#I didn't know I had a small essay in me but honest to God all the main characters in this play are fucking fascinating.

[theimpossiblescheme]

What I find really interesting about de Guiche as a character is how he acts as a foil to Cyrano--specifically, their respective relationships with high society.

One of the first things we learn about de Guiche is that he's from Gascony, just like Cyrano. Oh, but the aristocracy doesn't hold it against him. He's not like those Gascons--he might be "ostentatious" compared to proper Parisian nobility, but he's also "cold and calculating" and "certain to succeed." We overhear two Marquises at the theater gossiping about him, and one of them goes over to compliment his ribbons... a decoration Cyrano pointedly refuses to wear. We get the impression that, unlike Cyrano's genuine pride in his Gascon heritage, de Guiche has been forced to suppress it in order to "prove himself worthy" of his high position in life. He's Cardinal Richelieu's nephew by marriage, after all, so he's got a lot of eyes on him at all times, and he certainly acts like it. It seems only appropriate that he's the character who offers to present Cyrano's work to the Cardinal, if only he'll rewrite some lines to make it more "presentable." That's what de Guiche has been doing to himself for years.

And yet, eventually we see de Guiche loosen up, and it happens while he's with the Gascony cadets at Arras. He starts out with nothing but disdain for them and lording his superiority over them, but by the end of Act Four he's offering to fight alongside them. We also learn that de Guiche has been suppressing his old accent for God knows how long, and the cadets gleefully point out that it's coming back after he's consented to eat with them before the battle. Once de Guiche stops hiding who he is and acting like he's better for it, they welcome him with open arms. And fourteen years later, he's still on friendly terms with Roxanne and Le Bret, having stopped trying to manipulate and condescend to them, and he admits feeling some jealousy toward Cyrano's way of living however he chooses without begging any man's pardon. There's an irony there, too--in embracing the parts of himself he's had to hide, de Guiche has reclaimed his personal authenticity, while Cyrano's sacrificed his own by keeping his and Christian's secret.

All this to say, I think de Guiche's character arc regarding his place in society is really underrated. Which is also why adaptations that portray de Guiche as simply a despicable villain really rub me the wrong way--he does start out as a first-class asshole, but he does also grow and change, and it feels cheap to take that away from him just to make Cyrano look better since Cyrano's part of his catalyst to change in the first place.

The Count's Scarf

Strangely enough, one more thing I find fascinating about real original Rostand’s «Cyrano » is de Guiche.

I'm not saying I like de Guiche – he's a dick all right: but he is not the antagonist.

We’ve established previously that Cyrano’s true enemy is The Evils Of The World. De Guiche does nasty things to Roxane and Lignière: but his only direct confrontation with Cyrano is the one about the white scarf. Where de Guiche is not the Evil to Cyrano’s Good; he’s the Ordinary to Cyrano’s Extraordinary. And, by defeatedly admitting Cyrano’s superiority, – de Guiche technically wins

[elliesmainhoe]

PROFESSOR

Professor!Ellie X CollegeStudent!Reader

Summary: After Dina forced you to go to her new physics teachers public lecture, you start developing feelings for the professor.

Contents: LEGAL age gap (21 year old reader and 29 year old Ellie), fem!reader, reader is a blunt person and says what she thinks, pining, anxiety, panic attack, confessions, kisses.

Part 1 (you're here) - Part 2 - Part 3

Requested by @lonelyfooryouonly 🧡

My Masterlist

Dina had told you about her physics teacher. She complained constantly about the old man, who droned on and on about the same shit for hours on end, providing no new information of any substance to his students.

That's why on a random Friday afternoon, Dina rushed into the busy café you frequent and taking a be-line for your usual table.

"oh my god. Y/n." Dina practically yelled making several people turn around from there conversations glaring at the brunette. "This is the best day of my life~" she squealed ecstatically.

"Jesus Christ Dina, a little warning next time please?" As your heart pounded at the sudden appearance of the girl. "You spooked me" you laughed. "So what's up"

"Mr.Robinson retired!!!" She screeched, sitting down on the chair opposite you, laughing at your unamused expression.

"Fucking finally, I was so done of you complaining about that asshole" you muttered between sips of coffee.

" and our new physics teacher is having a weekly lecture starting this Saturday. And I was wondering if you would go tomorrow with me?" She continued deciding to ignore your comment.

"Why don't you go with Jesse? One, he's your boyfriend. Two, he takes physics as well."

"Can't I want to spend time with my best friend?"

"cmon, Dina, what's the deal?" You sigh helplessly.

"ugh fine" she moaned "I heard through the grape vine that the new professor is a woman, hot and a lesbian. And since I know you and your innocent, virgin ways, I was thinking you could... y'know?"

"Let me get this straight" you scoffed, rolling your eyes at the irony of the saying "you want to set me up with a rumoured lesbian, who's probably going to be double if not triple my age?" "Yes, yes I am" Dina smiled sweetly, laughing at the expression on your face.

"no I'm not going."

•••••••••• Saturday, 11th March.

You stood Infront of the closed door that lead into the lecture hall. In usual Dina fashion, she was late, and you were early. You had looked through the small glass pane and peered around the room, a few people were scattered around in the rows of seats. The new professor didn't seem to be in there yet .

If you were completely honest you didn't know why you were here and how your definitive no turned into a reluctant yes.

A flurry of brunette hair rushed towards you, "I'm so sorry, y/n, I got caught up" she panted, out of breath from running from across campus. "Yeah, I noticed." You said bluntly, your eyes following Dina's clumsy form as she swung open the lecture hall door.

She ushered you into the last row of seats, shushing you when you went to complain.

"Shhh, just get out your laptop and pretend your working." "Or I can actually work? I have an essay due on Monday." "Yes, whatever, do that then."

You got out your laptop, clad in stickers, including a few rainbow and lesbian flags, frogs, books, plants and band logos plastered all over it.

You opened up the word document named Analysing the use of language in 'a midsummer night's dream by William Shakespeare'. it currently stands at 2500 words, 500 words away from your goal. Before your hands fell into rhythm across the keyboard. The creak of the door sounded out around the room.

Instinctively you looked over at the door. A very attractive woman began walking down to the front, her hair was short and in a light shade of brown, her skin was sun kissed, freckles dotted along her facial features like constellations. There was a pair of glasses resting on her head, smoothing down some loose strands that fell free from her ponytail. She wore dress pants, and a knitted black and white striped sweater, with simple black doc martens boots.

As soon as she reached the front of the room, her voice sounded out, echoing around the room "Good Afternoon everyone, thank you for taking time out of your weekend to willingly chose to come to a physics lecture. This is the first public lecture I will be holding this semester, and depending on how it goes and how many people attend, I will continue it next semester also."

"Right let me answer some questions I know what your probably thinking. Yes, I know I'm young for a professor, and I'm 29 years old before you start speculating" she spoke with a lighthearted playful tone of voice, captivating you even more.

"My full name is Dr. Ellie Williams, but please just call me Ellie, Miss Williams makes me feel ancient. I have just achieved my PHD, but I've been doing guest lectures for a few years so I'm decently experienced."

She took a few questions, but you weren't paying attention to her words, she was beautiful. The way the sun filtered through the blinds and shadowing patterns in the golden sun that fell upon her freckled skin. Her voice was smooth and deep, soft and alluring, holy fuck Dina was right. She was hot, but was she a lesbian..?

A smothered giggle distracted you from your silent onlooking, you turned towards Dina, and rolled your eyes at the girl whose hand covered her mouth trying to stifle the laugh that involuntarily out of her lips.

"Shut up"

"you love me y/n~" she cooed sarcastically.

"unfortunately" you said under your breath, loud enough for Dina to hear, as a false expression of astonishment and offence fell on her face, making a laugh slip through your lips, much to your dismay.

•••••••••• Saturday, 18th March.

You and Dina walked towards the lecture hall, with a straggler in tow. "Does Jesse really have to come with us?" You whine in Dina's ear pathetically "I don't want to see you guys oogling at each other for two hours" you complain.

"Y'know, you could always sit a bit closer to the front, get a better view of Miss Williams." Jesse joked. "She said that she didn't like being called 'Miss Williams'.' Jesse scoffed "yeah of course you know that"

Deciding to ignore the comment, and walk ahead of the dawdling couple. You lived with them already and you didn't need to see them sending heart eyes to eachother any more than you had to. You finally reached the doors to the familiar lecture hall.

Stopping for Jesse and Dina to catch up to you before you rush into the room, nerves turning to excitement as you scurry into the room. Dina and Jesse filed into the back row again, holding hands and slipping in and out of lovey dovey giggles. No thank you.

Deciding to move closer and shuffling into a seat in the corner of the second row to the front. You brought out your sticker smothered laptop again and worked on a new assignment your English professor had assigned.

"Good Morning Everyone" Ellie chirped as she entered the hall, walking down the steps towards her desk. She wore a white muscle tee, a button-up over the top, left slightly open, she wore simply black pants and the same docmartens.

"Right. Okay... Let's get started everyone" compared to the week before, the amount of people who decided to attend the lecture had almost doubled. Ellie began talking, cracking jokes between facts and equations.

You continued to be mesmerized by her swift movements as she explained certain topics that came up on her pre planned PowerPoints. You didn't like physics, your mind simply couldn't wrap around the complex hypotheticals and various equations. But God did you find Ellie attractive. You didn't mind watching the woman's focused face and commanding voice, talk and explain problems and theories.

Shit.

••••••••••• Wednesday, 22 March

This is the worst day you've ever had the misfortune of experiencing.

First, you woke up on your period, after dosing yourself up on paracetamol and shoving a few tampons in your bag before leaving your's, Dina's and Jesse's, shared apartment.

Second, after ordering your usual latte from the coffee shop you regular, just off campus. The takeaway coffee cups, lid hadn't been put on properly and oops, your new pastel blue dress was now had a large coffee stain right down it.

Third, on your way to your first lecture of the day, it started raining, drenching your hair and soaking the newly spilt coffee into your dress further.

You felt the build up of emotions bubble in your stomach, the overstimulation making everything so so much worse. Quickly, to try and escape the pouring rain, you took shelter in an on-campus book shop. You hid in the corner of the room sitting on a lone couch, as you let the tears fall freely down your face.

Lips wobbling as you tried your hardest to keep the sobs at bay. Fuck. You hated your period. You hated stupid rain. You hated lukewarm coffee. You hated early morning lectures. You hate-

"Hey." A soft voice met your ears, "are you alright?".

You didn't look up, trying your hardest to calm yourself down and not humiliating yourself anymore than you already had.

"yes. M'fine." You muttered.

"It was more of rhetorical question... Can I sit down?..."

"Sure" you whispered, keeping your voice low so it didn't crack.

"You come to my public lectures, don't you?"

What.

The.

Fuck.

No no no no no no no no no no no no.

This can't happen, there is no fucking way that your stupid, stupid, crush is now talking to you while you have a mental breakdown.

Ellie was extremely worried, looking at your hunched over form, now gone rigid at her question. You were pretty, and Ellie's eyes couldn't resist drifting towards you, in your pretty dresses and knitted sweaters.

"I'm sorry, I really didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." She whispered, when you didn't reply. "I'll leave you be"

"no."

Your hoarse voice replied before she could leave. "Oh okay... Bad day then?"

"you have no idea" you sniffed looking up at Ellie for the first time, through your wet eyelashes. She looked at the fresh coffee stain on your dress "I have a small idea" she laughed lightly.

She began to shed her coat, handing towards you. "Here take it... Should keep you warm until you dry off, and it'll cover the stain." She smiles at you.

You sit up straighter, wrapping the coat around your shoulders "thanks" you sniffed again, before wiping your nose on the sleeve of you jumper. "What's your name?" Ellie asks, looking at your tear stained face.

"Y/N..." You mumbled, her gaze hot on your face and you sink into yourself.

"That's a pretty name... What do you study?" You knew what she was trying to do, ask you questions to distract you from your tears, and it worked.

"I study English language"

"well, what are you reading right now?"

Shit shit shit. Right be discreet, tell her your gay discreetly. Jack Fucking Pot!!!!!

"Last night at the telegraph club..."

"oh cool... I'm uh- I'm uh reading 'one last stop" she replied a smile slipping into her face.'

"Nice." You say, an awkward grin gracing your features. "Uhm, it was really nice talking to you, I should give you your coat bac-"

"No. Keep it... You can give it back on Saturday."

"yes, yes...I'll- I'll do that." You get up reluctantly, but you did have a place to be... "Bye Ellie" "See you soon, Y/N."

••••••••• Saturday, 25th March

You were absolutely terrified. More terrified than you ever had been in your whole life. You wore a rainbow shirt, denim skirt and basic black converse, with Ellie's brown coat tucked under your arm as you walked on your own to the lecture hall.

Dina and Jesse were out on a date, leaving you to fend for yourself today. You were debating whether or not to actually go or to chicken out. But ultimately, you decided that you would feel too guilty if you didn't give it back on time as you promised.

So you tried to carry on like normal, entering the lecture hall five minutes early, slotting into the corner of the second row, taking out your personalized laptop and opening up the current assignment you had been working on.

A few minutes later a creak of a door followed by a 'Good Morning everyone.' as the older woman walked towards her desk briskly. She immediately began talking, taking questions and answering as best she could. It was incredible, how she talked with so much passion and understanding for her subject, the way she smiled when a student showed a similar amount of intrigue and fascination that she did.

Ellie was a great teacher. She was so lovely, talking to her students like they were humans, showing and explaining theories in different ways so there was more opportunities for those watching to understand. The way she acted, her kindness, her laugh, her humour, it made the uneasy feeling in your stomach increase every second.

Before you knew it, the two hours had been and went and people began to file out, talking and laughing with eachother. You stayed seated waiting until less people were around before you got up and scurried towards her desk.

"Here." You blurted out, handing the brunette her leather brown coat. "Thank you Y/N." She hummed in reply.

"uh no problem, I wasn't going to steal your jacket, that would be rude" you said, immediately thinking to yourself 'no fucking shit, that was an idiotic thing to say'

"so y/n. Why did you decide to come to my lecture? Physics is a big leap from English"

"my friend Dina takes your subject, she wanted to drag me along to kinda see what you were like before her first official class with you."

'A+ lie right there' you thought to yourself proudly. I mean you couldn't exactly say 'my friend has wanted me to hook up with someone for months now and she heard you were attractive and liked girls'.

"Dina... So I'm assuming it's you're last year in university then?",

"uh yeah. Two semesters left..." God. this was so awkward. Fuck your lack of ability to understand social cues.

You looked at Ellie's face, studying it and seeing a hesitant expression written on her face. "I was, uh, wondering how you were doing?... I mean I couldn't stop thinking about the other day and I just, wanted to make sure you were alright..."

