#I could probably survive being thrown into a swimming pool but if I fall into the ocean I'm gone lol

[mademoiselle-crabaletta]

It kinda sucks to be an adult and your parents didn't teach you how to swim or sign you up for lessons, so now the only options are to teach yourself or make peace with drowning lol

[blushing-starker]

Cold mates and black coffees

For @starkerfestivals prompt of mates

There is, he supposes, something beautiful about a world such as this, primitive yet advanced and sophisticated. Children no taller than his knee carry around super computers that fit in the palm of one's hands, talk to friends thousands of miles away whenever they want. It used to take him months to receive his preferred concoction for the early night wake up call, now stores inhabit every corner of every city. They patiently wait to receive their dependents, all sorts of people relying on some version of the simple black coffee to jolt their system. Convenient, sure, no doubt about that. A quick stop at a Starbucks and violá, five hours of productivity guaranteed. But nothing builds character like swimming laps through a freezing lake infested with piranhas to keep away the urge to rest for just another five minutes. Unfortunately, sleepless days were the norm for him and Rhodey whenever they endeavored to race each other underwater.

There are clothes, too. Clothes for each season available year round. Fox fur adorns a lanky mannequin next to a twin showcasing how breezy summer fabrics can be. Riding boots that he would have spent a small fortune on decades ago shine below man made light for the cost of a nice meal over at Pepper's. Jewels fine enough for the family vault enchant any who take so much as two steps in either direction. Everything is for sale; it just means swiping a plastic card, presenting a number off a super computer or giving the cashier the remains of ancient trees. He could buy an ice cream cone (with sprinkles, of course, he's not an idiot) and immediately wander over to a restaurant selling sizzling curry. It's what his father dreamed about, a thousand years ago. How odd then, that his only heir couldn't be more nonchalant to all this.

It's his what, first month back from sleeping for half a century? He got accustomed to this whirlwind of a consumerist world by the first week. The soft purr of self-driving engines, flashing neon street signs, a melting pot of twenty, thirty languages, glittering clothes clashing with garish makeup, an overwhelming scent of smoke, perfume and money is as familiar as the palm of Rhodey's left hand or Pepper's right. Is it fantastic, being alive for the wild ride that is the twenty-first century? Yes, of course it is. But it's his father's dream; not his. His dream is the same as what drove Maria Stark into the world: finding his mate. Which, logically speaking, won’t happen until time has colored his hair with quite a bit more starlight and streaked thin lines around not too shabby cheekbones. (Rhodey’s teasing words.)

Going along with logic, there is a chance his mate will never show up. It was mere luck his father met the only woman besides Peggy that could stand his whole. Well, that could just stand him, period. A mate is found by scent, identified by touch and only bound with words. If his father had gone for one more drink, he’d probably be as real as the tooth fairy. In the back of his head, there lives a voice. And this voice he named Miss Lucky. She told him how lucky he would need to be in order to find a mate not too close to cradle or grave, a person that saw eye to eye in the majority of the basics and was open to his predilection. Someone that wouldn’t fear or expose him, wouldn’t want to strike the killing blow themselves. And Christ, with or without Miss Lucky, it’s a fool’s idea, thinking that in the middle of New York amidst one of the coldest winters to ever grace the city, his mate, his soul’s match, his other heart will chance upon him and actually accept the fact that he barely exudes a scent. Let alone something useful enough to help others recognize his class.

That’s the one downfall to living in this time; so much tension regarding one’s class. It is infinitely better than before when there were only three possibilities and the social restrictions could very rarely be shattered. But now it’s about pulling rank, percentages listed on a piece of paper could be used against you or signify one’s survival. A double-edged sword. To be a nurse, any applicants must be less than thirty percent alpha. Soldiers were forbidden from entering foreign countries if they had more beta characteristics than not. Lovers, in some parts of the world, could marry exclusively when their percentages were compatible. In the old times, if you smelled like an omega, you were treated as such. That could entail being thrown into a whorehouse or perceived as royalty destined to bring life into the world. Once puberty came, a simple prick and a vial of blood determined one’s next decision regarding the future.

He took the test. Just out of curiosity and it’d be rude not to provide a mate with information so readily accessible merely because of an unjustified fear over his identity. He is an alpha. And if the test had said otherwise, it would have been no problem. Of course not, he would have been proud to identify as a beta or omega. His mother was a beta and his nanny, basically his second mother, was an omega. No shame would’ve clouded his mind at receiving such news. The matter was this, though, he had believed to be an alpha the entirety of his life. If the paperwork said that was his lowest percentage, different rules and procedures, updated to today’s society, would need to be learned.

And he’s so tired of it all when only a handful can smell the fact he’s an alpha. What was he supposed to do, carry the results in his pocket in case a bigot searched for a fight? No, that would be, as Pepper had made very clear before, extremely silly.

He carries the test in case his mate considers such matters important. Or their family. Yes, it’s not because he worries that society will somehow doubt his identity. In the end, being an alpha is an integral part of who he is. It shouldn’t be that way and he barely knows what that means, but it’s true. Miss Lucky comes back around swiftly now, what if his mate isn’t interested in him because of his percentage? What then? Learn what the other classes represent to that person and behave in ways they believe suit said classes? Could his match be with a pureblood, intent on “staying true” to their highest percentage? Would he be able to, cinnamon. Wait, cinnamon and honey? Is that rain and sunlight? Since when does Starbucks incorporate those smells? And how the hell does he know what sunlight smells like? He’s insane. There’s no other explanation, oh that must have hurt.

A young man has just barreled into him. Slammed into his arm like a linebacker. A linebacker that weighs a feather and a half. How is he this light, a breeze had more force. What should he, what’s the proper ritual here, oh my god

“Your nose is bleeding- “

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking. I’m just late for class and- “

“Calm down and let me buy you some coffee; you’re half dead- “

“Shit, your coat. I will pay you back, I swear.”

He hums, looks down and apparently he was too involved in his quest to find a mate that he completely bypassed the thought that this man had accidently crashed into him while holding a coffee…

A mate. He doesn’t know what sunlight smells like. How could he? Unless that’s what his mate smelled like. The young man inhales sharply, lets out a little “oh, I think, I know it’s you.” and, on further reflection, he notices this kid has the voice of an angel. Soft and kind while not being so lilting he’d think it weak and demure. Ah, he looks like an ethereal entity too. Of course he does.

It’s the eyes that do it for him, enchant him enough he wants to kneel and propose right there in the hopes of waking up each night to those amber pools as familiar and mysterious as the universe itself. The rosy lips, pink cheeks and sweeping lashes are also quite nice. He has the body of a being from the old tales, a nymph or a muse destined to bring light and joy to the world. And black coffee to coats older than his father and grandfather combined.

“Could I touch you properly? I think spilling sugar over that coat didn’t really give me the chance to feel my mate, Mister?” Rhodey’s gonna annihilate him. This is a child, twenty-one at most. They could exchange numbers; communicate when his best friend wouldn’t be tempted to take one look and accuse him of going for jailbait. He could make a plan, organize a way to gently explain how he’s an undead creature of the night whose low circulation means that somehow his hormone production slowed and therefore he barely smells like wood let alone an actual human being. They could make it work. If he’s lucky, Angel here won’t fall for another. If he’s lucky, lots of things won’t happen. Or they will anyway.

“Stark. Tony Stark. It’s a pleasure to meet you, all things considered. When I learned one’s mate smells like something unknown, I didn’t quite expect literal sunshine to be what I noticed. And don’t worry about the coat; it’s nothing.”

Marie Antoinette gave him this coat as a gift on his sixteenth birthday a few years before her death. It’s fine.

“Oh. I, I wouldn’t have thought I smelled like that. It’s really nice, actually. You smell, and please don’t take this the wrong way, like alpha. And home. I know it’s weird, but I can’t explain it any other way. I’m sorry if it’s too- “

At least he already knows he dislikes that worried furrow on such a happy face. He surges forward, clasps a soft hand and lets slip a shocked gasp, sees the mirrored reaction because Jesus, it’s as if he licked his finger and then stuck it inside a power outlet. Every hair on his body stands on end and when was the last time his heart beat that fast? Surely it was the night his old flame left or when they, no. No memories of a past lover when his mate is right here, clutching his hand like a lifeline.

“I don’t believe I know your name. Seems a little unfair, don’t you think? Wanna even the odds?” It’s meant to make the young man smile and he does.

It’s only when he grins that Tony notices the sharpened incisors and the slight cold coming from the small figure. The same fog that follows him around even on the hottest of days. The exact shape of teeth Tony cleans in front of his bathroom mirror each night.

“Peter. My name’s Peter. Nice to meet you, Tony.”

[melancholydreadfuldream]

deep end of a dream

Fandom: Doctor Who

Pairing: 11th Doctor x Reader & Ganger!Doctor x reader

Summary: You were in love with the Doctor but unfortunately the Doctor couldn't make up his mind between his feeling for you and for River. When an accident resulting in creation of another Doctor, will that be the answer everyone is hoping for?

Warning: ooc, angst, plot holes as usual, dark!doctor, etc. You have been warned.

More warning: English is not my first language so beware of the headache you will receive upon reading this.

    "Y-you are leaving the Tardis? Where are you going?"

  He smiled as he show you a vortex manipulator. "Cheap time travel but this will do. I can go anywhere anytime."

  "B-but..." You felt unwillingness to part with him. 

  "Two doctors in one Tardis? That could never work out." The ganger Doctor turned stabilized said. "I can't stay here." He took a step toward you, taking one of your hands in his. "I was hoping you would come with me."

  Your mouth dropped open in shock.

  "I mean I know I'm not the real Doctor..."

  "You are the Doctor." You insisted.

  He smiled solemnly. "You told him before that you are leaving him...leaving the Tardis."

  You did say that to the original Doctor before he took you and the Ponds to the flesh factory. You are done waiting for him, waiting for a man who could never love you properly. 

  "Come with me." The ganger Doctor pleaded.

  You didn't know what to say.

 7777

  You have been with the Doctor longer than any other companion. You first met the Doctor in his tenth incarnation while he was with Rose. You soon fell in love with the Doctor but has to endure heartbreak as he only has eyes for Rose. After losing Rose, the Doctor dropped you at home and didn't come back for you for a long while. He said you are better off without him. You pleaded him to let you stay but he cruelly ignored you.

  You met the Doctor on board of the valiant courtesy of the Master. The Master somehow found out about your feeling for the Doctor and use it against you and the Doctor. You were there as a hostage and as the Master's plaything. He likes to rub it that the Doctor doesn't love you. He basically outed your pathetic feeling for the Doctor.

  It was a very long and painful year. You were forced to watch as the Master torture the Doctor, regressed him into a sort of aged creature and put him in a cage as added humiliation. You met Jack, an immortal and a former companion of the Doctor. He was a hostage as well and his fate is worst than you. The Master likes to be variable in his method of torture. And yet, Jack is brave and still laughed in face of repeated tortures and deaths.

  Then you met Martha, the woman who walked the Earth, the storyteller, the one who saved the Doctor and the world. Like you, Martha was in love with the Doctor but the Doctor still hung up on Rose. After time is reset, Martha decided to stop travelling with the Doctor. 

  The Doctor apologized to you for getting you involved with his mess. You were sure he would turn you away again but instead he asked you to travel again with him and like the besotted fool you are, you agreed. But the two of you never talked about the elephant in the room which is your outed feeling for the Doctor. Both of you pretended that it didn't happen. But it was hard for you, traveling with the Doctor, interacting with him, discovering his many adorable quirk that made your feeling for him strengthen.

  Eventually, Donna joined you and the Doctor. She recognized your feeling for the Doctor immediately and she is being supportive of you despite you telling her about your love rival, Rose.

  During one of your routine adventure with Doctor and Donna, you met River Song. River seemed to know who you are and acted as if you and her are friends despite you have no idea who she is. You got jealous at how River confidently talked and keep up with the Doctor. You and Donna got uploaded inside CAL. After the Doctor saved everyone, you learned that River is dead and you felt guilty for being jealous of her before. That woman died to save everyone.

  Donna often likes to push you and the Doctor together. During a visit at Midnight, Donna pushes you to take a trip with the Doctor instead of spending time at the spa with her. You got under thrall of an unknown creature that possessed another passenger and the Doctor had to save you from it while stopping the rest of the passengers from trying to have you thrown out of the cabin.

  He kissed you and took the infection off you, rendering himself under the creature's thrall. You tried to save him too but it was futile. You tried to calm down everyone but it was like all of them has lost their rational mind. When you both finally survived the creature, you could only hugged each other in relief. You cried and accidentally tell him that you love him. But he was too distracted to respond.

  Many things happened so fast after that. Earth got stolen and Rose come back. So you and the Doctor never got a chance to talk about it. You don't know whether to feel sad or relief, after all, knowing your feeling is unrequited. It hurts watching the Doctor and Rose reunited. You could see how much they love each other through their interaction.

  Then, metacrisis Doctor Donna happened. After saving the universe, the Doctor left Rose and Metacrisis Doctor back on the paralel universe. You and the Doctor had to say goodbye to Donna whose memory got erased. You insisted of staying with the Doctor. You can't bear to let him be alone. Luckily, he didn't fight you about staying.

  He was lonely still. You weren't enough for him. You know this. It hurts. You let him use you. He soaked in your love for him.

  You stayed with him through his regeneration into the bow-tied man that you will eventually love too. Inside the crashing Tardis, you fell into the swimming pool and got a concussion for it. The newly-regenerated Doctor is very worried for you.

  You were wary of the new Doctor but he was very affectionate with you. He fussed over you. He treated your head wound. You eventually accepted that he is still the Doctor you know, just a little bit difference, well, a lot difference.

  The Doctor invited Amy to board the Tardis. You and Amy get along alright. She notices immediately about your feeling for the Doctor. You are wondering if you are really bad to keep your feeling a secret if anyone could know immediately.

  This version of the Doctor really is too affectionate. He loves hugging or taking your hand in his firmly. Sometimes you could almost believe he is flirting with you. But, of course, the Doctor remained vague regarding your relationship. You might be making a mistake by staying. As you expected, the more you know this new Doctor, the more your feeling for him grow even more, one might say it was like a cancer.

  You and the Doctor met River again. Your heart is broken again when you heard the Doctor confirmed Amy's teasing that River is indeed his future wife. But the threat of the weeping angels distracted you enough from letting yourself drown in misery.

  River is very nice with you, still saying that you and her are friends. When you two are alone, you decided to ask whether she is really married to the Doctor. She only gave you a really annoyingly vague answer.

  You are done. You wanted to leave the Doctor. You will not stay and pined for a married man. But River seemed to figure out your line of thinking and pleaded you to stay. She said the Doctor need you and that someday you will have to save the Doctor. You don't know if she is lying however you have no choice but to stay in case she really is saying the truth.

  Afterward you tried to keep your distant with the Doctor. Both the Doctor and Amy noticed. Amy tried to comfort you, knowing your reasoning.

  Rory eventually joined inside the Tardis too. It's getting kind of crowded in the Tardis but you didn't mind. You also get along nice with Rory.

  While the Doctor and Amy are kind a bit reckless, you and Rory become their voice of reason...somewhat. You would even said you and Rory are probably the sane ones. The Doctor and Amy would jump and greet dangers together while laughing a bit like maniac. They often ganged up against you and Rory, calling you both the boring ones.

  7777

  "The Doctor is a selfish old man. You will be waiting for a long time for him, poor little (name)." The Dream Lord had mocked you. "And he will let you wait for him instead of letting you go. He is that cruel."

  You hated that everyone seemed to know your feeling for the Doctor. 

  "You are right, little (name), he is like a cancer. You better run before he takes over you completely." He said.

  He is reading your mind. How can he be reading your mind like this?

  "But I suppose, it was already too late for you, eh?"

  When they finally defeated the Dream Lord, you can't help but wonder if the Doctor can read other people's mind after he admitted that the Dream Lord is in fact a darker version of himself.

  7777

  Tears falling from your cheeks as you watched the somewhat weary Doctor sitting inside Pandorica, readying himself to fly toward the exploding Tardis.

  River had explained that when he did that, he will be erased from time. You can't accept that but it is not like your opinion matters to him. 

  The Doctor looked a bit sad when you said that to him. "You always matters to me and I do listen to you but in this case, you know it is the only way."

  You wiped your tears furiously. "River said you can't come back...that you will be trapped on the wrong side... We would have never met at all." You whispered with a crack in your voice as more tears falling from your cheeks.

  He smiled as he put a hand over your cheek. "Oh, my dearest (name)...I'm sorry...It seemed that I always ended up hurting you..."

  You blinked at him in confusion before you realized he was talking about your feeling for him. You tried to smile. "It's alright, Doctor, I know you don't feel the same for me. I'm just glad that you let me stay. Being with you..."

  "...is hurting you and yet you stays with me through everything..." The Doctor cut in. He looked at you with a sad look. "I don't deserve you."

  You shook your head at that. "Don't say that. It was my choice to stay with you. You show me the wonder of the universe and more. I would always be grateful for that. I love you, Doctor, I'm not sorry that I do and...you shouldn't either. I don't regret you so please don't..." You trailed.

  He smiled as he drew you closer and kissed your forehead. "Live a good life, my (name), find your happiness no matter what happen..." He murmured to you.

  You left him and told Amy to go to the Doctor.

  "People fall out of the world sometimes, but they- they always leave traces, little things you can't quite account for. Nothing is ever forgotten, not completely, and, if something can be remembered, it can come back." You heard him says that to Amy.

  River stood by your side. She was staring at the Doctor and Amy with a solemn look. Her eyes are glassy.

  "It will be alright. He will come back." You said to her suddenly. You don't know why you said that. Maybe your faith in the Doctor is still strong, making you believe that he will overcome this and you need to share that faith with those who love him as you do.

  River looked surprised at your words. She smiled kindly at you and took one of your hand in hers.

  The world exploded and rebooted. Everything felt like it was spiraled out of your control. When you come to, you were sitting in your favorite park bench with a book in your hands. You blinked as you tried to shake off the feeling of loss and grief within your heart but you have no idea why you felt like that.

  As you stared blankly at space, you heard the wheezing sound of the Tardis. At first, you are confused as you no longer recognized that sound. Then the blue box appeared a few feet away from you and your memory started to return. You dropped your book as you stood up and walked cautiously toward the box.

  The Doctor, dressed in a suit and a top hat, walked out of the Tardis. "Come on, (name), we will miss Amy and Rory's wedding." He said.

  "Doctor?" You whispered. 

  He smiled brightly at you.

  You walked toward him and tentatively touched his arms as if wanting to make sure he is real. Tears filled your eyes once more and you hugged him tight. He hugged you back, rubbed your back in gesture of comfort before he pulled you inside the Tardis.

  He explained to you how Amy brought him back just as he predicted. He had just been crashing the Pond's reception and he was trying to move the Tardis out of the ballroom for space. It was then he come back for you.

  As you got out of the Tardis and into the ballroom with the Doctor, Amy grinned and pulled you into a hug.  "I'm so glad you are here, (name)." she said.

  You smiled at both Amy and Rory. You complimented her. She looked beautiful in her wedding dress. The two of you had a good laugh when you both saw how the Doctor danced a giraffe dance with the kids. 

  You smiled fondly as you watched Amy and Rory danced together. You are glad that they have got their happy ending.

  The Doctor stood beside you with a fond smile. "2000 years. The boy who waited." He said.

  You noticed River outside the windows, smiling and then leaving. You told the Doctor that you saw her and the Doctor goes to her, saying something about having to return her diary to her. You watched him go with a somewhat bittersweet smile.

  7777

  The Doctor invited you to watch his death in Lake Silencio. How can he be this cruel? Both you and Amy can't cope, seeing his painful death. Rory and River are the ones who still did as the Doctor told, still wanting to complete the mission given to them.

  Then a younger version of the Doctor appeared before you screwing your mind even more. River explained it to you and the Ponds regarding the Doctor and the rule of time. She made you and the Ponds swore never to tell the Doctor about his death back in Lake Silencio.

  In America, you have another talk with River. She insinuated that the Doctor has feeling for both you and River. But you already know that the Doctor would never pick you so why are you still insist to stay with him? Are you really this foolish? He is stringing you along just like the Dream Lord said. Are you this pathetic that you will let him do that forever?

