#I am one hundred percent sure this is a bad idea and will end with both of us dead but let't do this

[poppadom0912]

Hi! You have so many good Chicago stories! I had an idea for a Will Halstead fic, if you'd be interested... OC/Reader is a nurse at Med, she and Will are a (newish?) couple. She has been sick or hurt, but isn't telling Will, to avoid worrying him - Sharon (or someone) has been on his ass, for something he didn't do of course, but he's been under a microscope, so she doesn't want to bother or distract him - until she passes out or ends up in an OR (depending on the illness/injury) and he finds out after the fact... Heavy on the angst is always good ;)

A/N: I'm a sucker for angst. Hope this is good enough. I tried researching as accurately as possible but there might be inaccuracies.

I'm posting this is celebration of not failing my exams which means no resitting! I didn't get the high grades I wanted but we move on. Enjoy!! Hope this is good enough.

Warnings: Canon-typical injuries, blood, angst w a happy ending, surgery

*****

Becoming a nurse was inevitable for you because it was the next best thing after a doctor and you didn't want to go through all those extra years of learning and debt.

You were born with a congenital heart defect as a result of your mother poorly caring for her diabetes during pregnancy. All your life, your parents had been on top of your health, always dragging you to specialists and making sure you were still taking your meds.

You moved states several years ago and now you weren't constantly reminded of the defect you were born with.

There were times though when you did get forgetful and Will never complained about your bad trait that you couldn't handle, he shrugged it off and made sure your health was one hundred percent.

Your relationship was in the honeymoon phase, six months in you were both decently comfortable. Everyone was aware of your relationship but you both agreed to keep work at work and home at home.

Recently, Will was under extra scrutiny from Sharon because of a small incident that happened in the ED when his brother rolled up bleeding from his shoulder. No one could blame him for his reaction, it was completely justified but that hospital were being asses and wouldn't let go.

Following this, your interactions at work decreased at your suggestion to make things a little easier for him. And at first, it was working but then it just got straight up frustrating.

All of a sudden, following the intense summer heatwave, everyone's workload doubled and your hours never lined up. You'd be leaving and he'd be preparing for his second double shift of the week.

And things only got worse from there. You were so busy because of the nurse shortages that your priorities began shifting, your health dwindling down the list.

But no one needed to know that.

*****

Week One

"And that's me done, you ready to break?" Will asked, setting aside the tablet on the desk. You both took your breaks together as much as you could, any time you could get together you would take.

"Yes I am." You nodded, slipping your hand into his as you began walking out of the ED. "I remember someone promising coffee from the cart outside."

Will chuckled, rolling his eyes at the reminder of the expensive coffee sitting outside that you loved. Just as he was going to reply, Maggie shouting your name stopped him.

Sighing, your heart felt heavy both figuratively and literally. With a sheepish smile, you pecked him on the cheek with a promise to catch him later on during shift.

Not being able to get a word in, Will simply watched you scurry off to help the next incoming patient, leaving him to change directions towards the cafeteria.

*****

Week two

You should've been more attentive but being short of breath after a run wasn't uncommon. It was early morning and Will's side of the bed was empty so you took what used to be a daily run alone.

As the day progressed, you started feeling tired and your fatigue progressed. It should've been the first sign to you that you needed to slow down and take care of yourself but the next shooting in Chicago just couldn't wait.

"Y/N, are you okay?" April asked, standing besides you with a new file in hand. "You look pale."

"I'm fine." You assured her, nodding as you licked your drying lips. "And before you ask, Will doesn't know and doesn't need to be interrupted, he has a patient in the ICU."

April backed away apprehensively, always trying to check up with you whenever time permitted. Maybe she was also to blame for not being more forceful with her concerns.

It wasn't her fault that she forgot you had a heart disease.

*****

Week three

"I love you so much." You muttered against his forehead before stepping away to leave the dark bedroom.

Will stirred slightly at the contact, shifting under the covers and further messing up his curls you so badly wanted to delve your fingers into but you were on a time crunch.

Just as you were leaving the room, your chest clenched, pain suddenly overtaking you. Clutching onto the door frame, your grip slacked and your bag dropped causing Will to wake up.

"What's wrong?" Will asked in his half awake state, completely disheveled. He was blinking the sleep away while he turned to you and tried to see what was wrong but failed due to severe sleep deprivation.

"Are you okay? What happened?" He continued, voice hoarse like it usually was after a deep sleep

For some reason, you struggled to form words, your chest feeling as though it was being stabbed repeatedly.

And for some reason, you couldn't come up with a logical excuse and you stupidly left without a word to your lover.

*****

Week four

You couldn't ignore it anymore.

It felt like your body was starting to give up on you. You were constantly tired and out of breath and the chest pains never let up, at times, they even doubled and felt worse than the worst of your period cramps.

The biggest flashing red warning sign should've been when you fainted in the bathroom after your shower.

You came home shattered from your 24 hour shift. Just as you walked in the door, Will was leaving for his 48 hour shift. At this point, you really felt like the world was against you.

You were kinda like roommates more than romantic partners. You were barely at home together and at work, you tried to keep interactions to a minimum after the small incident that the board was elevating ridiculously.

Waking up on the bathroom rug, your body felt numb almost paralysed. It was like what movies described comas to be but your chest was still pulsating in pain.

You weren't being a really good nurse because you simply got up, drank some water and ate some food before sleeping it off.

*****

Week five

The silence was suffocating.

The two of you finally got more than two minutes together but words somehow failed you.

With droopy eyes and furrowed brows, your hands itched to grab the blue scrubs covering your chest. If it wasn't for your boyfriend sitting opposite you, you would've been hunched over the sinks in the women's room.

"What's wrong?" It was a question but with that tone, it felt more like a demand. His two words hit you hard, your eyes dragging from the table up to his big brown eyes filled with nothing but eternal love and concern. "And don't say nothing cause that's clearly bullshit."

And for some reason, you flinched.

Licking your chapped lips, you scrunched your eyes closed at the pain encasing your heart. Despite being back on your medication, the pain didn't cease.

"Y/N? Baby-"

"CODE SILVER. CODE SILVER IN THE ED."

*****

Today

For the past week, Will was hypervigilant about his work. Peter kalmik was never his biggest fan so it didn't help he was constantly making his presence known along with the more power holding board members.

You hated how he no longer fought his case and he just conformed, keeping his head buried in the sand and distanced himself from those he cared about.

It got to such a point that when Jay came in with only work intentions, Will physically forced himself to stay well away.

You were so caught up in your concern for him that you neglected your medication on the kitchen counter.

The pain today all of a sudden increased tenfold in the middle of shift. You were helping Doris turn over a treatment room, listening as she talked about her family drama that you loved to hear about when you felt the world come to an abrupt stop.

Before you knew it, breath escaped you and darkness enveloped you.

“Y/N?!” Doris shouted, going around the bed and crouching down besides your unconscious body.

As she started checking your pulse and your breathing, Connor ran in with Maggie in tow having witnessed you fall from the nurses desk.

In a flurry of rushed movements, you were placed on a bed as your friends searched for the cause of your unconscious state. Out of the blue, Maggie spoke up, reminding everyone of your heart condition.

Equipped with the new but old information, the cardiothoracic surgeon was now more than confident he was able to help you.

"Whose her emergency contact? Is it still her parents or has it been changed to Will?" Connor asked the charge nurse as they started wheeling the gurney towards the elevators. They needed to get you into surgery as soon as possible before you deteriorated.

"Good question."

"Page him anyways."

"Already on it."

*****

"I'm a horrible boyfriend."

"No you're not."

"All the signs were there and I missed them."

"We did too."

"I know Connor is one of the best but what if-"

"I'm going to stop you right there." Maggie cut him off, looking at him sternly, eerily resembling the face of a mother telling off her child. "This is no ones fault and you know that, stop punishing yourself for something no one could control."

Will opened his mouth to interject but stopped himself when Maggie held her hand up. "Yes, maybe Y/N should've taken better care of herself but as a doctor, you know that this surgery was inevitable anyways."

"It's better that she was already in the hospital and not home alone where no one would've noticed till you finished in another eight hours." Maggie continued, being more gentle as she got her point across. She was just as concerned but for everyone else's sake, she could be their pillar.

"Look at her Will." Maggie said, gently rubbing him on the back, hopefully bringing him some comfort. "She's in the best hands."

And of course Will knew that, he wouldn't say it to Connor's face but the man was a heck of a surgeon. There was no one else he would want operating on you but he was simply unnerved to no end.

He couldn't wipe off this icky feeling he had. It lurked around him like a shadow and stuck to him like a stain. He felt like a failure - he was unable to help you as both a doctor and a boyfriend - what good was he?

News spread of your collapse around the hospital and as an automatic response, the hospital board stepped metres away from Will, almost like he was sick with a deathly contagious disease.

It was so stupid that it was funny.

Will wanted to rip his hair out. How he was even standing watching your surgery was beyond him right now. He felt sick to his stomach at the sight of your chest cracked open, your heart just there for the world to see.

He never felt so useless before.

*****

Waking up was one of the most confusing scenarios you've ever been in. The last thing you remembered was being in the ED with Doris before blinking and the next thing you knew, you were waking up in recovery.

Your body felt like the heaviest gym weights were sat on you. Your mouth unbelievably dry as your eyes squinted in the dim lighting, trying to look around the room for any sign of life.

And right by your bedside, sleeping in a very awkward position was the man you considered the love of your life.

It must've been the movement of your head, you literally turning your head less than 90 degrees that woke him up because without any further prompting, Will was no longer dead to the world.

Instantly, he was alive and alert, no trace of sleep anywhere on his face as he made eye contact with you.

He felt as light as a feather to see you awake, the biggest weight being lifted off his chest from the relief that nothing went wrong despite knowing Connor made no mistake at all.

"Pulmonary valve stenosis." Was the first thing Will said, easily recognising the confusion painting your face. "Connor put in a balloon. They'll keep you for probably a week to monitor you to see if you need a valvotomy."

You hummed, letting him know that you understood everything he told you without talking. Somehow, without even looking at him, he knew and brought forth a cup with a straw in, holding it to your mouth allowing you to sip easily.

"I'm so sorry Y/N." Will said earnestly, his eyes shimmering as he intertwined your fingers with his. "I wasn't paying enough attention to you otherwise-"

"Stop." You interrupted him, voice still slightly hoarse from not using it. "Blaming yourself helps no one."

"What's done is done." You continued, squeezing his hands when he squeezed yours first. "I'm really the one to blame. If I took care of myself and did something when I first was having problems then we wouldn't be here."

Silence followed, the only sound being the constant beeping from all the machines attached to you.

"Never faint on me again, you hear me?"

"Can't promise you that babes."

"Yes you can."

"You're hilarious Will."

"No, I'm being serious Y/N."

"Don't make me laugh, where's Connor Rhodes, my favourite doctor?"

