#I can't believe it. I have NEVER slept in through a shift before

[bobomcfoe]

I SLEPT IN

[br0kenangel]

𓈒ㅤׂㅤ 𓇼 ࣪ 𝐌𝐲 𝐝♡ve 𓈒ㅤׂㅤ⭒⠀

Pairing: Unhinged Aegon x Therapist Reader part 1

Summary: You never thought Aegon be like this. You though that he's probably like all the other rich kids who are only upset because daddy didn't given them money. But you couldn't have been more wrong...

˚꒰♡꒱‧ Hi there! Before you read this, you should know that English is not my first language. Hope you enjoy!

PART 2, PART 3, PART 4

He hadn't said a word since entering the room, only slouched low in his chair, his bloodshot eyes tracing patterns in the ceiling like he was watching something she couldn’t see. His bleach-blonde hair was messy, like he hadn't bothered to run a comb through it in days, and the bags under his eyes suggested he hadn’t slept in even longer.

The silence was unnerving, and she hated it. The ticking clock in the corner of the room sounded like gunfire in the stillness. She cleared her throat and tried to start professionally. "Aegon," she began, her voice soft but steady, "how are you feeling today?"

He chuckled—a low, grating sound that didn’t reach his eyes. "How am I feeling?" he repeated, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "Isn't that a bit cliché? Isn’t that what all therapists ask? I’m not here for small talk, sweetheart."

The way he said sweetheart made her skin crawl. It wasn’t the word itself but the way it slithered off his tongue, sharp and mocking. She shifted in her seat, trying to maintain her calm. "I’m just trying to understand where you’re at. You don't have to say anything you don’t want to."

He smirked, a twisted, unsettling expression that seemed more like a grimace. "Oh, I bet you want to understand me. You think you're gonna fix me? Is that it? Make me better, turn me into a functioning little cog in this shitty world?"

There was an edge to his voice, something dangerous beneath the surface. His eyes were unfocused, distant, as though she wasn’t even there. Y/N felt a chill settle in her chest, but she pushed forward, reminding herself that this was just another patient. A deeply troubled one, yes, but still just a man. She was trained for this.

"I’m not here to fix you, Aegon," she replied carefully. "I’m here to listen and help if I can."

His head snapped toward her so quickly she flinched. He caught it, of course, and his grin widened, predatory now. "You’re scared of me, aren’t you?" he said softly, like he was sharing a secret. "Good. You should be."

Aegon leaned forward, his elbows resting on his knees, staring at her with intensity that made her skin prickle. "You ever felt like nothing matters, doc? Like every fucking thing is just… pointless? No matter how much you drink, snort, or fuck, it never fills that hole inside you. It just… eats at you, every second of every day, until you can't take it anymore."

His voice was a low growl now, rough around the edges, filled with bitterness. "That's what it’s like in here." He tapped the side of his head, his gaze boring into her, daring her to look away. "Rotten. Empty. Dead. I tried to end it once, you know. Got close, too. But they wouldn’t even let me do that right. My family sent me to you instead. So now here I am, playing the part. But let’s be real—you can't fix this."

There was a rawness to his words that cut through her usual defenses. Y/N felt herself teetering on the edge of something she didn’t want to fall into. His pain was palpable, but it wasn’t the pain of someone who wanted to be saved.

"You don't have to believe in this process," she finally said, her voice tight. "But it’s important that you give it a chance."

Aegon tilted his head, studying her like she was some puzzle he couldn’t quite figure out. His eyes were glassy, unfocused again, and his smile faltered, giving way to something deeper, more sinister. "You’re not like the others," he muttered, almost to himself. "Most of them are easy to read. But you… I can't quite tell if you’re really here to help or if you just like playing the part."

Her heart skipped a beat at his words. There was something unnervingly perceptive about him. He wasn’t just a lost soul spiraling into self-destruction—he was calculating, watching her reactions, testing her boundaries. And it was working. She didn’t like how vulnerable she felt under his gaze.

Y/N straightened in her chair, trying to regain control of the conversation. "I’m here to help, Aegon. That’s my job."

He scoffed, leaning back again, dismissive. "Help," he repeated bitterly. "You wanna help? You can't even help yourself."

His words hit harder than she expected, striking at something deep inside her, and for a moment, she faltered. She wasn’t prepared for how sharp he was, how quickly he cut through her professional veneer. There was something primal in the way he spoke, in the way he moved, that felt less like therapy and more like a predator playing with his prey.

"You look tired," he continued, eyes narrowing. "Overworked. You got that hollow look in your eyes, too. Like me. How long before you break, huh? How long before you’re the one on the other side of this desk?"

Her breath hitched slightly, and Aegon’s smile grew wider, more triumphant. He leaned in close, his voice a low whisper that sent chills down her spine. "Maybe we’re not so different after all, doc. Maybe you’re just as fucked up as I am."

Y/N’s hand trembled, and she clenched it into a fist, trying to steady herself. She needed to end this session—now. But she couldn’t show weakness. Not to him. "Our time is almost up," she said, her voice firmer than she felt. "We’ll continue this next week."

She checked the clock. He was due in ten minutes.

Her hand brushed the edge of her desk, fingers drumming a quiet, nervous rhythm. She told herself it would be fine. She had control. This was her space, her field. But the knot in her stomach tightened with every second that passed.

A knock on the door broke the silence. Her heart leapt in her chest.

"Come in" she called, trying to keep her voice steady.

The door swung open, and there he was, leaning casually against the frame, eyes half-lidded like he couldn't be bothered to care about anything. Aegon strolled into the room with an easy arrogance, tossing himself into the chair like he owned the place. He wore the same leather jacket from last week, cigarette burns dotting its sleeve, his jeans ripped and filthy. His disheveled blonde hair caught the afternoon light, giving him an almost angelic glow, which was disturbingly ironic.

"Doc" he greeted, his voice slick and lazy. "Miss me?"

Y/N forced herself to meet his gaze. "Aegon," she said calmly, ignoring his provocations. "How are you feeling today?"

He chuckled, a low sound that rumbled through the room. "Oh, I'm fantastic. Just spent the last few hours getting plastered. Wanna guess how much vodka it takes before you stop feeling like your head is caving in?"

She hesitated. "Did you... did you drink before coming here?"

Aegon gave her a crooked smile, his eyes gleaming with something dark. "Nah, don't worry, sweetheart. I'm sober enough to remember your name. For now."

He leaned forward in his seat, resting his elbows on his knees, eyes never leaving hers. "But seriously, let's cut the bullshit. You're not here to ask me how I'm doing. You're here to dissect me, right? Get inside my head. See what makes the fucked-up bitch tick."

Y/N's throat tightened at the way he said bitch-dripping with disdain, self-hatred. His family, the Targaryens, were a wealthy, powerful lineage, tied up politics and scandal. She'd heard the rumors: how Aegon was the black sheep, a public embarrassment, the one they all whispered about behind closed doors. It wasn't hard to see why.

"I'm here to help," she said, trying to regain control of the session. "But that only works if you're willing to engage with the process."

His smirk widened. "You think l'm not engaging? l'm sitting right here, aren't I?" He paused, his gaze growing more intense. "Unless what you really want is for me to spill my guts to you. You want to know what makes me tick, doc? Fine. Let me tell you."

There was something unsettling about the way he shifted in his chair, like a predator getting comfortable before striking. His smile faded, replaced with a cold, hollow expression that sent a shiver down her spine.

"I hate everything," he began, his voice flat, detached. "I hate waking up. I hate breathing. I hate the sound of my own fucking voice. I hate this-" He gestured around the room, his fingers trembling slightly."一all this therapy bullshit. I hate my family. I hate the way they look at me like l'm some broken toy they can't fix."

He leaned in closer, his voice dropping to a whisper. "But you know what I really hate? The fact that no matter what I do, nothing makes me feel alive. Drugs? Alcohol? Sex? It's just noise. All of it. And I'm so fucking tired of feeling empty."

His words hung in the air like smoke, choking the room. Y/N felt the urge to recoil, to put some distance between them, but she couldn't. There was something magnetic about him, a dark pull that made it hard to look away.

"You think I want to be here?" he continued, his eyes burning with intensity. "My family dragged me to this fucking place because I tried to put a bullet in my brain last month. They thought therapy would 'fix' me. But they don't get it. They never did."

He leaned back, letting out a bitter laugh. "But you know what's funny? Sitting here, looking at you, I almost want to believe it. l almost want to see if you can figure me out, doc. Maybe you'll crack the code."

His eyes bored into hers, and for a split second, Y/N swore she saw something vulnerable flicker behind the mask- something raw and desperate. But it was gone as quickly as it appeared, replaced by his usual cold sneer.

"You think you can handle that?" he asked softly. "Think you can fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed?"

Y/N's grip on her pen tightened. Her throat felt dry, her palms clammy. There was no easy answer to his question, no textbook response to the way he twisted everything around him into chaos. But she knew one thing-Aegon wasn't just here to be saved. He was here to test her, to see how far he could push before she cracked.

"l'm not here to fix you, Aegon,' she said, repeating her earlier sentiment. "But I am here to listen. To understand."

He snorted, shaking his head. "Listen to what? My sob story? Poor little rich boy, drinking and fucking his way through life, all because he's sad? You really think there's anything left to understand?"

Y/N met his gaze head-on, refusing to flinch. "I think there's more to you than what you're showing me."

Aegon went still, his smirk vanishing as his eyes locked onto hers. For a moment, it felt like the room shrank, the walls closing in, leaving just the two of them in an uncomfortable silence. He stared at her, unblinking, and she could feel the weight of his scrutiny, like he was peeling back layers she didn't even know existed.

"You really believe that?" he asked quietly, his voice soft for the first time since he walked in. "That there's something worth saving?"

Her chest tightened, but she nodded. "I do."

Aegon let out a shaky breath, his fingers curling into fists. His eyes darted to the floor, and for a split second, he looked vulnerable, lost, like a boy drowning in a sea of emotions he couldn't control.

But then the mask was back. The smirk. The mocking tone. "Well, doc" he said, standing up suddenly, towering over her. "I guess we'll see, won't we?"

He turned on his heel and strode toward the door, his movements confident and careless, as though he hadn't just let her glimpse the broken pieces hidden beneath the surface.

Just before he stepped out, he paused, glancing back at her. "I'll be seeing you again, doc. And maybe next time, we'll get to the fun stuff."

The door clicked shut behind him, leaving Y/N alone in the room with the heavy silence that always followed him. She let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding, her heart pounding in her chest.

There was something deeply unsettling about Aegon一something that made her feel like she was in way over her head.

The third session was different. The air in Y/N’s office felt heavier, thicker. She could sense it the moment Aegon walked in. His eyes, normally sharp with that mocking edge, were duller today. His movements more erratic. The usual arrogant saunter was replaced by something twitchy, unstable. He slouched into his chair, tapping his leg rapidly, the rhythm almost frantic.

His fingers moved to his mouth, picking at his nails, tearing at the skin until she saw faint streaks of red. He didn’t seem to notice. Or care.

“Good morning, Aegon,” Y/N began cautiously, watching him closely. “How are you today?”

He snorted but didn’t look at her, his eyes darting around the room like he was searching for something he’d never find. “How do you think I’m feeling?” he muttered, biting down hard on the side of his nail until it cracked and blood welled up.

Y/N felt her stomach twist, but she kept her voice steady. “It seems like you’re on edge today. Do you want to talk about it?”

He didn’t answer immediately. His leg tapped faster, his jaw tight. “Does it even fucking matter?” he muttered under his breath. His hands trembled slightly as he dug his nails into his palms, leaving angry red marks. "None of this shit matters. Not you, not me. It’s all just... noise."

She stayed silent, giving him space to speak, watching his body language as the tension in the room escalated. He was unraveling, fraying at the edges, and it was becoming harder to predict where he might break.

“I keep thinking about that night,” he said suddenly, his voice hollow. “That night I almost did it.”

He didn’t need to explain further; she knew what he meant. The night he tried to take his own life.

“I was this close, you know?” he continued, holding his fingers up to show just how narrow the gap was between life and death. “But then my fucking family showed up and ruined it. Dragged me out of my misery and threw me into this shitshow. Therapy, rehab, whatever else they think will fix me. But nothing’s going to fix me. I’m not broken. I’m just done.”

Y/N swallowed, choosing her words carefully. “Aegon, I know you’re in pain. But there are other ways to cope. You don’t have to do this alone.”

He snapped his gaze to hers, a sudden wildness flashing in his eyes. “You don’t get it, do you? None of this is about pain. It’s about being fucking empty. Do you know what that feels like? To be so hollow inside that no amount of drugs, booze, or people can fill it?”

She blinked, caught off guard by the rawness in his voice. “I don’t,” she admitted, her voice softer than she intended. “But I’m here to understand. If you’ll let me.”

Aegon’s laughter was bitter, almost manic. “Understand? You think you can understand me? No one understands. Everyone thinks I’m some tragic fucking mess just because I have money and a pretty face, but that’s why they keep coming back, isn’t it? They don’t care if I’m broken. They care because I’m rich, because I’m still good-looking enough for them to pretend for a night that I’m something more.”

He paused, his leg still bouncing, eyes narrowed and locked on hers with unsettling intensity. “Even you. You sit there, all composed and professional, pretending to care. But deep down, I know you don’t. You’re just waiting for your paycheck like the rest of them.”

Y/N frowned. “That’s not true, Aegon. I’m here because I want to help.”

He leaned forward abruptly, his eyes wild and feverish. “You don’t get it, do you? None of this matters! You can’t help me, no one can, and I’m so fucking tired of everyone pretending that you can!”

The energy in the room shifted abruptly. His voice rose, turning sharp and angry, his breathing quickening. She could see him unraveling, could feel the way his entire demeanor was changing—darker, more dangerous.

“I’m not some fucking experiment!” he screamed, his voice cracking as he stood up from his chair so suddenly that it toppled over. “You think you’re better than me, don’t you? Sitting there with your calm face, acting like you’re not fucking scared of me. But I can see it, I can feel it—”

“Aegon, calm down,” Y/N said, her heart racing, hands instinctively tightening around the arms of her chair. “I’m not trying to control you.”

But her words seemed to push him further over the edge. His face twisted with rage, and before she could react, he lunged toward her, grabbing her by the shoulders, his grip almost painful.

“You think you know me?” he shouted, his face inches from hers, tears welling in his eyes. “You think you can fix me? You think you can save me from this hell?”

His grip tightened, shaking her, but before Y/N could register her own fear, something inside her snapped—an instinct she hadn’t known she had. Instead of pulling away, instead of screaming or trying to push him off, she reached out and pulled him into an embrace.

Aegon froze.

She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tightly despite the tremor in her own hands, despite the rapid pounding of her heart. “Aegon,” she whispered, her voice steady even though she felt anything but. “It’s okay. You’re okay.”

For a moment, he stood there, tense and unresponsive. His body was rigid, his breathing erratic, and she could feel the anger vibrating through him, threatening to explode again. But then, slowly, something shifted. His hands, which had been gripping her shoulders so tightly, loosened. His body sagged against hers, like all the fight had drained out of him in one overwhelming rush.

“I’m not okay,” he whispered, his voice breaking. “I’m so fucked up, and I don’t know how to stop it.”

Y/N tightened her arms around him, feeling his hot, uneven breath against her neck. “You don’t have to stop it alone.”

He let out a choked sob, his body trembling against hers as he broke down, the tears he had been holding back spilling over. He clung to her like a lifeline, his face buried in her shoulder, his breath hitching with each quiet, painful sob.

“I don’t want to be like this,” he whispered, his voice hoarse and broken. “I don’t want to feel this way anymore.”

Y/N held him, her own emotions swirling inside her, a mixture of fear, pity, and something else she couldn’t quite name. She stroked his back gently, trying to soothe the storm inside him. “I know,” she whispered. “I know you don’t.”

Aegon’s sobs quieted after a while, his grip on her softening but never letting go completely. He pressed his face into her shoulder, his breathing still uneven, but calmer now. The anger and violence had passed, leaving only the raw, vulnerable boy beneath.

They stayed like that for what felt like hours—Aegon clinging to her, and Y/N holding him as if her arms were the only thing tethering him to the world.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, he pulled back slightly, just enough to look at her. His eyes were red and swollen, his face streaked with tears, and for the first time since they met, she saw him without the mask.

Aegon was broken, but not in the way he pretended to be. Not just a reckless addict or a wealthy, self-destructive mess. He was something else, something much more fragile than she had imagined.

And that scared her more than anything.

He swallowed hard, his voice a quiet rasp. “W-why did you do that?”

Y/N met his gaze, unsure how to answer. She didn’t know why. It was instinct, something she hadn’t planned, something that felt both right and terribly dangerous at the same time.

“Because I wanted to,” she said softly.

Aegon stared at her for a long moment, his eyes searching hers like he was trying to find something—some kind of answer, some kind of reassurance that she wouldn’t leave him like everyone else had.

Finally, he nodded, and without another word, he leaned back into her embrace, resting his head on her shoulder, his breathing evening out as they sat there, together in the quiet, broken pieces of their shared moment.

And for the first time, Y/N wasn’t sure if she was the one trying to save him—or if he was dragging her into the darkness with him.

The room was eerily silent when Aegon walked in this time. The familiar twitch in his leg was absent, the nervous energy that usually radiated off him replaced with something else—something that made Y/N’s skin prickle. His eyes were still as sharp as ever, but now they were focused. Too focused. He looked at her with an intensity that felt almost suffocating.

He sat down slowly, his movements no longer erratic but deliberate. He didn’t fidget, didn’t bite at his nails. Instead, he folded his hands neatly in his lap and leaned back in the chair, his eyes never leaving her face.

“Good morning, Aegon,” she greeted him cautiously, sensing the shift in his demeanor.

“Morning,” he replied, his voice smoother than she was used to. Calm, almost unnervingly so. He looked... composed. For the first time since they started these sessions, he didn’t seem like a bomb waiting to go off. But something about that felt even more dangerous.

“How are you feeling today?” she asked, trying to keep her voice steady.