  You made up your mind about leaving the Doctor and the Tardis. It was time you stop waiting for a man who would never love you properly. You felt a bit guilty about leaving the Ponds to deal with the upcoming death of the Doctor but you found you no longer can stand be around him anymore. 

  You told the Doctor about leaving. He look like a sad kicked puppy much to your guilt. He convinced you to stay until he can give you a proper last hurrah.

  Next thing you know, there are two Doctors, one of them is a ganger. You tried to keep your distance from both Doctors. You thought it was the only way for you to leave, stop caring for the Doctor, harden your heart. But you found you couldn't ignore the Doctor especially in the face of death so when the original Doctor decided to let the ganger Doctor stay behind to die, your mind just flashed back into that dreadful day at Lake Silencio and you just 'nope' so bad as you lost your marble and forced the ganger Doctor to come on board of the Tardis.

  Of course you know, the ganger Doctor is just that, a ganger but the original Doctor is the one who treated the ganger as something more and now he's just gonna let him die? The Doctor is the one who said a ganger has all their counterpart's memories. The ganger Doctor is essentially the Doctor too, so how can you let him die?

  You pleaded like crazy with the ganger Doctor not to sacrifice himself. The ganger Doctor tried to get you to go with the original Doctor, telling you that your Doctor is safe with you but there is no reasoning with you. He eventually relents when you gave him ultimatum to get inside the Tardis or you stay here with him and die together. Deep down, you were yelling at your stupidity but you could only feel relieved when he finally surrender to your wish for him to stay alive.

  You heard the Doctor telling all the gangers on board of the Tardis about how the energy inside the time ship will stabilized them and made them a real person. You wondered if the ganger Doctor is a full Time Lord or become a human but you didn't ask, still in somewhat shock state. You wondered what the original Doctor must think of you and how the ganger Doctor will fit in the Tardis. Maybe you messed this up but you could hardly regret the Doctor, any Doctor, for long.

  There is no time to concern with the issue of ganger Doctor though when both Doctors finally revealed the truth about Amy being a ganger too.

  7777

  After rescuing Amy and losing baby Melody and to finding out River is Melody, you could finally have time to yourself. You wondered if leaving the Doctor is still something you wanted. 

  River is on board of the Tardis and shamelessly flirted with both Doctors. 

  You snorted to yourself. What were you thinking? Now that there are two Doctors, one of them will choose you? How stupid you can be? There is part of you who now wonder which Doctor died in that Lake Silencio, the original or the ganger? You wondered if your motive of rescuing ganger Doctor is as shallow as hoping one of them will pick you or as cruel as to have replacement Doctor to face death in Lake Silencio. But it was hardly your problem now. You decided you still have to leave.

  That's when the ganger Doctor come to you with his proposition. "Come with me, (name)." He pleaded.

  Your mouth dropped open in shock. "W-why?"

  He smiled. "I am alive because of you. Is it a wonder I would like to spend the rest of my life with you?"

  "B-but..." You wanted to ask him about River but your mind stop you short. That was probably not a nice thing to ask. Of course, River will get to be with the original. The Doctor and River Song in the Tardis. You were always the spare and now it seemed this Doctor is too. 

  He looked insecure now. "I understand if you didn't want to. I just want a chance to be the man that you deserve."

  Without thinking, you pulled him closer and kissed him. As you broke the kiss, he stared at you solemnly before suddenly burst into adorable giggle which in turn make you smile.

  7777

  The ganger Doctor switched his name into John Noble. You smiled at his chosen surname in honor of Donna Noble. 

  You and John traveled the universe every time you can but it was limited due to the limited ability of the vortex manipulator. He was working on making a better and safer version of vortex manipulator though.

  You both picked a place to be called home since you both got no Tardis as home-base. He made your dream house, a small cottage with white picket fence and he even got you a dog. 

  "How did you even get all of this?" You asked.

  "I am still technically the Doctor, you know. I have friends in high place." He said as he made a motion with his hands.

  You laughed as you hugged your new pet companion. You and John had a funny banter about naming the dog. John insisted that he speaks dog and the dog wanted to be called some silly, really long name.

  7777

  You eventually married John. It was hard at first as you were still riddled with insecurity, believing that he will somehow grew tired of you and left on his own. He had assured you many times that he would never abandon you. He murmured about how he can hardly believe that the other Doctor actually let you go with him. You asked him what he is talking about but he distracted you with hug and kisses. You eventually believe him and accepted his marriage proposal.

  "I wanted to grow old with you." He told you.

  That honestly the nicest thing the Doctor ever said to you, well, technically it wasn't really the Doctor who said it. it was John. Suddenly your mind flashed back into Rose and metacrisis Doctor. Were the two of you similar to them in some way?

  You have a happy marriage with John. There were some up and down. He, in some way, is the Doctor so naturally he can't quite cope to stay in one place too long. Sometimes he took you to sightseeing and have your own adventure which thankfully does not include some deathly crisis. Sometimes he goes on his own, those days are hard for you, worrying he will not come back for you.

  One day, he returned home injured. He was not alone. Jack Harkness is with him. You were surprised to see him again and really scared upon seeing the injured John. Apparently someone thought John is the Doctor and attempted to kill him. Had it not for Jack, he would have died. Thankfully, his injury is not fatal. In fact, one might say, he is quite lucky. You know John still have some Time Lord qualities in him, he can't regenerate but he has a somewhat rapid healing ability.

  Tears fell on your cheeks as you repeatedly punched John in his arms much to his dismay. "You are grounded forever, you jerk!" You yelled.

  Jack is amused as he watched your interaction with John before the smile slide off his face. "You two need to hid. The world, right now, is against the Doctor and John having his face will not help his case."

  "What do you mean? What happened?" You demanded.

  Jack and John exchanged a look with each other.

  "It's the Doctor." Jack said grimly. "He did something."

  "Did what? What are you talking about?" You asked suddenly feeling scared on top of all the confusion.

  "He is not the Doctor we used to know any longer, (name). He's changed. And I didn't mean he regenerated and has a change of personality again. I mean, he's changed." John said.

  You stared at John. "You met him?"

  John shook his head. "I didn't. But I saw the trail of destruction he left behind." He said grimly.

  You stared blankly at your husband. "I'm sorry, did you just say a trail of destruction?"

  John and Jack nodded somberly at you.

  "No, you're wrong. We are talking about the Doctor here. He is not..."

  "You don't know the Doctor as much as you think you do, (name)." John replied.

  "But... John, you believe that the Doctor...you are capable of this...??"

  "Well..." John laughed harshly. "...we didn't get the name oncoming storm for nothing you know..."

  You shook your head. "No. Something must have happened to him. Maybe someone controlled his mind. He would not do whatever it is you think he did." You stubbornly said.

  "(name)..." John called out with a sigh.

  "No!" You left your husband and Jack as you went into the garden. 

  You walked back and forth as you tried to come to term with what John had said. You picked up your smartphone and your fingers hovered over the Doctor's Tardis number. You bit your lips and you called him on your phone.

  John suddenly pulled your phone out of your hand and smashed it into the ground.

  "John, what the hell!!" You were angry but when you saw his expression which is a mixture of anger and fear, you become speechless.

  Jack entered the garden and told the both of you to run before the Doctor come for you both.

  John nodded grimly as he grabbed his vortex manipulator and sonic screwdriver before turning to you and said, "I know you are afraid, (name) but you have to trust me. Please trust me." He cupped your face as he is pleading for you to believe him.

  "I do trust you, John." You replied.

  "Then you have to believe me. The Doctor is dangerous. He's a changed. And now we need to run before he came for us."

  "He would not hurt us!" You said, almost offended.

  John look saddened. "Maybe before. Now, I'm not so sure."

  What could possibly happened to the Doctor? You were very curious but also very afraid especially as you watched John loses his cool with each passing moments.

  7777

  You went on the run with John. He had used perception filter on the both of you. The people of the whole world is afraid of the Doctor but also they were trying to kill him. Since John had his face and everything, people might targeted him or might try to use him against the Doctor. He does has his memories. He could be a threat but mostly to the Doctor. As you realized this, you are very afraid for John.

  While on the run, you started to find out exactly what you feared that the Doctor has somehow turned evil and has set many planet on the course of destruction. You wanted to cry. What happened to the Doctor for him to change this much? John had told you about a prophecy of the Valeyard, a version of the Doctor turned evil, and now it seemed the prophecy is finally here.

  You are scared, wondering if your life with John will ever be safe again. There were a few times, people are able to see past the perception filter and that few times almost cost John his life. You almost hated the Doctor for putting you and John in deep end like this.

  You and John eventually found a safe place to stay. Each night you hugged him tight, afraid that you will lose him for good.

  7777

  You put out the grocery on the table at the small house you and John rented. You thought this day would come and goes as usual (it wasn't good but slightly okay) but of course the universe seemed to conspire against your happiness because as you went into the living room, you saw the Tardis. You gasped, feeling like someone just punch you in the gut.

  "Hello, my dearest (name)."

  You slowly turned around to face the Doctor. He was wearing a dark purple suit. His eyes looked weary but he was smiling at you like an old friend. "D-Doctor..."

  "You looked good. John has taken a good care of you." He said with approval.

  "John, where is he? What did you do to him?" You demanded.

  "John is safe...for now."

  You flinched at that. "W-what do you want, Doctor?"

  He smiled as he walked toward you. His hand hovered over your cheek before settling to touch your hair instead. "I miss my best friend. Just pop up for a visit."

  You are shaking and he noticed it. 

  He smiled in amusement but his eyes looked sad. "Seemed like you have heard some stories about me then..."

  You took a step back away from him. "Please just leave me and John alone."

  "I would if I could, dearest (name), but John had to go against me after everything I did for him." The Doctor said with disdain. "Gave him my first face and then he dare to go up against me?"

  "W-what?"

  The Doctor hummed. "I guess you didn't know."

  "Know what?"

  "That John has been aiding the resistance against me."

  You froze. John never told you that. He was always with you most of the time. How can he be aiding the resistance? But then again, part of you are not really surprised. John is the Doctor, after all, at least the part of the Doctor that is good. Is it a wonder that he will try to save the world from his other self? But you also want to slap him silly for putting himself in danger.

  "Don't hurt him." You begged. "Please don't hurt him."

  The Doctor tiled his head, observing you. "You love him." He sighed. "I guess you do since you left me and married the man."

  You flinched again at what he is insinuating. "You had your chance. You choose River. He choose me."

  "I know."

  "Doctor, what happened to you?"

  The Doctor laughed harshly. "Life, I guess. I lost the Ponds and I send River to the library a long time ago. Got a new companion. Clara Oswald. That impossible girl. You would have love her, (name), always keeping me on my toes, just like River." He looked sad now. "Always saving me, just like River. She splintered herself, you know, just to save my life. Having to be reborn again and again and died for the Doctor. I saved the original but I lost her again."

  "What happened to her?" You asked. 

  "They took her from me and made it impossible for me to save her. I made them pay for what they did." He said with a faraway look on his face. "I've lost so much." He whispered sadly. "No more." He added grimly before turning his intense gaze on you.

  You flinched under his gaze.

  "Come with me."

  "W-what?"

  "I need you, (name). You have always been there for me before. I hurt you so many times, ignoring your feeling for me, taking you for granted...and now I can’t stand be apart from you any longer."

  You shook your head. "N-no. I can't be with you. I'm with John now."

  He looked sad when you said that and then a darker expression crossed his features. "You are happy with a cheap copy?" He laughed mockingly at you.

  You glared at him. "He's not a cheap copy! He is a better man than you are!"

  The Doctor laughed again and stopped short. "I know."

  You stared at him in confusion with the way he acted. He said something cruel and the next he looked remorseful.

  "I would have like for you to come quietly with me. I guess I have no choice." He said as he pulled a sonic screwdriver at you.

  You recognized the sonic screwdriver as John's. You felt sudden fear for John. "What did you do? Doctor, what did you do to him?"

  He snapped his fingers as the Tardis door suddenly opened. "Go ahead. He's in there."

  You were hesitate at first but at the mention of John,  you quickly went inside. You saw John on the Tardis floor, groaning in pain. "John!" You called out as you bend your knees near him. "Are you okay? What's wrong?" Tears started to fell from your cheeks again.

  "(name), run..." John whispered at you.

  The Doctor went inside the Tardis but remaining standing on the doorway. He gazed at both you and John flatly.

  "What did you do to him?" You demanded.

  "Oh, I just reverse him. Your husband will turn into a yogurt again soon." The Doctor chuckled cruelly. "Funny that, yogurt..."

  "Stop it! Just stop it! What do you want?!" You yelled.

  "I told you what I want, (name)."

  "What could you possibly want from me? Why are you doing this?"

  He hummed. "You were always so loyal to me, (name). Back when I was sand-shoes, he treated you badly and still you stayed throughout his remaining life. You also stayed for me despite having a hard time to accept that I am still the Doctor, despite knowing what River is to me. That's why I allowed you to save him. That's why I allowed you to leave me for him. You deserve better." He said as he moved toward you, kneeling before you and cupped your face. "The first face this face saw... You are very dear to me, (name). I thought I could give you the same thing sand-shoes gave Rose. But now I realized I couldn't just let you go." He sighed. "The Dream Lord is right to warn you, (name), should have run from me. And now, I can't just let you go any longer."

  "Doctor, please...don't do this."

  The Doctor released you and stand up moving away from you. "So, I'm going to give you a choice, stay with me and I save your yogurt husband or refused me and well, he's yogurt...but I will still take you with me anyway." He chuckled. "Not much a choice I guess."

  You glared hatefully at him. You turned to John in sorrow. "Fine. You win. Save him and I will go with you. But you have to leave him alone. No turning him back into a ganger."

  "Deal." The Doctor grinned boyishly at you. You used to love that grin but now all you felt is hollow. He raised a hand toward you.

  "Please let me say goodbye to him first."

  He rolled his eyes. "Fine. Make it quick."

  John groaned as the Doctor sonic-ed him into a stable condition. "(name), what did you do?"

  "I'm sorry, I'm really sorry." You whispered to him. "I have to go with him."

  John's eyes widened in fear. "No, (name), he is not himself. He is dangerous."

  "I know, I have no choice. He will turned you back into a ganger otherwise. Can he really do that?"

  John nodded in forlorn. "Unfortunately we are smart enough to do that."

  The Doctor snorted at that.

  You glared at him, demanding privacy and to your surprise, he did leave. You turned back to John. "At this rate, you have to become the Doctor that the world needs, John. He told me about the resistance."

  "I'm sorry. I was careless. He found out."

  You shook your head. "Then you have to be better, John. You have to. You are so much more than him." You said as you caressed his cheek lovingly. "I love you."

  John pulled you close and kissed you.

  "Alright, that's enough." The Doctor said.

  You reluctantly stood up and leave John to stand by the Doctor's side. You glanced at the Doctor. "Give me your words that you will not harm him ever again."

  "I promise as long as you stay with me, John Noble will be safe."

  You watched as the Doctor moved around the console, readying the Tardis for take off, leaving John behind.

  7777

  He acted too hard to be like the way it was before, pretending to be the Doctor and his companion traveling the universe, except the universe hates him now. And to you, he was no longer your friend or the man you used to loved. You yearned to be with John but you know you can't. 

  He started acting like he was John. He took you on a date night, gave you chocolate and flowers. You played along to his whims, dressed in his chosen dress, dance with him and let him kiss you. Thankfully, he didn't demand you to have sex with him. You couldn't cope otherwise. But he made you sleep in the same bed as him in a room he choose to be yours and his now.

  He took you out sightseeing so many times. He even took you to a villain gala. You didn't even know that was a thing. You felt sick how the guests of that ball greeted the Doctor as if he is the star of the show or something. It was there you first met Missy. The Doctor introduced her to you and told you that Missy is actually Mistress, another name for the Master. You can hardly believe that the Doctor is actually in a good speaking term with the Master, the man that used to torture the previous Doctor back on the Valiant during the year that never was.

  Missy recognized you and predictably mocked you and your situation. You were furious when you learned she is the reason why John got caught by the Doctor. But it's not like you can do anything to her. You were mad and you left the Doctor's side. You refused to be taken to this sort of party. Despite angry at you for disobeying, he agreed not to take you to a villain gala again.

  "I meant I know you are always so attached with your pets, Doctor, but this is ridiculous. Sooner or later, you will lose her too, she is only human after all." You heard Missy said to the Doctor.

  The dark expression that crossed his feature made you really, really nervous.

  7777

  You pleaded the Doctor not to force immortality on you but he ignored you. 

  With the help of Missy, the Doctor got his hand on a drug or some technology that can prolong your life. He insisted to make you immortal just like Jack. He said he didn't want to lose you. He said he won't let anyone take you from him. Honestly, he made you very afraid.

  And then he took you to a planet called Trenzalore where he released Gallifrey upon the universe. He didn't care that the planet got burn in the fight between Gallifrey and its enemies. With the help of the Doctor, if you can even called him that anymore, Gallifrey won. The Doctor was given a new set of regeneration as a reward from Rassilion. He thanked him for the reward and then proceed to kill him, proclaiming himself as the new president of Gallifrey.

  After getting what he wanted from Gallifrey, he left the planet alone and took you back into the Tardis.

  You couldn't believe him. He just do all those cruel things without blinking, not an ounce of remorse in him. Was the Doctor truly lost forever? And this man, he still claimed to be the Doctor, undoing the real Doctor's life work by turning everything upside down and burn down everything good. He found glee in soiling the name 'Doctor'.

  And yet what it is with his obsession with you? He never care about you to that point before. Missy eventually explained what being the first face an incarnation saw meant. You finally got what you wanted, a special place in the Doctor's hearts, but why does it has to be like this?

  Missy offered you a way to escape but you were suspicious about her intention. "Frankly I don't care whether you stay with the Doctor or not as long as you and him continue to provide me with entertainment. Sure, I could help you escape him without him ever knowing I help you. But you should know, he would never stop searching for you if you do. He would even burn planet after planet just to get to you. It would be fun to watch, well, for me anyway." She said.

  How can you tried to escape when the price of freedom is other planet and its people dying because of you? You are not a martyr but even so you are not that selfish. And so you stayed by his side, trying your best to rein him in when possible. You learned he is willing to be merciful in your presence. You took full advantage of it in hope to save some.

  You thought of John. He was your only hope. You hope he could somehow save the world but if he can't, you can only hope he will be okay wherever he is. As you thought of your immortality, you couldn't help but cry. You were supposed to grow old with John. You don't even know how many years has passed since last you saw him.

  7777

  Hope resurfaced within you when you heard news about John being active in resistance, outsmarting the Doctor in his scheme. You only found out because the Doctor lost his marble after being outsmarted by John. 

  "I should have turn him back into a yogurt..." He said begrudgingly.

  You glared at him. "You made a promise to me, don't you dare break it."

  "Given the chance, you would have run back to him, wouldn't you? Perhaps I should make sure that you won't have anyone to return to but me." He said with a cruel smirk.

  "I am here with you as you wanted. Don't you dare harm John."

  "Fine, I won't." He said but the look in his eyes made you suspicious.

  "You are not allowed to scheme against him!"

  "Oh, my dearest (name), don't you worry about me hurting that yogurt husband of yours. I won't need to lift a finger against him. I know someone who would very much like to do it." He said. "She has always hated my old-self. She would probably have as much fun as me to rile him up. John Noble, the stand-in Doctor."

  You realized he was talking about Missy. You froze in fear. "No, make her stop."

  "No one can stop Missy once she set her eyes on something. She has always been stubborn especially when it comes to me." He said with a smirk. "But, hey, don't worry, John is basically me, right? He will do fine."

  "I hate you." You said.

  His smirk faltered.

  You turned around and left him in the console room.

  7777

  You were forced to watch another planet he conquered just because of boredom. He proclaimed himself as King and you his Queen. It was all very stupid, in your opinion. He made you wear a stupid crown proclaiming that crowns are cool. When he said that, you just remembered the old Doctor who kept telling everyone how bow-ties or fezzes are cool. It made you miss the Doctor terribly.

  This version of the Doctor, once in a while, made you wondered if the old Doctor still resides within him deep inside but then whenever he did, he would started acting up and did something horrible to someone else as if making up for showing weakness.

  You were once attacked by a member of resistance. You thought they hope to hurt the Doctor by killing you. But by then, you were already turned as an immortal by the Doctor. The Doctor was so furious and there is nothing you can do to make him show mercy. He lets loose the oncoming storm toward those who conspire against him in retaliation. After that, once you were both at your room, he would hug you tight and won't let go as if he is fearing that you will disappear. It made you think how lonely and sad he must be. You hugged him back. 

