#I can expand more on anything that doesn't make sense/wasn't detailed enough

[shibee-inu]

hi helo 👋 can i have uhhhhhh 8, 9, 10, 16, 17, 27, 35, 53 and 65 for selen and 8, 10, 12, 13, 35 and 69 for endymion?

D&D Ask Game

Selene

8. What is something they cannot resist?

Hmm I guess maybe her own impulsiveness? Although that's actually kinda changing over time so it's not so much that she can't resist, moreso that it's difficult. I dunno, this feels like a strange question to answer, like how would you answer this for yourself ??? So the real answer: she can't resist adopting NPCs at the drop of a hat. Colton watch out you're next.

9. What is their favorite scent?

I don't think Selene has just one favorite? I'll give a few different ones. From her home: the ocean, cypress, and burning wood. In modern times: flower perfumes and fresh pastries.

10. If they were in a rock band, what role would they play?

Lead guitarist! Selene has played the lyre before, and while they obviously aren't the same, I think string instruments would generally interest her more. Plus she likes being the center of attention so her playing the melody would be fitting !

16. What keeps them going?

Hope and confidence! Fake it till you make it type beat. Selene figures that even if no one else believes in her, she can at least believe in herself, and that can be enough.

17. Does your character swear? What’s their favorite phrase/word?

Of COURSE Selene swears have u heard her… As for favorites. I think Selene is very particular to the usage of "asshole," but I've never actually considered it consciously? lol

27. If they were a ghost, how would they haunt in the afterlife?

She would move around your furniture and make spooky little noises. Mostly harmless! Haha unless…? I guess it would also depend on who she's haunting, because if it was like, the PRESIDENT? That guy would not be getting a harmless ghost that's for dang sure.

35. Do they consider themselves childish/mature for their age?

I don't think she really considers herself more or less childish/mature tbh. That's just not something she ever really thinks about yknow. Listen, that's Talfryn's obsession, not hers'. She's just livin her life out here.

53. What does freedom mean to them?

FUCK the government is what it means. Selene doesn't want to be constrained by others' ideas of who or how she should be. Also she's a roaming kinda gal <3 loves to wander. The facilities are basically antithetical to that entirely which is part of the reason she's against them on just a basic level. Governments that rob people of their autonomy have never been her jam (cuz yeah… the ancient Greeks did do that with women. A lot.)

65. Adoration or Intimidation?

Adoration for sure. Above all else, Selene is a charmer, although she definitely uses the power of intimidation when she really needs to! Sometimes what people need to be convinced is a good scare, and how is that her fault, huh.

Endymion

8. What is something they cannot resist?

I don't think Endymion is really a person who indulges in much so like. I can't really think of anything SORRY. I guess like… Selene in a way ?? She gets him to do things out of his comfort zone, pushes him out of his shell, gets him to say what he normally wouldn't. They're besties :) and he trusts her with that power.

10. If they were in a rock band, what role would they play?

Uhhh vocalist, perhaps ? He isn't really very musically inclined haha. Though I think he would get a bit nervous when put in the spotlight, so something like percussionist/keyboard might fit him better. If only he knew how to play either.

12. Physically, does your character feel warm or do they always feel cold?

Endymion runs hot! So it's always a little chilly for him during normal weather. That's why the Mediterranean climate fits him well, it's usually at least somewhat warm and sunny, and the winters aren't too too cold.

13. If they were a body of water, what would they be?

This is. Such an odd question to think about aslkdjglsk. Maybe like… a stream???? Not as big or intimidating as a river. Idk man it ain't that deep <- am I talking about the question or the stream? Who is to say.

35. Do they consider themselves childish/mature for their age?

Mature—he has a lot of responsibilities and has been able to basically single-handedly take care of himself and his family for over a decade. Though maturity is all subjective, and it's not something he values in himself or others. If he had a choice in the matter, he'd want to be more childish and enjoy life rather than be bogged down with worries or responsibilities. dw about his traumas <3

69. Journey or Destination?

Destination!!! Endymion is always looking ahead at the future, so living in the moment is harder for him to do. 6isms amiright. The shorter the journey the better, in his eyes.

[ohblackdiamond]

liner notes/unused joke summaries for kiss fics (part vii)

Despite what my general dislike of the shift key and my tendency to mock all that I love might imply, I actually overthink everything I write to a great extent. I make no claims to these explanations being in any way enjoyable, but if you wanted to know what I was thinking while writing KISS fic… now you do. Part one can be found here. Part two is here. Part three is here.  Part four is here. Part five is here.

shock them, show them --Ace and Paul have smoking hot lesbian sex just like in a drive-in movie theater porno. Well. Except for the part where Ace makes Paul sing "Shock Me" acapella, post-coital.

>>Ace/Paul is one of my not-so-guilty pleasures and they just have a fun dynamic. It had been a long time since I'd written the pairing, and I really enjoyed Ace's lack of pretense and impatience with Paul's stress and tendency to overanalyze. I also enjoyed small bits, like the fact that even though Paul tells him they'll go again if he (Paul) gets eaten out first, Ace doesn't ever eat him out, and that Paul initially refuses the thought of scissoring only to get really into it not too long after.

Other things I liked: Paul feeling more masculine/more himself around Ace (after all that time with Gene), and managing to seduce him a bit. Title is, of course, another lyric from the Stones' "Little T&A."

little rock 'n' roll --Paul spends five days doing almost nothing in the wake of getting turned into a girl by a vengeful groupie by way of a demon. Besides try to masturbate.

