#I could rant about Shay for hours if not DAYS

[rogaire]

Literally how it feels like to play Rogue for the thousandth time

[anotheronechicagobog]

Call Me By Her Name - Chapter 1 - Leslie!

Relationships: Connor Rhodes x Ava Bekker, Ava Bekker x Leslie Shay, Connor Rhodes x Sarah Reese

Written by: @anotheronechicagobog

Warnings: Internalized homophobia, homophobia, swearing

Connor and Ava were at his apartment, having gone to drinks at a restaurant a block away under the guise of talking about a case they had together, and now they were entwined on his California king bed. They were having sex, hot, angry, steamy sex. And when they were almost at the climax, at the end, at the part where you call out your lover’s name.

“Ava...” Connor was close but she was closer.

“Leslie!”

Connor froze. 

What?

He hadn’t finished, but she had and was revelling in the pleasure while he was above her, his brain processing what just happened. He rolled off of her and lay next to her in complete silence. His girlfriend called out someone else’s name while they were having sex. And he recognized who the name belonged to, PIC Leslie Shay, though he wasn’t sure if that made things better or worse. “Connor? Are you alright?”

“... You called out for ‘Leslie’ when you came.”

“Oh.”

“This is probably something we should talk about.”

“I disagree.”

“Of course you do, look, we’re dating Ava. We just had sex and you called out for someone who isn’t me, your boyfriend. This is the kind of thing we need to talk about.” Ava stole the comforter from the bed, wrapping it around herself, before leaving the bedroom. “I disagree.” Connor angrily plopped his head back on his pillow with a huff, he was too tired to deal with this shit.

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“... And I just don’t get why she won’t talk about it! This is a pretty important thing to ignore, I mean was it a slip of the tongue or does she actually want to be with Shay? And if she does want to be with Shay, why is she stringing me along?”

“You seriously don’t know why she’s ignoring this? And that she’s the only one stringing along your relationship? You’re an idiot, Connor.” He wasn’t sure when he and Natalie became friends but he knows why; Will Halstead. After Will had kissed her in the ‘don’t you know?’ incident, Nat had run into Connor as they were both leaving, and she really needed to talk about it to someone who wouldn’t push her towards him, because as much as she loves her friends that was exactly what they would do. And so they’d gone to Natalie’s and spent the night ranting about Will. Of course, Natalie was now dating him and Connor considered him a friend, but they remained friends and met when they could to be each other’s soundboard. Flabbergasted Connor put down his fork. “And how am I being an idiot for being frustrated that my girlfriend won’t communicate.”

“Connor, what country is she from?”

“South Africa.”

“What is South Africa’s stance on homosexuality?”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“I mean, it’s not illegal there, right? And same-sex marriage and adoption is also legal...”

“But there is still a lot of discrimination and violence towards the LGBTQ+ community there, and some of the neighbouring countries aren’t as tolerant. And maybe her family isn’t open-minded, she could be dealing with internalized homophobia.”

“I’m an idiot.”

“Yup.”

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He thought about Ava’s connection to Shay throughout shift and he felt more foolish as time went on. There were longing glances from both sides, excessive toughing, and heavy flirting. The only thing that kept them apart was Ava jumping back ten feet at the last second.

When Connor got home the first thing he did was go on google. He wanted to help her. He’d done a lot of thinking about their relationship and he realized it was flawed. It was never going to work out. But... If he could help Ava overcome her internalized homophobia, maybe she could be with the woman of her dreams; Leslie Shay. After a couple of hours, he’d come up with some good information, great sources, and three pages of notes, but ultimately he recognized that he couldn’t force her to accept anything and that ultimately she’d be the one going doing the self-realization. The most he could do was support her as much as possible, if she even accepted his support.

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Their next off day Ava showed up at ten in the morning wearing a low-cut blouse and a mischievous smile. “Connor, are you busy today?”

“No, but I guess that’s a good thing because we need to talk.”

“This again? Really? Connor, it was nothing-”

“No Ava, it wasn’t nothing. We were having sex, and you called me by her name.”

“‘Her’ who?”

“Leslie Shay. The woman you really want to be with, not me.”

“It was just a slip of the tongue.”

“No, it wasn’t, and don’t try to pretend it was. Look, date her or don’t you’re your own person, I can’t make your choices for you. But, I can make choices for myself. It’s over, Ava, we’re done. Neither of us deserves to put any more effort into something that’s just circling the drain.”

“Don’t you love me, Connor? I love you.”

“I don’t believe you. I can’t believe you actually. I see the way you look at her, listen to you when you talk about her, see the way you gravitate towards her when she’s around, and I feel like a moron for not seeing it sooner. There’s nothing wrong with loving another woman Ava, and she clearly loves you back. Don’t you want to be happy? We both deserve better than this, don’t we?”

“Oh, this is just rich coming from you. So what if I said someone else’s name? So have you!”

“What are you talking about? I’ve never said anyone else’s name while we were having sex!”

“But you did when you were sleeping!”

“What?”

“Yes, that little psych resident you have a crush on, you mumble her name in your sleep sometimes. I’m not the only one responsible for this catastrophe, so don’t put that blame on me. I didn’t even mean to say her name, okay? I’m not gay, I can’t be gay.”

She left Connor gaping at her from his doorway as she skulked down the hall towards the elevators

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EIGHT MONTHS LATER 

Ava was still not talking to him, and when she was her tongue was a razor-blade. It came to the point that they were put on opposite schedules, unless absolutely necessary because the work environment had become so hostile. Dr. Latham had personally given him a long, tortuous lecture about why dating your colleagues was a horrible idea and now the entire cardiology department was paying the price. He wasn’t wrong, and Connor was ashamed, but he really wasn’t sure he could have handled it better than he did. He’d never been very eloquent when talking about his feelings, but he’d tried to be as articulate as possible when he broke it off, for both of their sakes. Today had been especially hard, not only had this been one of the few shifts he and Ava been required to work together, but their patient died, and their patient was revealed to be in a same-sex relationship with the woman the patient’s conservative family thought was just her roommate. The day was long and hard and sad, and just hit way too close to home. He and Ava made eye contact from opposite sides of the hospital entrance, and his soul ached a little more at the vacant look in her eyes. But they weren’t dating anymore, they weren’t even friends anymore, so there really wasn’t anything he could do except turn away and go home. So that’s what he did.

He was halfway through The Mummy, O’Connel and Evelyn were fighting about whether or not they should be saving the world when there was a knock on his door. He paused the movie but debated not getting up. It was probably just one of his neighbour’s mistresses looking for somewhere to hide (again), because his wife had come home early (again), because she suspected her husband was cheating on her while she was at work (again). But the knocking started up again, so he sighed and got up. The person on the other side of the door was the last person he expected to see.

“Ava. What are you-”

“You were right. About Leslie, you were right.” Her eyes were red and sniffled slightly as she talked, she was shaking and she just looked so scared. “I don’t know what to do.”

“C’mere. I don’t know what to do either, Ava, but we’ll figure it out. I’ll do whatever I can to help you. I’m here for you.” And just like that, the waterworks started for both of them. They must’ve looked like a right mess, clinging to each other in the doorway and bawling like it was the end of the world. Which it was somewhat, their current world was ending, and a new one was beginning.

[dammitadolfnomorecake]

Once Bitten, Twice Stupid prt 211

211

Feeling Lance getting out of bed, Keith felt for his lover, Lance’s hand finding his after he’d half slapped him on the lower back

“Babe?”

“Getting a drink”

“Dun’ be too long”

“I won’t”

Coran was a bad loser. Pidge had annihilated him in Mario. Keith and Lance coming downstairs just as Coran started accusing Pidge of cheating. Five rematches later and Matt had taken the controller off Coran who started on a tangent about everything wrong with the game. To soothe the piece, Hunk suggested they do the cake now that Lance was awake to enjoy it.

Hunk had outdone himself with the cake. Keith had no words for how nicely decorated it was, nor did he have words for how big it was. As they were choosing not to know the sex of their twins, Hunk had used soft pastels to bring colour to the cake with fancy twirly things and edging that he didn’t know the name for. Comprised of three tiers, the top tier had two foot pints made from edible chocolate, coloured purple, circled by “Kogane-McClain Twins”. The second layer read congratulations. The third being just cute pastel icing. Had he not been embarrassed over his lack of baking knowledge, he probably would have asked Lance what all the decorations were properly called. The inside of the cake matched the outside. Pink, purple, blue, green, and yellow, comprising the layers with buttercream frosting between them.

Apparently their Sunshine Hunk couldn’t help himself, Lance crying on Hunk’s shoulder as he thanked him. Hunk crying on Lance’s shoulder as he assured him he knew he was grateful. Taking the top tier for themselves, they shared a plate, knowing there was no way there would be anything left once Matt and Rieva started. Having never eaten a “foot” before, Keith was impressed Hunk had managed to mould white chocolate so well. The man had skills. If he were to open a bakery, Keith’s bank balance wouldn’t be staying in the black very long.

After the cake came the presents. Their twins had to have a set a record for the most blankets and onesies. Lance kept saying they didn’t need anything else, everything making him cry... except for Shiro who would forever be the lamest big brother in history. Someone out there made custom onesies. Keith would like to meet them and strangle them. Four bloody onesies. Four bloody supernatural themed onesies that had passed Curtis’s tick of approval. Two vampire print and two werewolf print. Why did everything Shiro touched always have to come back to that? Curtis earned some point back with him by gifting them a box set of documentaries that he and Lance had watched half of when Curtis lived there.

Coran, now over his loss and perked up with sugar, gifted them herbal teas with a long lecture on which teas were best for which moods. Being tea, it all went through one ear and out the other. Allura’s gift of coffee made it clear she knew what a werewolf needed in his life, especially with the sleepless nights to come.

Krolia... Krolia’s gift was a set of tiny little blades for their twins. Keith confiscating them before his mother could get any ideas about training the twins to be hunters. That wasn’t the life they wanted for their kids. They wanted to watch them grow and explore the world, finding their own passions to chase. Lance politely thanked Krolia, but the look on his face said those blades were to disappear somewhere where their twins would never find them.

Shay had found “emo” baby blankets. Lance found them funny, as they reminded him of Keith. Keith couldn’t deny that they weren’t his favourite gift because they were kind of nifty with their black and white skull patterns and the green one had a really cool dragon pattern on it.

From Matt and Rieva, almost entirely most definitely Rieva’s idea, they were gifted a set of second hand Berenstain Bears books. She’d started secretly collecting when she’d found out Lance was pregnant. Mami gave a little help with the gift choice. Matt’s gift to them was taking Pidge home and spending a couple of days in Platt so they could have more alone time before the birth. Keith had a new favourite present.

Pidge drunkenly praising her skills over “suping up” the pram she’d gifted them. The thing now sporting wheels that “would make Lance’s dumb bronco cry in jealous”. Lance wasn’t sure about it all, but Pidge wouldn’t be dissuaded that the pram wasn’t now at its absolute best. Though no one argued with her directly about it, she was mid-rant when she threw up rather violently onto the rug. Krolia taking her to the bathroom, while Lance excused himself to throw up in the kitchen sink. Now there was two vomiting people, it was a mutual decision to start winding things up. Matt and Rieva in charge of getting a drunk Pidge home. Shay and Hunk also deciding maybe it was best to head off before Pidge came out the bathroom again. Their gremlin very loving and loud about it between throwing up and being soothed by Krolia. Coran and Allura were catching a ride back to Platt with Krolia, and with how green Shiro was looking, Keith sending them home.

Keith didn’t realise until everyone had left, that they’d been left with the mammoth task of cleaning everything up. Still, for all it’s ups and downs, it’d been a good party, though the pair of them did breathe a sigh of relief when silence descended over their home. Chores were done. Dishes washed. The rug scrubbed. Everything else outside could wait for another day as they climbed into bed together, both too sleepy for the night of promised passion. Lance still had moisturiser on his nose as kissed Keith goodnight. Keith smearing it out for him, thinking how lucky he was to have Lance... and how their friends had spent way too much money on them. He didn’t think he’d ever be used to such thoughtful gifts without waiting for a catch.

Dozing off, Lance’s spot was still empty when he woke up again. There were some nights was more out of their bed than in, but Keith couldn’t hear him in the bathroom. Trying not to panic, the werewolf climbed out from the mound of blankets on their bed. Most nights he’d find he’d kicked them off, too hot and too sweaty to sleep peacefully, like Lance did. Jogging over to the bathroom, he found it empty. Vaguely he remembered Lance saying he was his thirsty. If his fiancé’s insomnia had kicked in, then Lance was most probably sitting in the living room watching the TV on mute so Keith could get some sleep.

Sleepy and stumbly, Keith missed the bottom step of the stairs, hand flying out and denting the wall as he felt himself fall. Had the overwhelming scent of blood not been in the air, he might have paused to examine the damage he’d just done to the same spot Lance had repaired at least a dozen times since moving into his house

“Lance?! Babe?!”

Getting no answer from his fiancé, Keith’s heart started to race as his mind went to the worst possible situation. Lance could have slipped. He could be bleeding out. There was so much blood in the air, the werewolf’s stomach felt queasy.

Checking the rooms along the way, Kosmo had made himself at home in Matt’s and Rieva’s room, an interesting fact, though useless because Lance was on his mind. Reaching Lance’s office, the door was slightly open, the space illuminated by his computer screen. Flicking the light on, Lance hissed at him. Keith’s eyes widened in shock at the sight in front of him. Lance covered in blood. His fiancé hadn’t been kidding about being thirsty. Blood ran down his chin, and from his hands down his arms, not caring about how much of a mess he’d made feeding on blood bags he’d torn apart rather popping the cap on them. A quick count came to 8 bags scattered around Lance’s feet.

Watching Lance throw down the blood bag he’d just finished, the vampire tore into the next one, literally. His hands trying to push as much blood from the ripped bag down his throat as he could

“Babe? Babe, you feeling okay?”

Raising his head, Lance’s eyes were blank. That warm spark that always seemed to sparkly that just little bit bright for him was dull

“Babe?”

This couldn’t be good. Lance said he was thirsty. Not that he hadn’t fed in a year and was now making up for it. Keith felt revolted, and guilty for being revolted. His ego shocked into shutting up as they stared

“Baby, I think you’ve had enough blood. Here, let’s go back to bed? How does that sound?”

Lance didn’t reply. Keith forcing himself to slowly edge towards Lance. This was his Lance. His Lance wouldn’t savage him as he’d done with the blood bags. Nope. No. He was totally safe. Yep. Just a normal day in a vampire pregnancy. Nothing to see here

“Babe, come on, you’ve had enough for now”

Lance threw away the bag he’d drained, Keith using his speed to grab the bag he’d been going for out of reach. Watching the bag, Lance bared his bloodied fangs

“Baby, please. I know you’re in there. It’s me. It’s Keith. Come on, babe. Don’t let your ego push you aside”

Oh... oh. He was crying now. Keith didn’t know when that started. Had Lance not eating this much contributed to him feeling so ill? Was this how much blood a pregnant vampire needed in their final weeks of pregnancy? Placing the bag on the desk, Keith shifted the bags on the floor away with his foot, making it to crouching in front of Lance safely.

With shaking hands the werewolf reached out. His left hand going to Lance’s forehead as his right hand cupped his fiancé’s face. Blinking at him, Keith’s touch seemed to “wake” his lover. Warmth and confusion filling Lance’s eyes

“K-Keith?”