"Oh... That's actually really nice of you. Uhm I'm doing okay, I got just very overwhelmed. It happens a lot but I mask I usually mask it better. I don't really know what came over me"

"no no no. I totally get it, I just y'know worry..." She gave a shy smile, her face slightly flushed, not really knowing what else to say.

"just know I'm always here to talk. I can give you my number? if you ever wanted to call me up and talk about things." "Yeah, yeah I'd really like that actually"

Ellie turned back to her desk, grabbing a pad of sticky notes, writing a string of numbers and doing a small doodle in the corner before giving it to you. "thanks, Ellie" you hummed, turning around quickly and scurrying out of the room, note in hand.

•••••••••• Sunday, 2nd April

You didn't call Ellie. You didn't text Ellie. You didn't even show up to her last lecture, despite Dina's pleading.

Confused. That's what you were, so fucking confused. You really, really liked Ellie. You'd only seen her a few times. She was sweet, kind, beautiful, hot and caring. But she was a professor, not your professor but still, she worked for the college you attended. And you were a student.

What in the forbidden romance trope is this? This isn't a romcon or a novel. If you started flirting with Ellie, or Ellie started flirting with you, she could get fired. Her whole livelihood down the drain just like that. Yes, it was legal. But, if it got out, people would view it suspiciously and rumours would start going around.

But you were overthinking. What if Ellie didn't even like you at all? Just gave you her number out of courtesy, feeling sorry for you after witnessing you cry.

Feelings are so useless. This is why you didn't do this type of stuff, you didn't date, didn't hook up with anyone, because it was easy, no emotional conflict, no feelings getting hurt. And now, you had been thrown into the deep end. Crushing on someone seemingly unattainable. Thanks Dina.

"y'know, if you stop sulking in bed and actually texted her, you'd feel a lot better." Speak of the devil.

"no it won't, it'll make me feel worse," you replied voice muffled by the pillow you had buried your face into.

"how would you know? You've never done this before. I, however, am a certified veteran at talking phases, and trust me y/n. I'm right"

"no"

"You text her right now. Or else you have to come with me to my physics lesson with me on Monday and you have to talk to her after."

••••••••••• Monday, 3rd April

Its 9am on a Monday morning and let's just say you are cursing the world... and Dina.

"Just remember y/n the longer you wait, the harder it'll be. Let's just get it out the way, yeah?" She chirped, linking arms with you, a reassuring smile on her face. "No..." You whined in reply as Dina ushered you out of the apartment.

"c'mon."

The walk was excruciating. Your mind was in another world as Dina joked and laughed with you, trying to take your mind off the looming anxiety that began to bubble in your chest. After fifteen minutes of walking on auto pilot, and almost walking into various obstacles (poles, trash cans, lamp posts etc), you finally arrived at the all too familiar lecture hall.

"Ready?"

"no"

"let's go".

Dina shuffled into the background, gesturing you to sit next to her, so you did, hands clasped together trying to swallow down the panic of your fast paced heart pounding in your chest.

"Hey, calm down..." You heard Dina whisper into your ear, as she grabbed your hand squeezing it, trying to comfort you. Breathing in deeply, you pulled out the book you were currently reading, trying to distract yourself.

"Good Morning everyone!" The familiar smooth voice of the woman you had been having a crisis over for weeks sounded out throughout the room as she entered. You're heart skipped a beat, your breath caught in your throat and became irregular.

"Shit. Dina, I-I don't think I can do this." You stammered, feeling tears well in your eyes.

"Okay, okay. C'mon, let's go." She rushed, eyes showing a guilty expression, as she closed her laptop, shoving into her bag and entwining hads with you as she guided you to the door. "

As soon as you left the stuffy hall, it felt as if the weight of the world lifted off of your shoulders.

"I'm so sorry y/n. I really didn't mean to push you, I shouldn't have. Gosh I'm so sorry." She rushed out.

"no, no don't apologize you were only trying to help. " You sighed as you took a seat on the floor outside the lecture hall.

"I need to go to the restroom. Are you sure you'll be okay for a sec?, we can leave once I get back"

"yeah, yeah, go ahead. I'll manage"

You closed your eyes, as you listened to Dina's footsteps become further and further away and tried to regulate your erratic breathing.

"Hey." No , not again.

Ellie shuffled sitting next to you on the ground. "You okay?" "No."

"right, yeah, obviously..."

"Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that way... Just don't get the point in lying, y'know?"

"I get it, it's an admirable trait." The underlying compliment caused your cheeks to flush pink, under her gaze. You became more aware of your surroundings, the feeling of elies side pushed up against yours now becoming more prominent.

Deciding to look at your shoes instead of meeting Ellie's warm gaze, you foot began to tap, jittering irritably from the nerves that still hadn't left your body.

"Don't you have a lecture to go back to?" You ask, trying to nurse the conversation back to life.

"I do, but I have different priorities currently..."

"You should go back, what priorities are more important than your job?"

You could practically feel Ellie's smile, even though you weren't even looking at her... "This..." She mumbled, her hand brushing under your chin and guiding your face to hers.

Your lips connected slowly, you could taste her strawberry Chapstick mix with the cherry one you had applied on yourself earlier. You felt her lips twisted into a smile, her hand moved from your chin, across your jawline until finally reaching the back of your head, pushing you deeper into the kiss.

A cough erupted from behind you, making you and Ellie jump apart. Turning around quickly to face the culprit-

"Dina!-" you yelled at the girl, who stood leaning against the wall, a smug grin painted on her face.

"Told you so."

----------------

Part 2

Here it is. I actually really like this one, I feel like I could've written the ending better but oh well. The ending is slightly different to what was requested, but I started writing and it just kinda happened like that. But I hope you still like it 🧡

NOT PROOFREAD

[kay-then-i-guess]

This redesign page of my Roleshuffle AU Techno has been sitting in my drafts for a while, so let's talk my Techno design! I already have a post discussing why I made him based off an overworld pig, so check that out first if you haven't seen it. I can't really summarize it.

Something I'm doing to show "the voices" getting louder without having to use text is making his pupils get bigger, and potentially have little red glints. I know normally the more insane a character gets, the smaller their pupils gets, but I wanted him to appear a little more animalistic. While the small pupils give a very manic, crazed look, I wanted Techno to look completely focused--almost too focused. As aforementioned, animalistic. I probably won't get to the point of what actual pig eyes look like (fully black with the whites in the back), but I do want to get a similar idea across. This choice also makes him look less aware of any dialogue going on, which I is something I've been trying to do with "the voices". No thoughts, only Blood For the Blood God.

Also! I swear during a Techno stream he had a skin with a blue sweater. Maybe I dreamed it, because I couldn't find it anywhere, but I distinctly remember his chat teasing him for it, with him responding "It's a sweater!" But I digress. Perhaps I just imagined that.

Below is the original design I had for him, and was one of the first design sheets I did (if not the first ever; I don't particularly remember). I was originally not leaning into such a cartoon-y style, but I really got into that style as I started actually making the comic. (His mildly realistic teeth in that top left image haunts me.) In other notes, I think either because of the way I did his legs originally or the way I did his head originally (both were a bit elongated), he didn't look short. Part of that is because if you measure out his full-body shot, every portion of him is roughly the same length. I.E. his head is the same length as his torso, and his torso is the same length as the legs. If you take any character design course, one of the things they'll probably note is that for unique character designs, it's a good idea to mess around with proportions (both length and width). It's tough to figure out, but once you have that idea in, you can make your characters look more unique. For instance, while Techno's longest bit is his torso, in width, he has smaller legs and a bit smaller head. On the other hand, Ranboo's longest bit is his legs, and in width, the widest part is his head (if you count his little floppy-ear-thingamajigs). I really struggled implementing this tip for a while, but woooo, once I did, my designs got a lot better. I still could stand to put it in more, to be honest haha.

Also, personal note: I didn't mean to go on such a long break, but finals have been rough (3 essays, all at least seven pages...yikes). Anyways, I'm going to have a lot to catch up on, but I AM NOT DEAD. The comic will go on! It just might take a bit, and I thank all of you for your patience! :) (Also, I'm still running character asks if you're interested!)

[lesbianwithchainsaws]

Wait i actually wanna hear your thoughts/opinions on the Saw movies!

Anon, this is a risky thing to ask me because all that will happen is you will get a 10k word essay from me as a result. But okay. I am going to put this under "Read more" because I truly mean it when I say this ended up very long.

So first of all, I fucking love the Saw franchise. Like objectively it's not that good, especially the sequels, but I love these movies and the characters (mostly). I'm really excited for Saw X, even though I know it's not going to be good. The 10th movie in a horror franchise is never actually good, but at this point I feel like Saw could give me anything and I'll still watch it.

Despite some of the sequels being not so great, I genuinely think the first movie is a masterpiece. I'm a sucker for low budget movies because I love seeing what people can do with little money and I think Saw does a great job at showing the world, the traps and everything. It's definitely not perfect and you can tell it's got a small budget at times, but it just still works so well. Also let's be honest, Saw would not work if it had a huge budget.

Anyway, the story of the first one is still so intriguing and well made, even when you're someone like me who's seen it several times. And the reverse bear trap scene still hits.

I love Adam and Lawrence as characters. They're so intriguing to watch and Adam truly has the funniest lines ever. "This is the most fun I've had without lubricant." sir, you are in a death trap lmao!

Even the other characters are interesting to watch imo.

Oh, and I can't not mention the early drafts of the Saw script. There are some lines that make me insane every time I think about them. I'm sure you can find some of them on tumblr. My favourite is probably "so many days you have wanted to die. Now your goal is to make it out of here alive. Either way, you win, yes?". In the early drafts Adam was quite suicidal and that line is in the Jigsaw tape to Adam. Honestly there's so much about Adam in the early drafts that makes me lose it a little. There's even some dialogue of Lawrence asking Adam about him being suicidal. It just... aaaaaaaaaaaaaa yknow?

Saw really has such well written characters. Even if the story isn't always the greatest, the characters make up for it a lot.

Especially Amanda. Like her being addicted to heroin and after the rbt, she and John thinks she's good now. He's healed her. But he hasn't. She now needs John's approval. And she still hurts herself and starts killing others. Because John didn't do shit. He turned her into this monster and he doesn't really care. He supposedly cares that she's killing people, but only because he lives with some weird god complex where he thinks he's not killing people.

But genuinely if you really think about it, she's just a tragic character and that's the point. I love her character, even though she'll never get anything good to happen to her.

Also on a less serious note, Amanda Young is a lesbian. No, I'm not projecting. (I am)

Now onto Jigsaw himself. Fucking John Kramer. I would beat him up if he was real. I don't care that he's an old man dying of cancer, I would punch him. Every time he talks about how he doesn't kill people and that killing is distasteful, I feel like fighting. Dude straight up kidnaps people and puts them in death traps that are nearly impossible to escape. But sure. Yeah, they totally had a choice in the matter. Also like what choice did the people in Saw III have? They didn't have a choice, they had to have Jeff choose for them. And the people in Saw VI? Like I love Saw VI and I love that it's about health care in the US, but like those people didn't get to choose shit. He killed them. And yes, he's dead by that point, but it's his design and his trap. John Kramer is stupid and I would fist fight him at any point in time.

Sorry, I guess I should move on to the second movie.

I think the second movie is pretty good. I prefer the first one and kinda wish the 2nd one had some better character stuff, but the traps in the second one are so good? The fucking needle pit makes me cringe every time. Also fun fact, they used over 100k syringes for that trap. People had to remove the needles from each one to ensure that it's safe and I remember seeing this behind the scenes video where even the 100k syringes weren't enough. They had to put padding at the bottom to make it seem like the pit was a lot more full.

I also do like the idea of all the victims being connected because they were framed by Detective Matthews. And the twist is pretty cool too even if "your son is in a safe place" is silly. Did it have to be a pun? It's so funny.

Also Amanda waking up in the trap and immediately checking if there's a trap on her head? Makes me insane actually.

Now onto the third one, I genuinely think I'd like it more if Jeff didn't suck. He's a frustrating character to watch most of the time. However, I do think that The Rack (the trap Timothy was in that slowly twisted his limbs) is the worst trap ever, but like I mean that in a good way. It's probably the only trap I genuinely have to look away from. I can't handle watching it fully.

I think a lot of the other traps in Saw III are pretty cool too, again, I just wish Jeff was less frustrating of a character.

But Amanda and Lynn? First of all, there was something gay as hell going on there. If they both didn't literally die in that movie, I would say they hate-fucked afterwards. Also Amanda is so hot in this movie. Uh, I mean, what? Who said that? I'm not simping for the murderer.

Okay. I definitely prefer the Amanda, Lynn and John side of the plot. I think it's a lot more interesting to watch, especially with Amanda struggling because of the letter and not knowing whether to kill Lynn or not. I also like that we find out more about Amanda and her mental state after everything John has done.

I will forever be upset that Saw III has so many deleted scenes. Especially the one where Adam and Amanda interact. I think it's such a good scene, I wish they kept it in. (If you haven't seen it, the deleted scenes are all on youtube). I think it's so cool to see how Amanda is like hesitant almost for a bit to do anything to Adam because he's being nice to her. And like she's going to his apartment to kidnap him. She has zero good intentions, but she looks to almost second guess the decision as he's leaving.

Fourth movie, let's go! The fourth one is in my opinion very funny. Mainly because of the ridiculous scene transitions. I saw this behind the scenes video where Darren Lynn Bousman (the director) was so excited about the scene transitions, but me and my friends have watched this movie and laughed at the transitions. They're so ridiculous. Especially the one where the lady is goes through the mirror and onto the police office.

Anyway, the main overall trap is kinda not that great in this one imo. And the whole reason that the character is in the trap because he spends too much time trying to catch Jigsaw is ridiculous. However, I do like the fact that a rapist gets put in a Saw trap. 10/10

Oddly enough, I don't remember the overall plot that well of this movie. I don't even think its a bad Saw movie, I think it's pretty good. It's just kind of forgettable overall I guess?

Saw V... Saw V is a movie that I think could've been really good, but ended up kinda crap.

First of all, the concept of the trap is probably one of my favourites. I love the idea that all of them could've survived, if they just worked together and weren't selfish. I think it's a great idea. However, I don't think it was executed that well. Mainly, I think the backstory of the characters should've been clearer. And just the characters in general could've been better. Also sorry, but I thought the reveal that they could've worked together was so obvious. I think with some more improvements in the script, this could've been great though.

The fucking cop plot however? Jesus christ, I hated it. Mark Hoffman walks around like he's got "I'm Jigsaw" taped on his back, yet somehow not a single person is suspicious of him and instead think Strahm is guilty. Like please, Hoffman is not that good at hiding.

Also whoever did the casting for Saw IV and V is my enemy. I genuinely had a hard time telling Strahm and Hoffman apart at first. They both look like generic white guys and I'm supposed to distinguish from these two? It doesn't help that they're fucking dressed a similar way. I kinda wish they would've altered their appearance a little more at the very least.