>>I had written this out in part a long, long time ago mostly as a writing exercise for myself while writing "little t&a," but as it kept expanding, I decided someone might find it interesting enough to actually post. I wanted the freedom to explore some really weird things-- I don't think Marbas had anything to do with the dreams Paul was having, but that's up to interpretation. I wanted to work with Paul's poorly-established sense of self and his own issues with sexuality/gender, which was mostly accomplished through the dream sequences where he was, in effect, reinterpreting parts of his life with a female lens, and (poorly) addressing things he had latent issues with (his own bisexuality and femininity). Also, I just found the body horror aspect interesting to explore and the difference Paul experienced in how other people were treating him, especially when he was alone.

catch my drift --Gene manages to bed one of the hottest women of the eighties after nerding out about Lon Chaney movies.

>>I really wrote this in an attempt to fully get at what it's like to be around Gene Simmons as a woman and get a sense of his presence/confidence as he's really... the guy is something else, all the rumors are true, etc. etc. etc. He has ridiculous eye contact, he pays ridiculous amounts of attention to everything you say, and he acts extremely invested in what you have to say. Yes, it's because he wants money/sex/etc. out of you, but boy, the times I have seen and the time I have met him, I have fully understood exactly how he got so many women. I don't think I fully encapsulated it in the story, but I tried!

I hesitated to finish and post it, too, because Vanity in real life was extremely troubled and, in the early nineties, changed her life very dramatically and became a preacher, so I worried that writing about her during this point in her life would come off as if I was disrespecting her and ignoring her later choices to focus on a period she wasn't proud of. I thought about it and then decided that if her story was one she was willing to share in her autobiography and in public (in some amount of detail), then, well, I was probably okay to go ahead with it. Vanity's eighties lifestyle was not sustainable on any front and she battled addiction, eventually getting clean in the nineties after some serious health consequences. I'm proud of her for that.

c'mon, get your feet wet --Ace lets Peter hit it from the back, until he decides he'd rather him hit it from the front. Then he meets Marbas, who doesn't bother trying to convince him he'd be better off with tiny boobs.

>>I find Ace really funny even in the face of situations that are terrible. You get the impression in interviews and even in behind the scenes stuff that a part of him is always dryly laughing at how everything has turned out and that he's basically along for the ride even in his own life, for better or for worse. Ace's rockstar insulation isn't that thick, really, and he's at least somewhat self-aware.

That being said, his dynamic with Peter meant that he couldn't manage to goof around and act like things weren't bothering him, which meant he kept trying to turn to drugs and alcohol instead. He's only aware he has a problem that can't be laughed off in the context of where he would be without the creature comforts of being a rock star. An alcoholic drug addict twenty-something girl with no money or family will end up in an objectively worse position financially and physically than an alcoholic drug addict twenty-something multimillionaire (or at least millionaire at that point) rockstar guy. Marbas points out he's set to lose everything anyway, but of course once he's gone, Ace can push all that aside again.

Ace isn't focused on trying to be a girl (for whatever that means) or what that means or anything along those lines. He doesn't have Paul's relatively weak sense of self and nothing about staying like he is is enticing for him. Ace doesn't care about that and all he cares about are the limitations of his current position and the ramifications.

I had a hard time with this piece for a very long time because I didn't feel like I was making it hot enough at all, and when I just gave up on that aspect, the fic managed to come together in an evening (after being on the backburner for months and months). The shower scene was hard up until that point-- once I embraced that Ace would never not be falling over in the shower, it was fine. Peter doesn't really have a whole lot to do beyond treat Ace right, but I wanted him to still feel like Peter.

[conchelle]

So I've thought a little bit more about Subahibi. Some of my opinions have changes while others have solidified. Its definitely a visual novel that invites the reader to come to their own conclusion about whats happening and yeah, I think I'm gonna do just that.

I still don't accept the simple message of "Live Happily" from this VN. To me it just doesn't make sense if you even begin to think about what happened in the first half.

But then I realized a crucial detail that I was missing. Perspectives. Each chapter is told in an individual character's perspective. There is no solid information given in Subahibi. Only interpretations through another character's lens. The only way we can confirm the existence is something is if it's consistent enough with multiple accounts.

By the end of Subahibi we are still locked to someone perspective. That being Tomosane. In the end what the reader takes away from him is to "Live Happily."

As a core message, this fails for reasons I've already went on and on about. But then I stopped and considered. What if this wasn't the story itself trying to relay a message, but rather the advice from a cast of characters with heavy survivorship bias.

That's when everything made sense to me. The character we're left with by the end of the story are more or less completely uninvolved with the characters we came to knew in the first half. Tomosane doesn't know anything about Zakuro. Hasaki never really got to know the Takuji her brother ended up becoming. Yuki never even got a chance to meet anyone who atteneded Kita high school

They don't know the suffering of the characters who didn't survive. They only know their own and their own recovery. Living Happily worked in their situation and that's the advice they had to relay.

From that viewpoint, that message makes complete sense. I can accept that. But it just brings up probably the biggest issue I have with the story.

The first half and second half of Subahibi are almost completely unrelated.

Subahibi is a remake of a 1997 visual novel called Tsui no Sora that more or less follows the same story beats as the first half. So basically the original plot was written without what would become the second half of Subahibi in mind. And yeah it really shows.

Everything in the first half of Subahibi that relates to the second half just feels like a convenient excuse. The story tries to make the viewer think "Ooooo does this story have supernatural elements? Or maybe it's all just mental illness oooooo~"

The story really wants to throw me for a loop and I'm just not buying it because the fact that the whole Supernatural or Mental dilemma exists at tells me all I need to know.

Because the thing is. Everything that could possibly be the work of some kind of super wacky magic powers just make more sense when you frame them in a more human lens.

Was Mamiya really possessed by his deceased brother or is it just years of abuse and being forced to take on the image of his dead brother that destroyed his mental state and sense of self?