Looking down at his bloodied front, Lance’s gaze flicked back up, eyes welling with tears

“Wha... what happened?”

“You got a bit thirsty”

“But... h-how? The... party...?”

“The party ended hours ago, baby. You’re okay. You didn’t hurt anyone”

“I... I don’t remember”

The pain in Lance’s eyes was crushing

“Pidge started throwing up. Matt and Rieva took her home. Are you okay? You don’t feel warm”

“I don’t feel very good...”

“Okay. That’s okay. Do you think you can stand up?”

Lance went to look down his chest again, Keith holding his head up so he forced to look him in the eye

“You’re okay. It’s a just a bit of blood”

“I don’t remember”

“That’s okay. We were both exhausted when we went to bed. Just focus on me, baby. You can do that right?”

“I always focus on you”

Moving a stray lock of hair back, Keith gave Lance the best smile he could manage around his internal freak out

“Yeah, you do. You’re so good to me, babe. Let’s get you cleaned up and back into bed”

Lance nuzzled into his palm

“I’m sleepy”

Normally that much blood would turn Lance into an ego driven wanker

“I bet you are. You had a huge day and our friends are idiots. Let’s wash up, then we’ll snuggle”

Lance closed his eyes, sniffing sadly

“I’m sorry... I’m sorry I don’t remember coming down here...”

“That’s okay, baby. That’s okay. You’re okay”

*

Putting Lance to bed, Keith couldn’t sleep. Lance passed right out, but Keith was worried. Once the scent of blood had finally been cleaned away, a strange scent cling to Lance that left him feeling on edge. He didn’t like. The scent had him all muddled up inside, almost as if it’d given him a dose of adrenaline and he simply couldn’t sit still. Leaving his fiancé sleeping, Keith first headed to the bathroom to fetch Lance’s bloodied shirt and underwear, before heading downstairs. The one night he could have done with someone else there to tell him what to do, their house stood uselessly empty. Cleaning. That was about all he could do.

Crying as he scrubbed at the blood split in Lance’s office, he wondered how the heck he was supposed to deal with this. Lance had climbed into bed without prompting, even skipping getting in one last apology before zonking out. His fiancé needed his sleep, but should he have been waking him and taking him to Coran? Was he overreacting? It wasn’t like Lance had had a bleed, he’d checked when he’d towelled him down. Now that he was back to being himself, he’d been affectionate... but he couldn’t get the image of all that blood out of his head.

The torn bags thrown in the trash with Lance’s clothes, and the clothes from cleaning, the bin then dragged out to the road at Lance’s gateway for collection. Coming back to the house, Keith could hear Lance snoring, yet found himself unable to head upstairs with so much in his head. He needed coffee... and he really needed a fucking hug... Coffee at least was home and never failed at settling him, if he didn’t think about the times it had.

Settling himself on the edge of the sofa, Keith didn’t remember grabbing his phone when he’d left Lance sleeping. Kosmo coming quietly padding into the room, dropping himself to sit beside Keith’s legs with a soft whine

“I know. I’m worried about him too. Should I call Coran? Or am I thinking about this too much?”

He was so damn good at that. At his mind jumping to the worst case scenario. He’d always hate that about himself. He needed Shiro. They’d talked a little over lunch, but right now, Shiro was the only one he felt would understand his stupid fears. He loved Garrison, but the house felt so isolated that he felt truly alone. If the world outside had been destroyed, he’d be the last to know. God. He wanted his brother.

Resting his elbows on his knees, his right palm dug into his right eye as he held his phone with his left. The ringing continuing so long that he thought it’d ring out. It must have been the last ring when the call finally connected, Shiro’s voice groggy

“Keith?”

A fresh wave of tears hit. He’d woken his brother up...

“I’m sorry...”

In the background was the rustling of sheets, he picked up on the sound of the switch on Shiro’s lamp flicking on

“Hey, kiddo. What’s going on?”

What wasn’t going on...

“Keith? Hey... What happened? Is it Lance?”

“Shiro... I don’t know what to do”

Kosmo whined softly at his distress. Keith’s right hand moving to hug his best boy close

“I’m sure it’ll be okay. What happened?”

“I... I walked on him feeding... and there was so much blood. He was covered in blood. He wasn’t even... even aware of it. He didn’t remember coming down. I don’t know if he even remembers the party... I put him back to bed, but I don’t know what to do...”

In the background Curtis asked it was Keith, Shiro covering the bottom of his phone as he replied it was. Now he’d gone and disturbed Curtis too

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have called...”

“Hey, no. No. You’re my little brother. I want you to rely on me. When you say you walked in on Lance, was he acting differently?”

“It was like he wasn’t even there. No. It was like I wasn’t there... He was so hungry...”

“Did he hurt you?”

“No. The moment he realised I was there he started panicking because he was covered in blood”

“How much blood are we talking about?”

“I threw out 10 bags... well, the remains of 10 bags. He tore into them as if he hadn’t eaten for ages”

In the background he heard Curtis asking for him to put Keith on speaker phone. He wanted to talk to his brother, not so much Curtis

“Hey, Keith. Does Lance have any other symptoms? Any bleeding? Changes in temperature?”

“No. No, I checked...”

“Okay. That’s a really good sign. Let him sleep for now. If his temperature drops or if he develops a fever, then call Coran”

Right. Curtis had originally been Lance’s babysitter. He didn’t doubt Curtis was lying to soothe him, but the curse would have handy right now

“Okay”

“Good. I know you’re worried about him, but he’s honestly better when you’re with him. I’ll let you get back to talking to Shiro, you don’t need me eavesdropping”

Keith instantly felt bad all over again. Shiro the one to the leave the bedroom, instead of Curtis as he told him to go back to sleep. A few moments passed before Keith heard the sounds of Shiro sitting on the sofa

“Sorry, kiddo. You know how much he likes Lance”

“I’m the one who’s sorry... I woke you up”

“Keith, you’re my brother. I’m glad I can here for you. What are you thinking?”

“That I could really use a hug right now”

“Oh, kiddo. This is Lance, he’ll be okay”

“But what if he’s not? He hasn’t been feeling well”

“I’m sure if it was serious he would have gone to Coran...”

“This him, he doesn’t want a fuss...”

Lance was so stupidly pigheaded about his desires not to be fussed over. He’d been so strong... now he was weakened

“Stop letting your head get the better of you”

“I didn’t say anything”

“I know you, kiddo. If he’s not better by the morning, bring him to Garrison. I know you’re going to worry yourself sick, but being there is the best thing you can do for him and your twins”

“Is... am I enough?”

“Keith, you’ll always be enough. He adores you. I might not have approved to begin with, but Lance has proven time and time again that he loves you. I know it’s tough, kiddo, but soon you’ll be father to your twins. You and Lance are going to get through this”

“God, I hope so...”

“You will. Now, get some rest. Lance is going to worry about you if look shitty in the morning”

“Lance always worries”

“Maybe we should get him a trophy for that?”

Keith gave a wet snort. If they were to do that, they’d constantly be trading the damn thing back and forth..

“Let’s not. Shiro... I’m worried for him”

“I know, kiddo. But this is Lance. He’s stronger than he looks. If he’s not better by morning, follow your gut instincts”

“I don’t know what my instincts are saying”

“They’re saying you’ll make the right call. Try to get some sleep”

“Yeah. I will... thanks, Shiro”

“Anytime, kiddo. Let me know it goes?”

“Yeah. I will”

Ending his call with Shiro, Keith tossed his phone to the other end of the sofa. Kosmo patiently sitting, still hugged close

“What do you think I should do?”

Trying to lick at his face, Kosmo wanted pats, not to be giving out life advice

“Yeah. I guess I’ll try get some sleep. The last two days have been a lot”

Training with Lotor. His talk with his mother. Seeing his father again. His talk with Lance. The party. Lance covered in blood. Yeah. He really should go to bed. If anything happened, he’d be there for Lance... hopefully making the right call in waiting until the morning.

[heroesandmasterminds]

Hmmmmm 3, 11, and 35 for the unusual asks <3

3. Rant. Just do it.

I'm going with my favourite ranting topic: Voltron! VLD and its characters deserved so much better because it genuinely started out as such a good show! The characters were lovable and multifaceted, the plot was interesting, the relationships between the characters had so much potential and honestly any two members of Team Voltron could have an amazing bond.

Even as late as S8 there are individual scenes/episodes that are enjoyable enough to watch in themselves, except when you take a step back and look at them in the context of the whole show the problems start emerging; Hunk and Keith on Clear Day was adorable, as was Pidge bargaining with her mother and Shiro's arm wrestling with the team supporting him, but look at it in the context of the whole show and it's soured by the fact that Allura is doing her own thing yet again, and there's no connection between her and the rest of the team. Hunk and Keith's fledgling friendship will never develop beyond that scene. Shiro has no meaningful interactions with the team beyond that scene for a considerable length of time. It's sad!

And there are some great character or friendship moments that are so lovely to watch except then you look at everything around it and actually it makes no sense? The Sunset Scene! I love it so much but actually they haven't had a meaningful conversation since S3 and there's clearly a lot of hurt and miscommunication to sort through - they can't just automatically be at this deep-bond stage of friendship again.

Coran had about three meaningful scenes but they felt like random appearances in the middle of being a background character. I wanted to see more of how the loss of the Castle affected him, he who loved it probably more than anyone. How losing Altea hurt him, when he was awake to witness Allura going into the pod and likely had to say his last words to Alfor and others knowing they would be the last words. Not just him being totally chill giving away the last piece of his home to a random Earth warship. Comforting Allura about her father and Altea without getting the level of comfort he deserved in return.

Lance's death or Keith's almost-sacrifice at Naxzela, such important things for their characters, except they are never talked about. In fact Lance, shortly afterwards, seems to be daydreaming about Allura when surely the fact that he died affects him somehow? Same for Shiro, we never really see that affecting him the way PTSD did in S1. Keith was away from the team for so long but how did that affect him?

I love Pidge's bits searching for her family, or Allura missing hers, but over time they only seemed to pop up when plot-relevant so it takes away from how believable it is and how invested we can be. I wanted to say something about Hunk except there isn't really enough to talk about. Maybe that Shay, after S2 when she asks after Hunk once, disappears completely until S7? If you aren't in fandom, keeping that ship going, you basically stop caring and I know this because I've been showing VLD to my dad and we watched the end of S7 yesterday. Most fans freaked out over Shay appearing but he had no reaction because he hadn't seen her at all since S2.

Or Lance's broadsword? I LOVE that scene so much (as I messaged you about a few hours ago, Lizzie!) but it means nothing in the wider context of the show except that Lance has grown as a character, which we could see from other scenes, and it parallels Alfor which they were doing as early as S3 anyway. They needed to do something with it.

I loved James and Keith's interactions in S7 but in context, them being civil came kind of out of nowhere, they are just suddenly okay with each other or if they did talk about it we didn't see it. Which is a huge problem with this show, so many things happen offscreen or we're supposed to imagine they happened when they're things we should really be shown (e.g. Keith telling the team he's Galra! That was the first time I thought hey, something's a little lacking in the writing here...)

The Journey Within is the episode I dislike most of VLD except S8 which is on another level, to be fair. It's ok in itself, even if it hurts to hear them treat each other like this, but then instead of sorting through some of the long-term emotional baggage they add to it. And it never gets resolved.

I guess VLD's biggest problem is that everything is disjointed. Things that work individually don't work in the wider scheme of things because long-term arcs keep getting lost along the way. It isn't smooth storytelling. And especially for relationships (of any kind) towards the end it felt like they just didn't have time for most of them. I think this show could have benefited from time - both screentime and time to produce the seasons.

So yeah, long rant, practically a meta, but there you have it!

11. What unusual talent do you have?

I'm not sure actually. What counts as unusual? I guess I'm very intuitive when it comes to helping people with anything emotion-related?

35. What does home mean to you?

It's cheesy, but people. Home is anywhere I feel safe and can do the things I want and be the truest version of myself and for me that's with certain people.

[spideymybucky]

A thing for Co-stars

Pairing: Tom x reader ,Zendaya x Tom 

Warnings: fluff and angst, just cuteness!!!!

Word count: 1.4+

A/N: Well, thanks for reading and this came to me because idk. Things happen and my brain is weird. Y’all like it? Would you like more? My request are open cause im bored, so blow me up babes! 

Tom Holland wasn’t expecting any of this to happen. He wasn’t expecting his life to turn into a whirl wind of events, red carpets, paparazzis, or just being put into the spotlight so fast. He  also wasn’t expecting to fall in love with (Y/n) (Y/l/n), while being in a ‘relationship’. He felt as if everything was sleeping right out of his hands.

He sat on the white high chair with Clair, the make up artist, retouching his foundation. He looked at his phone, reading the article published by one of the gossip sites. Tom Holland and Zendaya called it quits? Read the headline. He bit his lip as he scanned over it. It seems as if  Tom Holland, Spiderman himself, might have cheated on Zendaya with his new co-star (Y/n) (Y/l/n). Talk about drama. They were seen walking out of a restaurant together. An insider said “Tom has never felt this way before. He truly is broken, he doesn’t know who to choose.”

He threw his phone on the counter and sighed. He wasn’t ready for this side of fame. Nothing was supposed to come out of to co-stars eating together. His gut said it was a bad idea, even (Y/n) said that, but he ignored every sign and insisted. He just wanted a bit of time with her.

“Mate, stop stressing about it. I already sent a statement to PR and they’re gonna deal with it.” Harrisons stated. He nodded and looked at the mirror.

“Well, love, you’re all done here. Tell (y/n), if she needs a retouch to come to me. Sara’s gone for the day, you know an emergency or something.” Her crooked smile was something that made every ones day. She was like a mother hen to all the actors.

“Sure, Clair.” He answered smiling. Harrison followed him to the set. It wasn’t a big production, but it was highly anticipated for its cast. He read his scene, taking notes from Guillermo, the director until he had to leave. He looked around, not seeing much of the cast here. He was sure the he had scenes with her, but she was nowhere to be seen.

“(Y/n)’s gonna be late, so we’re gonna shoot the shot/reverse shots first without her and continue with the 23rd scene followed by the 2 and 4 scene, ok?” Guillermos’ thick latin accent  noticeable more then ever. The crew members nodded and started arranging the set. All the house scenes were to be done this after none, and later they had to fly to Thailand to continue.

Filming continued for the next few hours, it was hard doing everything alone. He didn’t have his co-stars input or how he should act. Guillermo called it quits, unsatisfied with the 23 scene after two hours. He wasn’t angry, just annoyed by waste of time. He looked down at his clock and it was 8:30 pm. He sat on his designated chair with a snack on his hand, and looked through his phone. More articles were being released, his name was trending and it annoyed him.

“Well, if it isn’t my cheating boyfriend.” A feminine tone came from behind him. He turned around and saw Zendaya smiling.

“Hey, Z, What’ya doing here?” Tom spoke with his mouth full of bread.

“Gross, Holland.” Daya, scrunched her nose in disgust. He laughed and swallowed, almost choking.

“Sorry, sorry. Forgot how lady-like you are.” Zendaya rolled her eyes and sat next to him.

“Well, Tommy boy I’m here to relive you of your guilt.” Tom looked confused at Zendaya.

“What are you talking about, Z?” He asked confused out of his mind.

“I talked to your manager and we’ve decided to release a statement about our break up, and how its been a year and a half or something like that since then.” She showed him everything, how it was going to go down and it was going to be posted on both their instagrams. He looked at her with hopeful eyes, feeling better than ever. It was a weight lifted of his shoulders.