The end is cool though.

Saw VI is one of my favourites though. It's a bit dumb, but I love it. I love that they show the stupidity that is American healthcare in it. I enjoy the traps a lot. Especially the shotgun carousel. Hello? Whoever thought of that is kind of genius. It's a really cool idea imo. I also think the characters are better written in this too. I will never not think that Jigsaw putting the janitor in a trap for smoking is kinda dumb, but I kinda understand why he's there.

The twist isn't great, but it's a great movie overall.

Fun fact: Saw VII aka Saw: The Final Chapter was originally supposed to be two separate movies. But Saw VI didn't do as well as studios wanted, despite the fact that it was a lot better critically received. So the studio made the filmmakers cut the idea down to one movie. I really wish we could've gotten two though, that would've worked way better. Apparently one was supposed to focus more on Lawrence, which would've been really good.

The Saw VII we did get is not a very good movie. Character-wise it's bad. The traps are okay. But also this movie is weirdly ugly? Like whatever they did with the colour grading didn't work at all. I think it looks hideous. The wrong colours stand out and it doesn't feel as much of a Saw movie anymore.

Saw VII needed more Lawrence. Also the way that the guys wife did nothing wrong and didn't deserve to slowly burn alive. Oh, also, I think the concept of a therapy group for Jigsaw survivors is so unintentionally funny. It's like an absurd comedy,how are there enough people for there to be Jigsaw survivors therapy group lmao

Just realised I haven't even mentioned Jill and Hoffman's whole plot, but tbh idk if there's much to say about it. I think it makes sense for John to want to test Hoffman when he's become too serial killer-y. And it's cool to have the rbt return. Especially in VII where we actually see someone get killed by it. I know Saw VII is the most hated, but imo it's not the worst Saw movie.

Which greatly leads us to Jigsaw. The worst Saw movie! Fuck Jigsaw (2017). Me and my homies all hate Jigsaw (2017).

First of all, Jigsaw looks even less like a Saw movie than VII. Like why did they try to go for this modern look to it? Why was that necessary? I think part of what makes the Saw movies so good is the gross 2000s look. It doesn't work as well without it.

The characters are alright. Although the scene where that one guy is right by the thing that would disable the trap completely and he doesn't fucking do it is kinda frustrating. Like at that point, do it just in case. I don't remember the exact details of the trap, but I'm talking about the bike one. I think he had to press a bike break? And the spinning trap that would kill him would be deactived completely.

But what really makes me hate this movie is the ending. First of all, John taking a bullet, showing it to the other two and going "this is the key to your survival" and then us finding out that he put keys to the chains inside the bullet? Yeah, what the fuck? This is so much worse than "He's in a safe place". I hate that part so much.

Of course, the twist that this was all in the past is even dumber. If this happened before Adam and Lawrence, then why does Billy have glowing eyes? Why does John suddenly have high-tech TV's. Why does the Jigsaw trap look like a fucking corporate office. Why is everything the way that it is?

But the truly worst part is Logan. My sworn enemy. I would gladly punch John, but that feeling is tripled when it comes to Logan. He's like a more annoying Hoffman. And Logan's been here from the start? Fuck off, no he hasn't. And "John didn't think I should die because of an honest mistake." I'm killing Logan. I'm aiming a gun at the writers of this movie. I'm fist fighting everything in sight. How do you watch SEVEN whole movies about the kind of person John is and think he would ever save someone because of a mistake? Logan's annoying ass should be dead. And listen, I know there's a theory out there where someone is saying that maybe John saved Logan because he put too many drugs in his system, which caused Logan not to wake up in time to give him a decent chance, and what John really meant was that he (John) made a mistake. But no, that's still stupid. It's John Kramer! He'd just blame Logan for the fact that the drugs didn't let him wake up in time. John wouldn't save him.

Also how does being spared by a serial killer equal deciding to work for said serial killer? What was the reason? Why did Logan do all that and decide that he wants to help John? It makes no sense! This movie makes no sense. The traps aren't even good enough or entertaining enough to look past all the stupidity. It makes me upset that they fucked up a Saw movie this badly. Saw is already convoluted enough. They genuinely could've just given a generic Saw trap plot and a generic cop plot, and it would've been 10x times better. Anything would've been 10x better than Jigsaw (2017). I truly hate that movie, I'm sorry.

Okay, finally there's Spiral: From the Book of Saw. Now I see quite a bit of dislike for Spiral out there on the internet, but honestly? I actually think it's alright. I'd put Spiral above Jigsaw and Saw VII. Maybe even above V.

This movie also abandons the gross 2000s aesthetic, but I think it works better here because it's a completely different setting and it's not Jigsaw! It's not John or Amanda or Hoffman or Logan. It's a copycat killer and in turn, I think that makes me more okay with the change in style.

Also I think the traps in Spiral are awesome. I especially like that, since this is a copycat killer, the whole "make a choice" thing kinda goes out the window too. It's just a bunch of brutal traps and I don't mind that at all.

The tongue trap is pretty unforgettable, but for some reason the finger one makes me cringe the most. Something about the idea of your fingers being pulled apart just gives me that slight uncomfortable feeling. Also the trap with the wax was pretty interesting too and quite brutal.

The twist in this movie, however, is so predictable imo. Like the second they didn't show the trap William was supposedly in, I knew he was alive and guilty. But I do love a Jigsaw that says ACAB.

I do also think Spiral has a lot of flaws. Like it's overall not a very good movie, but I enjoyed it. My opinion might be slightly influenced by the fact that this was the first Saw movie I saw in cinemas and it was a fun watch, but still. The movie's alright. I wouldn't mind a sequel to Spiral.

And as mentioned previously, I'm really excited for Saw X. Especially since they're bringing back my girl Amanda. I know it won't be as good as the first one, but I at least hope that Saw X will be better than Jigsaw.

[bbbrianjones]

I NEED AN ESSAY ON TRAFFIC + with some ronnie lane inbetween, please write a majestic folk story on ronnie

you want an essay i will GIVE u an essay, my love <3

TRAFFIC

chris! CHRIS!! CHRIS WOOD!! CHRISTOPHER!!! i love him so much!!! i just think he is the sweetest little creature in the whole band. WHY DOES HE NOT GET TALKED ABOUT NEARLY AS MUCH AS THE OTHER PEOPLE IN TRAFFIC?? IT'S A CRIME!! admittedly i liked him mostly because i thought he was beautiful, big dark eyes with mass of dark hair and lovely little nose, god i do love his nose so much he looks like a little penguin with his nose!!! but i do think he was just such an integral part of traffic. i know he didn't write many songs and that he was more of an instrumental guy but he adds SO MUCH to the songs. his pieces with the flute and/or saxophone are such an essential part of what gave traffic the sound they are known for!! considering what everyone else was doing at the time, it would be pretty hard to find a flautist in a rock band and that was all chris, my sweetheart!! he puts so much of his emotional energy into a song and you can just hear it, chris really does set the mood with his instruments. and i find it interesting seeing how he develops that throughout traffic, there's a reason why the low spark of high heeled boys is usually in the top three when it comes to traffic albums, i really believe it's where chris just shines musically!! the atmosphere and world he is able to create with his instruments are just astounding. i do tend to get very emotional when i think about what happened to him. in some way, i wish he didn't become famous and he stuck with his painting and maybe do music as a hobby because he was a vulnerable soul who got involved with bad people and bad circumstances. fame just wasn’t something for him and in the end it is what killed him really. i just think about how his sister steph once said that chris felt under-appreciated his whole life and it makes me CRY!!!! i could have loved him, i could have given him the love he rightly deserved OH MY GOD!! i want him to take me birdwatching or to read maps or bake apple pies because he was homesick or stay out all night watching a house to see if it was haunted or pray to god that he wouldn’t every time he made a smart ass comment. just to watch him perform would have been the dream too, 85% to be able to see the emotional and other 15% to see his arms because 😳😳😳 i’m blushing homie damn when did u get so hot!! also love his little boot collection, i swear he had boots in ever colour and i find that just so sweet can u imagine?? a boot for every outfit!!!

RONNIE LANE

my favourite little hobbit! he is just so sweet, the sweetest soul ever! i just find him such a funny fellow because he's just not the type of person you would expect to be in a rock n roll band, like compare him to someone like steve marriott who seemed to be born to do rock n roll and then there’s ronnie with his little songs about flies and happiness stan!! in my honest opinion, i think ronnie gave the small faces just that little bit of extra weirdness that made their special. steve was for more of the hard-hitting music with soft lyrics but i don’t know with ronnie you can just tell this man had done lsd, you know what i mean?? i think that towards the end of the band he was really coming together as a songwriter but unfortunately, we’ll never really know what else he had because of the break up!! also ronnie’s like really cute, this man looks like he could be going on magical adventures with frodo like he is so scuffy and adorable, you just know that he’s the type of guy that would be living under a mushroom. he was also never one for confrontation which makes sense, it doesn’t look like a guy who would raise his voice, he’s just so softly spoken. i also find it funny that after the small faces and the faces he kinda went off and did his own thing, like really he honestly went ‘.... why don’t i start a circus or something??’ and then did EXACTLY THAT!! god i would have loved to have seen this, it honestly sounds like something out of my dreams!! also whenever i hear about fishpool farm i just so SO EXCITED!! I WANT TO BE THERE!! i just wanna chill around a fireplace and just have er*c cl*pton compose wonderful tonight right in front of my eyes. speaking of that guy, i think it so sweet how ronnie was besties with everyone, it makes sense because does seem like the kind of guy who would get along with everyone. i think about his friendship with glyn johns and you know maybe there is good in the world. ronnie gave glyn the nickname bluto after the bully from popeye because of glyn’s personality. firstly, very ronnie nickname to give and secondly IMAGINE GETTING AWAY WITH DOING THIS!!! ronnie give me a nickname from some old cartoon that’s both slightly mean but totally makes sense!! 

[devinescribe]

Back Then

Part 9 to '100 Promises'

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

"Hey, call me back when you get this, or um... when you have a minute. I know you're busy, but... just... call me when you get the chance," your voice softly said through the phone. It sounded like you had been crying. He sighed, running a hand through his already messy hair. "Fuck... (Y/N). She really needs me right now, and I'm at work. Damn it," he cursed, leaning back in his chair.

You had to go up to Iwate, as your mother had called the night before in tears saying your grandmother had passed away. He knew how much pain you were in. You were always close to your grandmother. He quickly dialed your number, putting the phone up to hear ear, listening to it ring. He tapped his fingers on the desk anxiously, reading through the paper that explained the basis of what the game was so he could have a distraction. He heard you pick up. "H-hello?" You sniffled. "Hey (N/N), how are you holding up?" He asked. He heard you laugh softly. "Not well at all, if I'm being honest. I wish you were here with me," you said, your voice shaky. It pained him that he wasn't there. "I wish I was there to help you, but I really can't... I'm so sorry (Y/N)," he said. The door to the office opened, and he turned quickly, seeing his coworker. Niragi pointed to his phone in apology. " 'Ragi... can we video call later? Please?" You asked. "Yeah, yeah... we can do that. I'll call you later, I promise. I have to go though. I'm so sorry again (N/N)," he said, trying to excuse himself without sounding rude. "Ok... thanks for calling. I know you're at work, so thank you for making time for me... Bye, love you," you responded. He could hear the tears in your voice. "No problem. Love you too, bye," he responded(is that... weird? Because I do that my friends, and I just- I don't know-.) The line disconnected, and he dropped his head into his hands.

"That your girlfriend?" His coworker asked. He had forgotten they were in they room. Niragi lifted his head from his hands, and shook his head. "No. She's my friend," he responded. "Oh. You two much be close then?" His coworker questioned. Niragi nodded. "Did something happen? You seemed to be fustrated at something," they observed. "Oh, no.... it's just that her grandmother passed away, and she's... she's handling it. But, it's hard on her, as expected. She keeps saying how she wishes I was there to help her, but I really can't," Niragi explained. This coworker of his was one of the pleasant ones. One the ones who did their fair share of work, and wasn't annoying. So, by that logic, Niragi didn't mind them. "Oh... that sucks. My condolences to her..." they said sincerely. Niragi knew they didn't really know how to... people correctly. What that mean was, they were kind of awkward, but so was he. Maybe that's why they didn't really get in each other's way. "Maybe you could say it's a family emergency? If you're that close with her, of course." They suggested. They walked over to his messy desk, pointing at a picture. "Is that her?" They asked. Niragi nodded. "I think that was from... oh gods... two summers ago? Yeah..." he muttered. "I mean, it's probably not a good idea to lie to the boss, but if you're that worried, I think it's a justified lie," the said. Niragi nodded, but didn't say anything, getting lost in his thoughts.

"I um... I came to give you this. The client changed their mind about a few things," they said, placing a folder of papers down. "Oh you've got to be fucking joking me," he groaned, before quickly apologizing for his language. Sure, if he was alone in his office he'd swear, but there was someone else in the office now. That wasn't exactly work appropriate. "No, no... that's... that sums up everyone's reaction. Especially since we were so close to being done... well, I'll leave you to it," they said, leaving with the soft shutting of the door. He sighed, picking up the file, reading through the changes. He tried to concentrate, but his mind was elsewhere. You had taken time off before to help him, so why couldn't he? What if he did what his coworker advised? He made up his mind quickly, not really thinking of anything other than the fact that right now, you needed him. And you were always there when he needed you. You always took care of him, even when you didn't need to.

He dialled your phone number again, this time, it was a video call just like you asked. "Hey," you voice greeted him. You were in what he assumed to be your bed at your grandmother's house. "'Hey. So... I may or may not have lied to my boss about something, so if he asks, promise you'll go along with it?" He asked. "Umm.. depends," you responded. "Ok, I'll tell you in a second. Just... come open the door it's freezing out here," he said, a small smile on his face. Your eyes lit up, and you dropped the phone running downstairs. He could hear your footsteps, and ended the call. You opened the door, and hugged him tightly.  He almost stumbled from your attack, but hugged you back. "I- I thought you had- had work?" You questioned, drying the tears that had started. "Yeah, so... if my boss ever asks... um... just-" he stuttered. ''What did you tell him we were married?" You laughed. "Not... exactly?" He hesitated. "You told him we were engaged, didn't you?" You asked. "I needed to come up with a believable lie, and it was the first ting that came to mind, please don't be mad," he explained nervously. "I'm not... thank you for doing... all of that to come here. I really appreciate it," you said, bringing him inside. Your mother hadn't made it yet, as she was on a trip in America. She'd gotten the news over call, so you were alone in the house. Well, that was until Niragu showed up, but you're glad he did.