"Very funny, I think I'll buy April expensive cart coffee next time."

[thencitytales]

Non-stop Teasing - CYJ

🌷Pairing: Choi Yeonjun of TXT x fem!reader (3rd person used)

🌷 kinda enemies to lovers

🌷wc: 4.1k

🌷 Fluff? sort of angsty tho

🌷 warning: drinking, cussing, frat party, Yeonjun being kind of down bad

🌷There are a few other idols mentioned, some of them in a relationship with each other, I do not think these people are together nor do I ship them, I just felt like the story could have used these dort of relationships (ChaewonxWooyoung, KarinaxJeno)

🌷 Hey!! I am back because i felt like it. This fic is a fleeting idea i had a long time ago and was finally able to finish. In the beginning it was not meant for Yeonjun but it had mostly OC'S so if you see random names I'm sorry, I have yet to proofread it. Feel free to give me notes and feedback, as I appreciate it a lot!! 'Til next time <3

(not my GIF)

Yeonjun. Stupid, fucking Yeonjun.

Idiot, average-looking yet so stupidly attractive Yeonjun.

“If you really hate him you should stop staring at him, you know?” a blonde girl talked to her best friend, who shushed her in response.

“Shut up Chaewon, I’m not staring” Y/N retorted against her best friend. 

Except she was, and she knew it.

Another person in the library was also very aware of Y/N and what she was doing, because he could feel her eyes pierce through his head. 

And he loved it.

“Ask anybody here, they’ll say you’re staring,” Chaewon said in an amused tone, making Y/N’s eye twitch in frustration.

“Well, then it’s hate-staring, glaring if you will,” Y/N looked away from the boy and glared at her best friend, turning her head ever so slowly, as to recreate the scene in a horror movie.

“Just like I’m glaring at you right now.” Chaewon let out a laugh at her friend’s antics and shrugged it off.

“Sure thing, love. Keep telling yourself that.”Chaewon said. Y/N could only scoff before going back to look at her books.

Look was indeed the best word to describe what she was doing, the words on the page being read for the tenth time in as many minutes without understanding nor absorbing any of it. Biology sucked, and so did Y/N’s brain at that moment. So much so that after a couple of seconds she got distracted again.

“What is it with the stupid beanie anyway? Like what’s the deal with that? DO YOU THINK HE HAS A BALD SPOT?” Y/N whisper-screamed, making Chaewon almost spit out the water she was trying to drink after finally reaching the end of her chapter.

Suddenly the girls heard a louder voice coming from behind them.

“It’s actually for style-related purposes, no bald spot, though if you’re still in doubt you could always ask him. Also, Y/N, you were one hundred percent staring at Yeonjun, just FYI.” Wooyoung said whilst chuckling at the little jump the girls made upon hearing him. Y/N turned around, red in the face, a mixture of embarrassment for being caught and pure wrath, caused by Wooyoung’s presence.

“How long have you been here?” She said bitterly. The boy could sense she wanted to add something, the words dying in her throat a bit too fast. He assumed a “dickhead”, or “asshole” was missing, but he let it go, not teasing her any further. 

“The whole time, love,” he said mocking what Chaewon had said to her friend just a few minutes prior. Then turned away and returned to his spot at the same table with Yeonjun, Soobin and Changbin.

Y/N looked warily at her surroundings to make sure no one else was around to eavesdrop on them.

“How in actual hell are you able to like that guy?” Her shocked expression clearly visible on her features.

Chaewon shrugged.

“He just likes to tease you, he’s actually very nice” She answered, her cheeks turning slightly pink before continuing. 

“I mean it’s not like they’re the fuckboys group.” When Chaewon said that, Y/N was still looking at them and immediately turned around. 

“No, they’re worse, at least the fuckboys are self-aware of how awful they are” she sighed.

“Oh my God you’re so dramatic,” Chaewon said rolling her eyes before going back to typing at her computer. 

Y/N shut up and went back to try and drill a hole through Yeonjun’s head with her gaze, sadly, without any success.

As if on cue, the boy turned around, looked at her, smirked, and turned back to speak with Changbin, making her avert her gaze and awkwardly look around to find God knows what.

She couldn’t take it anymore, her heart pounding in her chest was beginning to feel like it was too much, she could literally hear it and the sensation made her shudder. She got up and headed to the bathroom searching for some quick fix to the sudden heat of her body.

As soon as she got there Y/N quickly splashed her face with some cold water to try and stop it from getting all red, failing miserably. She looked defeatedly at her reflection.

“This is a PSA for that tiny voice living at the back of my head, I am kindly asking you to shut up” She lightly hit her head with her hand in the process so that the point would go across. 

“You understand me??” The girl sighed and took a step back from the sink to exit the bathroom, but as soon as she turned around a familiar face was standing leaning on the door frame.

“Try hitting it harder next time, that should work better.” He chuckled lightly before taking a step towards her.

“This is the girls’ bathroom, Yeonjun” Y/N backed up and glared at him for what was probably the thousandth time that day.

“Sorry, I was headed to the guys’ bathroom but something here caught my attention” he smirked once again. 

Y/N was on the verge of breaking. That smirk. He had to know the effect it had on her. Or was it just a stupid habit of his? 

It didn’t really matter. Either way, she wanted to kiss him so badly right now. And subsequently, run away, completely change identities, go to Peru, and start a potato plantation or something, to hopefully never be found again. She would never EVER admit to wanting to kiss that boy.

Frustrated even more than before, she ran back to the table where Chaewon was waiting for her, shoving Yeonjun in the process, and making him audibly laugh, clearly enjoying how easily he could fluster her.

“I gotta go, or I’m going to be late for the party,” Chaewon said the moment she saw her best friend enter her view.

“Again” Y/N added to Chaewon’s statement, knowing how long the blonde usually takes to get ready. The other girl got up and quickly added:

“Remember, I’ll be at your dorm around 10 pm, we’ll see what to do from there. Remind Ryujin too when you get home, please.” Chaewon said while collecting all of her stuff and messily throwing it in her bag.

“Sure thing, I’ll finish this chapter and go home too in a half-hour or so. Don’t worry about Ryujin, knowing her, she’ll be all dressed up already. You know who you should be worried about, though.” Y/N answered, looking up from her books.

“I already texted Karina, I told her I’d be at hers around 9:30 so she’ll hopefully be ready when we actually get there.” The girl chuckled at her best friend’s trickery and waved her goodbye, mumbling a “perfect” in the meanwhile.

On her way out Chaewon was stopped in her tracks by a slightly taller figure.

“Hey there,” he sweetly addressed the girl.

“Hi Wooyoung, I’d love to stop and chat with you but I really need to go.”

“See you at the party, then” Chaewon looked at him surprised.

“You should really stop eavesdropping other people’s conversations. Besides, you don’t even know which party we were talking about, there’s like 5 every Friday night without counting the ones outside of campus” 

He gave her a playful smile and said “Don’t worry, I’ll figure it out.” The girl laughed and answered “Good luck, darling” before going her way.

After that Wooyoung quickly got back to the guys’ table where all of his friends were sitting, trying to finish some sort of group project.

“Okay, talking about important things, what do you guys know about parties tonight?” Wooyoung said, sitting down.

“You mean here in the campus? or in general? Also like, frat houses or bars?” Soobin started throwing questions at him to try and narrow down the search.

“I don't know, man, Chaewon was talking to the Menace and they said they were going to a party tonight.” Wooyoung just answered him calmly.

As soon as he heard the words “Menace” and “party” together in a sentence Yeonjun’s interest was piqued. He looked at Wooyoung, completely ignoring the semi-blank document opened in front of him.

“Well I don’t think they’d go off campus, the Menace is too lazy for that, she’d want to be as close to the dorm as possible.” Soobin started the brainstorming session.

“That still leaves like at least five or six parties” Changbin pointed out, then turned to Wooyoung and asked:

“Is it just the two of them?” to which Wooyoung quickly added Ryujin and Karina to the mix.

As soon as Karina’s name came up Changbin and Soobin looked at each other and said: “Keystone Lodge.”

“Is there something I don’t know?” Wooyoung asked given how the boys answered the place of the party seemed obvious but he had no idea.

“Karina’s boyfriend, Jeno. He’s in the frat.” Soobin pointed out.

“Okay but aren’t parties at KL like, invitation-only or something like that?” Changbin quickly raised the question.

Yeonjun, who had just started fantasizing about what could’ve happened at the party and had no intentions of having his dreams ruined just like that, said: “don’t worry guys, be prepared, I’ll text you later.” and quickly got up and gathered his things before exiting the library.

“Does he have to do it every time?” Soobin asked.

“He got it from Mark, says it gives him the surprise effect later on and the mysterious effect right away.” Changbin answered rolling his eyes, to which the other two guys only answered almost in awe with an “Ooh.” probably thinking it was the best idea a man could have.

“Okay, how did you get us in Yeonjun?” Wooyoung asked, almost alarmed at how quickly and seemingly easily their friend acquired the invitations.

“I know Haechan, and he owed me. He still does.” the older boy simply stated, raising Wooyoung's alarm instead of calming him down.

“Now let’s get this party started” Yeonjun exclaimed walking up the stairs to Keystone’s Lodge with a smirk on his face.

“You’re going to try and make her life hell, aren’t you?” Changbin said clearly amused at how his friend was planning on being even more annoying to Y/N than he usually was.

“Just wait and see Changbin, just wait and see.” the smirk on Yeonjun’s face growing with every step to the door he knocked on, where they found a guy standing alone, waiting for proof of invitations.

Inside the Frat house, the music was blasting. The air felt damp and everything smelled like cheap alcohol, adding to the mix the group of smoking boys at the far end of the room anyone could imagine that the atmosphere was not very romantic. Which is exactly what they expected.

Changbin went straight for the bar, getting everybody something to drink as the other guys scanned the room for their targets. 

Wooyoung quickly saw Chaewon sitting on the couch with her friends. They were talking to a few frat guys but they seemed nonthreatening enough to his ego. The Menace was sitting dangerously close to one of them, almost in his lap. Wooyoung could not recognize the guy though, no matter how much he squinted.

He nudged his friends and with a nod pointed the scene out, hoping they would get curious and approach them, so he could flirt with Chaewon once again. 

As soon as he realized what was going on, Soobin turned to look at Yeonjun’s reaction, gesturing to Changbin to hurry over, so he could witness it too because despite what those two liked to admit, they had this tension between them that was almost romantic. They were definitely, on some level, attracted to each other but they would never admit it. That’s why Changbin Soobin and Wooyoung were now staring at Yeonjun, hoping to catch a glimpse of whatever they had theorized.

Yeonjun’s brows furrowed. The night just started and everything had to be so simple already, not even a bit of a challenge. He sighed, took a drink from Changbin’s hands, and turned to Wooyoung. 

“Let’s go say hi to your princess, shall we?” Yeonjun told his friend, who was very happy about the poor lighting, meaning the other boys were not made aware of his rosy cheeks prompted by Yeonjun's comment.