“Z, you didn’t have to do that. I know how private you are in all of this. I-Thank you.” Tom mumble out as he engulfed her into a hug. A high pitched laughter interrupted their hug, as Tom pushed Zendaya a way. He looked at the door to find (Y/n) laughing at her phone. She looked up and caught Tom’s honey-brown eyes. She then averted them and saw Zendaya next to him, her eyes wide with intrigue.

“I’m guessing thats her.” Zendaya mumbled, slightly showing Tom. He nodded and sighed.

“Yeah” he whispered out.

“You sure do have a thing for co-stars, don’t you?” Zendaya humorously said. He glared at her.  Why is he so unlucky? He thought. (Y/n) stood in front of them with a tight lip smile. Her eyes roamed from Zendaya to Tom. They looked close, like any couple would, and happy.

“Hey, Uh…” She whispered out, scared her voice would betray her.

“Hey, I’m Zendaya but my friends call me Daya or Z, or ya’know, you can call me Zendaya. Its up to you. ” With her hand out, (Y/n) grabbed and shook it. Dayas’ big smile plastered on her face as (Y/n) was to scared.

“Yeah, I know. I’m a big fan of your work. I’m (Y/n).”

“Thanks, boo. Me too, I’m a fan. I loved you in Captive.” Her warm smile made (Y/n) guilt grow. She nodded, forcing herself to smile and act as if nothing happened that night-which nothing did, except some glances here and there.

“I just wanted to clear the air and say nothing happened that night. Tom and I were just having dinner, after a long day and Paparazzi were there. I should’ve known it was to risky, I didn’t want to cause any problems. You and Tom make such-” Zendaya burst out laughing, making (Y/n)s’ rant cut short. Tom smiled lightly and nudged Z.

“No no no no, we aren’t-I mean we were but now- its”

“What Tom’s trying to say is that we aren’t together.” She motioned at both of them. “We were an item but its over now, he’s just one of my best friends.”

“Oh, ok.” She sighed in relief and smiled at them. “I should get going, Guille’s kind of mad at me.” She slowly hugged Zendaya and smiled at Tom before retrieving. Tom looked at her go, slipping away from him again and he sighed. Why was he such a dork? Can’t he just talk to her and not make it awkward?

Zendaya on the other hand looked at both of them. (Y/n) was stealing glances at Tom, every no and then. Her eyes full of love and hope, but with every small glance a bit of hope decade. Thomas, on the other hand, was trying his hardest to push down his feelings and ignore (Y/n). He acted as if nothing happened, with a broody look on his face. He was stealing glances too, both of them oblivious.

“You shouldn’t just stay there staring at her. Go on and ask her out before that wannabe Zac Efron does.” Zendaya winked at him. She grabbed her coat and slipped it on. Tom stood up next to her, falling a few feet short.

“Yeah, I know. I know.” He said hugging her.

“Get on it Thomas, cause she’s gorgeous and if I were her I wouldn’t wait for you to get your shit together.” She smiled and waved at him, leaving him speechless.

She was right, though. He had to talk to her, tell her how he felt and how everything went down that night. He didn’t mean to make her feel uncomfortable or put her in any kind of situation where she was affected. He needed to do it before anyone else got to her. She was gorgeous and talented, how can someone not like her? Licking his lips he stood up and walked to her.

(Y/n) looked at him and smiled. She set better after what Zendaya said. He was free, no relationship attached to him, and that made her revaluate her relationship with him. She was attracted to his innocent smile, his puppy dog eyes and his wild curly hair. She could see herself with him, talking for hours and just laughing at everything. The hardest part about everything is envisioning a future together, and thats what both of them did.

“Hey…” He mumbled out. She smiled at him, making him slightly dizzy and out of breath.

“Hey.” She whispered out before looking up straight into his eyes.

Right there and then they both knew, everything was going to be ok.

Tags

@run-girl-on-fire-run @savvythedork @iwokeupinabadmood @thechickvic @its-shaula-wii @unicorngummybears @hahajalen1 @melaerica @phenominiallfabiola @takeabreathandbeanxious @kealohilani-tepise @she-had-theworld  @schischi  @h0tshotholland @profangirllex @richiethotzierz@bellagrayson-wayne @chonisberonica @rockyrocket15 @mariejoycarter @charlsxblog @alainabooks143 @mercurys-rhapsody @its-a-mess-here @omg-i-am-lord-voldemort @bartonsbowandarrow @andreuskystuff@avatheexceed @imma-witch-bitch @chewymoustachio @rachelscosplay @au-shay-lia @fuckingpasssword @andreuskystuff @liveanddiehere @loxbbg​@beckastark @babymadz@shootingstarsaretearsofheaven @spideymood @spider-scrub acceptance07  @emmaewatson

[iknowyoubutyoudontknow]

Jealousy Edition

Request: How would react if there S/o had a male best friend who they talk to and about all day and half the night (Jealous edition)

Note: I don't know if it fits their character perfectly, gomene.

Here ya' go, hope ya' enjoy it, lass/lads!

Altaïr:

Altaïr was happy at first, if something happens to him you had someone to rely on, but after a time he felt rather jealous since you won't stop talking. So now here you where, a hand on your mouth and pinned against the wall by Altaïr who watched you with an slight angry scrowl on his face. His eyes narrowed as he begins to speak in a low husky voice;

"I'm your men, aren't I? So stop talking about someone other than me.."

Connor:

When you started to talk endlessly about your friend, Connor was kind of hurt, so Everytime you look at him you saw those big round puppy eyes watching you. But God no, he forbid himself to disturb your ranting. But may have someone mercy on your friend, if not the stare Connor gives him, everytime they meet, could kill. After all, you were his wife!

"You can be happy that she likes you, personally I wish you the baddest luck anyone can have, fancy meeting you, sir."

Edward:

After two hours Edward couldn't take it anymore, he was quite angry, even those little kisses he gives you wouldn't shut you up! How he hates the name that keeps flowing out of your mouth and if little kisses won't help, then Edward might as well just make a heated session out of it. For his sailors pride, and his feelings, be sure he won't take it easy on you.

"I don't like sharing things, even thought it would be great sharing your voice screaming my name.."

Ezio:

As soon as Ezio understood that you won't stop talking about a friend, a name he doesn't memorize duo the fact they were practically rivals, he wouldn't leave your side. Craving your attention with kisses and cuddles, maybe even being a bit more pervy as normal, there's no way Ezio would let an other men your attention without fighting for it, all in one you were his ragazza.

"Bella~? You're my *moglie, can you stop talking about some *Stronzo..?"

Evie:

Even if Evie doesn't likes it when you talk about an other men in front of her, she can't change it, so the only thing is to talk with you. Make here and there a sneaky comment and clearly show her dislike on that person. Glares at every male you both meet, even at her brother, and kisses you when you start to talk again. It isn't really hard for anyone to notice that she's jealous.

"Oh? Me and jealous, stop joking, as if I would be jealous of someone I barely know.."

Haytham:

He wouldn't show it but he clearly wasn't happy that your attention was on an other men, so don't worry too much if said other men was a little scared when Haytham was near. Yeah, Haytham tries to be friendly to him, but still every glance he gives him was a warning, even shaking hands was like a compatition of strength -something Haytham is a master in.

"My, my.. What pleasure to meet you, don't you think?"

Jacob:

Whining, all day long, louder Everytime you tried to talk again, he just wouldn't stop. He won't even let you hug him, it confused you, sometimes you even see him staring at other girls. He tried to make you jealous, with every method he knows, and God Jacob it damn good at it too. So you stopped talking and tried to get the attention of your husband, maybe a little unfair.

"That's your own medicine, darling."

Shay:

If you won't stop talking he would take it upon himself to make you forget what you were talking about, a simple way. Kisses to interrupt you, random compliments, hints and all that, it left you confused. One kiss longer than the other, in the end you don't even wanted to stop talking if you always got kisses for it. Still you shouldn't take it too far, would be bad if you couldn't walk for a few days.

"Ya' could just 'ave asked if ya' needed some tension between us~"

Moglie => Wife

Stronzo => *censored*

_____________________

Extra ending: (Edward/Shay)

"Maybe I should talk more about my friends.." smirked the [H/C] women as she hugged her husband from behind. "Stop thinking about it, lass. That was damn unfair from you." groaned said male and crossed his arms, not wanting to talk about it anymore. So the female, also known as [Y/N], looked curiously over his shoulder and looked at his face. A few second later her hand was on his cheek and squeezed it slightly, small giggles escaped her mouth. "Are you pouting? Come on, don't be such child!" "Am not!" "Surely, wait till your crew hears about that!" were the last words before the female pushed herself away from her husband and ran, as quickly as her legs could carry her, out of the shared room. "DON'T YOU DARE, [Y/N]!"

[frighthouseofalighthouse]

Alex, as a student of history I’ve wanted to ask you this for a long time. Why did you vote the way you did on the alien & sedition acts? I know you’ve gotten a lot of shit for it and I wanted to know your reasoning.

This was a very difficult situation, and I have wanted to speak about it for a long time, so I am very glad you’ve given me this opportunity.

For the benefit of others reading this, the Alien and Sedition Acts were passed by the Adams Administration in 1798. They made it more difficult for an immigrant to become a citizen, allowed the President to imprison or deport citizens deemed to be dangerous or from a hostile nation, and criminalized published statements criticizing the Federal Government.

Of all the political decisions I made in my career, this was by far the most difficult to make, and it has haunted me ever since. Eliza would attest to the stress it put me under at home. I didn’t sleep, I barely ate, I pushed off making my decision as long as I possibly could. As A) an immigrant myself, B) a believer in the rights of those from hostile nations to seek asylum, and C) a strong critic of John Adams, an outsider would think I could not have been more opposed to these laws. And they would be right.

The political climate at this time was teetering on the edge of a cliff. The so-called “Quasi-War” with France had pushed us to the brink. Political intrigue and espionage was rife within the companies of visiting French dignitaries. Federalists and Democratic-Republicans were violently divided as the Republicans believed we owed it to France to aide them in overthrowing their corrupt monarchy, and Federalists believed that as a budding nation with several mini-rebellions that had already threatened our security (such as Shay’s Rebellion and the Whiskey Rebellion), we could not afford the military and financial sacrifices required to aide our friends. Most of the flack I get for lies lies in the fact that our critics believed this was a violation of the first amendment (it was) and voter suppression (it was not.) The Sedition part of this was repealed after the Adams Administration ended. John Adams was a wildly unstable narcissist unfit to have had as much power as he did. But that’s another rant.

So. Essentially Thomas Jefferson and all his pals voted against the acts. Myself and the rest of the already fading Federalist party voted for them. I am ashamed to say this is a great part of where the still strongly used strategy of voting with your party began. Now this is where we get to the root of your question. WHY?

Politics is not black and white. Neither the black and the white areas are ever completely right, but when we vote yea or nay, we politicians, no matter where in the gray we fall, have to pick one or the other anyway. There was no “right” decision here. I often compare the choice I made here to the choices Hillary Clinton had to make during her time as Secretary of State, which she often gets so much shit for. Here’s a paragraph I wrote on the subject a couple of years ago:

“Sometimes we have to make political choices contrary to our beliefs. It’s all in the circumstances and alternatives. This is no excuse to judge every part of an official’s/candidate’s morals and character. You simply cannot judge from a citizen’s perspective. If you think you know better, try stepping into my shoes. Weigh the consequences. Argue both sides for a day. Pretend this nation’s fate is truly up to you. Tell me, do you respect me now?”

As passive aggressive and challenging as that paragraph may be, the point of it still stands. The circumstances have been stated above. The alternatives, the consequences to voting against this act, were the Quasi-War spiraling into something concrete, a declared act of war. And most likely the end of our newborn nation. The consequences of supporting this act are still being felt today, and that pains me greatly. I believe that with our monetary and military positions being a lot more secure, we should repeal the Alien Enemies Act that still remains in use today.

Because of the decision I made, I still have much controversy as a politician. I have seen many history-centric blogs who say they hate me, and paint me as a manipulative, backstabbing fiend because of this hypocritical stance on immigration. Again, you cannot judge from a citizen’s perspective. History had its eyes on me. The weight of the nation was on my shoulders. Either decision I made, the effects would dramatically alter the course of history. There were pros and cons to each. I elected to make the decision that would ensure we still had a country in the years to come. And for that specific political climate, I was right.

I spent about an hour drafting this statement, so I hope it’s satisfactory. Thank you for allowing me to share my opinion on this. Please let me know if you have any other questions pertaining to this subject.

[calligraphist-artemisia]

Marks of the Soul (Chapter 5)

Summary: AU. Everyone has a mark somewhere on their body which corresponds to the moment they realize they’re in love with their soulmate, commonly referred to as a Soulmark or just a Mark. Even in space, so very far from home, the Paladins find themselves dwelling on their own Soulmarks and what their unusual forms might mean for them.

Pairings: Keith/Pidge, Lance/Allura, Hunk/Shay, and Shiro/Matt

Chapter 1 - Previous - Masterpost

Also posted on AO3 and fanfiction.net

Chapter 5

It was another sleepless night for Pidge.

Things had settled in the Castle since Shiro's return, but she felt more restless than ever. There had to be more for her to do than hand out supplies to the refugees or make appearances at the newly freed planets.

Not that either of those things was unimportant! All of those people were part of the reason why they were fighting against the Galra, but it would take time and effort before they were truly free of Zarkon's tyrannical reign. Pidge was willing to do whatever was necessary for them to survive and thrive, even if it meant more choreographed shows and handing out supplies to those in need of them.

Pidge left her room without much thought, her bare feet silent against the floor. She moved on autopilot, her path first taking her to a room just a few doors away. She knocked, not too loud, and the door slid open.

“Keith?” she asked, peering into the dimly lit room.

There was no one there. Only Keith's red jacket, handing on a hook next to the door. Her shoulders slumped as she stood there for a moment longer, almost as if waiting for him to appear, and then she turned and slowly walked away, heading towards her original destination – the projection room.

She barely had to press her hand against the console in the center of the room before everything around her was awash in soft starlight. The sight of the Milky Way galaxy put her mind at ease as she settled at her usual spot on the floor and drew her legs up against her chest. She sat there, in silence, letting her mind wander, never staying on one thought for long.

Until...

Pidge sighed, lowering her eyes and letting her forehead rest against her knees. “I wish you were here. I miss talking to you. You... you never seemed to mind when I'd ramble on about something. You always knew when I needed to just... talk without an actual goal in mind. And when I did need to focus, you knew when to remind me.”

The first heavy tear dripped down her face and soaked into the sleeping gown she wore, followed by another. And then even more, easily sliding down the path left by the first.

“Where are you, Keith?”

Everything was changing so fast.

When she first woke after ten-thousand years of slumber, Allura never would have imagined learning to trust any Galra after Zarkon's betrayal, but there they were, forging a strong alliance with the Blade of Marmora. It took some time, but she trusted Kolivan.

Allura sighed as she set down her hairbrush. She stared at her reflection without really seeing, lost too deep in thought. The mice scurried about the top of her dresser, trying to help her get ready for the day.

Things had been... different since Shiro's return. Allura couldn't put her finger on exactly why, but it was as though something had shifted out of balance.

It was more than just the Black Lion's sudden refusal to accept Shiro as her paladin. It was more than Keith's continued refusal to step up and lead. (Granted, that was made more difficult with Shiro's struggle to let Keith lead.) Those things were a big part of their shifting dynamic, but there had to be more to it than that.

