#I cut it myself last time and I don't like talking to hairdressers or stylists or whatever they're called

[the1975attheirverybest]

Hair appointments are a nightmare for me too!😭

1. I don't know what to do with my hair, so I look for some inspo on tik tok, in my head is easier to get a haircut if you have a step by step guide and not just a picture.

2. I found a hairdresser that cut my hair just like I wanted and the result was beautiful, but the process was a nightmare for me. At my big age of 23 I don't know how to breath properly 😭 and if my hair is all over my face I start panicking and hold my breath and I feel like I'm going to die in the chair. I have the same issue with air being blown directly to my face, i stop breathing. I remember asking the guy to stop and give a minute because I was dying right there.

3. If a show my inspo step by step, sometimes they don't get it right. I'd ask for my hair to be below my shoulder blades and the length ends up in my collarbones.

Last time I got my hair done was a month and a half ago but they didn't get it right, i always ask for layers because I don't like when my hair looks "plain", the layers at the back were shorter than the ones in the front, so I grab a pair is scissors and hope I don't fuck my head haha

Omg, I totallllyyyy get it. I hate that shit too. Especially what you said about getting hair in your face. Like, I think it’s a sensory issue? I don’t know but it’s uncomfortable and feels like they’re trying to kill me a slow painful death. I’m also, like, socially awkward so when they try to talk to me I don’t know what to do with myself. Last time I got a haircut, I walked out of their with the stylist’s entire life story and family secrets. She told me about her divorce, about her “troubled” son….everything. And I’m sure there was a polite and sociable way to respond but…I don’t think I have any clue what it is hahahahah. The whole thing is a nightmare. I like having nice looking, freshly cut / styled hair, but the prospect of actually going to a salon kills me. Like I have to mentally prep for it in advance lmao.

[bookwyrminspiration]

Sorry for not responding sooner!! Today's been a busy day at school today. But yay! At least you're doing what you can for the moment. I'm glad that homework is something that can calm you down

Do you want me to start reminding you to eat? Just like, a small sentence once a day (I can't say I'll remember all the time but you really should be eating)

But yeah that sounds incredibly stressful, I can't say that I know how to drive but!! The idea of it and everything goin by quickly is making me somewhat anxious about it, but it looks fun.

I don't remember what else was said but!! I hope that you're doing ok!!

Also being pretty whole crying is amazing, I can't say the same about me XD

-Heathen

heathen! hello! you have nothing to apologize for, don't worry. I'm always gonna be here and you aren't required to interact with me in any capacity. And school should probably take priority over perusing the internet most of the time--although my opinions on that are likely a little skewed because my school doesn't really have a phone policy (that's how I've been able to post in the middle of class while also sitting five feet away from the teacher) and I'm only there for one period...

and huh. I guess I never thought of it before, but homework does calm me down in a way! Doing homework is better than having homework I'm not doing, because then I'm constantly thinking about how I should be doing the work. And I am okay now! I am fortunate enough that my meltdowns and similar things are intense but brief. Once I get through it I'm through it and it doesn't really linger!

tw: mentions of skipping meals accidentally. scroll to the big text to skip.

for the eating thing: you absolutely don't have to. I'm not gonna tell you not to, but please don't feel pressured to remind me or anything. I do have alarms/notifications set for meal times, but sometimes those don't register in my mind and I still forget. But my health and wellbeing aren't your responsibility, so please don't take it upon yourself to do anything that will stress you out or that you don't want to do. And I do eat! usually at least. I never intentionally skip meals, so don't worry about me there! A lot of the times I'm in the middle of something when I get my set notifications and go "ah I'll do that in a minute" and then don't.

tw over

the driving thing was less stressful and more me laughing at myself! I wasn't worried about anything happening, and I know the route really well now; I drive it four times a week (I have an appointment every monday so that's why it's not five). But there were definitely moments where I was like hmm I need to be careful because I'm not the safest driver I could be right now. Was I a danger? No. But obviously I'm gonna be a better driver when I am not crying. Speaking of driving being anxious, I did make a post a little while back about some of the tips I had for people learning how to drive/who were going to learn, so if that would help you at all I can find the post and link it! Because in my experience the official driving schools throw everything at you and once and leave you more on your own to figure out what information you're actually going to need on the road. For example, whether an interstate number is even or odd determines whether is north-south or east-west and was a question on the written test, but I've never needed that info in practice and i take the interstate every day!

though I think the most fun thing about it is just the freedom. as someone with anxiety a lot of times I worried about annoying my parents when they'd take me placed because they'd have to drive there and back to transport me. so now we save gas and I feel less anxious about that. and! I get to put my music on and vibe the whole way there! I will say refrain from podcasts until you're more confident in your route because otherwise you'll be too focused on the road and miss the things they're saying.

nothing else really important was said! I gave a few details about what had stressed me out and that was it. I probably used a lot of exclamation marks too--I should really stop doing that.

and thanks, I happen to think I'm very pretty all of the time, so I'm biased. I think I actually still have a photo of me up on my blog rn (usually I delete them after a week or two but this one I didn't). update! found it! here's the link to that post. wait what was my point again? oh, right. I have an abundance of self-confidence and generally think I'm pretty all the time, including when I'm crying. Highly recommend loving your appearance!! It's very fun.

I'm planning to dye my hair this weekend so that's undoubtedly gonna result in me taking more pictures