As they approached, Chaewon saw them and a big smile tugged on her lips. She raised a hand to say hi and the boys did the same.

“Well Well Well, I’m surprised to see little Sherlock actually did find us.” She chuckled looking at Wooyoung.

“I told you I could do it. I’m very resourceful” he winked and the girl lightly laughed. 

Everybody then fell back into conversation, except Y/N and her mystery guy, who were so distracted by each other that they didn’t even say hi to the newcomers. 

Yeonjun cleared his voice. 

“I know you don’t like us Y/N but not saying hi is simply rude, even for you.” He smirked, knowing very well what it did to her.

The girl turned around, her surroundings didn’t make it easy to hear but she was sure she heard a voice talking to her. 

From her sitting position she looked at the new figures that had joined the conversation. And then she saw his face. She simply rolled her eyes.

“Who even invited you here? Seriously, please tell me so I can avoid the lunatic all night long, people just become crazier and crazier by the day”

“Actually,” Yeonjun chuckled.

The guy whom Y/N was talking to gently removed his hands from her hips, feeling a bit embarrassed. 

“I think that might have been me,” He said. 

Y/N looked at Haechan with a void expression.

“You’re his friend?” She asked, not believing it for a moment.

Haechan was slightly taken aback by the question, thinking the answer to be obvious, so he simply answered:

“Yeah?” at which Y/N glared at both the boys.

“That’s a shame, I really liked you.” And with that, she got up and went to the bar to pour herself yet another drink. The alcohol was probably what made her act so suddenly with that silly explanation but even sober her had no intention of being affiliated in any way with Yeonjun.

Seeing how Y/N was behaving, the boy thought that his mission was going to be such a delight with how simple she was making it.

Yeonjun followed her, leaving behind their friends absorbed in whatever conversation, and a very confused Haechan sitting on the couch.

As Y/N approached the bar, she bumped into a few people obstructing passages left and right and leaving her even more annoyed than she already was.

She took one of the red cups and poured herself some beer. 

Not the ideal drink but it was the first thing her hands were able to grasp. 

As she was about to take a sip, a hand snatched her drink.

“Thanks, I was very thirsty,” Yeonjun told her, earning a glare once again that day.

“How do you manage to be so annoying Yeonjun?” Y/N said while pouring another cup, this time she grabbed some gin, sensing she would need something stronger than a beer.

“I give it my best, just for you” he grinned.

Y/N couldn’t help but groan as she looked for the soda to mix her drink.

“What did I ever do to you? Have I offended you in any way? Are you holding a grudge from your past life?? Why do you like to annoy me so much??” She sighed in defeat.

“Woah,” Yeonjun said taken aback by the sudden seriousness of the question.

“Well, for starters I could ask you the same thing…” He answered calmly.

As she started to protest he shushed her.

“Buut, I am not going to lie, I do find you very cute when you’re frustrated” He chuckled.

“Are you hitting on me?” She asked, mouth agape.

“Do you want me to be hitting on you?” There it was again. The stupidest grin on the face of the earth. If there was a way to wipe it off instantly, Y/N would’ve gladly taken that chance. Thinking about it, there was a way, and to be honest she had reluctantly considered that way many times before, but always ended up avoiding it.

A kiss was not the solution, everything it could’ve done was only create more problems.

She was snapped back to reality by Yeonjun waving his hands in front of her eyes. She had been staring at the grin for god knows how long. A faint red was starting to tint her cheeks.

“You want to kiss me so badly,” Yeonjun told her, the grin never leaving his face.

She tried to play it as cool as possible, hoping the poor lighting of the room helped her conceive the blushing situation.

“Projecting much?” She smiled turning on her heels, determined to get out of the house for some fresh air.

As she walked away Yeonjun screamed over the music.

“I never said I wouldn’t like it” Y/N briefly stopped in her tracks, surprised by the sudden confession. Thinking it was just another way of getting under her skin she slowly reached the door and opened it, stepping out onto the backyard.

“You just love messing with her, don’t you?” Chaewon said as she approached Yeonjun, Wooyoung by her side, holding her waist.

“I have a tendency not to lie, actually. Everything I said is true. She’s just… compelling” he tried to find the best word to describe her.

“Compelling? You mean messing with her like that is compelling?” Chaewon said, a bit offended that Yeonjun enjoyed toying with her friend’s emotions like that.

“Tell me Chaewon, when have I ever done anything truly bad to her? All I do is tease, in her opinion, when in reality I was always simply…” Yeonjun said, meanwhile Chaewon tried to start a list of all the times he’s gotten you frustrated and quickly realized most times it was just his very annoying, twisted way of ... 

“Flirting,” Chaewon said, shocked. She looked at him straight in the eyes, her expression painted with shock.

“Oh my God, you just flirt with her” Chaewon continued. She suddenly realized that every time Yeonjun ever talked to Y/N he was flirting, and that enraged her friend for some reason. He never actually DID anything bad to her. He never insulted her, let alone take action to actively ruin her day. The only times he did something of the sort she was always with a guy, like 10 minutes ago with Haechan. Yeonjun was always just… flirting with Y/N.

“I am very confused.” Wooyoung said looking at his two friends.

“You never admitted it to us and it takes you like three seconds to tell it to her best friend? I kinda hate you and I am not sure I would like to be friends with you anymore.” Wooyoung continued while watching Yeonjun's every move and acting offended.

“It’s not like you guys ever really asked, I thought it was obvious if I have to be honest. She’s pretty, she’s smart, she can be a pain in the ass but she’s one of the nicest and kindest people I ever met. Not with me, which I can not really comprehend, but if teasing her incessantly is the only way I can get her to interact with me I don’t think I will ever stop.” Yeonjun said earnestly to his friend. A small smile appeared on his features, almost sheepishly.

A voice behind him startled him right after.

“What did he just say??” it was Changbin, who basically screamed in his ear after he heard just half of the confession.

“I think he likes the Menace!!” Soobin screamed at Changbin (and in Yeonjun’s other ear) in hopes of being understood over the loud music.

Meanwhile, Y/N was outside, freezing because she forgot to bring a jacket. 

Why did he have to always be so annoying, why did he always have something to say that would just make her heart beat at a worrying speed? Why did she have to like him so fucking much?

As her mind birthed the last few words she stopped pacing back and forth on the grass.

Of course, she liked him. It seemed as if every stupid decision she could make she would take and this was not even a conscious one. 

It would explain why her fight or flight response would kick in every time he would even just look in her direction, and her choice was fight. 

Thinking about kissing him all those times was not just a stupid silly thought. 

Y/N was hopeless.

"So?" The question was raised suddenly by a voice she recognised immediately.

He was standing right there, in front of her, handing her her jacket.

She happily took it, silently thanking him with a smile before muttering.

"So what?" her eyes looking at him defeated. She liked him and he was just playing. He was just teasing, and look where all that teasing led her. A terrible position she never wanted to be in.

"Am I getting that kiss you so badly want to give me?" Here he goes again. Non-stop teasing.

This time Y/N did not find it in her to fight, not him nor the feelings she finally realized she had.

"You should be more careful with your words Yeonjun, one might think you actually want it, crave it even" she said calmly before chuckling lightly. She was now sitting down on the bench and her gaze was everywhere but the boy's figure.

"As I said when you were storming off, I do think I'd enjoy it" he slowly sat down beside her, surprised by her tone. This felt more like an actual conversation now. It didn't seem like she had any intention of fleeing this time around. Just them two, talking like normal people. It was new and he liked it. He liked it more than words could explain.

"Stop teasing me please, I honestly don't think I can take it anymore. I won't be bothering you again if you promise me you will leave me alone without uttering any other word that you don't mean" If someone were to pass by and listen very closely, the sound of Yeonjun's heart could be heard as it was cracking and falling apart like glass under extreme heat.

She didn't want to see him anymore, but what was worse is that she didn't think his words were honest. She thought he didn't mean it, ever.

He meant it from the first smile he flashed her, from the first hello he said. The first time he saw her he was struck by lightning and did not feel like himself anymore. All he could do was think about her, all he wanted to do was to speak with her. He did not care if it meant he had to endure rolling eyes and frustrated groans, at the very least he was interacting with you.

"So?" this time she asked the question. Her eyes showed how hurt she was and he could barely look at them.

As he turned to face her, Y/N noticed tears welling up in his eyes. She didn't understand.

"You really think I don't mean it? Y/N you consume my thoughts in the best and worst way ever. I think about you all the time. All I ever want to do is speak with you and I don't care if it means you'll hate me, I won't stop doing it because I am selfish like that. I don't want to feel miserable, and the only way I have to do that is if I speak to you. You can tell me you despise me a thousand times but I won't care as long as you're in front of me, addressing me, acknowledging my presence." As Yeonjun spoke Y/N could not believe his words. 

If it was just minutes ago she would've joked about how "you're so obsessed with me, jeez" but at that moment the expression on Yeonjun's face was making her want to cry. It seemed like he meant it.

He did mean it.

"You like me?" she asked, furrowing her brows in confusion.

"I think like is a bit of an understatement at this point..." he chuckled looking into the distance, the palms of his hands rubbing against each other awkwardly.

Y/N moved closer to him. He did not register how close she got until she turned his head towards her with her hand.

They stared at each other, they are not sure for how long. It could have been mere seconds or hours on end. Then she moved closer and finally kissed him. 

She tilted her head as he deepened the kiss. 

Everything felt good. They were finally happy.

[tmntxthings]

A Witch’s Kitchen Pt. 2

author’s note: for those who wanted the confession c:

warnings: fluff, slight cursing, unedited

> part one <

—————————————————————————

previously… “No buts!” Leo said grabbing Casey’s arm just in case he tried to make a dash for it. Mikey and Raph said their polite goodbyes, while Donnie entered the portal silently. You sent him the middle finger subtly since your arms were crossed. Casey was looking at you with big puppy dog eyes, you couldn’t help but console him even with Leo there. “Don’t worry, I’ll text you,” you said smiling slightly and shaking your head. He brightened at that, “if you ignore me for an hour I’m FaceTiming you!”

You had kept your word, replying to Casey by text and answering if he called. You had gotten a little busy when you turned your attention back to potion brewing, but for the most part you had your ringer turned on. Two more days passed before a knock was heard at your front door.

“Coming!” You hollered, trying to quickly towel dry your hair, having just gotten out of the shower. More knocking was heard and you grumbled to yourself, throwing on some clothes and speed walking to the door. Opening it to see that Casey was lifting his hand to knock on the door again. “Yes??” You mused, giving Casey an expectant stare, wondering what was so important for him to try and bang the front door down.