It just seems like a no-brainer to me. Why would you even attempt to insert the idea that supernatural magic can be involved when the explanation already provided is sufficient and realistic enough?

Did the trauma Mamiya experience cause him to develop DID or was it just Yuki and his original soul inhabiting his body the whole time?

Again. In this context the more fantastical option just makes less sense. The whole "magic" aspect is never expanded or developed enough to make me believe that this could even be a possibility in this world as opposed to trauma and mental illness which the first half of the story heavily focuses on.

My main issue with the second half of the story is just the fact that all it's attempts to connect and relate to the first half feel completely out of place. It pretends that its trying to throw some interesting questions at you to ponder about when in reality every question it brings up has already been logically explained in the first half.

It all just feels like a convenient excuse to distract the viewer from realizing that the second half practically throws everything you already know in the garbage and desperately tries to confuse you in hopes you won't notice. None of the characters we leave off with have anything to do with the characters we start off with.

Mamiya Takuji? Completely retconned. Despite being a whole person with thoughts and desires his entire character is wiped and never mentioned again. If we look at this from a completely realistic lens. His trauma is completely wiped cleaned and his cured from all mental illness. He doesn't get to improve as person or recover, he just reverts back to the younger version except with all the knowledge of someone of his current age. It doesn't make sense.

So let's look at this from the magic supernatural lens. His personality is wiped because it's actually his evil dead brother that's possessing his body and eventually he comes back and make the evil spirit go away!

None of these ideas are thoughtfully developed and one explanation shows gaping holes in the writing while the other is a more feel good quick excuse that tells the viewer not to dwell on it too much. Either way they both accomplish the same goal of completely writing out one of the most important characters to the first half so they can loosely connect him to the "true" protagonist of the second half.

How about Zakuro? She's a pretty integral character in the first half. She more or less kickstarts the plot so what's up with her? Despite being deceased her presence is heavy in the narrative and ends up effecting a good amount of the characters. So what do they do with her in the second half? Nothing? Absolutely nothing? Cool!

Like I get it. In the end her death wasn't anything more than just that. She lived and she died but the characters inflate her existence into something more even though she was mostly ignored while she was living. She wasn't a God or a savior. She was just a girl and that's fine.

The issue is that by the second half her entire existence has become irrelevant. None of the characters we follow know anything about her other than the fact that her suicide was the catalyst to all of this.

We never get a follow up on what really happened afterwards. It's implied she still has a family out there but they never make themselves known. Apparently it was a huge thing in the news but this is only mentioned in a passing statement. Despite it having an impact on so many people the cast we're left with barely acknowledges it.

Yuki is a whole character I genuinely don't even feel like going in depth into. Apparently she exists because Takuji wanted the ideal version of himself to be the only version of himself and in order to do that the old Yuki would be replaced by this new one who had the same personality but none of the memories and this had to happen because...reasons.

Her character really is just the most convenient excuse as to why the Yuki we end up seeing in the second half doesn't align with the first one we see. Once again she's just another character that very loosely relates to the second half and is quickly written out of the story when convenient.

The ending of Subahibi resolves all its conflict by writing out all the characters that were involved in the conflict. The conflict can't exist without the characters driving the story so how do you come to a resolution? Just remove them. Make them irrelevant. Takuji was obliterated from existence. Zakuro was forgotten. Yuki just stopped being relevant. So of course the characters in the second half got their happy ending. They were barely involved with the events that happened.

So in the end what do they have to say about everything that transpired? A simple message that has nothing to do with the events that actually occurred.

There is a third ending though. It's very vague and the most popular interpretations of it is that Ayana is somehow the ruler of this universe. Whether it be her dream, she's God disguised as a human, or she's the writer's self insert. It intentionally invites the viewer to come to their own conclusion about what all of this really is. And you know what? Yeah. I like it.

I feel it's way more in line with the themes Subahibi was trying to present than any forced happy ending for characters who could matter less. For a story like this, yeah.

I've seen a huge split between people who feel like the story dragged on and picked up in the second half and people who thought the story was interesting in the first half and fell off it the second. I'm not surprise there's such a divide because they are fundamentally two different stories with a very small convenient thread connecting them

I never really mentioned how I feel about the second half's narrative on it's own. I think it's alright for what is is. But of course it's greatly held back by the fact that it's trying to tell a story by hijacking another one. It's at its best when it doesn't even try to connect the two.

idk idk these are my thoughts. maybe they'll change again but I feel pretty solid on this

[uupdirector]

HAPPY 7TH ANNIVERSARY TO THE TORMENTED!!

Hard to believe it's been this long since the original video came out in 2017 - a lot has changed in my workflow and creative process, some for the better, and some for the... ehhhh- strugglesome stuff, to say the least. I might not look back onto the original series with as much fondness as I would have back then, given the amount of influence my hyperfixations had on shifting the story in a completely different direction that I wasn't too fond of later on, but had it not been for the passion I had to not only start it, but expand upon it in ways I wouldn't have imagined back then, I wouldn't have learned a ton of skills that would help me improve on projects like it moving forward.

Sometimes thinking big doesn't always mean making something good though, and I recognize that some of the directions I was taking this series was anything but clear cut and focused, but it was the first time I had tried anything like it, and it never works out perfectly the first time anyway... or at all actually, my perfectionism basically stemmed from this series as I tried everything to stray away from what was common and have people step out of their comfort zone. I believe I succeeded on that front, it's just laying out too many projects and failing to keep many of them going where I wasn't too successful lmao.