He tilted his head slightly, his gaze still locked on hers. “Better,” he said softly. “Much better, actually.”

Y/N hesitated. “That’s good to hear. Do you want to talk about what’s been helping?”

Aegon smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ve found a new hobby,” he said, his voice almost too casual, like he was talking about something mundane. “Something to keep me... occupied.”

A ripple of unease washed over her. “What kind of hobby?”

Aegon nodded, his eyes gleaming with an odd sort of excitement. “I found this beautiful dove. Just… sitting there, all alone. She's perfect. White feathers, soft. You ever touch a dove before?”

“No,” Y/N said slowly, her stomach beginning to churn.

Aegon’s smile widened. “You should. They’re so fragile, you know? So delicate. It’s like… like holding something that could break if you squeeze too hard.” His fingers twitched, as if mimicking the act of squeezing. “I’ve been taking care of her. Watching her.”

Y/N nodded slowly, unsure where this was going but feeling an icy tendril of dread curl around her spine. “That sounds nice. Taking care of something can be a good way to—”

“I want to rip her wings off.”

Her breath caught in her throat, the casual cruelty in his tone sending a chill down her spine. Aegon’s expression hadn’t changed; he still wore that same unsettling smile.

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat. “What?”

His eyes were bright now, shining with an eerie intensity. “Yeah. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. About how beautiful she is, but how much better it would be if she couldn’t fly away. If I could keep her with me, forever. If she couldn’t go anywhere else, just… mine.”

Y/N felt the bile rising in her throat, but she swallowed it down, keeping her voice steady. “Aegon, that’s—”

“Isn’t that what love is?” he interrupted, his eyes wide, his expression so sincere, so disturbingly genuine. “You love something so much that you can’t stand the thought of it leaving. So you do whatever you have to, to make sure it stays. Even if that means taking something away. Like wings.”

“Aegon, that’s not—”

“But it makes sense, doesn’t it?” he continued, his voice rising slightly with excitement, as if he had stumbled upon some great revelation. “Why should something so beautiful get to leave? Why should she get to fly away and leave me behind? She doesn’t need wings. She just needs me.”

Y/N felt the room closing in around her, her heartbeat echoing in her ears. She had dealt with disturbed patients before, but this… this was different. Aegon wasn’t just unstable. He was dangerous. She could feel it in the air, in the way his gaze bore into her, in the way his words seemed to twist around her, suffocating her.

It had been two weeks since that conversation in her office, and Aegon had come to every session since. Something had shifted after that day—something subtle but unnerving.

The way he looked at her now, the way he lingered on her every movement, made Y/N feel more vulnerable than ever before.

“Morning, Aegon,” Y/N said, her voice steady but her pulse quickening slightly. She had grown used to reading him in subtle ways—the tension in his jaw, the way his fingers would twitch against his leg, and that obsessive stare. But today, it felt heavier.

“Morning sweetheart,” he replied smoothly, his voice quiet but deliberate.

Y/N tried to proceed with the session as usual, asking him questions, probing his thoughts, but his answers were vague, almost detached, as if he wasn’t really interested in discussing himself anymore. He wasn’t playing the part of the tragic, self-destructive mess. He was... different.

“You seem a little more composed today,” Y/N commented, keeping her tone neutral. “How are you feeling about everything? Still feeling as empty as before?”

Aegon’s lips twitched into a small smile, one that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Empty? No, not so much anymore.” His gaze was fixed on her in a way that made the room feel smaller. “I’ve been... paying attention to other things lately. Other people.”

Y/N’s heart skipped a beat. “Other people? What do you mean?”

He leaned back in his chair, his eyes still glued to hers, but his body language more relaxed than usual. “You know, the people around me. The ones who matter. The ones who actually care.”

There was an implication in his words that sent a shiver down her spine. “And who do you think cares, Aegon?”

His smile widened, but it was the kind of smile that felt wrong, too intimate. “You do.”

Y/N blinked, trying to maintain her composure. She had to remind herself that she was the professional here, that this was her job, and she couldn’t let him get under her skin. But the way he was looking at her made it hard to breathe.

“I’m here to help you, yes,” she replied calmly. “That’s what therapy is about.”

He tilted his head slightly, his eyes narrowing as if he were studying her. “That’s not what I mean.” His voice was soft, almost a whisper, but it was enough to make her pulse quicken again. “You care about me... in a different way.”

Y/N felt her skin prickle with unease. She forced herself to remain professional, to push through the growing discomfort. “Aegon, we’ve talked about this before. My role is to help you as your therapist. Nothing more.”

His smile didn’t falter. “You keep saying that, but we both know there’s more to it. I can see the way you look at me now. You’re not scared anymore. What you said. How you held me. I’ve been thinking about it a lot. You care.”

“I’m here to help,” she repeated firmly, though her voice wavered slightly.

Aegon didn’t say anything for a moment. He just watched her, his eyes tracking every movement, every flicker of emotion on her face. It was like he was dissecting her with his gaze, trying to pick her apart piece by piece.

Finally, he leaned forward slightly, his smile fading into something more serious. “You looked really good last night, by the way.”

Y/N’s breath hitched. “What?”

“In your pajamas,” he added, his voice casual, as if he were commenting on the weather. “The ones you wore when you made tea. Light blue, with the little lace trim. You really should wear those more often.”

For a moment, the world around her went silent. All she could hear was the sound of her own heartbeat thundering in her ears. Aegon was staring at her, unblinking, his expression disturbingly calm, like he had just complimented her on her shoes or her hair.

Her mind raced. How did he know? There was no way he could have seen her last night. Her apartment was on the third floor, and she lived alone. She had made tea before bed, just like every night, but how could he possibly know that?

“Aegon,” she began, her voice trembling despite her best efforts to keep it steady. “What... what do you mean?”

He just smiled, that same disturbing smile that never quite reached his eyes. “I just think you looked nice, that’s all.”

The room felt like it was closing in on her, her skin crawling with the weight of his words. Her mind reeled, her heart hammering in her chest. How did he know what I was wearing last night?

Her breath came in shallow gasps, the panic rising in her throat as she tried to process the implications. Had he been watching her? Was he following her outside of their sessions? The thought sent a wave of nausea through her.

“Aegon,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper. “What are you talking about?”

But before he could answer, the soft chime of the clock signaled the end of their session. Aegon stood up slowly, his movements deliberate, as if he had all the time in the world. He stretched, glancing at her with that same unsettling smile, and then made his way to the door.

“I guess we’ll have to pick this up next time,” he said casually, as if they had been discussing nothing more than the weather.

He paused at the door, turning back to look at her one last time, his eyes lingering on her with that same unnerving intensity. “See you soon, Y/N.”

And then he was gone, leaving Y/N alone in the room, her heart racing, her mind spinning with fear and uncertainty.

The door clicked shut behind him, and for a long moment, she couldn’t move. Couldn’t breathe. The air felt thick, suffocating, as the weight of his words sank in.

He was watching me.

@ 𝒃𝒓𝒐𝒌𝒆𝒏𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒍 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒. 𝒅𝒐𝒏'𝒕 𝒄𝒐𝒑𝒚, 𝒓𝒆𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒕 𝒐𝒓 𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒔𝒍𝒂𝒕𝒆 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒇 𝒎𝒚 𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒌𝒔 𝒉𝒆𝒓𝒆 𝒐𝒓 𝒂𝒏𝒚 𝒐𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒓 𝒘𝒆𝒃𝒔𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒔.

[star-eyed-angels]

Secrets and Sleep

bang chan x gn reader

fluff 1.6k

where you spill your heart out to your sleeping boyfriend.

AN: A small thing I started when I was sad that morphed into something more hope you like it.

______

It’s nearly 2 a.m. as you lay in bed, your boyfriend at your side. With Chan’s habit of working through the night in the studio, it’s rare you have him in bed with you before the sun is up. But tonight he’d come home earlier, wanting to spend a little more time with you to ease his stress. Tonight that meant cuddling in bed after a takeout dinner. 

Now you found yourself wide awake with a sleeping Chan next to you. His body is turned towards you as he sleeps on his side, pillow smushed against the side of his face. 

You brush the curly hair delicately out of his face, smiling softly when he shifts closer to you. You’ve always thought he looked so beautiful while he slept. Looking nothing but relaxed. Exuding pure warmth and comfort when he sleeps. You tuck your hands back under your cheek resting on them as you watch Chans even breathing. Your eyes trail over his features slowly, a small smile on your face as you watch him. The room is quiet as you feel your heart squeeze with the need to speak. 

“So many nights I used to wish for someone. Nights I dreamed of finding love, the right love,” your voice is soft as you speak into the open room, being careful to not wake Chan from his sleep. “And then the universe sent me you… perfectly wrapped in your endless black hoodies and topped with your messy little curls,” you gently trace a finger around one of his curls. 

“I remember the first time I met you at the cafe. You hadn’t even been in the building for five minutes before I was spilling half my order into your lap,” you cover your face in embarrassment. A laugh escapes you as you recall the memory.  “God, I was absolutely mortified. And then you were the one apologizing to me.” 

“To be honest, I never thought someone could look like you and still be that nice. Hot and kind Mr. Bahng,” you snort out quietly. You remember his smile as he waved off your apologies. Even as the lingering bits of coffee dripped onto his lap. You think you hadn’t 

“But there you were. Being so kind even after I ruined your clothes. And then you just stuck, like me embarrassing myself in front of you just made us friends. You were so willing to bring me into your circle and into your life.” You pause, staring off into the room around you. 

The room is still quiet as you glance at the photos and decorations littered around the space. Memories of before and after your relationship started, pieces of furniture you’d bickered over before laughing at how much you sounded like an old married couple. Even the bed you sleep on holds the memory of putting it together and suffering with Chan as he struggled to interpret the instructions. You can't help but feel sentimental in your room, your home. Thinking about how it all started with meeting Chan.

“I don’t think I’ve ever told you how grateful I am to have you. Ever since we met, you’ve always been so kind and willing to help. Even without knowing you, I could see that. And when we became friends that didn’t change, you offered me someone to lean on and the opportunity to make my own little circle with your members. In the short time after we met you added so much joy to my life and I genuinely couldn't believe it.” 

You turn back to look at Chan, who is still asleep, his slow breaths the only sound in the room. 

“And then you asked me out and I had never been so nervous in my life.” The memory of when he asked you out warms your heart. You don’t think you’d ever seen him that nervous as he avoided eye contact with you. His ears and cheeks pink as he had stumbled over his words. To be fair you weren’t doing any better, with your barely controlled giggles and warm face.  You’d thanked whatever in the universe kept you standing on your feet as you listened to his confession. 

“I was scared, you know, to fall in love again. Even though I wanted it, I didn’t think it was for me…” You hesitate, but decide to continue, “Everyone before, they didn't- They didn’t make me feel like I was worth the effort… I felt like a chore really…

“I was so convinced that I was unlovable. Each and every heartbreak just made me feel I wasn’t worth the effort.You place your hand on his cheek, softly rubbing your thumb against it.

Your voice is soft as you continue, ”But you’ve never made me feel like I was invisible. Like I was a cutout in this relationship. When it comes to you, you’ve shown me what it really means to be in love.”

“The ways you love me, you’re so attentive, so caring, so.. You. I’ve never felt a love like this. I wish there was a greater word to use than love, because you do more than love me. It’s like you give me the world in every little thing you do for me.” You laugh, a hint of embarrassment making you warm even though Chan is sleeping quietly next to you. 

“We’ve been together for so long, yet you’re still here giving me butterflies like a schoolgirl crush. I know it's a little silly, but you just make me feel like I’m something special”. You pause, stopping the words on the tip of your tongue.

Even after all this time, the hesitation from past relationships makes you nervous. But one look at Chan makes your worries fall away. He’s been your safe place for almost as long as you’ve known him. Even with this. Even if the thought of saying it out loud scares you, you know Chan would never judge you. You smile as you look at him, taking a calming breath. Even in his sleep it still feels like he’s helping you to calm your nerves. 

“You make me feel like I’m worth a forever,” Your confession comes out in a shaky whisper. You pause, even in the still room it feels like the world may suddenly come crashing down at your confession. But nothing changes. The room is still quiet. Chan still sleeps peacefully next to you. Your heart is still slightly beating out of your body. But a weight on your chest has slightly been lifted.

“I know that being in a relationship isn’t easy. But even through all the ups and downs, I’ve never felt unloved by you. Even the hard days don't feel as hard.

“I know at the beginning, loving me was hard. A lot of the time I  let my fear of us get in the way… but you were always patient. You never pushed me, never made me do something I didn’t want to. It’s like you know me better than I know myself most days.

“And I just… I just really hope you know how much I love you. How I would bring heaven down for you if I could. Catch all the stars in the sky for you. I want to give you the world like you do for me. And I kinda really want to spend the rest of my life with you.

You pause smiling softly at him. You lean forward, gently brushing your lips across his forehead. “I don’t know if you feel the same, but I really hope you do,” you mumble softly. 

You place a gentle kiss against his skin, smiling as you lean back. 

“Sweet dreams my love,” you say softly, bringing your hand back down to your side. You watch Chan’s steady breathing, feeling your eyes get heavier with the need to sleep. The last thing you remember is moving closer to Chan, before you’re fast asleep next to him. 

_______

Chan has no secrets. He’s always been open with you. Even with the occasional surprise he still manages to give it away.

‘I did get you an anniversary gift. But I won’t tell you what it is.’

‘I’m planning your birthday party, what kind of cake do you want?’

Most people would be put off by this. Something about needing surprises to keep a relationship going. But you love Chan's openness. You love how he wants everything to go perfect, paying attention to every little detail.. It makes you feel special and you love it. Other than that, Chan has no secrets.

That is until tonight.

Tonight as he lays with his eyes closed next to you. He shifts closer to you sleepily as he feels your fingers near his hair. He’s about to open his eyes to look at you when you speak. His heart feels like it’s beating out of his chest as you open your heart out to him. He thought that he couldn’t fall even more in love with you, but here you are stealing his heart once again.He doesn’t think he’s ever felt more in love with you than this moment.

He fights the urge to jump up and trap you in his arms, to pepper every inch of your skin in kisses and tell you how much he loves you. He knows this is a delicate moment. One he’ll treasure for the rest of his life. 

So after tonight Chan has two secrets.

The first being that he’s not actually asleep next to you and can hear every word you’re saying. He figures he’ll tell you eventually. When the moment is right.

Which brings him to his second secret.

When he’s gonna give you the ring he plans to buy you first thing in the morning. His commitment to never stop showing you what you mean to him. A promise to a forever that you deserve.

A forever that he really wants to spend with you too.

[redroomreflections]

Before She Cheats...

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

Summary: Natasha cheats on reader

The Loud House Universe

w/c:1.6k (an AU to the AU )

You can't see her face when you walk through the door, your excited greeting hanging in the air as you shrug off your coat and kick off your shoes. Natasha remains silent when you call out to her, her body language stiff and unmoving as she sits curled on the couch.

"Hey, baby, I thought we could celebrate tonight!" You suggest, your voice brimming with enthusiasm. You don't wait for an answer as you drop all your belongings in the foyer. The familiar scent of fresh soap fills the room, and you notice the damp curls of her hair, evidence of a recent shower. “I officially put in my resignation for ADA. We can go ahead and get started on the move. Also, I will be accepting that job offer in the morning. Ohio it is for us.”

Still nothing. It’s fine she’s probably busy with Luke.

"Natasha?" You call again, hoping for a response, but the silence is deafening. The atmosphere in the room shifts, and your excitement wavers as you approach her cautiously. "Oh, you're in here with all the lights off," you observe with a chuckle. "It's giving Cara after a long day. How are you? I missed you." You lean in to kiss her lips, but she turns slightly, offering only her cheek in return.

Your smile falters as you pull back, your excitement dimming. "Is everything okay?" you ask, concern creeping into your voice. Natasha's gaze remains fixed ahead, her silence louder than any words. "Where are the kids? Did something happen?"

"No, um the kids are fine," She finally speaks. She looks into your eyes and all you see is pain. "I sent them to the compound for the weekend. "

"Oh, that's cool then," You nod. "Even Luke? He's so tiny. It will be his first time away. "

Natasha nods. She bites her lips nervously. Something you've never known Natasha to do.

"I felt we needed this time to talk about a few things," She began before shaking her head.

"Okay," You furrow your brows.

"We've been together for a while now. We've built a life together and our children and the Avengers and it's great. It really is. " Natasha begins a monologue that has you going from confused to afraid. "I love you."

"Natasha, I love you too," You grab a hold of her hand. You massage her skin soothingly. "What's wrong? Baby, tell me."

"I, um, there's no easy way to say this," Natasha takes a deep breath. "I was drunk. I was stupid. I slipped. It was just one time and..."

"What happened?" You interrupt her. You don't want to think where this is going. It's never been a thought in your head.

"I slept with someone else," She whispers. "It was a mistake. I know I can't take it back. I am sorry."

The blood drains from your face, and your heart sinks. You pull your hand back as if you've been burned.

"No," You shake your head. "No, no. You didn't do that. You're not stupid. You wouldn't throw away ten years of marriage like that."

"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," She pleads with you. "You have to believe me." She reaches for your hand."

"No," You shake your head. "Why would you do that? W-why?"

"It was a mistake, Y/N. I didn't think it would lead to anything. We were both drunk. It happened so fast." Natasha explains.

"So, you just forgot you're married." You questioned. "You just forgot you had a wife at home. What was she prettier than me? Was I working too late? Did she give you affection I didn't?" Your voice raised.

"No," Natasha denied.

"Then what is it?" You demanded.

"I wasn't thinking. I made a mistake. You have to believe me. It will never happen again."

"I have to believe you. No! You know what I believe. I believe you've been having an affair. And that you were just looking for a reason to leave. " You stand from the couch. "I know you. A one-time thing isn't you? You're an emotional person as much as you try not to be."

"I swear it's not like that. Please."

"No," you cut her off. "Just don't." You turn away from her. Tears blurring your vision.

"Please, I'm sorry," Natasha's voice cracks. She stands to come and get you to look at her.

"No," You turn around to push her away. "I said don't."