Casey’s voice caught in his throat. Your wet hair dripping onto the cloth of the hoodie you wore. He came over because he couldn’t take staying away any longer. Ever since Leo had dragged him through that portal back into the lair he has mainly been on his phone. Texting you and waiting for replies, finding the courage to call when he felt like he couldn’t bear to go another second without hearing your voice. The two days without you had been absolutely torture, and by the second day he was quite sure his heart was going to jump out of his chest and run all the way to your place with or without his body. So… yeah here he was at your door unable to fight the love potions allure that made his wants that much stronger.

But could he really just say, yeah I couldn’t stay away, so here am I, please hang out with me?! No way, absolutely not, that sounded way too desperate even though that was exactly how he felt. “I-“ he stuttered only thinking of how much he missed you, and seeing you before him now, all flushed from a shower and smelling absolutely divine. He could hardly think straight! “Can you take me to Witch Town? I’m in need of a cure for this love potion I stupidly drank,” he ended up saying, totally chickening out on just a natural ‘I missed you.’ “Now? It’s pretty late don’t you think Case?” You had just thrown on the hoodie because it was close by, but in actuality you would’ve put on your comfy pajamas. “Plus if anyone could make a cure, that would be me, since you know that was my potion,” you explained to him, opening your door wider for him to enter.

You had a feeling he wouldn’t be able to stay away for the whole week. You were curious as to how he had snuck away, because surely Leo hadn’t let Casey come here. Unless Casey had been a total pain in the ass, which is likely since he was under love potion influence. “Well can you make one for me?” He said as he entered, closing his eyes briefly as he got a stronger scent of your shampoo and conditioner. Damn he had it bad and he just knew (from what you had told him) that he was going to fold way sooner rather than later. He didn’t want to! No not yet! He had no gauge other than two days ago at how he affected you, and he still wasn’t confident. He wanted to be sure, one hundred percent sure, that you felt the same way before he went admitting his feelings.

So he was begging for a cure, and also using it as an excuse to see you, because he hadn’t had any other ideas! “It’ll take a lot of expensive ingredients, one’s that I’d rather not buy if not absolutely necessary.. are you experiencing pain? Is something wrong?” You closed the door behind Casey, following him to where he crashed on the couch, you sat next to him giving him a once over, he didn’t look to be in pain. Though maybe uncomfortable? “No not really.. just heart aches,” he mumbled the ending. And you sighed, not really hearing the last bit, thankfully for Casey, “I’m sorry Case, there’s nothing I could do, even if I had the money it takes longer to brew cures, you’d already be over the love potion by the time I would finish!” You felt bad, even though Casey had put himself through this to begin with, you didn’t want him to be uncomfortable, and when your friends came to you for help, you helped! In any way you could, you were a real fixer in that regard.

“I understand,” and he leaned into your touch as your hand went out to his arm, trying to comfort him. If he had a tail, it would’ve wagged. “Can I hang out with you for a bit?” He asked hopefully and you smiled for him, “duh, wanna watch something? A movie? Or a show?” Casey had a lottt of movies and shows to catch up on. One of the things he liked to do most since he came back to the future, though three years had passed he still had a long list that everyone had made for him. A watch list! “Yeah!” He said excitedly, a total movie buff nowadays. Casey hadn’t even needed to get out the list (he kept a digital version in his notes app). “I’m on Harry Potter now!” Casey said excitedly as you got the remote to the tv. “You’re joking.” You said giving him a serious look. “Huh? No, why is there something wrong with that movie?” He asked worriedly not remembering who had put it on the list.

“No it’s just ironic,” you said shaking your head, wondering what were the odds that he’d want to watch a movie about wizards and witches with you: a witch. Casey soon found out why you said ironic and he immediately began to ask questions. Trying to compare the similarities and differences and you begrudgingly replied. “No we’re not divided into houses, it’s like normal school though the classes are quite similar..” “No we don’t have a The One Who Shall Not Be Named, though there is a beast we have to appease, make a peace offering to so he doesn’t destroy Witch Town, it’s a big spectacle,” you refrained from saying how Donatello had almost been the ruin of your Town some years ago.

Casey listened to you, his full attention would go to you anytime you spoke. Glancing over when you’d grumble at a scene you thought was particularly cringey to a real witch. He would get real happy when you would suddenly be really interested in the movie, not saying anything unless he asked a question. By the third movie you had popped some popcorn, fully invested even though you had already watched the series. When the fifth movie rolled around the two of had gotten comfortable on the couch, you were laying stretched out, your legs going over Casey’s lap resting there. His hands would sometimes rub over your lower thighs and knees. He himself not really noticing the action too much as his attention was on the movie.

But you would do a little double take at the warm feeling of his bare hands touching you. It was getting reallyyyyy late, and you were starting to yawn as the movie finally ended. “Wanna call it a night?” Casey asked with a small smile, noticing you were yawning yet again. “Mmmm nah we can finish, we’ve just got three more right?” Casey nodded, “Yup eight in total,” he watched as you clicked the sixth, then moved to get up, “I’ll be right back, I’m going change and grab a blanket,” you said.

Casey was left to his own thoughts as the sixth movie started playing. Was he sleeping over again? He guessed so since you hadn’t told him to go home! He of course did not want to leave and the prospect of spending more time with you made his heart burst with happiness. When you returned blanket in your hands and wearing a pajama set, Casey was smiling wide. “What’re you cheesing for?” You said going to sit next to him and sharing the blanket. “Just, I really enjoy your company,” he said smiling sheepishly. You smiled too, finding what he said cute, “right back at you Casey,”

As the two of you turned back to the screen, Casey couldn’t help his hand moving on its own accord. Reaching out to tentatively brush against yours where it rested on top of the blanket, in your lap. You swallowed, glancing down to see he left his hand right next to yours, and you knew he was letting you decide. Expressing his interest to hold your hand but not wanting to initiate. Partly because he was a gentleman and partly because he didn’t want to make you uncomfortable or get rejected. Your hand turned, slowly interlacing your fingers with his.

Immediately Casey was holding his breath, the feeling of your hand in his, it was just perfect. But he was feeling greedy now, now he wanted more than just hand holding. He held himself back for maybe ten minutes before it became too much to bear, “Y/n,” he said softly and you hummed in question, still looking at the tv. You had a faint blush dusting your cheeks now that he had looked over. It only gave him the confidence to continue, he squeezed your hand and when you turned, he leaned in. Stopping just short from your lips and you hadn’t flinched away, in fact your eyes were glued to his lips. A small smirk formed and you looked up into his eyes, “do you know how badly I want to kiss you right now?” he spoke softly, his thumb rubbing across your hand that he was still holding. “Casey..” you bit down on your lip, feeling conflicted, he was basically telling you he liked you, liked you a lot more than you originally thought. “Are you sure?” you asked thinking about how much Leo didn’t trust you, didn’t like you.

“More than sure,” he said, his eyes had followed the way your teeth pulled and chewed down on your lower lip. He wanted to do that. Right after he said that you surged forward, squeezing his hand tightly and taking him by surprise as your lips met his in hot passion. He matched you instantly, kissing you back with fervor. The movie completely forgotten about as the two of you didn’t stop, kissing for what felt like forever. You two would break for air and go right back to kissing as if neither of you could stand the thought of stopping just yet. “I like you Y/n” he breathed, admitting his feelings though you probably knew that now. He had to tell you, just to be sure. “So much, I’ve liked you for a while now..” the words were thick and you answered him, kissing him again, swallowing his words. “I like you too Casey Jones,” you said pulling back and catching your breath. Seeing how flushed you had gotten, from you kissing him, god Casey felt like he was on cloud nine. “How long?” He couldn’t stop his curiosity as his free hand went to your hair, dry now, pushing strands away from your face.

“Long enough to think you didn’t feel the same way,” you said shyly, and this had his mind reeling. The two of you had potentially liked each other this entire time and had no idea of the others feelings. He was grateful for the push that the love potion had given him, that he was still currently under. “I don’t think I’ll be able to leave you alone for the rest of the week,” his hand that had been playing with your hair, grazed over your skin, making it way from your cheek to your lips. You stayed silent, letting him touch you with an amused smile. It was like he was in a trance, you pursed your lips kissing his thumb that was currently touching your lower lip. He pulled his hand away, Casey would much rather his lips there now.

The week passed by quickly. But even with the love potion off, not much changed. With feelings out in the open now, the two of you were a lot more touchy. Much to Casey’s enjoyment. He’d get back from a patrol with the turtles, and he would scoop you up into his arms the second you opened the door. Kissing all over your face and telling you how much he missed you. “You saw me yesterday silly!” You laughed. “Mmm” he kissed your nose, “too” he kissed your cheek, “long” he finally captured your lips. He slowly placed your feet back to the ground. Drawing back with a charming smile as he watched you blink out of a dazed reverie caused by all his sweet kisses. You opened your door wider, your eyes dancing playfully, “now be careful in the kitchen, there’s a couple pink drinks in there,” Casey entered, laughing. “Duly noted.” Sure enough he looked towards your kitchen and saw five replicas of the drink he had. “So you have any buyers yet?” and this caused you to smile, mischievously. He looked at you with one brow arched in curiosity. “Someone you know wants them all,”

“Someone I know?!” Casey exclaimed and his immediate thought was the turtles. But which one would want five love potions?! He asked you but was met with a shrug and he chased you around the kitchen. You laughing and him saying how you just had to tell him! You made a mad dash for the living room and squealed as he caught you, lifting you up into his arms. “Sorry Case, confidential information,” you giggled but you were serious. “Aghhhh,” Casey groaned squeezing you for a second before letting you go, “finee,” he whined accepting you wouldn’t tell him. “Don’t whine! I’m sure you’ll figure it out,” you winked. Yeah, he’d figure it out later, but right now, he was a man on a mission. “C’mere,” he said with a smirk and it only grew as you raced into the living room, continuing the game of cat and mouse. He was definitely going to catch you!

[belle--ofthebrawl]

I love how you write Swiss & Dew & the waythey like to play pretty rough and mean but i am sooo convinced they have another side to them. Like, ok. Hear me out?

Dew feels worn out one hotel night & asks Swiss to treat him gently? Swiss can /totally/ manage that. Except, whenever that happens the pair of idiots (affectionate) end up "making love" in the most classical & then being shy about it the next day. Like, Swiss will destroy Dew emotionally & physically then in the morning it's as if nothing happend but one (1) night of eyecontact, missionarry, & pillow talk they turn into a pair of blushing maidens when their hands meet as they reach for the orange juice at the same time during breakfast.

Am i waaaay off base here? Does Swiss only specialise in the rough stuff?? Idk. i love them either way your honour.

Thank you so much! I'm hardly the first or only person to be writing them like this but I will admit it's so fun to write Swiss being an absolute bastard (positive) and Dew being angry about how much he enjoys it when that happens.

I am also one hundred percent a soft Swiss truther. I fully believe he wields different personas depending on the mood he's in. Why deny anything that gets him off, gets his packmates off? I adore your idea, so I'll share one of my own in return.

Order in the court!