And then there was Lance.

Lance, who had every chance to use one of his infamous lines on her as they worked closely together on various shows and providing support to the newly freed planets, but hadn't used a single one on her in...

How long had it been?

Allura couldn't remember the last time he flirted with her. It must have been before Shiro disappeared. Before their great battle against Zarkon. Before Keith learned of his heritage.

Something nudged against her hand and she looked down to see Platt offering a pin for her hair.

“Why, thank you. I suppose I got a little lost in thought,” Allura said with a smile. “Would you four mind lending me a hand with it today? You do a much better job than I can.”

She got four happy squeaks as the mice got to work. They climbed up her arms and began to wrap her hair up into a neat and tidy bun, easily pinning it into place.

She could feel their questions – not quite in words like everyone thought, but more like specific feelings. Chuchule was the most vocal that morning, voicing curiosity over what had Allura so distracted.

“It's Lance, actually,” Allura said. “I've enjoyed working with him the past few weeks. He's actually kind of sweet when he isn't being obnoxious.”

Chuchule's next remark was something more teasing; a wonder if Allura wasn't starting to develop feelings for the current paladin of the Red Lion.

Allura's cheeks went pink at the idea. “Don't be ridiculous! I only meant that it's pleasant to be around him. I feel like I have a friend. I've... I've never really had that.”

The mice scurried back down to the top of the dresser, finished with their hairstyling. Chulatt squeaked out their own teasing comment about Allura being in denial and then all four mice were racing off, escaping before she could get out a flustered protest.

“I am not!” Allura shouted after them, her cheeks still tinted pink. She huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.

They were friends and that was all she needed – all she wanted. After all, her Soulmate, whoever they may have been, died long ago when Altea was destroyed. Whoever Lance shared a bond with, it wasn't her.

She shook her head and stood up straight. She didn't have time for such thoughts. There was work to do.

Pidge struggled to breathe as her chest tightened and more tears threatened to fall.

It played over and over again in her mind: Keith, telling them about a mission for the Blade he was signing himself up for. A mission that may take him away from them for months. Hunk, leading the way for a group hug. Her, squeezing in next to Keith, unable to stop the words from tumbling out, even as her voice cracked.

“We're really going to miss you!”

And then he was walking away from them and all she could could focus on was the blade attached to his belt and the glowing symbol on the hilt.

The symbol of Marmora.

The one permanently etched onto her skin.

Pidge curled up into a ball and sobbed. All of that happened hours ago and her chest still ached. She'd done nothing to try and convince him to stay. She just watched as Keith walked away.

As her Soulmate walked away.

“I can't be the only one bothered by this, right? I mean, we pretty much have a super villain locked up in our basement!” Lance ranted as he paced around the room. Pidge, Hunk, and Matt were hard at work with upgrades to the Castle, but at least they hadn't kicked him out yet.

“It does feel weird, but he is giving us good intel,” Matt pointed out. “Besides, it's not really up to us. Shiro and Allura are the ones in charge, and if this is what they think is right, then I'm not going to argue.”

Lance growled in aggravation and all but flung himself into a nearby chair. He hated that Matt was right. Hated how easily the man seemed to fit in without everyone so easily, leaving him feeling even more out of place.

“Keith would agree with me,” Lance grumbled, the words strange to his tongue.

Pidge's hand smacked against her tray of half-eaten food, knocking all of it down to the floor. She flinched at the loud sound and everyone else turned to look at her.

“Everything okay, Pidge?” Hunk asked, already getting up to help clean the mess.

Pidge wordlessly slid from her chair, her hands shaking slightly as she tried to pick up the plate, which slipped from her fingers as she lifted it.

“Pidge?” Matt asked, sounding worried.

Lance watched with growing concern as Hunk brushed off Pidge's attempts to help and practically ordered her to sit back down and take a break while he finished cleaning. She didn't look happy about it, but she listened regardless.

Matt tilted his head to the side. “So what's with you and Keith? You flinch every time someone says his name. Did he do something to you?”

“No!” Pidge blurted out, her eyes wide. She withdrew almost immediately, avoiding everyone's gaze. “He didn't do anything. I'm the one who... It's my problem. Don't worry about it.”

Okay. That was weird.

The last time they saw Keith was the day he left the team. (No, Lance wasn't counting the times they'd seen him on video calls, because that didn't count.) He couldn't remember anything happening that would make things weird between Pidge and Keith. Sure, things had been strained leading up to that, when they felt like Keith was shirking his paladin duties, but that wasn't enough to explain Pidge's reaction.

“Pidge, are you sure you're alright? Do you want to talk about it?” Hunk asked.

“I just need a break. I'll be back later.” She stood up, brushing past him on her way out.

No one said a word for nearly a minute.

“So, do either of you know what's going on?” Matt asked, breaking the silence.

Lance had questions of his own, but no answers and he doubted he'd be able to get them from Hunk. He'd just have to sweet talk Pidge into spilling her secrets. It would be a good distraction from his own failure to tell Allura the truth.

He left Hunk to try and fill in the blanks for Matt, giving some half-baked excuse about going to make sure Pidge was okay. It wasn't entirely a lie; he was worried. How could he not be? Pidge was one of his best friends and it was clear that there was something bothering her, so he wanted to try and help.

Lance picked a direction and set off at a brisk walk, hoping he could catch up to her. When he came to a junction, he looked both ways and felt incredibly lucky to spot Pidge disappearing into one of the side rooms up ahead. Lance took his time from there, pausing at the door to knock before going inside.

“Hey, Pidge?”

She turned, hurriedly shoving her glasses back on her face. “Hey. What's up?”

“What's the deal between you and Keith? I know you said he didn't do anything, but did you have a fight?” Lance asked, diving right into it. He stayed at the door, blocking the only exit.

Pidge's entire body drooped, as if she was wilting. “We didn't fight. I just miss him, that's all.”

Lance frowned. “Okay, but why not just say that? I know we didn't always get along very well, but I miss him too.”

“It's not the same,” Pidge mumbled, lifting one hand to clutch at her sweatshirt, right over her head. “I don't want to talk about it. I haven't... I haven't been able to tell Keith yet. I don't know if I'll ever get the chance. And even if I do, that doesn't mean he'll accept someone like me.”

All at once, Lance understood.

It seemed he and Pidge had more than a love for video games in common.

“He's your Soulmate,” Lance quietly said.

Pidge nodded, looking absolutely miserable. “I didn't know until he left.”

Lance took a deep breath and made a confession of his own. Something he hadn't been able to voice it out loud until that moment. “Allura's my Soulmate.”

Matt whimpered in pain, suddenly wide awake as he rolled onto his side. The lack of pressure against his back helped a little, but it still felt like someone was scraping a nail against his skin hard enough to leave a welt behind.

He reached out and turned on the light, squinting as his eyes tried to adjust. Once they did, he twisted around to try and find the source of the pain, but no matter how much he stretched, he could barely get a glimpse of his Mark.

Matt got out of bed, bemoaning his loss of precious sleep as he shuffled over to the mirror. He turned so his back faced it and lifted his shirt. He gasped when he found the source.

His Mark had always been a strange, seven-petaled white flower with silver-blue leaves, situated on his lower back. But suddenly there was a second flower, branching out next to the first. As he watched, it filled in with black instead of white.

NEXT

[takaraphoenix]

Voltron Season 4 Rant!

Beware, the following will contain spoilers about season 4 of Voltron! So don't keep reading if you don't wanna be spoilered!

So, I'm tempted to say I just binge watched Voltron “season 4”. But there'd be two lies in that statement.

I can not consider watching 2 hours of anything a “binge watch”. Even of cartoons, I have more intense casual watches, really. If you invest less time than you'd do on a movie, then it ain't a binge.

And by all intends and purposes, this was not season 4. This was season 3B.

Especially after watching it, I am even more set that they should have never released season 3A in August. They should have kept it and aired all 13 episodes of season 3 in October, as had been the original plan. Why they split it is completely beyond me. Particularly since it was just two months early. If we'd have the original release date be in say January, then yes, airing half of it in August would have been a nice break from the too long hiatus. But because of two lousy months?

This season would have benefited from being aired as one season. Because 3A was... lacking. A lot. I literally wrote an entire rant about how it was lacking. And some of the problems were actually well-fixed in this “season”. To have all 13 episodes together would have improved the experience as a whole.

Now, lemme get into the season!

What they're doing with Keith makes me mad? Like? First they make him the Black Paladin and leader even though he's not qualified to be a leader, he's not emotionally ready to be a leader and he doesn't want to be a leader. And now they just... remove him from the plot by essentially making him abandon Voltron? I get that what he was doing with the Blade was definitely more important than the showpony-ing the others did, but when he went on a mission while the others needed him on an actual mission, it was basically a dick-move and would have barely been tolerable if he had still been the Red Paladin, but for the leader to leave his team hanging in favor of a mission that literally anyone could have attended, because the Blade has a lot of people at hand... I didn't like that they made him act that way. I like that Shiro became the Black Paladin again through that, but I just can't believe Keith would deliberately let them hang like that and then just... leave completely.

So, yeah, I entered this 'season' with grumpiness after that first episode.

But holy shit, that second episode was so emotionally loaded. I'm so glad Pidge found her brother again. It was due-time, really. And they conned me into actually believing it was Matt's grave there, for a while. Like. Damn. Really well written and their reunion was so sweet.

And having Matt with the team was just... adorable. // Random thing: I've been contemplating Matt/Allura for a while now and it made me stupidly happy that he was instantly into her?

Also: KALTENECKER IS BACK. Also made me stupidly happy, because I love that they have a cow and after she didn't appear at all last season – and how does one hide a cow – I thought they'd have gotten rid of her. But Coran and Allura trying to introduce themselves to Kaltenecker might just be the cutest, dumbest, most adorable thing in this show yet? And farmboy!Lance is a definite giant yes from me, by the way. So is traumatized!Allura and traumatized!Coran. If you're unfamiliar with the human oddity of drinking other creature's milk, it must freak you out a lot. Brilliant.

Though Matt and Pidge being nerd-siblings is a close second when it comes ot most adorable thing. Oh gods, I've been grinning like a maniac the entire time as Pidge showed Matt around the castle, because it was just so sweet and such an emotional pay-off to Pidge's sub-plot. And Matt just fanboying about anything his little sister does is just so incredibly awesome.

Though... The glasses-thing made me furious. Like. Matt needed the glasses... and then the Garrison... fixed his eyes and he gave his specifically for his eyes prescribed glasses to Katie, who then just... wore them. If your eye-sight sucks and you need glasses, then they will not be just wearable for other people. I always assumed they just had regular glass as lenses and were part of the costume but Pidge grew so used to wearing them that she kept them – which I understand, I developed a certain fondness for mine real quick too and don't know if I'd be comfortable without them anymore. But that she just kept her brother's actual glasses that were for his eye-sight and casually wears them even though she didn't need any glasses at all before that – and even if, the chances that she'd need the same prescription as Matt is ridiculously low – it... it infuriates me as a person who does wear glasses and like... knows how they work? I mean? How do you not know how glasses work?

The “Voltron Show!” episode however was just really very exhausting.

For one, I truly don't like that Coran is just that comic-relief. I mean, comic-relief is good, but I'd like to see more of Coran than just “the guy who sweats a looot of slick and that's funny” and now “the idiot who actually buys brain-empowering seeds and uses them” without anyone really noticing that he's going completely crazy and is not Coran anymore. This was pathetic on his character but also on the rest of the team who took way too long to catch up with this shit.

Not to mention that I really can't relate to them putting on silly shows instead of saving the damn galaxy. Like. Sure. Promoting themselves and going to visit other planets is important, but the way they did it in the first two seasons was far better than “Voltron on Ice”. What the heck.

Though, I mean. Lance. On the rope. All the yes to that.

Okay, though. Other thing. The Galra-plot has completely lost me at this point. Lotor is actually Haggar's son. How... does he not know that she's his mom? That Haggar and Honerva are the same person? How do they act like petty prince and distant adviser he doesn't care about. The Galra sub-plot is literally making less and less sense with every episode involving it. From the random “Ooops, he has a son who was banished but we don't really explain why or where he was”, to the “And now, as he has barely been the enemy for half a season, we re-banish him again”, with the incredibly retconned feeling “Zarkon and Haggar were married all along but neither remembers”, including the “Me and my generals seem to be real close and that team is actually really cool but I’ma kill one of them without batting an eyelash”, all the way to “And now Lotor’s ready to join Voltron”... I'm sorry, but that is just getting weirder and more messy by the day. It doesn't seem the least bit consistent and more like they're winging it from episode to episode...

Now, to round it all up, let me get back to what had been bothering me the most about Voltron since... season 2 now. And what still bothers me the most about the season.

You literally only have seven main characters. How do you not manage to treat them equally?

Look. I know I complained about season 2 that it was turning into the Keith Show and that, while season 3 went a bit more balanced, still gave Keith the most spotlight – not to say that I don't want him to get spotlight, but I want the others to get ome spotlight too. And I sure as shit didn't mean to completely remove Keith for nearly the entire season. What the heck was that. Not to mention, “Oh, the Paladins are really very special and the lions don't pick anyone”, even though they do. They switch so easily around now that Keith abandoning the team doesn't even cause any problems because all of a sudden Shiro has his connection with the Black Lion back because it's convenient.

Shiro is a close second when it comes to importance and getting screen-time, but a real plot... he doesn’t get that much either. I had expected season 4 to give us some PTSD support sub-plot for him after he was captured and tortured again. I also start subscribing to the fan theory that Shiro isn’t Shiro, because he doesn’t... act like Shiro anymore.

This season at least had pay-off for Pidge, who at least also had her sub-plot.

Allura, occasionally, weights in a bit more.

Coran only gets the spotlight to be a ridiculous comic-relief.

But Lance and Hunk are pathetically underrated and underused.

Last season, Lance at least had the emotional thing of focusing more on his insecurities for like an episode, but even that didn't get an entire episode to be focused on, or have like the team care about it.

This season, both Lance and Hunk just had some throw-away random lines to be funny. They did absolutely nothing that had emotional attachment or importance or made them anything more than cardboard-cut-outs standing in the background to fill the empty space.

And four seasons in, that's getting really pathetic, for the writers.

Lance, at least, has his occasionally hinted-at self-worth issues, but it's due time he gets at the very least one episode to fully focus on them and on him. Maybe his psychological issues affecting him in a way that makes the team notice and be there for him. Particularly this season where they literally did nothing much aside from touring the galaxy, there would have been time to have an emotionally heavy episode, or anything, to focus on Lance.

But with Hunk it's even worse. He doesn't even have that. He had his cooking that got a bit attention at the mall-episode. He had the connection to Balmera that didn't get enough attention either. Heck, now that Rax and Shay returned for brief shots this season, he didn't even hug either of them. Hunk is by all interpretations a background character and it makes me actually angry because you literally only have seven main characters, how do you not manage to balance them enough to give them at least an illusion of equal attention? It's getting ridiculous.

Honestly, if the next season doesn't give Hunk and Lance actual sub-plots and more depth, this show is really going to drive itself against a wall.

I was also missing the team-dynamics. While Matt and Pidge got their interactions, all the other characters didn’t really. There... were no bonding momendts. No big emotional pay-offs. Klance had such cute moments in the first three seasons, now... they were barely even on the screen together. With the lion-switching of last season, I really-really- really expected to have a lot of Klance bonding over their lions this season.