But as I said, a lot has changed, and with ReFreshed having been in the works since the start of 2024, I've been trying to figure out the right kind of mindset to enjoy working on stuff like this again. While I haven't found anything that clicks on every front, I can safely say that I've reached a point where it's not only easier for me to jump back in when I'm feeling creative or productive, but also allows for me to take care of myself again when needed in between all of that. I can actually look back at what I've been working on with a sense of excitement and satisfaction that I was able to pull it off, and any free time I spend afterwards feels like I deserved it. Games are becoming more fun to play again, I'm realizing the importance in keeping up with actual priorities, I'm finding myself adapting to a new sleep schedule, and through all of that, things are slowly but surely becoming comfortable again. I feel content where I am, but that doesn't mean I'm gonna stop moving forward.

Anyway - with all that out of the way, it's worth noting (again lol) that the 7th Anniversary gift will be premiering at 1:15PM EST. While I wouldn't get your hopes up or expect any more details on the Pilot Episode (formerly Episode 1*), there is one thing it will unveil; the release window. With the workflow I've been going at, I've made enough progress to say that I'm comfortable sharing when it will be ready, and I'm more confident that this thing will be done in the window I've set for it. Of course, there's always room for delays, so again - don't get your hopes up, I can be unpredictable at times lmao.

*TL;DR - ideas have been piling up and I'm not sure what other direction to take it, so I'm treating it as a Pilot - like the original Tormented, and playing things by ear, that way I don't stress myself too much before it's even started. Just figured I'd point that out.

But with all that said - thank you all so much for your support over the years. I'm looking forward to showing you all what I've been cooking up, and I hope you're all just as excited to join me for it! Much love, folks! 💙

[transsexualhamlet]

Moriarty the Patriot + The Final Problem

aka another unecessary essay from ya boy on how yuumori, instead of taking away from the original text, adds meaning and depth to it

So I finally got around to reading the final problem after wading through all the memoirs of sherlock holmes and yes, I am in fact reading these because of yuumori. I wanted to see how it was portrayed, what the differences and influences from the original source were. I did end up getting incredibly attached to the original series too, so yeah... I'm glad to report that the original and adaption get along well.

And yeah, I have a lot of thoughts, most of them being just me generally praising yuumori. I think it was straight up genius how they pulled so much content from... well, frankly. The Final Problem was a 15 page short story tossed off by Doyle in order to have an excuse to be done with sherlock holmes, told from the perspective of someone who wasn't even there. And yuumori still managed to make it generally very accurate and complementary to the original, while still being, uhhhhh really fucking different, let's say that.

Read more because again, long essay

Just my observations on the final problem itself is that it is so underdeveloped and told from an outsider perspective. Because of that, so many questions go unanswered, and the reader gets a sense that they are only witnessing a very small part of what actually happened. Sherlock can't afford to go into detail on what Moriarty was even involved in, Watson isn't privy to what's honestly even happening most of the time, and Moriarty just... has this extensive network of organized crime that just isn't even talked about other than Trust Me It's Bad Bro. We don't know Moriarty's intentions, most of who he is, and more questions are honestly brought up than answered within the story. Sherlock knows, oh that's for sure, Sherlock knows what's going on and he has no fucking time to tell Watson. You get a sense that Watson himself isn't even telling all that went down.

So yeah, I can see where there's so much room to expand upon here, not even to change things or make it different because it would be cool, but there's so much that could be happening just within the realm of plausible deniability in the canon.

And I think that it's amazing how Yuumori chose to market itself that way- not as an adaption or reimagining- but that this was in fact the Real story, with Doyle's final problem being... honestly a bit of a cover up, a purposeful misrepresentation of a small slice of the full story. It lends itself completely to that, and I think that's amazing.

(One thing I do find funny is that in Yuumori the story "the final problem" is depicted as a full novella that could be published on its own... man it's not nearly long enough for that but I find it funny in any way)

Of course, there are elements of yuumori that are yknow, simply not realistically something that could have happened, but most of the story is actually within that range of plausible deniability since the canon is so vague and sparse. And since they state that things were changed on purpose to protect people and the moriarty plan, it basically covers that all as simply The Truth. It's well done, and very interesting, especially with the new anime ending taking them to Reichenbach itself.

Like, yuumori didn't even truly change the appearances of the characters, from the descriptions. (we're not counting the illustrations lol) like, Sherlock was never stated (as far as I can tell) to have a specific hair or eye color, hairstyle or such.... he was described as tall, thin, eccentric, messy, with like... long fingers and stuff. Man, yuumori did not go against that. With Moriarty it's different, though he was also reportedly Tall and Thin and Built Like A Yaoi Protag for some goddamn reason, he... you know, has these weird and unattractive features as well, which... in the context of Watson trying to portray Moriarty as unmitigated evil in order to protect the plan, were in this situation made up specifically to further the idea that he was just that.

Because of this situation, the Moriarty that is portrayed as yeah, a smart guy and a threat but seriously just A Bad Dude who seems to have no particular reason behind his actions save being A Bad Dude actually make more sense as a cover up behind a more dangerous secret of him having Real Feelings than the only stated reason being "he inherited being evil from his family". (like... watson, really?)

It explains the vagueness and the events and the weird connection between those two better than the original does, and that's really cool to me.

On their own, without yuumori to back me up on these things, reading this would have left me confused and depressed. But as a half truth immortalized as the real story, you get so much more out of it.

Especially these certain scenes:

When Moriarty just pops into Sherlock's house and they proceed to have a basically wordless conversation amounting to

"you know why I'm here" "you know how I'm going to respond" "well then" "here's date and time of our mutual destruction" "thanks I'll be there" "well I'll be off nice knowing you" "wow it sucks that we're enemies he's such a civil guy"

It just really adds something to that, don't you think?

And the subject of their fall itself, simply the fact that Watson wasn't even there. No one witnessed it. No one found even Moriarty's body. No one found evidence of anything at all.

