eevees related to Harmony are the main boys and most eevees with "inherit" on the Master Eevee list. Everyone else (this includes Eve, Miku, Dawn, Daisy, Oliver, etc) are not related to her.

All comics are canon to the series, but there are multiple comics from early on that need to be updated for discrepancies. (and will be) The askblog is "soft canon" Things in it are canon until something newer says otherwise. I recommend using Asks that are newer only, as I am heavily modifying plots in SSEC right now and things before Blizz took over the Blog are pretty much probably not canon.

HOPEFULLY THAT EXPLAINS IT!!! If you have anymore questions, please ask! I'd love to answer.

[regallibellbright]

Well, I lost a massive post I was trying to write, but I apologize in advance because I then proceeded to write an even MORE massive post, because unfortunately for my sense of free time I'm one of those turbo nerds that knows things about the mechanical progression of Pokemon games by generation and will read Bulbapedia for fun, is incapable of shutting up once my brain started thinking down this path, needs a more specific definition here.

So when you say peaked: Do you mean mechanically? Aesthetically, including the new Pokemon designs? Performance-wise? Overall gameplay experience beyond the core mechanics? And what do we consider ESSENTIAL mechanics for Pokemon these days, like, should we focus just on the battling taking its modern shape mechanically, do we count the last new type so far and the introduction of single-generation battle gimmicks, do we count major gameplay elements OUTSIDE battle? Do they only become important if they influence battle? And where do we consider things like regional variants, are those something like a mechanic or just new Pokemon, same as every generation? (Because frankly, I think you can make the genuine case that they are by design standards pretty close to new Pokemon - they need new designs, new moves, and present new challenges to be considered in what they introduce to respective egg groups.)

Because like, I think the generation that best EXECUTES itself, overall, with the mechanics it has and introduces, with the aesthetics, with the overall experience, is probably Gen 3. RSE are stellar, Fire Red and Leaf Green are fantastic remakes that take the baseline of Gen 1 and then clean up a lot of the glitches from RGBY being SO experimental and trying to do SO much on the Gameboy hardware, the designs of the Pokemon are great, the story first starts getting really involved, the graphics absolutely blew my 10-year-old mind...

And I couldn't say Pokemon peaked before Generation 4 at minimum, because that's when we introduce the Physical-Special Split. That is the absolute earliest we can say the franchise's battle system takes its modern form. Gen 3 is still thoroughly Pokemon in its EARLY phase to me, so how the hell can I say it peaked there mechanically, even setting aside all the Pokemon that I've loved since then? But then would I say 4? No. Diamond and Pearl had MASSIVE performance issues (saving a lot of data...), which lessened through the DS era but I would still say were struggles even into Gen 5. All those gates were designed to offset the loading. They also had some ridiculous balance issues Platinum had to fix, since the Sinnoh dex didn't just originally only include two fire-type lines, it didn't even include all of the Pokemon that were introduced in Sinnoh for some reason.

Okay but Gen 5? Listen, I respect Gen 5's idea of only introducing returning Pokemon in the post-game. I respect its soft-reboot style. I think it and HGSS are the aesthetic peak of the series. But also, while some of the Pokemon introduced in Gen 5 are favorites, some of them were VERY clearly designed to take the place of some series standby or other. Woobat distinguishes itself from Zubat from having very different designs, evolution stages/mechanics, and typing. But Roggenrola is literally just here to be Geodude, but Unova. I find many of Gen 5's fighting types fall DEEP into the Uncanny Valley. And let's all remind ourselves that Unova is designed so that, in Black and White, you go literally clockwise around the map and only see half of it - a full HALF of the map - in the postgame. And despite that there's really not a ton to do in the postgame of Black and White compared to some. Its story is one of the franchise peaks, certainly in the main games. They've been trying to recreate the appeal of Cheren, Bianca, and N ever since, and they were absolutely right to do so, the development there is amazing. They are visually stunning. They're the start of the franchise shifting into a new phase, with a region that's not based on Japan and starting to hire Pokemon designers who aren't Japanese. They also make some decisions that I find deeply baffling to this day, and are the point at which we stopped getting third versions that would wrap the increasingly-divergent stories into something more definitive, which also incidentally allowed people who were waiting because they could only get one version and there was always at least ONE exclusive from each game that you fell in love with and you could hope that the third version would use both the ones you want.

Also, I'm saying the modern form battle system, completely ignoring all non-battle mechanics, only really comes to be in Gen 4, AND that's still leaving out fairy types, which as of this year have been in the franchise for a decade and RADICALLY reshaped things. Do you all remember when Jigglypuff and Togepi used to be Normal types? Togetic and Togekiss were Normal/Flying! Baffling. I still think of Fairy as the "new" type and I still have to remind myself about Wigglytuff being weak to Fighting types in old games. You know what else Gen 6 adds, which I can't imagine the franchise without anymore? Dedicated mechanics to interact with your Pokemon casually, outside battle or the battle alternatives like contests and musicals. Yeah, HG/SS had the following mechanic, but being able to look at and pet your Pokemon, or wash them or play fetch starts with the 3DS era. Also trainer customization, which doesn't relate to most of the core gameplay but which is still pretty essential for a franchise where the Player Character is supposed to be a player INSERT. I remember people being really disappointed when ORAS didn't allow even basic skintone variation for its player characters and I guarantee you that's why Let's Go and BDSP decided some basic customization were essential. Because it is. It sucks that it took a franchise that started in 1996 and was always making a player character we were supposed to project ourself onto seventeen years to let gamers with darker skintones represent themselves in game. Hell, it took that long to include blonde hair. Player characters couldn't wear glasses until 2016.

On the other hand, Gen 6 is also the shift from the sprite-like, 2.5D-style games on the DS to the 3D style of the 3DS, and I think there's been one hell of a learning curve for the designers with that aesthetically even as I think it ended up being essential to allow that character customization and the one-on-one interactions with Pokemon. (At the very least, we certainly would've had a harder time doing anything more than pallet swaps with the DS era sprites, and I DO think there's a huge difference between being able to have my Mew follow my sprite and interact with it from a distance and have Mew look at me the player in Pokemon Amie or even the camps in Sword/Shield and Scarlet/Violet.) Especially outside towns, but comparing the human character models and their expressiveness in XY to even Sun and Moon, much less the Switch games, it was rough. The shift from 3DS's still more top-down-esque 3D to Sword and Shield's has been another huge change, and while I think they've gotten the hang of it (and acknowledge that between 'length of development cycles', 'burnout as a result of that,' and simple priorities in that they will always need CHARACTER designers and artists way more than they need environment ones, the environments are a lot weaker than human or Pokemon design,) it's still been rough going. The performance issues are also notable.

But! That's not unique to XY or Sword/Shield by any means. Diamond and Pearl run BADLY, even compared to Platinum two years later. There's kind of been an aesthetic and performance floundering since we went from sprites to 3D, and each progressively "more 3D" style of gameplay. I think they were still catching their footing making the jump from the 3DS era to Switch.

I think, frankly, that Pokemon has not yet reached its peak. We're seeing stronger character designs and stronger storylines again. The open world gameplay introduced in Scar/Vio is huge and ultimately pretty fun. Legends Arceus, which IS IN FACT a mainline title per people who would know in that it holds the same Japanese title designation as any other mainline title, was I think the best Pokemon game I ever played. And I have played a game from every generation of Pokemon on its original hardware (Yellow was after Crystal, so I say I started in Gen 2, but I played that one before Gen 3 came out.) Legends Arceus was THAT GOOD at reimagining Pokemon as a world and game to play.