-----------------------------------------------------------

It was the middle of the night, and you couldn't sleep. There was always something keeping you up. You threw the blankets off of your body in frustration, standing up. You walked into the kitchen, and grabbed a cup, filling it with water. "What are you doing up so late?"

You jumped, dropping the glass. It shattered on the floor, spilling water and glass everywhere. You looked up to see Niragi. "Haha. I can't sleep," you explained, picking up the larger pieces of glass. "Well that sucks," he said, leaning on the counter. "Yeah, I'm going to go on a walk to see if I get tired," you said, drying up the water. "(Y/N), it's night time," he said. You finished picking up and nodded. "I'm... well aware," you responded confused. "You're a woman... going out for a walk... at night. Alone," he reminded. You sighed looking down. He was definitely on the right track. "Right... uh, I'll just go to my room then... we don't have plans tomorrow do we?" You asked. He shook his head. "You know what? No, come on. I'll drive you around, yeah? Let's see if we can find something to get you tired," he said, grabbing his keys off the counter. You grabbed his arm, stopping him. "Can I get my hoodie? It's cold," you asked. You were in a tank top and a pair of spandex. "Yeah. I'll be in the car, don't take too long," he said, leaving.

You quickly ran to your room, throwing on your favorite hoodie. You also grabbed a pair of tennis shoes from your closet, slipping them on. You snatched your phone from your dresser, putting it in the pocket of your hoodie. You ran to the front door, locking it, and closing it behind you. You ran out to his car, opening the passenger side door. You felt the warmth from inside the car, and goosebumps appeared on your skin. You got in quickly, shutting the door as you did. "Ready?" He asked. You nodded, and he began driving.

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"Alright, it's the moment of truth, which mental breakdown thing will we do today?" You questioned. He laughed. "It's 2 in the morning, we're drunk, and having mental breakdowns. Twinsies~" he said. You laughed, leaning on him. "No but seriously, cutting my hair is a big no, so tattoos or piercings?" You questioned. "Both. Let's go!" You shouted, grabbing his arm. "Woah Woah woah. Before we go, what do we do if a cop pulls us over?" He asked, being serious. "Nothing. ACAB bitch," you giggled. "Ok, and I'm driving-"

-----------------------------------------------------------

All in all, you two had moments that seems like you were the main characters of the whole world. Of course, during high school you two were cautious about what you did, seeing as you still had to worry about your bullies and fathers. But after high school? Oh, no. You two were the kids that didn't have to study for the test because you were to smart. Staying out at parties and keeping perfect grades was your guy's thing.

You two would stay up doing projects out of your own ambition. The essay was due in a month and needed to be 3 pages? You would both finish and turn it in the week it was assigned, and it was 13 pages. Of course, that was a problem, seeing as you would extend yourselves past your limits. It was a thing you were taught to do as children to be overachievers because you would do anything to please your parents. Even if you knew they would never be pleased.

Maybe that's why your previous relationships hadn't worked out. There was 4 in total.

The first broke up with you because he didn't like Niragi. What did they want you to do? Drop your childhood best friend? No way.

The second cheated on you. Niragi had warned you, but you didn't listen. He had said that he thought you were cheating on him with Niragi.

The third turned out to be a manipulator, which you caught on to quickly. He tried to manipulate a girl who grew up with an abusive father, who takes forensics and psychology classes. So, in short, he was a dumbass.

The fourth... the fourth was just annoyingly clingy. He didn't want you to talk to other guys, and didn't let you as independent as you wanted to be.

One thing they all had in common though, was that they didn't like Niragi. They expected you to drop your best friend for them, something you wouldn't do, and didn't plan on ever doing.

"What are you thinking about?" Last Boss whispered next to you. It caught you off guard, and you jumped. "Ah, sorry... just... thinking about stuff. Nothing important," you said. He nodded, going back to whatever he was doing beforw. Niragi smirked, nudging you with his elbow. "You got Last Boss to talk to you? Oh he must like you a lot," Niragi teased, rather loudly. You rolled your eyes, and you heard Last Boss scoff. "What are you? The guys from high school?" You said. His face scrunched up in disgust, and you saw his hands grip onto his gun. You cautiously moved away slightly. "Don't compare me to them," he spat. You nodded your head to his gun. "Then don't act like them."

[cherrytdatt]

Sadness Ritual pt. 3

Pairing: Tom Holland x Reader

Word count: ~3.6k

Summary: Will Harrison's engagement party solve things between Y/N and Tom?

Warnings: N-O-T-H-I-N-G!

A/N: PART 3 IS HERE!!! after struggling a lot I finally did it. Part of this was inspired by the engagement scene in 'set it up' also know as my favorite rom-com ever so think about that vibe! I hope you guys like it. I really liked.

Playlist: No playlist...I heard so many things...It was a rollercoaster!

Part 1 | Part 2

Three months ago, at 3 am, Tom stood in your kitchen and said the words you wished for months to hear from him. And yet, you felt your entire chest hurt, and you couldn't look at him. You sent him home, and since then, you didn't see him again. But now, the inevitable was coming. Anna and Harrison's engagement party is in one day. You're the maid of honor, and Tom is the best man. Anna asked you if you would be okay seeing him again and, to be honest, you don't know, but it’s her engagement party. You won't deny the presence of her fianceé's best friend and best man.

"Ready for the party?" Anna asked while you two looked at some dresses in some store.

The party would be something small, just family and friends, in Tom's backyard. You wanted to help, but going to Tom's house, knowing he would be there, wasn't in your plans.

"Yeah! I'm so happy for you. And Harrison. Since your first date, I knew you two would get married," you said with a smile. "I remember I said I would be a shitty maid of honor," you said with a laugh. "And Tom said he would be a great best man," your smile faded a little when you thought about Tom.

"Did you talk to him?" Anna asked, already knowing the answer.

"No," you said simply.

"Harrison said he's feeling better, but still misses you," Anna said with a weak voice.

You cleared your throat. "I miss him too," you said almost in a whisper.

"Why don't you talk to him?" she asked.

"I don't know. Things got pretty bad between us. I'm still sad with him, and I'm sure he is sad with me too," you said, and the sadness in your voice was almost palpable.

"I'm sure he forgave you. And I think you already forgave him. You're just afraid," she said.

"Maybe. Let's see how mad I'll be when I see him tomorrow," you chuckled, but your voice was still sad. "D-do you...hum...do know what happened...to the girl?

"Oh, please! He ended things with her the morning after your fight, and never saw her again," Anna said.

"What you think of these?" you asked, putting a black floral dress in front of you, and changing the subject to hide how happy that information made you.

"Loved," she said animatedly.

"I'll try it," you said, going into the dressing room.

You didn't wanna think about Tom and all the situation now, but the talk with Anna got stuck into your head. 'He still misses you'. Her voice was louder and clearer than when you talked. You decided to buy the black dress for Anna's party. Thank God she chose a very casual party, so you could go with comfortable clothes.

"I see you tomorrow," Anna said goodbye, leaving you in front of your building.

You got into your apartment, still thinking about your talk with her. You missed Tom, more than anything in your life, but every time you thought about those pictures, and the fact that he did all that even though he liked you, you felt a strange and bitter feeling in your stomach. All you wanted was to talk to him and solve things, but you felt so afraid of what he would do and what he was willing to do to make things better. 

You used the rest of your night writing some essays you had to finish this week and watching some comedy on TV.

'Hey. How are you? I just wanna say that I can't wait to see you tomorrow. And I want you to know that I'm cool if you decide not to talk with me. I just want you to be okay 🙂' Tom's message took your attention away from the TV. You stared at the text, not knowing what to say. Of course, you wanted to see him, but talk to him would be the best thing? You really didn't know.

'Hi. I'm great. And you? I'm okay talking to you tomorrow,' you typed, throwing the phone on the other side of the couch like it was a bomb ready to explode. "Fuck!" you said, noticing the smile that appeared in your face.

'I'm good. That's good. I miss talking to you. How crazy it is that our friends are getting married?!@#$' The bleep from your phone made you smile again, and you reached for it, reading his text.

'Crazy as shit! We're not old enough for this,' you ignored the first half of the text on purpose. You missed him, but you weren't ready to let him know that yet.

'I keep saying this to Harrison, but he doesn't listen to me lol. But they love each other very much. Harrison showed me his speech, and I cried like a baby,' he said, and you laughed, remembering how easy it was for him to cry. He had a playlist just for that.

'Well, It's not that hard to make you cry lol. I chose not to hear Anna's speech. I wanted to be a surprise,' you confessed. She told you it would be very emotional, so you decided to enjoy with everyone else at the party.

'I don't cry that easily. I didn't even cry in my last movie,' he said, and you remembered you didn't watch the movie with him because the release happened when you were not talking.

'Congratulations on the movie, btw. I heard it's very good,' you said, confessing you didn't watch it. The real reason for you not to watch you weren't confessing. You didn't wanna hear see him or hear his voice. It was too painful.

'You didn't watch it yet? 😱' he asked, and you could see the shocked and offended look on his face.

'I'm sorry. I didn't have time,' you lied.

'We need to change this! This is unacceptable!' he said, and you wanted to invite him over to solve things once and for all. You wanted to sit in front of the TV, with Tom by your side, like you always did, and watch as many movies as possible.

'I'm going to bed now. See you tomorrow at the party,' you cut him off before he could ask anything else, and Tom noticed that. Because in one minute he was smiling at his cellphone, just about to ask you to watch a movie with him, and now he was staring at your last text, questioning everything he could've said or done to make things different.

"Hey, mate. Are you okay?" Harry asked, entering the TV room, and seeing his brother with a weird face, ignoring the TV.

"Yeah. Just...talked to Y/N," he said, pointing at his phone.

"Really? How did it go?" Harry asked, genuinely interested. He saw his brother whining and moping around the house for the last three months. After the pictures got released, Tom freaked out. He had to go to therapy, you stopped coming to their house, and he wasn't that cheerful guy anymore. Now, he was in a good place. Not like before, but he was getting there. And talk to you was the last step to make everything go back to normal.

"It was going back to normal, but then she shut me down. Not aggressively. She just didn't give me the opportunity to make things as normal as before," he said.

"Oh! I'm sorry, man. But that is better than nothing, right?" Harry shrugged. "And you are seeing her tomorrow. Who knows what can happen?" he smiled, and his brother did the same.

To say that this night was hard was an understatement. Tom couldn't sleep. He scrolled through his entire timeline on Instagram, watched a movie, then another one, ate, played video game, and when there was nothing else to do, he decided that 5am was a good time to go to the gym. But not even that helped him relax. He could feel every fiber in his body suffering from anxiety. Tea with his mom after lunch was the only thing that kept his mind calm for a few hours. After that, he went home to get ready for the party. 

There was no set of clothes in his closet that worked. Nothing was good enough. "Hey..." Anna called him from the door. "Want some help?" she offered.

"No. I know you have other things to do. I don't wanna bother you," he said with a smile.

"Not a chance. Everything is settled and I'm ready. Harrison is the one taking forever," she rolled her eyes. "I can help you," she said, getting into his room, and sitting in his bed. "What are your choices?" she asked.

"I don't have any," he scratched his neck, a little embarrassed.

"I think I know what to do," she said, getting up and going through his closet. "It will be simple..." she said, picking up a black pair of jeans and throwing at him. "But very cute..." she picked a black shirt.

"How can a black shirt with a black pair of jeans be cute?" he asked, looking at the clothes she gave him.

"Please..." she rolled her eyes. "You'll look cute," she picked a black cardigan, that he rarely used, and gave it to him. "And will match with the maid of honor, cause she's wearing black too," she finally gave him a white sneaker and a pair of glasses that he liked to use as a fashion statement.

"I'll match the maid of honor?" he asked, biting his bottom lip, trying not to smile.

"Perfectly!" Anna said with a happy smile.

Tom looked at the ground. "I talked to her yesterday," he said, putting the clothes on the bed before Anna could leave.

"And?" Anna said expectantly.

"I was just telling her she didn't need to talk to me today if she didn't want to. But, she said she was okay talking to me," his shrug was trying to sound like he didn't care, but his smile was showing the truth.

"I think you two will work things out," Anna said with a smile, leaning in the doorway.

"I hope so. I miss her so much, it's physically painful sometimes," he confessed with a sad voice.

"I know. I'm rooting for you," Anna said, going to him, and giving him a hug.

"Thanks," he said, and she smiled, leaving him alone.

Soon, the house was getting crowded. The backyard was decorated with fairy lights and wooden furniture. The waiters and waitresses walked around the house, serving beer and pizza.

Tom tried to distract himself, talking to as many people as he could. His mom, dad, and brothers were there since they were practically Harrison's family. His mom was feeling his son's anxiety.

"Are you okay?" she whispered to him.

"Great," he said, but his voice sounded anxious. He kept moving his weight from one foot to another. "She'll be here soon," he said.

"I know. And you'll let her be. Otherwise, you'll scare her," she said.

"Yeah...sure," he agreed. He glanced at the door as he did at least fifty times in the last hour, and for his surprise, this time you were there, taking off your jacket, revealing the black floral dress Anna said you would wear. And you two were matching. Tom's smile grew wilder unconsciously. You talked to some guests that were inside the house and then went outside, joining Anna and Harrison. You looked like an angel. Tom couldn't believe he survived all this time away from you. You looked at him for a second, and he saw Anna whispering something to you. You smiled, widely, and Tom felt like he had won the night.

You walked toward him, going to talk to his family. You didn't see Nikki for so long. You missed drinking tea with her, talking about your life, asking for advice.

"Hey, Ms. Holland," you greeted her.

"Hi, sweetie. Long time, no see,' she said, hugging you.

"Yeah. I was...busy," you said, looking at Tom for a split second and then to her again.

"I imagined. How is everything going? College. Work. Life?" she asked.

"Pretty much the same. I meant to call you a few times in the last months, but I didn't wanna bother you," you said sincerely. You really thought about calling and talking to her.

"Don't be silly. I would've loved talking to you," she said with a kind smile. "Let's have lunch this week. What do you think?"

"I would like that very much," you said, relieved that she didn't hate you after all the drama.

"Dom, look who is here," she said, calling her husband's attention. He said goodbye to the person he was talking to, engaging in conversation with you two. Sometimes your eyes met Tom's, and he noticed a sparkle in them every time you did. He didn't say anything while you were talking to his parents. He didn't want to upset you. "If you excuse us, darling, we're gonna talk to some friends," Nikki said, caressing your arm.

"Sure, go ahead," you said with a smile. They left, and it was just you and Tom.

"Hi," he said softly, trying to contain his excitement.

"Hey," you said, scratching the label of the bottle you were holding, anxiously.

"You look really good," he said, drinking a sip of his beer after.

"Thanks. You too," you were avoiding his eyes.

"Anna helped me choose this," he pointed to his clothes.

"It looks good," you smiled, finally looking in his eyes.