"I'm sorry. You can't imagine how sorry I am. I never wanted to hurt you. " She pleads.

"You never wanted to hurt me? That's such a fucking lie," You pushed her again. She allowed herself to move. "You throw away twelve years of a relationship for nothing? Please don't play with my intelligence. We just adopted another fucking baby. He's not even six months old and you mean to tell me you go and pull this?"

"Y/N, please. Just let me explain."

"What is there to explain? You fucked someone else. What can you explain? You had an affair. You've been having an affair." You began to pace. It was either this or you would start swinging. Neither of you needed that.

"No, Y/N, that's not it. Please."

"How long? How long has this been going on?" You turned to her. "I want the truth."

"It was one time," Natasha reiterated.

"Who is she?"

"Y/N, I promise it's not like that," Natasha shook her head.

"Stop lying," You yelled. "Just stop. You fucked someone else. And I want to know who the fuck she is."

"You don't understand. We can get past this. You're my wife. We're married. I can't lose you."

"I don't understand," You huff. "How could you do this to us? Who is she?"

"Baby, please," Natasha pleads with you.

"Who is she, Natasha?" You demand.

"A woman from HR at Stark Industries," Natasha finally says. "She was a temp. We met a few times over legalities and my contract. Though I swear it was only one time. In her office."

"Her office?"

"We were having lunch and she was leaving and her door was open. And the next thing I knew we were kissing. And I was sitting on her desk and she was fucking me." Natasha continued.

"You can't be serious," You practically scream. Anything to keep from bursting into tears.

"Please," Natasha steps closer. "I'm sorry. Please forgive me. Let me fix this. Don't leave me. We have a family. You can't."

"Don't touch me." You raise a finger. "I'm liable to do anything right now I'm so pissed. I can't believe this."

"It will never happen again," Natasha promised.

"Yeah, but it already has," You remind her. "I-I-I can't breathe." You hold a hand to your chest. This is one of the most devastating things you've had to go through in your life. You wish you could go back to one hour ago. "I think I'm gonna throw up." You push past her. "I need to get out of here. I need some air."

"No, Y/N, please don't leave," Natasha begged. "Stay and let's talk about this."

"Fuck, you!" You yell.

"Let me make this better. Please, just give me a chance."

"I need to go."

"No," She grabbed your arm.

"Don't fucking touch me!" You shout. "Let me go. Let me go, now!"

"Baby, please,"

"No, just no," You yanked your arm away. You finally allowed the tears to fall. "How could you do this, Nat? How could you? What was it that wasn't enough for you? What wasn't I giving you that you had to go out and sleep with someone else?"

"I can't believe you would do this to us. We've been together ten years. We have kids. I can't even look at you."

"It was a mistake," She cried.

"Mistakes are forgetting your wallet. Mistakes are accidentally putting the car in reverse instead of drive. Mistakes are not throwing away the love of your life because you were drunk."

"I didn't mean for this to happen."

"I am leaving for the weekend," You begin. "I will call my lawyer first thing Monday morning."

"What, no."

"I want a divorce," You announce. "I don't want to see you. I don't want to hear your voice. I will be back for the kids and I will be filing for sole custody."

"Y/N, wait," She tried to follow.

"Do not follow me," You warned. "Do not try to call or text me. You stay the fuck away from me."

"You can't just take my kids away from me," She argues. "Divorce is crazy. We can work through this. I can work through this."

"Oh, trust me, I'll take everything. You've broken my heart. I'll make sure you feel that same pain. If not worse. Now stay the fuck away from me," You warn.

"You're not the vengeful type," Natasha protested. "I know this hurts but putting the kids through a custody battle?"

"You weren't the cheating type either but I guess we can still learn new things about each other," You begin to collect your things. "I want a divorce. I want full custody. And I want you as far away from me as possible."

"And if I won't give it to you," Natasha challenges.

"I will ruin you," You threaten. "I'll take your bank accounts. I'll take the kids. I'll make sure you can never work again. And I'll take all your friends. I will make sure no one will ever trust you again."

"What are you talking about? Y/N, come on."

"Don't you 'come on' me," You shake your head. "I hope she was worth it."

You leave the house, slamming the front door behind you. How could she do this?

---> next part

[zegrasdrysdale]

[ aftermath ] t. zegras

paring : Trevor Zegras x fem!reader

summary : (Y/N) helps Trevor deal with Jamie leaving and breaking his ankle all in 24 hours

warning(s) : injury, some angst

author’s note : it’s me. hi. i’m the problem, it’s me

༺═──────────────═༻

She definitely believes in the snowball effect after the last 24 hours of her life. It’s one of the reasons why she’s currently on a flight in the middle of the night to Raleigh to meet her boyfriend’s hockey team at their hotel.

Both her life and Trevor’s life have changed so much in 24 hours. Trevor left with the Ducks for their road trip expecting to have a fun trip. His best friend was finally 21 and could enjoy all that Nashville had to offer.

Then Jamie got the call that no player ever really wants to get from their general manager.

Hours later, he was on a flight to Philly and leaving the Ducks and a distraught Trevor behind in Tennessee.

She should’ve gotten on a plane then and there. Instead, she tempted fate.

The next day was Trevor’s 200th career NHL game, and he had to play it without his best friend on the ice with him. (Y/N) happily watched from their apartment in Anaheim.

Until Trevor went down along the boards after 3 shifts and two minutes total on the ice. She was on her feet as she watched her boyfriend get helped down the tunnel. He wasn’t putting any pressure on his left leg as the trainers helped him.

She blew up his phone with texts and calls until one in the morning California time. He never replied. Then she texted Mason and asked where the Ducks were staying in Raleigh. She booked a flight and asked Mason to get Trevor’s room number when they got there.

Luckily there was a nonstop flight to Raleigh that left from LAX at three that she just barely made. She packed a duffel bag and ran out the door to catch the flight.

After nearly five hours in the air and multiple timezone changes, (Y/N) lands in North Carolina. She left at three in the morning and landed at eleven in the morning. Mason’s text with Trevor’s room number and a he’s cranky comes through as she grabs her duffel from baggage claim.

Honestly, she should’ve gotten on a flight as soon as Trevor told her that Jamie got traded. This is what happens when you tempt fate.

She orders an Uber from the airport to the hotel where Trevor is staying with the Ducks.

Why he traveled with them after getting hurt is beyond her. Maybe it isn’t a long term injury and it’s just a sprain.

Either way, she’s about to find out.

After a ten minute debate with herself, she lightly knocks on Trevor’s door.

It’s a second before the door opens. As soon as it swings open though, her heart breaks at the sight behind it.

Trevor stands on crutches with his ankle wrapped. His eyes are red and puffy and it looks like he hasn’t slept a wink in two days. Honestly, he probably hasn’t.

"Trev," she pouts.

He shakes his head and quickly spins to walk back into the room. She follows him and lets the door shut behind her. "I don't want you here, (Y/N)," he tells her. The voice crack tells her all she needs to know. He does actually need her here.

"I don't care," she replies. "I'm here anyway." Trevor leans the crutches against the middle table and sits on the bed. "You haven't exactly had the best few days so I came to make sure you're okay."

"I'm not fucking okay!" Trevor shouts at her before rubbing his face and running his fingers through his hair to compose himself. "My best friend plays across the damn country now after getting traded out of nowhere and I might have just broken my damn ankle in a milestone game. I'm going to be out for like two months again."

(Y/N) crouches down in front of him and puts her hands on his knees. "I'm sorry, baby," she softly says. "I can't even begin to imagine how you feel right now. I know Jamie's in Philly right now and I know you won't talk to anyone else about how you feel so that's why I'm here. I don't want you to bottle up your feelings."

"It just sucks," Trevor says, voice shaky. "Everything's changing and I don't like it. I'm probably going to have to go to Jamie's and pack his apartment so I can send his stuff to him, especially now that I'm out and won't be able to do anything."

She gets up and sits next to her boyfriend. She grabs one of his hands and holds it on her lap. She rubs the back of her hand with her thumb. Trevor leans over and drops his head to her shoulder. She wraps an arm around his shoulders and plays with his hair.

"I'm here," she whispers. "I don't care if you don't want me here. I'll always be here."

"I know," Trevor replies. "I'm sorry for yelling at you. I'm just frustrated and confused and in pain."

(Y/N) kisses his temple and buries her face in his hair. "It's okay," she says. "You're feeling a lot right now so I don't blame you for anything you say right now. Just know that I'll be here the entire time. As for Jamie, you know he's a phone call away whenever you wanna talk to him. He'll answer every single time you call him."

He nods. "Yeah," he mumbles. "Can we lay down until I meet with the doctor?"

"Of course," she replies. "Whatever you wanna do. What time do you meet with the doctor?"

"Three," Trevor tells her as he gets comfortable. Well, as comfortable as he can since he's hurt. "I have to leave at two."

That's enough time for both of them to take a two hour nap.

She sets her alarm for 1:30 then settles in next to him. She wraps a leg around his waist and rests her head on his forehead while he wraps an arm around her shoulders.

"Thank you for coming," Trevor whispers, his voice tired. "You didn't have to."

"I wanted to," she assures him. "Close your eyes for a bit. I'll wake you up when it's time to leave."

He nods and within seconds, his breathing evens out. She smiles and falls asleep herself knowing that Trevor is finally getting some rest.

༺═──────────────═༻

MASTERLIST

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[longlivedelusion]

If We We're Everything

Dorian x Orym

@apollosukelele @fairymonk as promised, the morning after the snuggles 🤍 hope you enjoy!

A/N: literally wrote this 20 minutes before the next episode started airing. Barely proofread, but wanted this to get out now now. Hope y'all like my take on this ✨

Warnings: spoilers up till C3 ep111, mentions of world ending stuff and general themes around that (it's C3 c'mon lol)

When Dorian woke up, he expected to be alone. Or maybe, he didn't really know what he expected.

Was the night before a dream? Did he imagine Orym's confession, the soft warmth of his skin pressed against his? The lull of a breath as soothing any lullaby? The smell of Orym, Orym, Orym-

The warmth was still there. The feeling of a body curled against his chest, soft waves threaded through his fingers. He opened his eyes slowly to see the halfling below him, chest rising and falling still in a deep sleep. How rare for him to catch his friend still asleep before him.

His friend. 

Could he just call him that now? What were they? Friends, lovers, partners? He's getting too ahead of himself. As much as he wanted something, everything with Orym, he didn't know what today would bring or what the other even wanted from this. Sure, Orym said he had liked Dorian for a long time, but that doesn't mean he wanted to jump into a relationship persay with him, he-

"I can feel you thinking," Orym said, voice still groggy from sleep.

"I'm sorry, just go back to sleep." He said as he softly began petting Orym's hair back.

"S'okay. Slept longer than usual anyways." Orym nuzzled into the touch before looking up at him with a soft smile. "Hi."

"Hi." Dorian felt his face flush slightly at the eye contact, his insides practically melting at the soft green eyes that peered up at him.

They stayed like that a moment, just looking at each other. The fondness in Orym's gaze making it hard for Dorian to think let alone speak.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Orym said, lulling the silence away.

It took Dorian a moment to think of something coherent to say, and he eventually managed out. "Everything, nothing. Us, the world. Today. You."

Dorian watched as the halfling's face changed into a knowing look, threading his fingers through Dorian's and giving them a gentle squeeze. "It's a lot isn't it?"

"It is," Dorian sighed out. "But this is enough. If all of it goes to hell today, then this will have been enough." The partial truth fell from his lips with ease. 

He felt Orym still beneath him, his tense body drawing Dorian's gaze back down. 

"Orym?" Dorian said, the worry seeping into him. Did he say the wrong thing? Did he-

The softest whisper left Orym's lips, otherwise lost if not for the close distance between them. 

"It's not enough." 

"What do you mean?" Dorian's heart sped up.

Orym's gaze flicked up to his, a slight sadness but determination in his eyes that was not there before. He shifted his body up, their heads now side by side in the pillow. 

"It's not enough." He said more clearly now, eyes fixed on his. "I want more time with you. To take you out on dates, to hold your hand. To show you how I feel without having to rush this."

Dorian's chest tightened, his stomach fluttering.

"I want-" Orym said, his voice near begging as he reaches up to cup Dorian's face, "to kiss you, somewhere beautiful. Somewhere you deserve. Not because the world might end and I might never get the chance to if I don't."

"Orym-" he felt his breath catch, eyes flickering down to the halfling's lips. How could his breath catch? "This is perfect, you're perfect. Just like this."

"You deserve the best, Dorian."

"You already are that," he said, holding Orym's hand to his face. "This, this is so much more than I ever could have imagined. Your touch alone gives my heart a feeling I'd never experienced in my life. And best of all, I get to experience this with you. That's all I care about."

Orym's gaze held true to Dorian's, never wavering. "I still can't believe you feel the same way."

"I do," he said quickly, perhaps a bit too quickly as he realized with a flush. "I do. Feel very much the same." 

Dorian's gaze lowered to the halfling's lips and then up before he spoke again. "I'd really like to kiss you now, if that's alright."

Orym chuckled, the lines by his eyes crinkling slightly as he moved closer, but not quite where he wanted him. "That's more than alright."

Dorian's hand moved to Orym's jaw, fingers threading to the back of his head. His heart felt like a mess of nerves as he leaned forward. For a moment, he felt his nerves creep up, the fact that he'd really only kissed very few people in his life. Never anyone like this, someone he cared so deeply for, who made his skin feel feel alight, who made him feel this desire, this passion, this.

This.

His lips slowly pressed onto Orym's, a sigh escaping his love's lips as he kissed back. 

Dorian's thoughts left his mind. There was nothing but Orym in that moment, Orym's lips against his, the way they moved so slowly against his own, so patiently. He felt his heart beating so fast he swore the others could hear it from the other rooms if they tried. He tasted sweetness and possibility on Orym's lips, of trust and home, and it was so so perfectly Orym. So perfectly everything.

They did not break the spell for some time that morning, not even as life began to breathe into the others, as the smell of breakfast crept under the door. Only as they were forced apart by the sound of knocking from an apologetic Laudna did they break, and they laid their foreheads against one another for support as they caught themselves. Brought themselves back. 

They would make it through this day, if not for more of this. More of everything.

[nicoleheichou]

you can't believe you agreed to a facetime call with him. you decide to blame your decision on whatever alcohol was still left in your system. your heart starts to beat rapidly when you see his name pop up on your screen along with his picture smiling back at you. you hesitantly tap the screen to accept the call.

you can't help but smile when you see his smirking face looking at you. "hey." he says with a grin as his eyes take you in. "hey." you reply as you do the same, smiling at how comfortable he looks in bed. for a few moments it's just silence, the both of you admiring how cozy the other looks in bed.

"it's been awhile since we've done something like this, huh?" he says finally breaking the silence. "yeah." you say as you nod your head, shifting in bed so that you're in a more comfortable position. "i always slept better after our calls." you confide in him, watching as the corner of his lips turn up just slightly. "me too. there's something about you that always manages to make me feel at ease."

you feel your heart skip a beat, not expecting his response. "how have you been z? like, really? no bullshit. it's been so long since our breakup...i see how successful you've become but i just want to make sure you're okay...that this was all worth it..." you hadn't expected all that to come tumbling out of your mouth that it catches not only him by surprise but you as well.

"you don't have to respond. i think it's just the alcohol talking. forget what i said." you quickly backtrack hoping the atmosphere won't become awkward between the two of you now. you glance up at the screen to see him contemplating something, before you can ask what he's thinking about he locks eyes with you.

"if we're being honest? i might sound crazy saying this, or maybe it's the alcohol talking...but i think i was stupid for asking you to break up with me. i was young and dumb, i didn't think that i could be in a relationship and have a successful career at the same time. i was worried that i wouldn't be able to give you the attention you needed or that i wouldn't be able to focus on my roles if we were together. but that was stupid of me. if you love someone you're supposed to figure it out, you will find a way to make it work, even if it means you have to make a few sacrifices along the way. so...am i okay because of our breakup? i'm okay in the sense that my career is flourishing and i have everything i could ask for, but i am not okay in the sense that i let the most important person in my life walk away without putting up a fight. so honestly? i'm fucking miserable princess." you feel your breath catch in your throat at his drunken confession and feel the butterflies erupting in your belly at the old pet name.

you feel tears prick the corners of your eyes at seeing how sad he looks having said what's been on his mind. "oh, z." you wish you were there with him to comfort him. "i'm sorry princess. i shouldn't have let you go." at this point you can hear the sadness in his voice. "zoro, don't. you're not the only one to blame. i wanted to support you in any way that i could, so i agreed with your wanting to break up. we both had a hand in this, we can't put the blame on one person. and you're right, you should have fought harder, but i should have too. what we have is something you only find once in a lifetime, we never should have let go so easily." you do your best to comfort and soothe him through the small screen.

you watch as he runs his hand through his hair a few times, a sigh escaping his lips. "you said you shouldn't have let me go...do you still feel that way?" you ask, your voice barely a whisper. his eyes sweep over the screen until they land on yours. "i do. the more time we spend together, the more apparent it becomes that i made a mistake. i miss you so much princess. when you came over to help with my lines, that was the happiest i'd felt in a long time. it felt like for just a few hours we were back to how we used to be." you bite your bottom lip, trying your hardest not to cry. "you wanna know something?" you watch as he nods his head.

"i felt the same way. i let myself pretend that we were still together and i was helping you how i usually do." you wipe away a few tears that escape your waterline. he chuckles and you notice the way his eyes soften as he looks at you. "if...i said i wanted to give us another shot...what would you say?" you're surprised by his question but more surprised at how tense he was and at the way he's staring you down. "well...if you said that you wanted to give us another shot...i would say that i would like to give us another shot too." you watch as his eyes widen before a smirk appears on his face.