Something gets mixed up, maybe a room is out of order for maintenance but the hotel is packed and no one's exactly willing to sleep on the floor. Dew and Swiss are put into the only room left: the hotel's honeymoon suite and Swiss gets a look in his eye that makes the hair on the back of Dew's neck stand up.

"Gimme the suitcases, honey." He drawls. "I don't want you tiring yourself out before I get my hands on you." He winks at the clerk. "Signed the papers right before we left but, y'know. No privacy on a bus. This works out great."

"Congratulations!" She beams. "Please let me know if you need anything!"

"Got everything I need right here," Swiss murmurs, staring dreamily at Dew, who is staring resolutely at the wall, face aflame.

The room isn't as bad as Dew thinks it is. Sure, the bed and the hot tub are heart shaped and there's a mirror on the ceiling but it comes with wine and chocolates that Swiss insists on getting into. A bath is run, Swiss dotes on Dew. But Dew can't shake the weird, squirmy feeling in his gut the whole ordeal gives him. Does he like being treated so soft, so gentle? He doesn't really know how to react to it, especially from Swiss.

They towel off and hit the sheets. Dew probably makes the first move just to distract himself from what's going on in his head and Swiss lets him. Keeps his hands on Dew's hips as they kiss and rock their hips together until Dew's a shivery, whining mess. At which point Swiss rolls them over, gets his hand around Dew's dick and whispers into his ear how he's gonna make him knot, get the little bulge of it all reddened and raw before Swiss will fuck him, watch his cock spurt out cum with every slow, gentle thrust deep into his little body. He's going to make Dew feel so good.

"Will you let me do it?" He murmurs. "Pretend it's your first time? Will you let me pop that sweet little cherry of yours?"

He squeezes around the base of Dew's cock so Dew can fully grasp what he means by that.

And Dew?

Dew makes the mistake of saying yes.

(It's the best and most confusing orgasm of his entire existence.)

(Everyone jeers at them when they're all on the bus the next morning. Someone twists aluminum foil into wedding rings but then everybody wants one and the next superstore they pass they demand a stupid sheet cake to celebrate "their" wedding.)

(There is absolutely a frosting fight.)

[evenmorefatallyobsessed]

Considering we've got Azula and Ty Lee "sorted", so to say, have you any ideas for: Mai, Suki, Toph or maybe even Katara?

Only ask, cause I can't find a definite no for them, unless I've missed that post.

Okay, so Mai is with Zuko, I don't care what anyone says, I don't care about the comics, Zuko is with Mai and Mai is with Zuko. As far as I'm concerned when she got fed up with him talking to his dad she tied the new the new firelord up and showed him why she mattered more then his secrets.

I refuse to believe that the same person who betrayed Azula for Zuko and was ready to die left him for keeping a secret that wasn't a affair or murder.

Hell, I'm not a huge fan of NTR but if in the next Avatar series it's revealed Mai or Zuko married someone else then as far as I'm concerned they still ended up together behind closed doors and she merely became Zuko's most important secret and whoever dared to marry him or her suffered a life of cucking for trying to get between the Firelord and his emo true love.

As for Suki, there is no way in hell she didn't end up with Sokka, I am 100% sure she beat the asses of anyone and everyone who tried to flirt with lord boomerang.

Also a hundred percent when he died I am convinced his spirit ended up with Yue and maybe even took in Suki too.

Finally Katara, we saw her and Aang's kids, while I love Zuko, Sokka and Iroh more then the avatar himself I still Love Aang, there are simply four good boys in Avatar, I would say there are no bad/ crap boys... But Jet.

So yeah I see aang with Katara, and lowkey I can't remember if we ever see a image of older milf Katara but lowkey Older Aang is one handsome fucker (Sokka too)

Lowkey after RWBY's boys, I might try and make Zuko, Sokka and Aang models and then their respective ships.

Toph... Hmm? Short Awnser, I don't really know? Maybe? I genuinely never thought about it before

[aylacavebear]

Retribution Chapter 6

Summary: You had DID for most of your life, over forty years, since you were two. It wasn't until after you were forty-three that you were finally able to heal it and become a singular. You're a hunter and have been with Dean for a very long time. Once you become singular, you have to face the horrors that your mental illness subjected on those you cared about, loved. Can you get past seeing yourself as worse than any monster you've ever hunted down?

Pairing is Dean Winchester x Reader/You

Warnings: Talk of DID - Dissociation Identity Disorder (AKA MPD), Mental Health Issues, Alcoholism, Thoughts of deserving to have it all done to "you".

Please, if you suffer from any mental illness, seek help. There are people out there who can help you get through it, no matter how alone you feel now or how hard it may seem.

A/N: This is going to be very dark, darker than anything I've written thus far. It will include many triggers - abuse both sexual and physical - in memories and what happens to the reader. I'm hoping it will have a happy ending but right now, I am not sure where this will go. This is your main warning before you begin reading. A/N: Dreams and Memories are indented in italics. Thoughts are in italics only.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 6 - While You Sleep

Dean leaned down and kissed your forehead before tucking you in, turning off your light, and joining his brother and Cas back in the library. The last month had been hard on all of them. The two weeks you’d been gone had been the hardest. 

Dean had lost so many people throughout his life that he thought that, in a way, he thought he was bad for everyone around him. When you left for those two weeks, though, he realized he couldn’t lose you, too. He also vowed that when he found you, he was going to do everything he could to help you heal your illness.

“Whiskey?” Sam offered, breaking the tense silence as he slid a full bottle across the table for him, which he caught. “She’s at least gonna get some sleep now. How you holding up?”

“I’ll live,” he sighed before taking a decent swig from the bottle, needing to dull the worry still consuming his mind.

“Cas, are you one hundred percent sure that the other personalities are gone?” Sam asked, still questioning it. He’d read up on enough to know that healing wasn’t always possible.

Cas met Sam’s gaze with a steady resolve, “When I looked in on her nightmare, I also looked at her memories from the night she left. They are gone. She was in a dark place. She needs people to give her the chance to trust herself again.”

Sam knew you’d never been like this before, seeming as though you were broken. Even with everything you’d done to his brother and the verbal abuse you had put them both through, seeing you like this was worrisome. Another personality always came out and took over when one got too depressed or emotional. He sipped his beer, considering Cas’s words. 

“She’d different, Sam,” Dean began quietly, fighting tears that had been threatening to fall since he’d brought you dinner. “She’s… softer.” His voice was laced with uncertainty.

He didn’t know how else to explain it. It was just something he felt, and he always had a hard time putting his emotions into words. Unless, of course, it was anger. That was always easy. He sipped the whiskey, trying to think of other ways he could help you.

“How is she gonna be, when she wakes up?” Sam asked Cas, mirroring Dean’s worry.

“Hopefully, not as depressed. There wasn’t a lot I could do for what she has already remembered. I let her have some of the memories, just not as detailed, only a few. She will remember what she’s done over the last month and have a vague idea why. It will give her the time she needs to work through it, very slowly,” Cas explained, glancing toward the hallway where the rooms were, just as concerned for your wellbeing as the brothers.

“I don’t recommend her sleeping in your room yet, Dean. It could trigger memories to come forward too quickly, even after what I did,” Cas added.

All three of them were worried about you. The last month had been completely out of character for when you’d had DID. There were times your personalities would take off, but it typically only lasted a couple of days, and you always answered your phone. They were beginning to wonder if you’d ever hunt again, as that, too, could trigger memories you probably didn’t want to remember.

Dean and Sam remembered, though. Sam couldn’t count how many times he’d traced your phone, finding you in a different motel with some random guy. Dean had told himself it wasn’t the personality that loved him, that she would never do something like that. The one thing that circled his mind was how much of her was left in you. 

“I’d say to stop thinking about it, but I don’t think either of us are going to be able to do that till we know,” Sam sighed, seeing his brother lost in his thoughts again.

“We’ll see how she’s doing tomorrow. For now, I’m just gonna go slow with her,” Dean told him, but there was a sadness in his tone even Cas was able to pick up on.

Dean’s mind wandered back to some of his favorite memories of you.

It was early in your relationship, and you’d had to sleep in the Impala that night, but Dean hadn’t minded. You were wrapped up in his arms, and he could hold you close against him in the back seat. Sam was still sleeping in the front. Dean was awake, though, just watching you sleep. The way your hair fell partially over your shoulder but not in front of your face. How your breathing was slow, like you were in a peaceful, dreamless slumber. Your hand was on his chest over his heart. When your fingers twitched, it made him smile, feeling the movement through his shirt. He watched you inhale deeply, then yawn before your eyes began opening. He rubbed your shoulder gently with the arm he had under you, “Morning, Sweetheart.” “Mmmm,” you hummed as a smile spread across your lips, too sleepy to say anything. “You sleep okay, cramped on this backseat with me?” he asked quietly, not wanting to wake his brother. “I love getting to sleep in the Impala with you. We have to stay close, or I end up on the floor,” you replied, giggling a little as you looked up at him. Dean caressed your cheek, looking deeply into your eyes. This was the moment he realized he loved you, at least this personality of yours. She was always so sweet and caring, and she knew how to laugh at things. You’d been hunting with him and his brother for half a year now, and it was these moments that had meant the most to him. You were a damn good hunter, well, that personality was, but this one had his heart.

“Dean, did you hear anything I just said?” Cas asked him.

“Yeah, sure,” Dean answered. Then he sipped his whiskey, realizing he had gotten completely lost in his thoughts.

Sam’s brows furrowed in confusion, “And your thoughts on the matter are…?” he asked, trailing off at the end.

Dean rolled his eyes, “Alright. I didn’t hear you.”

Cas sighed, slightly frustrated, “Tomorrow after she wakes up. I, was suggesting that perhaps she shower and you help her set up a room that is all hers. Something that has nothing to do with her DID. It might help her.”

“Huh, that is a good idea,” Dean mused, now letting the thought play through his mind, hoping she’d be okay with it. It might even give him a chance to ask you a few things without pushing other things. He did still want answers. He couldn’t hide that tiny flicker of hope that ignited within him, “Maybe it’ll give her a way to start over.”

In a way, that’s what they all felt like you were doing, starting over. The only difference, you were attempting to pick up the pieces of your life that your personalities had left shattered at your feet. You wouldn’t be alone, though. The three of them were your family, and even though the abuse you’d put them through, they all loved you in their own way. 

Dean’s gaze fell on the bottle of whiskey, and a small smile played along his lips for a moment.

“Come on, share,” you begged, reaching over Dean again, trying to grab the bottle of whiskey.

“Kiss me first,” he told you playfully.