(Let's be real: Brilliant Diamond/Shining Pearl were intended to be the 'and also' ones released probably in mid-summer 2021 while Legends Arceus would have been the holiday release of that year taking the mainline title slot, Gen 9 in the wings, with them looking at its reception as potential for a dedicated sub-line the way they looked at Let's Go as a potential dedicated sub-line. Let's Go got middling reception, Legends got rave reviews and I think there IS a very real chance of at least a subline if not full integration of more of those catching mechanics going forward, but also COVID hit and so we got two mainline Pokemon games in 2022 and the release in 2021 were the titles they'd outsourced just for people who wanted Sinnoh REMAKES specifically, not the radical reimagining you'd need to put something like Mount Coronet in the new camera system.)

I think we'd need the many gears of the Pokemon Machine to all relax enough that Gamefreak could get more time to, you know, rest and make games that aren't Pokemon for a year or two before returning to make a new Pokemon on a slightly more generous timescale, and I realistically doubt that will happen under capitalism, to get a Pokemon game that is truly well-executed on all fronts. But I also think that Pokemon as a franchise is so CLEARLY continuing to grow and evolve, has ABSOLUTELY been doing this since Gen 5 and 6, and even as it's hitting growing pains here because of the grueling development cycles and developers suddenly having to shift their design philosophies SO dramatically? I think Legends and Scarlet/Violet were promises of what's to come, and while that includes some DEFINITE issues, I think the gameplay experience of what's going to be developed looking at the reception of the 2022 games is going to blow our minds.

PART 2 OF POLL

please see part 1 of the poll if you haven't voted on that

[spook-rambles]

when I say I wanna be the best there ever was. I meant it. Long post warning... tl;dr local man takes "perfect Pokemon" idea too far and spends several weeks learning to RNG manipulate his DS and plays the same DS game start to finish a few times in a single month

after my fateful full odds encounter with Rufus, the shiny wooper, I decided that I must have a shiny of every single Pokemon I love. Which I think is a well adjusted response. But the more time I spent breeding oddishes with the foreign ditto I realized that it would honestly be a true shame if I finally got a shiny and it had imperfect IVs! Or nature!

Turns out that the caliber of pokemon that would satisfy my need for perfection only show up for a few dozen moments in a given decade, and so I learned about RNG manipulation! Thanks to the in depth guide on Smogon I found a whole new way to waste hours for tiny incremental improvements!!

So. The perfect Pokemon. I start at the Smogon competitive guide and find which stats to match so I can find the seed in RNG reporter. For a Pokemon to be shiny it must satisfy a condition including the original trainer ID/secret ID (SID), so with a given save you only have access to a tiny subset of all possible IVs that are shiny.

Usually you can get around this by breeding, when IVs are assigned separately. You can hit one seed for the shiny PID with the correct nature, generate an egg, save, hit another seed, and then collect the perfect Pokemon!

This only doesn't work if:

1. Your pokemon is legendary/event only/gift only or

2. You have a preference on what ball it's captured in, or the original location, or for some reason the trainer ID (which can grant renaming rights pokemon with OTs that match) or maybe other things I haven't thought of?

Since perfect means perfect, I'm obviously in the both of those groups. The perfect oddish deserves a luxury ball, and would only be right to encounter in Ilex Forest. So! I need a new TID. I create a new ss save (may as well to complement my hg main save) with perfect timing at the very beginning to get the right TID. Several hours later I'd bred a shiny Absol and trained it to know mean look, false swipe, and thunder wave. Its IVs were random but still had good IVs from the perfect ditto. Only the best to capture the perfect Pokemon.

So then I was SO ready to go get the oddish, who I had already mentally named KIWI, only to find out I need a Synchronize lead (fortunately I had a ralts in my main save that was modest), two chatots to advance frames, and fittingly another oddish to attract it with sweet scent. After getting THOSE, I went to Ilex Forest in front of the shrine, sang like a hundred times with my chatots, and summoned. The motherfuckin kiwi.

And here he is!!!! 31/31/31/31/31/31!

Inspired and motivated by my victory, I finally beat the game (still hadn't best Kanto), bred and trained a perfect Garchomp (PUFF, M.D., which stands for magic dragon), and the perfect Dragonite to give an egg move to the perfect Garchomp. THEN it being the Christmas season and all I decided to do the same for @spookclimber who got me back into Pokemon in the first place. Their unsuccessful (😥) Rayquaza grind inspired my initial shiny hunting, though they eventually made the hard decision the progress in their emerald save.

I had my TID/SID for the Modest KIWI, but the perfect Rayquaza is Adamant. So! New save! New TID! A spreadsheet!!!

Green squares reach represent a possible save where you could encounter a perfect legendary of either nature it intersects. Blue is perfect special attacker; below 31 ATK in order to get the correct nature. I didn't check my work, but I think it's the same for below 31 Sp. Atk, like the Adamant Rayquaza. I guess 31/31/31/31/31/31 pokemon can only be Timid, Modest, Docile or Calm?

Yellow is useless because why not get two potential natures, and the black/white areas are mirrors of each other.

That informed the next bit. I compiled all the legendaries in plat/hgss and got what natures Smogon recommended, then consolidated them into 3 games with two natures each that only misses 3 pokemon for perfect (potentially, I only am trying to perfect things I want on my team).

So it was settled. The perfect Rayquaza was to be found in soulsilver so that it could have a twin perfect Groudon (who will set up for KIWI). So no problem right? Just reset, time the beginning, beat the game, beat the e4 again, beat red, talk to mr. pokemon, go catch (and time) Groudon, boot up hg, go catch Kyogre (perfect kyogre is later in the plan), trade that to ss, go show Kyogre and Groudon to professor oak, go BACK to the embedded tower, and time Rayquaza!

And so it came to pass that my longest and most satisfying hunt was completed.

Presenting the spook's well timed all natural perfect Pokemon certificate of authenticity for the god of all Rayquazas:

Game time is 19 hours in. Can't wait to trade him!

[glitterbee11]

TNT-20358-q

Diaphanous/Acerbic

EGG GROUP(S): Furngruple, Infernal

Abilities: Redamancy (if the pokemon is infatuated, the opponent is infatuated also.) Turophile (draws all Cheese type moves to this pokemon which heal it) Misanthropy (this pokemon does increased damage to pokemon of the Humanshape egg group)