All Watson could say was that Sherlock and Moriarty had gone up to the mountain together, Moriarty told Sherlock of his plans, let Sherlock write and leave a letter to Watson, and that they never came back down. So he came to the conclusion that they must have fought and both fallen off.... like, holding each other. Not really sure how they reached that conclusion, to be honest.

It doesn't even make sense, exactly told how it is. If Moriarty wanted to kill sherlock and survive, he would have just... brought a fucking gun. Or just pushed him off on the way up. As soon as he got him alone just fucking stab the man. It would have been that easy, but no, he had a whole ass convo with the man, they went up civilly side by side, and they stayed on the cliff a long time while Sherlock wrote that letter. Even then, Sherlock could have just waited to catch Moriarty off guard and pushed him off. But he didn't.

Why would they even have fought, if it was so scheduled? You telling me to believe that after this letter was written and moriarty stood there watching him sipping tea or whatever he was suddenly like "ok im ready to fight now", knowing they would both probably die, and if they were genuinely trying to kill each other and survive, that would even make sense?

Of course, these problems in the original stem just from Doyle no longer giving a shit and slapping this together after losing motivation for sherlock, he was obviously, not hinting at some great conspiracy in the slightest.

But damn, Yuumori really does change that all for you, huh. It adds a whole new layer of context to it. And I like it a lot, I like what they've done on their own, I like what they've done for the original stories, and I especially like what they've done telling the "real story" of this short, vague, mystery that otherwise leaves you feeling unsatisfied and confused.

[lavenderbexlatte]

Hello!!! Welcome to 🦋 anon's probably-way-too-overthought analysis on the m&m series in light of the new part. I have stopped crying and had about 24 hours to think, and I have discovered I have many thoughts, and this will probably be way more detailed than it should be.

The first thing I would like to address are some of the accusations Chan made at the end of the most recent part. (While I understand that they're supposed to not quite be accurate because of their obvious root in insecurity, and a lot of what I'm saying may just be like "yeah, obviously," I still would like to tell at the character a bit but I can't so this is what I have.)

Claim #1: "You fucking came at us at that party with your little girl-dom agenda and the guys fell for it, hook line sinker!"

This one's fairly self explanatory, no she didn't. They literally came onto her, even him, with his "There’s that pretty blush," and "Whatever you want it to be," lines. (And while yes, it's very likely that he was just trying to play it cool, but there's no way she could've known that, I'll come back to this later.)

Claim #2: "Nobody fucking asked me what I wanted!" "Nobody asked if I was sure that I wanted…"

Also mostly false, but he does have a tiny bit of a point. Yes, reader did grab his hair without asking, which is a little iffy, but she didn't actually rough with him until he goads her on. But I would argue that the reader is actually the ONLY one who asks him what he wants, if he's okay with things. While there may have been a little bit of discussion on the decision to approach the reader that we didn't see because of perspective (him saying this is kind of telling me that there wasn't, or at the very least not enough, maybe even some pressure for this to be the moment), or maybe Changbin said something while reader is with Jisung on the couch, after that, we don't see Jisung and Changbin check in with him at ALL, and there's not really an opportunity any other time for it just not have been noticed by the reader. As his partners, and the ones in the situation who have the full knowledge of Chan's situation, it should've been their responsibility to make sure he was alright throughout the process, even if they're not the ones in control for this situation, ESPECIALLY if they're going to keep this information from their Domme for the night (which really, I would say, wasn't a good idea, but no one is required to out themselves so I'll leave it alone).

HOWEVER, the reader does check with him, several times. She asks for boundaries/hard limits/etc before they even start anything, and while again, he's not required to say "hey, having a sexuality crisis, first time with a girl, kinda nervous," and he may not want to tip off Jisung and Changbin that something's wrong, that would be the time to say something like "I'm not feeling anything rough tonight, if you could be gentler that would be great." She asks them if there's anyone that doesn't actually want to fuck her. Also, she implements a safeword system (which she specifically calls him out to make sure he's okay with), which they weren't even going to USE, and asks them at least twice throughout the scene for their color, and Chan specifically if he's okay at least two more times besides that. Actually Chan almost makes fun of her for asking so many questions, so I think this claim is just another part of his insecurity-fed delusion that she's conspiring to ruin his life, or something, but again I'll come back to that. My point is that despite being the only one who doesn't know his situation, reader is also the only one who checks in with him.

There are a few other things he said that I took issue with, but those are the main two.

Next; Chan's delusion that reader is like conspiring to ruin his life. (Really like how you depicted this by the way, though I may be thinking wayyy too far into this.) I remember watching some video when I had one of my mental health/disorders hyperfixations. The video was about schizophrenia, and while I definitely don't think Chan has schizophrenia, one of the things the video talked about was types of delusions, and this kind of reminded me of one of them. I don't remember what it's called, but it's basically a delusion based around one idea, and then you force the world around you to fit into that idea. One example of this that I can think of is Azula from ATLA. Towards the end of her arc in the TV series, she starts seeing hallucinating her mother everywhere, and you get a peek of her fixed belief that her mother is behind everything that has gone wrong in her life, which is expanded upon a little bit in the books. Obviously Chan's not experiencing delusion to the extent that she did, but I did see some (albeit much less intense) parallels that were interesting. See, if he only talked about how his boyfriends seemed to like the reader more than him, that would be one thing, but he brings up his mother as well, which even though they did speak, it's a little out there to say that your mother likes someone she's talked to once more than you. That, combined with his insisting that the reader is playing some sort of game makes me think of that a little.

Of course this was only at first, when I was like "wtf, where is this 'my boyfriends like you more than me' thing coming from?" And then I reread the first few parts for this monstrosity of an ask that I'm writing rn. While at first I thought that this was entirely out of left field, when I read through the first few parts, especially the second one, with the knowledge that he felt that way, I noticed a few things you had put in there.

