#I did aiko at a point too but I don’t have new pics of her

[gh0stly-girlfriend]

Huniepop u will always be famous

[praphit]

“Black Is King” - nuff said, but I’ll ramble anyway.

"Black is King" is of course Beyonce's new joint, based somewhat on "The Lion King", with an array of African cultures and symbolism at its core. 

Now, I am no different than the rest of you. I am obligated to love all things Beyonce. I have an extra obligation as a black man; not that I don't love everything that she does. I don't want "The Hive" or the Illuminati after me. I'm just saying that even if I didn't care for something that she did or had a slight bit of criticism, I'd be obligated to love it anyway. But, like I said... I love everything that she does anyway, so... we'll just go ahead and give this musical film a Grade: A+ Ok? cool.

Beyonce did everything in this film. Normally, when someone tells me that they wrote, starred in, directed, produced, idk filmed... catered, was the whole I.T. team, etc, I think to myself "This is either going to be awesome or a huge pile of apeshit." But, we all know that The Queen overflows with awesome sauce. I mean look at all of the adulation from the critics.

But, this is an artsy project, so some of you might not understand what's going on. You don't want to be disrespectful, and shine light on your ignorance, so allow me to help you understand some of it, by taking you through it, so you can pay your proper respects.

The film starts off with a baby in the river. I don't know if it's some type of Moses thing going on (who once was a baby floating down a river), but Beyonce ends up with the baby. I don't know if it's Beyonce's child or not. I suppose that Beyonce could have stolen this child. But, you know... it’s Bey. If Beyonce ever kidnaps your child, consider yourself blessed.

And so, The Queen starts singing to the kid as she walks around some gorgeous island.

I'm thinking that this is just a typical morning for Beyonce. While we're all at work on a Monday morning hoping that the next sip of coffee will get our minds ready for another week, Beyonce will be walking on some dream island, singing and dancing, as her servants prep her royal breakfast.

Oh, and there's some blue guy who keeps appearing as well. I'm still not really sure what's going on with him.

THEN, all of a sudden, we're in space. 

Beyonce is there too (kinda in spirit form and glowing), and some old black man talks to us about destiny.

THEN, we're back on earth with some sort of star (possibly) falling quickly from the sky. Superman maybe? Satan (you bible nerds will get that)? Beyonce? Some sort of “Beyonce is God's gift from Heaven” imagery there? Idk. All of a sudden, I didn't care, because... hips.

Lots of hips start shaking in front of us.

I’d show you a pic or gif, but I’m afraid that some of you don’t know not to stare into Beyonce and her dancers hips - it’s like the ark of the covenant, if you don’t take breaks.

But, let me tell you... MY GOD.

A true goddess! As I think more about it, her godly powers throughout this visual album/film were spot-on dance choreography and unlimited stimulating outfits.

And of course... eternal hips.

Like all stories, we at some point must get to the villain. I guess you could follow along and say that Beyonce's possibly stolen child grew up a bit, left home, and found his way to some dude who looked like young Bobby Brown. 

Imagine Bobby Brown wearing an awkward amount of gold chains and holding a yellow snake.

Some of you probably don't remember the "king of R&B". Well, it's debatable whether he was or not; he certainly believed that he was, but I wonder who would call themselves the king or queen of R&B today? 

There's this guy, who is self-proclaimed... 

I affectionately refer to him as “J-Squeezy”. 

I think that I was half asleep when I first tried to pronounce his name, and that's what came out. He'll always be "J-Squeezy" to me.

Maybe Jhene Aiko (one of my wives). 

Though some might say Justin Bieber. Can you imagine all of the R&B legends look up from bended knee, and are forced to give high praise to their “king” 

- The Biebs? 

That's just plain sad.

So, Bobby Brown, some sexy woman in a red dress, a yellow snake, and a monkey scratching its butt all tempted Beyonce's probably stolen child. Now, the kid... idk what happened to him... he's a drug dealer or something now. ... idk.