"i do. can we give us another shot, princess?" he studies your face as he waits for an answer. you nod your head, a smile slowly making its way onto your face. "i thought you'd never ask." you chuckle as you watch as he breaks into a smile, clearly happy at having an opportunity to try again. you spend the rest of the night catching up until you both finally fall asleep.

i miss you, don't call me - chapter twenty five: no bullshit

♡ masterlist ♡ - 《 prev | next 》

synopsis: when your acting careers start to pick up you and your boyfriend zoro both decide that it's better to go your separate ways. you didn't want to, but you knew he was right. fast forward to a couple years later, when you're finally starting to heal, your friends score a deal to shoot a movie together with your ex and you're starting to think maybe you haven't really moved on.

finally!!! lol. i really enjoyed writing this chapter.

i love them and they are so cute. i was dying at your reactions last chapter lol. tbh i feel like compared to my other chapters they got together pretty quickly. i wasn't planning for it to happen this fast but it just happened.

i actually had to edit the facetime photo and just know it was 2am so it's not the best lmaooo.

as usual, leave a comment or send an ask and let me know what you thought!

taglist: @queen-aria-things @soranihimawari @youraggedybitch @captaincyberqueen @yukichan67 @roselleviennesstuff @yukimaniac @minssecret @meosq @himezoro @youmake1mistake @aixaingela @ayeputita @writing-wh0re @asterizee @redpool @hikkarins @chamomilespetal @murnsondock @firefistsimp @mimisweetz @moonlight-dreamer04 @shuujin @gespirida @diarythroughmylens @haitaniwhor3 @songbirdemerald-blog @xenop0p

[nicoline1998enilocin]

Flufftober Day 8 | Dancing in the rain

Pairing | Best friend!Loki Laufeyson x Best friend!!Avenger!Female!Reader

Word count | ~ 850 words

Summary | Both you and Loki decide to make the best of a rainy day. He starts the day off with breakfast in bed, and you decide to bake him a pumpkin pie in the afternoon. When you suddenly get the idea to dance in the rain with him, something shifts between you, and you can't keep your hands off one another.

Warning(s) | This is your official trigger warning. Do not proceed if any of these topics upset you. Best friends to lovers, mutual pining, breakfast in bed, dancing in the rain, implied shower sex.

Prompt(s) | 8. Rainy day

Request | Anon: Can I request a lazy rainy day with loki and female reader? 😍😍

A/n | This one shot is written for day 8 of Flufftober 2023. Thank you for this sweet request, Nonnie! I dream of spending a day like this with Loki, so I'm happy to have worked on this. I hope you will all enjoy it as much as I did when writing it 🖤

Likes, comments and reblogs will be very much appreciated 🧡

Divider is made by @cafekitsune | 18+ banner is made by yours truly

Main Masterlist | Loki Laufeyson Masterlist | Flufftober Masterlist

It is genuinely an autumnal day outside, with the rain falling heavy on the windows, the wind blowing trees in every direction, and it is cold out. Luckily for you, you're working in the kitchen to make a treat Loki has never had before: pumpkin pie.

The morning started nicely, even though you were rudely woken up by knocking on your door. Loki decided to bring you breakfast in bed, and you weren't fazed that he was wearing sweatpants and a tight shirt, which is the complete opposite of his usual Asgardian leather clothing.

''Mornin' Darling,'' he says with a small kiss on your temple, a little routine the two of you have built over the years you've known each other. What started as short, small pecks turned into lingering kisses and hugs, and sometimes, you two even slept in the same bed.

There's nothing wrong with that in and of itself if it weren't for the fact that you both have feelings for one another.

''I think I know what I want to do this afternoon,'' you suddenly said after Loki popped a strawberry into his mouth.

''And what would that be, Darling?'' Loki looks up at you expectingly.

''I'm going to bake you a pumpkin pie since I think it's a real shame you've never tasted one. It is one of the most amazing desserts on this planet, and since the weather is dreadful, it's the perfect opportunity to bake something!'' you said, and Loki was almost as enthusiastic as you were.

Keyword being almost, because your baking skills haven't always proved to be the best.

''Alright, if that's what you want to do, I'd be more than happy to try some of your pumpkin pie,'' he says before feeding you a strawberry, too, maintaining eye contact the entire time.

And that's how you found yourself in the kitchen, preparing the filling for your pumpkin pie. Loki silently observes you as you dance to the music you put on, and with each movement, he can feel himself falling more and more in love with you.

By the time the pie is ready to go into the oven, Loki has set up the living room to watch a movie together, a blanket, snacks, and your favorite Halloween movie ready to go.

''C'mon, we can probably watch about half the movie if we start now,'' he says, but when you look out the window, you suddenly get a better idea.

You stretch out your hand, and when he puts his in yours, you feel a warmth flowing through your body you can only describe as nothing but love.

''Trust me, it will be worth it,'' you tell Loki, who believes you, following you outside in the pouring rain.

''There's one thing I've always dreamt of doing: dancing in the rain!'' you scream at Loki so he can hear you through the pouring rain, and without a second thought, you dance like your life depends on it, not a single care in your mind right now.

All you know is you, Loki, and the rain, and he quickly follows suit as he busts out some odd dance moves he probably learned in Asgard, making you laugh uncontrollably.

''Loki, can I confess something?'' you say as you stop to dance. ''Because there's one more thing I've always dreamt of doing,'' you say, finally having found the courage to bring it up.

''Always, Darling,'' he says.

You walk over to him, and in the pouring rain, you wrap your arms around his neck, your lips crashing onto his in a kiss that takes your breath away in the best way possible.

His hands pull you closer by your waist until there's not a single inch left between you two, and it feels like you're in a romantic comedy, the moment feeling perfect.

When Loki pulls away, you chase his lips, and he gives one more small peck before telling you all about the feelings he's had for a long time now.

''I have to tell you how much I love you, how much I am in love with you. Every single time I see you, my heart skips a beat or two, and when we talk, I never get bored of talking or listening to you, and not a single moment is ever boring with you,'' he says, and your eyes light up at his words.

''I like how you look at people like they're all so precious, and you talk to everyone with love and care; it makes everyone feel special. But there's no one more special than you, Darling. And if you'll let me, I want to show you just how special,'' he says, a glint of mischief showing through.

''Please, Loki. I want you to show me,'' and within no time, you're both in the shower, and he has you pinned between himself and the wall as he makes sweet love to you, telling you how much he loves you and how perfect you are.

But most of all, he tells you what a good girl you are for him.

[cottoncandy-cult]

He Has A Nightmare (ZFBFS)

(Y/n) huffed herself awake after feeling yet another kick from Zack, recently they decided to start sharing a bed a few nights a week. Mostly because it was getting colder at night and the (H/c) haired female wanted an excuse to cuddle more, not that Zack minded despite his occasional grumblings of her constantly stealing the covers. But tonight, he had been restless, this was abnormal as he usually slept like a rock. After becoming so used to their shared home he had begun to feel safe, and so his sleep had become more regular. He may have been a bit grumpy, but he had calmed down a bit. So, to have him tossing and turning was new to her, but it quickly went from odd to concerning when she heard the soft whimper that escaped the larger male.

She reached out to him, gentle hand resting on his arm as she gently shook him. "Zack... Hey wake up." She didn't want to raise her voice too loud and startle him awake, but unfortunately that had been unavoidable. Her touch was enough to have him springing up, he had pinned her down with hands around her throat. (E/c) eyes widened as (Y/n)'s hands came up to grip his wrists, her pleas for him to wake were soft. His eyes were glossy and his body shaking, the male barely coherent. But before she knew it the grip was gone from her neck, instead moving down as he laid over her and held her to his chest. His face was buried in the crook of her neck, but she could hear his soft pleas for forgiveness. The way his voice broke made her heart ache; she knew he would never intentionally hurt her. So, she held him instead, running her fingers through his messy bed head as she tried not to let his next silent sobs shake her soul to pieces. "It's alright... It wasn't on purpose; you were scared and not even fully awake." She tried reasoning with him but didn't get a response, he held her close and pulled away from her enough to lock eyes with her. She could see the regret and fear swirling in his dual-colored orbs, she watched as he gazed down at her neck with a pained look.

"I can't believe I almost killed you... I almost made it a reality..." His words were soft as if spoken to himself, in his stressed state she wasn't even sure he was aware of what he was saying. Shifting up on the pillows she flipped them to their sides, Zack simply gazing at her with a childlike sadness. She leaned in and pulled him close, his face resting in the lower part of her chest just above her abdomen. The intimate hold had his arms wrapping around her hips as they curled into each other, her hands wrapped around his shoulders as one hand rested on his head. "I don't know what your dream was, I'm not going to demand you tell me so I can talk your fear away. But what I will do is remind you that it was just a dream, I should have been more careful when waking you. We're both killers after all. But what happened a minute ago is already over, and I'm still alive." The soft hum from him made her smile, she tugged his hair a bit, so his head was tilted back to look at her. She wanted to laugh at only just being able to see his eyes over her chest, soft hands gently brushed his bangs back from his face. "I love you Zack, I promise I'll never leave you." She gave him a smile that she hoped would communicate her love and loyalty in a way she couldn't find the words to explain. She could feel his face heating up against her clothed skin, leaning up he pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. It only lasted a few moments before he pulled back and went back to his place of being cradled to her upper abdomen, closing his eyes as he relaxed into her gentle strokes of his hair. "I love you too princess..." They stayed like that for a while, holding each other into the night as sleep soon found them again. But this time Zack found rest in the safety of being in her arms.

[reallyromealone]

NOZEL SILVA X MALE READER

👾 warnings ⭐

Male reader, mpreg, omegaverse, Omega male reader, fluff, nesting, reader calls out Nozel being shitty to the clover kingdoms subjects

⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Nozel never knew what to do with his mate, (name) was an enigma to say the least.

(Name) was the prince of the heart kingdom, the younger brother of Queen lolopetchka and to strengthen the bonds of the kingdoms (name) and Nozel wed.

(Name) didn't take after the water magic his mother possessed but instead the plant magic like his father, using it to create crops to send to struggling villages around the kingdom.

"You're not going" Nozel said strictly to his mate, (name) crossing his arms in defiance "and why not?"

"It's dangerous for an Omega to go alone"

"What if I didn't go alone?"

"And who did you convince to do this with?"

"...the back bulls" (name) mumbled and Nozel stared him down "absolutely not" he said coldly, watching his mate deflate "then you come with me!"

"No"

"Why not?!"

"I have better things to attend to"

"More important than helping your people?" In the heart kingdom, the Royals did anything they could for their people, the callousness of the clover kingdom infuriated (name).

The village was struggling with crop fertility and winter was only five months away... (Name) didn't like the idea of them struggling like that.

Noelle couldn't believe she was going against her brothers words and helping the other, Asta excited to go out "this is great! You must be strong to be able to do this!" Asta boasted and (name) bit his lip, he felt bad not following his alphas command but... People needed him.

And his sister always taught him that one's subjects lives came before ones own.

Noelle was in awe as she watched her brother in law use his magic, the ground glowing beneath them before plant life began sprouting, fruit trees and various plants around the farm land.

Nozel was fuming as he searched high and low for his Omega, practically putting out a wanted poster for the fucker.

"Nozel!" Noelle said panicked as Asta carried an unconscious (name), the Omega looking worse for wear "what happened?!" Nozel seethed as he took his mate "he was helping a village with their crops and just suddenly collapsed!"

Nozel didn't say anything as he took his Omega to the silver eagles base and to their room, setting the Omega in the nest.

(Name) slept for a few hours before waking, Nozel doing paperwork as he spoke "were you aware you are with pup?" His voice even but it was clear he was upset... But this was the wrong move as (name) gripped his stomach and stressed pharamones leaked everywhere, Nozel knew his Omega well and walked to him, pulling him close to scent him.

"The pups safe, you over used your magic on a trip I clearly remember barring you from going to"

"If I didn't... They wouldn't have made it through the winter... They would have died..." (Name) said teary eyed "I don't understand your reluctance to help those who are supposed to be your subjects... " This genuinely upset (name), the Omega who spent his life helping those of the heart kingdom with anything and everything because he was royalty, his job was to support and lift the kingdom.

"..." Nozel was silent as he held his Omega close "you can't go out to random villages" he said and felt (name) curl his fingers around his cape angrily "but... We can send supply crates to village's in need"

(Name) perked up considerably as he shifted to look at his mate wide eyed "you seem to be hellbent on this, just no more adventures"

"Can I help around the capital?"

"Be thankful I'm not locking you away in the castle"

(Name) didn't try pushing his luck as he chirped and nosed at Nozels jaw while the Alpha moved to touch the bump "I expect minimal magic while you are carrying our pup"

"Our baby.." (name) said happily as he held onto the Alpha who felt his heart warm at the others words "yes yes, our baby"

[chahnniesroom]

tenderness | chapter 6: on my own

[noun] /ˈtendərnəs/

1. the quality of being gentle, kind, or loving

2. the feeling of pain, aching, or soreness

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: in a world where soulmates are rare and precious, you don’t know why the universe has decided to give you one. you never could have imagined that they would be an idol, and one that you worked with at that, or the challenges that would arise from your bond.

chapter word count: 4.8k

chapter warnings: jealousy (? not really a warning, but i'll include it anyway)

a/n: i was blown away by the response for chapter 5 (and the rest of the fic too). thank you everyone so much!! can't believe that we're already past the halfway point of tenderness, hope that everyone continues to enjoy it!

previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter | read it on ao3

It feels like you’ve barely fallen asleep by the time that your alarm wakes you. The hum of Charge between you and Chan is faint through the layers of clothing that you wear. For once, it doesn’t bring you any comfort. Although the two of you had maintained physical contact throughout the night, it feels like you’re miles away compared to the previous nights that you’ve spent curled around each other. You have no idea when he had finally gotten back to the dorms even though you had a fitful sleep.

The second you extricate yourself from the sheets and break contact from Chan, your stomach drops. Exhaustion seeps into you and you have to steady yourself on your bedside table to avoid losing your balance. In his sleep, Chan shifts, rolling towards the warm spot where you were previously lying, but doesn’t wake up. Remembering what happened last night makes things worse, so you do your best to compartmentalise it so that you can focus on the day ahead. One day with less sleep and less Charge can't hurt you, you think to yourself.

When you check the time on your phone, you realise that you must have slept through your first alarm and you’re going to be late if you don’t leave in 15 minutes. The adrenaline is enough to fully wake you up and you stumble to the bathroom in the dark. Somehow, after getting ready as fast as you can without waking anybody, you make it to the company in time. You’re lucky that the early hours mean that transiting was smoother than usual and you didn’t have to fight your way onto the bus. 

You unpack your things at your desk and head down to the room that was booked for the interviews planned for the day. The bright studio lighting that has already been set up exacerbates a pounding in your head that you hadn’t noticed before, but you ignore it to greet the staff that are already there.

When Eunsung enters the room and sees you, concern immediately creeps into his expression. He sidles up to you and bumps your shoulder with his.

“Rough night?”

You lean in close to him and whisper as if sharing a secret, "stayed up late rewatching a drama."

"Ah," Eunsung nods, immediately accepting your lie at face value. "Which one?"

"Moonlight Lovers. Last few episodes."

"Say no more. I've never been able to watch that without shedding a tear." You both laugh at that, knowing Eunsung could cry at a sad commercial. You don't know if he believes your story, but you're just grateful that he's playing along that nothing is wrong. He knows better than to prod too much, it’s a sure way to get you to instead close down even more.

"Is it really that obvious?" you ask quietly, fingers reaching up to poke the eye bags that you had hastily covered up this morning. You’re pretty sure that last night you had done a decent enough job making sure that your eyes wouldn’t be swollen today, but hadn’t had a chance to look at it carefully. Since you had barely enough time to get ready, you had hoped that you might be able to touch up your makeup more before starting work, but had been swept away in preparations the second you had arrived.

"No, I just know you too well." He laughs when you swat his shoulder half-heartedly.

The boys file into the room right after you’re finishing getting everything ready, but before you have a chance to leave the room. You smile and greet them with the rest of the staff, but studiously avoid looking at Chan. Just the brief glance when he had first walked in had stung. He looked… normal. Maybe a bit tired, but he always looked tired and well, that was what had gotten you into this mess in the first place.

Maybe to him, last night was just another night and you were being too sensitive. But his harsh words had reopened a wound in you that you thought had long scarred over. Somehow, it hurt even more thinking that he was totally unaffected.

You quickly try to pack up everything you need, handing out a timeline of the day to the team who are helping film that outlined which interview is for which company, what props, if any, are required, and whether or not a company representative would be present to help facilitate the interview. You make sure Eunsung has a copy of all the questions that Stray Kids are supposed to be asked and which are off limits, both in English and Korean. Almost all of the members are familiar enough with English that the interviews go smoothly without any other help, but a lot of the staff aren’t as fluent. You have a quick chat with the company translator and make sure she’s also comfortable with the schedule and what’s expected of her.

After making sure that everything on your checklist has been completed, you finally grab your things and leave, almost colliding with Felix in the hallway.

“Oh, you’re not staying, Y/n?” He asks, grabbing onto your arms to steady both of you. He smiles at you and you return it but look away quickly, not wanting to meet his eyes, and shrug off his hands.

“Sorry, I have some meetings that I can’t miss this morning. I hope the interviews go well Felix-ssi!” you call as you head to the elevator. When you glance back, his smile has faltered and he’s still standing in the hallway, looking a bit lost.

You’re not sure if he’s more surprised that you’re not going to be attending the schedule or your sudden return to addressing him formally. You had done your best to keep things more professional while at the company, but it had been surprisingly difficult, especially when most other managers also addressed the members more casually.

You feel a bit guilty, but last night had served as an important reminder that no matter how close you seemed or felt, you were still just staff. This time, you won't forget your place.

—

When you finally get back to your desk and open up your laptop after finishing all your meetings for the morning, you despair at the number of emails that have piled up in your absence. You start to sift through them, filing away the ones that don’t require any response. It’s probably a good thing that you’re not in a hurry to see Chan or any of the members, there’s a lot of work that you have to do in the next few days and not enough time to be distracted by attending schedules.

Your phone pings and you see a message from Eunsung waiting.

[12:14 pm - received]

lunch?