The two of you were lying on your shared bed in his room, which was now both of your room. He was on his back, and you on your side. You were watching him while attempting to reach over his chest to his other hand, where he held the whiskey bottle just out of your reach. Dean smirked, loving how playful you were being. “Fine,” you replied, quite playfully, before placing an intimate kiss on his lips.  His other hand moved to the middle of your back, holding you against him as your hand rested on his chest. This was the personality he loved and that loved him. When you went to pull away, he held you closer, smirking against your lips, making you giggle. Music to him.  Dean rolled the two of you over, careful not to spill the open bottle of whiskey before setting it on the night table on the other side of you. He never broke the kiss as his hand came down and caressed your cheek. “I love you,” he said softly, now looking into your eyes. He could see it, the way you felt for him. You were the only one who looked at him like that.  “I love you too,” you whispered, smiling back up at him.

“Dean, are you even paying attention?” Sam asked, wondering where his brother's mind was.

He sighed heavily, “Sorry. What were you saying?” he asked, now looking up at Sam.

“Cas and I were talking about DID. It’s not something that just goes away overnight. Do you have any idea how long or if she had been doing any sort of therapy?” Sam asked, recapping what he and Cas had talked about.

Dean had to think about that before he could answer. He hadn’t seen you doing anything that could be therapy, “Well, I found her alone a lot, with a laptop.”

Cas furrowed his brow in curiosity, “What do you mean, and for how long?”

“Uh, well, she would disappear a lot around the bunker. When I would find her, she always had her laptop open to something but would close it and not let me see. I think for at least the last five years, she was doing that often,” Dean explained, wondering how it would even help.

Sam and Cas looked at Dean, somewhat puzzled, as he hadn’t said anything about it prior to tonight. “And you’re just now telling us about it?” Sam asked, trying not to sound annoyed.

“I didn’t think anything of it before. Some of her personalities did weird things,” Dean attempted to defend himself.

“If she’s been at it for five years, that would make sense as to why it recently happened,” Cas thought out loud, his gaze on nothing in particular.

As the brothers waited for Cas to say something else, Dean’s mind again drifted to his memories.

“But we watched a western last night,” you groaned, seeing the moving waiting to get played on the screen. “Come on, Sweetheart. We can watch something else after. I promise,” he attempted to convince you in that sweet kid way he always did. You rolled your eyes but gave him a playful smile before plopping on the couch next to him and cuddling up close, “You know I can’t tell you no when you get like that. It’s cheating.” You gave him quite the pout, which made him laugh. “Now, who’s cheating?” he teased you, slowly bringing his hand down your arm and to your side. You managed to keep the pout—that is, until he squeezed his hand on your hip, causing you to squeal with laughter. Dean was smiling ear to ear as he brought his other hand to hold you in place the more you squirmed.  “That’s not fair!!” you squealed between fits of laughter as he tickled along your ribs. Dean loved hearing you laugh and seeing you happy and smiling, as they were few and far between those days. He didn’t keep it up long, tickling you before he stopped to let you breathe. You were the one he loved, and your eyes always danced when you laughed. He caressed your cheek as your giggles subsided, but your smile never faltered as he looked into your eyes with utter adoration, which you returned. That look spoke the words neither of you needed to say now.

“I swear, Dean. It’s like you’re not even here,” Sam snapped, pulling him from his thoughts.

Dean sighed, “I can’t help it. What’d I miss?”

“We were talking about what she would have been doing at Crowley’s,” Cas told him, puzzled as to what kept pulling Dean from the conversation.

“She wanted to get Crowley to somehow put her through the same abuse she put us through, for the same amount of time or longer,” Dean told them and shuddered at the thought. “Although, she wanted it done to her tenfold.”

“That’s why you asked me to help her, isn’t it?” Cas asked, finally putting all the pieces together.

“Yeah. It broke my heart to see her in so much pain,” he mumbled, then took another swig of his whiskey. 

Sam sighed, “You’re not going to be much help to her if you go down the same path of self-destruction.”

“I can put my own stuff aside and be there for her when she needs me. I’m only drinking like this because I know she’s gonna sleep all night, and I don’t have to worry about her waking up in tears or trying to take off running again,” Dean told his brother firmly. He’d backed off the alcohol since Cas had brought her back, and he needed this tonight. He needed to relax as he’d been on edge for the last two weeks.

“For the first time in a long time, none of us have to worry about her,” Sam agreed, finishing his beer.

They’d all worried about you in different yet similar ways. Most of your personalities had been self-destructive, which always caused problems for those who cared about you. Like the random men in motel rooms, even when Dean was sound asleep in your shared one. The verbal conflicts they started on purpose, then hid the memory of from your other personalities. 

Half the time, you didn’t even know there was a problem, and they all hated having to tell you about it. If they did tell you, it hurt you emotionally, and that always caused another switch. It was a never-ending pattern that none of them had seen a way to stop without forcing you into a mental hospital. Dean alone wouldn’t allow it. He had stayed firm in the belief that healing had to be your choice.

What none of them could fathom now was why you had chosen to do it all alone for the last five years. That was their biggest question, followed by what kind of person you not only were now but would be once you got through all of this.

“You think she’ll ever hunt again?” Dean asked as if he was lost in a daze again, staring at his whiskey bottle.

Cas turned his attention to Dean, contemplating an answer, “It’s hard to say. Only time will tell now. Let’s get her through this before we worry about that.”

“I can send any cases that come up to other hunters while we stay here to help her,” Sam added.

“Did you update Charlie and Eileen?” Dean asked, finishing off the bottle of whiskey.

“Called ‘em the night Cas brought her back. They wanted to come by, but I told ‘em now wasn’t the time and that I’d keep them posted,” Sam explained.

“Good. We’ll see how she is tomorrow before those two stop by,” Dean chuckled.

Charlie, Eileen, and you had hit it off the moment you’d met and were practically sisters at this point. The downside, a few of your personalities had a thing for Charlie. Charlie had reassured Dean numerous times that nothing had ever happened between the two of you, but he always wondered. That was mostly due to how thick the flirting had gotten, even if it was never physical.

Would you still be into chicks? Dean thought to himself.

“You think those two will still flirt with each other?” Sam chuckled, remembering how badly Dean had blushed numerous times hearing the things that came out of both your mouths.

All he could do was shrug. There were so many things he didn’t know. One of the ones that was burdening him the most was whether or not his Y/N was still a part of you. He wasn’t sure if you’d still feel the same toward him, and that would be worse than if you’d died.

“Dean, you might want to be there, when she wakes up tomorrow. If you’re up for the task, she’ll need a rock to lean on, even if she won’t know how to ask,” Cas told him sympathetically.

Dean sighed, tossed the empty bottle in the trash, then quietly went into your room. For the first time in a long time, you looked peaceful in your sleep. A soft smile crossed his lips as he just watched you sleep for a moment. 

He slipped off his shoes before carefully sliding into bed behind you and snuggling up close to you. Dean let his hand gently move down your arm before he laced his fingers with yours, rubbing the side of your thumb with his.

“I’ll always love you,” he whispered before closing his eyes, hoping he would sleep peacefully next to you for the night.

Sam and Cas stayed up a little while longer, sitting in the kitchen mostly in silence. Sam wanted to believe that the personalities were gone, but something was nagging at the back of his mind. He’d done enough research on DID to know that it ‘didn’t just go away’, even after half a lifetime of in-depth therapy.

Part of Sam hated you for how your personalities had treated not only him, but also his brother and their friends. He kept this from both his brother and Cas, not wanting to make things harder for Dean than they already were.

----------------------------------------- Chapter 7 - Picking Up the Pieces Pt. 1

Retribution Master List

Tag List: @jc-winchester @nancymcl @xx-spooky-little-vampire-xx

[plantinghobbies]

Growing Pains

Two: Sure I’d Never Be Found

Author’s Note: Back from some traveling and finally had dedicated time to write. I’ve been overwhelmed by the support for the first chapter. Thank you so much, revisiting your notes kept me motivated when I struggled to focus or hit a block. The incredible @solipsisticno1 also helped keep my ass in gear. This’ll be a fast and slow burn (I’m a Gemini so cannot escape my love for duality). Welcome all constructive critique, favorite parts, questions, etc - so grateful for any and all feedback. Ok, here’s more of Tess and Matty.

It’s the longest he’s spent near mountains since he left home. Growing up, the idea of vastness had scared him; he doesn’t like to be reminded of how small and microscopic his existence is in the very grand scheme of things. Sometimes, he’ll lie awake at night fixated on just how tenuous life is, how quickly something outside of his control could end it. He wonders what he’d be remembered for – his art or his infamy? On particularly bad days, he wonders if he’d be remembered for long at all.

But the panoramic views of the peaks from the house the label rented him have the opposite effect. After years of touring in cramped bunks and living in packed cities, he feels the space around him palpably, like he’s been curled into a ball for too long and is finally able to stretch out.

When he’d announced his plans to spend the band’s hiatus working on some solo material with Jack in the States, he’d been most nervous about telling his band mates. Even though they’d always been supportive of each other branching out in various ways, this felt different somehow. It was one thing for George to work on remixing the odd single or producing with other artists, it was quite another to put out a whole solo record as Matty was planning, with a potential tour as well. But, as they had for the last twenty years, the guys had his back one hundred percent.

What he hadn’t anticipated was the call from his mum that came in the night before he left. She’d seemed antsy when he’d seen her for a bon voyage dinner two nights ago, but he chalked it up to her not wanting to say goodbye.

“Matthew, I’m still not sure if I should even be telling you this, had to really talk myself up to it. But I know I’d be kicking myself later if something happened.” There’s a tremor in her voice that he hasn’t heard in years.

Oh God, he thinks, she’s sick. Worse, she’s dying. His mind already flashing to her funeral, him attempting to perform a song for her before he breaks down in tears, failing her in this final act.

“You know I am so proud of you, and I wouldn’t ever dream of questioning your sobriety. But you’ve never been on your own like this without your support system – and lord knows neither have I – but it’s not easy. So I just need to say be careful, be vigilant, ask for help when you need it. I’m a plane ride away.”

The indignation that reared up at him was visceral. 34 years old, several years in recovery, and she still didn’t trust him. Looking back, he knows he could have handled it better. He’s proud of himself for not blowing up at her, something a younger version of him would have absolutely done. But he knows he was curt, wanting to punish her, inflict hurt like what had welled up in him at the thought that his own mum doubted him.

After the first few days of wandering his house, un-showered and aimless, he’d begun to see what his mother meant. The process of writing and recording is inherently unstructured, at least for him, filled with days where he does nothing and nights of manic activity. It’s him, sitting around with his own thoughts, picking at the scabs and scar tissue of his past. He didn’t realize how much he relied on the rhythm of others - the band, the tour - to provide structure for him. For the first time in his life, he is without those things, and the space that it creates feels like a blessing and a curse.

In the couple of weeks since, he’s settled in a bit more, has found a gym and can now navigate to Jack’s studio and back without relying on his phone. The word routine has always rubbed him the wrong way, evoking images and associations that make him uneasy. Boring. Pedestrian. Old. When he left rehab, they’d armed him with a written routine to help ease his transition back to his “everyday life.” It was cookie cutter shit that he hadn’t even done in rehab, let alone out of it – daily meditation, making his bed, a gratitude journal. One glance at the word and the list of to-dos had him pulling up his dealer’s number before the plane had even landed.

