#I definitely don't want another fandom sona's story loosely based off of myself to be ruined because of bullshit like that.

[girlyliondragon]

Real talk the thing about making extremely complicated/complex and flawed characters (especially those greatly based off yourself to the point they're your self-created comfort character) that you've grown to be extremely proud of thinking of their stories, is that you also know that there are people out there that will absolutely villainize the fuck out of them or try to 'reason' that they are completely irredeemable even in instances where they have no control over their life and act accordingly or even are pushed into situations where they didn't want to be to begin with or are even trying to be better than they were before even when they have gone through and still go through moments of relapse like any troubled character would in an attempt to make them feel real and it actually really fucking scares me.

I can't give details, but it's like. It's obvious they, the character, aren't a good person, not as a whole anyways and aren't meant to be, in fact said character sees themselves as the worst to exist because in their eyes they deserve every bit of punishment after everything they've done because they are forced to be stuck in the past and mask themselves unhealthily due to repeated mistakes and not wanting to do them again despite making achievements to move on and be happy and despite some telling them that they're doing a good job despite everything and that they deserve to be happy and meaning it rather than trying to placate them, it's obviously up for people to decide their own perception OF that OC from what they read of their story bits to decide whether they like the character based on what they read of them or not, because flaws and shit like this is very compelling to many, myself included.

But at the same time I'm super nervous about the idea of expanding on said character and showing their maladaptive coping mechanisms and behaviors and bad moments alongside their good moments because a lot of people on the internet, especially the very loud ones have no fucking concept of the varying shades of grey morality in the slightest. Even in cases where they are in fandoms with characters with many different forms of grey morality, like it terrifies me that someone could potentially misread everything and ruin my desire to make this OC I'm vagueing about want to not only move on and be better, even if they have to start from the bottom again sometimes, but redeem and even forgive themselves in their own eyes in the process and start anew, just because people have a black/white mentality that they force onto at the expense of others doing so. It really ruins character exploration and growth.