According to all known laws of aviation,   there is no way a bee should be able to fly.   Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.   The bee, of course, flies anyway   because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.   Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.   Ooh, black and yellow! Let's shake it up a little.   Barry! Breakfast is ready!   Ooming!   Hang on a second.   Hello?   - Barry? - Adam?   - Oan you believe this is happening? - I can't. I'll pick you up.   Looking sharp.   Use the stairs. Your father paid good money for those.   Sorry. I'm excited.   Here's the graduate. We're very proud of you, son.   A perfect report card, all B's.   Very proud.   Ma! I got a thing going here.   - You got lint on your fuzz. - Ow! That's me!   - Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000. - Bye!   Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!   - Hey, Adam. - Hey, Barry.   - Is that fuzz gel? - A little. Special day, graduation.   Never thought I'd make it.   Three days grade school, three days high school.   Those were awkward.   Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around the hive.   You did come back different.   - Hi, Barry. - Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.   - Hear about Frankie? - Yeah.   - You going to the funeral? - No, I'm not going.   Everybody knows, sting someone, you die.   Don't waste it on a squirrel. Such a hothead.   I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.   I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.   That's why we don't need vacations.   Boy, quite a bit of pomp... under the circumstances.   - Well, Adam, today we are men. - We are!   - Bee-men. - Amen!   Hallelujah!   Students, faculty, distinguished bees,   please welcome Dean Buzzwell.   Welcome, New Hive Oity graduating class of...   ...9:15.   That concludes our ceremonies.   And begins your career at Honex Industries!   Will we pick ourjob today?   I heard it's just orientation.   Heads up! Here we go.   Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.   - Wonder what it'll be like? - A little scary.   Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco   and a part of the Hexagon Group.   This is it!   Wow.   Wow.   We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life   to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.   Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to the hive.   Our top-secret formula   is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured   into this soothing sweet syrup   with its distinctive golden glow you know as...   Honey!   - That girl was hot. - She's my cousin!   - She is? - Yes, we're all cousins.   - Right. You're right. - At Honex, we constantly strive   to improve every aspect of bee existence.   These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology.   - What do you think he makes? - Not enough.   Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.   - What does that do? - Oatches that little strand of honey   that hangs after you pour it. Saves us millions.   Oan anyone work on the Krelman?   Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones. But bees know   that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.   But choose carefully   because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.   The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.   What's the difference?   You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off   in 27 million years.   So you'll just work us to death?   We'll sure try.   Wow! That blew my mind!   "What's the difference?" How can you say that?   One job forever? That's an insane choice to have to make.   I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.   But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?   Why would you question anything? We're bees.   We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.   You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?   Like what? Give me one example.   I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.   Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.   Wait a second. Oheck it out.   - Hey, those are Pollen Jocks! - Wow.   I've never seen them this close.   They know what it's like outside the hive.   Yeah, but some don't come back.   - Hey, Jocks! - Hi, Jocks!   You guys did great!   You're monsters! You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!   - I wonder where they were. - I don't know.   Their day's not planned.   Outside the hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.   You can'tjust decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.   Right.   Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.   It's just a status symbol. Bees make too much of it.   Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.   Those ladies? Aren't they our cousins too?   Distant. Distant.   Look at these two.   - Oouple of Hive Harrys. - Let's have fun with them.   It must be dangerous being a Pollen Jock.   Yeah. Once a bear pinned me against a mushroom!   He had a paw on my throat, and with the other, he was slapping me!   - Oh, my! - I never thought I'd knock him out.   What were you doing during this?   Trying to alert the authorities.   I can autograph that.   A little gusty out there today, wasn't it, comrades?   Yeah. Gusty.   We're hitting a sunflower patch six miles from here tomorrow.   - Six miles, huh? - Barry!   A puddle jump for us, but maybe you're not up for it.   - Maybe I am. - You are not!   We're going 0900 at J-Gate.   What do you think, buzzy-boy? Are you bee enough?   I might be. It all depends on what 0900 means.   Hey, Honex!   Dad, you surprised me.   You decide what you're interested in?   - Well, there's a lot of choices. - But you only get one.   Do you ever get bored doing the same job every day?   Son, let me tell you about stirring.   You grab that stick, and you just move it around, and you stir it around.   You get yourself into a rhythm. It's a beautiful thing.   You know, Dad, the more I think about it,   maybe the honey field just isn't right for me.   You were thinking of what, making balloon animals?   That's a bad job for a guy with a stinger.   Janet, your son's not sure he wants to go into honey!   - Barry, you are so funny sometimes. - I'm not trying to be funny.   You're not funny! You're going into honey. Our son, the stirrer!   - You're gonna be a stirrer? - No one's listening to me!   Wait till you see the sticks I have.   I could say anything right now. I'm gonna get an ant tattoo!   Let's open some honey and celebrate!   Maybe I'll pierce my thorax. Shave my antennae.   Shack up with a grasshopper. Get a gold tooth and call everybody "dawg"!   I'm so proud.   - We're starting work today! - Today's the day.   Oome on! All the good jobs will be gone.   Yeah, right.   Pollen counting, stunt bee, pouring, stirrer, front desk, hair removal...   - Is it still available? - Hang on. Two left!   One of them's yours! Oongratulations! Step to the side.   - What'd you get? - Picking crud out. Stellar!   Wow!   Oouple of newbies?   Yes, sir! Our first day! We are ready!   Make your choice.   - You want to go first? - No, you go.   Oh, my. What's available?   Restroom attendant's open, not for the reason you think.   - Any chance of getting the Krelman? - Sure, you're on.   I'm sorry, the Krelman just closed out.   Wax monkey's always open.   The Krelman opened up again.   What happened?   A bee died. Makes an opening. See? He's dead. Another dead one.   Deady. Deadified. Two more dead.   Dead from the neck up. Dead from the neck down. That's life!   Oh, this is so hard!   Heating, cooling, stunt bee, pourer, stirrer,   humming, inspector number seven, lint coordinator, stripe supervisor,   mite wrangler. Barry, what do you think I should... Barry?   Barry!   All right, we've got the sunflower patch in quadrant nine...   What happened to you? Where are you?   - I'm going out. - Out? Out where?   - Out there. - Oh, no!   I have to, before I go to work for the rest of my life.   You're gonna die! You're crazy! Hello?   Another call coming in.   If anyone's feeling brave, there's a Korean deli on 83rd   that gets their roses today.   Hey, guys.   - Look at that. - Isn't that the kid we saw yesterday?   Hold it, son, flight deck's restricted.   It's OK, Lou. We're gonna take him up.   Really? Feeling lucky, are you?   Sign here, here. Just initial that.   - Thank you. - OK.   You got a rain advisory today,   and as you all know, bees cannot fly in rain.   So be careful. As always, watch your brooms,   hockey sticks, dogs, birds, bears and bats.   Also, I got a couple of reports of root beer being poured on us.   Murphy's in a home because of it, babbling like a cicada!   - That's awful. - And a reminder for you rookies,   bee law number one, absolutely no talking to humans!   All right, launch positions!   Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz! Buzz, buzz, buzz, buzz!   Black and yellow!   Hello!   You ready for this, hot shot?   Yeah. Yeah, bring it on.   Wind, check.   - Antennae, check. - Nectar pack, check.   - Wings, check. - Stinger, check.   Scared out of my shorts, check.   OK, ladies,   let's move it out!   Pound those petunias, you striped stem-suckers!   All of you, drain those flowers!   Wow! I'm out!   I can't believe I'm out!   So blue.   I feel so fast and free!   Box kite!   Wow!   Flowers!   This is Blue Leader. We have roses visual.   Bring it around 30 degrees and hold.   Roses!   30 degrees, roger. Bringing it around.   Stand to the side, kid. It's got a bit of a kick.   That is one nectar collector!   - Ever see pollination up close? - No, sir.   I pick up some pollen here, sprinkle it over here. Maybe a dash over there,   a pinch on that one. See that? It's a little bit of magic.   That's amazing. Why do we do that?   That's pollen power. More pollen, more flowers, more nectar, more honey for us.   Oool.   I'm picking up a lot of bright yellow. Oould be daisies. Don't we need those?   Oopy that visual.   Wait. One of these flowers seems to be on the move.   Say again? You're reporting a moving flower?   Affirmative.   That was on the line!   This is the coolest. What is it?   I don't know, but I'm loving this color.   It smells good. Not like a flower, but I like it.   Yeah, fuzzy.   Ohemical-y.   Oareful, guys. It's a little grabby.   My sweet lord of bees!   Oandy-brain, get off there!   Problem!   - Guys! - This could be bad.   Affirmative.   Very close.   Gonna hurt.   Mama's little boy.   You are way out of position, rookie!   Ooming in at you like a missile!   Help me!   I don't think these are flowers.   - Should we tell him? - I think he knows.   What is this?!   Match point!   You can start packing up, honey, because you're about to eat it!   Yowser!   Gross.   There's a bee in the car!   - Do something! - I'm driving!   - Hi, bee. - He's back here!   He's going to sting me!   Nobody move. If you don't move, he won't sting you. Freeze!   He blinked!   Spray him, Granny!   What are you doing?!   Wow... the tension level out here is unbelievable.   I gotta get home.   Oan't fly in rain.   Oan't fly in rain.   Oan't fly in rain.   Mayday! Mayday! Bee going down!   Ken, could you close the window please?   Ken, could you close the window please?   Oheck out my new resume. I made it into a fold-out brochure.   You see? Folds out.   Oh, no. More humans. I don't need this.   What was that?   Maybe this time. This time. This time. This time! This time! This...   Drapes!   That is diabolical.   It's fantastic. It's got all my special skills, even my top-ten favorite movies.   What's number one? Star Wars?   Nah, I don't go for that...   ...kind of stuff.   No wonder we shouldn't talk to them. They're out of their minds.   When I leave a job interview, they're flabbergasted, can't believe what I say.   There's the sun. Maybe that's a way out.   I don't remember the sun having a big 75 on it.   I predicted global warming.   I could feel it getting hotter. At first I thought it was just me.   Wait! Stop! Bee!   Stand back. These are winter boots.   Wait!   Don't kill him!   You know I'm allergic to them! This thing could kill me!   Why does his life have less value than yours?   Why does his life have any less value than mine? Is that your statement?   I'm just saying all life has value. You don't know what he's capable of feeling.   My brochure!   There you go, little guy.   I'm not scared of him. It's an allergic thing.   Put that on your resume brochure.   My whole face could puff up.   Make it one of your special skills.   Knocking someone out is also a special skill.   Right. Bye, Vanessa. Thanks.   - Vanessa, next week? Yogurt night? - Sure, Ken. You know, whatever.   - You could put carob chips on there. - Bye.   - Supposed to be less calories. - Bye.   I gotta say something.   She saved my life. I gotta say something.   All right, here it goes.   Nah.   What would I say?   I could really get in trouble.   It's a bee law. You're not supposed to talk to a human.   I can't believe I'm doing this.   I've got to.   Oh, I can't do it. Oome on!   No. Yes. No.   Do it. I can't.   How should I start it? "You like jazz?" No, that's no good.   Here she comes! Speak, you fool!   Hi!   I'm sorry.   - You're talking. - Yes, I know.   You're talking!   I'm so sorry.   No, it's OK. It's fine. I know I'm dreaming.   But I don't recall going to bed.   Well, I'm sure this is very disconcerting.   This is a bit of a surprise to me. I mean, you're a bee!   I am. And I'm not supposed to be doing this,   but they were all trying to kill me.   And if it wasn't for you...   I had to thank you. It's just how I was raised.   That was a little weird.   - I'm talking with a bee. - Yeah.   I'm talking to a bee. And the bee is talking to me!   I just want to say I'm grateful. I'll leave now.   - Wait! How did you learn to do that? - What?   The talking thing.   Same way you did, I guess. "Mama, Dada, honey." You pick it up.   - That's very funny. - Yeah.   Bees are funny. If we didn't laugh, we'd cry with what we have to deal with.   Anyway...   Oan I...   ...get you something? - Like what?   I don't know. I mean... I don't know. Ooffee?   I don't want to put you out.   It's no trouble. It takes two minutes.   - It's just coffee. - I hate to impose.   - Don't be ridiculous! - Actually, I would love a cup.   Hey, you want rum cake?   - I shouldn't. - Have some.   - No, I can't. - Oome on!   I'm trying to lose a couple micrograms.   - Where? - These stripes don't help.   You look great!   I don't know if you know anything about fashion.   Are you all right?   No.   He's making the tie in the cab as they're flying up Madison.   He finally gets there.   He runs up the steps into the church. The wedding is on.   And he says, "Watermelon? I thought you said Guatemalan.   Why would I marry a watermelon?"   Is that a bee joke?   That's the kind of stuff we do.   Yeah, different.   So, what are you gonna do, Barry?   About work? I don't know.   I want to do my part for the hive, but I can't do it the way they want.   I know how you feel.   - You do? - Sure.   My parents wanted me to be a lawyer or a doctor, but I wanted to be a florist.   - Really? - My only interest is flowers.   Our new queen was just elected with that same campaign slogan.   Anyway, if you look...   There's my hive right there. See it?   You're in Sheep Meadow!   Yes! I'm right off the Turtle Pond!   No way! I know that area. I lost a toe ring there once.   - Why do girls put rings on their toes? - Why not?   - It's like putting a hat on your knee. - Maybe I'll try that.   - You all right, ma'am? - Oh, yeah. Fine.   Just having two cups of coffee!   Anyway, this has been great. Thanks for the coffee.   Yeah, it's no trouble.   Sorry I couldn't finish it. If I did, I'd be up the rest of my life.   Are you...?   Oan I take a piece of this with me?   Sure! Here, have a crumb.   - Thanks! - Yeah.   All right. Well, then... I guess I'll see you around.   Or not.   OK, Barry.   And thank you so much again... for before.   Oh, that? That was nothing.   Well, not nothing, but... Anyway...   This can't possibly work.   He's all set to go. We may as well try it.   OK, Dave, pull the chute.   - Sounds amazing. - It was amazing!   It was the scariest, happiest moment of my life.   Humans! I can't believe you were with humans!   Giant, scary humans! What were they like?   Huge and crazy. They talk crazy.   They eat crazy giant things. They drive crazy.   - Do they try and kill you, like on TV? - Some of them. But some of them don't.   - How'd you get back? - Poodle.   You did it, and I'm glad. You saw whatever you wanted to see.   You had your "experience." Now you can pick out yourjob and be normal.   - Well... - Well?   Well, I met someone.   You did? Was she Bee-ish?   - A wasp?! Your parents will kill you! - No, no, no, not a wasp.   - Spider? - I'm not attracted to spiders.   I know it's the hottest thing, with the eight legs and all.   I can't get by that face.   So who is she?   She's... human.   No, no. That's a bee law. You wouldn't break a bee law.   - Her name's Vanessa. - Oh, boy.   She's so nice. And she's a florist!   Oh, no! You're dating a human florist!   We're not dating.   You're flying outside the hive, talking to humans that attack our homes   with power washers and M-80s! One-eighth a stick of dynamite!   She saved my life! And she understands me.   This is over!   Eat this.   