#I could be wrong but I don't remember Varric hinting that he was going to write about the Inquisition during the events of the game?

[nerdanel01]

Okay, so Agnes, Emmrich and the Veilfuard squad are now supposed to be helping with the unstable Veil down in the Neceopolis, right?

...

Have we considered what happens when Varric, inevitably, decides to visit the Necropolis and check up on their field work, discovers the Agnes/Emmrich unresolved tension and starts dropping hints that he'll feature their divorce drama IN HIS NEXT BOOK?

What would be Agnes, Emmrich and Johana's reactions to THAT, I wonder???

Have a great day 💚💀

Inquisitor + Rook, 600+ wc below the cut *very slightly spoilers for the unwritten conclusion of There Is Only Forward if that matters to anyone

It occurred to Agnes that this might be the last time she set foot in the Lighthouse. Ghilan’nain was once again imprisoned, Elgar’nan defeated. Though she had welcomed this conclusion—longed for it, even, in moments when she was not sure she would live to see it—she could not deny the fact that something about it made her sad. She had spent over two decades in the Grand Necropolis without making any real connections to her fellow Watchers, save of course Emmrich; in less than two years, she had become so attached to the other members of the Veilguard that the idea of them all going their separate ways was tugging terribly at her heartstrings. After they finished cleaning out the Lighthouse, packed their things and departed, Agnes was not sure she would ever see any of them again.

It was in this state of melancholy that former-Inquisitor Lavellan found her, sifting through the various personal effects strewn across the Lighthouse common room, sorting things into piles: a bottle of fine Antivan brandy that no doubt had come from Taash; drawings and schematics in Bellara’s hand of ancient elvhen artifacts; Davrin’s whittling knife and the not-quite-finished carving of Assan he’d been carefully chipping away at, night after night. So engrossed was Agnes in her task that she did not hear Thanduwen approach.

“I have something for you," she said, easing herself into the green, tufted sofa beside Agnes.

Agnes furrowed her brows, took the brown-paper-wrapped parcel out of Thanduwen’s hand. "How kind. And how… unexpected.” There was no animosity between her and Thanduwen, but they had not exactly become close.

“Well, I didn’t think Varric had told you,” Thanduwen said as she leaned back on the sofa, propping herself up on what remained of her left upper arm and draping the right casually across her lap. “I figured you ought to know, now that everything is over.”

What did this have to do with Varric? The furrow between Agnes’ brows only deepened as she slipped her fingers beneath the paper, tore the parchment away to reveal… a book. Varric’s latest publication, it seemed, from the way his name was stamped in gold-embossed letters on the book’s spine and the bottom of the front cover. Perhaps out of denial and disbelief, it took her a moment to recognize the black haired figure on the cover (the illustrator had taken liberties, made her much more buxom than she was in real life) and the silver-haired gentleman behind her, who was all-too-sensually sliding the sleeves of the woman’s blouse past her bare shoulders. The title on the cover, also embossed in gold:

Romancing Rook.

“Wendy,” Agnes began, fighting to keep her voice calm, “what the fuck is this?”

Thanduwen let out a little sigh. “Inevitable, I’m afraid. Varric did tell you he was working on it, didn’t he?”

“Varric says a lot of things,” Agnes said, through gritted teeth, opening the cover and flipping through the pages, “most of them lies. I didn’t think he was telling the truth, didn’t think he’d actually do it. He writes detective stories, adventure novels…” Her eyes went wide and her stomach dropped through the floor. “There’s smut in here!”

“But not falsehoods,” Thanduwen said, unhelpfully. “As far as I am aware, Varric did not write anything that your other companions would not confirm to be true. You were not particularly secretive about your affair. And based on what little time I spent in the Lighthouse, you weren’t exactly quiet about it, either.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Agnes said, with exaggerated sarcasm. “It didn’t occur to me at the time that anything Davrin might have overheard in the late hours of the night—“

“And often in the morning,” Thanduwen interjected. “And sometimes, time permitting, the afternoon as well.”

“—that does not mean I thought it was going to end up in mass-produced paperback!” Agnes slammed the book shut and set it down on the table, raising forefinger and thumb to pinch the bridge of her nose. It wasn’t even the smut that bothered her, really. It was the idea that this might turn her into more of a celebrity than she already was—and she did not care for what little notoriety she had already gained. Worse still if the book made her out to be some kind of sex symbol. “Were you secretive and quiet about it, when you were with Solas?”

“No,” Thanduwen said, with a chuckle. “But Skyhold was a lot bigger than the Lighthouse; I had a whole tower to myself. And thank the Creators, really—” she stopped, shook her head, corrected herself: “sorry, forgive me, old habit—because it was hard enough for Leliana to convince the rest of the Chantry to let me be her Left Hand, after everything that happened at the Exalted Council.” An amused smile played about her lips as she adde, “If there had been a scene of me pegging Solas in All This Shit Is Weird, I doubt even the Divine would have been able to redeem my reputation in the eyes of the Chantry.”

That was more information about Solas than Agnes had ever cared to know. She hunched over, propping her elbows on her knees, running her hands through her hair. “When I get my hands on that dwarf…”

"You will not lay a finger on him," Thanduwen replied, sweetly. “Not without going through me.” Despite the threat, still she reached out, offering Agnes a sympathetic pat on her back before she rose off the couch. “Anyway, share it with Emmrich. You may be upset about it, but I doubt he will be.”

That had her eyes flying open, her head snapping back up to look at Thanduwen. “What is that?” 

“Did I stutter?” Thanduwen replied, grin widening. “He had no problem sending you down to breakfast bowlegged more mornings than not, from what I hear. Somehow I think this might please him tremendously.” Tapping her fingers on the book cover, she concluded, “Chapter 14 is especially titillating. You can tell him to just start there.”

—---------

Johanna would read the whole thing in one sitting and then buy extra copies to leave around the Necropolis for the rest of the Mourn Watch to find. She would probably also write to Varric’s publisher to see if she was entitled to royalties because, quote, “I love them but those two are idiots and none of that shit would have happened without me.”