For the majority of the scene, or at least the first good chunk, the reader deals with Jisung and Changbin alone, leaving Chan by himself to watch. Obviously, as we see the reader's perspective, we know that it's because she found Chan's attitude intriguing and wanted to be able to deal with that one on one (at least that's what I got from it), it's easy to see now how to someone who's already insecure about their relationship and themselves, that would read as someone replacing you. Especially when Jisung, with no ill intent, but still, outright rejects his help in favour of the reader, and once again, he is left out, only this time it's accompanied with the sting of knowing (or at least feeling) that your partner didn't want you involved.

Now I kinda want to go character by character, and idk, talk about what I think they did wrong? We'll see, I'm not going to edit this so here we go.

Jisung and Changbin : Honestly, looking back on 3racha's first encounter with the reader, they really should have done better as Chan's partners. Like I said earlier, as the ones who knew Chan's situation, and the ones who likely pressured him slightly into he whole ordeal, it was really their responsibility to make sure Chan was okay with everything that was going on. That, and them feeling the need to sneak around with reader behind Chan's back doesn't sit right with me. I get that they have an open relationship, but there's a difference between having an open relationship and hooking up with someone your partner doesn't like, and actively trying to hide that you're hooking up with them. Their relationship boundaries may be fine with that, but idk, something feels off about it.

(I couldn't figure out where to put this and you may have already addressed this but it's my little theory/headcanon that Chan actually suspected it was reader at Jisung's place, and when there wasn't anyone there, he kinda gaslighted himself afterwards, idk. With the new knowledge it feels likely.)

Also, knowing that they were together for a while before Chan joined the relationship I think explains so much about the communication issues they seem to have with him. While I do think Chan has trouble communicating his feelings about things, I think their established communication and knowing eachother really well doesn't help. I may just be making things up at this point, but I feel like they have trouble with communication with Chan specifically, maybe forgetting that he doesn't have the same time/experience thy have with each other? If that makes sense?

Chan : oh boy. I've gone into a lot of detail already, so I'll try to keep this brief. Obviously, I think he has a looooottt of insecurity he needs to work through. If I were reallllyyy analyzing this I would say maybe a past cheating partner(?), but unless that's relevant to the plot I'm not sure if that's just me reading too much into this. Also mentioned before, COMMUNICATION ISSUES. One thing that would prevent half of the issues with this series is Chan communicating with his partners, though I suppose that wouldn't be near as much fun to read. Or just communicating I'm general, like I said, he had a plethora of opportunities to communicate to reader if he wanted something different, and didn't. So, yeah. Honestly I think he causes most of his own problems, but I feel like we knew that.

Reader : Now. I spent most of this series completely on the reader's side. Last night after reading part six, I was like "oh my god. He's right!" But then I took a while and thought a lot about it (as you can see), and honestly, I think reader probably did the least wrong out of everyone. Yes, the hair thing was a little iffy, like I said earlier, but once I went back and realized that he was actively participating and egging her on, I don't think that's necessarily something she did wrong. Beyond that, she did the most in regards of communication (at least during sex, after is another story), even more than the partners themselves. I think she did the best she could with the information that was given to her. She saw three guys approach her as a unit, and while yes, she didn't ask before engaging with Chan, I don't think it's really her fault for assuming that they were all interested as a unit as well. She had no reason to question any of their sexualities, why would she? She sees three partners approach her in unison, why wouldn't she assume they were on the same page? Anyway, all that to say, I think reader is the most innocent of all the main characters so far, though I may feel different after sitting on this for more time.

Anyway, here's this unedited brain dump, loved the new part, enjoy. Or not ig - 🦋

i've been sitting on this for like a week bc it's just so long and amazing??? and i have no idea what to say?? 🥺🥺

the bit about chan having a sort of delusion that reader is out to ruin his life in a pointed, conspired way is VERY interesting. their dynamic is actually something that i pulled from myself, in a way. i'm really superstitious about dumb things. i hate, like, bumping into someone or accidentally saying something that hurts someone's feelings bc i know that that karma/vibe/intention (whatever you wanna call it, i'm not spiritual just paranoid) is gonna come back around.

reader is the opposite. she's just walking around doing things and thinking about herself, and then being shocked when there are equal and opposite reactions to the stuff she does. i overthink everything, so reader doesn't think nearly enough.

but lemme say

that the best thing you said is how jisung and changbin are absolutely not the innocent bystanders that everyone seems to think they are 🤐🤐 most readers LOVE those two. but think about it...what are they trying to accomplish, here? 👀

[ajokeformur-ray]

Good Morning my love! ♡

I'm wishing you the happiest birthday!

I thought about this day for a long time and somehow drove myself kinda crazy because I just didn't know what I could give you; sonething that would do any justice to the stunning person you're and the extraordinary things you deserve. First I wanted to make you a personal playlist, then a moodboard, and then a small collection of quotes, but somehow I wasn't completely satisfied with anything, which really frustrated me...

It's always incredibly difficult for me to make birthday presents because I don't attach great importance to this day myself? I just think that this one day, the day of the birth, is nothing particularly special, or at least not more than any other of the remaining year. I don't understand why one is particularly friendly or affectionate that one day and less the rest of the year? I try every single day to make sure that someone feels loved and valued because you're nobody else on your birthday or have achieved something else? When I feel the need to tell someone how much I love that person, I do, when I feel the need or inspiration to give someone a gift, I do, or when I'm prouf of someon's achievements, I tell them! I don't know, does that make sense?

But anyway, I still wish you a very special day today! I hope you can do what you enjoy today, that you can eat what you enjoy, that you can make the day the way you love it and that you're surrounded by those you love the most!