The friendships between all the Paladins came way too short.

Yet by all intends and purposes, this was not a season. This was season 3B and it should have been released together with season 3A, because as one arc, there would have been more pay-off for what 3A sat up. Not to mention that 6 episodes is just plainly pathetic and doesn't qualify as a season.

[phearts]

Defy Them: a thank you to clone club and Orphan Black.

(I was going to post this the day of the finale, but feels happened and I forgot, so here it is).

As a sci-fi/tv fan, I heard the praises to Orphan Black and Tatiana’s work from the very beginning. My first references to the show were some Felix quote, Cosima’s laptop and Evelyne Brochu’s very first ask OB. I started watching on may 2014 and binged the two seasons in less than two weeks, totally atypical for me, because I’m not really a binge kind of person, but I couldn’t stop. I remember that I was terrified of Helena and mesmerized with Cosima because I’ve never seen a character so nerdy and full of life. I had mixed feelings with Sarah and now I understand that I saw a side of myself in her. I think that’s why many of us felt connected to the sestras: yeah, they’re clones, but they’re strong and imperfect, they’re human.

Cophine and Delphine’s speech about the spectrum and bisexuality were a total revelation for me. I’m not easy with ships, but when I saw these two women solving problems with binary and ASCII code, I fell in love with them. I didn’t trust Delphine in S1, but she won me over with her dedication to save Cosima and her sisters. She’s practical, incredibly intelligent, and she doesn’t care if people likes her or not. Delphine has the perfect balance between heart and brain, and I respect her so much for that. When the big S3 disaster happened, the Delphine Cormier Defense Squad fought back with a lot of salt, baguettes and rants, we defended Delphine/Évelyne from haters and even obteam until her glorious return in 4x09. Now cophine is endgame and I really think it was because of us, because we never stopped believing in this amazing character.

Do I think the show lost the opportunity to be better?, of course.The castor storyline was unnecessary, we had interesting characters who never came back (Marion, Cal, Tony!), weird choices (The Hendrixes selling drugs, turning Helena into comic relief, Shay’s irrelevancy into the plot, weak villains, killing Paul and Leekie, MK’s brutal death, etc). The best episodes of season 5 were written or directed by women and I don't think that's random, because female POV is crucial when you’re telling a story about a group of women and their choices.

Discovering clone club has been the best experience I’ve had in my 20 years of fandom. It was like going out from a very squared box to find a prism reflecting every single color. You guys are fucking awesome, every single one of you. Your art, music, videos, fanfiction, cosplay and OB analysis are beautiful, smart and funny. Maybe people outside the fan bubble can’t get it, but fandom heals and can save people. OB has that power and I’ll always be grateful for that.

The show challenged my perspective in many aspects of life and gave me characters to whom I could relate. Reminded me that it’s ok to feel, to be whatever the hell you want, that we can defy the rules people try to impose on us. Gave me inspiration, courage to try new things, countless hours of nerdiness, analysis and laughs with my best friend. Orphan Black is my happy place. THANK YOU.

[hailey-halstead]

Green Bean Casserole

let’s ignore the layout of Antonio’s apartment okay thanks😂😅 this is of course after the CF finale, and i will be writing a lot of fics related to this one. we don’t know if casey has died or not, but for these bunch of stories i have in mind, he does. it’s kind of the catapult that gets brettonio back together, and of course guilt and drama and many fic ideas would come with that!!! which means grieving gabby dawson:( of course i definitely want matt casey to live(and i one hundred percent think he does) but it makes out for good stories!!!! hope you enjoy!!! and i know justice is over but yeah whatever i started this immediately after the finale sooo it wasn’t canceled yet. i hope you all enjoy and i don’t own anything!!!! 💘💘💘💘

—————

Nagel tried to balance the green bean casserole in one hand and use the other to knock on Antonio’s apartment door. She felt slightly awkward about coming, but each time she thought about backing out, she thought of how she needs to support her partner. And although he wasn’t the one the casserole was mainly for, he was dealing with his sister’s life being completely flipped upside down.

The person who answered the door was neither of the Dawson siblings, or one of their parents. Instead it was a blonde haired woman, looking exhausted and frazzled. Her eyes lit up at the sight of Nagel’s food, however.

“Gabby loves green bean casserole.” The woman said with a smile, taking it from Nagel’s hands. Nagel wondered if that was it, she was handing over food and then leaving. She hadn’t exactly thought about what would happen after she gave the food away. But the woman opened the door wider, gesturing with her head for Nagel to come in. “Antonio would be glad to see you.” She said, surprising Nagel that she knew who she was. She had no clue who this woman was. “Oh, I’m sorry for not introducing myself, I guess I’ve been scatterbrained lately—”

“It’s fine, don’t apologize.” She must be a good friend of Gabby’s, and clearly was staying here to help. At least that’s what Nagel assumed by her wild hair and ratty sweatpants. She didn’t look like she was just visiting. “I understand.”

“Thanks.” The woman led her into the kitchen, seeming quite comfortable in Antonio’s apartment. She opened the fridge, which was stacked with food already. With some difficulty, the woman shoved the casserole into the fridge, somehow finding a place for it. “I’m Sylvie, though.” She stuck out a hand for Nagel to shake after she shut the refrigerator. “You’re Laura Nagel, right?”

“Right.” She responded slowly. Sylvie certainly knew a lot about her. “Nice to meet you.”

“Come on, Antonio is in the living room.” Sylvie left the room. Nagel quickly followed, not wanting to be left behind.

Antonio was on the couch, head in hands. Nagel was left speechless, she had never seen him so defeated before. Unlike herself who was unable to move, Sylvie approached Antonio. Her hand rested against his back, in an almost very intimate way. Nagel felt like she was intruding.

That’s when Antonio looked up, and his eyes first went to Nagel. “Hey,” He greeted, standing up and walking over towards her. “Thanks for stopping by.” He hugged her, an interaction not common between them. But it was right for the occasion, as Nagel wrapped her own arms around him.

“Of course.” She said, patting his back to show more comfort and support. When they separated, she informed him about the food she brought in the fridge.

“Gabby loves green bean casserole.” Antonio repeated the same thing Sylvie said earlier.

“Is she not here?” She had never met his sister, and while she never wanted to meet her under these circumstances, Nagel did want to extend her condolences.

At that question, Antonio and Sylvie looked at each other and grimaced. She probably shouldn’t have asked.

“She’s in Eva’s, I mean, her bedroom. Well, technically still Eva’s, but temporarily it’s Gabby’s.” Sylvie pointed to a closed room down the hall.

“How long has she been in there?”

“About an hour, I think?” Sylvie looked to Antonio for confirmation. He nodded. “She’s supposed to keep the door unlocked. We want to give her as much privacy as possible, but we have to take precautions.”

“Well, I can go, if you want—”

“No, no. It’s fine.” Antonio interrupted, shaking his head. “We both appreciate the company. It’s usually just us around here, and sometimes my mom, and it can get pretty boring at times.”

“Gee, thanks.” Sylvie sarcastically thanked him, bumping her hip against his. They exchanged smiles, longer than Nagel thought was necessary. It was clear there was something more than friendship between them.

“Do you live nearby?” Nagel couldn’t help but ask Sylvie. What? She was curious. Plus she was known for being blunt. So her asking an out there question wasn’t unusual. The relationship between Sylvie and Antonio seemed more than platonic, too.

“Um, like 20 minutes away. I’ve been, uh, crashing on the couch.” Sylvie was clearly not expecting the question, stuttering her way through her answer.

“Sleep on the couch my ass…” A voice slurred. All three of them turned to the sound, watching as a disheveled Gabby appeared out of the bedroom.

With a bottle of vodka. Well then. This first meeting with Gabby Dawson was going to be quite unfiltered. Her attention wasn’t on the new guest however, but on Antonio and Sylvie.

“Gabby—” Sylvie paid no attention to her friend’s snide comment, her eyes instead on the alcohol.

“Don’t Gabby me..” Gabby took an unbalanced step forward, thankfully placing the drink down on the counter she passed. Sylvie tried to help Gabby by grabbing onto her arm, but she was shrugged off.

That movement by Sylvie seemed to be the final trigger, as she then went off on a tangent. “I’m not stupid! I see you two…you sleeping together, hugging…kissing.” She pointed back and forth between the two, before directing her full attention on Sylvie. “You were always jealous of me. Saying you wanted your own Casey…..” Her voice wobbled slightly at the mention of her deceased husband, showing some sign of her real internal emotions. It was obvious she was taking her grief out on Sylvie.

Luckily Sylvie understood that, ignoring the hurtful words being thrown at her. “It’s not like that, Gabby.” She spoke softly, reaching out to grab Gabby’s hands.

Nagel couldn’t help but look at Antonio, wondering how he was taking all of this. He looked more emotionally affected than Sylvie. That was easy to see, with his clenched jaw and fidgeting hands. If Gabby kept up with her emotional outburst, her brother would surely intervene. What was holding him back with the hint of sadness in his eyes. He, like Sylvie, knew why she was reacting this way. But he wouldn’t be able to stand for it like his…..whatever Sylvie was to him. Thanks to Gabby’s drunken rant, Nagel now knows that they are really sleeping together.

“Why are you flinging your happiness in my face?” Gabby cried out, shooing Sylvie’s desperate hands away.

“I’m not—”

“You had to pick my brother, didn’t you? You couldn’t have been someone else’s whore—”

“Gabby!” Antonio’s voice was sharp, a warning. But intoxicated Gabby was unfazed.

“My husband is gone and you’re now trying to steal away Antonio from me. I’ve already lost so many people, Sylvie. Shay wouldn’t have done this to me.”

Nagel didn’t have a clue who Shay was, but Antonio and Sylvie both flinched at the mention.

At this point, she wouldn’t have been surprised if Sylvie left. But she stayed, looking even more determined than before. “Gabby….I’ll do anything for you.” She tried to talk sense into her friend, but as Nagel observed Gabby’s glazed eyes and swaying body, she wasn’t going to get any logic into her mind. Getting her back in bed was the best option.

“Bullshit….” Gabby slurred, before leaning over and throwing up all down Sylvie’s shirt.

Immediately the smell of vomit became prominent throughout the whole apartment. Everyone had barely any time to react before Gabby began to fall over. Sylvie, who was the closest, grabbed her first. But was clearly struggling to hold her up, as she was trying to avoid getting Gabby covered in the vomit.

Antonio took over. “Go get cleaned up.” He murmured to Sylvie, gesturing his chin to the direction of his bedroom. “We’ll handle this.”

We? Nagel thought of herself as a fearless woman, but she did not do vomit.

Antonio, who saw the disgust on her face, sighed. “I meant that you could help me get her situated. I don’t expect you to clean up my sister’s mess.”

Relieved, Nagel quickly stepped forward to help. She could handle helping Gabby get back into bed. But as they helped his sister into her room, Antonio leaned down to pick Gabby up entirely by himself when they were only feet away from the bed.

“Uh, okay.” Nagel watched carefully as Antonio lowered Gabby onto the mattress. It was important for her to make sure he didn’t somehow hurt himself—doing work without a partner would be a major pain in the ass. Plus, of course, she did care about the man. She would have to after spending hours upon hours with him five days a week. “Thought you wanted my help.” If didn’t need anything else, she should probably go. By this point she felt like she was intruding. Actually, when Gabby came stumbling out of her room was the moment she should have ran for it.

“We need to check her room for alcohol,” He said when he stepped back from the bed, looking around the room for bottles. “I thought Sylvie and I got all of it the other day,” He muttered, this time he was talking to himself so Nagel ignored him, looking into the closet.

She hit the jackpot. Right behind a layer of Antonio’s daughter’s clothes were bottles of alcohol in a plastic bag. They didn’t look like they were there for long. The receipt was inside the bag, which she decided to pull out. She was right with her suspicions, this was bought only yesterday.

“Dawson.” She called out softly to not wake his sister, but also still audible enough that he could hear. “Found it.”

The frown on his face grew deeper as he viewed the alcoholic beverages. He didn’t voice his feelings though, instead lowering down to pick the bag up.

“She’s not going to be happy to find that gone.” Nagel couldn’t help but comment. She took the bag when Antonio handed it to her though. Just because Gabby was going to be mad didn’t mean what Antonio was doing was wrong. Plus she was so hammered that Nagel was confident that she wouldn’t remember her being here. It would be Antonio and Sylvie that would have to deal with her. Nagel only wanted to be the person who dropped off food. Nothing more.

“Take it. Happy birthday.” Antonio said, shutting the cabinet door behind him.

A nice surprise, she had to admit. Antonio wasn’t the one to turn away alcohol normally, but this was certainly not a normal situation. She wasn’t going to complain about free alcohol, but couldn’t help but correct his statement. “My birthday is months away.”

“Early birthday present then,” Antonio shrugged, looking back at his sister before they left the room. She looked peaceful, even though she was anything but.

They were met with the sight of Sylvie, in a new shirt, one that looked familiar to Nagel. It was obvious that she had swiped the piece of clothing out of Antonio’s closet. She was down on her hands and knees, scrubbing the vomit out of the beige carpet.

“Sylvie, let me—” Antonio reached his hand out, eyeing the hand towel she was using. Scrunching up her nose, Nagel sidestepped out of the way. The mess seemed it was mostly cleaned up, making the help Antonio was offering to be useless, but the smell was still as strong as before. Another reason for her to make her exit.

She was right in her suspicion, as Sylvie got off of her knees, using her free hand to grab the cleaning supplies to her right. “I’m done already,” She said, taking a few steps backward before turning around to face the coffee table. “Don’t feel bad.”

For Antonio, that was probably an impossible task. But Nagel didn’t dare voice this aloud. After all, she wanted to get out of this mess as quickly as possible. She didn’t need to insert herself into a mindless conversation.

The scent of febreeze began to enter the room, taking over the vomit smell. After a few more sprays, Sylvie set down the bottle, turning back towards Antonio. She had a look in her eyes, one that was very familiar to Nagel. She had seen it multiple times from her ex husband before. It was the we need to talk look. Which was most likely about what had been said by intoxicated Gabby earlier.

This was the moment she had been waiting for. To make her leave.

“Well, I think I should….” She gestured to the door, taking a few steps backwards.

Luckily, Antonio didn’t argue. Since the incident, most of his energy had probably been drained from him anyways. When she saw him during work, he was the same Antonio. He put all his energy into work and Gabby, and when he didn’t have either, he faded. “I’ll see you on Monday.” He said, staying right besides Sylvie. “Thanks for the food.”

“Thanks for the alcohol.” She held up the bag. God knows she was going to need one of these tonight. She was surprised Antonio and Sylvie weren’t constantly drinking, this apartment was incredibly depressing.

But when Antonio took Sylvie’s hand into his, gripping it tightly, she realized they had another method of coping. Each other. Which she would originally assume that would be the reason they had started a relationship, but a blind man could see the love between them. It was almost nauseating, love was something she had shut herself off to after her divorce, but even she could acknowledge that they were sweet together.

Her internal musing was abruptly ended when arms wrapped around her, catching her off guard. The softness of the small body and flowery smell told her that it was Sylvie. Before she could even respond, the woman stepped back, ending the brief hug.