  He tricked you into marrying him, dangling the fate of a planet to do it. "I'm going to give you something that John didn't." You were very confused with what he meant. "I'm going to give you my name."

  Your eyes widened in shock. River is the only one who know his name before. Why is he doing this? What was the point? You were very frustrated. "John Noble is the only name that matter to me." You said.

  He ignored you, forcing you instead to follow some Gallifreyan ritual.

  "Smile for the camera, dearest (name)." The Doctor whispered to you. "I'm sure that yogurt husband of yours is watching us got married live."

  You recoiled from him but he made a firm grab of you to keep in position as he finished the ritual.

  You heard Missy made a quip about how cruel the Doctor is to you. Well, duh. But apparently, she meant the ritual because the ritual forced a mental bond to form between you and the Doctor. You might be immortal but you were not made for a mental bond.

  "She will learn to adapt with it." You heard the Doctor said. "We have forever to do it."

  Honestly you hated these mental bond. You have no privacy even in your own mind. He likes to invade your mind and take a look of your memories. You screamed at him to leave you alone. You wanted to cry. You are losing your mind and he know it. Thankfully he relents and left your mind alone for the most part.

  7777

  One day, while the Doctor is out with Missy, John appeared on board the Tardis and he gave you a small gemstone and told you to hold it close on your person. He said he knew what the Doctor did to you and that gemstone could stop him from invading your mind, blocking him so to speak.

  You were happy to see him but also scared. He told you not to worry about him. He said he went back to Gallifrey and now he is as much as a real Time Lord as the Doctor. He said the Doctor can no longer turned him into a ganger so you need not to worry anymore. You can come home with him.

  At first you are reluctant, worrying about what Missy had said about the Doctor never stop looking for you if you escape and will burn everything in his path in order to get to you. You are also worry for John himself should the Doctor figure out wherever you escaped to.

  But John make a convincing argument and so you took his hand and left the Tardis.

  Only to find out John is not real. It was always the Doctor, trying to test your devotion and you failed the test.

  "You wanted to see John so much? Fine, I will let you see him." The Doctor said angrily.

  The Tardis landed somewhere. The Doctor pulled you harshly outside where he forced you to see a gravestone. John's name is craved on the gravestone.

  You were shocked to say the least. With a trembling fingers, you touched the carving of his name on the gravestone.

  "I didn't harm him, if that is what your thinking. Missy didn't either. He died. The people he fought for turned against him and killed him."

  "No, you are lying!"

  "Am I? You are welcome to investigate his death, (name). You know Jack Harkness, don't you? I'm sure he will help you with your investigation. Once you satisfy your curiosity, come and find me." The Doctor said.

  7777

  You were furious. The Doctor didn't lie. They did turned against John. They killed him. The best part of the Doctor, and they thoughtlessly killed him. And now the world is doomed forever with the Doctor that no longer quite the Savior. Frankly, right now you no longer care about the fate of these people.

  You walked absentmindedly toward the coordinate of the Tardis which your darling husband helpfully put into your mind. 

  The Doctor watched you as you entered the Tardis. "Welcome home, (name)."

  "I'm home..." You replied blankly.

       A/N: I have no idea what I write here. I was desperate to produce a new dw fanfic since I only have a day left of holiday before going back to work, hoping not to waste my time just imagining and no writing, I finally able to write this. I watched a few of my favorite dw episodes and my mind ended up get stuck in the idea of ganger!doctor hence this happened. 

I hope you likes this story and if you do, please kindly drop comment and more. Honestly I'm so nervous about posting this.

I would like to say thanks to those who follow my blog and has drop a like/comment/reblog to all of my past stories. Thank you so much for making me so happy. Stay awesome, everyone!

[captainkurosolaire]

Mount X Scope

  Two brutish donning overcompensating turtle armor Roe-like drew up as Captain and Shelah’s new opponents. One of them carrying a huge War-hammer would slam and create a shock wave for their introductions. Each grumbling and growling. Both of them hurling over the upcoming debris clouded wave with a bit of stumbling they couldn’t continue doing that as the other prepared to repeat the process in turns until they convinced someone to close in on them to be squashed. Their objective was just to demolish them off the back of the ship and into the plunging waters below. Captain realized the goal but also knew couldn’t get close to either of those lest not without a strategy. He’d close and whisper to Shelah a tactic before finding himself a means to get their decisive counters. Emptying her chambers and removing the corks the safety measures were discarded requiring she’d turn to actual hollowed rounds with her new clip. His arms didn’t work but being solely dependent on one function of fighting wasn’t viable, cause survival required everything in an instant. He’d use his feline tail and start rummaging above his satchel to a sheathed coeurl fanged toothed dagger latching the hilt. Though one thing was for certain. They had range and she only needed one clean-shot to decide a battle. Large clustered gem’s inorganically stood out on the fully worn oppositions. One under the armpit of a bronze wearer whose armor reflected more like a Beetle while the other in more slate-grey resembling a Rhino was on the forehead. To shoot those parts while constantly moving wasn’t going to be the easiest. He’d brazenly charge to the Bronze-Beetle on the corner most left. On the right, in the midst, he’d intervene with them about to do another pounding splash attack again with a mallet by replacing his interest in flinging the hilt it started hurling. The Rhino blocked the rushing speed thrown dagger but that was all part of the tactic to interrupt their constant automaton attacks. The dagger-bounced off the blunt defecting weapon, that was trivial making them feel complete in evading their futile attack, but right in that event before the weapon entirely lost its direction and plummeted useless, Shelah fired a shot to align itself against the falling angle and create a surge of momentum. Her violet-irises held a chronomancy awakening in an instant once again time-halting an object with the daggers into stasis to secure the shot when lifted. Like a pool cue to a diverging oddball, she recreated velocity to the goal. That small window of comfort made an opening allowing them to send the dagger into the gem atop the armored Rhino sending one of their opponents crashing and they fell back into the wooden portion and staircase getting trapped and stuck alongside shattering the gem most likely possessing these mercenaries. However Bronze would be much more difficult as Captain’s pursuits would see him in close range with a disadvantage. A baseball swing came to batter the Captain, instinctively Captain would attempt to leap over but that was suspected. His large opponent’s Roe hand showed they didn’t need two hands to swing, grabbing Captain’s leg and tossing him into the harsh shell that erupted and cradled every bone. The punishment wasn’t done yet. Shelah couldn’t get a secure shot. The Bronze would use his own newly equipped projectile and toss Captain at the annoying pest. Then center himself more stably on the ship. Discarding her rifle she’d open her arm’s out to meet and support her Captain’s fall. If she dodged or didn’t they probably tumble off the ship’s surface and Captain couldn’t possibly swim in his condition. “Fancy meetin’ ye here.” Captain was discombobulated his entire body was reeling. Shaking his head, the Bronze Brute was preparing to destroy the entire shelling and foundation by being in the central spot could guarantee a destructive hit. Captain recomposed and angrily grunted, “Shelah! Mount me!”  He’d become a piggyback steed and use his remaining energy to give them a moment and whilst conserving her own. She’d listen and they weren’t in another situation they could discuss anymore. Wrapping her legs and arms around him carefully. He’d use his bulky masculine frame which leaned forward to rush forward to leap off onto his vessel across. Changing Bronze’s intentions making him pursue them. “I know you can’t hit th’ target while we’re moving. Prepare to fire anyway!” Now his own ship was endangered by the same attack. Shelah hoisting her rifle if preparing to hit the armpit shot anyway would await for the opening. As Captain stopped them in their tracks inhaling and exhaling and used a concentrated force to Ghost-Step them behind the titan. Suddenly warping behind the brute. Gave them the exposing and opening as Shelah timed-shotted but the moment she pulled the trigger Captain buckled under the pressure. The hit connecting erupting the gem and exploding this one would see the destruction of the entire oaf’s armor make him exposed and blown up. The crystal’s manifest and function even in their aetherial wares. The shock causing him to crash through Captain’s ship with a thud.

Lightly raising himself up as Shelah aided, “Ugh this is gonna b’ a hella ov’ a story. What a’ day.” She’d quickly, “I didn’t mean to crush you.” His face entirely exhausted, “Never apologize fer stepping on a man nor ridin’ especially those with an assortment of history n’ kinks. That sells well-round here. As a former Courtesan, I know these things. Though we had to’ adapt. The only issue is I’m drained, that's all my techniques could serve. Majestic Sentries... I take it was these heavy blokes so I’m hoping they’re out otherwise I can’t battle anymore. I can probably at most hobble and waddle in walking with a solid breather.” She’d look concerned just the extent and his limits succeeded wishing she could do more. Their raveling of celebration would suddenly be castrated.

As presence pacing their exhausted states began coming. Captain with awareness was trembling, sweat rushing between his brow. Nervously gulping. Quivering feline ear’s bellowed at the direction of the staircase of dangling chains strapped around a red-right hand, mysteriously to self-incarcerate. Two pairs of footsteps. One was feint and concealed nearly undetectable if it wasn't for those minor constrictions dangling a chime. The other was filled sinister with exuding chaos.             (Previous)  — / References /  —   ♫  — (Next Page)

[bellatrixobsessed1]

Kissing Dead Pearls (Part 22)

They have trouble getting him to eat, anything they feed him seems to come back up again until they settle for giving him liquid food in small amounts; apple sauces and oatmeals with a fair amount of tube feeding. She doesn’t like the sight of it.

They tell her that she doesn’t need to be here, that she is well enough to go back to the hotel so long as she takes it easy. But she remains at the hospital, at least during visiting hours.

“No one has claimed him yet?” She hears one nurse ask.

“No, not yet.” Says the other.

“And no ID?”

“All of his IDs and paperwork are probably on the ocean floor with his boat.”

The pair enter, a stout man with a clean shaven beard and a fleshy face and a woman, just as stout but rather petite. The man checks over the feeding tubes while the nurse checks over the patient himself.

“Has he woken up at all?” The woman asks.

“Not while I’ve been here.” Azula replies.

Deciding that everything is in order, the doctors step out once more. She looks at the time, she ought to be heading out herself. She waits another few moments before pulling out her phone, it rings several times before Zuzu answers. “Why are you answering father’s phone?”

“He and Jet went for a swim.” Zuko replies. “Do you need me to tell him something?”

She hears the boy stir in his bed. She lowers the phone for a moment before replying. “Just tell him that the sailor is waking up, so I might be here for a little while longer.” She doesn’t wait for a reply before she stuffs her phone back into her purse.

She wanders over to the bed. The boy squeezes his eyes tighter before opening them. They are tired and gentle and a very vivid blue. Azula swallows, they are a very familiar vivid blue. She takes his hand, wondering how it had taken her this long to recognize him.

“Gee…” he speaks, his voice hoarse and weak. “Guess the town motto is true, ‘all waves lead to Port Tui-La.’” He tries to laugh but his mouth is too dry.

She hands him a cup of water and waits for him to swallow before saying, “we’re not at Port Tui-La.” She wants to hug him with a tightness that will assure her that he won’t leave again. Even if she had both of her arms free to use, she worries about pressing on his sores the wrong way.

“Then where are we?”

“A small resort island called, Su Oku.”

“You think that I could get a pina colada with this hospital banquet.” He gestures to the oatmeal.

“I think that you couldn’t keep a pina colada down if they gave one to you.” She replies. It is unfathomably amazing to hear his voice again. To hear those stupid and poorly timed jokes.

“What happened to your arm?” He asks.

“It happened while I was saving you. You ass.”

“Now that’s no way to treat a guy in a hospital bed. That’s not how you…” he pauses for another drink. “Greet someone that you haven’t seen in months either.”

“It’s a perfect way to treat an imbecile who promised to take you out for a birthday dinner and stood you up for months.”

He makes a gesture as if to slap his forehead but thinks better of it at the last moment, “Ah shit, I forgot your birthday.”

Azula could slap him. “We thought that you were dead, Sokka.” She whispers after the humor fades. And suddenly it is overwhelming. The notion that she is going to have to speak with Jet crosses her mind and mixes strangely with joy and relief.

She feels his hand brush against her cheek, a rough and calloused hand. “Why are you crying?”

“I’m not.” She wipes at her eyes.

“Of course not.” He chuckles.

How is she going to tell him about Jet? How is she going to tell Jet about him? But he’s alive, goodness he’s alive. She carefully cups her hand over his. “What happened to your ship and how did you survive?”

“It’s a long story.” He replies, she can tell that he is going to fade out again. “Visit tomorrow and you might get to hear it.”

“Might?!”

He is already out again. She finds herself laughing. Of course he will leave her unanswered. It dawns upon her, as the nurse enters that she probably should have let them know that he was awake.

.oOo.

She finds herself terribly anxious the closer they draw to the hotel. The walk from the hospital isn’t terribly long, she almost wishes that it could be longer. It is a nice day, in the storm’s wake there is a cooler edge to the day. For once her skin isn’t slick with sweat from the walk and jasmine dances within the breeze. “You’re quiet.” Zuko remarks.

“Enjoy your break.” Azula mutters.

“Did something happen to the sailor?”

She shakes her head. “Nothing bad.”

“But something happened.”

“He woke up.”

“And.”

She bunches her hands in her pockets. She isn’t sure why she is so hesitant to tell him. Perhaps it is because she doesn’t want him to slip and tell Jet before she can. “It’s Sokka.”

Zuko comes to a full halt. “What? How?”

She shrugs. She had imagined it time and time again, a reunion, telling Katara that her brother is alive. And perhaps it is because she had truly expected it to be anything but a reality, that it is so hard for her to process that her daydreams have become truth. Truth be told, she isn’t quite ready. “I don’t know, Zuzu. I didn’t that we would actually find him.”

“Well aren’t you, I don’t know, elated?”

She knows that she should be. She should be happy, excited, grateful. And she is, but she is also nervous. It has been so long. He doesn’t know about father, he doesn’t know about Jet, about...she traces the length of the scar on her arm, rather she traces the parts of it that aren’t tucked into the sling. “I am.” She says. “I’m just trying to figure out what to tell Jet.”

“Fuck off, is a good option.”

She elbows him. “I know that you don’t like him but he treats me well.” They pass a merchant selling bundles of hibiscus and bamboos sticks. With the storm well and past, the island is lively again. She spies several bikers and a couple with a picnic basket. There is a child with an armful of shells and a missing sandal, an exasperated woman holds that sandal. Colorful umbrellas are propped open all along the beach that runs parallel with the road. A road that is scattered with palm fronds, branches, clusters of flowers, and other things that the storm had thrown about. She can hear the hum of cicadas and the chatter of birds, mostly seagulls. “I suppose that I should just tell him outright.” That is how she would have wanted it if Jet had fallen for someone else.

“That’s what I meant when I said tell him to fuck off.”

Azula rolls her eyes. “I’m sure it is.” But that doesn’t make it any less daunting, knowing that she has so much to fill Sokka in on. Though she supposes it is, at the end of the day, fair. He has a long story for her and she has a rather long one for him. If he will hear the rest of it after finding out about her fling with Jet. She decides that she will get to that part after talking about how increasingly difficult and lonely things had gotten. She will answer the why’s before sharing what they had led to.

She enters the hotel and holds the door open just long enough for Zuko to get his hopes up before letting it slam in his face. He cusses and she chuckles. It has been a while since she’d got him like that.

“See if I hold it open for you next time!”

She fixes him with a faux pout. “You mean you’d slam the door on your handicapped little sister?”

“I sure would.” He replies.

They reach the hotel room at the same time as her father and Jet. She watches Jet rub his hair with his towel.

“They left you by yourself?” Azula asks.

Katara shrugs. “I could use the quiet time. How was your visit?”

“It was…” she can’t keep the smile from her face. “Surreal.”

“Surreal?”

“He’s alive, Katara. That sailor is…”

“Sokka?” She asks softly.

Azula nods. She has made Katara cry several times throughout childhood, and once as a pre-teen when she’d decided that she was too cool to hang out with the girl anymore. But she had never made her cry with joy and relief.

“You sure that it’s him?”

“He asked me for a pina colada.”

“That’s him alright.” Ozai grumbles. He slings his towel onto one of the racks and makes his way into the bathroom.

“Hey!” Jet calls. “We agreed that I get the first shower!”

“You have things to discuss with my daughter.” Ozai shrugs. “I’ll take an extra long one to make sure that she can cover all of the details.”  With that, the door closes and she hears the lock pop into place.

“He’s alive, Zuko!” Katara springs up and throws her arms around him. “My brother is alive!” She lets go of Zuko and turns to Azula. “You saved him…”

Azula nods. “He better treat me extra special or I’ll throw him right back out there.” She folds her good arm against the other.

“Do you need us to…?” Zuko gestures towards the door.

Azula nods. She waits for the door to shut once more before taking a seat on the bed.

Jet sighs and rubs the back of his head. “I take it, there’s nothing I can do to make you choose me.”

She hesitates before shaking her head. “There’s nothing.”

He blows out through his lips, “the ride home is going to be mighty awkward.”

“It doesn’t have to be.” She answers despite being well aware that she has a solid track record for being awkward as hell.

“Does he know yet?”

“No.” She says. “He will tomorrow.” She just hopes that that will go well.

“Were you using me as a rebound?”  Jet asks.

“No.” She says again. “I was trying to move on…”

“Which is why you went out on a sailing trip to find your boyfriend?”

“I didn’t anticipate anything coming from it.”  

He nods, clasps his hands together and presses them to his lips. “Then why do I feel like I got used.”

“I didn’t use you.” She insists. “If I had I would have asked for a lot more cash.”

This elicits a humored snort. “I’m going to go back to the pool.” He stands. She doesn’t stop him. The soft slam of a door, shut slightly too hard, rebounds around the room. She supposes that he needs to process things. She needs to process things. Good news or not, her head still spins and she finds herself feeling notably drained. She falls back onto the mattress and stares at the ceiling.

[danetobelieve]

A Latte To Talk About || Athena and Winston

Wiping their increasingly sweaty palms on their jeans, Winston looked at themselves in the mirror of their sun visor before deciding that there was nothing they could do even if something was amiss. Flipping it out of the way, they opened the door to what was definitely still the shittiest car in the world. Their door slammed shut with a clunk and Winston locked and double locked the car behind them. It was still perpetual night, but apparently that didn’t stop anyone from getting coffee and it seemed just as busy as ever. Waiting outside, Winston shot a text to Athena. “I’m here.” They weren’t in any rush, so they took a moment to breath in the day’s air. Or was it nights? The stars were still twinkling brightly in the sky and Winston wasn’t sure if that changed whether it was day or night. Was day or night a time thing or a light thing? They weren’t sure. 

This wasn’t even a date, she didn’t think, even though Winston was attractive. Athena had far too many things on her mind to focus on actual dating, but this was nice, and if it ended with anything more than platonic, she certainly was not about to shy away from that. She’d even thrown on some extra nice clothes - dark jeans, a button-down shirt, and one of her favorite necklaces. She’d driven to Coffee Plus and thankfully hadn’t run into anything that needed taking care of on her way there. She pulled in about half a block away and pulled out some lipgloss, applying it quickly just as Winston’s text came in. She hopped out of her car and made her way over to Coffee Plus, spotting them outside. “Hey!” She grinned, walking up to them. “Hope I didn’t keep you waiting too long.” That earned them a wink, before she started moving toward the door. “Shall we?”

They had barely sent their text when Winston looked up to see Athena. Great, she looked hot. That was, just great. Winston swallowed. The first time they’d met them they’d both been wearing workout gear. Athena had looked good in workout gear. But this was something else. Winston hadn’t really thought about what they were wearing today and suddenly they were self conscious that they should’ve changed, but it was too late for that and she was winking and leading them inside of the coffee shop and Winston’s feet were following her and they found their mouth moving and were they talking too? Oh no that wouldn’t be good. “Hey, Athena,” they smiled in return and shook their head, “I’ve literally just got here, you’re all good, besides, it’s not the end of the world if I wait five minutes.” It was bizarre to think that she could probably judo slam Winston over her knee if she wanted to, Winston decided not to think too much about that.

