#I can't believe Oremono ended sexism

[thefloatingstone]

I wanna talk about one episode of the anime “Ore Monogatari!!” (My Love Story!!)

I’m guessing most people know this show by now, but in case you haven’t 1) you should watch it and 2) The story follows the start and growing relationship between two high schoolers. One is a young girl named Rinko Yamato who has a passion for baking and making sweets, is super feminine and sweet... and isn’t exactly the brightest girl out there (but like in a cute way)

And our main character, Takeo Gouda. Who is very popular with the other guys in his class, but not exactly popular with girls. He too, is not exactly the brightest guy out there

Their relationship is basically this;

Anyway. Watch the anime. It’s really really good. It’s also fucking hilarious and watching these two idiots being way too fucking cute together is honestly the best thing ever.

BUT ANYWAY!

Takeo and Yamato don’t go to the same high school since Yamato goes to an All-Girls-School a few blocks away while Takeo goes to a co-ed school. A little bit into the series, Takeo and Yamato’s relationship has gotten pretty established. Takeo has never had a girlfriend before and, frankly, has never had any girl show even the slightest interest in him. (Most girls talking badly about him behind his back. Calling him a gorilla etc). So he’s not exactly use to Yamato’s complete and utter devotion to him and he’s not entirely sure what about him she sees in him. He just accepts that she does because he’s way too in love with her (it’s so cute it’s disgusting).

Takeo’s school has a sports day, and to prepare for it, Takeo helps out a girl from his class who’s kind of really bad at sports leading up to the day, and ends up spending a lot of time with her after school. Takeo doesn’t really think anything about this, because he’s all about helping people and he’s dating Yamato. As a result, he completely misses that this girl he’s helping has, in fact, grown to find him very attractive. (mostly because he’s built like a house)

Yamato, however, is a girl herself. And she’s not that oblivious to the fact that Takeo is in a different school to her, and she has no idea who he talks to and spends his time with when she’s not around. She worries about this a lot.

And this is the part I want to talk about.

First of all, Yamato does NOT do the “jealous girlfriend” thing. She doesn’t comedically follow Takeo around trying to “catch him in the act” of flirting with another girl. She doesn’t ACCUSE him of anything at all. She doesn’t demand to know what he does when she’s not around. NONE of that. The most she does is try to give off the hint that she IS his girlfriend when they’re together, and, shocker of shocks, she actually tells him how she feels!!!

Most of the time, she just seems a little depressed and worried.

Takeo’s response it reassure her, every single time, that she has nothing to worry about because he’s not the kind of guy girls are attracted to. So she shouldn’t worry so much. She accepts this, but still looks rather unhappy about it, and it does not actually ease her worries. He continues to reassure her, but after a while her worry comes back.

Eventually, when Takeo learns the girl he’s been helping DOES actually find him attractive, it’s like a lightbulb goes off in his head and he immediately goes to Yamato. And this is where the episode gave me real pause.

Takeo tells Yamato “I am sorry for saying you shouldn’t worry because other girls wouldn’t like me. I should have told you not to worry because even if they did, I’m not interested in anyone else but you.”

I know on paper that sounds kinda obvious, but I just remember thinking that somehow this dumb shoujo show seemed to have a better grasp on how to handle this kind of situation than most real world people do. Honestly, I didn’t even CONSIDER that Takeo’s reassurance was “wrong”. I was just watching it like “Haha he says girls don’t like him because he’s so oblivious to this other girl’s attraction to him! What a silly miscommunication!” And I was expecting... I don’t really know? I knew eventually Takeo would realise this girl likes him too, and I guess I was expecting him to be flustered? Confused by her attraction to him? Blushing and stuttering and unsure what to do about it? And then I guess what I was REALLY expecting was that the confusion would be sorted out between Takeo and THIS girl.

But no. Instead, the show does the ADULT thing that should have occurred to me as an adult!!! Takeo doesn’t even THINK about “what it means” for this girl to also find him attractive! Hell he doesn’t even BLUSH. He just goes “Oh shit! If this girl likes me too then I’ve been saying something untrue to Yamato to make her feel better!! I need to fix it so my girlfriend isn’t so worried!!” and then IMMEDIETELY goes and talks to his girlfriend.

He actually COMMUNICATES with his partner. He essentially tells her “I suddenly realise that the way I was trying to reassure you is entirely based on the belief that there isn’t any OPPORTUNITIES for me to date other girls. Instead of letting you know that even if I had many opportunities to date other girls and could date whoever I wanted it wouldn’t matter at all because I am in love with you! You don’t have to worry because I don’t WANT to date anyone else. Not because I don’t have the opportunity!”

I think media in general, from ANY country, has so programmed me to see miscommunication between couples and jealousy be treated the same way. The guy is oblivious, the girl can see the signs and become possessive and bitchy because she feels threatened and she gets mad at her BOYFRIEND for it, the “other woman” makes her move and our male lead has to prove his devotion to his girlfriend by arguing with “the other woman” and tell her “no” until she goes away. Then he goes back to his girlfriend and goes “you were right, dearest. That other woman was bad news. I am sorry for not listening to you.” and then they’d make out or whatever.

And just.... why is this version so rare in media???? The version where the girlfriend is NOT possessive and bitchy. Just insecure and vulnerable. The version where the “Other woman” is NOT a massive homewrecker bitch, but just another girl who can’t help that she’s attracted to this guy and, knowing she’ll be turned down because he has a girlfriend, wants to admit his feelings to him anyway and make herself vulnerable and accept rejection so she can move on. The version where the guy fixes the situation NOT by chasing away this slutty temptress in a hilarious and sexy manner because “oh no! SHe’s appealing to his lust! and we all know what MEN are like! It’s so hard for them to say no to sex with anyone!” and his predicament is instead “I misunderstood my girlfriend’s insecurity! I need to fix that with open communication!”

Why is this version so rare????

In all seriousness, after seeing this episode, I was actually upset that I had expected the “man gets flustered by his own libido when temptress shows up and it’s hilarious” setup. Like that was the DEFAULT RESPONSE to this situation. As if that was the ONLY way you could handle this situation. As if it was the truth, that men are nothing but walking sex drives and every woman except the grilfriend is a hussy out to steal your man.

I just.... I HATE that even someone like me, who doesn’t even really LIKE romance stories (until very very recently) has had this drilled into my head so completely that even Asexual borderline Aromantic me didn’t even consider open communication. That NOT all “other women” are sluts and some of them CAN actually just be confused and vulnerable girls with feelings too. That this kind of misunderstanding should be talked about and fixed between the COUPLE, and NOT the man and the temptress.

Why did it take a dumb shoujo romance about high schoolers to point out to me how fucked up relationships are portrayed in basically every other media in existence?

Anyway... I’m not sure what my point was, really, apart from “Ore Monogatari is really good and you should watch it.”

It also features Takeo punching a dude on a subway when the guy said Yamato was asking to be groped because of the way she was dressed.

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