When she opened her mouth to speak, her voice was at a whisper. She didn’t want Antonio to hear. “Thank you for being there for him, at work.” She scooted closer, a good move on her part, as Antonio was a good listener. “It has been his escape these past for weeks and I know you have played a big part in that.” Sylvie reached out to grab Nagel’s hands, giving them a grateful squeeze. She resisted the urge to pull them away, she never was a fan of being touched, but allowed for it to continue for her partner’s……lover? girlfriend? She didn’t know exactly what they were. That curiosity was tucked into the back of her mind, planning to use it for small talk during the week. With everything that was going on with Antonio, she had to have something positive to discuss about with him.

“No problem.” She finally responded when she was able to find her words. Uncomfortable with being given credit, when all she had been doing was her job and bringing over food, she tried to lessen it. “You’ve been doing a lot, too. Being by his side. You can easily tell how much he cares about you.” The word love almost slipped through her teeth, but she was able to hold it back.

Sylvie gave a small smile at the compliment, but it was clear her mind was elsewhere now as her relationship with Antonio was brought up. “He’s an amazing guy.” She murmured, becoming quiet.

Something was up with her, but it wasn’t Nagel’s place to figure out why. She cleared her throat, hoping that would be enough to regain Sylvie’s attention. “It was nice meeting you.” She said once Sylvie’s eyes met hers again.

After an awkward wave to Antonio, Nagel forced herself to turn her back to them, heading towards the front door. She quickly opened and once through, closed it behind her. No reason to extend the cringeworthy goodbye. Especially when they were obviously wanting to have a conversation with only each other.

As she made her way through the apartment building, she tried to make herself optimistic after having the life sucked out of her at Antonio’s apartment. More like a cemetery, personally, to Nagel.

“Guess I’m having a party with myself tonight,” She muttered, watching the plastic bag swing back and forth.

No matter what, she knew she was going to have a better night than Gabby Dawson.

[spideymybucky]

Make it stop 3

Pairing: Peter Parker x MJ, Peter Parker reader, Avengers x reader, Ned x Betty. Tony Stark x Adopted!daughter!reader 

Warnings: Betrayal, insults, sadness, friendship break up, ya know the angst. SO MUCH ANGST. 

Word Coutn: 1.2k+ 

A/n: ok, I was gone cause tumblr staff made me change my email and some shit happened. The only way I could’ve entered tumblr was via phone and ugh... like its not been my month but March is here soo maybe this month is. I’ll start uploading more now. Love y’all. ALSO THE TAGGING PROBLEM IS WORLD WIDE TO PLEASE REBLOG, LIKE PEOPLES WORKS AREN’T BEEN SHOWN IN TAGS AND ITS ANNOYING. BTW MJ, FROM READERS PERSPECTIVE IS LIKE THAT. SOON WE’RE GONNA HAVE EVERYTHING THROUGH MJS’ EYES AND UNDERSTAND HER. every story has to sides

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

“God dammit (Y/n), we were so worried about you.” He said. His eyes were gleaming with worry, as he hugged her. She stood still, not moving. She wasn’t ready for this. Her body was screaming run, run away now and don’t look back. She was in flight or fight mod, and he could sense it. He took two steps back, his warmth leaving her body, and looked at her.

She pushed past him and started running. She couldn’t, nor wouldn’t, be near him. He wasn’t hers. He can’t touch her like that. Her heart shouldn’t thump like that. Why can’t he just leave? Why couldn’t I disappear? The whooshing of someone above her, knowing who it is, made her speed up.

The twigs were cracking, under her feet. The crunch of her hitting the floor, was combined with the screaming of her name, Her hair moving past every tree branch. Her legs and arms covered in scratches and Bruces. She ran until she was face to face with the avengers. FUCK. She thought.

“What the fuck (Y/n)?” Tony’s cold glare threw her off. She huffed and puffed with every breathe., standing in the middle of the street. With a thump, Peter landed next to her.

“S-sorry Mr. Stark, I scared (Y/n) and she ran.” He said, lying through his teeth. (Y/n) glanced at  him and nodded.

“Don’t worry kid, it's not your problem.” She sighed, pushing through them to get to the car. Steve placed himself infant of her. She looked up, annoyed, and tried to pass. Tony grabbed her arm, turning her around.

“Where the hell do you think you’re going?” Tony sighed. His hands were shaking, as he pushed his tousled hair back. His eyes bore dark circles and his breathe smelled of whiskey and coffee. He was a disaster.

“To the compound, if thats still my home.” Steve stiff shoulders sagged down instantly. He stepped back, looking at her. He hadn’t realized how much of a mess she looked. Her hair was all over the place, skin lifeless-even though it was spring, almost summer-and her eyes were tired, lacking their spark. How could he miss that? She was losing her will to live, just like Bucky did.

“We should talk at the compound, Tony.” Tony raised an eyebrow as Steve glanced at Peter.

“I’m taking her with me.” (Y/n) sighed and stepped into Tony’s black SUV. He slammed the door close and looked at her.

“What Tony?” Her flat, uninterested, voice echoed around the car. He looked out the window, seeing the trees pass by as Happy, who was stealing glances at them, drove.  

“Why?” She turned her head and looked at him. His defeated stance made her cringe. He was done, she had pushed him to the edge. He was done with her and she knew it. God, why do I ruin everything? Why can’t I be enough?

“I-I don’t know.” She mumbled to herself. He looked at her, really looked at her. (Y/n)’s eyes were puffy and swollen, her lips dry and cracked, her skin looked dull, she looked like a mess. Closing her eyes, she wished that all these feelings were gone. She couldn’t understand why it was all hitting her now and not months ago.

Happy stopped the car, turning It off and slowly retreating. He was a meddler, but this was a mess Tony and the others needed to solve. (Y/n/n) and Tony left the car, immediately, not talking to each other.

This was rare, in fact this was weird. (Y/n) had always been a talker, never shutting up. Once, as happy recalled, when they had go and take her molars out, the doctor had stated “No talking for a few hours until the bleeding stops.” That didn’t stop her. She had been joking and taking nonsense, not matter how much she bled out. Tony had to tie her mouth shut. He grabbed one of star-spangles scarfs used to “disguise him”-even though we all know it never works.- and tied it around her jaw and head, shutting her mouth. She looked like an adorable little girl, with a big black bow on her head.  That didn’t stop her from smiling or joking around.

Steve looked at Peter and at Wanda, through the review mirror. Maybe she’s right and (Y/n)’s in love with the kid. He sighed and looked at the road ahead. It wasn’t a long drive, maybe 5 minutes top but he had to tell the kid to leave. Peter’s just going to make everything worse, much harder. He looked at Bucky and nodded, he had to do this.

“Peter, I think you should go home.” Steves asserted. Peter rapidly looked up from his phone and opened his mouth but the shut it up. He looked confused and scared, all at the same time.

“B-but Mr. Rogers I’m (Y/n) friend and I really wanna talk to her. She just’s been avoiding my calls for the past few days, and yesterday when she walked out of school she was acting all strange and I-” He ranted out. His mouth kept going until Bucky stopped him.

“Look kid, some time apart won’t kill ya, ok?” Bucky shut him up. “And if she wants, she’ll call ya later, but right now we need to talk to’er.” Peters shoulders slump in defeat. He looked at Bucky and nodded. He grabbed is backpack and looked inside, realizing he had a way to see her.

“I’ll leave but… shouldn’t I give (Y/n) her homework?” Bucky looked up at Peter. He was grabbing some kind of text book. His eyes roamed to Steve, who only nodded.

“Go ahead kid.” Peter nodded and ran out of the car towards (Y/n)s’ room. He knocked on the door and waited for a few minutes.

(Y/n) expected to find Steve or Tony at the other side of the door, not Peter. She raised her eyebrows in confusion and nodded at him.

“Miss Glenda gave out the instructions for the end of year project, we’re in a group with MJ.” Peter rambled on. (Y/n) rolled her eyes, making Peter stop. He bit his lip and looked down.

“Oh, Yeah, I almost forgot. Here, you can copy my notes for history and we have an exam on Friday. Read chapter 10, or maybe just ask Bucky and Steve. It’s all about World War II, the howling commando.” He kept going on and on. (Y/n) grabbed the spreadsheet about the chemistry project and saw how important it was. How was she supposed to work with MJ? She hated her right now, but most of all she felt hurt. It’ll be torture seeing them together. She thought. It’s enough with school, its enough with being Tonys’ problem, now I had to pretend everything’s ok? I just need a break.

“(Y/n), hey, hey, hey, you ok?” She looked up at Peter and sighed.

“I can’t do the project with you and MJ. I’m sure Ned or Betty would want to trade. I could ask Luna to work with you… but I can’t do this” She stumbled out, moving away from her door towards her bed.

“Why can’t you work with us? It’s not a big of a deal, it’ll be a week of us working together at max.” Peter stated, walking after her.

“It’s that I don’t want to work with you, it’s just I’m not in the best of terms with Mitchell.” Peter noticed her harsh tone. He noticed how her lips curled in anger when she mentioned MJs’ name. He couldn’t comprehend why she was so mad at such a wonderful and intriguing  person. Weren’t the supposed to be best friends? He asked himself.

“Whats your problem with MJ?” 

TAGS:

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[birdysnow]

Who is your favorite OC? Pls share their backstory I must know👀

to be honest it’s totally Devon. I’ve had him sinceee about the 6th grade, and he’s been concrete since about 7th grade (I’m almost a junior!). He’s so important to me :’). Whenever I feel sad I just work on him or write about him and it cheers me up real fast. 

haha his backstory is a loooong, complicated mess. I literally went on an 1.5-2 hour rant about his backstory at a sleepover once, it was ridiculous how long it took for me to talk about him. I actually wrote a response for this ask yesterday, but it got deleted I hate my life. It was soooo long because I wrote it in the way I speak. You’re probably getting a lot more than you bargained for :’). I’ll put it below the cut so everyone else doesn’t suffer. 

im gonna use bullet points bc i like them and theyre shorter

note: universe is like. sci-fi. there’s space stuff you know

full name: Devon Mateo Westmore

born: August 16th 

a leo!!! do with that what you will

as far as parents go, they’re kinda dicks basically

Devon was a complete accident and he’s kind of treated as such

they’re pretty neglectful?? they really dont give a crap abt him frankly

they’re more interested in making bank with their jobs and turning up

has a sister who’s like graduating or smthn. she’s old. her name’s Lucía. 

she also could give less than a crap about him and had a similar experience with their parents; just wants to be free and have no attachment to this rando baby 

is a total Problem Child™ during school because of his messy life, just wants attention and love really but never really gets it

universally hated by teachers all his life

high school is especially rough he is a disaster

he’s basically like party all day every day bitches bc is parents are never home/probably wouldnt reprimand him for going out anyways

he drinks a lot, does drugs 

he bangs a lot of people irresponsibly. A LOT of people.

is a player tbh he will flirt with anyone. very pansexual. 

makes a lot of (bad) friends 2 fill the Void™ and does a lot of illegal things

anyway fast forward to when he’s like 17-18 and school’s like yep time to graduate!! and hes basically like

but he does graduate in order for the story to move forward

but now he’s like careers????????

all he’s kind of enjoyed is music throughout high school but he’s like thats not what i want to do. 

yolo, he probably says to himself one day. I’ll just join the military and become a space pilot because thats what I wanted to do when i was 8

so BASICALLY i haven’t figured out how I want this space military to work but he ends up in like an academy (he’s like around 19ish) or smthn 

this is where he starts to like chill tf out tbh

he discovers that he likes this a lot?? and he’s like dedicated to it???

a lot of like. coping happens and he has to figure out what kind of person he wants to be and recover™ himself

but yah he does well and he ends up being valedictorian nice going m8 

basically if you’re #1 in your class you get the opportunity to go to this like. school/training thingy. and it’s very exclusive but if you like graduate from their you’re like. set 

its like harvard except you could die there 

yolo, he thinks in yet another life decision he really shouldn’t be taking lightly. I want $$$$ so i’m about to make that place my bitch

he does not make that place his bitch

he suffers so much

by the end of the year/2 years he’s there, he does pretty well

He makes a bunch of good friends, and he gets a ton of experience. he’s really good because of it, as to be expected

while there the top of the class is this girl and her name is Adella

shes my daughter

Devon likes her but she’s like super stand-offish and he’s a party kid so he’s like

“hard pass.”

but he has like mad respect and he thinks she’s chill

the feelings mutual

anyways like RIGHT before they graduate she gets recruited to this special program because she’s top of the class and like disappears he never sees her again

sike

but not for a while at least……………

so like fast forward he’s like 23 maybe

he’s got a good job, he’s living it up really?? he’s just like pretty happy all around he has a life, an apartment, friends

he gets an email from this girl and she’s like yo

I’m Tamara, my mother passed away recently but I discovered that our parents are apparently siblings?? I never knew I had a cousin, I heard you live in the area and I was just wondering if you wanted to get to know each other 

and hes basically like damn if i’m about to pass up this chance!!!!!!!!

Tamara works as a programmer literally one (1) city away 

basically they just?? end up getting along really well?? Devon spends a lot of his off days hanging out with her

he’s so ecstatic to finally have someone who’s his family like she treats him like a little brother

probably Tamara also has a younger sibling, their name is Calix. they work as a doctor and dont see Tamara often but the two are close regardless

they’ll be important later but for rn they’re not relevant

anyway, at some point they make plans for Devon to meet Tamara and he ends up at her work

and she’s chilling with this guy who is absolutely

fucking

gorgeous

Devon’s sure he died, right there, behind a goddamn cubicle,,

he’s frantically trying to think up something suave to say (are you the only tennessee no– wait–) when Tamara notices him

she introduces him to her hot friend, his name is Shay

Devon tries to play it cool

“Hey would you mind if Shay came w–”

“NO NOT AT ALL I WOULDNT MIND”

they go out for lunch

he chills out a little bit on the way enough to be his usual self

Shay mistakes flirting for good-natured joking

Devon suffers

They exchange numbers 

cue pining 

Shay continues to be oblivious

He has to be told point blank by Tamara whos like “Please, for the love of all that is good, fuck him go on a date with my cousin.”

“Has he been asking me on dates every time he takes me out?? every time??”