Huh, you hadn’t even realised it was already noon. Even though you hadn’t had a chance to eat this morning, you still don’t have much of an appetite. So far, tea has been enough to sustain you as well as provide the much needed caffeine after your late night. You’d had enough foresight to throw a protein bar into your bag before you left, but it still sits untouched on the side of your desk. You know that you should probably eat to help make up for the Charge that you missed last night, but you can't bring yourself to take a bite. Just looking at the bar is enough to make you nauseous so there's no way that you'd be able to stomach any other food. 

[12:15 pm - sent]

sorry. have a mountain of work to do so i don’t have time today

[12:15 pm - received]

:(

want me to bring something to you?

[12:17 pm - sent]

no thanks! i’m fine for now

[12:17 pm - received]

:(

you sure?

[12:19 pm - sent]

please do not bring me anything.

[12:19 pm - received]

:(

:(((

:((((((((

Amused, you lock and put away your phone and focus on your work. You really are scrambling to finish everything and probably wouldn't have taken a break even in normal circumstances. 

Only 15 minutes have passed before there’s a knock at the door. Nobody else is using this work area today and you’ve learned over the years that Eunsung is one of the most persistent people you know.

“Oppa,” you whine, not bothering to look away from your screen. “I told you I didn’t need anything for lunch.”

“Uhm.” Your neck hurts with the speed that you whip your head around to look. Chan’s standing halfway through the open door, looking out of his depth. 

He’s still in his outfit for the press junket, hair carefully styled and makeup immaculate. He looks like a different person. Sometimes you forget that the bare-faced, curly-haired boy in shorts and a hoodie that you’re used to is the same as the polished idol that is presented in front of the camera. He seems so far away, even though he’s right in front of you.

“Sorry, I thought you were Eunsung-oppa. He was… teasing me earlier,” you explain, embarrassed.

"Ah," he says. "You didn't eat yet?"

“Not yet, I’ll get something later,” you lie. “I have a lot of work to do.”

"Oh, okay. We have a break right now. I wanted to talk." He scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. “About… you know. Yesterday.”

“It’s fine,” you say quickly, forcing yourself to smile. You try to stay concentrated on the email that you have to send, but it’s hard enough to think of the right English words to use when you're alone. Instead, you stare at the blinking text cursor, already wanting this conversation to be over. Maybe it was better when you thought he didn’t care about what he had said to you.

“No, it’s not fine. I shouldn’t have said all those things. I was too harsh. I hurt you. I'm sorry,” he insists, stepping closer. 

You finally turn to look back at him, but still can't get yourself to look him in the eye, instead focusing on the cut of his jaw. His hair has grown long enough that curls are starting to gather below his ear even after styling. You wonder how long it will be until the stylists are able to wrestle him away from his laptop and into a chair to cut it again.

“Okay. It’s not fine,” you concede. “But I forgive you. I understand that you felt frustrated. I can tell that you’ve been wanting to talk for a while and I’m glad that I know how you feel now. The delivery was just… poor, but it’s really not a big deal.” 

That's not a lie, but your fingers start to curl into your palm anyway, nails digging into the flesh there. The tiny pricks of pain ground you, not stopping the hurt that came from Chan's words from echoing in your head like they had been the whole day, but distracting you from it. 

I don’t need you bringing me food. I don’t need you reminding me about schedules. And I definitely don’t need or want you telling me when I should be resting. 

It stung, especially knowing what he really meant when he said that. 

I don't need you. 

Looking back, you could see how you were acting overbearing. Yes, there was a soulmate bond connecting you two, but really that didn’t give you permission to act in such a familiar way. More than anything else he had mentioned, it had left a bitter taste in your mouth that he compared you to your eomoni when he now had the insight that your relationship with her had caused you so much pain. It hurt even more to think that maybe that was the reason he had mentioned her, that you had been that much of a burden.  

No matter what he argues now, there was truth in what he said in the heat of the moment, frustration and lack of sleep bringing forth his honest thoughts. 

I’m good now! I’m really good now. I was also good when you were not here. When you were not my soulmate.

You had never really considered what things would be like if you weren’t soulmates, there had been no point in it. Well, you hadn’t considered it until yesterday. After half an hour of trying to sleep with no sign of Chan returning, you had rolled onto your side and reached for your phone. With shaky fingers, you had pulled up Naver and typed in 'can you break a soulmate bond.'

The results had confirmed what you thought. There was no evidence of a bond being broken before. Of course, it was possible for soulmates to live apart from each other for extended periods of time. It just required more food, more water, more rest for both people in order to compensate. That seemed even more inconvenient than the current situation and you knew it would never work for you and Chan. 

This was the next best solution. You promised yourself that he wouldn't have to pretend that he wanted you around anymore. You'd keep your distance, stay professional, just like you had done before your First Touch. 

“It’s not how I feel, I was just-” Chan protests.

“Chan-ssi,” you interrupt gently, hiding your feelings by reverting back to the formal speech that you had used when you first met. He blinks in surprise. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide things from me. You don’t have to worry about me. I’m really okay.”

“I know I don’t have to, but I do. I wanted to clear up everything. I know it’s not an excuse, but I was stressed.” He explains, cheeks slowly turning pink. “There was just a lot happening and then you were there and I don’t know what happened. I really really shouldn’t have yelled. It won’t happen again.”

“I believe you,” you say. “Thank you for apologising. You can go now.”

Maybe it’s a bit harsh as Chan visibly blanches, before his expression is wiped clean.

“Oh, okay.” 

“Sorry,” you say, making sure to soften your voice. “I just. I really do have a lot that I have to finish right now. I appreciate that you came to talk to me, though. I’ll see you later.”

“Right, see you later.” Chan echoes faintly and turns towards the door. After it closes, there’s a long pause before you finally hear his footsteps resume.

—

The rest of the weeks before you leave for Japan seem to somehow simultaneously crawl by and pass in a flash. You’re frustrated by how unproductive you feel like you are at work compared to the amount of things you have to do because you keep getting distracted, but once you’re off, there’s nothing that you want to do. You spend an disconcerting amount of time catching yourself staring at your phone not realising it has already timed out and all you’re looking at is a black screen.

When you confess this to Eunsung, he starts dragging you out for dinner with the rest of the team. It keeps you busy and you have fun in the moment, but every time you get back to the dorms, the emptiness that has been plaguing you creeps back in.

It’s the same today. When you enter your room, there’s no sign of Chan other than the clothes that he was wearing earlier sitting on a pile on his side of the bed. 

It’s no surprise to you, he’s been alternating between being out late at night, either in the studio or working out, or hunched over his laptop with his headphones on. You’ve gotten used to it by now and honestly don’t mind the decreasing number of interactions that you’ve had. On the surface, things are fine between the two of you, but everything is stilted in a way that it wasn’t before. Your relationship, whatever it was prior to that night in Chan's studio, has been strained and you don’t want to do anything to test the breaking point.

You shower quickly and head to the kitchen for a glass of water. When you pass through the living room, Felix is sprawled out on the couch, doing something on his phone. He straightens, legs falling back to the floor when he sees you.

“Hey stranger,” you greet him, instinctively smiling. In the safety of the dorms, with his hair fluffed up to form a dandelion puff around his head, you can’t help but treat Felix with the warm familiarity that you’ve tried to restrain the past few weeks. You had been friends with him way before the mess of your relationship with Chan and you feel guilty every time you see him at the company.

“Y/n! It feels like it’s been so long since I’ve seen you. How have you been?” You make a face at that.

“Work is crazy, you know. I think I’ve been dreaming about planning the tour, it’s basically all I think about these days.” You shrug. “But I can’t complain, I really like doing this and it’s not like you guys are spending the days relaxing. I wasn’t expecting to see you here.” You abandon your task of getting water and settle beside Felix who puts an arm around your shoulders to tug you closer.

“I miss you,” Felix says quietly. “I know that you don't have time to come to our schedules anymore, but I miss having you there.”

“Aw, Felix. I miss you too. You can always come and find me, I’m never going to be far.” You wrap your arms around his waist and rest your head on chest. You don't tell him that it was more a choice by you rather than time constraints that led you to stop attending schedules. Felix is well intentioned, but you know he would immediately confront Chan if he found out that you weren't as 'okay' as you had assured Chan and that would just make things worse. You don't want to be more of a bother than you already are.

“What were you doing on your phone?” you ask after a moment of silence. Felix picks back up his phone and unlocks it. He has to turn it horizontal to properly show you the screen and the motion means that his arms encircle you.

“It’s a new game I’ve been playing,” he explains. “I’m still not that good, but it’s been fun! I thought Hannie would be around to play with me, but I think he’s still at the company.”

“Show me how it works,” you prompt him. You aren’t really interested in mobile games, but are rewarded when his face lights up. He starts by giving a quick tutorial of the game and showing off all the characters he plays as, before continuing on where he had left off.

The steady beat of Felix’s heart combined with the gentle rumble of his commentary and the constant exhaustion that plagues you these days easily lulls you into a semi-conscious state. You’re not quite fully asleep, but only partially aware of what’s going on around you. You keep thinking that you should get up so that Felix isn't stuck on this couch with you, but can't muster up the energy to actually move.

Eventually, you hear the front door open and footsteps pad towards the two of you.

“Is she sleeping?” a voice that isn’t Felix’s whispers.

“Yeah, she must have been pretty tired, hyung. I think she fell asleep almost an hour ago.”

“Thanks for taking care of her, Lix. I’ll bring her back to our room.”

A pair of hands ease under you and shifts your weight from Felix and into the person’s arms. The Charge sparks to life and you can’t help but lean into the comforting buzz, nestling into the warm hold.

It must be Chan, you think blearily. 

You want to protest that you can walk yourself, that you don’t have to be carried back, but the Charge feels so good and so safe that you just relax further. It’s only a short walk down the hall, but the gentle rocking puts you back to sleep before you reach the bed.

—

Trying to balance concert practice, promotional photoshoots, and getting approvals for the next comeback means that it takes Chan an embarrassing amount of time to notice that something’s off.

It starts with the little things.

In between filming for a dance practice video, the members get a short break. Everybody collapses in different parts of the room, only getting up when a staff member enters with a couple trays of drinks. A small crowd forms and Chan waits until everyone else has taken their pick before heading over. He’s disappointed to find that there’s only iced americanos left. When he instead goes to fill his water bottle, he finds Felix already at the fountain.

“You didn’t get a drink?” Chan asks. Felix scrunches up his nose in response.

“They only had coffee today.”

“Don’t they usually have other options? I thought you’ve been getting that fruit tea these days.”

“That’s only when Y/n is organising the order. She always tries to get me things I like.”

“Oh, that’s nice of her.” 

“Come on, hyung, you’re the one that’s her soulmate, shouldn’t you know this? She’s the only one that remembers to get that weird custom protein chocolate smoothie thing that you always drink.” 

“I-” Chan stops to think. It’s true that he had been favouring a strange specialised order from one of the cafes that they usually get drinks from. He had stopped by there one afternoon when he had been in the area, then mentioned it off-handedly when eating lunch with the team and from then on it had appeared at a lot of their schedules. Most of the time, a staff member’s phone gets passed around to order their drinks or they just get served a variety of drinks to pick over, but now that he’s trying to recall, it’s been a while since either of those have happened. 

He hadn’t thought much of it at the time, he’d just been happy to have a drink that he liked. He hadn’t even realised that Y/n was the one behind their personalised orders, but feels off-kilter knowing that he had never thanked her for it.

—

Y/n hasn’t attended Channie’s Room in weeks either. Chan knows that everyone on her team has been scrambling with work related to the international legs of the tour, but even with a heavy workload, Y/n had never missed an episode before. Having her in the room had been a quiet comfort that Chan hadn’t appreciated at the time as much as he should have. 

He misses her.

It doesn’t feel the same. Chan finds himself playing a song and turning slightly to see what Y/n’s reaction is, or reading out a silly pick up line and then feeling his smile drop a little bit when he realises Y/n wasn’t there to hear it.

He’d like to say that he’s playing it off well, but Stays can see it too. It’s almost embarrassing how fast they catch on. The comments that scroll by, most of them too fast for Chan to read, are getting increasingly concerned for him. Where previously they had spammed messages about how happy he seemed, they’re now pointing out that he looks tired, that something is different. After enough people tell him to eat more or get more rest, he just ends the stream, annoyed and guilty at the same time.

—

Another time, Chan’s spending the evening in his studio with Changbin and Jisung, trying to finalise a guide for one of the tracks they’re planning to record.

“Oh hey, I didn’t know noona was close with Minyoung,” Jisung says. When Changbin makes a noise of interest from where he’s sitting beside Chan, Jisung flips around his phone to show them an Instagram story that Minyoung, one of their stylists, had posted. Y/n, Minyoung, Eunsung, and a number of other people are crammed together in a booth at a dimly lit restaurant. They’re all smiling widely.

Chan looks a little too long at the way that Eunsung’s arm is slung around Y/n. Even after Jisung takes his phone back, Chan keeps thinking of how natural it looked, Eunsung at the perfect height so Y/n could rest her head against him, his hand curled around her shoulder, pressing her tightly against his side.

He can't remember the last time he saw Y/n smile like that.

“It makes sense,” Changbin comments. “Y/n hasn’t been spending as much time in the dorms lately, but the tour is coming up so close. I’ve heard that her team has been going out a lot to try to keep up morale and get to know each other before we leave. It’d probably be suspicious if she keeps cancelling."

"I wish we could have team bonding dinners to keep up morale before the tour." Jisung pouts.

"That's what this is!" Changbin gestures towards the spread of empty takeout containers that fill Chan's desk.

"That's the dinner part, where's the bonding, hyung?"

In response, Changbin immediately pulls Jisung into a headlock causing him to shout.

"Don't you feel closer to me now?" Changbin looks up at where Chan is zoned out. "Hyung, don't we look close?"

"Uh, yeah. Super close. Can we just focus on finishing this guide first and leave the bonding for later? I promised that we'd send it for review by tonight."

Contrary to his words, Chan’s thoughts continually wander, straying to the blurry image of Y/n. They get the guide sent off, but Chan's not fully satisfied and he can tell the others agree.

He doesn’t know what's wrong with him.

—

Really, Chan should have known that something is up the evening he finds Felix over at their dorms.

A flare of something curls in his stomach at the sight of Y/n curled up against Felix. When she turns her head, nuzzling his chest, that something becomes a sharp twist of emotion, one that Chan still isn’t able to identify. 

He knows that Felix is strong enough to carry her to bed, but still steps in and scoops her up before he can make an attempt to get up. He lays her down on her side of the bed as gently as he can, but her face still scrunches up when he lets go of her. He cups her cheek until her expression smooths out, then steps back. 

When he returns to the living room, he joins Felix on the couch and they stare ahead at the darkened screen of the TV for a moment. Chan can tell that Felix has something he wants to say.

“Do you think she’s been working too much, hyung?” Felix finally asks in a hushed voice.

“What do you mean?”

“It just seems like she hasn’t been well recently. I don't know if something happened or if she just hasn't been getting enough rest.” 

“It’s probably her job,” Chan says noncommittally. He's definitely not thinking about a late night in his studio a few weeks ago. "Everyone has been busy these days.”

“Hyung,” he says tentatively. “You’ve been working a lot lately too, we’re a bit concerned-”

“What is this, some sort of intervention?” Chan’s not quite sure where the sudden burst of irritation is from, but it seems to be a common occurrence these days. “First Y/n, then I can’t get Stays off my back, and now you? Why is everyone ganging up on me so much?”

“No, it’s-”

“Felix! Just leave it, okay?" Shaking his head in frustration, Chan stalks back to his room.

Sitting heavily on the bed, he buries his face in his hands and lets out a deep breath to calm himself. Luckily he didn't wake Y/n during his conversation with Felix and he takes the time to study her for a moment.

He has to admit that Felix is right, under her eyes are shadows that never used to be there and even in her sleep, she's not fully relaxed. It's just for the next few days, he tells himself. After my deadlines have passed and once the concerts resume then we'll both be less busy and have the time to focus on each other.

In the meantime, he slides under the covers until he's right behind Y/n. He loops his arm around her waist, then pulls her closer, relieved when he sees that the tension in her body drains away.

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[thedepthsoffandomminds]

Episode eight - untapped potential

Masterlist

Jack Dawkins x fem reader

He would never be able to pinpoint the moment his eyes became so heavy that he fell asleep. Yet, it did take over him and soon it was morning you wake, bathed in the sunlight coming through the window and feel weight on your wrist. Jack seemed so carefree as he slept, curled on his side on your bed. What a sight you had woken to. You shift down to his level. Jack's eyes flicker open to meet yours.

"Belle says it's an aortic aneurysm, isn't it?" You whisper.

He clutches onto your hand. Jack can't speak, he wants to comfort you but hasn't got the words.

"Yes." He swallows the lump forming in his throat.

" And when it bursts, this is all over?"

"I don't wanna leave this world without knowing love fully." You say.

"You are loved. Fully." He assures you and you bring your lips to his. Your fingers start work on his shirt buttons. A look in his eyes asks you if you're sure and you nod. He spins you carefully on to your back resting above you and unties your nightgown.

*_*_*_*_*

"Some consider me innately cruel, but I simply see this as a necessary part of justice. For without the rope, society crumbles. The rope is the brute girdle that binds us up and keeps us safe. Yet the rope offers not just punishment, but salvation. Would you like to be saved, Mr. Fagin?" Gaines spoke.

" Very much, yes. What do you want?" Fagin asked with the noise around his neck

" Jack Dawkins."

*_*_*_*

"You can fix it. You and Belle. Astley Cooper performed the surgery 40 years ago. I read the case report." You say, cuddled into Jack's bare chest.

"He killed the patient." He reminded you.

"I know. I know, but medicine's changed. You changed it."

"y/n, there is a reason why the best surgeon in the century failed. You would die on the table." He held your face in his hand.

" I believe you can." You press him further.

"Please do not ask this of me." He begs you.

" So, what, you'll just hold my hand and see me into the next life? That's not good enough, Jack. Not if you really love me."

Your bedroom Door opens allowing your mother in, holding a tray.

"Here, darling, I've brought you some... " she gasps and rushes from the room. You look back at Jack before jumping out of bed. You both dress as fast as you can. A maid knocks on the door and enters.

