#I cried I found a spider The size of your weather balloon's neck. do not unroll the balloon equivalent of someone and then

[sbnkalny]

I Am the hungriest boy in the world did Craymen betray the empire and control the dragon? they are not human

[elliethesuperfruitlover]

Feather Boas and Hors’ D’oeuvres

A/N: This is part two of my Halloween themed fics for @badsext. It’s the Robbie x reader one! Upon writing this author’s note (I write them before I start writing the story), I have 12 works in progress, counting this one. I have no idea why in the name of the lord I have decided to do this shit, but I love writing, and love writing for other people. Here in this household, we support all bodies. All bodies are beautiful, and you better be loving yourselves beech. I hope this ends out well.

Warnings: food, bad words, mention of insecurities, self hatred (but it’s recovered, don't worry luvs x)

“Robbie, I am NOT wearing that outside. Where the hell am I meant to go wearing that, love?” you ask, looking at the outfit he prepped for me with hesitance.

“You’ll be fine dear, just don’t turn too much or y’know. Everything’ll spill out.” he says, turning me in different directions.

“Yeah, yeah. I might have to deconstruct it, and add more fabric, Robbie, this is a LOT.” you say, poking and prodding at yourself, trying to suck the infamous tummy ™ in.

“Ahh, stop that now. That squish is perfectly fine, and your organs have to go somewhere. You’re fine just the way you are. No need to suck that in, nobody needs that much breath control. Not even a strong swimmer, love. Unsuck that belly, and let’s get on with all this, okay?” he says, wrapping an arm around your shoulder, kissing the side of your head.

  You take the costume off, careful not to rip any of it, and put it back, waiting for Robbie to open the door, as he does. You put on your regular clothes, and decide to snoop around a bit, and look at the more absurd options in the Costume Shop. Some of this shit just does not make sense, please, society, change, and for the better this time. You do not want to wear a bathing suit outside, in 60 degree weather, just so you can say “I went Trick or Treating”. Not doing it, sorry. Those thoughts ran through your head as you went through the store, letting out a chuckle at the thought of breathing in nothing but rubber for an extended amount of time.

“Have you been having fun, going around, no worries.” Robbie asked, sneaking up from behind you, his cold arms creating goosebumps along your flesh.

“I’ve been talking to myself about just how not okay some of these costumes are.” you said, mentioning the puzzle pieces.

“That’s my problem with these things. What happened to the days where everyone went outside naked, and thought nothing of it.” Robbie asked, catching himself as he saw neon pink feathers.

“Periods exist, and it’s just too damn cold for me to go outside like that, you know that.” I say, following his eyes and sensing the chaos about to ensue.

“What about this huh?” Rob said, wrapping a painful neon pink boa around his neck.

  You shook your head at his antics, and he chased you around the store with the wretched thing, trying to capture you with it. Along the way, he collected many more items, including fake blood, vampire teeth, copious amounts of candy, and a tiny top hat, colored yellow. It had sparkles all on it, and he put it on top of his head. In his arms, a couple things began to topple over, but he ran to the front register, and quickly placed it down before he had to pay for it, plus extra.

“All this please, along with this costume, and one of your “Pretty Princess” balloons in the back there please.” he said, glitter getting in his eyes. The cashier rolled their eyes, and scanned all of the items, and almost forgot the top hat on Robbie’s head, which he bent over for them to scan.

  As soon as all of the items were scanned and paid for (and when Robbie got his balloon), the two of you got in the car, and headed back to the house, to decorate it accordingly. The car ride was quite short, but boy did it feel long. Robbie was stretched out in the back with his balloon, and you drove through the traffic, tapping your hands on the steering wheel when a certain beat hit.

Boys and girls of every age, wouldn’t you like to see something strange

Close your eyes and you will see, this our town of Halloween

“Yes, ohmygod ohmygod, THIS IS MY SONG!” you said, damn near breaking the dial to scream along to the song. Yes, you were getting weird looks from the families in their own cars, but you were feeling it.

 Robbie laughed from the back, and twisted around, leaning over to kiss you on the cheek, joining you in the chaos that is yelling song lyrics in a car. You moved along in your seat, and admittedly ran 2 red lights, dodging potholes and cracks in the road. As the song ended, the glitter from Robbie’s hat had come off somewhat, and in almost every available place, there was yellow glitter. You laughed, and knocked some of it off of the radio dial, and put your attention fully on the road, instead of purposefully missing notes just to spite yourself. A couple minutes after the song ended, you arrived at your shared home, and emptied the car of costumes, decor, and of course, the balloon, which was starting to get more and more absurd. 

“Where are we going to put half of these things?’ you ask, roaming around the house, trying to come up with a spot for your Halloween themed objects to go.