“Well, good, I like to try and always be on time, if possible. Even early, if I can manage that.” Athena gave a small shrug. “But I am glad you are an understanding person, and that it is not the end of the world.” She appreciated that they seemed willing to follow her into Coffee Plus - over to the counter and looked up at the menu. She drank both coffee and tea - she was not entirely certain which she’d do today. “You’re paying, right?” She let her gaze fall onto them again, “As thanks for me helping you out? If you’d prefer I pay for my own, I’m down with that too, your company is quite good on its own.” She glanced back up at the menu again. Maybe a mocha would be good. “What do you usually get here?”

“It’s only polite right,” Winston replied with a smile, “I’m trying not to get as stressed out about the little things, especially when there are apparently vampires lurking around every corner whilst it remains this dark all the time.” Nodding, Winston smiled. “Yeah, if it only costs me a coffee to survive a vampire attack then I would be more then happy to get this one for you.” They smiled gently and looked at the menu. “I am kind of boring to be honest, for the most part I just stick to something simple like a latte, but occasionally I’ll branch out and get an iced coffee or something fruity like a smoothie,” turning to the barista they flashed a quick smile, “can I get a large latte and whatever she would like too please?” 

“Well, the vampires are not always around.” Athena offered them what she hoped was at least a bit of a comforting smile. “Honestly? Sometimes it’s nicer to get stressed out about little things, because if one gets too worried about vampires, one stops being able to properly function in the world.” She followed their gaze. “Well, that’s a good deal. Yes, it only costs you coffee and my company, and from what I can see, you have no problems with the latter.” She allowed them to order, before biting her lip, still deciding what exactly she would get. “One mocha latte please, skim milk, small, thank you.” After Winston paid, she made her way over to the waiting area for their drinks. “So, how’ve you been, all things considered?”

“True and at least now I know that they exist and I can take the necessary precautions to make sure that I am as safe as can reasonably be expected,” Winston looked around cautiously, “the magic really helps too.” They flashed her a smile that they hoped reassured her. This was not something that kept them up at night but it wasn’t something that they were about to risk either. “I get it, what’s the phrase, enjoy the little things or something like that, sometimes you’ve got to enjoy the little stresses of life too I guess.” Winston swallowed a mouthful of coffee that was probably a little too hot to be drinking freely, “all things considered?” they weren’t about to go into the long list of problems they were experiencing right now, “Fine, I guess, there’s only so much control you can have I guess.” They paused once more. “How about you?” 

“Yes, exactly.” Athena gave a smile, followed by a shrug. “I bet it does.” She bit her lip, unsure of how much they would want to talk about this in public. Decided that less was more, in this case - and if she could get them in private, if this whatever it was went well, maybe more intimate and power-related conversations (or intimate in any way they wanted) could happen. She grabbed her drink and began to walk over to a table as she answered them. “Yes, stress and calmness are an important duality to manage, each equally important, depending on the day.” She sat down and raised an eyebrow. “I have been fine. More to do during all hours of the day than usual, but you know, I do what I can, and I make certain that I take care of myself.” She took a small sip of her drink. “Winston, this is sheer perfection, I have to say. Are you sure you didn’t plan this extra special? Or perhaps it is that you are more tolerable company than some who I have come here with.”

Although Athena had seen what they could do if they needed to, Winston wasn’t sure that they particularly wanted to continue this discussion whilst they waited for their drink. Winston followed suit and scooped up a swimming pool sized mug of latte and followed Athena over to a table, slipping down into a seat opposite her, they took a long sip of their drink and thanked whatever powers that be that they had something to occupy their mouth so they had more time to think about what they were going to say rather then just stumbling over themselves like they normally did. “I try to avoid stress as much as I can, gotta say that it hasn’t exactly been as easy as I would normally like.” They paused and listened to her carefully. “Hopefully we’ll be through … this sooner then later. Then hopefully your busy … schedule will calm down.” They were a hunter after all, apparently one of the good ones, at least that was what Winston was telling themselves. Despite that, Athena may be one of the most complimentary people they’d ever met. “That’s very kind of you to say, the trick is that I do absolutely no preparation and just hope that people enjoy sitting drinking coffee with me, though I can’t imagine what sort of people you’re coming here with if you think my company is extra tolerable.”

“Of course, that is entirely understandable.” Athena nodded, “this time is stressful for everyone - well, most everyone.” Not for vampires or mara or any other creatures who loved the night. She bit her lip. “Yes, I hope so very much.” She tapped her fingers against the tabletop, trying to block out the sounds of the café, to just focus in on Winston. She took another sip of her drink and raised an eyebrow at them. “Well, you can hold conversation, which is a lot more than some people, and you certainly are not difficult to look at.” She smirked at them, pressing the toe of her boot against their foot. “So I say you are winning all around.”

Swallowing gently, Winston did their best not to focus on the way she bit her lip. “You don’t seem all that stressed out by any of this, if anything it’s almost as if you were born to handle the eternal night.” Winston watched her fingers slowly rise and fall, drumming on the shiny surface of the table. Blushing gently, Winston had to force themselves not to jerk their foot away in surprise. This was a first for them. Women, pretty women especially did not take an interest in Winston and did not say things like they were certainly not difficult to look at. Shifting their foot so that it was slightly further under the toe of her boot, they smiled and shrugged. Play it cool. Play it cool. Play it cool. They weren’t sure they knew how to do that. Swallowing a mouthful of coffee to buy themselves more time, Winston tried not to stammer over their words. “You say that now, but if you’d met me a few years ago before I’d started the internship then you’d have been shocked at the socially inept nightmare that I was.” They flashed her a smile anyway. 

“Well, I do have background training,” Athena smirked, letting her gaze follow theirs, to her fingertips. They weren’t moving their foot away either - if anything, she felt them adjust it to move under her boot more, and she tucked the toe of her boot against the edge of their pants. Why not flirt? If it got them to see her side of things more, she was certainly not opposed to leaning in a bit more. They were beautiful, either way, and she did enjoy spending time with them so far. “Well, a few years ago I was still in high school, so I think it’s lucky that we met when we did.” She moved her foot away for a moment, glancing around the café. “Even if, well, it was under less than ideal circumstances.”

“I mean training or no, you did a better job then me. Most of the time I just run the fuck away as fast as I can. I can’t see you having to do that half as much.” Winston felt their breath catch in their throat as they felt her boot trail up their foot and to the end of their leg. They weren’t expecting that. This was the first time anyone had ever done anything like this before and Winston was begging to feel increasingly out of their depth. They weren’t exactly the most experienced either. Trying to act as if they hadn’t noticed anything, they took another long drink from their coffee. “Oh you definitely wouldn’t have wanted to meet me in high school, that was a dark time for everyone.” Laughing at their own self deprecation they tried to change the subject. “How long since you graduated?” 

“No, I do not usually tend to run away.” Athena smirked. In fact, the exact opposite was most frequently true. She ran towards things more than away, even if that was sometimes, admittedly, not the best of ideas. Not that Winston needed to know that. She watched them take another drink from their coffee, tapping her foot against the ground for a moment before tapping her own foot against theirs a second time. Just for a moment, before letting her feet hang down, seeing if they would do any movement back. “I graduated W-C-H-S in 2017. So, just about three years now. I’m a Junior now, I can’t remember if I’ve already told you that or not.” She took a careful sip of her drink. Thankfully, so far, everything in the café was normal. She could guarantee at least that there were no fae around.

“Well when you can fight the way that you do, I don’t suppose that there are many things that make you run from them.” Winston had seen her take on however many vampires, if there was something out there that could make her run. Winston felt her legs move, they considered for a moment not returning the movement. Not encouraging it. They felt out of their depth and sometimes when you’re out of your depth you make sure not to get any deeper. But now they couldn’t help themselves and Winston shifted their foot alongside hers. “Okay, so you’re a couple years or so younger then me, I’m doing a one year post graduate course, so once i’m done with that I won’t have an excuse to keep coming to the University anymore. But I went to WCHS too, just a few years before you apparently.” 

“No, I suppose you are correct.” Athena replied, “though I think a fair part of it is also my desire to help out those in trouble - like, I don’t want to just leave someone because a vampire or something else is attacking them. That wouldn’t be fair, especially when I am able to do what I can do.” She could feel another smile cover her lips as they moved their foot with hers. She’d always known she was charming, and it was nice to have others confirm that, others respond to her movements and behaviors. “Well, I’ll still be there.” The smirk returned, “so you could always visit me, though I do suppose that once you graduate you might want to just be out in the real world, as they say.” She paused. “Oh? Small world that keeps on getting smaller, isn’t it?”

Raising an eyebrow gently, Winston shook their head. “I mean, I guess, but that isn’t really what I meant. I just meant that you can do stuff and help people and stop these things from hurting someone if you need to. If it isn’t something that can be fixed with a very simple spell then I tend to leave it to someone else.” Winston was impressed by Athena and in many ways they really admired her. She seemed to be in control, even though she was so much younger then Winston. Maybe it was just because they were so new to it. “Maybe if you give me a reason to come and visit then there’ll be a visit in the future. Though, maybe once I’m working and shit I’ll actually want to be back here.” Winston paused for a second more before shrugging once again. “Maybe, although we both grew up in the area and it isn’t like there are two high schools here.” They paused.

“Oh!” Athena chirped. “Well, thank you. Perhaps that would have been a better reply in the first place, sorry.” Athena looked down, forcing a small blush on her cheeks. She kept her posture straight, though, and quickly looked back up at Winston. “Maybe I will give you a reason to come and visit,” she winked at them quickly. “Of course, working is and should come as a first priority, I should never feel a need to force someone to not do the best work that they possibly can.” She watched them shrug, before agreeing. “Oh of course, this is a reasonably sized town, so it is not that much of a coincidence, though I do have friends at university who didn’t go to school here.”

“Don’t be sorry, and you know, you’re of course welcome,” Winston replied, normally they were the one that was being over polite. They weren’t sure if they were really all that comfortable with the way that things were being reversed. But then it was Winston’s turn to blush at her wink and they looked down at their coffee before giving her a quick smile. “Maybe you will,” they replied sheepishly, flashing her a quick smile once more, “it depends on a lot of stuff. I’m kind of aware that there is a possibility that I won’t necessarily be able to pursue what I would like to pursue in this town, but now that I know the truth about this place then I don’t know if I am ready to leave it…” they raised an eyebrow and drained the last of their coffee, “maybe you know some of my friends though, they would’ve been closer to your age?” 

“Okay, if you insist.” Athena dug the toe of her boot into the ground. Her modesty was a bit false, but so what? It worked wonders with Winston, and she was far too curious about them to let anything slip. Besides, her apology had been at least half genuine. Seeing them blush at her comment made the smirk grow wider. “Well, I am good at giving people reasons to come and see me.” She raised an eyebrow as she reached out for their hand and took it in her own, giving it a small squeeze. “Of course - I also get that, like, my top med schools are not in town, not even in this state, and I’ve never been out of Maine in my whole life so it’s -- well, it’s a lot and sometimes I don’t even want to leave, but you also have to take into account what is best for you and…” her voice trailed off at their question. “Yes?” She said, her voice squeaking perhaps too much. Not Ri, of course not Ri. She’d fake being a singleton if she had to, because if they knew Orion then they could figure out that he was a hunter and hell, she trusted them, but she was not about to get in trouble with her brother. She could care about him, even if he was a disaster. “You might! I knew a lot of people in high school!” 

“Insist is a strong word, I just meant it would be nice to see you…” Winston swallowed and fought the desire to sweat nervously. A sentence that they had never thought they would consider internally but they were going to have this go well whether they wanted it to or not. “You definitely are, you … thought of this right.” That was maybe the lamest thing to say and of course Athena would know it. Winston didn’t get it, why was she here with them? “Med school?” Winston asked with a raised eyebrow, “You want to be a doctor? That’s really cool, but I understand the dilemma, if you feel like you should be here how can you leave? Even if it would potentially give you a better option?” Winston knew that they could never leave. Not when they knew the truth about what was really going on in White Crest. “Who knows right? Guess only time will tell whether or not we’re going to have any mutual friends.”

“Well, it would be nice to see you too.” Athena grinned. “I think a lot of things through,” event though she knew that Ri would say the opposite, and even though even she knew that she perhaps ran into things headfirst without thinking. Her academics had always been something she’d taken at least relatively seriously, though -- she had to, if she wanted to be a doctor, go to medical school and turn out just as skilled as (if not more so than) her father. “Yes, I’d love to be! Surgery, possibly - specifically otolaryngology, but I’m also interested in medical genetics and immunology or studying allergies.” A shrug, “it is complicated, and I’ll have to figure out what is best for me,” and what my parents allow, “but even if I didn’t go to Harvard or Johns Hopkins, I would still do my best to get the best education possible. Names mean a lot, but the experience is the most valuable.” She raised an eyebrow at their comment but did not press further. “Well, if only time will tell, then I do suppose we must spend more of it together.”

“For sure,” Winston replied, “sometimes thinking can be overrated, sometimes if you think about something too much it makes it worse, y’know?” Winston wasn’t sure that Athena knew. They liked Athena. Maybe more then they should. She was smart and perceptive and there was something hot about the fact that Winston knew she would be able to judo flip a vampire without so much as a second thought. There was just something nagging at the back of their mind. Why Winston? They didn’t get the interest in them, maybe that was just self doubt but no one normally paid this much attention to them. They were pretty used to being invisible. “Otolaryngology?” Winston asked curiously, making a note to google it as soon as they got back to their desktop, “that sounds really smart, probably a bit above my pay grade, but you definitely sound like you’re doing the right thing, shooting for a goal and working hard is tough but it’s always worth it and you seem like you know what you want anyway, I’m sure you don’t need someone you barely know telling you that your life choices are valid anyway.”

“Oh, I agree. If you think too much you get all done up in your own thoughts and well, that’s not good for anyone, is it?” Athena smirked. She took another sip of her drink, a small bit of foam on her lips before she ran her tongue across it. “Yes, and thank you! Well, surgeons do make a decent salary but I’d also be doing it to learn, to help people.” To have excuses for things, too, but those words went unspoken. “Well, no, I might not need that, but I also am not opposed to it, it’s nice to see that people care about my life choices. Especially if they are someone who I plan on seeing again, sometime.”

Winston’s eyebrows shot up at Athena’s tongue on lips. Swallowing gently they wished that they hadn’t finished their coffee so that they could use something to act as a distraction but there was no distraction for this. Despite their own words, Winston was thinking way too much right now. “Yeah- a good- exactly,” Winston agreed and nodded along with Athena acting as if they still had an inkling of what they were talking about and weren’t still distracted from moments ago. “Sure, well, very valid life choices.” Winston might be sweating? They weren’t sure but they didn’t want to find out. “Yeah, definitely, this has been fun.” They weren’t lying. Athena was cool. They liked her a lot. She was just not really what they’d expected.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #227

“it’s my party, and i’ll die when i want to.”