Tom couldn't hold it anymore. His mind wanted to keep it cool, but his mouth was faster. "I miss you. Everyday," he said. You looked at him, and all your worries were dead. All you could think was how much you missed him and how much you wanted him back in your life.

"I..." you started.

"Okay, everyone...it's toast time," Anna said clinking her glass with a fork. You and Tom looked at each other. Tom was afraid he had ruined his only chance. You were sad cause you couldn't tell him you missed him too.

"I'll go first," Harrison said, and some people cheered. "So...Anna. What can I talk about Anna?" he joked. "I'm kidding. I'll just say that the first time Y/N brought you around," he looked at you, raising his bottle, and you smiled. "That day, I knew I would marry you. I didn't say anything cause we were all friends, and I didn't want to scare you. But then, we were watching England's game at the 2018 World Cup, and when we lost, you cried. At that moment, I knew I had do something to make you mine, cause we were made for each other. Two months later I asked you out, and we started dating. Now I'm happy to say that we're gonna cry over the English team together, forever," he said the last part, looking at her. Everyone around cheered and applauded them and Anna gave him a quick kiss.

"Okay, now it's my turn," Anna said, taking a step forward. She was a showoff. "Are you ready to cry?" she asked, looking at him, and he smiled, nodding. I thought I would never find someone that I loved enough to ignore their flaws and accept spending my life with them. Unlike from you, when we first met, I thought great eyes, great body," she laughed, looking at him. "We could be friends. I mean, Tom and Y/N were always together. It wasn't like we could ignore each other," she said, and you and Tom looked at each other. A bit of sadness in your eyes, thinking about how that part wasn't true anymore. "But then, I got to meet you better, I started to see your flaws, and yet, dislike you wasn't an option even if I tried. My grandma always said 'we like because...we love despite...' I like you because you're nice to me, you are my best friend and you always search for me in a room when someone tells something funny, just to see my reaction. And I love you despite you being the last one to get ready, your gym schedule, and all the times you yell 'Wonderwall' in my ear, even though you know I hate this song," she finished. Her eyes were glistening with tears, just like everybody else. It took a few seconds for people to start cheering and clapping them. Harrison hugged her, with a wide and bright smile.

"Great speech," you said, going to her and Harrison, and hugging them. Tom following right behind you.

"I almost cried again," Tom said, hugging Harrison.

"Almost?" Anna asked, her thumbs brushing the corner of his eyes, cleaning a tear that threatened to fall.

"It was a really good speech," he defended himself.

"Thanks," she smiled. "We're gonna talk to...some people. We see you guys later?" she said holding your hand, and you and Tom nodded.

"We're gonna eat something," he said, resting his hand on your lower back, and they left. "Can we talk?" he asked, once Harrison and Anna left.

 "Yeah, sure!" you said, and he noticed the anxiety in your voice. At least he wasn't the only one that was afraid.

He walked to his room, opening the door so you could go in first. You walked to the window, looking at the party that was happening downstairs.

"It looks really good from here," you said. "They are so happy," you smiled, watching Harrison and Anna dance together.

"I'm happy to see you," he said, cutting you off. "I've missed you. Everyone did," his hands were in his pockets, and he was trying to stay calm even though his heart was loud in his ear.

"I missed everyone too. It was good to see your mom," you said, fidgeting with the fabric of your dress. The room went silent. Tom didn't wanna push you, but he wanted to be with you and talk like before. Maybe he didn't think this through. The only noise was the music from the party. "I'm sorry," you said, taking a step forward, and Tom looked at you, waiting. You were nervous. "I'm sorry for pushing you away the way I did," your voice was heavy. "We were both sad and broken-hearted, and I was selfish. I only thought about the pain I was feeling. I'm sorry for ignoring your feelings," you said, and Tom felt his heart beating faster. He never thought about that night this way. He always thought about how much pain he caused you and how guilty he was feeling.

"I should've talked to you. I was so focused on the reasons why we couldn't be together," Tom said, taking a step in your direction. "I never thought about the reasons why we could," he confessed. These last three months he thought a lot about what he did wrong, and not talking to you sooner, giving you the chance to decide if you two could work, was his biggest mistake. "I was a coward. With you, with me, with that girl," his voice was trembling. "And I regret every day for what I did," he finished. You were looking at him, and your expression was unreadable. Even for him, that knew you for half of his life.

"I love you, and I," you started, but then you stopped. Your eyes blinking heavily. "I love you," you repeated after a few seconds, touching your lips with your fingers, looking away from him. It was like you could touch every word. "I...I love you!" you said like you just realized that. You had told him that before, but you were so hurt that you never let yourself feel that completely. Now, standing here, with nothing in your way, that was all you could feel. "I love you..." you smiled, looking at Tom that still had a lost look in his face. "I love you!" you said one last time like you were declaring your feelings for him.

Without giving you a chance to say it again, Tom walked the two steps that were keeping you apart, holding your face in his hands, and kissing you. It was urgent and frantic at first, but then you felt your heart slowing down and it was like the entire world was in slow motion. Your hand went to his waist, holding his sweater, while his fingers tangled in your hair, one of his hands holding your neck, deepening, even more, the kiss.

"I love you too," he whispered against your lips, breaking the kiss. He smiled, looking into your eyes. "And I really think we should go on a date."

~

1 year and 7 months later...

"Lunch is ready," Sam called from the kitchen, and soon footsteps and a door closing were heard upstairs.

"Y/N! You're cheating!" Tom yelled.

"Stop whining. I just closed the door!" you yelled back, running down the stair.

"Racing again?" Sam asked, seeing you enter the kitchen breathless.

"He said he would clean the room if I won," you shrugged. You yelped, feeling Tom lifting you up by the waist. "NO! PUT ME DOWN!" you yelled. 

"You cheated!" he said, carrying you to the backyard and locking you out. He pointed and laughed at you through the glass door.

"I can't believe you are doing this. Let me in. I'm hungry!" you said, crossing your arms on your chest.

"If you wanna get in you'll have to do three things first," he said.

"They are being idiots again?" Harry asked entering the kitchen and seeing you two.

"What's going on?" Harrison asked, and Harry pointed to the glass door.

"Idiots," Anna said sitting on a chair around the dinner table.

"What three things?" you asked.

"First, you'll apologize for cheating," he said and you rolled your eyes. "Second, you'll help me clean the room. And third," he put his hand on his pocket, taking out a black velvet box. He opened the box, revealing a ring, and your eyes grew wider, noticing what was happening. "Marry me?" he said, and you covered your mouth in shock, just like everyone else behind him.

"Yes!" you said, feeling your eyes burning. "Yesyesyes!" you repeated, nodding frantically, while he opened the door, pulling you into a hug.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

[angellesword]

Silver Dust

Summary: Yoongi proposed to you and you're contemplating whether to say yes or no.

Pairing: Songwriter Yoongi x Gender Neutral Reader

Genre: Fluff, fluff, and fluff.

Word count: 6.7k

Warnings/ author's note: I wrote like a whole ass song using Cypher pt.4 beat lmaooo, kissing, minor smut, mention of rape, abuse, killings, and corruption.

<<< The first meeting >>>

The first time you met Yoongi's eyes wasn't really that special.

There was no sign of your heart skipping a single beat, if there was, you're 100% sure he's not the reason behind it because 1) you pretty much believed it's just the effect of drinking three shots of espresso in one sitting. 2) You were damn nervous since your prelim grades were already out.

You didn't even feel any butterfly in your stomach, nor did your world light up—and this, to be honest, was understandable, especially when Yoongi's eyes were dead as fuck. You figured that if it wasn't for your shared seven am class, he would probably still be lying in bed.

"The professor said you're my partner for this project." Even the first time you heard his voice wasn't special.

If there's one thing that made Yoongi Yoongi, it's his monotonous voice. At first, you thought he just didn't like the idea that you two were stuck together to work on a project. (Again, it's understandable) You also found it ridiculous that your professor actually paired you with a stranger.

Well, it's not like you knew Yoongi. Unless knowing his full name counted. But really, it's inevitable since the two of you went to the same classes since freshman year (you're a senior now) apart from that, almost all your professors never failed to voice out their adoration for him.

You first heard his name when your history instructor made it very clear that Min Yoongi's works would be his "standard" when it came to grading your individual projects. In short, if Yoongi got an A, you and your classmates should also either get an A or an A+ or else, you're considered 'failed.'

It’s kind of fucked up, really. Most of you knew that Min Yoongi was a monster when it came to collecting As. Unfair. All he did during class lectures was sleep and yet, he still managed to be number one.

Huh. It must be awesome to be God's favorite.

There was also this one time when one of your professors, Mr. Bang, cried when he asked Yoongi to read his essay in front. The smart boy was reluctant at first. He despised exposure, that's for sure. However, the professor's so persistent that Yoongi obliged just to make the annoying instructor shut up.

You're actually glad Mr. Bang managed to persuade Yoongi. His speech about finding yourself and being happy made Mr. Bang and almost everyone in your class cry. Yoongi transformed into a completely different person the moment he started his speech. Monotonous Voice? Gone.

You figured that yes, your heart didn't skip a beat when you first caught his eyes, but boy did your heart hurt when those simple words leaving his mouth turned into a piece of art.

<<< Your one brain cell >>>>

The second time you met Yoongi's eyes was in front of his house. The two of you decided to work on your project at the school's library, however the place was loaded with students cramming their paper works and you just couldn't bear to hear another person aggressively typing on their laptop anymore. You were sick of it.

"Uh, hi?" you awkwardly smiled at the blond man in front of you.

You weren't quite sure how to react when he was just staring at you blankly. Yoongi's lips were pursed together and that alone made you uncomfortable.

"We were supposed to meet at the library..." He raised his brow as if he wanted to know how the hell did you know where he lives? And were you a fucking stalker?

"I..." You instantly trailed off when he narrowed his brow more. Man, he sure was intimidating. The lack of spark in his eyes made you wince. The man in front of you had thick, low set brows—making them appear almost completely straight. (Poker face alert)

You swallowed the thick lump in your throat before trying to form a coherent sentence.

"There...people. I mean, the library is packed with uh, people."

"So you just decided to show up in my house?"

His question made you quiver. This was such a wrong move. Of course you couldn’t just knock on his door like this; you two were not even friends!

"I'm sorry. I just didn't know any other place and I..." You heaved a deep sigh. "I saw your friend Jeongguk and he told me where you live—“

"Right." He cut you off by opening the door wide. Of course it had to be Jeongguk. That little shit really knew how to annoy Yoongi.

"Holly peed on the couch so there's no way we can work there. Is my room okay to you?" Despite not seeing his face, you instantly knew that Yoongi's question was directed at you. He was leading the way inside his house and you're behind him, quietly following where he's going.

Yoongi's house was not that big, but it's a lovely and comfortable place. Unlike your dorm, you felt at home here. It's probably the indoor plants that made the place more alive. You suddenly wondered if he's living with someone. Did the love of his life stay here? Or did he have a roommate? You're adamant that he lived alone; otherwise all these plants would probably be dead.

You weren't really a judgmental person, you're rather logical. Yoongi slept during class hours; he couldn't be bothered by moving a single inch, too. You guessed that he hated any form of activity and maybe, that included watering plants.

You were about to ask him if he lived alone when your voice had been overpowered by loud, boisterous bark.

"Oh! Hello there, little guy..." A giggle escaped from your lips when a small dog went your way to lick your exposed legs.

You squatted in front of the puppy so you could pet his furry head.

"Holly, no!" Yoongi called the attention of the brown poodle, but it couldn't care less. The dog named Holly still continued to ask for your affection.

"Holly!"

You almost whined when Yoongi took Holly away from you. You're sure the puppy hated it too. But Yoongi told you that his pet needed to learn his lesson first. The naughty dog really peed on the couch right after his bathroom training. Yikes!

Yoongi let you inside his room after your little encounter with Holly. The vibe of his room contradicted the overall theme of the house, but you had expected it to be this way nonetheless.

His bedroom walls were painted dark blue, too dark it's almost close to black. There's nothing much in his room except a single bed, a study area with lots of technical devices, and oh!

Amusement danced in your eyes when you noticed different manga books on his shelf. You didn't think that Yoongi was the type of person who would dwell on such things, but what really caught your attention was his album collection.

"You like Epik High!?" you couldn't help your enthusiasm when your eyes found the band's album called Shoebox resting on the black metallic shelf near his bed. Damn. Shoebox was your best-loved album of all time! You liked all songs by Epik High, however nothing could ever top the said album for you. Your ultimate favorite song had to be Amor Fatti. That song slapped, though its meaning was often misunderstood by many.

Yoongi only spared you a few glances from the moment you showed into his house, this time, however, he was looking at you intently and for the first time, you saw him smile, a shy one at that.

"Yeah...they're the reason why I write songs..." He whispered, too soft you barely heard it.

You even blinked. Did you hear him right?

"Oh, you're a songwriter?" You flashed a loop-sided smile that made Yoongi's cheeks red.

"Uh, well...it's just what I like to do during my free time."

You nodded and hummed, your eyes were still busy roaming around his room when an idea popped in your mind.

"So why don't we make use of your talent and write a song for this project?" You caught Yoongi's eyes again, but this time, it didn't look dead, truthfully, his pupils dilated when he heard what you just said.

You instantly defended your suggestion.

"I mean, we don't really have a plan, and now we have. I think you're pretty good at it so it'll make our jobs easier. I can sing, don't worry..."

You hated saying that, though you didn't have a choice. You needed to convince him that producing a song would be such a good idea.

Your professor said you needed to make something, anything that would elicit a reaction from him and your classmates. This was a psychology class and your topic for midterm was all about emotions. Mr. Kim Seokjin, your professor, was tired of doing all the talking, especially because your class was unresponsive, so to save his voice (and brain cells probably) he told the whole class that the remaining meeting for midterm would be about his students showcasing their talents that wold, like what you had said, gain extreme emotions from your classmates. It's actually easy except that you're paired with someone you were not close with. On top of that, the presentation of the project shouldn't exceed ten minutes, and lastly, it should be personal.

You spent days thinking about what you and your partner could do, but your brain cells weren't cooperating since you only had two of it, the first one was sleeping and the other only knew the words "Nothing, bitch."

And so now that your former brain cell decided to wake up and save you from your misery of being stupid (even if it's just for good three minutes) you're willing to take it.

Before your 180 seconds ran out, you immediately started blabbing words to convince Yoongi to produce a song with you.

And guess what? Your convincing power must be really good (or maybe you're just as annoying as Mr. Bang and Yoongi just wanted you to shut up too) but hey, at least Yoongi agreed!

<<< Weirdo >>>

The third time you met Yoongi's eyes—well, it's not really the third time. You had actually lost count on how many times your eyes locked with each other. Sometimes, it's a conscious act, but most of the time, it's not. You guys would just find yourselves staring into each other's eyes when you didn't know what lyrics to write next.

