#I can't drink coffee in a short period of time because it will dose me with a ton of caffeine at once

[glitxd-shenanigan]

Hey, if you follow my Warframe alt I'm sorry lol

Using Ekster as a muse is a good way for me to release caffeine so-

[vitamingummybear]

i think i'm a load for having epilepsy. i can't drive, can't drink alcohol. i depend on someone to take me everywhere, pills make me sleepy and i can't take coffee. everyone is worried about me when i am the only one in my body, and no one knows my body better than me. my family and friends are extremely worried about me and take too much care of me everywhere i go, anytime i go to a place or that i am with people. i can't do the things i want when i want to. i can't drive myself to the gym, i can't go running, i can't exercise alone and it's killing me. i can't get back home when i want because i have to go early, i can't go to clubs and if i do i have to wear two glasses and be uncomfortable all night. i have to wear glasses now and my sight is perfect. and the worst part is that i don't make money, my parents pay all for me right now, and depending on them to spend money for all of my meds makes me want so angry because i want to go to therapy, i have to go to the dietitian and to the traumatologist because i'm constipated and have knee and joint pain and omg an ed that no one fucking cares about. i don't want my parents to spend on that because they are already paying my neurologist and my education.

i want to be dependent and free, i want to make my own choices.

the worst part is that, yes i had three episodes in a short time of period but i am 100% sure it was because my boyfriend and i were smoking a pure THC vape, i was staring at my computer for 8 hours straight and came back home to look at more screens, and even when i was driving i kept looking at flashing lights from ambulances and police cars and i wasn't taking the right dose of my one pili that i was taking, basically i was not taking care of myself.

i have been drinking for years to get drunk (sometimes blacking out) and smoking weed and staying up late. now i al taking fucking different pills every day. i'm doing things right i am sure that i'm covered and safe but no one will believe me now, no one will give q shit that i feel this way.

i wish i could tell all of this to my doctor but guess what. my parents are so worried about the situation that both of them come with me to every appointment i have with my neurologist. so i can't tell him it was because i was smoking pure thc!!!! my parents will freak out, bc thats from the devil, and they'll think i smoke every day all day and that i am a drug addict.

i can't tell this to no one near me. and even tho i know that i am ok and that i can take my own choices, nobody lets me actually do it. i can't take it anymore.