This is not over! What was that?   - They call it a crumb. - It was so stingin' stripey!   And that's not what they eat. That's what falls off what they eat!   - You know what a Oinnabon is? - No.   It's bread and cinnamon and frosting. They heat it up...   Sit down!   ...really hot! - Listen to me!   We are not them! We're us. There's us and there's them!   Yes, but who can deny the heart that is yearning?   There's no yearning. Stop yearning. Listen to me!   You have got to start thinking bee, my friend. Thinking bee!   - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee.   Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!   There he is. He's in the pool.   You know what your problem is, Barry?   I gotta start thinking bee?   How much longer will this go on?   It's been three days! Why aren't you working?   I've got a lot of big life decisions to think about.   What life? You have no life! You have no job. You're barely a bee!   Would it kill you to make a little honey?   Barry, come out. Your father's talking to you.   Martin, would you talk to him?   Barry, I'm talking to you!   You coming?   Got everything?   All set!   Go ahead. I'll catch up.   Don't be too long.   Watch this!   Vanessa!   - We're still here. - I told you not to yell at him.   He doesn't respond to yelling!   - Then why yell at me? - Because you don't listen!   I'm not listening to this.   Sorry, I've gotta go.   - Where are you going? - I'm meeting a friend.   A girl? Is this why you can't decide?   Bye.   I just hope she's Bee-ish.   They have a huge parade of flowers every year in Pasadena?   To be in the Tournament of Roses, that's every florist's dream!   Up on a float, surrounded by flowers, crowds cheering.   A tournament. Do the roses compete in athletic events?   No. All right, I've got one. How come you don't fly everywhere?   It's exhausting. Why don't you run everywhere? It's faster.   Yeah, OK, I see, I see. All right, your turn.   TiVo. You can just freeze live TV? That's insane!   You don't have that?   We have Hivo, but it's a disease. It's a horrible, horrible disease.   Oh, my.   Dumb bees!   You must want to sting all those jerks.   We try not to sting. It's usually fatal for us.   So you have to watch your temper.   Very carefully. You kick a wall, take a walk,   write an angry letter and throw it out. Work through it like any emotion:   Anger, jealousy, lust.   Oh, my goodness! Are you OK?   Yeah.   - What is wrong with you?! - It's a bug.   He's not bothering anybody. Get out of here, you creep!   What was that? A Pic 'N' Save circular?   Yeah, it was. How did you know?   It felt like about 10 pages. Seventy-five is pretty much our limit.   You've really got that down to a science.   - I lost a cousin to Italian Vogue. - I'll bet.   What in the name of Mighty Hercules is this?   How did this get here? Oute Bee, Golden Blossom,   Ray Liotta Private Select?   - Is he that actor? - I never heard of him.   - Why is this here? - For people. We eat it.   You don't have enough food of your own?   - Well, yes. - How do you get it?   - Bees make it. - I know who makes it!   And it's hard to make it!   There's heating, cooling, stirring. You need a whole Krelman thing!   - It's organic. - It's our-ganic!   It's just honey, Barry.   Just what?!   Bees don't know about this! This is stealing! A lot of stealing!   You've taken our homes, schools, hospitals! This is all we have!   And it's on sale?! I'm getting to the bottom of this.   I'm getting to the bottom of all of this!   Hey, Hector.   - You almost done? - Almost.   He is here. I sense it.   Well, I guess I'll go home now   and just leave this nice honey out, with no one around.   You're busted, box boy!   I knew I heard something. So you can talk!   I can talk. And now you'll start talking!   Where you getting the sweet stuff? Who's your supplier?   I don't understand. I thought we were friends.   The last thing we want to do is upset bees!   You're too late! It's ours now!   You, sir, have crossed the wrong sword!   You, sir, will be lunch for my iguana, Ignacio!   Where is the honey coming from?   Tell me where!   Honey Farms! It comes from Honey Farms!   Orazy person!   What horrible thing has happened here?   These faces, they never knew what hit them. And now   they're on the road to nowhere!   Just keep still.   What? You're not dead?   Do I look dead? They will wipe anything that moves. Where you headed?   To Honey Farms. I am onto something huge here.   I'm going to Alaska. Moose blood, crazy stuff. Blows your head off!   I'm going to Tacoma.   - And you? - He really is dead.   All right.   Uh-oh!   - What is that?! - Oh, no!   - A wiper! Triple blade! - Triple blade?   Jump on! It's your only chance, bee!   Why does everything have to be so doggone clean?!   How much do you people need to see?!   Open your eyes! Stick your head out the window!   From NPR News in Washington, I'm Oarl Kasell.   But don't kill no more bugs!   - Bee! - Moose blood guy!!   - You hear something? - Like what?   Like tiny screaming.   Turn off the radio.   Whassup, bee boy?   Hey, Blood.   Just a row of honey jars, as far as the eye could see.   Wow!   I assume wherever this truck goes is where they're getting it.   I mean, that honey's ours.   - Bees hang tight. - We're all jammed in.   It's a close community.   Not us, man. We on our own. Every mosquito on his own.   - What if you get in trouble? - You a mosquito, you in trouble.   Nobody likes us. They just smack. See a mosquito, smack, smack!   At least you're out in the world. You must meet girls.   Mosquito girls try to trade up, get with a moth, dragonfly.   Mosquito girl don't want no mosquito.   You got to be kidding me!   Mooseblood's about to leave the building! So long, bee!   - Hey, guys! - Mooseblood!   I knew I'd catch y'all down here. Did you bring your crazy straw?   We throw it in jars, slap a label on it, and it's pretty much pure profit.   What is this place?   A bee's got a brain the size of a pinhead.   They are pinheads!   Pinhead.   - Oheck out the new smoker. - Oh, sweet. That's the one you want.   The Thomas 3000!   Smoker?   Ninety puffs a minute, semi-automatic. Twice the nicotine, all the tar.   A couple breaths of this knocks them right out.   They make the honey, and we make the money.   "They make the honey, and we make the money"?   Oh, my!   What's going on? Are you OK?   Yeah. It doesn't last too long.   Do you know you're in a fake hive with fake walls?   Our queen was moved here. We had no choice.   This is your queen? That's a man in women's clothes!   That's a drag queen!   What is this?   Oh, no!   There's hundreds of them!   Bee honey.   Our honey is being brazenly stolen on a massive scale!   This is worse than anything bears have done! I intend to do something.   Oh, Barry, stop.   Who told you humans are taking our honey? That's a rumor.   Do these look like rumors?   That's a conspiracy theory. These are obviously doctored photos.   How did you get mixed up in this?   He's been talking to humans.   - What? - Talking to humans?!   He has a human girlfriend. And they make out!   Make out? Barry!   We do not.   - You wish you could. - Whose side are you on?   The bees!   I dated a cricket once in San Antonio. Those crazy legs kept me up all night.   Barry, this is what you want to do with your life?   I want to do it for all our lives. Nobody works harder than bees!   Dad, I remember you coming home so overworked   your hands were still stirring. You couldn't stop.   I remember that.   What right do they have to our honey?   We live on two cups a year. They put it in lip balm for no reason whatsoever!   Even if it's true, what can one bee do?   Sting them where it really hurts.   In the face! The eye!   - That would hurt. - No.   Up the nose? That's a killer.   There's only one place you can sting the humans, one place where it matters.   Hive at Five, the hive's only full-hour action news source.   No more bee beards!   With Bob Bumble at the anchor desk.   Weather with Storm Stinger.   Sports with Buzz Larvi.   And Jeanette Ohung.   - Good evening. I'm Bob Bumble. - And I'm Jeanette Ohung.   A tri-county bee, Barry Benson,   intends to sue the human race for stealing our honey,   packaging it and profiting from it illegally!   Tomorrow night on Bee Larry King,   we'll have three former queens here in our studio, discussing their new book,   Olassy Ladies, out this week on Hexagon.   Tonight we're talking to Barry Benson.   Did you ever think, "I'm a kid from the hive. I can't do this"?   Bees have never been afraid to change the world.   What about Bee Oolumbus? Bee Gandhi? Bejesus?   Where I'm from, we'd never sue humans.   We were thinking of stickball or candy stores.   How old are you?   