I love Shay so much u dont even know

Shay is basically a really pure and happy person, literally nothing can get him down ever he’s just trying to live his best life

he’s everything to Devon, he’s so sunshiney and nice and Devon has just been through some stuff and his life is going well and now he has been blessed with this beautiful, perfect boy….,,,

it’s not like Devon has never dated anyone before, most of his relationships have been purely physical but he’s been in romantic relationships w people

but this is like. it he knows it. 

they date for about a year, everything’s fantastic

and then

things are heating up politically, and Devon’s in the military so they need him somewhere else

right now everyones living in like?? around india somewhere and they need him in like. canada.

hes understandably upset

he’s gotta move. acROSS THE GLOBE.

he’s not going to break up with bae but they’ve got to talk through this like Adults™

so they talk through it

and Shay’s basically like

“fuck no, i’m moving with you idiot

did you think you were just going to move away from me bench?? sike”

they move in together

I used to have their apartment layout drawn up on homestyler but they reset the system and it’s gone into the void so i’ll have to remake it :’)

so now they’re moved in which is super great everything is popping

remember Calix? they’re relevant again

basically, Calix has been dating this girl for a while now and they’ve gotten serious but their relationship is not working out because she is a mess tbh and they love each other very much but they are not good for each other

Calix isn’t emotionally receiving or helpful he’s very blunt so they end up splitting up because she doesn’t need a relationship  

Said girl is Adella

Adella is a mess basically

the program she was recruited for made her very successful, very well known in her field and in a lot of ways, among common people

but downside is there was a lot of government dirty work she was kind of pressured into doing

there’s also a lot of hush hush skirmish’s that have been occurring that she had to stop

she’s been struggling with depression for a lot of her life and she has PTSD so when her contract is up she decides to take a break™ 

her and Calix’s relationship kind of falls apart but she’s friends with Tamara and she’s like I need to leave somewhere and get out of this messiness, i’m going to move back home (Canada)

Tamara is like

LIGHTBULB DING DING DING

she doesn’t think that Adella shoudnt be on her own, she wants someone to supervise her and make sure she doesnt accidentally starve or smthn

she has the best intentions but she kind of tricks Devon and Shay tbh

“Hey you guys got an apartment with an extra room?? Can you take in my friend for a while, she’ll pay rent, she has a job she’s just trying to find a nice place to live but she needs to move to the area rn”

the two of them are like “yeah sure lol sounds legit tammy we ly

Adella shows up on their doorstep with the intention to live there for like 2 years

cue Shay internally flipping his shit over this lowkey celebrity whos going to LIVE in HIS APARTMENT DEVON DID YOU CLEAN THE KITCHEN

Devon is not phased 

he knows Adella from school so he’s just kind of like hey its u whats banging girlie

he basically just treats her like normal and she is so appreciative 

basically they become SQUAD i love them and thats the beginning of my story and thus ends background 

i’m sorry this was so long i tried so hard but i got carried away. double sorry for taking so long I have like 3 end of school projects due rip me

Thank you so much for asking!! I can’t tell you how much it means to me :’)) If you made it this far through my story I applaud you. thanks for reading!!! Feel free to message me if you have any questions 

[lady-hammerlock]

Assassin’s Creed Rogue - The Novel - Chapter 9

AN: We’ve made it to the canon now. Huzzah!

25th July 1757

If any of my Templar brethren are reading this you are undoubtedly wondering how it was that I came to change sides.

For the next few years everything seemed perfectly fine. I did whatever tasks Achilles or Liam assigned me, although deep in my heart I often questioned what we were doing, and wondered if could truly be in the right when we brought about so much death.

Occasionally I would confide in Liam concerning these doubts, hoping that he might know of some way to assuage them. Often if my doubts were concerning a target he would have something to tell me concerning the Templar’s morality, or lack thereof. Sometimes it even helped.

But nothing looked as though it was going to change any time soon. I may not have believed in the Assassins’ cause, but I believed in my dear friend Liam, and so I kept my head down and did whatever was asked of me.

Trying to pinpoint when exactly it was that things began to change is difficult, but I suppose it was around the beginning of 1752. Yes, the more I think about it, the more I am certain this is when I should begin the next chapter of my life. You see, this particular incident is significant in more ways than one, because it was on this day that I met the love of my life.

I was accompanying Liam and Chevalier de la Vérendrye on a mission for the Assassins. I had no idea what the goal of our mission was; only that Achilles had commanded me to accompany the others to a freezing cold outpost up north, where we would be meeting with a group of smugglers.

Our journey had taken us to a small island in the North Atlantic. Liam and I were out gathering supplies, at least as far as La Vérendrye was concerned. We were both sick of the man after being cooped up with him on board the Gerfaut, which was his ship, and therefore crewed by his men, few of which spoke anything other than French, and even fewer of which wanted anything to do with myself or Liam. Neither I nor my friend were in much of a hurry to return to the camp, and so we messed around for a good hour or two before Liam suggested that we should split up so that we might actually get some work done.

I wanted to spend as much time away from La Vérendrye as possible though, and so it wasn’t long before I had taken to the trees and was occupying myself sneaking after Liam as carefully and quietly as I could.

It had become a game between myself, Liam and Hope to try and sneak up on one another when we could. Hope almost always got the better of both of us, and I was still a fair way from being able to get the better of Liam, but that didn’t stop me from trying.

I waited until Liam was focussing on some flotsam that he had discovered on the nearby shore, before attempting to leap down on top of him and catch him by surprise. He had shown no signs of being aware of my presence, and I thought that maybe I had finally managed to get the better of him. He turned aside at the last moment however, meaning I pounced on nothing but the snow-covered ground.

He laughed a little at me.

“Admit it!” I demanded. “I nearly had you.”

We started to talk, but our conversation was swiftly interrupted when we heard a gunshot coming from the direction of our main camp. Liam suggested we return, and I wasn’t about to argue with him. The sound of gunfire could not possibly signify anything good.

We ran back to the campsite, Liam leading and me following close behind. I heard La Vérendrye’s cursing before we saw him. When we arrived at the campsite there was no mistaking the fact that it had been attacked.

La Verendrye’s men had taken casualties. Only a couple of them had died, but many of the others had been wounded.

La Vérendrye could be temperamental at the best of times. Having his men wounded had only put him in an even worse mood than usual.

“Where the hell were you two!?” he roared at us.

We had returned as quickly as we possibly could have. I don’t know what more he expected from us.

“We were out hunting,” I told him. It was not the entire truth, but I didn’t care. I had well and truly had enough of La Vérendrye and his temper during our time on board the Gerfaut.

“What happened here?” I asked him, trying not to let my temper and my dislike of the man take control of me.

“My men were attacked by some English sea dogs,” he replied. That much was obvious, and his lack of any sort of explanation only served to infuriate me more. He hadn’t shown me an ounce of respect or good will since I had first joined the Assassins, and that certainly didn’t show any signs of changing. He always was such an arrogant, unfeeling...

My apologies. I realised that I can’t continue to describe him without my language devolving, and that sort of thing should not be put down on paper. It is just that the thought of him even now makes my blood begin to boil.

“Why Captain Joseph,” I taunted him, knowing that he hated people addressing him without using at least some of his correct titles. God almighty, he could be such a…

There I go again.

“Couldn’t you fight them all off by yourself like you’re always saying?” I continued to taunt him. Liam gestured frantically for me to hold off on taunting the other man, but I ignored him.

I still feel now that my words were perfectly warranted. To listen to La Vérendrye boast you would think his family responsible for every great advancement the French have ever made.

I got an even better response than I had expected. Not only did he chastise me for shortening his name, as though I could possibly forget Captain Louis-Joseph Gautier, Chevalier de la Vérendrye, with how often he chose to remind us of his titles and illustrious family, but he also flew into a rant about how I would never be a good Assassin, and how I didn’t even understand what it took to be one. I shouldn’t have been surprised; in those days my faults were one of his absolute favourite topics of conversation.

“Do you even know what it means to be an Assassin?” he continued to rant at me. “It means being responsible for an ancient and proud tradition. It means obeying your mentor without question. How else will we ensure freedom for the human race?”

To be perfectly honest, that was one of the things about the Assassins that had always bothered me the most. All of them, but La Vérendrye and Achilles especially, liked to go on about how they were trying to help the human race, how what they were doing was somehow freeing people, and yet in the entire time I was with them, I don’t think I ever saw them directly help anyone, much less free them. All they did was end people’s lives, and while Liam tried to assure me that the men and women we killed were all terrible people, I am not sure I have ever seen a Templar commit even half of the wicked deeds that the Assassins would have had me believe.

“That’s pretty words Chevalier,” I replied, “but I don’t feel too free at the moment.”

I never did feel free with the Assassins, especially with him. I was supposed to blindly follow their orders after all. How the hell was that freedom?

“Well then,” La Vérendrye yelled at me. “Feel educated!”

And with that he was flying at me, all fists and rage. Unfortunately for La Vérendrye, if there was one skill that I had already possessed before joining the Assassins, it was the ability to take or throw a punch, and while La Vérendrye was a tough opponent, I got in a few solid hits before Liam managed to pull us apart.

The fight had been a long time coming. When I look back, I am surprised that it was the first time our tempers had actually boiled over to such a degree. I suppose I should be glad that Liam was there, because if he hadn’t been then La Vérendrye and I might have actually killed one another.

As it was he remained an enraged mess despite Liam’s attempt to calm him down.

“The Royal Navy attacked my vessel and forced my men to flee!” La Vérendrye screamed. “We are stranded, and what is worse, the smugglers we were supposed to meet have been taken prisoner.”

And that had all happened while Liam and I had been out hunting. Things were indeed bad. Without the Gerfaut we had no way off the island. I might have been slightly more sympathetic to La Vérendrye’s cause however, if it wasn’t clear that Liam was the only thing stopping him from throwing a few more punches in my direction.

“Shay and I will free those smugglers,” Liam told La Vérendrye. “See to your wounded.”

La Vérendrye was supposed to be the leader for this mission, but Liam was clearly the one actually in command at that moment. He was calm and direct, while it was clear to the both of us that La Vérendrye needed time to calm down, and was in no state to be attempting proper Assassin work.

The British camp was set up just around the corner from our own campsite. Liam led the way there and we spent a few moments assessing the situation. The British ship lay just a short way offshore. A small squadron of lobster soldiers were still in their campsite, and had three of the smugglers with them. I don’t know what they planned to do with them. Possibly they intended to interrogate them, but whatever the British planned for the smugglers, it couldn’t have been pleasant.

Between Liam and I we made short work of the British at the campsite, and managed to save the three smugglers without any of them coming to harm. They were incredibly grateful, and pointed us in the direction of the British ship, where the rest of their brethren were still being held captive.

Liam attended to the smugglers we had rescued while I approached the British ship.

I would like to say that as soon as I saw her I stopped in my tracks and stared, but the truth was that it wasn’t until we had completed our mission and I was free to take a closer look at the British vessel that I realised how beautiful she was. She was a simple sloop-of-war, far smaller than La Vérendrye’s Gerfaut, and she had clearly been through a lot, but there was something about her that called to me. I caught her name, the ‘Morrigan’, when I climbed up her aft to sneak aboard her rear deck. Perhaps it was destiny. After all, my father’s ship had been named after a woman from mythology. It only seems right that my own should be as well.

There weren’t all that many British soldiers stationed on the deck of the Morrigan, and I was able to take care of them fairly easily. The remaining two smugglers had been bound hand and foot near the fore, and I quickly set to work freeing these men as well.

During that time however the rest of the ship’s crew had been alerted to my presence, and soon they came pouring out from below decks to challenge me. I held them off as well as I could, but by the time Liam and La Vérendrye appeared my fellow Assassins were a very welcome sight indeed. Together the three of us, with a little help from the smugglers we had freed, were able to take down the remaining redcoats.

“I was saving those fellows for you,” I joked, once the redcoats had been taken care of.

“Very thoughtful,” Liam quipped back.

Apparently my freeing the smugglers and taking over the British vessel had been particularly impressive, because it even brought me a complement from La Vérendrye, or as close as he ever got where I was concerned

“Maybe you are not completely useless Shay,” he told me.

At any other time I might have had something to say in response to such a back-handed compliment. As it was, my attention was completely taken up by something else. I had begun to notice how beautiful the British ship was. Sure, she was desperately in need of a new coat of paint, and could definitely do with a few extra cannon, but she was so beautiful that she took my breath away.

In the years since my father’s death I had grown to miss life on the ocean. The only time I had really been able to venture out to sea while I had been with the Assassins had been on the Gerfaut, under La Vérendrye’s command. Needless to say, those had hardly been the most pleasant of missions.

Staring at the Morrigan then, at the old, beautiful woodwork that covered her wheel and sides, and her strong old masts, I had an idea.

“Speaking of useless,” I muttered, my hand trailing over the nearest patch of wood, “those blockheads won’t be needing this vessel anymore.”

By the time La Vérendrye spoke, I had already come up with half a dozen reasons as to why my taking possession of the Morrigan made sense. The Assassins could do with another ship. After all, what if something happened to La Vérendrye or the Gerfaut? Besides, I had plenty of experience on the ocean, and it seemed a shame to have all that knowledge go to waste. And she would be another source of income for the Assassins.

As it turned out I didn’t need a single one of these excuses. La Vérendrye realised what I was suggesting without me even having to utter another word of explanation.

“This pile of merde?” La Vérendrye said, looking around in surprise and disgust at the ship. I did not need the French curse translated. I had heard it often enough around La Vérendrye. He had insulted my ship, but I did not let that bother me. If he couldn’t see how beautiful she was, then that was to his detriment.

“She is yours,” La Vérendrye conceded. “Now bring me back to my ship.”

Which only left me with the problem of recruiting a crew. Luckily the smugglers were all grateful enough that we had saved their lives that they offered to serve as at least a temporary crew. A few of them even stayed with me permanently, including one of the men whose life I saved on the shore, and who is, despite all the odds, still serving with me now.

His name is Ford Ballantyne, and he proved to be a… I was going to say invaluable member of my crew, but I am not sure that is quite the right description for the man. He never really left his past behind him. He does his fair share of the work and no more, and is an incredibly bad man to gamble against, being responsible for taking money off at least half of the crew at some stage or another, but he has always been excellent for keeping up morale, and has a remarkable singing voice which he has used countless times to lead the men of the Morrigan in sea shanties.

As for Liam, he stepped into the role of first mate without me even having to ask.

When we found the Gerfaut we discovered that the British had set upon her. The Morrigan entered her first battle with her new captain, and even though we were operating with a minimal crew who were all new to their positions I am proud to say that they conducted themselves admirably, and before long La Vérendrye had been seen safely back to his own ship, although it was clear that she was in urgent need of repairs.

I for one was glad to see La Vérendrye gone. After a few hushed conversations with some of the smugglers we had freed it appeared as though his mission, whatever that might have been, was concluded successfully, or at least had moved onto the next stage; a stage that Liam and I were no longer welcome to join him on.

I never did find out what exactly our purpose was in the North Atlantic, although considering later events I can make a few educated guesses. Whatever it was, Liam and I agreed that it was time for the two of us and my new vessel to return to the homestead and report to Achilles.

During the few weeks that it took us to return to the homestead the crew of the Morrigan settled into an easy rhythm. We made a couple of stops along the way, recruited a few more men to serve as the Morrigan’s crew and ordered a few improvements for my new vessel. By the time we made it back to the homestead the Morrigan and her crew were definitely enough to make me proud.

I had not realised how much I had missed being out on the open seas until I was at the Morrigan’s wheel. The sea breeze blowing against my face; the camaraderie of the men under my command. It was like coming home in a way, and this time I was Captain, something that I had never experienced before, but which I soon found fit me like a glove.

Everything seemed perfect. I should have known it was too good to last.

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[teamendgame-blog]

WTF Wednesday (or, Thoughts after 7x12)

Hello My Darlings,

Kate here. Another WTF Wednesday has dawned... and by that, I mean my brain just circles around WTF all day long whilst I pretend to be a professional but really am solely preoccupied by trying to figure out all the pieces of the PLL puzzle! (Like my brother, I can also expect my "Employee of the Year" award any minute now!)

TODAY however, I figured I would take you all on the journey that is my crazy mind today and live-blog my thoughts as I have them! I can't promise any of this shit will make sense or be in any sort of coherent order, but hopefully it will spark theories, ideas and maybe some answers! I don't know about you, fellow Rosewood residents, but I am desperate to either figure this out before actual EndgAme or be checked into to Radley trying!  (BEWARE TO THOSE WHO ARE BEHIND - Spoilers yonder!) 