Where do you hang your towel to dry after showering? On the rack that's on the bathroom door. What kind of mouse pad do you have? It's just a simple black one. Do you brush your hair with a comb or a brush? A comb. If you had a choice to be a unicorn or mermaid which would it be? Probably a unicorn? Idk. I think unicorns are cooler, but I guess being a mermaid (as depicted in the media, however) would be fun. Can you do a hand stand? No. If you were the opposite sex, how would you style your hair? Fuck man emo hair is the way to go don't even try to change my mind. What movie are you embarrassed to admit you’ve watched? None, really. Would you rather spin upside down going 30 miles or drop 400 ft. into water? Well, dropping 400 ft. into water would literally result in your body exploding upon impact with the water; at that height (I'm pretty sure that's high enough, anyway), the water's surface would be like concrete at the velocity you land. Soooo, the former. I'd like to live. What's your favorite shape? "I don’t really have one. I guess the shape of women’s bodies? Like, all kinds of them? Whooooopsie gaysie!" <<<< HAHAHA YOOOOOOOOO THIS. If you were put in a room with nothing except for a pencil and paper, what would you write? Doodle meerkats or write poetry. Do you use deodorant? Does anyone who can afford it and in America not? I'm ignorant to if that's a societal standard in other places in the world. Do you think you’ve grown as a person since this time last year? I honestly don't know. If you could change one physical trait about yourself, what would it be? Can I PLEASE weigh around 120 again??? Have you ever gone out with someone you didn’t like? Well, I didn't not like him. I kinda had a crush on him in high school for a brief period, but we lost communication throughout school. When he asked me out a few years ago, I only agreed to it as a test, I guess. He was a good person, and again, I had liked him. It was a "get to know one another (again)" thing. It was still very, very unlike me, though; I usually date people only when I know I'm into them. Looking back, it really was mostly an "I don't want to hurt his feelings" thing. What are some of your morals? "I wouldn’t say I have any unique morals or things like that. I just…don’t do harm and treat people like I’d want them to treat me." <<<< Pretty much this. I don't see my morals as unordinary. Just hopefully the usual good person. Would you ever take a bullet for your significant other? I wouldn't even fucking hesitate. Do you like your smile, or are you unhappy with it? I hate it. I look high when I smile. My eyes squint too much. If you were starving on a freezing mountain, would you eat your friend? No. Some things aren't worth living after. Out of all your friends, who can you count on the most? Sara. Do people who say they’re depressed bother you? I actually don't think any other survey question I have EVER come across boils my blood like this one. Fuck no they don't. Depression isn't a goddamn choice. Rot the fuck in Hell if depressed people "bother" you. Their mental illness is far, far, far fucking more an inconvenience to the victim than to you. What do you think of hunting? By this point in my animal/wildlife conservation and welfare eruption, I'm perfectly open in calling you a goddamn asshole if you hunt for any reason other than survival. There is something seriously wrong in your head if you get fucking pleasure out of ending a life without reasonable cause. Damn man, this surveys getting me fired up, lmao. White lies aren’t dangerous; true or false? They can be. Do you pretend your crush is with you when you’re home alone? I mean, I can daydream? But I don't actually like, pretend they're present. How many times do you go behind your parents’ back weekly? Never. Do you tend to go for people older or younger than you? Older or the same age. I don't mind if they're slightly younger though, so long as they're of legal age of course. If you became a doctor, would you help your patients kill themselves? I am 110% in favor of assisted suicide when a patient is diagnosed with a terminal malady. Forcing a human being to suffer 'til their inexorable death via the hands of their illness is, to me, torture. I genuinely do think I'm a very compassionate and gentle person, so while it would be ABSOLUTELY heartbreaking and probably scarring, I actually feel I'd be a good option for a doctor euthanizing a qualified patient. Are you good at haunted houses, or do you scream your head off? I haven't been to very many at all, actually. The one I remember that I've attended a few times, I handled just fine. They're fun to me. If you’ve seen it, what did you think of the Twilight movie? I didn't watch it, so I really can't make a fair judgment, but from what I've seen and heard (so take this with a grain of salt), the acting is horrid and the romance is very poorly composed. Would you rather be called babe or darling? The latter. Does the movie Titanic make you cry? Oh Lord, yes. We (surprisingly) watched it during one of my psych hospital stays, and even some of the guys were teary-eyed. What is your favorite thing to do on your phone? Play PokemonGO when I'm in enough of an urban area to be able to lmao. Which Disney princess resembles you the most? *shrugs* Which fairytale seems closest to your life story? Rapunzel being trapped in her home, lmao. What color was your first phone? Hm... I believe it was blue? Was your first phone a flip phone? I don't believe so; it slid upwards. What is your favorite pizza parlor? I'm a basic bitch that finds Domino's to be the bomb diggity. What is an old website that closed down that you miss? Hm... I'm not sure. Well, the site itself didn't close down, the Animal Planet's Meerkat Manor forum and games are dearly missed by me. Have you ever had an embarrassing period story? If so, what happened? Not that I recall, thankfully. What was your worst experience in high school? My depression. How much did your senior prom dress cost you? I don't remember, but I know it wouldn't have been all that expensive. Did you cry at your high school graduation? I only teared up very slightly. Did you cry at your college graduation (if applicable)? N/A, but I'm sure I will out of so much pride and joy. Do your parents try to stop you from chasing your dreams? Hell no. My parents are so, so supportive Who is a former friend that you wish would come back into your life? I miss Megan so, so much. Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Two. What instrument did you play in the marching band? I wasn't in the marching band, but rather the normal one. I played the flute. Who got kicked off of your favorite talent show that you were mad about? Okay, so I remember one year, there was this very quiet, shy, and darkly-styled young man with a love for metal on America's Got Talent. Everyone was expecting a screamo mess, and then he belts out FUCKING BEAUTIFUL opera. Everyone lost it, myself included, and the sweetheart started crying. Sadly, he was eliminated the next round because his nerves got to him, poor thing. Do you own the entire series on DVD of any TV show? If so, what? Meerkat Manor. What show did you always want to be on when you were a kid? None, really. Can you tell the difference between Mary-Kate and Ashley? I think I could as a kid? I haven't seen them in forever and half. Who is your favorite set of twins? *shrugs* What is the grossest thing you have ever vomited up? Idk? Have you ever thrown up in public, in front of someone else? If yes, was it embarrassing? Yes, but I was in kindergarten, so it wasn't too embarrassing. I was just surprised. Did you ever take your dog to school? Whoa... this brought back memories. I believe I did bring Teddy to school one day in elementary school... 5th grade, maybe? I can't recall what the occasion was, though. Name one person you know who had a baby in high school. I don't remember her name. Describe your dream wedding in three words. Autumnal, personal, memorable. What do you hate the most about summer? The fucking heat. What is your favorite thing to do in a swimming pool? Just swim around. Which part of your body is the most muscular? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BOY I couldn't even GUESS. My legs are recovering from muscle atrophy, so OBVIOUSLY not them. My arms aren't impressive. Neither is my stomach at all. I honestly don't know. What was the last race you ran called? Brittany??????????????? running a?????????????????? r a c e??????????????????????????????? Which major holiday is closest to your birthday? Valentine's Day. Do you find kite flying boring? I haven't done that since I was a kid, but BOY did I LOOOOOVE it back then! I'd probably still find it kinda fun. What is your favorite musical? Musicals make me cringe. Have you ever seen a Broadway show? No. What is the best summer camp you have ever been to? Well, I remember as a kid, one of the vacation Bible schools I went to was pretty fun. It was Hawaiian-themed. Have you ever ran a cash register? Never. Ever. Fucking. Again. Do you like the feeling in your stomach on a big drop on a roller coaster? I've never been on one, but I hate even just the sensation you get when the elevator goes up or down. I immediately get dizzy and nauseous. It's so bad that I even experience this in video games if you have to jump from a large height. What is your favorite roller coaster? N/A How and when were you baptized, if applicable? Hell if I remember. Have you been baptized more than once? No. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? Carve it. Have you decorated for fall yet this year? No. Do you own pumpkin earrings? No, but now I want some. That sounds so cute. Have you ever asked someone to be your Valentine? I mean, not really? I've had s/os on Valentine's Days, so being each other's is kinda just... a given. What was your favorite video game to play with your brother? My older half-bro, when he lived with us anyway, used to play this mercenary game (I don't remember the name) that I LOVED watching him play. Idk why. Really when he played anything I would sit right beside him and watch. What computer game did you used to play all the time? Amazon Trail 3 was my cocaine, hunny. Do you like the name Ellery? I guess it's kinda cute... but it reminds me of celery. Do you find cemeteries pretty? "Pretty" isn't the word I'd use, but I find them aesthetically pleasing. They're more like... mysterious, enchanting. Does your phone screen freeze a lot? Often enough... Who is the better cook in your household? My mom. What by your definition is the naughtiest thing you have done? I guess the time I was entirely naked and him just in boxers going the fuck at each other on the chaise in the living room when we were home alone one night. Or maybe when we "slept" in my sister's room one night (can't remember exactly why) and we just fooled around the entire night instead. He came on her bed multiple times, hence why I guess it fits "naughtiest." (Yes, yes, he cleaned it up, calm down.) I honestly haven't done anything too wild. What is one thing you’d never want your parents to find out? The Joel situation I've told before. Which room of your house are you in? Mine. How many blankets do you sleep under? One thick one. I miss my school lunch menu.. what’s the fave thing on yours? Okay real talk, my high school chicken sandwiches were The Good Shit. Do you like your best friend's parents? Could you even tell me their names? I love them, and I could, but it's not my business to share that online. Anything silly that annoys you? (I hate hearing nails being clipped) I really hate people going in/out the opposite door. Why are you where you are right now? I absolutely have to take a mental health day from school, so I'm home in my room. Did you used to watch Blues Clues? Of course. What's your opinion on people wearing high heels to school? I feel very sorry for your feet, aha. But I don't care if you do, go for it. What difficulty do you play on Guitar Hero? I used to play like, everything on expert, but now if I do, I can barely manage expert on most and have to do hard. Do you stutter when you get nervous? BADLY. You’re at the grocery store, what 3 fruits do you get? Strawberries, apples, grapes. If you died next week, what would be the cause of death? Sleep deprivation lmao. Love these night terrors + nightmares. What do you think about dating websites? Whatever. I definitely think there are better, safer ways, but it's not a huge deal. Just go into it with a genuine heart and mind of wanting to find love. There's nothing wrong with wanting a partner to enjoy life with. Do you wear contacts or glasses? I wear glasses. I wish I could do contacts, but noooo sir. I had them very briefly again earlier this year, but I just couldn't; all I could do was feel them there, mainly the weighted one in my left eye because my vision is so bad in it. They just bugged me too much. What is one memory you have from elementary school? Making our own butter in 4th grade came to me first. We walked through school singing this annoying song while we shook our jars. Do you own a pair of converses? A few. How many fridges are in your house? One. Are you easy to get along with? I hope so, but idk. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? She's over 800 miles away lmao. What kind of people are you attracted to? Platonically or romantically? Well, with either, I'm drawn to compassion, a tranquil mind, empathy, gentleness, romance if we're talking romantic attraction, a deep thinker, wisdom, creativity, uniqueness/individuality, just, funny, thoughtful, charitable, concerned with nature/love and kindness to animals, intelligence... There's a lot. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? I don't see why I wouldn't be. Do you like it when people play with your hair? My hair's too short now for that. It'd feel weird. I used to like it, though. Do you think there is life on other planets? Probably. Do you like bubble baths? I don't enjoy baths period. Who are you most comfortable around? My mom, or Sara. Depends on the subject matter. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? No. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? I wouldn't. I'm strictly monogamous and to me would feel like cheating. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yeah. What do you say during awkward silences? Nothing, but I panic inside. What are you paranoid about? My loved ones secretly hating me or leaving me, being raped, people thinking I'm weird (and not in a good way), stuff like that. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? I don't think so. Been suspended/expelled? For what? No. Been arrested? For what? No. Craving something? What? Nothing. What color are your towels? They're varied. How many pillows do you sleep with? Two. Favorite animal? MEERKATS. Opossums are #2. Favorite character from Mean Girls? I don't remember the characters at all. Favorite actress? Betty White. Favorite actor? BITCH Markiplier, lmao. But okay if you mean a "real" actor, probably Johnny Depp. Last time you were in an elevator? Thursday when I had to go upstairs to my Writing class. It's absolutely humiliating, but I can't make it up two flights of stairs due to my muscle atrophy without people asking if I'm okay. Even going down is dangerous for me because my legs ABSOLUTELY QUAKE and I have to go extremely slow. I go down via stairs anyway though for practice. I'm going to fall one day, I know it. I’m sure we all know what your name is… so, tell us what your boss’ name is? N/A Do you actually read your friend’s surveys, or do you just copy paste them and fill them out yourself? Yes; I love learning about my friends. When you were a kid, which comic strip was your favorite? I didn't care for them. Would you feel guilty about cheating on your taxes if you got away with it? Well yeah. Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced? It is pierced. What woke you up this morning? A nightmare that resulted in me screaming almost the loudest I ever have in my life. My throat hurt for quite a while. What was your favorite sweet as a child? Reese's cups. Still are. Do you own a lunch box? Yeah. How many times a day do you brush your teeth? Once, oops. If there was a fire, what would you take with you? The very first thing I'd grab would be Teddy, then Roman, Venus, and then my laptop, probably. How many people have the same middle name as you? The majority of the white female population lmao. Does your house have a white picket fence? The backyard does. Have you ever needed to call the police? 911 when we thought my mom was having a heart attack. What are you best at? Writing, I guess.

[thinkpinkwrites]

culture shock

i’ve had an influx of followers after my last fic - thanks and hi :) - so i wanted to write something short and cute that’s been sitting in the back of my head for awhile. i’ll probably throw it up on ao3 as well.

Kolivance - PG - Lance is having fun introducing Kolivan to all things human, and Kolivan seems to be enjoying himself as well. Lance is continuously surprised by all the things the Galra have no concept of and Kolivan is quick to ask for more information, he likes to stay well informed after all.

+

+

Lance always enjoys having the Blade of Marmora on the ship.

For one thing, it means Keith is around, and as much as he plays at hating the red paladin, Lance is aware that life is a lot more fun when Keith’s there to tease.

But besides that, Lance likes having the Blades on the ship because they’re so weird.

The Galra in general are an interesting race and the members of the Blades seem doubly so. He supposes years of leading double lives, running around the universe taking insane risks to bring down your own people and living by the strict code the Blades all seem to uphold would be a lot for anyone.

Lance, who can admit it to himself but would never say out loud, isn’t the brightest person on the ship but he knows enough to recognize how intelligent the Blades are.

Thace and Regris hold their own in conversations with Pidge and Hunk, which is an impressive feat all on its own.

Ulaz had only gazed at their medical equipment before jumping in to bring it up to modern day standards, Coran crowing in happiness the entire time.

And there’s something about the way Kolivan speaks… It’s like listening to a brilliant professor lecture – except it’s the hot professor whose lecture no one ever misses, no matter how boring.

Weirdly enough, Kolivan doesn’t seem to mind Lance hanging around to hear him speak. He even answers Lance’s questions without any sort of irritation or sense of imposition.

It’s nice.

It’s also how Lance discovers the startling differences in their cultures.

“So you mean you just don’t swim? Like, at all?”

“If necessary, for survival, I suppose most Galra would be capable.”

“But you don’t go out of your way to swim? You don’t have pools?” Lance can barely keep the disbelief from his voice.

“Pools? Like basins of water formed by rainfall or low tides?”

“No, like man made, er—Galra made structures that are deep and full of clean water to swim and play in? For fun? They’re usually outside of people’s homes…”

Kolivan’s expression is unimpressed. “I see no way in that being wet could possibly be construed as fun.”

On another occasion, Lance is bitching to Kolivan about Keith and Shiro and their absolutely ridiculous will-they-won’t-they back and forth.

“Like come on already, watching it is just painful!”

Kolivan hums, most of his attention on the tablet in his hand. Lance can tell he’s following along with the story though, and that hum sounded suspiciously like one of agreement.

“But I can’t say anything because it’s ‘not my place’ and ‘I need to mind my own business.’”

Kolivan does look up at that.

“What are you doing with your hands?”

Lance looks to where his hands are still raised, first two fingers crooked.

“Oh…uh, it’s called air quotations.”

“Air quotations?” His voice is skeptical.

“’Air quotations?’” Lance mimics with a laugh, repeating the gesture.

At Kolivan’s obvious confusion, Lance relents.

“It’s like a…signifier—that you’re quoting someone. I was just repeating what Pidge said to me.” Lance rubs at the back of his neck bashfully. “Usually it’s sarcastic.”

“Sarcastic?”

And so on.

Lance finds he quite enjoys trading strange customs back and forth with Kolivan. And he suspects the Blades leader feels the same way, as he’s begun seeking out Lance’s company more frequently.

Keith is weirded out by it, which is also a plus.

It’s one of those occasions where Kolivan had come looking for him. Lance wasn’t even aware the Blades were on ship and is pleasantly surprised to see the leader walk into the lounge, taking a seat on the couch.

Lance is sprawled across the floor, his shoes kicked off and jacket thrown a few feet away from him.

“New meditation technique?” Kolivan asks. He’s getting better at sarcasm and Lance couldn’t be prouder.

Lance snorts. “No, just exhausted. I have to cover Keith’s chores when he’s away with you guys on top of mine.”

Lance sits up suddenly, squinting at the other man.

“Does this mean Keith is back on ship?”

Kolivan nods and Lance flops back with a sigh.

“Good! Now he can finish up the training rooms. If they think I’m gonna do his chores when he’s actually here, they can kiss my ass.”

Kolivan tilts his head in that cute way Lance has come to associate with culture shock.

“Kiss your ass?”

Lance blushes, the sound of a curse word falling from Kolivan’s articulate tongue is just slightly thrilling.

“Oh um, it’s just an expression. I don’t really want them to kiss my…ya, know.”

Kolivan’s luminous yellow eyes spell confusion.

“And kissing would be?”

Now Lance is actually flushing, his cheeks burning.

“Galra don’t kiss?”

At Kolivan’s blank look he continues. “Um, press their mouths together, sort of, uh—lick at each other’s mouths.”

“And why would one do this?”

Lance sits up, looking anywhere but at Kolivan.

“Well it’s…nice. It’s fun.” He sighs, and it’s somewhat wistful. “People do it to show that they love each other. And to, lead into other things…”

He trails off, pressing a hand to his warm face, finally looking towards the Galra seated in front of him.

Kolivan looks curious. “I can’t picture it,” he finally says and Lance chokes.

Kolivan turns to him in concern and Lance waves him off.

Once he’s finally got himself together, he coughs. “Well I…I mean. I could always…show you?”

Lance tries not to look like he’s dying inside when Kolivan’s expression becomes one of intrigue.

He hums thoughtfully before nodding. “Yes, I would have you show me. Shall I come to you?”

Lance shakes his head, eyes wide. “No, no. This will be easier if you’re seated. You’re uh…really tall.”

Kolivan nods in understanding, sitting up straighter, waiting for Lance.

Jesus Christ.

Lance would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about it.

He and Kolivan kind of spent a lot of time together! And the Blades leader was always so nice to him. Never made him feel like he was in the way.

And his broad shoulders and bulging biceps made Lance weak in the knees.

Not to mention his ass. Why were the Blades uniforms so tight?!

Never one to back down, Lance gathers his resolve. Taking a deep breath, he stands up and walks towards the couch.

Kolivan watches him the entire time, face blank, like he’s going into a mission.

Lance supposes this is somewhat like an intel mission for him. Lance has information that Kolivan doesn’t, and he’s taking steps to remedy that.

Lance sighs.

His first kiss in years and it’s with an alien that has zero idea of the significance.

Oh well.

If I’m gonna to do this, I’m gonna make it count.

Lance steps into Kolivan’s personal space, closer than he’s ever been to the older Galra. He looks down at Kolivan’s knees and can barely contain a moan as thick thighs spread, giving him room to get even closer. In this position Lance has the advantage of height, but only just.

“So, um,” Lance’s hasn’t felt this nervous in years, and that included getting launched into space in a mysterious giant lion. “You’ll need to tilt your head back, just a little.”

Kolivan does, but slightly too far. Lance bites his lip before reaching out with both hands to guide Kolivan’s face into the right position.

His skin is soft, like peach fuzz up to his ears, and then it’s thick fur – begging for Lance to sink his fingers into.

Get it together Lance, get in and get out. This is an intel operation, not a make-out session.

Kolivan’s eyes are burning into his own, and Lance swallows at the intensity of his expression.

“Most people, um, close their eyes. But you don’t have to! Just, it usually makes it—better.”

Kolivan grunts lowly and closes his eyes.

Lance barely suppresses a relieved sigh. It’s easier without the weight of Kolivan’s stare.

With his eyes closed, his face is entirely relaxed, and Lance can’t help noticing how much younger he looks.

Lance gathers his courage and leans in, sliding his hands further into Kolivan’s hair, grasping at the strands as he presses their mouths together.

It’s sweet but chaste. Kolivan’s mouth is firm but giving, his lips slightly chapped.

Lance pulls back slightly and Kolivan opens his eyes.

“That was not what I expected,” he says, like a scientist whose theory has just been shot down.

“Well, it’s usually…more.”

Lance can tell he’s going to ask, so he saves them both the trouble and leans back in.

This time, Lance uses his hands in Kolivan’s hair to guide the movements, sliding their mouths together purposefully.

Lance pulls back just enough to run his tongue along Kolivan’s bottom lip. Ever the quick study, Kolivan’s mouth opens just slightly, enough for Lance to dip his tongue in shallowly.

Kolivan makes a soft noise in his throat and Lance feels a rush of endorphins, his stomach swooping.

He’s incredibly pleased when Kolivan starts to take initiative in the kiss, his tongue running over the seam of Lance’s mouth before taking his bottom lip between sharp teeth and tugging gently.

Lance is swooning, this is getting out of hand and he is in no rush to stop it. He starts to lift his knee, sliding it into Kolivan’s lap when a loud noise startles him backwards.

Only Kolivan’s quick hands at his waist keep him from tumbling onto his ass, and Lance turns slowly towards the doorway.

Keith is standing there, eyes wide in disbelief. Shiro and Hunk, who look more embarrassed than anything, are standing behind him.

“What the fuck?” Keith asks, voice unusually high.

Lance looks back to Kolivan, who is watching the scene unfold with calm composure. Lance jerks out of his grasp and is surprised to see a flash of irritation on the Galra’s normally impassive face.

Lance laughs nervously, hands going to his cheeks to cover what he’s sure is an embarrassingly obvious blush.

“Oh—Hey! Uh, we were just,” he looks helplessly around the room.

“Making out?” Hunk offers helpfully, and Lance shoots him a glare.

“Kolivan didn’t know what a kiss is, and I didn’t know how to explain it properly, and this was the easiest method, so—”

“Wait, wait,” Keith interrupts. “What do you mean he didn’t know?”

Lance looks to Kolivan, who has already turned to his tablet, clearly bored with this discussion.

“He told me how Galra don’t kiss, and I was—”

“Lance, Galra kiss.” Keith’s voice is exasperated.

“Wait, what?” Lance looks at the group in the doorway in confusion. Keith is looking at Lance like he’s the stupidest person he’s ever met, and Shiro is trying to hide a laugh behind his hand.

Hunk has the good grace to look sympathetic.

“Galra kiss. They make out, they have sex, we’re basically the exact same reproductively.” Keith rolls his eyes as he explains.

“But why…” Lance looks to Kolivan, who is studying his tablet with forced nonchalance. At Lance’s silence he finally looks up and Lance can see that he’s fighting a smirk as he shrugs.

“Wow.” Lance pinches the bridge of his nose, he can feel a tension headache coming on. “Just—wow.”

Leaning down to grab his jacket and shoes from the floor, Lance doesn’t look at anyone as he heads towards the door.

Shiro and Hunk move out of his way, Shiro dragging Keith along with him.

“If anyone needs me, I’ll be drowning myself,” Lance throws over his shoulder.

He’s not even a little surprised when Kolivan calls after him. “I thought you knew how to swim?”

[gungambled]

drabble: separation

@the-taboo-king

     thick tendrils of smoke fill the air -- that smell to MASK the death in the room, the death that has invaded the underworld in a far more prominent manner in the time since she left it. UNPREDICTABLE, if it were not for the gun in her hand and the fact that it REFUSES to go off when pale finger pulls the trigger, she would not BELIEVE she was still capable of her title. celestia passes the gun around to the person beside her -- inherently SHIVERING at the look of madness in her eyes. the SANE and those steeped in despair, it seems they co-mingle here more than in other places, where people come to have everything taken or everything gained. beside her the gun goes off and she feels WARM liquid on her cheek. she does not need to see it to know what it is -- nor is there any DOUBT what the thudding sound beside her is.

       situated in her seat, she LOUNGES as if she has no worries in the world. taeko yasuhiro in the gambling underworld once again, there was no need to keep her identity hidden. they all KNEW. and if she were to lower herself to these games again, she knew she needed to use it to get her emotions out in the best way she knows HOW: that faceless aggression of the plain. arms cross before her chest a look of indifference upon her features as her arms untangle to swipe away that blood on her cheek with a swift motion.

       time has not TREATED her well in her loneliness. drawn in again, when she IS on the island she does her rounds with a certain lack of care -- unwilling to talk to anyone for long because she knows the questions that bubble beneath the surface. she has REFUSED to talk about what happened to cause this, to stay in place and talk for long even with her OWN classmates. she has no DOUBT that the whispers of taeko yasuhiro have reached their ears even in the fact that media is near non existent. or maybe she just WANTS them to know, a vindictive part of her hoping that words of his recklessness might cause them to MAKE her stop. maybe she NEEDS them to stop her because she ends up dead.

        because as she sits here, scarlet hues watching as the gun is reloaded -- a hole in her chest, celestia KNOWS she needs someone to stop her. addiction born anew, there are new games these days. far more DANGEROUS than russian roulette. without a doubt her odds were not good, and she often finds herself WONDERING once again if the only way it will stop is if the odds fall unfavorably on her side. she NEVER expected to break so spectacularly, to need THIS again to feel whole, or at least to convince herself as such.

     another gunshot rings out and suddenly it is only she and one of the FEW people here she had been familiar with before this all went to hell. an old rival she had continually destroyed. she watches as he fills the chamber -- a smirk on his lips that she DOES NOT like. celestia has seen it on him, the despair that clings to his skin. in a WAY is she not doing the world a SERVICE? helping to remove these people that taint the world even with enoshima gone. legs move from where they are propped up on the table and she leans in with her OWN grin -- a twisted thing of confidence on black lips, when she feels NONE of it.

      and then she feels SOMETHING unexpected -- a smoking barrel aimed at her instead of him followed by a FLASH of pain in her arm. she can feel the blood running before it completely registers what has happened. a gasp of pain leaves her lips as the other man throws the gun to the side and steps around the table a fist aimed to her face. another blinding pain and she falls out of the chair pale hand lifting to cover place where she has felt her lip split with the strike. seeing stars it takes a moment for her to pick herself up. a bloody scowl directed him to combat the MALICE in his gaze.