"Lady Jane would like to see Doctor Dawkins in the study." She says, bowing her head to you.

"I love you." He replies before leaving the room. You drop down at your desk pulling a sheet of paper to you and start writing. When you're done you grab the closed suitcase and dart down to Belle's room.

"I love you." You say holding him to you. Jack kisses your lips.

"I need you to make me a promise." You say not giving her a chance to disagree.

"What's going on?" She asks.

You put the suitcase on her bed.

"You have to keep this safe. If I die give that and this letter to Jack. Read the letter to him." You correct yourself.

"If you die? Y/n no we won't let you! Jack won't let you" Belle was almost begging you. You shake your head and tears spill from you once again.

"I've ruined it all." You say.

*_*_*_*

"You're not to see my daughter again You pack your things, hand over your current patients to Dr. Sneed, and leave town by the end of the week." Lady Jane instructs Jack. He sits in the chair in front of the desk. He feels and looks small in the study.

"y/n is dying." He says catching himself on the words.

"So, you tell her she's dying to trick her into becoming your whore?" She spits the words at him.

"What?" The question had cut into him.

"Dr. Sneed examined her last night and found nothing wrong. Nervous strain. Eleven London doctors examined her supposed illness and found nothing." She explained to him.

"They are fools." He tries to fight back.

"But fools who can read." Lady Jane reminds him of his lacking knowledge.

"She wants me to operate. But that will kill her. I don't know what to do." He is begging your mother to understand, to listen to him. Every word he says breaking his heart apart.

"You stay silent. And you can thank God and my principles that the Governor will hear nothing of this. Otherwise, he'd certainly call for your head. Get out." She turns away from him and keeps it turned until she is sure he has left for town. Lady Jane wipes a tear from her eyes.

"We'll need to watch your waist. If it thickens, I'll find an excuse for you to visit your uncle in India for nine months. As long as nobody knows, we might be able to salvage your reputation." She says walking into your bedroom.

" You don't understand." You say turning to her.

" You're not dying. But you are being ruined and taken for a fool."

"Mother," Belle stepped between you. "Her aorta is swelling. Unless she has this surgery, it will rupture and she will bleed to death."

"Stop it! Just stop it! You are filling her head with nonsense. You are not a doctor Belle. I won't let you hurt yourself with that man." Lady Jane hissed and turned for the door.

" Then you'll get me killed." You call after her. Belle takes your hand.

"what do I do?" She asks.

"Make sure you know everything about this operation, he is going to need your help." You say.

*_*_*_*

"That's the rough end of the feather, that is." Fagin says to Jack, "No doubt about it."

"It's impossible. I can't see how to save her." Jack feels utterly alone in his despair, as if you had already left him.

"You see, I have an inkling of how that feels. Well, look at this pie. It's tasty, salty, bit of gristle, but otherwise, full of gravy. I'll enjoy it, it'll fill me heart, but then, it'll be gone. And I will take comfort knowing that just around the corner will be another pie." His aged companion said.

"You're seriously comparing the woman I love to one of Rotty's pies?" Jack huffed, ready to leave the table.

"Look. There are times in this life when we have to face the loss of something so precious, it makes the heart clench just to think of it. Love's frail, Dodge, it don't last. Especially not in our world. That's what gives it its pain. And it's also what gives it its shine because in the flickering of a glim, it's gone. I'm sorry, Dodge. Truly."

*_*_*_*

"Our daughter has lost her senses. Dawkins has convinced her that she has some appalling illness." Your mother tells the Governor.

"Now, now, calm down, Jane. I told her it's ridiculous."

The prof and Sneed are once again examining you. Sneed using his watch to count your pulse.

"This is a waste of my very limited time." You groan.

"Your mother asked for a full examination. So, here we are. Good news. You have a very treatable ulcer." Sneed announces to you.

" Nonsense. I have an expansive mass and a bruit. My aorta is whooshing. Listen. Please." Using the stethoscope he listens to the way your heart throbbed.

"Inconclusive." He says.

"You're an intelligent man. Why are you being a coward?" Belle repremanded him.

"I am a qualified doctor with years of experience and a degree from Oxford. It's an ulcer." He says through gritted teeth.

" To be a man, to not have to beg a lesser mind, to, "Please, sir, can you save my life?" You cry.

"Try and get some rest," he turns to Belle, "And I'll consider this outburst an emotional response to a trying day from.both of you."

" So, are you feeling better?" Your father shuffles across the room and sits beside you, taking up your hand, " 'Cause I wouldn't want anything to happen. Because I couldn't live with that. I just couldn't." He weeps.

"She needs bed rest for the ulcer to heal." Sneed tells Lady Jane.

"Yes, it would be, if it was, but in my clinical opinion... your daughter has a curable ulcer, and Dawkins has a great flair for the dramatic." He sighs at his own cowardous.

" And this aneurysm, is there anything in it?" She asks him. "Dawkins seems to think it might be rather bad."

Sneed looks over to you and Belle. A moment of consciousness titters through him. Could he be the one who shatters the Governor? Not even the Prof had dared.

She smiles at him, and glances back at her daughters. "My concern is that Belle may take matters into her own hands."

*_*_*_*

You had been locked in your bedroom for some time as had Belle. You hear gentle steps coming up the corridor.

"y/n? Y/n, are you all right?" She knocks on the door,

"Splendid!" You sigh.

"Would it cheer you to hear of my love for Mr. Oliver Twist? " Fanny tries to help.

"Go away!" You try not cry.

"y/n, just let me in."

"If it were that simple, I'd be letting myself out." You scoff.

" No, I mean, emotionally."

"You think I'm a madwoman, too?" You ask.

"No. You're the most brilliant person I know. Belle is beyond my capabilities as well, though she is a bit rude. But if you think you have this, and she does, then I believe you. And I'm scared because I do love you so. Even if you find me a bit annoying." She slips her fingers below the door and you touch yours to them.

"Fanny? I need your help." An idea had popped into your mind as a way to get Belle to the hospital.

Yours and Belle's rooms had an adjoining balcony with a spiral staircase leading down to the gardens. Fanny walked quietly towards the redcoat. She pretends to feel faint and begins to fall over. The guard runs to her and she keeps the act up until you and Belle run down the steps and away from the house.

You have to stop part way as your chest tightens once more. Belle holds onto you.

Finally at the hospital you dart down to the morgue where you find Jack already practicing.

"Jack?" Your voice is quiet. He looks up at you, staring as if he is seeing an angel.

"If you think it can be done," he nods to Belle, "and it is what you want y/n, then I will try. For you." He says, you rush forward, throwing your arms around him. Jack holds you close to him, his arms wrapping tightly around you. This felt like he could finally breath once more and he buries his face into your neck for a moment pressing soft kisses to your skin.

"You can read Prof's notes." He gestures his arm to the note book. His other arm still wrapped around you. Belle grabs up the book and starts reading. "Yes. Yes. Disagree with that. That's just plainly wrong. I don't need these." She drops the book on the table, "Found it from First Principles. What's important is to get the hand positions. Cut into the linea alba." She says. Jack helps you to a stool then darts to the cadava on the table.

"All right. I've got that far."

" Good. Now, make a small aperture into the peritoneum, insert your finger into the abdomen. Pass your finger between the intestines to the spine. And now, push the needle with the ligature behind it." Belle instructs him.

"So, just shove a needle through y/n's entire body without piercing anything." Jack looks at you.

"Take care not to nick the aorta." You say to him.

"I can't." Jack grunts.

"or break the spinal cord." Belle says.

" I can't do this blindly. I will paralyse you or I will kill you." Jack says to you removing the instruments from the body.

"No, it's doable." You say.

"Watch." Belle takes over, "There. Ligation's tied. No damage to the aorta or the spinal cord." She grins.

"Assuming that we can do this, how do I tie it tight enough to fix it, but not so tightly, it cuts the circulation off completely?"

" We'll fill the aorta with water and try." Belle suggests. you watch as they remove the heart and begin running water through the tubes. Your strong stomach will need a prize after watching this.

" Come on, we are so close." Belle says.

"Move"

"Clamped." Jack pulls away angrily as Belle continues.

"Jack!"

"Belle it doesn't work." He huffs.

"No." You came over and start moving things grabbing the equipment. Sure you knew what to do after watching them.

Jack takes your shoulders.

"Please, y/n stop." Belle calls to you.

" No!"

"Stop. It doesn't work." Jack pulls you backwards and you collapse against him. The two of you collapse to the ground.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry." Jack repeated, holding you to him as you both cry. Belle stands beside you both.

*_*_*_*

Returning home the two of step into the entrance hall and the chaos of your sister Fanny preparing her move to England. Trunks and bags were littered throughout the hall. Fanny looks up and sees you both, clocking the blood on Belle's hands.

"Oh, my God. What happened?"

" It's all right. It's someone else's." Belle replies.

" Did you do a murder? Is that why I broke you out?"

Belle doesn't reply. You see your mother by the stairs and walk up to her. Without a word you pull her into a hug, resting your head on her shoulder. Taking your hand she leads you back to your room.

"This will seem like cruelty, my darling, but I promise you, it's care." She tried to reassure you.

"Don't bother locking it. I'm not going anywhere." You sighs falling on to your bed. There seems to be nothing that can help you and you lay waiting for your fate.

Fanny comes into you and perches on your bed.

"I will miss coming to you, but I am so happy." She says. Turning you sit up and take her hands in yours.

"Fanny, you have the most beautiful soul, made only better by your face. I am going to miss seeing you every day. Try not to think of me too often." You tell her. Your sister understands your meaning.

"y/n, how could I not think of you every day? My first daughter will have your name so I might have just a little of you beside me." She grins and wipes away the tears. You hug her to you and you tell her you love her before she leaves for her new life.

You were sure she would flourish as a wife and Oliver did seem to be an agreeable man. Jack had known him from a long time ago. You decided that should you have the time you would have him tell you all about his life before he joined the navy. Pushing yourself from the bed you change from your dress into a simple chemise and your blue dressing gown. You wanted to be comfortable as you wrote out a letter to each member of your family.

With three done you ignore the spinning of your eyes and try to focus on your work. Your hand slips and knocks the ink pot over.

"damn." You say ripping the paper away to keep it from getting stained. Looking around you see another inkpot on your desk. Standing up you feel a tingle in your toes.

"no." You say to yourself and try to walk. Your foot is too heavy and you can't lift it. The blurring in your eyes becomes too much and you stumble against the table, knocking more things to the floor. You can no longer keep yourself up.

"No, Jack." You fall to the ground. With no strength to pull yourself up you lie awake on the green carpet. A cold is creeping into your skin. The tingle in your feet, becomes numbness until you can no longer feel them at all. Sure this was the moment you would die you began to pray, not for yourself or your soul, but for your family and Jack.

"y/n" his voice cut through the fog in your mind and he turned your limp body. "No, y/n" he grabs you up into his arms, a pistol in one hand.

"come on, stay with me." He begs you as he runs down the steps of your large house. Belle hears his steps and comes running out.

"What's happening?" She asks following Jack out to the delivery cart outside. He lays you into it and Belle gets beside the driver

"Drive, fast " she commands him. Jack has you in his lap, your head cradles against his body.

"stay with me y/n, please don't go yet." He repeats his plea to you all the way to the hospital.

Rushing inside, everyone who knows you turns to watch.

"Hetty! Prepare the surgery!" Belle shouts to the nurse as Jack carries you into the theatre

He lays you on the table, his hands cupping your face. Around him Belle and Hetty were rushing to gather everything he would need.

Sneed runs in.

"What on earth-"

Belle grabs him, "Rainsford, stop. Let us do this and I'll marry you as soon as you want." She says to him. He nods and backs up.

Jack presses a kiss to your forehead and you whimper, breath struggling to reach your lungs.

"I'm going to save, you okay. " He whispers to you. You nod as much as you could. " I love you. " Jack says again before placing the ether mask to your face. Everything for you goes black.

*_*_*_*

You began to dream, strange moments of fantasy and reality mixing together in swirls of bliss. At first your eyes are heavy and refuse to open so you stay and listen to your mother saying a prayer.

"Father, this is not okay. You must release Jack from prison." Belle implores her father.

"Governor, with all respect he saved your daughter's life. I was too afraid to tell you the truth before but, your daughter would have been dead if this operation had not happened." Sneed finally stands up for his beliefs.

"And no one else could have done it?" The governor asks.

"No, none of us are even an inch close to his skill. Your wife has sent the greatest surgeon of this century to his death." He repeats his previous words.

You can't tell why, but as you listen to them the feel of the room changes and you know you need to open your eyes. Your eyelids flick a few times before you focus on the ceiling above you. Instinctively you turn your head and see Jack outside the window.

"Jack." You say catching your family's attention.

"Let me see him?" You ask your father.

"No!" Lady Jane protests.

"let him in, let's give them some time." Your father says directing his family out of the door. Jack rushes in and drops down beside the bed taking your hands.

"What happened?" You ask seeing the blood and chains on his hands.

"your mother." He says. "I needed to know you were alive."

"You saved me." You say smiling at him, "I thought I was going to die without seeing you." Tears prick at your eyes.

"I would never let that happen." He kisses you. "I love you." He says.

"I love you too."

Jack tells you how the operation went and how Sneed had actually assisted him alongside Belle. You smiled as he talked, finally feeling like the two of you might have some peace.

The door opened, your father stepping in.

"I'm sorry my little dove, I have to break this up " he speaks solomnly.

"Why?" You ask.

"It is time for Jack to go. The guards are here for him." He explains. You shake your head.

"No, he did nothing wrong, father!" You begin to protest.

"y/n, it's okay. I'll go." Jack squeezes your hand. He presses one more kiss to your lips before pulling away. As he passed your father the governor stopped him.

"I'm sure this will all sort itself out soon enough, lad. Thank you for saving my daughter."

Jack gives him a quick nod, glances once more back to you before leaving.

Your father comes over to you and takes Jack's earlier place.

"Shall we settle all this silliness now?" He asks.

"Daddy, I love you but you need to use your backbone. Mother did not put you in your position, do not let her rule you. If Jack does not get out of prison I will return to England. If he stays I'll stay and with the money you gave me I will marry him. You cannot stop me. If he does I will never speak to you again." You say in the strongest voice you can muster. Your father sighs and pats your leg.

"There is no one I would rather lose you to." He grins and you know everything will be okay in the end. Little did you know what was happening at the harbour, or in the prison.

End of series one

Episode nine

@fandomfan-102

[ashintheairlikesnow]

🧤 Invasive/Uncomfortable exam for Rafael

CW: BBU, medical whump, medical setting, dubcon touching (nonsexual), discussions of dubcon/noncon, BBU, pet whump

-

"What seems to be the nature of the problem?" The doctor isn't asking him. No one ever asks Rafael questions - he's just a pet, after all, barely human.

A human-shaped sex toy. Like a vibrator that needs to be fed three times a day. He hums, a sound like a flat vibration, and then smiles, a little dreamily, at the internal joke.

Everyone ignores him.

"Someone went rough on him last night," Boscoe says with a shrug. His master's favorite and highest-level servant, paid a small fortune to handle these sorts of things in his absence, pretending that it wasn't him who went so rough, that he isn't the reason Rafael is here right now.

Rafael slept alone in the big bed last night, once Boscoe was done with him, and he barely slept at all. The ache still throbbing and spiking through his lower half has as much to do with that as the loneliness.

The clinician looks at Boscoe with eyebrows raised above her glasses, waits a beat, and then primpts, "Any more detail than that?"

"Nope." Boscoe shrugs again, gives a half-cocked grin. "Sorry, I'm just the household manager. Mr. and Mrs. Isbell went on vacation in Europe."

They had kissed him, each of them, and then left him lying in the bed, trying not to cry. Boscoe had come in an hour later, and told him to make noise, as much as he wanted.

So he did.

He never tells his masters about Boscoe hurting him when they're gone, because only with Boscoe is Rafael ever allowed to scream.

"Fine." The doctor looks Rafael over, without distaste or judgement but with absolutely no feeling at all. It's almost nice, to have someone who doesn't need to tell him he's pretty, or that he looks like a good slut, or any of the things the people around his masters seem to believe are compliments. "All right, you, lay down on your back for me and just scoot those hips right to the edge."

"Yes, ma'am," He responds, laying back on the padded exam table easily, even allowing his back to arch with graceful, perfectly feigned thoughtless seduction as he slips his heels into the leather stirrups and moves his arms slowly over his head, shifting until his ass nearly hangs off the edge.

"Good boy," The doctor says absently. Rafael shivers a little with pleasure at the praise, keeping his eyes closed and biting down on his lower lip. It's a trained reaction, one that's thoughtless by now, but it's never really instinct.

The nurse, an older woman, doesn't even look at him as she takes her place at the end of the table. The doctor grunts as she puts on blue latex gloves and smears clear lubricant on her fingers. "Hold steady, pet. This might cause some discomfort."

Rafael wants to ask her if there is anything you can do to him that doesn't.

He keeps his mouth shut, though.

Boscoe is still watching him with his arms crossed where he stands against the wall. Rafael chances only the slightest glance, looking away when he sees Boscoe's eyes trailing over the welts left along Rafael's ribs from the night before, the bite marks so deep they've bruised in the shape of teeth on one hip.

"His owner signed off on the use of his body?" The doctor asks as she slides the first finger inside. Rafael bites his lower lip harder to keep himself quiet, because it doesn't feel uncomfortable - it stings, torn skin protesting yet another invasion.

"Yes," Boscoe lies easily. Then, to add a kernel of truth, "They often allow their friends or business partners to use him."

Not their employees, though, but that's never stopped Boscoe. And Rafael knows how to keep secrets, knows how to trade his silence in front of the masters for the ability to weep when they're gone.

One finger becomes two, then three, the pain rising, and Rafael can't hold back the softest whimper no matter how hard he tries. "Ma'am-... Ma'am, I-"

"Sssshhh," The doctor shushes him harshly, and Rafael swallows back any thin, weak protest against her touch he might have been able to manage. "I know. I can tell this is hurting you."