HERE WE GO:

- Going back to my obsessive rant from my last post, there is NO way Melissa could have "not known" about Spencer's grand entrance into the Hastings family... How does a 5 year old - especially a smart, precocious, question-asking 5 year old like we can only assume Melissa Hastings was - get a baby sister sprung on her with no explanation!? I don't know where to go with this line of questioning really... Is Melissa AD or involved in the whole AD game? Even if Ron-Ron and Miracle Grow Peter managed to dupe a 5 year old, at some point in her life Melissa would probably have questioned why Spencer all of a sudden showed up when Ron Ron was never preggers, so is THAT why she's such a bitch to Spencer? She knows that there's some sort of mystery or drama around her younger "sibling" and resents having had the spotlight taken off her for even a nano-second by someone who isn't a total Hastings? This could provide some depth as to why Melissa was so cruel to Spencer - or the actual secret she wanted to protect Spencer from.  Let's not forget that Melissa, suitcase in tow, gate-crashed Mona's Army against Ali meeting, all large and in charge! She's always been too mysterious and suspicious to justify simply so she must have a hand in all of this, right!?

- WHY THE BOARD GAME... or rather, what are the stakes? Is the point of the game to get the PLLs to go to jail (since there is a "Go to Jail" spot on the game board)? But they were already in jail and then poached and put in the dollhouse. That would be an awfully repetitive end goal for AD... unless of course Cece's entire "confession" was a lie and it wasn't really her that poached them and doll-housed them. But we saw the video of Noel helping torture them in the dollhouse so this is all just SO convoluted! So for argument's sake, let's cross off the purpose as being them going to jail because CLEARLY if that were anyone's top priority, these ladies (and their parents!) have done more than enough to lock them up behind bars and, always, each incarnation of A has video evidence. The only logical motive, really, is torture. Whatever AD's beef with the PLLs is, they want to torture them by controlling their lives (like they are dolls)... But what about this "Winner Takes All" thing? Is AD challenging them and insinuating that if they WIN the game, they defeat him or her? Is this a duel to the death....? For a show that has been SO clever and has managed to outsmart me every season I need to believe that there is more to this EndgAme than just the show ending. WHY WOULD AD BE READY TO END THIS!? Like, why now? Why is it all ending NOW? For this to make sense there has to be a reason.

- I've been really, really thinking about this whole feeling of letdown and disappointment that Gavin and I expressed during our live blog - a feeling that seems to be echoed as I hit the rest of Tumblr and the PLL-watching world. Yes, we were promised "answers every episode" and at first glance we seemed to get none. But the more I think about it the more I'm coming back to the WHY as well as what answers DID we get? In the past, seasons were 24 episodes so the fact that there are only 20 this season (with a 2 hour finale) lead me to believe that the showrunners are not in need of filler episodes to stretch the story out for a set number of episodes to fill a specific tv schedule. (Plus -- and here's the mid-30 year old side of my brain that is mostly suppressed given my penchant for teenage-geared tv -- more episodes = more ad revenue = more money for those in charge so its ESPECIALLY prudent to think about the fact that this season is rather short.... they COULD have stretched it out into 15 episodes and I would be just as glued and watching live, soaking in the advertisements... ahem, rant over). Back to my point! The fact that there are SUCH few episodes leads me to believe (hope? deluded hope?) that there is really important information and answers in this episode that are not beat-us-over-the-head obvious. I need to rewatch it tonight...

- So hold the blind phones a sec... can someone please remind me - when Jenna was carted off in the 7A finale and shoved in that van and had a rubber mask thrown at her, she groped around and - with fear? awe? in her voice exclaimed "You're AD!" KEEP HOLDING THOSE BLIND PHONES KIDDIES - was this the first time we got acknowledgement of Jenna knowing about AD?! And if that is the case - and even if its not - HOW DOES JENNA KNOW AD WEARS A MASK!? Like... whoever this creepo is was walking around in broad daylight without people completely realizing they were decked out in more prosthetics than Mrs. Doubtfire so how on EARTH does Jenna know?! AD must have something on Jenna (and Noel) have been using them as pawns somehow. How else would that comment even begin make sense!? So she knows about AD, and is then carted off... her glasses are removed and she's nervously drinking tea (end of episode 7x11) and then says "You promised to tell me about the game today". IS SHE PART OF THE GAME!? Why would AD revel anything to Jenna? So AD hands her a braille binder (seriously, bitch better be thankful AD compensates for her blindness) and she smiles while whispering "Endgame". So let's think for a second.... AD can't be solely communicating with her through Braille (also, how does one produce Braille at home? Some sort of special printer perhaps? Just curious) so at this point she has to know who they are, right!?! Regardless, she waltzes into the police station to chat with Marco Fury and obsess over Spencer's breathing, so clearly she's either a pawn or a voluntary player... she's not a victim, otherwise AD wouldn't let her just traipse around Rosewood with her "bookends" to guard her. I feel like these facts are important, I just can't yet piece them together.

- Emily's game piece moved.... I say again.... Emily's game piece moved. IS this like Jumanji (side bar: how Canadian did Shay sound when she said "Jumanji"!? Also, THANK YOU PLL WRITERS for voicing our sentiments!!) or did *someone* move her piece?! I think this is also a huge thing... Also, the fact that Hanna was attacked in the shoe shop (the shoe shop MONA SENT HER TO MIGHT I ADD) with a text threatening her to "wait her turn".... this game is moving them systematically, in turns, just like actual game pieces on a board. INTRIGUING!! More thoughts to come after my rewatch.

- Yes, yes we all hate the ancillary characters like Katherine Daly who appear and provide temporary relevance (*cough* weirdo Johnny I'm looking at you and your homemade paints *cough*) but honestly? Its realistic. This show started with these girls in 10th grade ("That Night") and now they are out of college. OF COURSE there are going to be random people in their lives - and not everyone we meet in our lives is there forever, sometimes we know people for only a short while. Ahem... anyways, stepping on my tangent-flavored-soap box. Clearly there is something UP with Hanna and her budding fashion career and unfortunately I can't help feeling like Mona may be involved here. It is SUCH a coincidence that Mona claimed Katherine knew her and that's how she could hook Hanna up to dress her... and conveniently Hanna wasn't around when Mona raided her closet and nabbed her personal stash of clothing... and conveniently the ONLY dress Katherine is interested in is the one that Hanna didn't totally design herself/designed when she worked for Claudia... and conveniently the only appropriate shoe choice are the shoes Hanna is having fixed in Philly.... and conveniently Katherine, though a rich Daddy's girl socialite, can't afford her own shoes? I mean, *I* get weird about sharing shoes with friends -  but a rich "it" girl who worships fashion? Yeah, sure she's gonna take some random chick's shoes to wear, I believe that 100%.... and conveniently, when Hanna goes to get those shoes she gets locked in a cage and gets a threatening AD text... and conveniently at the same time as this, dumbass Jenna is wearing the SAME dress but in white (bitch can't even SEE the beading!).... Guys, I hate to say it but I feel like Mona may still be riding the A train voluntarily... So no, Katherine as a "person" isn't important in the sense that she's endgame but she may be leading us to clues why someone else is... It was Mona's game to start with - she and Charlotte even had that weird board game in Radley so it isn't far-fetched to believe that Mona is part of the endgame too.

- There is no justifying that little bitch, Addison Derringer, though. Well, it was funny when Emily was all (to Ali): "Am I mistaken or is she -" and Ali immediately cuts her off with "Nope, she's worse". Loved that! I mean, there will always be mean girls, and clearly Emily PTSD Fields isn't cutting any of them slack... Ugh ok, I guess there COULD BE justification for this character. The PLLs are being controlled by AD, again like game pieces on a game board, and they are each being dragged into their dark side. Spencer is having to face the realities of her parentage which has lead her to a very dark place already, especially in her interactions with Ron Ron. Emily finally grew balls......but they are biting her IN THE ASS because she just can't control her attitude now. Even her friends are commenting on it... She's being dragged into a dark place and AD is exploiting her new found backbone. All Lucy Hale seemed to talk about in interviews was Aria being in a "dark place" in this last season... so I'm sensing a theme!

- Its interesting that all their game pieces have them dressed as their High School selves - including Ali in her ever-popular yellow top (on a differently shaped base piece than the other girls....) I feel like this leads us back to AD being in this from the beginning... the conductor of this roller coaster ride... the REAL A. I think Mona could have been a pawn and that her A-days were the first stirrings of this game....

I think its clear I need to rewatch episode 7x12 and compile some more thoughts once I've done so... And I think its clear I need a new hobby.

8 EPISODES LEFT, Y'ALL!

Kisses, -K

[bonesandsalt]

Log Day 98 (Thursday, October 1, 1925)

The Christophers are arguing, and I’ve been strictly warned by Shader to stay out of it. Joshua is angry that Chrono failed to protect Rosette, and that she made the contract with Chrono. Rosette is angry because Joshua is angry about Chrono. She’s also angry because Joshua appeared to defend my actions.

(He hadn’t, really. He attempted to mediate between myself and Rosette while we were arguing. She took the attempt badly, and they started arguing. When I attempted to intervene Joshua took it badly, and Rosette took it even worse because Joshua said, “Master, go away, let me handle this.” So I left to Rosette screaming at Joshua about not needing to be handled and that Joshua wasn’t my slave.)

That was two days ago, and I am tempted to toss them both into the nearest water collection tank. They have both settled into a sullen sort of silence and glares, so at least it’s quieter. I don’t see how mediating between them would have been a bad idea, but I am willing to respect Joshua’s request that I not interfere.

Shader is continuing the broadcasts, and has actually been in contact with various small communities. We’ve also picked up some broadcasts by remnants of the Magdalen Order. They make dire pronouncements about trusting the advice of demons. They’ve been generally offering assistance, but very little in the way of information/education. There have also been a few direct threats that I’m going to have to address at some point.

Shader wants to drop radios. I don’t think we have the resources to make as many radios as she would like. She’s also scheduled music and other audio programming, as if she were running a radio station. Joshua seems enthused by the idea of a radio station, Rosette bemused.  

(Shader is still in contact with Kadros and his allies, which is not as upsetting as I would have thought. One of his allies is a defector of Physician rank, and he’s apparently willing to tutor Shader.)

I am continuing the harvest of the garden rooms, and the chicken flock is doing well.

I have been debating acquiring horses. The garage we used for a stable is still intact. (Mostly because of Genai, he was ridiculously fond of the creatures.) We won’t be able to find gasoline for much longer, and while we could alter the truck and van to run on other fuels, it might be more economic to use horses. On the other hand, I would have to teach Joshua and Rosette how to ride.

Rosette approached me during one of my rest periods. I was in the music room, playing with a ragtime composition I’d been working on intermittently, and I think she was drawn in by the music. “You play the piano?” she asked sounding startled.

“No, Rosette, it’s a player piano,” I said, turning to face her.

She flushed. “I thought you were Joshua.”

“Were you looking for him?”

“No, just exercising.” She looked a little upset, as if remembering she was angry both at Joshua and myself. She glanced at my notes and the music. “I didn’t think you’d play the piano.”

“I play several instruments,” I said. “Clarinet, guitar, organ, piano.”  

“Why?” She asked.

“Because I like music,” I said patiently. “And because the only way to amplify and direct as much astral energy as I needed to raise Pandaemonium was through the Oratorio I composed.”

Rosette snorted. “Oh. You composed that thing? I guess I shouldn't be surprised, it was so overdramatic and stuffy...”

I admit to being stung by Rosette’s comment. “I really don't think you're qualified to critique my music, Miss Christopher,” I said.

“I don't need to know how to play to know what something sounds like, do I?” Rosette asked.

“I mean, I'm questioning your musical taste, if it exists, and your bias,” I said.

Rosette glared. “I have musical taste!”

“I doubt that,” I replied. “Also, you’re biased.”

Rosette made an indignant sound. “Okay, I’m biased, but I do too have musical taste!” She named bands and singers, and we somehow ended up discussing music for the next hour.

Joshua had an asthma attack this evening, possibly exacerbated by dust (he was cleaning air filters) and pushing himself too hard and insisting he was fine. Rosette fussed, Joshua snapped, and then Shader went off into a tirade. “Asthma is not psychosomatic, it is not a mental illness, and if it were a mental illness it wouldn’t make Joshua any more or less fit than any other human.” She then went into a thunderous rant about human medicine with side trips into her feelings about eugenics and Social Darwinism that left the Christopher siblings staring.

“Shayshay, I thought we were supposed to let the Christophers sort each other out,” I say when she finally winds down.

Shader glared at the old nickname, her ears back and tail twitching. “Don’t call me that,” she snapped.

“Shayshay?” Rosette asked.

“Shay means ‘busy’ in a ‘really curious and sticking your nose into things’ kind of way,” Joshua explained. “Like a little kid.”

“Joshua!” Shader protested indignantly.

“She was really active as a child,” I said. “Chrono and I were given the job of watching over her in hopes of keeping us out of trouble and learning responsibility. She was about six, we were about ten.”

Rosette looked baffled. “It’s really hard to imagine you as a little kid.”

“He’d look just like Chrono, Rosette,” Joshua said.

“I know, but still,” she said, frowning. “It’s just really weird.”

“They were great big brothers,” Shader said. “When they weren’t making up stupid nicknames.”

“Stupid nicknames you earned,” I said.

“Urgh,” Shader said. “I’m sorry about the outburst,” she said. “I found something out about something that happened to a friend a few days ago. It was pretty bad, and you two kind of reminded me of it.”

Joshua apologizes, Rosette asks about what happened. Joshua points out that whatever it is, Shader might not want to talk about it. This almost starts the arguments back up again, but Shader interjects with, “No, it’s okay Joshua. It was something he told me about, but I don’t think it’s really private, just awful.”

“And we reminded you of it?” Joshua asked.

Shader nodded. “Kind of? I mean your situation and his isn’t really similar but just…” She makes a gesture with her hands. “The concept that the sick or crippled are a waste of resources. The way people get locked up in attics or worse. People being sterilized because ignorance and a lack of resources is the same as being mentally limited because if they were intelligent they wouldn’t be poor.” She took a breath. “And I’m going to start ranting again.”

She took another breath. “Okay. Once upon a time there was a family of sorcerers who were very rich. They very strongly supported various eugenics laws, and then something terrible happened. Something was very wrong with their son. He stopped speaking, he became overwhelmed easily, he stopped making eye contact. The slightest of changes in daily activities could upset him. Since he had previously seemed to be precociously bright, this was very upsetting to the family. They wanted to hide this strange illness because it would be a scandal to have a child like this.”

“It probably would have been better for them to lock him in an attic or put him in an institution somewhere and forget about him than what they did do. They used sorcery, and began controlling him like a puppet. Spells to make him act ‘normal,’ a demon to pull the strings and make him seem like the bright little boy they remembered him as. And it seemed to work, and they almost forgot about the spells and how they had imprisoned their son in his own body. How they turned a demon into his nursemaid. Then the world ended, and the spells broke.”

“The demon broke free?” Rosette guessed.

“No, they both did,” Shader said. “Galley and the demon broke free, and neither of them remembers what happened to the family, but they are pretty sure there was a fire, because Galley was badly burned.”  

Rosette looked horrified, so did Joshua. “Are they okay now?” Rosette asked.

Shader nodded. “Yes. They’ve been through a lot, but they’re better. They have friends, they have a community. But I’m still upset about it, so I’m sorry I blew up.”

“Kadros’ allies?” I asked.

Shader nodded again. “Two of them, anyway,” she said.

“You’re getting along with them very well,” I said.

She shrugged. “They’re nice people, even if Kadros is a Pursuer.”