            “ fuck you, yasuhiro -- you don’t control this world anymore. you and your pretty rules and dresses and acting like you OWN us all. you’re done. “

        growled with unrestrained hatred she reaches downward to try to get her knife before another fist is thrown at her -- and she finds herself suddenly held against the wall. a reminder of her weakness, of the FACT that this was how she was always supposed to end. always something she had expected -- she spits in his FACE, blood upon his skin as she tries to IGNORE the feeling of tightness upon her cheek and lips -- the burning pain of the bullet wound. his hand finds her throat and that defiant expression DIES on her face, that expression of porcelain turning more into something of panic. is she ready to die?

       one hand reaches up to try to CLAW his hand away from her throat to no avail. his body crushing her own she finds herself giving into the feeling of breathlessness that takes over -- almost resigned to her silent fate: to die as NOTHING as she had expected so long ago. tears fill her eyes -- and the man takes no heed. there is a TWISTED pleasure in watching her crumble in his hands. his grip TIGHTENS. it is as her vision swims that her fighting spirit ignites again -- the ANGER filling her at the thought of going like this. she always wanted it to be by her own hand. not some DESPAIR infused freak. flight or fight instincts kick in and suddenly a KNEE is brought up to his groin and his grip loosens just enough for her to drop to the ground with a GASP.

      she manages to bring a hand down to grasp that trusty knife flashing out to CUT the achilles tendon without a second thought. her gaze is BLANK as he falls before her. hand lifts to bring the knife down upon him again before there is ANOTHER flash of pain that makes her cry out -- she pushes through it and slams it down upon him again and AGAIN. she has no idea of the extent of her own injuries but she can feel each slice of his flesh and the precise moment he stops moving but she doesn’t STOP -- feeling that swirl of despair flickering before she finds herself PUSHING herself away, eyes wide. she does not get far, a pain in her leg drawing her gaze to reveal that a knife had been lodged in her thigh.

      everything seems too CLEAR. she knows she is losing blood, that she might have a concussion. but at least she is ALONE in this room now. she was ALIVE. trembling hands grab her phone and send a message to naegi requesting immediate help -- knowing if she did not receive it she would never make it back, even if she did not KNOW if she wanted to make it back. the deed done she curls in on herself, trembling and in SHOCK. fingers find their way to her hair despite the pain in her arm in the reach. she is tempted to SCREAM but she does not because she knows the people in the other room. survival of the fittest.

      how lucky ( or unlucky ) it is that the pain manages to keep her conscious despite a swimming mind. knife is lifted as she hears approaches footsteps and an opening door. she only drops it into her lap when she recognizes who it is. she sees naegi’s expression and she KNOWS what she probably looks like. covered in blood, a split lip -- a black eye forming. but at least he doesn’t overreact. instead he comes up to her, kneeling in the blood that pools around her. instinctively she dips her gaze away, expecting him to reprimand her -- to tell her how DUMB her actions were. there were other people there too but she isn’t paying attention to them.

    “ celeste… we thought this might be what you were doing. but why? everyone has been so worried.“

     maybe he shouldn’t be asking these things when she’s bleeding in front of him, but she doesn’t mind. it’s better than him lecturing her for her stupidity. she feels vulnerable and she HATES it but after all of this it is what she deserves. she shakes her head, so light in the absence of her extensions and she still refuses to look up at him.

“ they didn’t need me there -- you know it as well as i. i had to find SOMETHING, somewhere i could feel whole. guess i chose wrong. it is… my bad. “

       unbidden, a tear falls from her eye and she leans forward to hide it. she WONDERS if gundham has been doing such dangerous things like her. if anyone has heard anything new since she had been gone left. everyone MUST know her reason for aimlessness -- as silly as it may seem. one person should never define a person that much and yet he did. suddenly she finds gentle arms around her and she leans into the touch -- the MOST open thing she has done with naegi outside of the very thing that started this all. the moment everything shattered. he remains silent and she takes a deep breath. finally she mumbles a question:

           “ any news on him… any a-at all? “

       a sigh from naegi before she feels him shake his head.

  “ no, but they’re looking for him. everyone’s been worried about you two and your disappearing acts. you’d think you thought no one liked you, even after all this time. “

       celestia knows this is PRECISELY how she has been feeling, no matter how illogical a thought it was. there were certain bonds formed even when things are strained. her classmates would always defend each other. it was simply difficult to comprehend sometimes. she winces in the pain and naegi moves away from her. finally she lifts her head to him. everything is so PAINFUL.

           “  i should have thought th-this through… my… apologies. “

      she can feel herself growing weaker in the moment her thoughts fluttering more as she looks at neagi with those tear streaks on her cheek, cutting through the blood. they need to get out of her and FAST. she watches as naegi gestures for one of the men with him to step forward, and she feels his arms beneath her. so she is to be CARRIED? nothing too difficult given her slight stature and lack of grandeur. still, as she is lifted naegi gives her a sad smile.

“ apology accepted. just stop scaring us. that’s really all we ask. “

       a small nod from celestia before she speaks again, softer than before -- as if it is a secret, even if the whole world KNOWS the truth already.

      “ …. i miss him. “

                                                            “ i know. “

     and then the world fades into a weird GRAYNESS, where she is aware of being carried but not much else. she was going HOME.

[bananashemmo]

When We Collide (Part 33)

Authors Note: To celebrate my 20th birthday which is today (July 31st) I’m sharing another update of When We Collide. This isn’t just a normal update but a special once since this is written in Luke’s point of view! I hope you will enjoy this chapter as it was a bit different from my normal style and thank you so much for the birthday wishes! I’m happy to wake up every single day to your messages, your positivity and your kindness! Happy birthday to me! 

Pairing: Assistant!Y/N/CEO!Luke

Rating: NC-17

Masterlist: Here

Summary: He is the definition of high class smart ass, swimming in Dom Pierre Pérignon champagne and has never seen the shadow of poverty. She is underprivileged, lives in a messy dorm room on sale and struggles working as an assistant after being thrown out of college. But how will they collide when Luke makes Y/N pregnant after a drunkenly one night stand

When We Collide on Wattpad

“Great Luke, great. Just seriously great. What a way to pick the straw.”

I shook my head in disbelief and sincerely tried my best to not stumble upon my long legs. It was like they had turned into jelly and I had no idea where they were carrying me.

The biggest failure of the new year so far.

Ask me all you want, I can’t give you a proper answer. What happened? How did this happen? Did I have control of my words? None of it, and if you ask me god how I just wished I could rewind everything back.

It was like my legs knew where they were dragging me but I had no idea how to cope with it. I knew just exactly well where I was heading and it was a luck that I had a plan because it was too cold to just stay outside. It would only take five minutes for me to take the drive and within seconds I would be in the heat again.

My already rosy cheeks were met by the cold wind as I headed outside. Had it always been this cold? Everything seemed so warm inside but it was like it was not appreciated enough. I could have sworn I had a scarf in the car but I was left with disappointment.

Speaking of disappointment? Who was the biggest one tonight? Definitely me.

Call it all the ugly words you wanted, I would take them all in. Not because I was ignoring it but because I felt every single insult sink in. Letting it spread from my mind and down to my stomach to form that knot that always seemed to arrive once I had done something that wasn’t right.

Wasn’t that what life was about? Trying to figure out what to do and what was right and wrong. I was always trying to find the limit but this time I had crossed the line.

Sure saying that banging Holly was the worst one to date but there was only one mission for it. I was trying to trying to realize what was going on in my head because the days up to the event, it was all cloudy and not properly thought through.

I was aware that it was a stupid choice to do it, the alcohol was definitely affecting but it was never an apologize to anything. People saying that the alcohol was the blame will always be the worst in my book, not only because it’s the lamest excuse ever but it’s only a coverup for something you’re not proud of.

I knew of my actions, I knew just exactly well what was going on. But at that point it wasn’t about Holly, it was about realizing what in the world was going on with myself.

The last couple of weeks, actually months I had been feeling weird. Sure, everything had changed since the announcement of the pregnancy but now we were close to the third trimester and it wouldn’t make any sense if I still had that weird pit in my stomach.

I was trying to block out the feelings, the things that were going on in my head because I wasn’t used to them. I wasn’t used to the sudden commitment, I wasn’t used to suddenly caring because that was how easy my life had went so far.

How hard was it to try finding someone as a CEO? Pretty easy if you ask me but not someone who would truly love you.

With all the perks and what else good to offer it wasn’t hard finding someone to love you. But the question always was, would this be true love or would it just be someone to use you for the benefit? You can always say that you love someone without meaning it and to be that thing suddenly had much more importance than to others.

I was always trying to come across someone that would take my mind off anything else. Trying to find someone that wouldn’t just be there for everything that I could offer, but to meet someone who actually preferred to see the actual side of me.

But that also meant suddenly showing a side I had never shown before. The sensitive one, the one that’s suddenly vulnerable and not obvious to the crowd. I had never showed this side of myself because committing to someone meant showing all the different sides, even the horrible and nasty ones.

It was a part of my life to push people away. It was the reason why everyone left and I’m sure as hell aware that Y/N thought of that too. Even if she wished it so sincerely she would never survive one moment in my mind.

Because I couldn’t think of nothing else but her.

It was weird at first but as time started to grow the more she was a part of it. I couldn’t recall or think how it had happened but it was like no matter what I did she would always be there. She was there when I would sleep, when I would hover over my desk in confusion or obviously sitting at work and looking at her sit more than ten meters away from me.

It was like no matter what I did I couldn’t brush her off.

It was hard to call it something because I never know what the feeling of love will be. I didn’t want to believe it in, specifically because I had never actually explained the reason for it.

No matter what I did she would never fully understand the concept of why I was acting like I did.

Being young and in love was not something huge. It was something that was so common and I was also in that state of mine. Falling in love with someone is so dangerous because they have you wrapped around your finger. They have your heart and they can do anything they want with it.

I had only been in love once and it was completely ruined for me.

You know that feeling where you believe you can take on the world. That nothing can stop you and you just know that the person you’re with love you with all her heart and that is it going to be the two of you forever.

That was the feeling I had. That was the feeling I was carrying day for day to realize that it all in the end came to the money.

I was left in disbelief. I was left to realize that the first girl I had ever loved was a cheater, someone only using me for the benefit and simply just letting me carry her around without knowing the truth behind it.

To me, it showed that girls were snakes, just as worse as the boys could be.

It made me distant myself from everything and everyone. Sure I could be pooling in a wave of girls but none of them would ever proper speak to me. Not because I wasn’t interested but because I knew with my profession you wouldn’t see the truth in people.

It’s so easy to lie nowadays and that’s what I’m carrying with. Even if I know it will destroy me in the end.

I was so nervous to knock on the door but I knew that I had too. It was late at night but I knew that the person hiding behind the door would be awake. It was a part of his job to always stay awake when I needed him.

I almost felt small when I had finally done it. It was like my fingers were bruising by the otherwise small touch against the wooden door frame but it was only because I was shaking so much. I wasn’t sure if this was the right idea, I could easily run and hide but not this time. I knew I had fucked up and the only person I knew who to talk to was-,

“Luke?”

The confusion was written on Ashton’s face, his curls were sticking to every direction possible and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. Of course he wasn’t expecting visitors to arrive and he seemed pretty tired but once he noticed it was me his eyes widened.

“What is wrong? Is it Y/N?” He asked fully awake and scratched the small bit of sleep that had spread in the corner of his eye.

“I’ve fucked up. Big time.”

It was like I didn’t need to say more. Ashton was quick to open his door and invite me in to the apartment that was not really familiar to me.

I had heard Y/N describe it a few times, how she had managed to make a small cut in the wooden floor but never actually admitted it to Ashton. She was pretty embarrassed by her small clumsy failure but had never dared to tell him. She was only admitting it to me because the guilt was almost biting her up.

“Yeah, Y/N owes me a new floor.” Ashton suddenly said, noticing how I was staring like it was what I was searching for and I was trying not to smile.

“I’ll pay for that.”

“Just like everything else you do for her.”

I knew he wasn’t trying to sound bitter but neither did I want to comment on it. I could imagine how much she must have been backtalking me, explaining how much she hated when I spoiled her because it wasn’t something she stood for. She loved her independence, she loved doing stuff that she earned her own way.

“Is that why you’re here? You ran out of money?” Ashton asked and walked into the kitchen while I slowly leaned against the couch not really knowing what to do with myself.

“Ashton listen I’m not here to have a battle I’m here to talk about Y/N. I know she’s probably said some horrible things about me and she has the right to it but now I’m asking you for forgiveness to actually make up for my mistakes.”

Ashton stopped in track from standing in front of his kitchen counter and looked down at his hands for a second. I wasn’t sure if he was going to continue the insults or change his mind but he sighed heavily.

“I know. It always takes two to a fight and despite I know that you’re one hell of an ass I also know you have a heart. It just takes some time to bring it out from you. Tea?”

I nodded my head in agreement and fell down to his couch. I wasn’t sure what kind of brand it was, most probably IKEA but I was find with it. It had a very comfortable and it had a blanket that I could recall to be egyptian. More maybe just IKEA again. I wasn’t sure.

“I’ve actually got something fancy for your ass. I think it’s from Elizabeth Arden or something green tea.”

“Elizabeth?” I asked just to hear if what I heard was correct and he nodded his head in agreement.

“Would you like some sugar, milk, anything?” He asked while opening a drawer and I nodded my head in agreement.

“Sugar would be fine.” I replied and considered I should stand up and held him but he seemed to not need it.

While he finished boiling the water over the stove and prepare the tea I took a look around his room. It wasn’t large and there was clothes scattered everywhere I assumed it was after his week with his siblings. They could be kind of rough at times and to try clean your clothes would be a hard task when something happened all the time.

“You play drums?” The words seemed to fall past from my lips without realizing and I looked at him with a quivered eyebrow.

“Oh yeah… It’s just an old hobby of mine.” He shrugged and lifted the two mugs from the counter, “I play when I have the time, when I feel inspired and when I know my neighbors are being to annoying. It’s kind of a way to have a sweet escape.”

“I know how it feels.” I nodded my head in agreement and this time it was his turn to quiver an eyebrow.

“I play the piano and guitar. Occasionally sing. Only in the shower mostly. It’s kind of a hobby of mine as well when I don’t yell at people for not doing what I say or buy helicopters.” The last thing was said with a wink in the eye but it wasn’t my intention to be rude or anything which Ashton caught easily.

“Funny Hemmings.” He commented and took a seat on the opposite couch of mine.

I silently laughed but it was replaced with a frown when I came back to reality. Ashton noticed my face expression change and so did his, he was very quick to ask again.

“Please remind me again why you’re here.”

“It’s about Y/N..”

It was an obvious statement and I quietly fiddled with the mug between my fingers. It was a very hot surface but with all the mixed emotions I had it was the last thought I shared. I was almost numb to me.

“I said some stupid things earlier on. Or more likely I’ve said some stupid things but it’s all because I’m scared of everything it was like everything hit me at once after the lamaze class. And no I don’t regret it because I needed this wake up call and I’ve been walking around for weeks preparing for everything but it wasn’t until the end of that class that it hit me hard.”

“That you like Y/N?”

It was silence that fell upon the room by Ashton’s words, but he was straight forward with his attitude. I almost clutched onto the mug with hot liquid and looked at him with wide eyes but I didn’t say anything.

“No becoming a father.” I tried to remain calm in my voice but it was hard because of the coughs.

“Luke there’s no need of denial. I know that you love her and it’s scarring you that she might not like you back.”

I swore if I could be the most confusion person in life this would be it. It was like I was driven onto a road I had no idea where was leading and even though I had just taken a sip of my tea my throat felt more dry than ever. It was almost burning.

“That’s not the point.” I shook my head and needed to change the subject. This wasn’t something I wanted to talk about right now.

“The point is that I disappointed her more than I ever have today. I wasn’t supposed to say the things, I didn’t mean all of them but I was so scared they ran past my mouth before I got the chance to control it. I know that I can’t take words back but you’ve seen her in her most vulnerable state and I’m begging you to help me out with this. I know we don’t always get along and I’m not here to say that I will pay you more I’m here because I’m more desperate than ever and you’re the one who can save me.”

I could tell that Ashton did not expect what I was saying. He didn’t even need the full story to understand what was going on. This was the edge of messing everything up and somehow he was the one to change it all, only if he wanted to.

“I’m not pressuring you to anything but this is something so important I don’t know what to do. I’ve tried doing anything I can to prove everything to her, I’ve even started doing the cleaning in the house to make it proud but even though I know it has worked to make us grow closer it’s not something she will she as me asking for her forgiveness.”

“But what do you need help with?” Ashton asked carefully and scratched his light stubble that reminded me I hadn’t shaved mine for days.

“I don’t know! Proving to her…” I didn’t know how to finish the sentence because it wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have right now. It was something that was in the back of my mind but i didn’t want to think about it, it was just pushed away.

Ashton looked down at me carefully but he was having something on his mind. Either he thought that I was being a mess and completely stupid right now or he thought that I was just really not taking the hint. I was, after all, lacking in a bit situation awareness when it came to her.

“You don’t need to prove anything to her, you don’t need to tell her everything you know about her neither do you need to buy everything that she needs. The only thing you have to do is show that you’re there for her. That you’re there for the baby, that you’re there for when she needs you because she is in one of her most vulnerable states and she can’t do it alone. She cannot do this without you, Luke.”

Living a life where things were so easy to buy I was always taught that less was never more.

But hearing Ashton say these words changed my mind completely. I knew always doing the simple things was what pulled me forward with Y/N and somehow I was always there when she needed it but I wasn’t there to actually let her feel I was there.

“You know Ashton I always believed that you hated me after figuring out that I was the father of Y/N’s baby.” I managed to say after some thinking and he nodded his head in agreement.

“I did.” He honestly said and we both looked down at our feet.

It was the first time it was actually spoken out loud between us. He had known for months that I was the father while I had walked around not being aware that someone besides Y/N knew it. When she told me that she had announced it to him it wasn’t even because I could become sad or angry. I understood her situation and trusted that he would keep her by the word.

Of course that didn’t change my feelings for Ashton, on the contrary. I knew he was hired to protect her of all costs after getting the diamonds because I never knew what would happen to and in the case she needed protection.

I was aware that their friendship had grown to the point of most probably falling for each other but I actually surprised to see that it didn’t go any further after they lived together. And also that she hadn’t changed her thought about him when she moved back to my place.

“I thought you were horrible I thought that she deserved nothing else but to get away from you. You treated her terribly, you didn’t understand the concept of taking care of someone else and the only one on your mind was yourself. You were too self-centered and along with Holly you didn’t cause anything else but trouble. I didn’t think she deserved any of that you treated her.”

I listened carefully word by word and couldn’t avoid the pit in my stomach. God how much she have felt so horrible I almost couldn’t bare it in my heart.

“But you know what? I’ve always listened to what Y/N says I’ve always taken her side and always taken her word over my own. So I learned that even a jerk can have a heart. It just takes some time to pull it out from him. And it takes the right person to prove that there’s love inside of someone. And that’s the thing with everyone, we all have flaws. You’ve been raised differently, you’ve been raised into the man that doesn’t need to show love. You do the opposite when you’re scared because you’re scared of ruining how you’re feeling only based on my bad experiences. But let me tell you something Luke. Don’t be the reason that’s she’s crying. Be the only reason why she’s smiling.”