When he finally got clean for good, a new therapist suggested he develop a structure in lieu of a routine. At first, Matty didn’t understand the difference, and he’d worried that he’d once again sunk a ton of time into bettering himself only for the system to fail him.

“What do you like to do for fun?” His therapist, David, asked. The question caught him off guard, he was expecting the beginnings of a diatribe on the benefits of eating healthy.

“You mean, besides heroin?” Matty often tried to get a rise out of David but had yet to succeed, his shit-eating grin met with nothing more than a stoic quiet. Sometimes, when he was bored or couldn’t focus during their session, he’d imagine what David’s home life was like. What does this guy do for fun? Is he a Saturday golfer and Sunday churchgoer like he looks? Or does David leave the prim façade at work, shedding his tweed jacket on his way to a BDSM club or an after-hours rave?

Finally, David indulges him. “Yes, besides heroin.”

That was easy. “Music.”

“Ok, but music is also your job, which can be a source of stress. What do you like to do besides making music?”

He’s embarrassed to admit he’s a bit stumped. Over the years, he’s amassed a laundry list of abandoned hobbies – some lasting for a few days, others a few months. But only one has ever lasted long-term. Well, social media but that’s more of a habit he’s adopted to avoid other, worse vices.

“Umm, honestly, I don’t know. I haven’t really ever been able to keep up with one long-term besides writing songs.”

“Ok” David smiled “let’s start there.”

In the end, he was glad that he stuck with it. Nowadays, Matty had a simple list of things that he liked to do that help him feel his best – he isn’t regimented about doing them, which he thinks is how he’s been able to stick with it for so long. They didn’t cure his addictive cravings but they kept them at bay. He still resented the amount of effort that was required for him to have a “normal” day - but it was better than the alternative.

Given how late he got in from the studio the night before, he should still be in bed. He and Jack had been holed up for almost two days straight, capitalizing on a burst of creative energy that had them laying down the rough cuts of three songs and the outlines of a fourth. When Jack had finally gone home to Margaret, he’d kicked Matty out of the studio as well, demanding that he shower, eat and sleep – in that order. He’d caught a few hours of shut eye but the chord progression he’s stuck on has him unable to quiet his mind enough to rest. What’s new? Unable to even muster the focus needed to make tea, he settles for coffee instead. The expensive coffee machine gurgles next to him as he stares out the window, realizing that he can’t remember the last time he’d been outside. Maybe “touching grass” (he refuses to admit that he might be too old for certain phrases) would help unstick it?

It’s the first time the front porch has seen any action since his arrival and he takes a minute to get situated, shifting his chair this way and that. Finally satisfied, he looks up just in time to catch the vaguely familiar side profile of a woman walking by with her dog. Before the image registers in his brain, she’s gone. He finishes his coffee then heads out to jui jitsui before meeting Jack.

That afternoon is one of the most productive days in the studio so far, he feels like they’re getting somewhere. He’s desperate to sustain the momentum, to try to quell the intrusive, insecure thoughts that he can’t do this on his own. No amount of encouragement from Jack has helped, he needs to see it for himself.

He’s not above relying on superstition and decides to do everything the same the next day, including watching the sunrise on the porch, staring at the coffee as he swirls his mug. The jingling of a leash has him tilting his head up, eyes journeying up long legs, tracing an hourglass figure that had been hidden by the bar, meeting her piercing eyes – yep, that’s her. He leans forward in his seat, casting about for a witty comment to put her on her heels the way she had put him on his with that story the other night. But he doesn’t get a chance, her eyes seeming to look right through him as she passes by.

At first, he convinces himself that she just didn’t see him, unable to accept that he hadn’t left any impression on this woman. The next few days find him inching his chair closer and closer to the sidewalk each morning, but her and her dog just sail past without a second glance, seemingly immune to his presence. And listen, he’s not a dickhead - it’s not like she owes him any acknowledgement. He understands more than most how rare uninterrupted time to yourself can be in this day and age. But he hears her daily greeting to the older man who sits on his porch reading the paper a few doors down! So, it feels like she’s ignoring him specifically and intentionally – and the question of why is driving him mad. It scratches at sensitive scar tissue where his admittedly oversized ego meets a more fragile self-esteem, seizes on feelings of being unremarkable and weaponizes them. Has his overactive mind casting about for various reasons for her silence, most of them bad. She doesn’t recognize him, not even from the other night. Or worse, she does.

The rest of the week in the studio is a bit of a wash.

Saturday finds him bored and antsy, with little to do and even less motivation. Trying to occupy himself, he sets his sights more firmly on getting a rise out of her, any acknowledgement really. Just to get her to crack once, he tells himself, and then he’ll leave it be. He doesn’t dwell on why he gets so bothered by apathy, physically shakes away memories that surface uninvited in his mind - his mother’s glazed expressions, his exhaustive attempts to garner her attention. Getting a reaction from people was his coping mechanism long before it was his job.

Pulling the Adirondack chair - so cliche but also so bloody comfortable – right up to the fence, he positions it at an angle in clear view of the sidewalk. Sure enough, as she approaches, her eyes land on him from behind her sunglasses. He only knows this because her step falters slightly, head dipping into the barest of nods as she passes. The thrill that Matty gets from even this subtlest reaction is a welcome change from the monotony of the last few weeks. He can imagine what George would say if he saw this “Christ mate, you’ve got to get out more.” But George isn’t here, none of them are – and that’s the problem isn’t it?

The next day, it becomes clear that she is, in fact, fucking with him. She’s walking toward him, her mouth opens to speak – Matty slides forward in his chair at the sight, ready to declare victory – and then curls it into a smirk at his earnest reaction. It’s obvious enough that it had to be intentional. Oh, game on.

His tendency to hyper-fixate is a blessing and a curse, making him a better artist but an occasionally insufferable human. He’s determined to not let her get the best of him this time around, spending downtime in the studio brainstorming how to get her to break first. The answer comes to him as he’s standing outside, having a cigarette between writing sessions. The sign hanging in the window across the street is just too cringe, too cliche, too absolutely perfect to ignore and Matty strolls out of the store with it not two minutes later.

The next morning, he’s giddy with anticipation. As she turns the corner her head is down, almost as if she’s determined not to see or been seen. At the last second though, she glances up and clocks the sign leaning against the outside of the fence right, him seated next to it with a sly smirk on his face. She stops, stares, and then - right as he’s certain she’s going to maintain their silent standoff - she barks out a laugh. It is loud and raucous and feels like a well-won prize after two weeks of continuous effort.

“Oh my god, where did you get that?” She seems surprised to hear the sound of her own voice. If she’s disappointed that she’s “lost,” it doesn’t show. He begins to tell her, in his trademark roundabout way, a winding story about the fucking writing block that him and Jack ran into which led to him being outside, to seeing the store but then back around to the song that he was working on. She is nodding along but glances at her watch twice, the dog trying to pull her to keep moving, bored of him. She opens her mouth to interrupt him, a split-second pause where she huffs and seems to question herself, before rushing out with “Listen, I gotta get this guy to the park or he’ll have a meltdown, you can tell me the rest as we walk.”

She walks on, not giving him a chance to respond as he hustles to catch up with them. He meets her on the sidewalk the next morning, not giving her a chance to pass him by again.

[beachyserasims]

♡ Intimate Moments | Jasmine & Justin | GENEVA ISLAND

* Justin is sitting on the bed upset and Jasmine enters *

Jasmine: Hey! I’ve been looking all over for you! What are you doing hiding out in here anyways?

Justin: Oh, hey, ummmm… I don’t know, I just feel more like being alone these days I guess…

Jasmine: Hmm, that seems so unlike you.

Justin: Yeah, you are right. I honestly had no idea it would be so difficult to be in here.

Jasmine: I’m sorry, I know exactly how you feel… Do you want to talk about it?

Justin: Sure, but I think I’m mostly confused.

Jasmine: How so?

Justin: Well, what changed after Blakes left? I thought we were… Well I guess I didn’t know exactly, but I thought our connection was strong enough to start a solid foundation for a relationship. Was I wrong?

Jasmine: No, you weren’t wrong. I think, for me, the relationship I had with Blakes, while it was short, it impacted me a lot… We moved sooo fast, and then you came in and everything changed just as quickly.

Justin: Are you nervous that will happen with me? Cause I really don’t see that happening…

Jasmine: No, its not like that exactly. It’s more like I don’t want either of us to move too fast and possibly blow up… Cause Blakes got really hurt and I feel so guilty about that… I never want to go through that again or put someone else through it.

Justin: That makes sense Jasmine, but I want you to know that I am one hundred percent about you and I ending up together.

Jasmine: What about Judi?

Justin: I like her, I really do. But we aren’t as great together as you and I… I know cause I think about you all the time, and I know it’s bad, but, even when I’m with her, I can’t help but to think and wish I was with you. I’ve had enough time to know that you are the one I want. I have no problem telling Judi that either if that’s something you want.

Jasmine: Everything you say sounds so wonderful and perfect, I’m just nervous.

Justin: You don’t have to be, but I get it. I’m not expecting an answer right now, I’m just asking that you think about it.

Jasmine: I will.

*Jasmine and Justin hug*

The Start || Beginning of Episodes || Previous || Next

[iobsessoverfictionalmen]

The Sounds of Justice (3)

Warnings: canon typical violence, cursing, non-consensual drugging, descriptions of character death, car crashes, lying, manipulation, mentions and descriptions of jail, guns, yandere themes, mafia AU, mafia Rafael Barba (trust me, he needs the warning), mentions of rape (not to the reader), and unwanted advances (nothing happens to the reader).

Chapter 3

“Is Abby usually that…” Sonny struggled to find the right word.  “Excitable?”

“How do you mean?”  Bishop asked with protectiveness barely concealed in her voice.

“When I showed her the analysis machines that we use, she linked her fingers, stretched out her arms, stared at the machines, and then said, “You are my babies and I am your benevolent ruler!”

Tony chuckled, “That’s our Abby.”

“Speaking of tours, we give you the tour.  We’ll break into groups or pairs.”

You ended up paired with Fin and he escorted you around the precinct, pointing out the important places and most notably, the break room.

“What did you do before you worked here?”  He asked.

“I worked for the Behavioural Analysis Unit as a profiler.  You?”

“Narcotics.  Worked there for over ten years.”

You let out a low whistle, “That would’ve been rough.”

“No rougher than working sex crimes.”

You leaned against the island in the break room, “Have you ever had a case where you realise that your case is actually part of a bigger one?”

“I hate those.  It means more people have suffered.  Usually there’s politics at play as well which makes it more complicated than it needs to be.”

The two of you lapsed into silence.

“What do you think about this one?” Fin asked.