Producing a song was not as easy as what you thought it would be. It had been three weeks since the two of you started this project. Yoongi's room had been your workplace ever since. He had the equipment you needed plus it's easier to meet here since your dorm was just meters away from his house.

"My damn throat hurts like hell!" You groaned before collapsing on top of Yoongi's bed.

The past three weeks you spent with Yoongi made the two of you start a beautiful friendship. Admittedly, it's not really beautiful since most of the time; you're bickering at each other. You and Yoongi were so different from each other. He liked starting his work early because he wanted to finish it early. You, on the other hand, were his exact opposite. You're the play now, work later type of person and Yoongi hated it so much. While he practiced delayed gratification, you sat there and ruined everything.

You were always on his bed, cuddling his pet Holly. That's most likely the reason why it's only been two days since you two finished the song. It took almost three weeks because of your procrastinating ass, and now, you suffered. The two of you only had a week before you performed this in front of your class. Yoongi was pissed off at you for the reason that you still hadn't finished memorizing the lyrics and your voice was already strained.

“If I ever see you drinking cold water again, I will fucking drown your ass on that water as I behead you, and then I will freeze your head." Yoongi warned as he joined you in bed.

"Ohhh, morbid. I like that..." You shrugged your shoulders and then you buried your face on his chest—making him groan in irritation.

"You weirdo, get away from me!"

"No..." You laughed because Yoongi was the weird one here. He told you not to touch him or stay close to him, but at the same time, he's wrapping his arm on your waist.

You wondered if this was okay, it's just been three weeks since the two of you had been formally introduced, and yet, you found comfort here. On his bed. In his arms.

You smiled to yourself, yes, Yoongi was a weirdo, but so were you.

<<< Namjoon’s Party >>>>

What you considered as the fourth time you met Yoongi’s eyes was also the first time he called you by your given name.

“You feel so good…” He moaned your name on your neck, his hands were tightly wrapped around your waist—enjoying your body heat.

You suddenly thought if dragging Yoongi into this party was the best idea. Right now, you had no freaking clue how to act. You’re drunk, but not too drunk to not think about the consequences of this night. But damn, you’re just a human. A horny human! How could you possibly stop Yoongi when he’s using his soft lips to paint bruises on your neck!?

You could just push him away and you knew that, though you were also aware that your mind and heart wouldn’t want that, not when you liked what he’s doing to you.

“Namjoon’s party sucks.”

“Just not your crowd, weirdo...” You chuckled. Oh, thank heavens for Namjoon. He was one of your childhood friends and frankly, the song you and Yoongi produced wouldn’t be finished without the help of Namjoon. So when that friend of yours texted you to come to his birthday party, you immediately agreed. Fortunately, you didn’t have to force your one brain cell to wake up just so you could convince Yoongi to go with you.

This wasn’t what Yoongi likesd he hated parties because he didn’t want to talk to stupid people and drunken people were stupid people. Perhaps the only reason why Yoongi was here was because he couldn’t turn down Namjoon—not after all your friend’s genius advice.

“I hate this place.” Yoongi added, he’s now looking at you with sparks in his eyes—or maybe you’re just drunk. Too intoxicated to feel and see anything other than the fact that Yoongi’s already grinding at you.

You huffed; suddenly offended by the clothes you’re wearing. Were you supposed to wear this when all you wanted was to feel Yoongi’s touch on your bare skin?

“We’re here for Namjoon—”

“God, can’t you take the hint?” Yoongi cut you off by pouting.

You blinked. Did this weirdo just pout? And oh, his lips…his lips were hot….hot against your own mouth.

“Yoongi….” You breathed, your eyes were too hazy to see his gummy smile.

“Let’s get the hell out of this place…”

That night, you once again lost count as to how many times you met his eyes. You also figured out that his eyes looked best the most when he’s down on his knees, facing your hips.

<<< The Performance >>>

You were expecting to meet Yoongi’s eyes as soon as you opened your very own one; however panic and fear consumed your whole being that you immediately ran out of Yoongi’s room. You’re too frightened to let him see you that you hurriedly put your clothes on and left his house.

It’s not like it was going to change the fact that you slept with your classmate in Psychology, however, you were scared. Scared to see his eyes back to being dead when just last night, the moon and the stars were there, staring at you like you’re not just a dust in this universe, but the whole universe.

Besides, you had one logical reason: you needed to pick up your costume for your upcoming performance with Yoongi. Taehyung, your designer friend was only available till nine in the morning, so you literally had to run like a lunatic right after you woke up from your cozy sleep on Yoongi’s bed.

Your outfit was perfect. Damn, Taehyung really had a talent when it came to this. Your confidence level was boosted just by wearing the clothes your great friend designed. You thought you’re finally ready to perform the song you and Yoongi produced for one month.

You were so ready, but your heart was not…

Just…where the hell was Yoongi? It had been two days since you last saw him. You hadn’t heard any news from him since you left his apartment the day after Namjoon’s party. Was he mad at you for leaving? Or did he even care?

You had fifteen minutes left before Mr. Kim Seokjin, your psychology professor, marked your grades zero.

“Fucking Min Yoongi, where the hell are you?” You grimaced when your call was directed on his phone’s voicemail.

You had two options: fake death so you wouldn’t have to perform, or kill Mr. Kim Seokjin. (They wouldn’t probably notice if you stabbed your professor on his side since most of them were busy preparing for their own presentations.)

But just as you’re about to resort to your latter option, Yoongi’s familiar scent immediately attacked your nose. You looked back only for you to cancel killing Mr. Kim Seokjin and just choose your former option.

God, how could it be possible for you to still want to stay alive when Min Yoongi was killing you with his looks? Gone was his light blond hair, but you’re not complaining since his now black curly hair was much much better than the previous one.

“Sorry I’m late. Holly peed on the couch again…” His multiple earrings looked too damn good on him. You’re silly; you’re fucking silly because you worried for nothing. Yoongi was still Yoongi, and the sparks in his eyes were still visible.

“It’s okay, we still have time…” You smiled as if the thought of murdering your professor didn’t just cross your mind. Oh well, nothing else mattered when Yoongi was here, right?

Mr. Kim Seokjin said that you and Yoongi would be the last performers for this day, which meant you still had at least half an hour left to stare at Yoongi like a vampire wanting to drink blood. But time flies fast when you’re busy with something. Thirty minutes ago, you were just ogling at your partner, right now, you were in front of the class, spitting fire with your partner.

The first verse of your produced song was rapped by Yoongi. Scratch that, Agust D was in front of you and not Yoongi. Your partner told you that he preferred to be called Agust D whenever he was performing his rap song.

Robber! Robber!

Sorry bae

Killer! Killer!

Sorry bae

Addiction—diction--diction

Sorry bae

“Oh! The court’s case you got away?”

Your partner smirked before proceeding to the next verse. You, on the other hand, stood there to hype the crowd.

You always get away

I’m sorry bae

You smoke cocaine but get away

Justice won’t be served

I’m sorry bae

Everything, everything, everything

Unfair

You were nervous. The next verse was assigned to you. The plan was that you only had to sing the chorus part, though Yoongi had another idea. He wanted you to go out of your comfort zone and try something new. So here you were, rapping.

You commit the same sin

Sorry bae

Your silence they love it

Sorry bae

I see same pigs on the senate

Boring bae

Your vote they bought and they’re not

Sorry bae

Nothing’s new but rich people’s car are

Brand new

Sorry bae

You can’t be illiterate coz they take advantage

Before you know it, you’re one of the reasons

Why innocents are salvage

Politicians know your name

But after the election they act like they don’t know your name!

You and Yoongi both performed the chorus part. It looked like the crowd was enjoying your presentation because they also started shouting and hyping you up.

They love, they love, they love themselves

They know, they know your sufferings

But they don’t they don’t and will never care

Youth wake up, stand up, we should fight the state! Brr!

The following verse was rapped by Yoongi again. You took your time to feel yourself as you discreetly watched the reaction of the people in front of you. A whole month of stress and worry seemed to pay off. You even locked eyes with Park Jimin, one of your most-respected classmates; he cheered for you and that was enough for you to successfully perform the next verse.

I wanna get job (job, job, job)

But I can’t get on the spotlight

Yeah I wanna have a good life!

But my parent’s wings are cozy

I just wanna hide

It’s okay I have time

My trust fund won’t end

So I can still live

And breathe while I finish this game

Called being “dependent”

All night, all day

All night, all day

Don’t care, don’t care, don’t care!

The next verse was easy to execute since you and Yoongi both rapped it. You were facing each other and suddenly, you forgot that there were eyes watching you. Min Yoongi caressed your cheeks once. You smiled as you sensually rolled your body.

Who plays by the rule?

No one!

Who wants to grab a woman's hair?

Husband!

Yoongi slightly pulled your hair this time. You grimaced, but you still continued rapping.

He has mistress so the wife’s depressed

He forgot about their kids but that’s okay

She can cover up for him like how

She can cover her bruise and play cool

As she says “I love him, anyway.”

You moved away from your partner. Your mood instantly changed as you approached the next verse. This one’s challenging to write. Your heart was breaking as you sang.

The other woman on the street has been pulled

By the stranger claiming she’s wet like a pool

She should be thankful since this will feel like

a dream come true

Lick it lick it right, you can take it, right?

She cried and cried and cried, that should be a sign

But “High five!” he told the other man

As the woman cried, her voice is too loud

So they killed her that night.

You let out your frustration by growling and jumping. Min Yoongi was also lost in his own world as he rapped—raising his middle finger from time to time.

They love, they love, they love themselves

They know, they know your sufferings

But they don’t they don’t and will never care

You’re horny, you fucked up! Go on and hate yourself! Brr!

It’s Yoongi’s own verse again. His mood shifted too. If you weren’t part of this performance, you would probably just stare at him. Goddamn, Min Yoongi had his own way of expressing himself.

Back back to the killings!

Your guns check

Call me when you need a gunman I can kill

Even for a dollar

Hashtag no conscience

I don’t believe in God so hell sounds okay

I’ll be with my gang gang

So hell won’t be boring!

The demon you summon

so money won’t be your worry

Payday, paycheck so I can have that rolex

He pointed the rolex on his wrist. It’s not an authentic one, but that’s not the point. Clearly, he just wanted everyone to see that there were other ways to “look cool.” However, many people still chose to listen and be their own demons.

Click clack to the bang bang

Your time has run out.

Click clack here’s my gun

I’m so high on drugs

I see you as a rat

They can control me with money

So you take these four shots

Your life is like a fruit fly

“I can’t understand. Why is it so easy for them?” This was Min Yoongi’s question to you. He asked this while you two were writing the following verse. He hated a lot of things, though he could forgive and tolerate some of it easily. However, he clearly told you that he could never treat someone right if that person used violence.

Click clack to the bang, you and you

Wait your turn

Shit! You little boy

Come here look at the blood

How? You’re asking me?

I don’t know, you’re a man you should know how

He also told you how much he hated this unfair world. He respected women more than ever, but Yoongi was an advocate of both equality and equity. Why can’t boys cry? Are we robots? These were some of his questions too.

If this is the kind of world we live in

I don't wanna live at all

If I exist for your pleasure

then I refuse to accept this call

You joined Yoongi singing the last verse of the song.

They love, they love, they love themselves

They know, they know your sufferings

But they don’t they don’t and will never care

Yo’ human, are you human? If yes then help us save this place!

By the time you finish the song, everyone’s clapping their hands and cheering for you and your partner. You swore you even saw Mr. Kim Seokjin wrote “100” on your paper.

You smiled. The performance was over, contrarily, the attraction you felt for your partner was only starting.

<<< Kimchi and Other Sauces >>>>

The first time you met Yoongi’s pleading eyes was during dinner time. After your performance in Mr. Kim Seokjin’s class, your partner said that the two of you should celebrate this success. Of course you immediately agreed, but that did not mean you were willing to spend money.

“I swear to God, Yoongi…if you ever bring me to a fine-dining restaurant, I will fucking kill you.”

You were not joking. You had student loans to pay so you couldn’t afford to spend a hundred dollar for a fucking spaghetti and sparkling water.

“Chill, you weirdo. We can just—” He stopped mid-sentence because a brilliant idea just popped into his mind.

“What? You’re not planning a yacht dinner date, are you!?” You started freaking out and the uneasiness you felt only intensified when Yoongi smirked.

“Actually, I was planning to…you know…maybe…make you eat my cum.” He simply shrugged his shoulders.

He said it so casually that you just stared at him. Was he serious or were you supposed to be laughing now? You could feel your blood rushing. You were so confused. Excited. Worried.

After what it felt like forever, the staring contest with Yoongi finally ended. He offered his hands and of course, you immediately took it. The both of you rushed toward his big, black motorbike. Yoongi only brought one helmet so he told you to just wear it. The ride to his house wasn’t that far, anyway.

The both of you were in a hurry. Countless profanities were thrown at him for driving hastily; Yoongi even parked his motorbike in a reckless way. Still, you two couldn’t care less, especially Yoongi. How could he? Huh, definitely not after you stroked his cock while driving. That’s really not a smart move, at least not when Yoongi’s mother welcomed the both of you just as Yoongi opened his apartment’s door.

“Eomma! What are you doing here?!” Clearly, your partner wasn’t expecting to see his own mother. It’s pretty obvious since Yoongi’s jaw dropped and his neck was slowly turning red.

“You brat! Why wouldn’t I be here? This is my house!” You knew you weren’t supposed to laugh, however it’s hard to control yourself when Yoongi’s being hit by his own mother while he was trying to cover the bulge on his pants.

“Eommoni! Please! I have a guest!” Yoongi got away from his own mother by hiding himself behind your small frame.

“What—oh!” His mother’s eyes widened when she saw you. She seemed surprised to see Yoongi bring someone. Of course, Yoongi had never brought his friends home. Not even once. At this point, his mother was actually convinced that her son was allergic to human beings.

“I didn’t know that Yoongi is friends with someone as charming as you…” The frightening aura of his mother was completely gone. The older woman engulfed you into a tight, warm hug as she asked your name. You answered her with a smile on your lips.

Yoongi’s mom led you in the kitchen. Actually, you tagged along with her. She wanted to prepare a meal for you and her son, but of course, you couldn’t just sit still and look pretty. As a sign of respect, you needed to help her. Besides, you loved kitchen works, though you’re pretty sure cooking hated every fiber of your being.

The older woman just asked you to set up the table because according to her, she was always in charge of cooking. She also told you to be prepared because you’d surely forget your name once you tasted her award-winning Sam Gae Tang or that chicken soup with ginseng. Hoseok, one of your best friends, made the best chicken soup so your standard was kind of high. For you, nothing could beat Hoseok, but we’ll just have to see.