By those particular words I looked up at blinked twice. The twist in my stomach was gone and the urge to stand up was like a craving. I was tripping on my feet.

I wasn’t sure if I was going to say thank you or not but the hug I gave Ashton seemed to be enough. He was a bit disturbed at first but when I felt him politely hit me twice in the shoulder I moved away with a small smile.

“I can’t change the world, I can’t change my old actions but I can change her mind?”

“Just do the right.” Ashton said as the last thing and followed me towards the door.

I didn’t even get the chance to finish my tea but it was long forgotten. I wasn’t sure for how long I was out but it had almost felt like five minutes. The ride back to the penthouse apartment seemed to take forever even in my fast car.

It wasn’t even with fear I took the long ride up the elevator. In fact I was so impatient I almost considered taking the stairs. But that also meant I would be completely out of breath when I showed up and I couldn’t let that happen.

Not that I had anything planned to say. I had no idea what I was about to do but the only thing that was on my mind was to get back to her as fast as I possibly could.

My heart skipped a beat once I was into the apartment it was like silence hit me at once. I had been running on the adrenaline and the noises around me it all became quiet when I walked inside and saw her.

She was sitting right where I had left her with tears streaming down her eyes it was like she had never stopped. She was clutching onto a white blanket on the couch but she almost dropped it to the ground when she weakly turned around by the sound of the door opening.

None of us said anything for a full minute as I took her all in. It was almost as if she didn’t believe I was standing there like she was just imaging it in her mind.

“L-,Luke?” She could barely let the question out and I swore under my breath I could feel my heart getting shattered.

She didn’t get the chance to say anything before I filled in the steps between us. She was still sitting on the couch stunned, her eyes were red and puffy but I still thought she was more beautiful than ever.

I could tell that she wanted to ask what was going on the confusion was written on her face. But I didn’t say anything. There wasn’t a proper word for this, there wasn’t a proper apology because things couldn’t be cured by words.

When we collide things break. But it’s time to pick up the broken pieces.

“I’m here.” I whispered as I sat down on the couch and wrapped my arms around her.

She was shivering but I in doubt if it was if she was cold. She was quick to press her cheek against my chest I had expected a bit of resistance but this was where she needed to be. It was what she had been needing since the long minutes I had left her.

“I’m right here.”

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

The Fake Boyfriend (Part 4)

Summary: Reader bumps into a stranger and her life gets flipped upside down…

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Pairing: AU!Dean x reader

Word Count: 2,500ish

Warnings: language

A/N: I love all the feedback and support this has been getting! I especially enjoyed this part...

“So this wedding is tomorrow?” mumbled Dean in bed. You grunted as the two of you lay there with closed eyes, not moving as the sun peaked in through the blinds. “I’m starting to think we really should ditch.”

“I’m a bridesmaid, I can’t do that,” you said, stretching your arms over your head, plopping one down directly over Dean’s face.

“Aw,” you heard him say as he pushed it up to rest on the unused portion of his pillow. 

“Huh?” you asked, seeing him sit upright. 

“I said ‘Ugh.’ We should probably get up if I want nutrients to survive today,” he said. You nodded in agreement as you sat up and waited for him to head into the bathroom. “Actually, you first today runt.”

“Such a gentleman,” you said patting him on the arm as you slipped inside. You didn’t bother with your hair so he had plenty of water and soon were setting out into the room in a towel. “You’re all set.”

“Thanks,” said Dean, standing by his bag, staring inside.

“Problem?” you asked, Dean’s internal fight all over his face.

“What am I supposed to wear?” he asked. “A baseball game and fancy dinner are easy. But today?”

“I’ll pick something out for you okay?” you said. “Don’t worry about it.”

“Please don’t dress me like a douche,” said Dean, pulling his shirt off as he walked into the bathroom. “There’s plenty of those around here.”

“Trust me a little, De.”

“How do I look?” asked Dean, spinning around like he was some male model.

“The doctor said there’s nothing we can do about you being a dork unfortunately,” you teased. Dean huffed and slapped his hands down.

“Y/N, seriously,” he asked and you smiled. You’d picked out a white long sleeve henley for him, a dark navy vest that was only a little puffy, a pair of dark blue jeans and his brown boots.

“You look good Dean,” you said, the skepticism all over him.

“I wear this same outfit all the time, minus the vest,” said Dean, crossing his arms.

“Exactly. It’s still you so you won’t feel weird all day but the vest makes it classed up a little. Plus it’s a little cooler out today. There’s a rollup hood in the collar if it rains or anything,” you said. You slipped on a pair of flats and grabbed your light denim jacket to throw on over your navy sundress with white polka dots.

“Did you match us on purpose again?” teased Dean as you looked at your color choices. “Although I suppose yesterday was my fault.”

“You’ve seen my bag and what I wear to bed. I’m not as...” you trailed off.

“Not as what?” he asked. You shook your head. “Girly? I’ve seen you in a dress. Two in fact. You look hot and gorgeous in them but that doesn’t mean you don’t know how to rock a tee too.”

“Let’s just get some food,” you said, Dean catching your arm before you could get past him. “What?”

“Still want to go swimming tonight?” he asked and you remembered the night before, how you’d had fun doing something so stupid and mundane with Dean.

“Yeah,” you said. “Nice swim trunks by the way. You’re definitely a salmon kind of guy.”

“How’d you know I didn’t just buy those?” asked Dean, releasing you as you headed out and down the hall.

“They say ‘Not Sam’s’ on the tag,” you chuckled. “He’s your brother right?”

“Yup, he’s a runt too. Well, not really, bigger than me actually but he’s my baby brother,” said Dean, slowing his walk. 

“You like him,” you said, Dean chuckling. “You’re proud of him I mean.”

“He’s a lawyer after everything we went through. Of course I’m proud of him,” said Dean. “I stole those trunks from him, must be close to five years ago now when I visited him.”

“You haven’t seen him in five years?” you said, stopping Dean in the hall. Dean shook his head.

“We haven’t gone swimming in five years. We see each other a couple times a year, talk all the time,” said Dean, throwing an arm over your shoulders. 

“Good,” you said, moving your hand up to hold his when you heard someone coming up the stairs. You said hello to your aunt as Dean stopped the two of you on one of the landings.

“Good?” he asked, watching the tilt of your head.

“Yeah, I’m glad he makes you happy. I think you’re a little lonely too, De,” you said. You watched him debate on how to respond and decided to put him out of his misery. “Come on, we got to go, half the freaking family is watching the two of us from the lobby right now.”

“I better put on a show then,” said Dean. He moved in slow but didn’t hesitate to bring his lips to yours. You melted into it, forgetting about everything for a moment. You both pulled back at the same time, not letting it last too long as you headed down the last flight of stairs.

“That lucky room is still working miracles. Even Y/N found-”

“Josh,” said Dean as the two you walked past him and into the dining room. “We have to spend the day together. I’m sure we’d both prefer it not start by me shoving my foot up your ass.”

“Joshua,” you heard a relative far off say.

“See you around Josh,” said Dean, cocking his head. 

“Try not to murder anyone today. Or embarrass the shit out of me,” you said, throwing the closest thing possible on your plate, Dean and you taking a table for yourselves.

“No murder. Can’t guarantee no punches will be thrown,” said Dean as you growled. “I’ll behave, runt.”

“You better,” you said, shoving food in your mouth. “If they get a stripper, you can do whatever you want.”

“I don’t think that’s very noble of me to do that to my fake girlfriend. Or classy of this family. Is that a normal thing?” asked Dean, glancing outside to where some people were gathering.

“The older men will veer off with the older woman this evening. That’s normally when they show up. Angie already said she got one for him so you can expect it,” you said, Dean wolfing down his food.

“Well, when that happens we’ll just ditch and go on our swim,” said Dean.

“Seriously, you’ve got permission not that you need it. Have fun with it,” you said.

“I’m not the greatest guy and I’ve had my fair share of one night stands but I’m not some sex crazed animal. If you’re going to tell your family not to objectify me, why don’t you do it yourself,” said Dean, stabbing his fork into his eggs.

“We aren’t real. I was only saying if you wanted to do something...it’s okay with me,” you said, pushing the last of your food around on your plate. “Sorry.”

“I shouldn’t have gotten pissed,” said Dean after a beat. “You’re trying to be nice. You always try to be nice.”

“I’m pretty sure you’ve called me a bitch in that head of yours only about a million times so far,” you said, cracking a smile.

“Nah, only like two tops,” said Dean, stealing the last part of your waffle. “One of those was when you ran into me on the street.”

“You ran into me, De,” you said, pointing your fork at him.

“Uh uh, runt. You did the running into,” he said, pointing back. You glared for a moment in jest before letting it fall away. “We’ll never agree on that, will we.”

“Nope,” you said, grabbing his empty plate and yours, returning them as you let out a big sigh. You grabbed his hand as you made your way out into the lobby where a flock of woman stood and one or two men lingered, waiting for Dean to take him away for the day.

“I’ll meet you by the pool later for drinks,” he said, pressing a fast kiss to your cheek that had the room aw’ing.

“That can’t happen fast enough.”

“I see you escaped from the horde,” you said around ten, taking in Dean’s backside as he sat on the edge of the pool, feet dipped in the heated water.

“You too, runt,” said Dean, turning his head, parting his lips for moment before shutting them. You glanced down at your black bikini, making sure it was still covering all the important bits before looking back up. Dean was staring but you didn’t mind. You’d stared at his chest and back that morning after his shower, took in those strong shoulders, those massive arms, the body that made you think of very bad things.

“What’d you get tonight for us?” you asked, sitting down next to Dean, letting your arm brush up to his. You reached around his back and to his side, pulling the bottled concoction over to you.

“It’s some fruity girly drink the bartender made up. Tastes fucking awesome though,” said Dean, moving his hand over yours to help get the cap off from where he’d twisted it back on too hard. You took a long few gulps, the drink tasting a bit like some sugary sports thing before Dean’s hand was pulling it away. “Woah, slow down. This stuff will mess you up.”

“It’s nothing,” you said, bumping his arm playfully and already feeling your balance go a little off. “Maybe not.”

“This’ll sober you up,” said Dean, one of his large hands on your back and pushing you in.

“Dean!” you shouted when you popped back up. The water wasn’t cold but the shock to your system surprised you and Dean looked absolutely smug.

“Runt, you should be more careful,” said Dean, taking a sip and moving the bottle away. You swam over in front of him, looking up and noticing just how green those eyes really were. Again, the two of you were staring and no one was saying a thing about how no one was around. It wasn’t long before one of you needed to break the silence and your hands shot up to wrap around his wrist.

“Won’t you join me Dean?” you asked, pulling hard, using your feet on the pools edge to get him in, the force of it surprising Dean as he crashed into the water beside you.

“You little shit,” said Dean, grabbing you by the waist, picking you up out of the water and tossing you back in.

You squealed and giggled as you took turns splashing and playing until you were just floating around on your backs in the shallow end.

“Hey Dean?” you asked, standing up and wading over to the pools edge. You took a sip of the nearly empty bottle you and Dean had been sharing for the past few hours. You heard him hum as you handed it over. “What’s your type?”

“My type?” he asked. “Like in women?”

“Yeah,” you said. “You more of a preppy Angie or stuck up Sara or sweet girl Holly type.”

“I’m more of a runt type,” said Dean with a half-drunk smirk.

“Seriously, what gets Dean Winchester going? You said you’ve had plenty of one night stands,” you said, floating around and bumping your head into his chest. He wrapped an arm around your waist from where he sat on the stairs, keeping you from wandering off.

“One night stands are about sex. That doesn’t mean that’s my type,” said Dean, looking down at you.

“It kind of does. Let me guess, tall-”

“Hookups are about sex, just feeling good in the moment. You always feel shitty in the morning when you do that awkward goodbye. It’s not what I’m looking for in a person,” said Dean.

“What are you looking for then?” you asked, rolling in the water, his arm staying around you as you took a seat on his lap. 

Dean didn’t answer the question. His eyes were on your lips, your tongue instinctively jutting out to lick them. 

“Just...someone good,” said Dean, the arm lazily around you giving you a push closer, smashing your chest against his. 

“That’s good,” you said, voice raspy, your head tilted up, gaze falling on the pink lush lips right there.

“Someone,” said Dean, his head tilting down, his face so close you saw the freckles that adorned it.

“Someone good,” you whispered, sliding your hand around his back, wrapping your fingers around the solid flesh.

“Someone like...” said Dean so quiet you almost didn’t hear. 

“De,” you said, feeling your breath mingle together as your heads started moving.

“Y/N,” he said, cupping your cheek. Then your lips were touching, opening each other up, not dirty but not slow. It was starved, someone needing this but neither of you knowing who exactly. Dean tasted like the drink you’d been sharing but he was methodical, letting you get at him only as much as you were allowing him access to you.

You dipped your fingers into his wet hair, Dean’s hand moving to the back of your head. Your mouth opened a little wider, backing off with your movements on him, feeling Dean do the same. He didn’t want to take control, no one did it seemed like. You knew you were only doing this because you were drunk, because he was drunk and you’d both had long days without the other to lean on.

Why the fuck was that even a thing? Five days ago Dean was a complete stranger and yet here you were, turning to him for some sort of unspoken comfort throughout this whole trip. The fake boyfriend was the one you felt closest to out of them all.

“Might want to take it up to the room kids if it’s gonna get anymore heated than that,” said a voice you knew all too well.

“Dad, go away,” you said, pulling away from Dean and standing. You stepped out into the cool night air and grabbed a towel.

“Just be glad your mother didn’t see that,” he said, waving you off. “Night Dean.”

“Goodnight Matt,” said Dean with a wince. He waited until your father had walked away before stepping out of the pool. You took a few steps from him as he pulled a towel on himself. 

“Busy day tomorrow,” you said, shivering a little, avoiding Dean’s gaze.

“We should get some sleep and try to sober up,” said Dean with a nod. He kept a slight distance as you walked back up to your room, catching a few smirks from people in the halls. Well apparently you’d provided some entertainment for the night.

By the time you were done with fast showers to warm up and in bed, you felt worse than you had all trip. Dean didn’t say goodnight and you didn’t say it back. His body was too tense behind you to be asleep. 

“Pretend it never happened,” you said in the darkness. Dean grunted.

“Agreed.”

A/N: Read the last part here!

@anokhi07 @xxwinchester-22xx @charliebradbury1104 @everyday-supernatural-af @squirels-angels-and-moose @youwerelikeadream @drugpug @darkx143 @kristaparadowski @tom-is-in-my-tardis @tanithlowisabamf @smoothdogsgirl @dancingalone21 @ktrivia @demonic-meatball  @oaisara @feelmyroarrrr  @illisea @cojootromuelle @gallifreyansass @fangirl1802 @angelwingsandsupernaturalthings @itstheprincess @casgetoutofmydiddlydarnass @mogaruke @secretlyfurrydragon @perpetualabsurdity @ria132love @heycassbutt-67 @aingealcethlenn @docharleythegeekqueen  @missmotherhen @smacklesandstretch67 @ceeceewinchester  @tumblinwith-me @acreativelydifferentlove @lean-mean-sam-and-dean @blueskybirdy @my-blogging-skills-are-rusty @sydneymarie101195 @nlsupernatural @missmotherhen @smacklesandstretch67 @donnanoblerocks @wackiekebab @spn-4-eva @georgialouisea @captainradicalpassion @benjerry707 @a-pirates-princess @tiffanycaruso @trashforwinchesters @make-the-clock-reverse @bleulady01 @nerdwholikesword @turnoftherogue @mortallymagicalobject @under-general-asthetics @maui137 @assbutt-fan @poukothenerd @squirrellover1967 @storyofawinchester @impalalalala @prettyboy-spn @radaknik @sandlee44

[jwslw]

Animorph d20 Modern part2 the Yeerks

I made the Iskoort plants based on an off hand comment from a Reddit forum on how ethical the choice to create them actually was

Yeerk

"Yeerks are parasites. A Yeerk enters a host through the ear canal, flattens itself out on the brain, and takes over completely. The host creature can't scratch an itch unless the Yeerk wants it to. We call a being who has been taken over that way a Controller. You must be thinking the Yeerks are pure evil. But let me tell you what it's like to be a Yeerk who isn't in a host. Yeerks are basically gray slugs. No hands, no legs, no eyes, no ears. If a Yeerk wants to be free, free to really move, free to see the beauty of the world around it, free to hear music or even the sound of rain on leaves, if a Yeerk wants that, it has to have a host. If a Yeerk wants to be free, it has to make another living creature a slave. Not an easy choice, is it?"―Cassie

Species Traits

Creature Type (Ex): Yeerks are considered Outsiders with the Native and Aquatic subtypes.

Blindsight (Ex): Yeerk are blind but can ascertain all creatures and objects within 120 feet by non-visual means, while completely submerged in water or Yeerk pool liquid. Beyond that range or when not submerged, all targets have total concealment with respect to the Yeerk.

Kandrona Dependance (Ex): Yeerks do not require normal sustenance, how ever they must absorb Kandrona radiation from their native star (or suitable artificial source), this radiation must be filtered through a Yeerk Pool (a liquid substance with a similar viscosity and color to syrup), If a Yeerk does not spend at least 1 hour in a Yeerk pool every 72 hours they will begin tosuffer the normal effects of starvation and eventually die.  A dead Yeerk will be expelled if currently possessing a host.

Abnormal Weakness (Ex):  Maple or Ginger Instant Oatmeal can some how simulate the effects of Kandrona radiation when a Yeerk is possessing a host, however, consuming Plain Instant oatmeal comes with a High addiction chance, and prolonged consumption will cause the Yeerk to permanently fuse with the host's brain, dealing 2d6 points of Intelligence drain to the Yeerk.

Host (Su): If it succeeds at a melee touch attack roll against a restrained or willing living creature at least one size category larger than the Yeerk (and with a minimum Intelligence of 2), it can enter the creature’s body through an exposed orifice (usually the ears). The target gets a Will save (DC 10 + Yeerk's Hit Dice + its Charisma modifier) to keep the Yeerk from entering and taking control of its body. If the save fails or the potential host chooses to willingly fail the save, the Yeerk seizes control of the creature’s body. A remove curse spell can expel a Yeerk from a creature’s body, but the caster must succeed at a level check (1d20 + caster level) or the spell fails (DC 10 + Yeerk's Hit Dice + its Charisma modifier). If the host drops to 0 or fewer hit points, the Yeer inside will typically “emerge” from the host ears, and attempt to flee if possible. While possessing a creature, Yeerks cannot be physically attacked directly, however they are still subject to effects such as falling damage and some FX effects.  If a Yeerk takes a non-sentient (Int 2) Host, it must make a Will save each day it remains in the host or suffer 1d4 points of temporary cha damage, if the Yeerks Cha is reduced to 0 it is expelled from the host, the Charisma damage will only restore at the normal rate if it takes a sentient host.

Combined Challenge Rating: The Challenge Rating of a Yeerk with a host is equal to the host’s Challenge Rating +1.

Host Protection (Ex): An attached Yeerk uses its host’s base saving throw bonuses if they’re better than its own. Effects that target Outsiders can’t affect a Yeerk possessing a non-outsider host.

Immunities: Yeerks are immune to mind-influencing effects. This ability is conferred upon the puppeteer’s host as well.

Resistance to Massive Damage(Ex): Like Vermin Yeerk gain a +5 species bonus on Fortitude saves to negate the effects of massive damage. This ability does not benefit the host.

Shared abilities: The Yeerk retains its skills and feats when it takes a host (Except Hide and Swim), and also has access to all  Skills, Feats, Special Qualities and Talents available to the host.  If both the Yeerk and Host share a skill, the Yeerk may use which ever skill has the higher value with a +2 circumstance bonus.

Typical Yeerk CR. Tiny Outsider (Aquatic, Native) HD:3d8-9.HP4. Mas5. Init:+4. Spd: 5ft, swim20ft. Defense:17, Touch16, FF13(+2size, +4dex,+1Nat). Bab+3. Grapl-8. Atk/Full Atk:+2melee touch(None, initiates Host). FS:2.5ftx2.5ft. R:0ft. SQ: Outsider, Aquatic, Blindsight, Kandrona Dependance, Abnormal Weakness, Host, Host Protection, Immunities, Resistance to Massive Damage, Shared abilities. AL:.Sv Frt+0,Ref+7,Wil+3. AP:0. Rep+0. Str5, Dex18, Con5, Int14, Wis11, Cha14.