“Some of them could go outside, not much out there. The little cobwebs can go in the corners, not to be confused with the real cobwebs. The candles can go in here, Mr. Skelly can go on the mantle. We’ll figure everything else out. Oh, and the costumes go in the closet, that’s simple enough.” he says, setting Mr. Skelly in his rightful place. 

   You went down all the halls, pinning the fake cobwebs in the corners, avoiding the fake spiders. You even sprinkled some remaining glitter on the tables, trying not to breathe too much in. The fake blood was put into the bathroom, for special effects just in case you decided to be an oldie but goldie vampire. Robbie was busy getting the candles together, and he eventually got his balloon out of the car, where it had deflated some. It was put in the kitchen, along with your numerous house plants, also away from the infamous pink butter knife. He started on dinner, which was a soup of sorts, and he made the both of you a cup of coffee, pumpkin spice sadly excluded.

  Soon enough, the sun was setting, and the two of you began lighting candles, and putting the warm soup into bowls, and getting washed up before putting your costumes on. You sipped on it, and turns out it was tomato soup, with grilled cheese sandwiches because originality in cooking is always welcome, but sometimes simple does it. The two of you ate in semi-silence, music playing from the record player in the living room.

“Can you taste the red food dye this time?” Robbie asked, taking a sip of wine from his glass.

“No, not this time, at least it doesn’t make me feel like I’m a hot air balloon. Too much red food dye is lethal to anyone living, I don’t care who the fuck you are, it’s not like I’m immune to things that taste like shit.” you say, biting into the sandwich. 

“True, true, I hope it isn’t that bad, I mean, I can poison you if you’d like, just take a bite out of that candle, it’ll take you right out of here.” he says, pointing towards the lit candle in the corner of the room, which flickered due to the air in the room.

 You chuckled at the thought, and from there on, you two ate in complete silence, until you finished, and Robbie offered to wash the dishes, and you took him up on it, heading back upstairs to freshen up and get ready to go trick-or-treating that night. As you were putting your costume on, certain places weren’t the same size that they were, and a couple tears ran down your face, and onto the fabric. You knew why you were frustrated, and you knew it was a really bad excuse to be crying, but the sobs only got heavier and heavier, until you were on the floor, clutching the carpet in your hands, trying to calm back down. You were sobbing so hard that you didn’t even hear Robbie’s bare feet padding in the halls, and him stopping when he found you on the ground, in your costume.

  He didn’t say anything, only holding you as you cried, running his fingers over your hair, comforting you. You finally calmed down, and were reduced to sniffles. That’s also when you began to talk.

“Why do I have to be like this?” you asked him, seemingly, hands clutching his tank top.

“Everyone has insecurities. Society makes us, especially women feel like they have to look a certain way, act a certain way. You’re perfectly fine the way you are. You also just ate tomato soup and a sandwich, your belly is going to be a little bigger. That’s simply how humans are made, you can’t avoid it. You’re not ugly or gross for being human. Or for having a couple rolls, or stretch marks. They’re beautiful. You know I always love to see them. Doesn’t make you any less attractive.” he says, brushing his knuckles against your cheek.

“Yeah, but why do I have to feel bad about it if it doesn’t matter.” you reply, furrowing your eyebrows.

“I told you, it’s society’s fault for doing that shite to you. It’s not your fault in the least. You’ve been taught to believe all of that. You’re not in the wrong here. You are beautiful, and nobody can take that away from you.” he says, tilting you to the side, looking you in the eyes.

  The two of you had a moment where there was almost silence, the only thing making noise were the kids outside, already in their costumes, cutely saying trick-or-treat. Your sniffles had subsided, and now your eyes were returning to their normal off-white color. Robbie put his fingers under your chin, and leaned towards you, kissing your lips full on. His hand slipped to the small of your back, holding you up. The two of you sat there, quiet in the gathering moonlight, still on the floor enjoying the company.

“You wanna get out of here, so I can get in my costume, and we can get gobsmacked with sweets?” Robbie asked, rubbing knuckles against yours.

“Sure, fuck it.” you say, smiling, grabbing his hand, and heading to the bathroom to get that fake blood, and put it to good use. 

  Robbie went into the bathroom after you, and soon enough, he came out, and that corset was hugging him in all of the right places. You grabbed your pumpkin basket, made of plants, and headed outside, elbows interlocked with Rob’s. The two of you headed to each house in the area, going “trick or treat” to each adult at the door, even getting giggles from little children. It began to rain, and the two of you ran into each puddle on purpose, getting completely soaked in the process. When you two got home, you rid yourselves of the homemade candy, cleaned it all off, and ate some of it. Just as it was reaching the early morning hours, the two of you went to sleep on the couch, snickers bar wrappers surrounding you.

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