She doesn't stop, though. She gets a small silver tool out, rubs it over in the same lubricant, and then forces that inside, too.

When Rafael cries out, the nurse slaps a hand over his mouth to muffle him, glaring down at him at his vision blurs with tears. His chest heaves, panting with the need for this to stop, to stop hurting, just to give him a minute to prepare himself for it.

But no one listens to him.

It's not like he's a person, anyway.

[clarkes-and-god]

Cherish's Diary:

I don't know what to do. Tobias has been arrested for assaulting a public officer, and there's no way we can get him out. His bail is $5,000! He keeps phoning me about it, and I feel so bad but there's no way I can even pay the $500 to get a bond for him. I have some tips from work, but they make up barely half of that, and there's nothing in the bank account he's been managing. Only all the stupid stuff he buys, and I can't really give a bondsman video game skins and packs of cigarettes. I did ask Momma and Daddy if they could help pay it, and we'd pay them back soon, but Daddy reminded me that I'm grown and I should have managed the finances better and saved some money to prepare for this sort of stuff. That's what he always told me growing up, and I know he's right; but Tobias said he wanted to manage the money, and I can't argue with him, he's my husband! I could ask Esther, but I'd feel awful asking an elderly widow to pay for things that are my responsibility, and I don't think she has much to spare herself, with that boy who does the yard work for church looking after her.

I know Tobias is a good man really, he just gets a bit worked up sometimes, and that's what happened when that social worker came over. He just was upset that our kids might have been at risk! I mean, to me the social worker seemed nice, but men's brains work differently, so maybe he realised there was an issue and I didn't. I just hope whoever is in charge of sentencing him understands the situation and isn't harsh, seeing as it was just a mistake. We really need him at home, he's so sweet when he's happy, and I don't think we can do without the money he gives me from Christ Chicken. Luckily, I've told my manager that my schedule changed and she's given me some extra shifts. So we should be ok for now, but I do need to ask someone to watch Neveah and Travis.

The kids are all shook up from what happened! Poor Mandy is just in hysterics because she thinks it's all her fault -- she told her teacher what she was doing at the weekend and the teacher didn't seem happy according to her. Honestly, I wasn't too happy when she said that Tobias had left her all alone with the little ones -- she's still only 7 -- but I will have to tell her not to talk about things like that to people who won't understand. I'll leave it until she's a little less upset though, I don't think she'd cope with that sort of talk at the moment. For now, she's been praying for her Daddy, which is very sweet of her.

Tyson and Neveah haven't been any better. Tyson has got such an attitude, he won't listen to anything I say. He's been moping in his room and yelling at his siblings. And after school today, his teacher pulled me aside and said he had to be sent out for distracting the class! I know he's always been loud and energetic at school, he's a boy after all, but that's never happened before! The teacher did say he understood with the situation at home, but I can't believe it. He's always been such a sweet boy and now he's just being awful! I'm praying it resolves itself soon, and Mandy starts coping a little better, because it's honestly horrible to be in the house with the two of them. They're just setting each other off at the minute, and then that upsets Neveah and Travis. I think poor Neveah doesn't understand enough to know what's going on, but she knows something's changed and Daddy's not here anymore, and it's really upsetting her. She's normally such an independant little girl, but it's like she's gone back to being a baby. She won't let me leave her alone, and she's not sleeping through the night. She's slept through the night since she was about 8 months old! And if I do leave her alone, she's just breaking all the toys or trying to ruin the furniture. I feel like I need 3 extra pairs of hands to deal with them all at the minute. I know they must be missing their Daddy, but I am too, and they're not easy to parent just now. Lord, I am praying that everything will go smoothly for Tobias and we can all go back to normal soon, because I don't think I can manage all on my own for long. You designed man and wife to be joined together in marriage and not seperated, and I am really feeling why You designed it that way with these struggles at the moment. Please give me strength.

[hisxloverx]

The gold//hazbin hotel / helluva boss

In which stolas's twin sister is forced into a marriage just like him however she has a good relationship with her husband and is friends with blitz and hangs out with them all the time

001| loo loo land

The scene opens to a shot of the exterior of Stolas's mansion at night, before cutting to the master bedroom where Stolas and Stella are asleep. A young Octavia's frightened voice can be heard from offscreen

Young Octavia(offscreen) Mummy! Daddyyyy!

Stolas is roused from his sleep. He turns to Stella who has most of the blanket

Stolas sleepily says: Mmph. Via's calling us, Stella.

Stella sleepily, annoyed said: You get up.

Stolas sighs and gets out of bed. He enters Octavia's room, where she is hiding beneath her blankets

Stolas: Via? What troubles you, my owlet?

Young Octavia says while sobbing :Daddy! Daddy!

Young Octavia climbs down from her bed and runs into her father's arms. Stolas hoists her up to comfort her

Young Octavia still sobbing then says : I had a dream! A really bad dream!

Stolas yawns and wipes away Octavia's tear, correcting her A nightmare.

Young Octavia then tell her dad about her nightmare: I was looking all over the palace, and... I couldn't find you anywhere! You weren't there!

Stolas: *rubs Octavia on the back comfortingly* There there, Via, it's okay. You're okay.

Stolas summons his grimoire to him telekinetically as he walks Octavia back to bed.

When you're scared, and you don't know where I am, you must remember...

Stolas's grimoire floats over to him. He telekinetically flips it open

No matter what happens to me, I will never be far away... from my special little starfire.

Stolas begins singing a lullaby to little Octavia

♫ It always seems more quiet... in the dark ♫

Stolas opens a portal above himself and Octavia. She looks up in awe of the beauty of space through the portal

♫ It always feels so stark... how silence grows under the moon ♫

Stolas and young Octavia float up through the portal and into the cosmos, landing on a barren moon

♫ Constellations gone so soon ♫

♫ I used to think that I was bold ♫

Walking across the moon, Stolas leaves footprints in the dust.

♫ I used to think love would be fun ♫

♫ Now, all my stories have been told. Except for one... ♫

Stolas looks down at young Octavia, and she looks back with her large, curious eyes. Her gaze shifts to a pink glow to her side.

♫ As the stars start to align ♫

♫ I hope you take it as a sign that you'll be okay ♫

A meteor begins its descent towards a giant, pink colored star

♫ Everything will be okay ♫

The meteor makes contact with the pink star, and begins to sink beneath the molten surface

♫ And if the Seven Rings collapse ♫

Multiple planetary bodies begin gravitating toward the pink star, including the moon that Stolas and Octavia currently reside on, which eventually shatters into pieces as the star's gravity pulls on it

♫ Although, the day could be my last. You will be okay ♫

Young Octavia yawns and falls asleep contentedly against her father's chest

♫ When I'm gone, you'll be okay... ♫

Distant planetary bodies fly through the cosmos, pulled in by the pink star's incredible gravitational pull. They

disintegrate upon impact and causes the star to explode in a powerful supernova just as the portal closes behind Stolas causing him to sing louder.

♫ And when Creation goes to die ♫

♫ You can find me in the sky ♫

Stolas drapes the sleeping Octavia in a blanket.

♫ And you will be okay... ♫

His lullaby finished, Stolas leaves as his young daughter settles to sleep, content. Cut to several years later, where a teenage Octavia is jolted awake by smashing objects and her parents screaming at each other, far less content.

___________________________

Stella: (offscreen) I can't believe you slept with an imp, in OUR FUCKING BED!

Octavia, annoyed at being disturbed, gives a long groan

Stolas: (offscreen) It was unexpected! I didn't have time to go to a motel

Stella: (offscreen) A motel?! Like a fucking PLEBEIAN?!

Octavia grabs her phone and puts in earbuds, playing "My World Is Burning Down Around Me" to tune out the screaming as she strides down the

halls of the Goetia estate, stepping over the smashed remains of a plant thrown in her path. In the kitchen, Stella continues screaming at Stolas

Stella: You want to fuck this one, TOO?!

[Stella grabs an imp servant and violently tosses him in Stolas' direction.]

Stolas: No! Of course not!

Stella: You are a goddamn embarrassment! I'm not spending another moment looking at your pathetic, IMP-SUCKING FACE!!

Stella storms out of the room, shouting angrily the entire time, and smashing more potted plants. Stolas sighs in exhausted exasperation before he notices his daughter has entered the kitchen.

Stolas: Good mooorning, Octavia! Did you sleep well, my owlet?

Octavia then asks her dad : Was that a serious question?

Stolas opens the refrigerator to retrieve a massive chunk of zebra meat

Stolas: Mm-hmm... What's that you're listening to?

Octavia: This song is called "My World is Burning Down Around Me". It's by Fuck You Dad.

Stolas looks down, thinking the name of the band his daughter mentioned is a hurtful remark.

Octavia then tell her dad : It's a band.

Stolas: *bemusedly* Ohhhh! How charming...

Stolas grabs the zebra meat and feeds it to a massive potted plant situated in a small alcove off the kitchen as he pets it. Sated, it falls dormant, closing its three eyes.

Octavia: So, you two done screaming for the day? *she then sips her coffee*

Stolas: Umm...

Stella lets out another scream of anger and another potted plant is heard shattering in the distance.

Stolas: You know what I haven't done in a long, loooong time? I haven't taken you to your favorite place in all of Hell! Why don't we go to Loo Loo Land?

Octavia: I'm not five anymore.

Stolas: You always were so happy when I took you to Loo Loo Land! What do you say we go there again, have a day, I'll even call you're aunt Athena to see if she wants to come with us it would be just the three of us?

Octavia: I'd... rather kill myself but I do miss aunt Athena.

Stolas: There we go! Anything but staying in this house. Stolas call's his twin sister first she asked her husband

first and he said it was okay so she said she'll come stolas tells his daughter then says Now, I'll arrange our security.

Octavia: Security for a theme park?

Stolas: We are rich, and we're hot. People want our money and our bodies!

Octavia grabs a box of cereal on the table and begins shoveling handfuls into her mouth.

Octavia: *under her breath* Our money, maybe.

Stolas: Speak for yourself, princess. Now... I'm calling the only man who can f*** me!

Octavia: *then drops the handful of cereal, disgusted* What...?

Stolas: *immediately backpedaling* Who can protect me! Us! Being part of the Goetia family is rather valuable, you know.

Octavia groans and pulls her beanie down over her eyes.

___________________________

Cut to I.M.P Headquarters, where Blitzo is busy doing very important work in his office, involving crude representations of Millie and Moxxie made out of office supplies that he

puppets around and speaks with. Between them is a framed photo of Blitzo with a robe pulled down off his shoulders seductively and a flower between his teeth. The text reads "#1 Bitch" with "BOSS" written in red over it

Blitzo: *impersonating Millie* "Oh, Blitzo! You're such a good boss!" *impersonating Moxxie* "Yeah, I really want you, sir." *impersonating Millie* "Me, too!" *As himself* Let's three-way!

Blitzo lowers his "employees" below his desk to crotch level, looking momentarily pleasured before being interrupted by the ringing of his Hellphone

He then answers what phone angrily: WHAT?!

Stolas: *lustfully* Why, hello, my big-dicked Blitzy.

Both Blitzo and Octavia spit out their coffee in sheer surprise. Blitzo slams his "BOSS BITCH" mug onto his desk

Blitzo: What--

Octavia: the--

Blitzo: FUCK--

Octavia: Dad?!

Stolas: Language, everyone! *into the phone* I have a special request~

Blitzo: Aw... Look, I just had a chemical peel. So, you'll have to find someone else's face to plant that feathered ass.

Stolas: It's for my daughter.

Blitzo: Ah. Well, make sure she washes it.

Stolas: *taken aback* No! No, no-no-no. I'm taking my daughter and Athena to Loo Loo Land, and I was hoping you brave little Imps would accompany us!

Blitzo: We're assassins, not bodyguards, 'kay? Don't invite us to shit unless someone's gonna die.

Stolas: I'll pay you~

Blitzo: Pay me what?

Stolas: Moneyyyy~

Blitz then says : done!

Blitz hangs up and accidentally slams his phone down on the desk hard enough to smash it to pieces. After a brief annoyed glance at it, he pulls out a megaphone

Blitzo: M n' M, get in here! We're goin' to Loo Loo Land!

Moxxie opens the door to respond.

Loo loo land? He questions confused

Millie excitedly smashes her head straight through the office door's glass

Loo loo land ?!! says says excitedly with stars in her eyes

Blitzo: Loo Loo Land!

Loona: (offscreen) SHUT THE FUCK UP!!

___________________________

Cut to Loo Loo Land. A van with an I.M.P decal spray painted on the side pulls into the rather empty parking lot. Moxxie exits the van and opens the side door. A very cramped Stolas extracts

himself excitedly. His daughter exits the van far less excitedly. Athena then gets out and pats her niece's back lightly as to reassure her that it's going to be okay

Stolas dons an apple-themed hat and gestures toward the park gate. Octavia groans and pulls her hat low over her face

Blitzo: Now, remember: this is work and work only. Me and my crew are not here to satisfy your perverted bird needs, alright?

Octavia: *disgustedly* Hey... Dad... Do we have to--?

Blitzo: Okay, yeah. Hold on right there, sweetie. [turns to Stolas] If you try fuckin' my little ass in that park, I swear to--

Athena: okay blitz maybe don't talk about this in front of me or my niece please I don't want to hear about this and nether does via

Stolas then says to blitz:You are so cute when you are serious!

Octavia then says : I'm literally gonna be sick. As her aunt says that she feels like throwing up

Moxxie: Oh, crumbs! I knew today would be a lot! What do you need?

Moxie fishes around in a fanny pack and throws out several pill bottles as he lists off his inventory.

Moxxie: Anti-acids? Ibuprofen?

Moxxie shows the aunt and niece several hypodermic needles of a glowing, acid green substance.

Moxxie: Morphine?

Octavia: what we said was figurative, old man.

Moxxie: Oh, right.

Moxxie chuckles sheepishly as he discards the needles into a nearby baby carriage, where a baby imp happily reaches out to play with its dangerous new "toys

Moxxie: *under his breath* But, she said it was literal.

Millie: *excitedly* Wooooow! I haven't been to this place since I was a tot!

A large letter falls off the sign of a nearby ride, crushing the teenaged imp underneath.

Millie: It hasn't changed a bit. Ohhh! LOOK! It's Big Woobly!

Millie gestures toward a hideously malformed animatronic dinosaur, which opens its mouth and lets out a terrifying, demonic shriek.

Moxxie: That is... deeply upsetting.

Millie: Oh, come on! It's fun! You've never been here?

Moxxie: No. Theme parks always disturbed me, especially the mascots.

The park's mascot, Loo Loo appears out of nowhere behind Moxxie.

Loo Loo: Well, hey there!

Moxxie: *jumps back in terror* AAAAAH!!

Loo Loo: I'm Loo Loo! Welcome to Loo Loo Land! If y'all get hurt here, just try and sue us!

Stolas: *gasps* Look! Via,Thena! It's Loo Loo!

Octavia: I have a question.

Loo Loo: Well, ask away, little girlie! A-hyuk a-hyuk a-hyuk!

Octavia: Is it true this park is just a really shameless spin-off of Lucifer's far more popular Lu Lu World?

Loo Loo: *beat* No?

Athena then whispers to her niece : This place reeks of insecure corporate shame.

Octavia: that is true aunt Athena that is true

Stolas chuckles nervously as he leads Octavia and Athena away

Stolas: Why don't we go check out the rides?

Loo Loo: those chick's are creepy, huh?

Blitzo: Eh, wait till the kids dad tries to diddle your holes.

Loo Loo: *to Millie and Moxxie* What's that mean?

Moxxie: Don't talk to me! I know you're a pervert under there!

Moxxie leaves, leading Millie off with him. Loo Loo hangs his body dejectedly.

Loo Loo: Yeah...

Moxxie and Millie head down a pathway, and Moxxie, sweating profusely, stops to catch his composure

Moxxie: You really like this place, huh?

Millie: I love this place! My parents would bring me and my siblings here when they could swing it. Money-wise.

Moxxie looks over to see a worker wheeling a wheelbarrow piled to the brim with money into a nearby giftshop. As The two approach the

window, where novelty cups and stuffed apples are for sale. The cups appear to cost at least 29 souls per.

Moxxie: Yeaaaah. The prices do seem rather criminal. I mean, that much for a novelty cup that you use one time?

Millie: 'Cause, it's Loo Loo Land!

Blitzo walks up, having loaded up on merch, including a novelty cup, as well as a hat with attached can holders and straws.

Blitz then nudges Moxxie with his cup then says: Listen to your hoe, Mox.

Blitz takes a swig from his novelty cup.

Blitz: How 'bout I take the first watch while you two have a little he takes off his sunglasses and winks fun?

Millie: OOOOOH! We gotta do my favorite ride!

Moxxie: Oh, yeah? Wh- which one?

Cut to a shot of a lone imp riding a roller coaster named "The Lawsuit" that suddenly plunges off a sheer 90-degree drop at incredible speed while also on

fire and with its rider hanging on for dear life. The coaster violently plunges into a tunnel in the ground.

Moxxie: *terrified* Oh, crumbs!

[Cut to Moxxie vomiting into a trash can after having left the ride. A vomit-covered family walks by in the background, glaring disapprovingly at Moxxie. A massive dragon-like creature from the nearby petting zoo looms overhead, also glaring at Moxxie.]

In another part of the park, Stolas, Octavia & athena walk along the path, as Blitz takes up positions all around them with his rifle, on the lookout for any danger.

A group of imps creep up behind the booths, ropes, knives, and pitchforks at the ready. They quickly scatter as Blitzo looks in their direction.

___________________________

Stolas strokes Blitz's horn and says: You know, it's quite thrilling to see you on the job, Blitzy.

Blitzo: Save it, bitch. I'm working.

Octavia then says : You both need to get a room. To which her aunt nods and hugs her niece to comfort her to which she smiles at her

Blitzo then says go the pair: Hey, I am not a day-hooker!

A woman walking nearby with her baby glares at Blitzo before continuing on in a huff.

Blitzo: What? I just said I'm not one, prude! He then Flips her off

Stolas then gasps and says : Oh! Look, Via!

