#I can't believe Shays got away without anyone finding out what she was up to

[uselessgaywhovian]

Nobody Knows I'm A Pirate™ Part I

Nobody Knows I'm A Spy™ edition

Okay so.

We were going through the Dreadwood looking for Bael-lys's mom and Hans's partner. And then everything happened so much.

We ended up finding this creepy, like, castle? Keep? I'm not sure what the building used to be, but it was wrecked, so we entered dungeon crawl mode. Got attacked by the usual spooky shit like skeletons and bullshit. Shamys may have accidentally freed an angry water elemental living in the pipes. It was fine.

Then we go a little deeper in and find a sleeping kobold. Wake up that little shit, and he tells us that he needs help getting back his kobold group's dragon from some hobgoblins who stole it for the hags. We go talk to his leader who gives us a little more information on the keep and also a key for a door that Shamys somehow, despite her +10 expertise in thieves tools, could not pick.

Inside we found a horrible little crystal ball that made horrible music that compelled most of us to turn around and leave. And the one guy who it didn't affect didn't think to smash the thing so the rest of us could come back in, so we just had to keep making saving throws until finally someone succeeded 😂 Deeper in we found a tomb that turned out to be one of Bael-lys's ancestors that he didn't know about but who had some pretty sweet magic swag on him.

We continue our dungeon crawl. Fight some hobgoblins, yadda yadda yadda, find some crates labeled "Elf Pudding" that smelled very gross and we did not attempt to eat, eventually found the white dragon wyrmling and persuaded it that we were chill and were trying to help it. Instead of giving it back to the kobolds, we just unlocked the collar and set it free.

Then we reached the last chamber.

Inside were Bael-lys's mother and Hans's partner on these weird rune circles. When we entered, the three hags appeared and activated the circles. They took a few rounds to fully activate, but the hags said something about "Two must go, tick-tock!" and then vanished again. We managed to get the chains off Hans's partner and the queen, but they couldn't step out of the spell circle. Bree discovered that if she stood in Hans's partner's place, he was able to step off the circle, so Bael-lys summoned a wild boar and had it change places with his mother. But time was running out and now Bree was stuck on one of the circles. Hans attempted to use his echo to switch places with her, but it was incorporeal and didn't work.

Bree tried shooting the runes but that just made them light up faster. Both Orvo and Eoleo tried a strength contest with Bree to take her place in the circle, which she was less than happy about. Somehow Hans's partner ended up back on the circle? I forget how exactly. But Bree and Shamys both attempted to investigate the trap since it appeared to include a pressure plate, but we both rolled like shit and weren't able to figure out how to disarm it.

Then Hans discovered he could physically switch places with his partner, then magically swap places with his echo, allowing us all to get out safely. Except the boar. The boar was teleported away to parts unknown. Sorry piggy.

Anyway, after that we get the queen home safely. Bree had some Real Talk™ with her brother and Orvo and oof, is Bree ever goin' through it y'all. I was so sad that Yara was not here for this shit. Alas, only Shamys, who is a rascal and cannot be trusted.

So for saving the queen we were honored with a feast at the palace. Before the feast started, Shamys got a message from her Mysterious Benefactor™ telling her he had another job for her and to meet him on the other side of the Hool marshes. but not being one to miss a good shindig, she stuck around for the feast that night where she was given an unbreakable lockpick by the queen, and then got up before dawn the next day and made her way out of the palace, stealing some expensive knick-knacks and a very nice horse on her way out.

The next morning the party reconvened, minus Shamys, and Hans said he would also be taking a leave of absence (irl his player is in a show and won't be able to make a few sessions) so that he could take his partner back to their home. And then there were four that returned to Saltmarsh.

Turns out things in town have gotten tense. Apparently Procan, one of the sea gods, is just... missing? Clerics of Procan don't have magic anymore. So that's fun. Meanwhile, things are also slowly heating up with the sahuagin. Bree checked in with Eda about the kids we accidentally kidnapped, so that's all taken care of and the kids are back home. Bael-lys swung by Xendros and had the most fantastic not-breakup because they were never like really "together", it was amazing.

And while all that's happening, Orvo and Eoleo head back to Bree and Eoleo's house to find candlelight already burning. They open the door and find... guess who

ya girl Yara is back

Also Sybil is here

i'm sure this isn't about to be horrible complicated :D