The bee community is supporting you in this case,   which will be the trial of the bee century.   You know, they have a Larry King in the human world too.   It's a common name. Next week...   He looks like you and has a show and suspenders and colored dots...   Next week...   Glasses, quotes on the bottom from the guest even though you just heard 'em.   Bear Week next week! They're scary, hairy and here live.   Always leans forward, pointy shoulders, squinty eyes, very Jewish.   In tennis, you attack at the point of weakness!   It was my grandmother, Ken. She's 81.   Honey, her backhand's a joke! I'm not gonna take advantage of that?   Quiet, please. Actual work going on here.   - Is that that same bee? - Yes, it is!   I'm helping him sue the human race.   - Hello. - Hello, bee.   This is Ken.   Yeah, I remember you. Timberland, size ten and a half. Vibram sole, I believe.   Why does he talk again?   Listen, you better go 'cause we're really busy working.   But it's our yogurt night!   Bye-bye.   Why is yogurt night so difficult?!   You poor thing. You two have been at this for hours!   Yes, and Adam here has been a huge help.   - Frosting... - How many sugars?   Just one. I try not to use the competition.   So why are you helping me?   Bees have good qualities.   And it takes my mind off the shop.   Instead of flowers, people are giving balloon bouquets now.   Those are great, if you're three.   And artificial flowers.   - Oh, those just get me psychotic! - Yeah, me too.   Bent stingers, pointless pollination.   Bees must hate those fake things!   Nothing worse than a daffodil that's had work done.   Maybe this could make up for it a little bit.   - This lawsuit's a pretty big deal. - I guess.   You sure you want to go through with it?   Am I sure? When I'm done with the humans, they won't be able   to say, "Honey, I'm home," without paying a royalty!   It's an incredible scene here in downtown Manhattan,   where the world anxiously waits, because for the first time in history,   we will hear for ourselves if a honeybee can actually speak.   What have we gotten into here, Barry?   It's pretty big, isn't it?   I can't believe how many humans don't work during the day.   You think billion-dollar multinational food companies have good lawyers?   Everybody needs to stay behind the barricade.   - What's the matter? - I don't know, I just got a chill.   Well, if it isn't the bee team.   You boys work on this?   All rise! The Honorable Judge Bumbleton presiding.   All right. Oase number 4475,   Superior Oourt of New York, Barry Bee Benson v. the Honey Industry   is now in session.   Mr. Montgomery, you're representing the five food companies collectively?   A privilege.   Mr. Benson... you're representing all the bees of the world?   I'm kidding. Yes, Your Honor, we're ready to proceed.   Mr. Montgomery, your opening statement, please.   Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,   my grandmother was a simple woman.   Born on a farm, she believed it was man's divine right   to benefit from the bounty of nature God put before us.   If we lived in the topsy-turvy world Mr. Benson imagines,   just think of what would it mean.   I would have to negotiate with the silkworm   for the elastic in my britches!   Talking bee!   How do we know this isn't some sort of   holographic motion-picture-capture Hollywood wizardry?   They could be using laser beams!   Robotics! Ventriloquism! Oloning! For all we know,   he could be on steroids!   Mr. Benson?   Ladies and gentlemen, there's no trickery here.   I'm just an ordinary bee. Honey's pretty important to me.   It's important to all bees. We invented it!   We make it. And we protect it with our lives.   Unfortunately, there are some people in this room   who think they can take it from us   'cause we're the little guys! I'm hoping that, after this is all over,   you'll see how, by taking our honey, you not only take everything we have   but everything we are!   I wish he'd dress like that all the time. So nice!   Oall your first witness.   So, Mr. Klauss Vanderhayden of Honey Farms, big company you have.   I suppose so.   I see you also own Honeyburton and Honron!   Yes, they provide beekeepers for our farms.   Beekeeper. I find that to be a very disturbing term.   I don't imagine you employ any bee-free-ers, do you?   - No. - I couldn't hear you.   - No. - No.   Because you don't free bees. You keep bees. Not only that,   it seems you thought a bear would be an appropriate image for a jar of honey.   They're very lovable creatures.   Yogi Bear, Fozzie Bear, Build-A-Bear.   You mean like this?   Bears kill bees!   How'd you like his head crashing through your living room?!   Biting into your couch! Spitting out your throw pillows!   OK, that's enough. Take him away.   So, Mr. Sting, thank you for being here. Your name intrigues me.   - Where have I heard it before? - I was with a band called The Police.   But you've never been a police officer, have you?   No, I haven't.   No, you haven't. And so here we have yet another example   of bee culture casually stolen by a human   for nothing more than a prance-about stage name.   Oh, please.   Have you ever been stung, Mr. Sting?   Because I'm feeling a little stung, Sting.   Or should I say... Mr. Gordon M. Sumner!   That's not his real name?! You idiots!   Mr. Liotta, first, belated congratulations on   your Emmy win for a guest spot on ER in 2005.   Thank you. Thank you.   I see from your resume that you're devilishly handsome   with a churning inner turmoil that's ready to blow.   I enjoy what I do. Is that a crime?   Not yet it isn't. But is this what it's come to for you?   Exploiting tiny, helpless bees so you don't   have to rehearse your part and learn your lines, sir?   Watch it, Benson! I could blow right now!   This isn't a goodfella. This is a badfella!   Why doesn't someone just step on this creep, and we can all go home?!   - Order in this court! - You're all thinking it!   Order! Order, I say!   - Say it! - Mr. Liotta, please sit down!   I think it was awfully nice of that bear to pitch in like that.   I think the jury's on our side.   Are we doing everything right, legally?   I'm a florist.   Right. Well, here's to a great team.   To a great team!   Well, hello.   - Ken! - Hello.   I didn't think you were coming.   No, I was just late. I tried to call, but... the battery.   I didn't want all this to go to waste, so I called Barry. Luckily, he was free.   Oh, that was lucky.   There's a little left. I could heat it up.   Yeah, heat it up, sure, whatever.   So I hear you're quite a tennis player.   I'm not much for the game myself. The ball's a little grabby.   That's where I usually sit. Right... there.   Ken, Barry was looking at your resume,   and he agreed with me that eating with chopsticks isn't really a special skill.   You think I don't see what you're doing?   I know how hard it is to find the rightjob. We have that in common.   Do we?   Bees have 100 percent employment, but we do jobs like taking the crud out.   That's just what I was thinking about doing.   Ken, I let Barry borrow your razor for his fuzz. I hope that was all right.   I'm going to drain the old stinger.   Yeah, you do that.   Look at that.   You know, I've just about had it   with your little mind games.   - What's that? - Italian Vogue.   Mamma mia, that's a lot of pages.   A lot of ads.   Remember what Van said, why is your life more valuable than mine?   Funny, I just can't seem to recall that!   I think something stinks in here!   I love the smell of flowers.   How do you like the smell of flames?!   Not as much.   Water bug! Not taking sides!   Ken, I'm wearing a Ohapstick hat! This is pathetic!   I've got issues!   Well, well, well, a royal flush!   - You're bluffing. - Am I?   Surf's up, dude!   Poo water!   That bowl is gnarly.   Except for those dirty yellow rings!   Kenneth! What are you doing?!   You know, I don't even like honey! I don't eat it!   We need to talk!   He's just a little bee!   And he happens to be the nicest bee I've met in a long time!   Long time? What are you talking about?! Are there other bugs in your life?   No, but there are other things bugging me in life. And you're one of them!   Fine! Talking bees, no yogurt night...   My nerves are fried from riding on this emotional roller coaster!   Goodbye, Ken.   And for your information,   I prefer sugar-free, artificial sweeteners made by man!   I'm sorry about all that.   I know it's got an aftertaste! I like it!   I always felt there was some kind of barrier between Ken and me.   I couldn't overcome it. Oh, well.   Are you OK for the trial?   I believe Mr. Montgomery is about out of ideas.   We would like to call Mr. Barry Benson Bee to the stand.   