Stolas points excitedly at the circus tent. A demon mother is struggling to pull her crying son into the tent.

Stolas: You used to cry such tears of joy at this show!

Octavia: *panicked* Oh, no...

Cut to a flashback to Octavia as a

young girl, as she is pushed against the stage by an excited crowd of imp children, as Robo Fizz sparks and cackles

maniacally leering over Octavia, who soon breaks into tears. A younger Blitzo is seen in the background tending to a food cart, dressed and painted as a clown, scowling

Cut back to the present.

Blitzo & Octavia: I hate that fucking clown.

Pan to Stolas, who has been captured and hoisted aloft by the crew of imps from earlier. Stolas' arms are bound

and his head is covered by a cloth sack, and the imps are pointing various weapons at him. One has stolen Stolas' wallet.

Stolas unconcerned then says: Oh, Blitzy~ I need my bodyguard, please!

One imp jumps, to try and skewer Stolas with a pitchfork. Blitzo quickly brings his rifle to bear, shooting the imp in the torso, splattering Stolas's head with blood. The other imps quickly scatter.

Octavia enters the big top and finds seat while athena sits beside her as Blitzo carries Stolas in, head still covered in the blood-soaked sack, sets him down, and walks off to take

position. Stolas makes no move to remove the sack, until Octavia annoyedly rips it off her father's head.

___________________________

Robo Fizz: *glitching and sparking* Hey-hey-hey-hey-heyyyy, Implings! It's me, the Robotic Fizzarolli! Shipped from Big Ozzie's factory to bring you a wonderful show celebrating Loo Loo Land, spelled with Os, to avoid lawsuits! H-H-H-H-H-Hit it!

Stage lights turn on and point at Robo Fizz as he begins to dance and sing a song of the same name as the park

♫ Loo Loo Land, Loo Loo Land! ♫

The curtains open to reveal Robo Fizz's band, FizzaRolli 'n Friends, composed of various hideously decrepit animatronics, including Big Woobly on guitar

♫ Everybody sing along with the Loo Loo band ♫

Robo Fizz goes around pointing and gesturing at various demons in the audience. Stolas looks excited when Robo Fizz gets to him, but this is short-lived as Blitzo pops up and points his rifle at Robo Fizz, who dashes back to the stage.

♫ Ev'ry boy, ev'ry girl, ev'ry woman, ev'ry man loves Loo Loo Laaand! ♫

Platforms in the stage rise up in time with the music.

Robo Fizz: ♫ Loo Loo Land, Loo Loo Land! ♫

♫ Everything is beautiful at Loo Loo Land ♫

♫ Ugly children holdin' hands in Loo Loo Laaand! ♫

Robo Fizz grabs various Imp children out of the audience and wraps them up in a big hug, before jumping up and tossing them away. Most of the children slam into the bleachers, while one soars behind them.

♫ Everybody's friendly, ♫

Robo Fizz hugs Big Woobly so hard that its neck breaks a bit more than it already had been

♫ And nobody is mean ♫

Robo Fizz dashes over to the two-headed, banjo-playing bear animatronic and slaps it in the back. The animatronic then squirts a stream of oil from its bigger head at the face of an Imp in the bleachers attempting to drown out the song with music from his phone

♫ No copyright infringement's ever seeen ♫

Robo Fizz dumps a gasoline canister onto a large stack of cease-and-desist papers, lights a match, and throws the match and the canister at the stack, setting the whole thing ablaze.

♫ I have a dream... ♫

♫ (He has a dream) ♫

♫ I'm here to tell... ♫

♫ (He's here to tell) ♫

♫ About a magical, fantastic place called Loo Loo Laaaaand! ♫

Octavia is sitting beside her aunt and is absorbing the musical with disgusted boredom. Outside, Moxxie and Millie walk along a row of game booths, when they are addressed by one of the vendors. Millie gleefully yanks Moxxie over towards the booth

___________________________

Carnie Imp: Hello, hello! Step right up and win a thing!

Millie gasps excitedly and says: Oh, look, Moxxie! A THING!

The "thing" in question is some sort of purple stuffed penguin creature with Imp horns, wearing pink overalls. The stuffed animal is labeled with a tag that says "THING?"

Moxxie: Oh, you like that thing?

Millie: YEEEEESSS! I don't really know what that thing is but I want that thing!

Moxxie then smugly says: Ahhh... Finally, something I can handle.

Moxxie takes out some money and hands it to the carnie

Moxxie: Okay! One game, puh-lease!

The carnie Imp rolls his eyes and uses his tail to hand Moxxie a pistol with a cork projectile in the muzzle. Moxxie does not even line up the shot, instead looking to his wife as he effortlessly hits the target right in the bullseye.

Unbeknownst to Moxxie, the target barely moves. He makes a "ricochet" noise with his mouth and blows the black powder smoke clear of the gun, pleased with his marksmanship.

Carnie Demon: Ohhhh! Strike one, little man!

Moxxie: But, I hit it!

Carnie Imp: Hmmm, I don't know what to tell ya, buddy. The target, see? It didn't go down. So, yeah...! No go, bro.

Moxxie growls in anger, and fishes another bill out of his pocket. He grabs the pistol and fires another cork, hitting the target dead-center. The target does not budge. Moxxie slaps the pistol in annoyance.

Moxxie: The Heaven's wrong with this thing?!

Carnie Imp: Oh, man. A real shame, I tell ya. He then mockingly cries

Moxxie hisses in anger as he slaps another bill on the counter.

Moxxie: Another!

___________________________

Cut back to the Robo Fizz show. Stolas is gleefully clapping to the music, while Octavia has thrown her head back in torment as her aunt has her head in her hands while Octavia is banging her fist on the seat next to her opposite Athena

♫ --body sing along with the Loo Loo band! Ev'ry boy, ev'ry girl, ev'ry woman, ev'ry man loves Loo Loo Laaaaaaand! ♫

The show ends with a small pyrotechnic display as Robo Fizz cackles maniacally. The bear animatronic faceplants onto the stage and falls to pieces. Stolas claps and cheers even harder

Stolas: Ah hohohoho ho ho ho ho ho, how delightful!

Behind Stolas, an imp armed with a kris dagger rises from beneath the seats ready to stab Stolas, but the top of his

head is quickly blown apart by a shot from Blitzo, who has taken up a position in the gallery behind the back row of seats while Imps scream in absolute fear and run away.

Stolas: *flirtatiously* Oh, my! What aim you have, Blitzy.

Octavia furious then says along with her aunt : Ugh! We can't do this anymore!

Octavia and Athena storm off, with Stolas following behind them as Blitzo cycles his rifle, and prepares to give chase after his charges

Robo Fizz: Mua ha ha ha ha hoho-oh! Is that Blitzo pronounced as spelled my sensors spot up the-e-e-ere? I bet the kiddies are still running away from you, huh? He then laughs

Blitzo: The 'o' is silent now!

Robo Fizz: A-A-Awwwww, just like your audience always was when you to-told your lazy jokes here! He laughs again

Blitz then  removes his visors and throws them on the ground as he continues his argument with Robo Fizz.

Blitzo: Bitch, I make more money killing people than you do being a cheap-ass robo ripoff of an overrated sellout JESTER!

Robo Fizz glitching then says: Oohoohoo! Someone's salty! Real or not, though, people lo-o-ove me! Does anybody love you... *low demonic voice* BLITZ-0?

Blitzo: No. But, I'm really good with guns now. Dance, bitch!

Blitzo slams a new magazine into his rifle, switches it to full-auto and opens up on Robo Fizz, who cartwheels out of the way of the incoming rounds. Robo

Fizz rapidly spins like a wheel rolling up the stair to where Blitzo is. He coils himself around Blitzo like a snake, before using his own momentum to launch Blitzo through the top of the tent.

Blitzo: Ohhhh, FUCK MEEEEEEE...!

Outside, Wally Wackford rolls a cart of lit torches in by the tent.

Wally: Torches, I say, I say! Get your inconvenient torches here!

Blitzo lands on the cart, scattering the torches everywhere, which lights the top of the tent on fire.

Wally: Owww! I say, OWWWW!

The green fire very rapidly spreads to all corners of the park. Burning and melting animatronics flee the tent as Robo Fizz cackles and spins his head with demonic glee at the destruction.

Elsewhere, the carnie Imp at the shooting gallery holds 600 souls of Moxxie's money, with Moxxie himself glaring at him with seething anger

___________________________

Carnie Imp: Wow! Man, you're really starting to make this sad. Y'know, if you suck, you suck! Guess you won't win your honey here a prize...

Millie: Let me try!

Millie grabs the pistol and fires a cork at a target, which misses wildly. The carnie Imp grins mischievously, and presses a foot pedal in the booth, which causes a target to fall down.

Carnie Imp: Ohhhh, look at that! Lucky shot, baby.

Moxxie: Are you kidding me?! You- you- you charlatan!

Carnie Imp: Hey, uh, get lost, pipsqueak. I'm talkin' to the lady~

The carnie Imp leans toward Millie and makes a seductive purring sound at her. Millie immediately recoils in disgust. In the background, Blitzo and Robo Fizz

continue to battle against each other as the fires spread. Blitzo is thrown up into the air by Robo Fizz and comes down through the roof of the shooting gallery, crushing the carnie Imp under him

Carnie Imp: OWWWW! Oof! Auuugh!

Moxxie surprised then says: Sir?!

Blitz dazed then says: Ohhhh...Hey, guys! You should probably go, uh, make sure Stolas is okay. I've... got some unfinished business to take care of.

Blitzo draws his flintlock pistol, cocks it, and fires at the now burning Robo Fizz. The impact of the bullet spins

Robo Fizz's head around, but when he spins his head back, he is revealed to be unharmed by the shot, having caught the bullet in his teeth. He then spits the bullet out

Blitzo: Oh, what a mouth!

Blitzo immediately grimaces when he realizes what he just said. Robo Fizz coils himself up into his rolling form again, charging straight at Blitzo. He leaps out of the way as his enemy hits the booth, destroying it in a large

explosion. Several pieces of shrapnel and burning prizes shoot in all direction, as the camera follows the severed heads of three of the "things"

Moxxie attempted to win. The piece of stuffed animal strikes a young Imp boy in the head, knocking him unconscious the second a photographer takes a picture of the Imp family

Father: Goddammit, Nathan! You ruined another bloody photo! Why were you even born?!

___________________________

Elsewhere, Stolas is still running after his daughter and his twin sister .

Stolas: Octavia, Athena?

Octavia & Athena (off-screen) Just leave us alone!

Stolas: Octavia, Athena !

Octavia and Athena run into a building called the "Fun House." Inside, Stolas is confronted with a a surreal room of eyes, tubes, spikes, mirrors, and disembodied hands. He goes further

into the room, looking around for where his daughter and his sister could have gone. A shadow appears behind Stolas, as a random Imp jumps upon his back

Stolas annoyed then says: Umm, I think I'm supposed to be bodyguarded right now!

The Imp covers Stolas' mouth with his shirt sleeve, but is suddenly shot in the head and falls to the ground. Moxxie and Millie appear in the entryway, Millie having just shot the Imp with a pistol.

Stolas then wipes the imp blood off of his sleeve, annoyed he then says : Ugh, that's better. Where is Blitzy? He's my knight in shining armor, not you littler ones.

Millie: He's, uhhhh... busy.

Moxxie: Being a fool.

Stolas: What kind of fool?

Moxxie: The "everything is now on fire" kind.

Disinterested, Stolas leaves the imps, effortlessly dodging between two swinging pendulums, and heads down a tunnel into an adjoining room. There, he sees Octavia & Athena riding in circles in apple-themed rail cars, crying

Stolas: Octavia , Athena ...

Stolas discards the Loo Loo Land hat, which in response to his emotional state has gone from a goofy grin to a sad frown.

Stolas: I take it you both are... not having fun.

Octavia crying then says: I didn't even want to come here! I only wanted to hang out with aunt Athena!

Stolas: I'm sorry, sweetie. I... I thought you loved it here.

Octavia sniffling then says When I was a kid and my parents didn't hate each other... and my dad didn't flirt with some... weird red dickhead the entire time.

Stolas: I'm sorry, Via , thena I'm sorry for... everything... happening right now. I know it's... a lot. I, uh-- I should have listened.

Octavia crying says: I just want to go home... but home doesn't even feel like home anymore... You ruined it.

Stolas: You need to understand... your mother and I... I just-... I felt-... She's always been... I haven't been- Ha-... We weren't in... I'm sorry, I- I- I don't have the words.

Octavia crying then asks : Are you gonna run off with him? And leave me and aunt Athena behind? Go away where... we can't find you?

Stolas: *emphatically* What? No! No, no, never. I'd never do that. Never. I think it's time to leave this place. You were right. You are too old for it, anyway.

Stolas carries Octavia and Athena out of the Fun House, as an imp grins maniacally in the space above the drop-ceiling, looking down on Stolas. The imp drops down and flicks open a switchblade.

Stolas immediately turns around, eyes glowing brightly. The Imp immediately turns to stone and is knocked over by a pendulum. Outside, the park has been reduced to pandemonium as dusk falls.

Millie attempts to shoot at Robo Fizz, who rolls around wildly. The robot is caught by the draconic creature from before, and swallowed whole, as Moxxie rides on its back. Stolas,Octavia & Athena leave the park gates.

Stolas: So, what would you like to do now?

Octavia: Oh, can we go to Stylish Occult? They sell weird taxidermy there.

Stolas: *reluctantly* Hmmm, okayyyyy...

Octavia: *chuckles* Thanks, dad. You're okay, sometimes. And aunt Athena can you come over more I missed you

Stolas: Thank you, Via. Thank you.

Athena: of course via I'll come over a lot more often I missed you too

A massive explosion rocks the park, sending the employees of I.M.P. hurtling through the air, smoking and screaming. All three land in front of Stolas,Octavia and Athena.

Moxxie: Way to ruin another good thing, sir!

Blitzo: Worth it! That slutty toy clown had. It. Comin'!

Moxxie and Blitzo fall unconscious. A stray animal that looks like Queef grabs Millie by the hair and drags her offscreen

Meanwhile Athena called a taxi home and walked into the mansion that her and her husband live in her husband heard the door and walked up to her and hugged her he see's that she's been crying and tells her that she should get some sleep to

Which she went straight to their shared bed and fell asleep

[cricketnationrise]

For the followers' fic fest!

6:58 AM, Kensington Palace, Philip Fox-Mountchristen Windsor. I'm not sure about the song but I'm thinking Are You Bored Yet? by Wallow ft. Clairo for the vibes so feel free to use it! (You don't have to tho /gen)

Another first for me, Philip POV! I hadn't heard the song before this ask, but it's going into regular rotation now! Anyway, I hope you like your ficlet! 💜🦗

❤️🤍💙❤️🤍💙

6:58am, kensington

“Mmm…Ph'lip? Why’re you already awake?”

Martha blinks blearily at him from where she’s half-sprawled on his chest. Bollocks. All his shifting around must have woken her up. Philip sighs, puts on half a mask of normalcy.

“No reason. Go back to sleep, darling.” He drops a kiss on the top of her head. “We don’t have to be up for another hour.”

“No, I’m awake enough. Come now, what’s wrong? You’re never up this far before your alarm.”

“Nothing.”

“Pish posh.”

“Martha.”

“I’m still half asleep, but I know utter rot when I hear it. Now spill.”

“I don't have an answer—” 

Martha starts to push upright. “Philip, I swear to—”

“Well, not one I can give you,” he admits. 

“How come?” 

And the truth is that the thing that’s bothering him, that has kept him up all night, it’s so big he can’t even look at it head on; has to resort to sideways glances. The whole is too overwhelming. But Martha makes everything better—everything. So maybe, a moment of bravery on his part will let her soothe this hurt, this howling thing inside him, as well. He takes a deep breath and exhales hard before speaking.

“The man that—the one that slept with H-henry. When he was underage.”

“From his letters?” Martha’s always been quick on the uptake, always willing to follow his wandering thoughts.

He nods. “I can’t get that line out of my head. It seems such a small detail, almost casual for Henry, but for me—”

“It rewrites a large part of your worldview.”

“Yes.”

There’s a long silence as they both sit with that idea. Martha plays with the buttons on his pajama top. Philip takes the back of her collar between his fingers, rubbing the soft neckline like a worry stone.

“Martha?”

“Hmm?”

“Do you think it was one of my friends?” He has no reason to doubt Henry’s words, just a desperate desire to have not contributed, even in passing, to his brother’s suffering.

“Truthfully?”

“Yes, please. If you tell me the truth I won't have to lie to myself anymore.”

“I think you already know the answer, love,” she says gently.

“Martha, please.” The just tell me doesn’t need to be spoken for her to understand. 

“Yes, Philip. I think it's true.”

For all he’d known, for all he’d been subconsciously bracing himself for the words, Martha’s confirmation is sharp pain, a cold knife in the pit of his stomach. Philip can’t quite keep the wet, shaky breath from escaping his throat.

“Oh, darling, it’s alright.”

In a heartbeat, Martha’s sitting upright and pulling Philip into her lap, combing her fingers through his hair as he fights to keep the tears at bay. 

“I’m fine.”

Martha snorts softly. “I’ve known you how long now? I can see you aren’t fine.”

“I can't—”

“Just tell me how you’re feeling. We’re all alone, no one to interrupt or pull you into meetings for at least forty minutes. So just tell me what’s going on. Maybe I can help get through this. You’ve been holding it all together for so long. You’re allowed to let go sometimes.”

“Martha, I—”

“Let me in, Pippy.” He’s so caught in the storm of his feelings that Philip can’t even muster the customary glare at the heinous nickname.

“I just. I feel so lost. Unmoored. There’s so much I don't know about my own brother. I don’t know what happens now. What happens next.” 

“You don't have to have all the answers, love.”

“I just don't know where we’re going.”

She brushes his bangs back from his forehead. “That's alright.”

“Its not—”

“It is. You’re not as alone as you think you are. If you’d let me, I’d like to be right next to you. We’ll figure it out. Together.”

And Philip—

Philip believes her.