Skills: Bluff+7, Drive+9, Hide+12*, Intimidate+7, Listen+2, Pilot+9, Read/Write/Speak (Yeerk), Sense Motive+5, Spot+2, Swim+5*

Feats: Alertness, Simple Weapons Proficiency

Advancement: None

*Does not benefit from Shared abilities

Gedd

"Over time, the Gedds evolved. They were a sort of... like a monkey, I suppose. We were in the Gedds till the Andalites first came. Some of our people still have nothing better than Gedds for hosts."―Temrash 114 to Jake

Species Traits

Humanoid type: Gedds are considered humanoids with the Gedd subtype.

Bumbling (Ex): Gedds suffer a -2 species penalties to all Strength and dexterity based skills.

Gedd CR1/2. Small Humanoid (Gedd) HD:2d8. HP9. Mas11. Init:+2. Spd 20ft. Defense:15, Touch13,FF13(+1size, +2dex,+2Nat). Bab+1. Grapl-4. Atk/Full Atk:+melee(1d3-1 bite) or +ranged (1d4-1 RI;10ft, thrown rock). FS:5ftx5ft. R:5ft. SQ: Bumbling. AL: Tribe or Yeerk Empire. Sv Frt+0, Ref+2,Wil+3. AP. Rep+.Str9, Dex14, Con11, Int6, Wis7, Cha6.

Skills: Climb-2, Hide+4, Listen+0, Speak (tribal dialect), Spot+0.

Feats: Simple Weapons Proficiency, Weapon Focus (Bite)

Possessions: None

Advancement 3-4HD (Small)

Vanarx

"Where the Andalite head had been, there was now a long, thick tube. There was an opening like some horrible mouth at the end of the tube. The thing was purple, but translucent. You could almost see through it, although I wasn't sure if that was because it was a hologram, or if the animal itself was that way. The hologram Visser lowered the tube-mouth toward Chapman's head. The mouth opened, revealing hundreds, maybe thousands, of tiny suckers, each dripping slime."―Rachel

Species Traits

Magical Beast (Ex): Vanarx have all traits common to magical beast.

Darkvision: Vanarx have Darkvision out to a range of 60ft

Scent (Ex): This ability allows a Vanarx to detect approaching enemies, sniff out hidden foes, and track by sense of smell.  It can also identify a Yeerk controller within 30ft.

Improved Grab (Ex): To use this ability, a Vanarx must hit an opponent of its size or smaller with both claw attacks. If it gets a hold, it may initiate a grapple attempt as a free action. If the grapple check succeeds it will attempt to draw the Yeerk out of a target on the next round

Feed (Su): A Vanarx that begins the turn with a grappled Yeerk controller, it may attempt to draw out the Yeerk and devour it as a full round action.  The Vanarx makes a Grapple check opposed by the Yeerk's Will save, if the save fails, the Yeerk is drawn out and consumed by the Vanarx, if the Will save succeeds the Yerk may make a grapple attempt, on a success break free, on a failure, they are still grappled and the Vanarx can attempt to draw out the Yeerk again on the next round.

Vanarx CR3. Medium Magical Beast HD:3d10+9. HP25. Mas17. Init:+2. Spd 60ft. Defense:,Touch,FF(+2dex,+5Nat). Bab+3. Grapl+7. Atk:+7melee(1d3+4 claw). Full Atk:+2melee(1d3+4, 2 claws). FS:5ftx5ft. R:5ft. SQ: Magical Beast traits, Scent, Improved Grab, Feed. AL: None or Pack. Sv Frt+6, Ref+5,Wil+2. AP: N/A. Rep+0. Str19, Dex15, Con17, Int2, Wis12, Cha10.

Skills: Hide+11, Jump+13, Listen+11, Spot+11, Survival+9.

Feats: None

Advancement: 5-8HD(large), 9-12HD(huge)

Iskoort

"The Isk were true symbiotes. The Isk cannot live without the Yoort. And to ensure that this symbiosis would be real, the Yoort, too, were modified. Now Yoort cannot live without Isk and Isk cannot live without Yoort. They are one creature with two parts." "Oh, my God. Of course. It's the way. The only way. Parasite becomes symbiote. No more infestation. They create the next step in their own evolution and become true symbiotes." "No more war. No more need to conquer new species, to infest and enslave." "The Yeerksdon't know about this. Even the Yeerks who want peace cannot imagine a way out, a way to end the cycle of conquest.""These Yoort could be related to the Yeerks. They may be the same species, somehow separated long ago, perhaps carried from the Yeerk home worldby some forgotten race."―Guide, Cassie, Erek King and Ax

Culture

The Iskoort are a strange, capitalistic race that deal in a variety of goods in services. To manage all these aspects of trade, they are divided into castes which are organized into guilds, each created to monitor and handle a specific service.

Guild of Traders

Criminal Guild

Warmaker Guild

Servant Guild

Shopper Guild

Worker Guild

News, Gossip, and Speculation Guild

Superstition and Magic Guild

Species Traits

Plant Type: Iskoorts have all traits common to plants.

Low-light vision (Ex): Iskoort can see twice as far as humans in poor light conditions

Bonus Feats: An Iskoort's bonus Hit dice grant it feats like an Outsider

Skills: An Iskoort's bonus Hit dice grant it Skill points like an Outsider

Kandrona Dependance (Ex): Like their probable Yeerk cousins, every 72 hours a Iskoort must seperate into its component Isk and Yoort parts so that the Yoort may absorb Kandrona radiation, while separated the Isk loses access to all skills and feats and its mental abilities change to (Int---, Wis11, Cha1), While outside of its assigned Isk, a Yoort is statistically identical to a Yeerk.  If prevented from absorbing Kandrona radiation for more than 72 hours, a Yoort will begin starving and eventually die, if a Isk remains separated from a Yoort for more than 24 hours it will suffer 1 point of Con damage every hour until it is re connected or reduced to 0 Con (at which point it dies).

Iskoort CR6. Medium Plant HD:5d8+15. HP37. Mas16. Init:-1. Spd 20ft. Defense:19, Touch9, FF19(-1dex,+10Nat). Bab+3. Grapl+7. Atk: +7melee(1d6+4 slam) or +2ranged. Full Atk:+1melee(1d6+4, 2 slams). FS:5ftx5ft. R:5ft. SQ: Plant traits, Low-light vision, Kandrona Dependance. AL: Yoort Empire. Sv Frt+7, Ref+0, Wil+1. AP: N/A. Rep+0. Str18, Dex9, Con16,  Int14, Wis11, Cha14.

Skills: Bluff+7, Drive+4, Hide+4, Intimidate+7, Listen+7, Pilot+4, Read/Write/Speak (Yoort), Sense Motive+5, Spot+7, Swim+9

Feats: Alertness, Simple Weapons Proficiency

Possessions: Various gear and personal possessions.

Advancement: By Character class

[kristiefromthe814]

My Journey on Becoming an IronWoman

In September 2016, I took part in the AC 70.3 as a member of a relay team.    I did the bike portion of the relay and to be honest, I really didn’t train that much due to timing (I took over someone’s bib in mid-August); but I did manage to come in at my goal time of 3:30.   As I was waiting for my runner to cross the finish line, I saw a lot of athletes crossing the finish line with so much emotion on their faces that I thought “I could do this.”    After the race, I really didn’t give it much thought again until the spring when I was training for the Pittsburgh Half Marathon.   My goal was to finish the Pittsburgh Half Marathon healthy and if I did that I would sign up for the AC 70.3.   Outside of my arthritis in my hip flaring up every now and again, I finished healthy and injury free.   

Before officially signing up for the race, I checked with my boyfriend at the time to make sure he was supportive of this journey and he was.   I also reached out to some MHWTC members who did the AC 70.3 in 2016 to understand how they trained for the program.   Did they have a coach?  Did they follow a plan on-line?  I wanted to understand what resources previous athletes used to determine what the best approach would be for me.   Based upon some recommendations from the MHWTC, I reached out to Gretchen Cooney founder of Bucket List Training.  After speaking with Gretchen, on Mother’s Day of all days, I knew she was someone that I wanted to partner with on this journey and that her methods would hold me accountable to the training program.   I was checking in with an actual person and not just checking the box on some on-line tool.   I know myself, and I know that I need that level of accountability.  

About two weeks after speaking with Gretchen, my world turned upside.   First, I had some orthodontia work done that really impacted my ability to eat – I was basically surviving on smoothies and applesauce.   Second, my relationship with my boyfriend of nine months was falling apart very quickly and ultimately ended on Memorial Day.  Looking back 4 months later, getting out of the relationship, which at times was very unsupportive and toxic, was the best thing that could have happened.   Enough about that, let’s get back to my journey.   The break-up further impacted my desire to eat.   All in all in about 2 weeks, I lost about 10 pounds.  This was weight that I really didn’t need to lose.   On top of all that, I was very unhappy with my job and in the final stages of interviewing for my current employer.  I had hit rock bottom emotionally and didn’t know how to get myself out of this down spiral.    With the love and support of my friends, I reached out to my family doctor who re-prescribed anti-anxiety medication.  I also reached out to a therapist so I could begin working on myself.   I also landed my awesome new job – I am finally living and working in Philadelphia (hello, work-life balance)!   During this entire time, I was in communication with Gretchen, who was so supportive and helped me to hit the reset button a few times.   Why is all of this important for me to write about?   It’s important because I could have easily thrown in the towel and walked away from my AC 70.3 training.    It took me until end of June/early July to really get my shit together and hit my groove with my training – I was just a little late to the training party. 

In starting my new job, I had to find a new place to swim.   I lucked out because within my office building there is an AMAZING gym on the 28th floor that has an indoor pool.  SCORE!    While it is a little pricy, it was no brainer to join due to the shear convenience that it provided.    I would have no excuse not to go to the gym.    For the most part, I followed the training plan that Gretchen set for me.   I did almost all of my swim training and bike rides in the gym.   I did a few open water swims in Medford, NJ (thank you, Denise for introducing me to Lake Ockanickon).   For me, living in the city does not equal convenience or safety for biking, so outside of 1 bike ride, yes 1 bike ride, all of my training rides were done on a Peloton bike.   Even though I was training indoors, I followed my nutrition and hydration plan.   As for my long runs, I really like running at the John Heinz Wildlife Refuge.  It is a really peaceful setting, surrounded by water, and half of it is in the shade which is clutch when training in the dog days of summer.   I had to learn to get comfortable carrying water when I ran as there is no one handing out cups of water at the Wildlife Refuge.   I also got comfortable carrying and eating my salt stick tablets while running.   For both biking and running, I found that putting them into a zip lock and placing into my cleavage was the best (and safest) place for me to keep it.  The thought of putting them in the back pocket of my tri top did not seem like a great (or safe) option for the bike as I am not also the most graceful person on the bike.  

Did I get all of the workouts that Gretchen planned for me?   No, but I probably got in about 85% of them.   There were weeks in which it just didn’t work with my schedule and there were times when I wanted to spend time with my friends than do a brick workout.    With Gretchen and my therapist’s help, I learned not to beat myself up for missing a workout or two.

Going into the week of the AC 70.3, I was out of town on business so all of my last minute prep work was done the week before.  My bike was tuned up and picked up before I left on my work trip.    I was pretty calm and relaxed that week.   I tried to stay away from social media as much as possible.   I didn’t want to get caught up in someone else’s feelings/nerves.    I had reviewed the athlete’s guide a couple of times and Gretchen clarified a few points for me.    I was feeling pretty confident and relaxed going into race weekend.    I had a small group of family and friends coming to AC to support me.   I had customized support crew shirts made for them and put together swag bags with cowbells and other “survival gear”.  

Bike racking was pretty standard and easy.   The athlete briefing was informative.  I did have one question which the head referee clarified for me.  And most importantly, I bought some really cool swag.   Being superstitious I did not buy anything that said finisher.   I didn’t want to jinx myself.      I checked into my hotel and started to get myself organized for the morning.   I mixed my Gatorade endurance water bottles, double and triple checked my transition bag, packed my morning bag, and laid out my tri kit.   After all of that, I was still feeling relaxed that I took a nap!   I had a great solo dinner with a little wine at Angelo’s Fairmont Tavern.  I was in bed by 9 and asleep by 10.    When the alarm went off around 4:30, I was feeling pretty good.   Normally, on race morning my stomach is flip flopping and I’m really not interested in eating breakfast; but not today.    I had my coffee and my whole grain bagel with peanut butter.   I left the hotel around 5:15 and ended up taking another female athlete over to Bader Field.  She was going to take a cab which didn’t seem to make sense since we were going to the same place and I figured I could use the extra good karma.   

I set-up my transition area and put air in my bike tires.   I had plenty of time before transition closed, so I walked my air pump back to my car (score to Delmo for numbering the parking rows).   As I was coming back into transition, I ran into Gretchen who I hadn’t seen since my swim coaching session in June.    I was so happy to see her!    She did a quick check-in with me – I was still feeling very calm, relaxed, and excited.   She gave me a pep talk and reminded me that this was my race and gave me a hug.    Back at my transition spot, I did one final check of all of my gear, grabbed my wetsuit, and went to stand in the long porta-potty line.   Of course, I no sooner stuff myself into my wetsuit and I had to go to the bathroom again.   Thank you, nervous bladder. 

It was a self-seeded wave swim start.    Per Gretchen’s pacing plan, I seeded myself with the 46-55 minute swimmers.    I quickly began chatting with my new friends.    The race started around 6:50A and I didn’t get into water until close to 8A.   I still hadn’t moved from my original standing spot when the first swimmers came out of the water!   I was still waiting to get into the water when the announcer said that the first biker was at mile 10!  As I was going into the swim start shot, I saw my very good friends and support crew member, Peggy.    We had a quick hug and a photo opt.   Peggy was more emotional than I was!  LOL   

I remembered to hit the start button my watch as I jumped into the water.     The water was oh so salty and crowded.   I quickly got into my rhythm and was repeating my mantra of “Aruba, Aruba” over and over in my head.    Now you’re probably scratching your head over this Aruba thing.   I was in Aruba about 2 weeks before the AC 70.3 and swam every day in the Caribbean.   I had some days in which I dealt with some strong currents, so my thought process was to repeat “Aruba, Aruba” in my head to help trigger the muscle memory and help with the grossness of the bay.     A couple of things about the swim:

Most men are just rude swimmers and will continue to swim over top of you even after you stop to let them pass you several times.    It’s funny that the two people that kept running into me are in my photos as I’m getting into the water and getting out so I’ve pointed them out as my swim nemeses’.  

I’m hoping it was a person that touched my side boob and it wasn’t a creature of the sea

I went off-course.  I don’t know my how much because my watch didn’t track the swim correctly but it was enough that a lifeguard had to re-direct me.  

Holy current, Batman!    I never thought I was going to make it from Buoy 5 to Buoy 6.   I really kicked up the “Aruba, Aruba” mantra.

Wetsuit strippers are awesome!

The AC fire truck is shower is amazing.    It gets all of the sand and salt – especially the sand beard – off before going out on the bike.   No female wants a sand beard in her race photos.  

Rinsing out your mouth at transition is a must.  

I finished the swim in 51:40.

Now onto the bike portion of the race.    For me the bike was pretty uneventful.   I did have some hamstring cramping during the first loop.   I didn’t panic but continued to drink my Gatorade endurance and took my salt stick tablets.   Eventually the cramping went away.  There were some spots on the race course, especially on the AC Expressway, where it did get a little bit crowded and people went whizzing past me on their bikes.    If you are not used to riding your bike in NJ than you will probably think the road conditions were terrible.   I didn’t think the roads where that bad.   Delmo did a nice job of marking the bumps and cracks in the road.   I did see quite a few people with tire issues; thankfully, I was not one of them.   I thought there were plenty of aid stations along the way and I made sure to take a new bottle of Gatorade endurance at each aid station.    I was also eating a Honey Stinger waffle about every 10 miles or so.    As I was coming back into the transition area, my support crew family members where there with their cowbells ringing and cheering for me!  I was so excited to see them as I really didn’t know where my support crew was going to be on the race course.   I also got a few shot outs from a few MHWTC members.   I finished the bike in 3:43 – I was hoping for a repeat performance of 3:30 on the bike.

Transition number 2 went pretty well although I found out later that I grabbed an extra bag of gel chomps instead of a new bag of salt stick tablets.   I was a little slower than I had been at other races but I was OK with it.   This wasn’t like any other race.  Almost immediately on the run course there is an aide station.   I took some aide and used the porta –potty.  Eventually during the race you are going to need to use the bathroom especially if you hydrating properly.  

Running on Badder field sucks!  It’s boring and it sucks even more when it’s sunny, you’ve just ridden your bike for 56 miles, and your legs feel like lead (now I know why Gretchen put in some many brick workouts).  My heart was pumping hard from the excitement of seeing my family and being 1 event away from being an IronWoman; but my stomach wasn’t feeling so great.    I seriously thought I was going to be sick.    I had to pull myself together and do it quick.    I really didn’t want to have to walk but I knew that was the only way to bring my heart rate down and try to get my stomach settled.    I don’t always handle the heat so well, so I believe my stomach issues were strictly related to the heat.   I walked about ½ mile to a mile and got myself pulled back together and left Badder Field running.   As I was leaving Badder Field, the sun went in and stayed in for almost the remainder of the race.    It was probably at least 5 degrees cooler on the boards.    I took aide at every aide station.  I also took some wet sponges to help cool off and I took coke at the last 2 stations.    I lucked out as there was a sponsor handing out salt stick as soon as we got on the boardwalk.   I happily took some from the kind person handing it out.   Instead of it being in a tablet form, like I was accustomed to, it was salt that you had to pour onto your hand and lick – kinda like what you would do with a tequila shot.     I embraced the crowd on the boards.  I shouted out to my fellow MHWTC members who I passed along the way.  I said good morning or thank you to the fellow spectators.   I also tried to keep pace with a younger female athlete in front of me.   Not to brag or anything, but I did eventually pass her – go me!  J   Around mile 8, I saw my support crew friend, Peggy.    As I passed her, I heard her say to the person next to her, that she can’t believe that I’m still smiling.   Sure, I could have been grimacing in pain or gotten into my head that this sucks or I’m tired; but I didn’t and I wasn’t feeling that way.   I was actually having fun!   Going behind Boardwalk Hall and hearing the celebration was very bittersweet.    I was excited for those that were finishing but I still had 4 miles to go.    I saw another friend and support crew member, Denise around the pier at Cesar’s.   She asked I wanted her company for a few miles.   That was super thoughtful of her.   I politely told her no, I had gotten myself this far and that I wanted to bring myself home to the finish line.   I did end up walking again at the aide station that was located at the turnaround point.   I was 11 miles in and thought I earned this little walk.   Once I passed the aide station, I turned the jets back on and towards the finish line I went.   Somehow, my pace picked up.   I think it was the coke that I drank kicking in.   As I came down the finishers shoot, I had a little extra pep in my step, a huge smile on my face, and my arms pumping in the air – I had done it!   I finished the half marathon (after swimming 1.2 miles and biking 56 miles) in 2:33.  

I am an IronWoman!   I came in within my target finish time that Gretchen set for me.  I finished in 7:15. I finished strong and injury free!    A fellow MHWTC member gave me my finisher’s medal and I quickly found my family and friends.    There were so much emotion that I felt – I even cried a little as I was hugging my family.   Overall, I felt great after the race.  I had some soreness in my legs and my upper back was tight.    I missed not seeing Gretchen after the race to thank her in person for everything that she did for me; but I got caught up in celebrating with my friends and family.

This was a journey that I pretty much did on my own.  Yes, I had Gretchen, my friends, and my family supporting me; but it was me doing all of the training runs and rides.  And yes, I had friends offer to go on rides and runs with me, but honestly this was something that I wanted to do by myself.   This was a very therapeutic journey as I heeled from my break-up and I learned a lot about myself.   Outside of doing more of the brick workouts that Gretchen gave me, I don’t think I would change much of my training plan.   The training does take a tool on your body so I made sure to get bi-weekly 90 minute massages to help me stay healthy.   I had one the Friday before the race so maybe that helped me to feel good post-race.   Will I do another 70.3?  I honestly don’t know.  I’m going to bask in the glow of this race before I make any decisions.