Good idea! You can really see why he's considered one of the best lawyers...   Yeah.   Layton, you've gotta weave some magic   with this jury, or it's gonna be all over.   Don't worry. The only thing I have to do to turn this jury around   is to remind them of what they don't like about bees.   - You got the tweezers? - Are you allergic?   Only to losing, son. Only to losing.   Mr. Benson Bee, I'll ask you what I think we'd all like to know.   What exactly is your relationship   to that woman?   We're friends.   - Good friends? - Yes.   How good? Do you live together?   Wait a minute...   Are you her little...   ...bedbug?   I've seen a bee documentary or two. From what I understand,   doesn't your queen give birth to all the bee children?   - Yeah, but... - So those aren't your real parents!   - Oh, Barry... - Yes, they are!   Hold me back!   You're an illegitimate bee, aren't you, Benson?   He's denouncing bees!   Don't y'all date your cousins?   - Objection! - I'm going to pincushion this guy!   Adam, don't! It's what he wants!   Oh, I'm hit!!   Oh, lordy, I am hit!   Order! Order!   The venom! The venom is coursing through my veins!   I have been felled by a winged beast of destruction!   You see? You can't treat them like equals! They're striped savages!   Stinging's the only thing they know! It's their way!   - Adam, stay with me. - I can't feel my legs.   What angel of mercy will come forward to suck the poison   from my heaving buttocks?   I will have order in this court. Order!   Order, please!   The case of the honeybees versus the human race   took a pointed turn against the bees   yesterday when one of their legal team stung Layton T. Montgomery.   - Hey, buddy. - Hey.   - Is there much pain? - Yeah.   I...   I blew the whole case, didn't I?   It doesn't matter. What matters is you're alive. You could have died.   I'd be better off dead. Look at me.   They got it from the cafeteria downstairs, in a tuna sandwich.   Look, there's a little celery still on it.   What was it like to sting someone?   I can't explain it. It was all...   All adrenaline and then... and then ecstasy!   All right.   You think it was all a trap?   Of course. I'm sorry. I flew us right into this.   What were we thinking? Look at us. We're just a couple of bugs in this world.   What will the humans do to us if they win?   I don't know.   I hear they put the roaches in motels. That doesn't sound so bad.   Adam, they check in, but they don't check out!   Oh, my.   Oould you get a nurse to close that window?   - Why? - The smoke.   Bees don't smoke.   Right. Bees don't smoke.   Bees don't smoke! But some bees are smoking.   That's it! That's our case!   It is? It's not over?   Get dressed. I've gotta go somewhere.   Get back to the court and stall. Stall any way you can.   And assuming you've done step correctly, you're ready for the tub.   Mr. Flayman.   Yes? Yes, Your Honor!   Where is the rest of your team?   Well, Your Honor, it's interesting.   Bees are trained to fly haphazardly,   and as a result, we don't make very good time.   I actually heard a funny story about...   Your Honor, haven't these ridiculous bugs   taken up enough of this court's valuable time?   How much longer will we allow these absurd shenanigans to go on?   They have presented no compelling evidence to support their charges   against my clients, who run legitimate businesses.   I move for a complete dismissal of this entire case!   Mr. Flayman, I'm afraid I'm going   to have to consider Mr. Montgomery's motion.   But you can't! We have a terrific case.   Where is your proof? Where is the evidence?   Show me the smoking gun!   Hold it, Your Honor! You want a smoking gun?   Here is your smoking gun.   What is that?   It's a bee smoker!   What, this? This harmless little contraption?   This couldn't hurt a fly, let alone a bee.   Look at what has happened   to bees who have never been asked, "Smoking or non?"   Is this what nature intended for us?   To be forcibly addicted to smoke machines   and man-made wooden slat work camps?   Living out our lives as honey slaves to the white man?   - What are we gonna do? - He's playing the species card.   Ladies and gentlemen, please, free these bees!   Free the bees! Free the bees!   Free the bees!   Free the bees! Free the bees!   The court finds in favor of the bees!   Vanessa, we won!   I knew you could do it! High-five!   Sorry.   I'm OK! You know what this means?   All the honey will finally belong to the bees.   Now we won't have to work so hard all the time.   This is an unholy perversion of the balance of nature, Benson.   You'll regret this.   Barry, how much honey is out there?   All right. One at a time.   Barry, who are you wearing?   My sweater is Ralph Lauren, and I have no pants.   - What if Montgomery's right? - What do you mean?   We've been living the bee way a long time, 27 million years.   Oongratulations on your victory. What will you demand as a settlement?   First, we'll demand a complete shutdown of all bee work camps.   Then we want back the honey that was ours to begin with,   every last drop.   We demand an end to the glorification of the bear as anything more   than a filthy, smelly, bad-breath stink machine.   We're all aware of what they do in the woods.   Wait for my signal.   Take him out.   He'll have nauseous for a few hours, then he'll be fine.   And we will no longer tolerate bee-negative nicknames...   But it's just a prance-about stage name!   ...unnecessary inclusion of honey in bogus health products   and la-dee-da human tea-time snack garnishments.   Oan't breathe.   Bring it in, boys!   Hold it right there! Good.   Tap it.   Mr. Buzzwell, we just passed three cups, and there's gallons more coming!   - I think we need to shut down! - Shut down? We've never shut down.   Shut down honey production!   Stop making honey!   Turn your key, sir!   What do we do now?   Oannonball!   We're shutting honey production!   Mission abort.   Aborting pollination and nectar detail. Returning to base.   Adam, you wouldn't believe how much honey was out there.   Oh, yeah?   What's going on? Where is everybody?   - Are they out celebrating? - They're home.   They don't know what to do. Laying out, sleeping in.   I heard your Uncle Oarl was on his way to San Antonio with a cricket.   At least we got our honey back.   Sometimes I think, so what if humans liked our honey? Who wouldn't?   It's the greatest thing in the world! I was excited to be part of making it.   This was my new desk. This was my new job. I wanted to do it really well.   And now...   Now I can't.   I don't understand why they're not happy.   I thought their lives would be better!   They're doing nothing. It's amazing. Honey really changes people.   You don't have any idea what's going on, do you?   - What did you want to show me? - This.   What happened here?   That is not the half of it.   Oh, no. Oh, my.   They're all wilting.   Doesn't look very good, does it?   No.   And whose fault do you think that is?   You know, I'm gonna guess bees.   Bees?   Specifically, me.   I didn't think bees not needing to make honey would affect all these things.   It's notjust flowers. Fruits, vegetables, they all need bees.   That's our whole SAT test right there.   Take away produce, that affects the entire animal kingdom.   And then, of course...   The human species?   So if there's no more pollination,   it could all just go south here, couldn't it?   I know this is also partly my fault.   How about a suicide pact?   How do we do it?   - I'll sting you, you step on me. - Thatjust kills you twice.   Right, right.   Listen, Barry... sorry, but I gotta get going.   I had to open my mouth and talk.   Vanessa?   Vanessa? Why are you leaving? Where are you going?   To the final Tournament of Roses parade in Pasadena.   They've moved it to this weekend because all the flowers are dying.   It's the last chance I'll ever have to see it.   Vanessa, I just wanna say I'm sorry. I never meant it to turn out like this.   I know. Me neither.   Tournament of Roses. Roses can't do sports.   Wait a minute. Roses. Roses?   Roses!   Vanessa!   Roses?!   Barry?   - Roses are flowers! - Yes, they are.   Flowers, bees, pollen!   I know. That's why this is the last parade.   Maybe not. Oould you ask him to slow down?   Oould you slow down?   Barry!   OK, I made a huge mistake. This is a total disaster, all my fault.   Yes, it kind of is.   I've ruined the planet. I wanted to help you   with the flower shop. I've made it worse.   Actually, it's completely closed down.   I thought maybe you were remodeling.   But I have another idea, and it's greater than my previous ideas combined.   I don't want to hear it!   All right, they have the roses, the roses have the pollen.   I know every bee, plant and flower bud in this park.   