“Please be kind to my mother…”

Yoongi’s voice and eyes were pleading as he sat beside you. The food was already prepared and the two of you were ready to eat. You were just waiting for Yoongi’s mom to finish washing her hands.

You just raised your brows at the man beside you, clearly not understanding why he’s pleading because really, you knew how to respect elders.

Yoongi sighed.

“My mom is a terrible cook. Her soup tastes like shit, man…” Yoongi shook his head like a traumatized kid. He even bit his lower lip.

You’re about to say something, but you heard his mother’s footsteps, meaning, if you spoke, she might hear you, and so you just kept your mouth shut. You’re expecting Yoongi to do the same, though he just leaned on your shoulders—his eyes were still begging.

“Please, baby? Just put a lot of kimchi and other sauces on your soup to get rid of the awful taste. Can you do that for me?”

You simply nodded. That night, you realized that Yoongi was willing to do everything just to make someone he loved happy. Days, weeks, months, and years passed and you still admired how every time you had dinner with him and his mother, Yoongi would urge you to put kimchi and other sauces on your chicken soup.

At this point, you were convinced you loved Min Yoongi. You had always loved cooking, hell, you were willing to lose your bachelor’s degree if that meant you would be good at cooking, because…

You, just like Yoongi’s mom, were a terrible cook. But Yoongi never complained nor did he ever put kimchi and other sauces on the food you cooked just for him.

<<< Silver Dust>>>>

The first time you asked Yoongi why he liked looking into your eyes was when the both of you were having a staring contest.

The wind was unbelievably cold tonight, clearly, you weren’t expecting to freeze in the middle of a summer night. The annoying weather led you into thinking if climbing on top of your boyfriend’s house’s roof was a good idea. Sure the stars were pretty, but you felt cold. Too cold.

“Do you know the story about the Window and the Mirror?” Yoongi asked out of the blue. He also pulled your body closer to him—making you grimace. The texture of the roof was hard on your back. You shook your head, why did you choose to lay on the roof without any blanket again? Sometimes, your choices in life were really questionable.

“Nah, what happened?” You’re never a fan of stories.

Yoongi sighed. He pulled you closer to him until your face was buried on his neck. Damn. He smelled like smoke and sex.

“Well, for starters, my father left us…”

Yoongi’s words monetarily made you stop breathing. You had known him for years now, but not once did you ever talk about his father. You were aware that his father left him and his mom, though you didn’t know the story behind it.

“My father was a good man and he always tells me he loves my mother more than ever. For the longest time of my life, I believed him. He never looked into anyone’s wife. He never had a mistress, but my father is selfish.”

You just hummed to let him know that you were listening.

He cleared his throat.

“Mom just wants a simple life and that’s why we never left Daegu. This is my home. Our home.” Yoongi’s grip on your shoulder tightened, he looked up in the sky—the stars were prettier when you were in Daegu.

“My father doesn’t like to be here, though. He loves the city. He craves city life. Ever since I was young, he kept telling my mom that they should move to Seoul. Abeonim hates farming. He calls our strawberry farm disgusting. Said he should become a CEO and not a stupid farmer.” Yoongi laughed bitterly. He could still remember the way his father said those words.

“And guess what? He fucking did. Min Hyun Sik, chief executive officer of Bighit Company…” Yoongi cackled and you gasped.

Min Hyun Sik was his father? That guy was like the richest man in South Korea! You wanted to confirm this news that he just dropped, however, you couldn’t move because Yoongi’s grip on your shoulders was so tight.

“He became someone with power by leaving my mother and I.” Yoongi repeated as his eyes darkened. He no longer found the stars pretty. For him they were just lights—shining to hurt his eyes.

“He just left a note like that was going to be enough. He didn’t even say sorry. The only words written on those notes are him telling me to go to University using the money he left.”

You bit your lower lip. His grip was really, really tight…

“He wants me to go to college so I can follow him in the city, and so I went to college. But it’s not because I want to follow him. I enrolled just so I can fucking drop out during my last year.”

You furrowed your brow. If that was Yoongi’s original plan, then how…how come he’s a college graduate now?

“That was the plan before I met you…” Yoongi’s grip on your shoulder loosens, giving you the opportunity to look into his eyes.

He smiled at you.

“So, the story of the Window and the Mirror?” He offered and you just nodded.

“There’s this rich man—”

“Richer than your dad?” You asked. He laughed.

“Fucking richer than my dad…” He left a chaste kiss on your mouth. You giggled. “Anyway, the man went to see a rabbi, some sort of Jewish teacher. Of course the rabbi asked him what he wanted and the rich man said he doesn’t know what to do with his life anymore.”

“Uh, duh? He should give us money!” You butted in again. Yoongi kissed you once more just to make you shut up.

“Unfortunately, the teacher didn’t tell the rich man to give you money, weirdo. The Rabbi just led him over to the window and asked him this.” Yoongi cleared his throat. “What can you see through the glass?”

“And what’s the response of the rich man, Mr. Min?”

“I can see men coming and going and a blind man begging for alms in the street.” Yoongi answered you. “The rabbi seemed content with his answers, so this time, the teacher led him into a large mirror to ask him another question...”

“What is the other question?” You pressed.

“The rabbi asked him this, baby…” Yoongi pressed his lips on your mouth before proceeding to the story. “When you look in this mirror, can you tell me what you see?”

“And?!” You pressed again.

“I can see myself…”

“Obviously.” You rolled your eyes. You just wanted to know the sense of this story.

“And you can’t see the others. Notice that the window and the mirror are both made of the same basic material, glass. You should compare yourself to these two kinds of glass. Poor, you saw other people and felt compassion for them. Rich — covered in silver — you see yourself.”

“Oh,” was all you could say.

Your boyfriend smiled at you.

“My father chose to look in the mirror and I almost did the same. I almost dropped out of college just because I want my father to see that having a degree is useless. But, baby, if I actually chose to drop out, I wouldn’t have met you. I wouldn’t be able to give my mother a better life. I wouldn’t be able to afford to hire a cook and who knows? If I drop out of college, I would probably still be eating my mom’s shitty chicken soup.” You laughed at that.

“I am just saying, I like to look into your eyes because it reminds me of a window. It made me see a lot of things—new opportunities. Because of you, I stopped being selfish. You removed the silver in the mirror; you turned the silver into dust.”

“I fucking love you!” This time, you initiated the kiss.

You kissed Min Yoongi so hard that when you pulled away, he’s desperately gasping for air.

“I fucking love you too.”

<<< The Proposal >>>>

After reminiscing some of your unforgettable moments with Min Yoongi, you finally looked into his eyes.

Yoongi proposed to you and you’re contemplating whether to say yes or no. Your boyfriend despised the crowd, but here he was, down on his knees—shakily holding a ring on his hand.

You examined his face. His lips were quivering, for the first time; you saw how vulnerable he looked. It’s as if his whole life depended on this, and to be honest, it did. Yoongi couldn’t imagine life without you.

“Baby, are you gonna say yes or no?” Yoongi knitted his brows together.

You chuckled. Typical, Yoongi.

“Please stand up…”

Your boyfriend looked at you with confused eyes. His heart started beating so fast he’s very sure it would explode.

“B-But why? Don’t you want to—“ He stammered.

“Just stand up, Yoongi.”

With a heavy heart, Yoongi followed what you wanted. Deep inside, Yoongi was already murdering his friend, Jeon Jeongguk. He just told Yoongi that proposing in a strange, busy city would win your heart.

You two were currently in New York, New York. Strangers were watching you, and Brooklyn Bridge served as your backdrop. Jeongguk said that if Yoongi proposed in a place where no one knew you, then it was a sure win because your mother wouldn’t be able to stop Yoongi. Your childhood crush or ex wouldn't be in the picture too so it was another win for Yoongi. But your boyfriend was starting to regret his decision. He shouldn’t have listened to Jeongguk. What did that dipshit even know about love?

“Yoongi, are you listening?”

“Huh?” Your boyfriend’s train of thoughts were suddenly halted when you spoke.

“I can’t believe you. I just said yes!” You shake Yoongi’s shoulder. It looked like he was still out of his mind and that made you anxious. What if…what if he decided you’re not worth it anymore? What if he didn’t want to marry you anymore?

“Baby, I can’t believe you too. Please give me your hands!” Yoongi exclaimed.

“Oh!” You exclaimed as well. What the hell! You were so apprehensive that you zoned out too!

“We’re both weirdos, do you know that?” Yoongi shook his head after putting the sparkling ring on your finger.

You laughed.

“Oh, just shut up and kiss me.”

“Gladly.”