BOOM! And like that, Jessie Reyez (whom I love!) is on the scene.

Her and a dancing motorcycle gang are in the woods doing God knows what, until some dude, who thinks he's a lion ends the scene (Scar from "The Lion King"? Idk).

We are then transported to a funeral. Everything is white. Beyonce is there, and in all white. But, things take an artsy, dark turn, and now it looks like Beyonce is dead. BUT, Jay-Z finally shows up to the rescue. I don't know where he has been; probably hanging out with his new buddy.

All of a sudden, we're back to their house/mansion on the island and Jay-Z is picking Beyonce up to go to some club. Then, they enter the club in slow motion. Which again, I feel like they probably do that sort of thing all of the time. Jay and Bey just walking in slo-mo to make an entrance.

It's a wild party with synchronized swimmers (yep), human chess pieces (yep), and Jay and Bey eating soul food. 

Just another night.

Jay-Z must have went to bed early or something, because immediately Beyonce is transported to some other club in the inner city. There are a lot of sexy dudes around. Idk if maybe Jay and Bey have got some sort of Will and Jada sitch going on.

Oh, and these designs at this No-Jay-Z’s-Allowed-Club were dope... weird, but dope! Unfortunately, I couldn’t find pics of them online, but they kinda gave me a “Silent Hill” vibe - 

Pretty much the same :) (Illuminati)

But, the scenes of this "flick" never stay dark, they always go back to vibrant colors with the African cultures vibe. All of a sudden, the colors are back and the kids (lots of kids out of nowhere... possibly ALL stolen) are with Beyonce, and they're all playing patty cake.

Wait, was "patty cake" appropriated from Africa? Dammit, white people.

Then, things got a lil confusing (THEN:) with what appeared to be random stories of random peoples lives. It was as if cameras were set-up at random events such as weddings, parties, etc. Is Beyonce "big brother"? When I "people watch", I'm just at a park or looking out of my window. Apparently, when Beyonce "people watches", she spies on us all.

Someone quoted something about "Remember who you are." Something else about how “We're all kings (except for Beyonce's servants)”, and you need to go get what is yours... or something. And someone else said "Child of dust return to the river" I think we all know what that means.

Annnnd more blue guy. 

I’m starting think that the blue guy was just in Bey’s head the whole time. 

At one point, there was a bunch of blue guys, and they were all dancing.

I could go on, but that's enough; it's just more of that.

I will say this - I loved the fashion, the locations, the dances, and the music... WOW! I love everything culturally about "Black Is King", as well as the overall statement (artistically) that its making..

However... now, I'm not saying that I’M saying this, but some might say that throughout this 1hr and 25min long medley of music videos that they found themselves saying often "What the hell am I watching?" I repeat, I AM NOT SAYING THAT. Perhaps some just might not get it. Perhaps, not unlike this year (2020), there's no real meaning. Now, it could be divine retribution. Maybe all of the worlds doctors and scientists are conspiring against us (and themselves). Or maybe the world wasn't well prepared for this pandemic. Maybe the arrogance in SOME parts of the world

 are making their sitch worse, and MAYBE there's no meaning to give it. Maybe we simply need to start finally listening to one another and quit being assholes. Maybe 2020 is a year merely to be suffered through, and hopefully you'll make it to the end. Not that "Black is King" is something to be suffered through. I gave it an A+ remember? And I certainly, definitely, unequivocally finished it. I'm just... rambling like I do.

Do you remember any of the imagery from the movie "The Ring" - allow me to refresh you memory:

(Adele? How did you get in there?)

You know, just a lot of confusing shit (though I love that movie btw).

I'm reminded of this, because the images in this movie had no dialogue to them; we all had to join the main character in figuring it all out.

Now, picture that, but instead of the creepy girl, we're blessed with Beyonce, and it's in color... and smear Africa on it. BOOM! That's art! Who wouldn't want 1hr and 25mins of that??!

All hail The Queen.