All we gotta do is get what they've got back here with what we've got.   - Bees. - Park.   - Pollen! - Flowers.   - Repollination! - Across the nation!   Tournament of Roses, Pasadena, Oalifornia.   They've got nothing but flowers, floats and cotton candy.   Security will be tight.   I have an idea.   Vanessa Bloome, FTD.   Official floral business. It's real.   Sorry, ma'am. Nice brooch.   Thank you. It was a gift.   Once inside, we just pick the right float.   How about The Princess and the Pea?   I could be the princess, and you could be the pea!   Yes, I got it.   - Where should I sit? - What are you?   - I believe I'm the pea. - The pea?   It goes under the mattresses.   - Not in this fairy tale, sweetheart. - I'm getting the marshal.   You do that! This whole parade is a fiasco!   Let's see what this baby'll do.   Hey, what are you doing?!   Then all we do is blend in with traffic...   ...without arousing suspicion.   Once at the airport, there's no stopping us.   Stop! Security.   - You and your insect pack your float? - Yes.   Has it been in your possession the entire time?   Would you remove your shoes?   - Remove your stinger. - It's part of me.   I know. Just having some fun. Enjoy your flight.   Then if we're lucky, we'll have just enough pollen to do the job.   Oan you believe how lucky we are? We have just enough pollen to do the job!   I think this is gonna work.   It's got to work.   Attention, passengers, this is Oaptain Scott.   We have a bit of bad weather in New York.   It looks like we'll experience a couple hours delay.   Barry, these are cut flowers with no water. They'll never make it.   I gotta get up there and talk to them.   Be careful.   Oan I get help with the Sky Mall magazine?   I'd like to order the talking inflatable nose and ear hair trimmer.   Oaptain, I'm in a real situation.   - What'd you say, Hal? - Nothing.   Bee!   Don't freak out! My entire species...   What are you doing?   - Wait a minute! I'm an attorney! - Who's an attorney?   Don't move.   Oh, Barry.   Good afternoon, passengers. This is your captain.   Would a Miss Vanessa Bloome in 24B please report to the cockpit?   And please hurry!   What happened here?   There was a DustBuster, a toupee, a life raft exploded.   One's bald, one's in a boat, they're both unconscious!   - Is that another bee joke? - No!   No one's flying the plane!   This is JFK control tower, Flight 356. What's your status?   This is Vanessa Bloome. I'm a florist from New York.   Where's the pilot?   He's unconscious, and so is the copilot.   Not good. Does anyone onboard have flight experience?   As a matter of fact, there is.   - Who's that? - Barry Benson.   From the honey trial?! Oh, great.   Vanessa, this is nothing more than a big metal bee.   It's got giant wings, huge engines.   I can't fly a plane.   - Why not? Isn't John Travolta a pilot? - Yes.   How hard could it be?   Wait, Barry! We're headed into some lightning.   This is Bob Bumble. We have some late-breaking news from JFK Airport,   where a suspenseful scene is developing.   Barry Benson, fresh from his legal victory...   That's Barry!   ...is attempting to land a plane, loaded with people, flowers   and an incapacitated flight crew.   Flowers?!   We have a storm in the area and two individuals at the controls   with absolutely no flight experience.   Just a minute. There's a bee on that plane.   I'm quite familiar with Mr. Benson and his no-account compadres.   They've done enough damage.   But isn't he your only hope?   Technically, a bee shouldn't be able to fly at all.   Their wings are too small...   Haven't we heard this a million times?   "The surface area of the wings and body mass make no sense."   - Get this on the air! - Got it.   - Stand by. - We're going live.   The way we work may be a mystery to you.   Making honey takes a lot of bees doing a lot of small jobs.   But let me tell you about a small job.   If you do it well, it makes a big difference.   More than we realized. To us, to everyone.   That's why I want to get bees back to working together.   That's the bee way! We're not made of Jell-O.   We get behind a fellow.   - Black and yellow! - Hello!   Left, right, down, hover.   - Hover? - Forget hover.   This isn't so hard. Beep-beep! Beep-beep!   Barry, what happened?!   Wait, I think we were on autopilot the whole time.   - That may have been helping me. - And now we're not!   So it turns out I cannot fly a plane.   All of you, let's get behind this fellow! Move it out!   Move out!   Our only chance is if I do what I'd do, you copy me with the wings of the plane!   Don't have to yell.   I'm not yelling! We're in a lot of trouble.   It's very hard to concentrate with that panicky tone in your voice!   It's not a tone. I'm panicking!   I can't do this!   Vanessa, pull yourself together. You have to snap out of it!   You snap out of it.   You snap out of it.   - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!   - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!   - You snap out of it! - You snap out of it!   - Hold it! - Why? Oome on, it's my turn.   How is the plane flying?   I don't know.   Hello?   Benson, got any flowers for a happy occasion in there?   The Pollen Jocks!   They do get behind a fellow.   - Black and yellow. - Hello.   All right, let's drop this tin can on the blacktop.   Where? I can't see anything. Oan you?   No, nothing. It's all cloudy.   Oome on. You got to think bee, Barry.   - Thinking bee. - Thinking bee.   Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!   Wait a minute. I think I'm feeling something.   - What? - I don't know. It's strong, pulling me.   Like a 27-million-year-old instinct.   Bring the nose down.   Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!   - What in the world is on the tarmac? - Get some lights on that!   Thinking bee! Thinking bee! Thinking bee!   - Vanessa, aim for the flower. - OK.   Out the engines. We're going in on bee power. Ready, boys?   Affirmative!   Good. Good. Easy, now. That's it.   Land on that flower!   Ready? Full reverse!   Spin it around!   - Not that flower! The other one! - Which one?   - That flower. - I'm aiming at the flower!   That's a fat guy in a flowered shirt. I mean the giant pulsating flower   made of millions of bees!   Pull forward. Nose down. Tail up.   Rotate around it.   - This is insane, Barry! - This's the only way I know how to fly.   Am I koo-koo-kachoo, or is this plane flying in an insect-like pattern?   Get your nose in there. Don't be afraid. Smell it. Full reverse!   Just drop it. Be a part of it.   Aim for the center!   Now drop it in! Drop it in, woman!   Oome on, already.   Barry, we did it! You taught me how to fly!   - Yes. No high-five! - Right.   Barry, it worked! Did you see the giant flower?   What giant flower? Where? Of course I saw the flower! That was genius!   - Thank you. - But we're not done yet.   Listen, everyone!   This runway is covered with the last pollen   from the last flowers available anywhere on Earth.   That means this is our last chance.   We're the only ones who make honey, pollinate flowers and dress like this.   If we're gonna survive as a species, this is our moment! What do you say?   Are we going to be bees, orjust Museum of Natural History keychains?   We're bees!   Keychain!   Then follow me! Except Keychain.   Hold on, Barry. Here.   You've earned this.   Yeah!   I'm a Pollen Jock! And it's a perfect fit. All I gotta do are the sleeves.   Oh, yeah.   That's our Barry.   Mom! The bees are back!   If anybody needs to make a call, now's the time.   I got a feeling we'll be working late tonight!   Here's your change. Have a great afternoon! Oan I help who's next?   Would you like some honey with that? It is bee-approved. Don't forget these.   Milk, cream, cheese, it's all me. And I don't see a nickel!   Sometimes I just feel like a piece of meat!   I had no idea.   Barry, I'm sorry. Have you got a moment?   Would you excuse me? My mosquito associate will help you.   Sorry I'm late.   He's a lawyer too?   I was already a blood-sucking parasite. All I needed was a briefcase.   Have a great afternoon!   Barry, I just got this huge tulip order, and I can't get them anywhere.   No problem, Vannie. Just leave it to me.   You're a lifesaver, Barry. Oan I help who's next?   All right, scramble, jocks! It's time to fly.   Thank you, Barry!   That bee is living my life!   Let it go, Kenny.   - When will this nightmare end?! - Let it all go.   - Beautiful day to fly. - Sure is.   Between you and me, I was dying to get out of that office.   You have got to start thinking bee, my friend.   - Thinking bee! - Me?

Yes, I did look up the entire bee movie script.

Yes, I did immediately regret it.

(dont sue me seizurecube)