#I cannot wear my favorite winter fuzzy pjs because they feel uncomfortable when wet and dry slow

[kaiyonohime]

Didn’t kill my husband.

Very near thing, but I didn’t.

So yesterday I told my husband to watch the baby while I baked the cranberry pie I have been wanting to bake for the last month (and in my exhaustion addled state I put raisins in it too, for some damn reason).  This was an easy task.  They are in the living room, the living room is next to the kitchen, and the baby is sleeping.

When the baby wakes up they’ll need a bottle.  The bottle just needs to be warmed up.

I was wrong.

So the baby started screaming, as baby does when they wake up hungry.  0-world is ending screaming, I swear.  Poor thing, they didn’t wake up full because they didn’t eat in their sleep (though they have fallen asleep eating plenty of times).  Husband comes into the kitchen to pour the hot water for the bottle... and then stays.

He doesn’t take the bottle into the living room to warm up.  He just stays in the kitchen while the baby screams alone in the living room.  And then the baby goes silent.

I have to run out of the kitchen while halfway through chopping an apple to rub the baby’s chest because they were screaming so hard they couldn’t breathe in while screaming, and they had screamed themselves into a bloody nose.

All while my husband continues to still be in the kitchen.

The baby’s diaper has also exploded everywhere, meaning that baby had needed it changed at least once while I was in the kitchen.

My husband came into the living room a few minutes later with me rocking the baby and trying to soothe them, and just hands me the bottle and goes back to fucking around on his phone.

I lost it at him, and told him off, and his response?  Well he didn’t know any better, and he didn’t notice the diaper being an issue.

So I can’t leave the baby alone with him because the baby won’t really be looked after.  Their diaper won’t get changed, and they could die because of a screaming fit.  

Fucking hell.  I had wanted to start running again in the evenings, but now I can’t trust that I can take half an hour to myself while leaving the baby with him, so I’ll have to check my mother in laws schedule to see if she can watch the baby for half an hour in the evenings.  Because clearly her son can’t.

Oh, and on top of everything the air con downstairs doesn’t heat (hasn’t for two years, but me trying to get my husband to have it fixed has gone nowhere), and the kerosene heater is failing and keeps shutting off after ten minutes.  So I’ve pretty much abandoned the downstairs of the house because we’re getting snow this week.  Thankfully my mother in law stepped in on that and a repair guy is coming tomorrow, and if they can’t fix it (it’s an older air con, it may just be cheaper to replace it to be honest, and more cost effective in the long run), we’ll go and get a new kerosene heater.

Because no heat in main areas of a Japanese house sucks.  Japanese houses don’t have insulation and have single pane windows, it double sucks.

I’m so fucking tired.  I was busy holding the baby all day (it was bath day, baby is especially needy after a bath), I didn’t get lunch.  Or much of breakfast.  I ate two pieces of candy and downed a CC Lemon Big.  It’s been an entire fucking week and it’s only Monday.

And the hospital decided to schedule mine and the baby’s appointments on two different days rather than the same day, so I get to have that fun headache twice this week.

Things Japanese hospitals do not have: changing tables anywhere (literally, no changing tables, not even in the baby area), no water fountains, and a culture that views breastfeed as sexual and no way to heat up a bottle or a place to breastfeed in private.

It’s going to be the 2020 of weeks by the end this week, and I still have to bake a Christmas cake.  Thank fuck it’s tradition to just buy KFC for Christmas dinner.