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & Nancy

Ava: Has he told you? Nancy: Yeah Ava: How are you holding up? Nancy: better than he is Ava: Not saying much but Ava: that's something Nancy: how are you holding up then? Ava: It's been, a rollercoaster implies that it's in any way on the rails so not that, something as up and down and side to side Ava: tornado, perhaps Ava: but it's far from about me so I'm just here, you know Nancy: I know what you mean Ava: It's more to do with you than me Ava: so, what did he say exactly? Nancy: You know what he's like, just coming out with it Nancy: there's nothing for me to argue with Nancy: maybe if I had a clue then but now Ava: Yeah Ava: but none of us did Ava: I think mum was probably right, even if that's fucked Ava: taking it to the police wouldn't have done anything Nancy: She'd had talked her way out of it, his word against hers and he doesn't come across well when he's upset Ava: Exactly Ava: it's one of those legal grey areas Ava: morally black but you know Ava: can't get charged for that Nancy: I feel like shit, if I hadn't left it wouldn't have been her and none of this would be happening Ava: I know, but you have to try not to think like that Ava: she picked him, really Ava: he was angry and upset, with you, yeah, but Rio too and you know, everyone and everything Ava: but I don't think he would have pursued her, if he were in any state Ava: and she had her problems with you, but I don't think that's solely why she did it either Nancy: I know but he could've used any girl in Chelsea to get back at Rio, it was her because of me, that's all my thoughts keep coming back to Nancy: and no other girl would've used him like that for any reason Ava: We all let each other down Ava: sometimes you have to do what you have to do Ava: and then sometimes bad shit happens because of that Ava: Chloe wouldn't have felt the need to drop this if I weren't with James Ava: we could all just keep on not knowing Nancy: It's not your fault, Av, she hated you cos she hated me first Nancy: it's not like she's heartbroken over James Ava: Still, it wouldn't have happened, you were never going to be dating him Ava: but none of us can live beholden to her and the things she has over us, we shouldn't Ava: at least now, we aren't, she's played all her cards Nancy: Did Buster tell you she's already engaged? Ava: I heard Ava: I looked on Gen's profile and he's like her dad's age Ava: and really stereotypically Italian Nancy: Gross Nancy: I swear to god, she's not a real person Nancy: who does any of this? Ava: I think she does her hardest not to be Ava: fuck everyone else Ava: her parents are just Ava: at a total loss Ava: we say ours are ashamed of us but this is so real Ava: they've had more to do with James than her for years now Nancy: At least he's got their support Ava: I think they're just as scared that they'll lose contact as he is Nancy: Yeah, of course Ava: Did he say if he'd told Ri yet? Nancy: I asked, when I was at my angriest, before I really understood what the circumstances were Nancy: He wouldn't talk about her which either means he has and it didn't go well, or he's still working up to it Ava: She's going to know something is wrong, he can't hide anything from her Ava: and the test takes as long as it takes, I know he was waiting for that but I don't know how Nancy: Right now, I'm selfishly glad that she knows we barely talk so she won't ask me Ava: That's going to be Ava: not fun Ava: never mind how pregnant she is Nancy: Oh god, don't Nancy: I was going to come back for a while but maybe that'll make it worse Nancy: Like he'll think I'm just there to oversee his downfall or something Ava: You don't think that will happen, do you? Nancy: I don't think she'll leave him Nancy: But the old wounds this is gonna open up, even though nobody's disputing he didn't actually consent, when they're still dealing with everything that happened with Venus Nancy: add her hormones in and his way of reacting to literally anything Ava: Fucking hell Ava: you should come back, if you want to though Ava: regardless Nancy: Ri might need me Nancy: not that she'll admit it, obviously Ava: 'course Ava: I don't think it would hurt Nancy: I'm a crap babysitter but I'm a great person to vent at about him so Nancy: if I slag him off enough she'll start leaping to his defence automatically Ava: An evil-good plan Nancy: something good needs to come out of all the evil Ava: We can but try Nancy: Yeah Nancy: I know I need to Ava: Does feel better than doing nothing Ava: only a bit but Ava: still Nancy: I wish there was more I could really do, but it all just feels too late Nancy: inventing a time machine feels very above my capabilities, if I'm honest Nancy: Feel free to tell James I'm here if he ever wants someone to talk to about his monster of an ex Ava: I will Ava: you might have to open a hotline, by the sounds of it Nancy: That'd be a decent earner while I'm back Ava: Time is money, like Nancy: exactly Ava: Wonder what the wedding will be like Nancy: what I remember hearing about hers and James' sounded awful Nancy: but of course this one will have to be more stereotypically Italian Ava: fucked herself on flower girls too Nancy: unless he's got a big family she can insert herself into Ava: Heaven help him Ava: or she's already knocked up, the only way she does it is with a gun to her head and the groom's Nancy: has anyone checked he can speak enough English to know what's going on, like? Ava: I don't know if we've got the welfare team on that Ava: he looks pretty pleased with himself Ava: the pictures would really confirm your homosexuality for you tbh Nancy: Well that's disgusting Ava: If he was the teenaged pool boy, be all over that, obviously Ava: can only hope she's met her match this time Nancy: Even if she hasn't, like you said, there's no more she can do to any of us Nancy: And she'd never get the kids back if she wanted to try that as a last resort Ava: Not putting anything past her obviously Ava: but yeah, I can't see her trying and failing at that any time soon Ava: it's a small mercy Ava: she was no mother Nancy: Imagine having her as yours, oh my god Nancy: it makes me wanna hug mum Ava: Let's not get too crazy Nancy: the urge will have passed by mid-flight, don't worry Ava: Unless you have too many complementaries, of course Nancy: well yeah Ava: No one would blame you on that score Nancy: it doesn't help though Ava: The drink or the lack of blame? Nancy: Both Ava: Yeah Ava: not much in the party mood myself Ava: pity or otherwise Ava: though being forced to 'focus on my schoolwork' like that's remotely important right now is getting me close Nancy: Is there a brochure for the planet mum and dad live on cos I'm really intrigued by it? Ava: They really think they can keep me out of it Ava: Like I'm not the one who did the DNA test, like I'm not the one who got James and Buster to talk Ava: sure, I'll forget about that and write my politics essay, hold on 🙄 Nancy: I'll do your essay as long as you leave enough time for a thorough spell check Ava: You really wanna keep busy, yeah Nancy: Yeah Ava: You are allowed to be angry with him Ava: you know Ava: because he was a victim too doesn't mean you're not allowed to feel that Ava: even if it means you don't direct it at him, you don't have to try and repress it Nancy: I am angry at him, but I'm also so tired of being Ava: Damn genetics Nancy: He can't forgive me for going and I can't keep defending why I had to Nancy: cos he'll never accept that it's not entirely my fault, that I needed him to help me and he wouldn't Ava: He does though Ava: he's told me Ava: like you said, it's too late Nancy: He'll never tell me, so we'll only ever talk when he has good or bad news to give me Ava: Yeah Ava: it's because it doesn't change it Ava: like you said, no time machine Ava: getting him to admit that he wasn't there doesn't change that he wasn't, even if you want to hear it Ava: just like you explaining why you had to leave doesn't mean you stayed Ava: it's all just words, you know Nancy: Then how can we ever? Ava: Maybe you can't Ava: because that isn't a truce Ava: if neither of you is willing to leave your post there is no middle ground Ava: you actually have to be ready and willing to drop defending yourself and blaming each other Ava: and neither of you is, so Ava: that's that Ava: you can't make yourself give it up, clearly Nancy: It's so unfair Nancy: that everything turned out like this Ava: It just is Ava: you have to get to a place where you can just say that's what happened Ava: not attribute why's and who's to it, see it entirely objectively Nancy: maybe if I fly to Tuscany first and murder her Ava: Maybe Ava: you'll still hate yourself though Nancy: Thanks for the reminder Ava: Like you forgot Nancy: my phone alarm is set for hourly bursts of self-loathing, of course Ava: That'll be why you're tired Ava: can't even put that on him, eh Ava: unlucky, like Nancy: I'll have the luck of the Irish and all that good craic to fall back on soon enough, like Ava: 'Course Ava: be a blast Nancy: It always is Ava: It's been a while Ava: things might have changed Nancy: This family would have to catch some kind of break first Ava: Naturally, when I finish this essay, it'll all be worth it Nancy: Just make sure it's worth sticking on the fridge Ava: 'Cos that wouldn't fuck with the aesthetics Nancy: It's no finger-painting, sure Nancy: But if anyone needs the reminder that you're not a toddler it's mum and dad Ava: Really surprising they're not more elated to gain a ready-made grandkid Nancy: If the mother was anyone else, they'd be jumping for joy, no doubt Ava: Unless that mother was me Ava: of course Nancy: James has probably been well and truly scared off Ava: I reckon she's a pretty strong contraceptive Nancy: I'm in no danger but if you put me in a room with her I'd take the pill Ava: 💀 cyanide Nancy: or whichever colour gets you out of the Matrix Nancy: bye babe Ava: Careful Ava: that's what 'woke' lady and minority haters call themselves Ava: don't wanna get in that camp Nancy: is it? Ava: yeah, they're 'red pilled' 'cos they know 'the truth' Ava: the truth that feminism is a lie and all women are evil bitches, like Nancy: Oh great Ava: You accidentally been making loads of enemies over there? Ava: Whoopsie Nancy: I'll say that's the reason now Ava: Go the whole hog and call yourself an incel Ava: when any of the fam asks you how your love life is going Nancy: 😂 Nancy: Don't make me laugh though, my head is killing me Ava: I feel you Ava: the only pills I've been popping are paracetamols Nancy: Nurofen express 💚 Nancy: my actual true love Ava: so rock and roll Ava: shame even by American standards, that's no bitch's name Nancy: Read it in your best impression of the accent if you wanna swoon though, obviously Ava: It clearly does it for you, like Nancy: It's a very diverse place, thank god Ava: Sure babe Ava: the fashion industry is known for it 😏 Nancy: 🙄 Ava: Thanks for not trying to deny it Nancy: I'm not their spokesperson, pros or cons Ava: Not part of the job description of photographer or girlfriend then? Nancy: No Ava: Phew Nancy: Find a way to include it in your Politics essay Ava: Alright, mother Nancy: Never call me that again, please Nancy: if I didn't have a headache before Ava: Yeah, we didn't reckon you'd be next Nancy: Weird that you've discussed it, but okay Ava: The heat needs to be taken off somewhere, like Ava: What about Billie and her fella, do you reckon they'll go for 👶👶? Nancy: No Nancy: they barely see each other at the moment Ava: I won't put my money there then Nancy: You'd be better off keeping it on Buster Ava: I think he's disqualified by default Ava: obviously Ava: don't need no 🔮 Nancy: This one better not be born early cos of the drama Ava: She's getting out of the danger danger zone at least but still Ava: having babies is like what they were born to do Ava: missed those genetics, clearly Nancy: Lord Ava: 😂 You're so squeamish Nancy: I don't like babies, excuse me Ava: I didn't mention anything about the miracle of childbirth even Nancy: thankfully Nancy: cos it's not a miracle, it's a 🤞 & pray for the best kind of situation Nancy: you might tear open or get cut open and you get off lightly if you only 💩 or 🤢 everywhere Ava: 🙄🙄 the dramatics Ava: I've had worse nights out Ava: and I didn't get a cute kid at the end of it so 🤷 Nancy: it's not me that you need to convince so Ava: I don't think I know anyone else so definitely anti-child Nancy: I've got nothing against children, I just don't want any Ava: uhuh Nancy: It's only considered weird cos this family is so obsessed with having as many as possible Ava: Nah, it's not that Nancy: Like I said, reserve the soapbox for someone who wants to hear the pros and cons Ava: Okay Nancy: Okay, I've got loads to finish up before I can leave Ava: 'course you do Ava: I'll let you go then Nancy: I'll talk to you soon Nancy: without time zones to factor in Ava: Cool Ava: no worries Nancy: Let me know if you wanna meet up, who knows where mum and dad will decide to base themselves and when Ava: Regardless, I don't have time to come over there so I won't Nancy: Yeah, exactly Ava: Focus on what you need to do Ava: I was just checking you were okay Nancy: And I wanna check in on you too, so let me know, okay? Nancy: It's the shortest flight ever Ava: Seriously, there's no need Nancy: Alright Ava: Just focus on helping Ri, if that's what you're going to do Nancy: I'll do my best Ava: 👍 Nancy: Later then Ava: Bye Nancy: 🧡 Ava: Is Billie coming over too? Nancy: I don't know Nancy: I'll ask her when she gets home Ava: She should Nancy: I'll do my best with that too Ava: Alright Ava: that's all then Nancy: Okay, bye

[shall-we-imagine]

Lovely. (Sigurd Curtis×Reader *AU*)

Requested: 15. "If my day gets any worse, I'm asking hell if they're having an exchange program." + 22. "Insanity runs in my family. It practically gallops." From the prompt list.

Genre: Fluff.

(Second Person Point of View)

"I'm telling you, Amelia! This psycho lady kept insisting I give her a cheese burger with no cheese! And when I tried to explain to her that this is basically just a burger not a cheeseburger, she went nuts!" You complain into the phone, as you struggle to open the door to your apartment without dropping your grocery at the same time.

"Like what even is this?! And when I finally gave up and told her I'll get her that cheese burger with no cheese.." you recite the customer's words in a tone of mockery, "She just still wasn't having it! She asked to speak to the manager who wasn't even there at the time! All my coworkers and even some customers had to intervene before she tries to kill me or something.."

You hear loud laughter from the other side of the phone. "I'm sorry; it's just-" your friend pauses to laugh even harder, "it's actually hilarious; I'm sorry."

"Amelia!" You whine dramatically, "Stop laughing at my sorrows!" Even though you let out a little laugh yourself, you were still willing to demand she doesn't laugh...just because.

After locking the door, you slip off your shoes, placing it near the door frame, then walk into the kitchen to put the items you bought in their correct places.

"At least it's over, though, right?"

"Well, that's not all. After waiting at the bus stop for like 15 minutes, I realized I had forgotten my purse in the changing room, so I had to go back to get my purse then walk to the bus stop again, and by now, I'd already missed the bus, of course. Therefore, I had to wait for 30 minutes for the next bus." You sigh, "And don't even get me started on that weird guy from the supermarket!"

"What happened?" Amelia giggles, still amused by your irritation.

"So, you know how I prefer buying groceries alone because it makes everything quicker and helps me focus better and not forget anything?" You begin placing items on shelves and in the fridge, not planning to stop the phone call before you're done ranting.

"Yeah?"

"Well, this random dude that I never even met before decided that my angry aura wasn't enough to keep him away, no! He decided to just walk up to me, for no reason at all, and make conversation. Now, this wouldn't be too bad if he didn't follow me throughout the entire time I was shopping. Even after I expressed my discomfort and annoyance, he just couldn't take a hint! And I was in no mood for being flirted with or being talked to at all actually." You huff.

"Woah, it's like the universe is just purposely pissing you off."

"Tell me about it! If my day gets any worse, I'm asking hell if they're having an exchange program."

Amelia laughs. "Just get some sleep; you'll be fine." She assures.

"Yeah, I'm really exhausted; I just want to pass out for a week!" You become more and more eager to drown in your own bed the closer you get to your room.

"Well, I'll let you nap for now, but don't forget the essay; we have to hand it over on Tuesday!" Knowing your habit of procrastination, Amelia never fails to remind you of the stuff you need to do. Multiple times.

"I know I know; I'll get started right after I wake up..and eat..and maybe watch an episode of-" She cuts off your already clear intentions of procrastinating.

"(Y/N)! Right after you wake up and eat! Don't make me come over there and supervise as you write!" She threatens.

You groan, "Fine; I'll do it."

After Amelia declares her temporary victory, you end the phone call and get comfortable in bed, ready to get some rest before you have to do your assignments. You set your alarm for an hour after the current time then place your phone on the nightstand.

The mattress and pillow partly engulf your body in heavenly softness, and you happily let the irritation from earlier float away.

However, life seemed to have more troubles to throw at you today.

The sound of drilling coming from the other side of the wall behind your bed startles you into full consciousness. Frowning, you wait a few minutes in hopes the drilling would stop, but, sadly, life still hated you and had no plans of having mercy on you. Trying to ignore the drilling was a hopeless case, too.

"Honestly, what the fuck is wrong with my neighbour?! It's been 25 minutes! What's up with all the noise?!" You complain to yourself, pushing your face into the pillow out of frustration.

You let out a huff. "I'll go talk to them. I'm not sacrificing my sleep for them to put up some decorations or whatever the fuck they're really doing."

Smoothing down your hair to make it look presentable, you contemplate whether you really need to change your pyjamas to go knock on your next door neighbours and ask them to keep it down. Nah.

You rub your eyes, still feeling sleepy and exhausted, as you wait for your oh-so-lovely neighbour to answer the door.

"Hello?" Greets a male about your age. Well..let's just say he certainly is really really really lovely. And suddenly, you regret not changing into something nicer than your my little pony print pyjamas.

He gave you a sweet smile as if he wasn't just chasing the sleep away from you with his drilling.

"Uh, hi." You shuffle your weight from leg to the other awkwardly. "Would you mind..um..not drilling into the wall right now? I've had a long day, and I'm trying to sleep.." You waited for a rude reaction, but the expected response never came.

Instead, the purple-haired male pokes his head back inside the apartment. "Vincent! Hey, Vincent!" He yells.

You hear a faint yeah? come from inside before the neighbour you never knew was so handsome shouts again, "I told you you're gonna bother our neighbours, but did you listen?! Nooo, you decided to try it anyway! Just stop drilling!"

"What neighbours? There's only one other apartment on our floor; don't make it sound like I'm bothering the entire buildi-" the other voice kept getting louder, indicating the person was walking closer to the door. When he finally reached the door and pulled it open, Vincent that was yelling from inside paused mid-sentence.

"Ooh, I see why you're so concerned about the noise." The redhead shoots a wink towards what you assumed was his flatmate before walking back inside, leaving good-looking neighbour flustered.

"Uh-um, never mind him. He just likes joking around; it's nothing, re-" His embarrassed rambling was cut off by a yell from inside.

"Shut up; you know you were calling her cute earlier, Sigurd!" Sigurd's panicked eyes meet yours, and you could practically feel the temperature rising in the hallway, due to the heat emitting from both your faces.

Despite how embarrassed you are, you were still absolutely flattered, which caused you to let out a small giggle, further increasing Sigurd's blushing.

"He's only joking; don't take him seriously. He just likes to embarass me." Sigurd tries to indirectly deny his flatmate's comment. You would be disappointed if it weren't so amusing and adorable watching him sheepishly sputter out excuses and defences.

"Are you saying you don't think she's cute then?" A blond pokes his head outside. You could tell he wasn't wearing a shirt, but he didn't seem to mind being seen like that.

Sigurd falls into another spiral of panicked, embarrassed babbling. "No!" He quickly turns to look at you, "I don't mean you're not cute! You're certainly cute- I mean if I were asked, I'd say you're cute- Like I wasn't just thinking about you being cute; not that I wouldn't think you're cute- oh my god, I'm sorry; just forget about this! Klaus, just go put a shirt on and leave me alone!"

By now, you were full on laughing hysterically at the interaction between Sigurd and his other flatmate.

"It's only fair, compared to how much you tease me." The shirtless male shrugs, walking back inside.

Sigurd sighs. "I'm sorry about Klaus and Vincent; they're practically family, so we tease each other all the time." He scratches the back of his head.

"It's okay." You smile. It was as if you'd completely forgotten you came here, ready to fight whoever disturbed your sleep. "Must be really fun living together like that, though."

"Yeah, I suppose." He nods. "Things sometimes get insane, but we're used to it by now. Insanity runs in my family. it practically gallops." He chuckles.

You let out a laugh, "Yeah, I totally know what you mean."

Seeming to have forgotten about being sleepy just a while ago, you allow yourself to have a full conversation with Sigurd. It may have lasted for a full hour, and you wouldn't even know.

"My goodness, just ask her out already!" Vincent yells from inside.

"Shut up!" Sigurd yells back.

"You really have no idea how to get the ladies, huh?" Klaus joins the yelling fest.

"Says the guy that thinks insulting the girl is a good way to encourage and motivate her!" It seemed like Sigurd had gotten comfortable around you, so he was no longer affected by their teasing; he was ready to talk back now. It somehow made you feel warm inside.

"I'm just being honest!" Klaus defends.

"You're just being mean!" Vincent argues.

"I'm not mean!" Before long, Vincent and Klaus had gotten in an argument in the backgroud, allowing you and Sigurd to retrieve your one-on-one conversation.

"Well, um, do you wanna go grab some coffee later?" Sigurd smiles. "You know..to prove them wrong?" He fakes an innocent smile.

"Yeah, I'm sure that's why." You giggle. "But, sure, why not?"

After deciding the time and day, you said your goodbyes, and you went back to your apartment.

At least now when Amelia calls again you can distract her with news about your date, so she doesn't have to scold you for not working on the essay until now.