I want to let you know that you mean so incredible much to me, that I admire you endlessly, that you inspire me, that you're extremely important to me and that I wish you the very best in the whole world from the bottom of my heart! The meaning that you have for me is limitless and for nothing in the world would I want to trade anything that makes you you. I think of you and I very much hope that you're not disappointed with me because of the lack of a present!

I love you very much and I send you a really long, intense hug and the most positive thoughts you can imagine ♡

Lunaaaaaa ~ 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰💖💖💖💖💖

OMG darling I am so sorry I didn't get to this yesterday!😰😱How are you? How is everything? Are you okay?💛💛💛💛

Angel, you are far too kind to me omg🥺🥺🥺💗💗💗I realise this is super cliche, but your friendship is gift enough and you give me so much every day just by being you! Everything you came up with sounds perfect and I'm sorry that you weren't satisfied with them.😔I do empathise, angel, because I have the same trouble with making gifts for people. It's either not enough, in my mind, or something is wrong with it, but then the person receives it and they love it and all those flaws I spotted; where I could have expanded detail in that sentence or made that moodboard photo sharper on the edge, or where I didn't include this thing or that... and they don't notice it, or if they do, they love it anyway. It's not so much the gift which counts, but the thoughts behind it and the effort and the love. Honey, everything you do for me and with me is full of those things already.

I just think that this one day, the day of the birth, is nothing particularly special, or at least not more than any other of the remaining year. I don't understand why one is particularly friendly or affectionate that one day and less the rest of the year? I try every single day to make sure that someone feels loved and valued because you're nobody else on your birthday or have achieved something else? When I feel the need to tell someone how much I love that person, I do, when I feel the need or inspiration to give someone a gift, I do, or when I'm prouf of someon's achievements, I tell them! I don't know, does that make sense?

YES!!👏👏👏👏I'm exactly the same way! I don't see the point of celebrating just one day when all days are equally important! Don't save saying things like love for the birthday, say it every day and then it doesn't matter if you don't say it on the one day, because it's already said. I totally agree, darling!!!🤗💝

Thank you very much for the birthday wishes, darling, that's very kind of you! I spent lots of time with my F/Os, I ate lots of cake, I studied a lot... I had a relatively normal day, aside from the fact that I felt warm and glowy and loved🥺💗

Thank you, darling. Thank you, thank you, thank you.🥺🥺🥺💖💖💖You mean so much to me as well! You're such a kind, loving and tender-hearted person and you mean the world to me. I wish you the best of everything, darling, and anything I can do for you to help you or to be there for you in some kind of way is worth everything!!! I love you so much darling and I'm thinking of you!💜💜💜Darling, your friendship is already a gift and everything you share with me is something I cherish; you are a gift and I can't thank you enough for loving me as you do and for being in my life in all the ways that you are.🥰💕💕 I love you so much and I'm sending you lots of love and hugs!

Those GIFS😍😍😍😍😍my most precious ones hasdfghjk thank you darling!!🤍✨✨✨

[bronyinabottle]

In a recent post on I Dream of Twilight Sparkle I said that I noticed asks that were not in my inbox the last time I decided to read through my entire ask box. So I did the same for my mod blog. And while there were some also that I didn't see before. Most are questions I feel either I feel like I may have already sufficiently answered enough with my thoughts on an episode and/or it'd be weird at this point to answer something that's obviously years after the fact.

But there is two I found that I feel like I may want to respond to. The person who sent it was someone who used to discuss the show with me almost all the time, though obviously they must no longer be on Tumblr as all their blogs are deactivated. But I still want to answer since it is sort of relevant to recent stuff. Particularly in their 2nd ask.

By the way, I'm always open to questions on the show or even non-pony topics here on my modblog. I still do love talking about G4 ponies and I wouldn't mind some questions if any of you would like to know my opinion on anything. Now that the show has been over for nearly 2 years , I can have a perspective on many topics about Friendship is Magic that I wouldn't mind sharing. Maybe some things have changed here and there, though I think I still generally have a positive attitude towards most things for certain. I stuck with the show until the very end, and was satisfied with how it ended. And I still have interest in doing more in G4's world even as G5 approaches. (Though I'm sure perhaps once that movie has aired that may be the focus of any questions sent here)

((My answer and more after the break))

For the most part, I think I still generally agree with what I said in my initial thoughts about the Season 6 finale. It's a solid episode with some great interactions between Starlight, Trixie, Discord, and Thorax. Though the way the ending is executed is a bit of a headscratcher. Maybe somewhat less so since thinking about it now, like even if Chrysalis did keep some things loyal. What would stop them from eventually seeing what Thorax's changelings did shortly after.

But I suppose I wanted to answer this mostly about Starlight. Since while the Season 6 finale made HomerJ get over some remaining feelings about Starlight. I'll admit it took literally until writing Secrets of the Dragon's Tear (A year after the show was over) to realize the sort of potential that Starlight had. The baggage from the Season 5 finale always felt like a cloud above her for the entire rest of the show's run. And I consider Season 6's largest mistake is not trying harder to endear us to Starlight. That's what that season's entire job was, to try to make us feel a little better of how rather rushed Starlight's redemption was by giving us a more expanded look into Starlight's character. And unfortunately, I feel like it failed at that in my opinion. Thus I basically disagree (Though respect the opinion of) with those who would say the Season 6 finale was when Starlight finally won them over.

Don't get me wrong, I like how Starlight is portrayed in the episode. But it would of been stronger if say the season had explained more about Starlight's past. How did Starlight get her cutie mark, and given her opinion on Cutie Marks how did she feel at the time?

Instead, we mostly just got Starlight reuniting with Sunburst that didn't exactly give any more details to her rather vague reasons for turning to darkness from him moving away other then finding out Sunburst's personality and how his side of the story went. And from there we had Starlight befriend Trixie... in an episode I still don't really like to this day.

Ironically, the character in the Hearth's Warming episode that casts Starlight as the story's version of Scrooge (Snowfall Frost) is given more reason to sympathize with then Starlight herself.

Starlight then just about disappears up until the episode that introduces Thorax. Where she doesn't do much other then be among the crowd that Spike has to convince that Thorax is not evil.

The next time we see her is Every Little Thing She Does. Which is something of a controversial ep from what I hear, though ironically despite my skepticism of Starlight at the time. I actually sort of liked that episode since it was basically Starlight's own Lesson Zero. Though I get why Starlight deciding to hypnotize all the Mane 6 besides Twilight against their will would not be approved of. Though it does feel like at the very least Twilight and the rest give her enough of a piece of their mind at the end.

And that's how things stood before the Season 6 finale happened. Even though I do think Starlight has good moments in said finale, nothing earlier in the season really dispelled many of my feelings about the Season 5 finale's ending. So despite a good showing, I could hardly care for it. I wasn't convinced yet we were given a satisfactory answer about the many questions that Starlight's sudden redemption prompted.

Another part of my thoughts I feel still applies is when I mentioned that Starlight's a "Diet Sunset Shimmer" (Which considering what I did to link the two for SOTDT, is a bit funny in hindsight). It took just one movie (Rainbow Rocks) for the fanbase to turn a 180 on Sunset. While an entire season with Starlight as one of the good guys goes by and she remained just as divisive as before if not more so by the end of Season 6.

Come Season 7, and Starlight appears quite a bit more often though under the assumption that the Season 6 finale was enough to warm you up to her. There were many complaints during the first half of Season 7 that she was appearing more then she should (Even in an Equestria Girls special where she got to meet the character she was so often compared to). Though another thing about Starlight in Season 7 in hindsight is besides from her meeting a few more friends like Maud. Starlight isn't actually given much to actually work towards. They dropped the whole student aspect so it's not like she was doing friendship lessons under Twilight anymore (Though I suppose on the bright side for the detractors, it lessened worries about her becoming an Alicorn). Season 8 and 9 does somewhat fix that by having Starlight employed at the school, first as a counselor and ultimately ending with her as the school's Principal as Twilight herself got promoted to sole ruler. Which I'm still unsure about if fans of her character feel that was a proper ending for her. Though probably the best that could of been done in context of not much having been done with her over time.

Still, at least for me personally it felt there was alot missing about Starlight and as time went on it became obvious I wasn't going to get the satisfactory answers about her that I wanted. So as a result, I only had lukewarm reactions when a new Starlight episode was coming up. It also didn't help that there were two episodes that raised my hopes of at least one interesting aspect that would of been cool to see. The first being the episode "All Bottled Up" which I had hoped would mean it would be an episode that's somewhat genie related. And then there was Road to Friendship where Starlight and Trixie try to travel to Saddle Arabia (which is an important location in I Dream of Twilight Sparkle)... and yet never actually get there. So even on the few times that I was hoping to be excited about a Starlight episode, it dropped the ball. Partly my fault for getting so hyped about something that wasn't promised, but I would of loved to at least SEEN canon Saddle Arabia.

I'd never say that I hated Starlight back during the show's run. But she was a frustrating character for certain back then. I couldn't hate Starlight as much as some others did, but at the same time I couldn't like her as much as others. She was in likability limbo. For every fun and or good moment that included her, it's brought right back by either lingering problems that arised from the Season 5 finale or otherwise dropping the ball in some way.

In some ways, she's still a frustrating character. Though that's just how it'll always be with the canon Starlight. It's up entirely now to fanon to give their approach on Starlight that was never done in Canon. With SOTDT, I obviously did a bit of a "Fine, I'll do it myself" when it comes to making Starlight a more satisfactory character for me. Though I'm sure there are many interpretations that are vastly different from how I approached it that can satisfy others and probably be more popular and better written then mine. (My interpretation might be understandably controversial just for Starlight being put back on a path where she'll likely become an Alicorn eventually. Something Starlight detractors feared the most. Though I think I at least try to explain as best I could that makes sense with the story, her cutie mark moment being similar to Twilight's, and the identity of her mother. And I myself sort of feared Starlight becoming an Alicorn might happen, so for me to actually write it so that it might be inevitable. That's just how much of a 180 I've taken on Starlight because of writing SOTDT)

I think I mentioned this before, but I can pretty much say that in a way that I can actually say I like Starlight now. But sort of in a "FiM's biggest missed opportunity" sort of way that it becomes sort of sad to look at how canon Starlight was done. Rather then me simply shrugging her off back when I didn't care so much about her. I also understand it's a bit cheating to say I like Starlight now after doing my own sort of fanfic that had her in a major role since that might be me tooting my own horn a bit.

Though I will say as much as necessary that I am very aware alot of what happens in SOTDT would have been impossible to do in canon and I don't plan on pushing what I did to expand on Starlight's backstory as gospel. It only applies to what I'm doing on the blog, I will not be making a case that my interpretation is the only correct one. I'd actually welcome seeing some different interpretations on things such as who Starlight's mother is, what they feel her past was like outside of the Sunburst leaving incident, and/or especially how Starlight originally got her cutie mark. (I've even said my personal guess is different then how I did it in SOTDT, as my guess is she got it the first time she discovered the cutie mark removal spell). Cause if nothing else, I've realized Starlight is a very interesting character that I think would be fun to explore all the possibilities with. It certainly could be something for those still on the G4 train to talk with one another about.