You rubbed your eyes and pinched the bridge of your nose with your fingers, “I can already tell that it’s a bad one.  Not only has your guy become our guy but Abby has located three other cases with a few similarities in the tri-state area.”

“She works fast.”  Fin remarked approvingly.  “We only recorded the third case a couple of days ago.  Seeing as you guys are the feds, I’m guessing you have access to that data base.”

“She does.”  You agreed “She’s a sleuth in the truest sense of the word.  And yes, we do.  If it helps, we don’t spend our time trawling through your data bases just because we can.”

“I’m not sure whether to be relieved or insulted by that.  Do you think this case is part of something bigger?”

“The murders appear random.  So far there’s nothing that connects them which means there’s nothing to tie them to our unsub.”

“Unsub?”

“Old habit.  It means ‘unknown subject.’ Since there’s no connection yet, I only have a vague idea of a profile.”

“How does that work?  The profiling?”

“Basically I gather all the information in my head, piece together bits of information that seem like they belong to the same group and create a portrait based on that.  With the right amount of information, I can determine ethnicity, age, height and build and behavioural patterns.  But I’ll only do it once I’m one hundred percent sure and I’ve collaborated with my team.  Otherwise I risk getting it wrong and starting a witch hunt.”

“In all my years in narcotics, I’ve never seen anything like this.”  Fin revealed, “The amount of sophistication that an operation like this would take speaks to me of a professional touch.”

“Do you think a gang could be behind this?”

Fin shook his head as he leaned against the cupboards and rested his hands on the bench behind him, “While I’ve seen some sophisticated gangs with the technology to pull something like this off and the ability to stay one step ahead of law enforcement, I feel like we’re missing something crucial.”

“What if it’s more than one gang?  United under a particular person?”

Fin nodded slowly as he thought it over, “Smaller gangs can slip under the radar and they’d be more inclined to work for someone bigger in exchange for protection.  Especially if they’re working with rival gangs under the leadership of our mystery guy.  Question is: who?  Who would have that kind of power to unite them?”

You let out a moan, “Which brings us back to our original problem?”

“Not only that.  We’re no closer to figuring out why and how your boy was involved.”

“Well, how did you find out about your guy?”

“Witness called in a failed rape.  Said that the intruder burst into his home and shot straight towards him.  Grabbed his clothes and tore them.  Just before things could get worse, the intruder keels over and dies.”

“Just like that?”

“Just like that.” Fin confirmed.  “Victim was pretty shaken.”

“Yeah, I’ll bet.”

Footsteps reached yours and Fin’s ears at the same time and Tony appeared in the doorway to the break room.  You knew it was serious when he didn’t make a quip about you finding the break room first like he normally would have.

“Anonymous caller just phoned in that there is another victim.”

“Same MO?” Fin questioned.

“Looks like it,”  Tony replied heavily.

[luescris]

Spoiler warning for Sonic Prime below, beware

So many things are going in my brain right now. A million different trains are running a million miles on high speed and I have no way of knowing which one to start with because oh my god

I finished watching Sonic Prime. And safe to say I am absolutely gobsmacked

What a show. From start to finish. There's so many things that I want to say about it. The characterization, the emotion, the animation, the end. Some of it may be critiques, but not in a bad way. I'm just. Genuinely. So happy that we got this.

What I will admit though, was that the fight scenes in this season seemed to be a little bit dragged on. They were bearable and fun to watch for sure, and there was not much happening, but I think I understand why they did that. 😆 Everything else though. Man

Shadow was the best he's ever been in forever. Just for starters. We need more of that Shadow on so many levels. The Amy's consistently teaming up with each other, calling each other sisters, holy shit?? That was the greatest ever????? Not only that but Dread naming Black Rose the Captain was so amazing I can't even like. Find the right words. It fit so well and I literally was vibrating like augh Like in general Amy had such good representation throughout the entire show, in fact both her and Shadow have and those were the two that I was worried for the most and I am so glad that they did them right

Sails and Mangey though. I thought they were gone for good for a long while there. When they returned I was so very freaking happy like aaaaa

Nine's entire deal was definitely An Experience, and I don't mean that in a bad way he was certainly a goober, but the concept of an evil Tails man. Very scary indeed HFHDDHD

But then. There was freaking. The moment where Sonic was about to blip out of existence. Where he turns around to the Amy's and goes "Goodbye Roses". And then when everything came together again and he called her "sweet Amy." With that look on his face and that stance. Am I the only one that feels vindicated?? That screamed and ran around out of pure excitement??? Like am I reaching or was that genuinely them telling us he one hundred percent has a thing for Amy??? I genuinely do not know but my heart wants to say yes and I am on the floor.

My only question is; what the heck was with that end?? I know they said that it was meant to be part of the games somehow some way but like. They don't show anything? The only thing we get is Eggman saying he needs a bigger fleet and that tells me that maybe this is before Forces??? But I genuinely have no idea augh

Does anyone else know?? Can anyone else figure that out like augh ahshhdsh

I really want to like. Dive super deep into all of the things Sonic no doubt has to tell his friends about what happened and his feelings about fighting Nine and maybe even missing all of them in a way and just. Yeah man wowie

Also the fact that Shadow appears out of nowhere to everyone except Sonic and takes the Prism somewhere, and he was like "I go wherever I want" that was so funny, especially since he too knows what happened like aidhdhdhdhhs 😂

But god man. Honest rating is 8/10 show. There were moments that were cheesy but ultimately it was amazing, and I loved watching every bit of it. :D I am so very sad to see something so great go so fast, but I suppose that's the nature of Sonic I guess lmao 😂

[fairycosmos]

girl help, a friend of mine who's 25 and who struggles a lot (several severe mental and physical illnesses, fucked up abusive parents that she lives with, abusive shitty boyfriend, no job, no financial security etc) says she wants a child asap so that it will give her a sense of meaning and security and essentially "fix" her. idk what to tell her i just don't think that's a good idea for her OR for the child. she literally said getting married or having a child would fix her

what a mess :/ i'm sorry to hear that. it must be really hard to see your friend go through all of this while wanting to make such unhealthy yet permanent decisions on top of it all.

it sounds like she's in a really bad place, and isn't thinking rationally or clearly, which will probably make it really hard to get through to her. as an outsider looking in on the situation, there's definitely only so much you can do here, and i'm sure you've already thought of all the ways you can express your uncertainty with her plans and your concern for her well-being, which is really one of the only things you can consistently do as mate. i think trying your best to ground her in reality when the topic of parenthood comes up would be a good way to go about things - talk about the sleep deprivation, the insane cost, the possible post partum depression, the lack of resources she currently has available to her to raise a whole human being, the lifelong commitment, the crushing and constant responsibility, having no down-time. i'm sure on some level she already knows it, and maybe she won't be that receptive to hearing it, but keeping it as real as possible with her is honestly super necessary at this point imo. you're a hundred percent right about her not having the means to realistically do this, but she may be in such a desperate and isolated state of mind that she doesn't want to admit it. if you speak to her from a place of genuine worry, she may be more likely to hear you out eventually, even if it takes time.

honestly, hearing about this sort of thing usually really pisses me off - i am so fucking tired of people carelessly actively choosing to have children that they're ill prepared for and perpetuating the seemingly never-ending cycle of trauma, but i think mostly i just feel really sad for your friend. stability and companionship do seem really enticing when you don't have either of them, and we all deserve to experience those things in one way or another. it's cruel that only some people get appropriate access to it, you know? i think what your friend might be looking for is a sense of support and community, feeling like she belongs to something and has a purpose. if you're able to encourage her to go to therapy, build up a healthy routine, invest her time and energy into communal hobbies - she may end up finding that feeling from other sources before she actually does end up having kids or marrying someone out of pure loneliness. obviously, this isn't solely your responsibility, and she has to want to be an adult about the situation, to want to do whats right. it's first and foremost her choice to make, and all you can do as someone who deeply cares for her is try to be there. try to encourage healthier choices, like seeking professional help and being honest with her about her limited/idealistic perspective and showing that you just want what's best for her. i think if you're doing that, you're really doing all you can do without crossing any lines and pushing her away even further. this sucks, and i totally understand why you're feeling all sorts of ways about it. that's totally justified. i hope she comes to her senses soon. it may just be a phase. sending hug to you. x

[wikiangela-fanfics]

You're my greatest gift

Fandom: 911

Ship: Buck/Eddie

Words: 2.6k

I was making Christmas cookies with my fam, and this idea came to my mind haha I started writing this a few days before Christmas, but had no time to actually finish it but I managed to right on time lol - some of it might be weird and rushed and silly, but whatever, it was written in fragments over a few days between 2 and 3 am lmao

Merry Christmas everyone 🎄❤️

AO3 here

***

“Oh, fu- forking hell.” Eddie swears, in time correcting himself, as he’s trying to be careful and not swear in front of his kid. “Why is this… like that?” he complains. The cheerful Christmas songs playing in the background do not make his mood any more Christmassy.

“You need to be gentler with it.” Buck laughs, coming over to him and taking the Christmas-tree-shaped cookie cutter with falling apart dough, out of his hands. He’s wearing a brand new Christmas-themed apron, and he looks so cute in it. Eddie wishes he could grab that apron to pull Buck close to him, and plant a kiss on his lips. It’s not happening, though, it’s not like that with them, unfortunately. Not yet, at least. He can’t be one hundred percent sure, but he feels like they both feel the same, they’ve just been dancing around this for a while.

“I’m very gentle. It’s this fucking dough.” Eddie pouts, this time forgetting himself about the swear words. He hears Christopher giggle, from where he’s sitting at the table, cutting cookies from his own batch of dough. Eddie turns towards him: “Do not ever repeat that.”

“Okay, dad.” Chris rolls his eyes.

“It’s not the dough, the dough is perfect.” Buck says, and Eddie’s attention is back on him, or, more specifically, his hands, that are currently cutting out the perfect cookie and placing it on the baking tray. “I thought you were bad at cooking, and this is not even cooking, Eds.” he chuckles. “This is literally just cutting out shapes from the dough that I made. How are you messing this up?” he shakes his head, and looks at Eddie with a shit-eating grin. 

“How should I know?” he throws his hands up in frustration. “I guess I just suck.”

“So dramatic.” Buck shakes his head. “You don’t suck.” he rolls his eyes, fond exasperation visible in his face, and he’s still smiling. Eddie almost wants to smile back. How can you not, when you see Buck’s adorable smile? “Add more flour, it won’t stick to the board.”

“Whatever.” Eddie grumbles, feeling his face get warm. He grabs the cookie cutter and jams it into the dough a bit too roughly. Eddie does not have the patience for all that cooking, baking, kitchen-related stuff. 

“Okay, that is not what I meant.” Buck laughs, reaching out and grabbing Eddie’s hand. His face feels even hotter now. Buck guides his hand into a spot in the dough, presses the cookie cutter there, presses the stamp lightly – Eddie bought those fancy cookie cutters with stamps built in when Christopher came up with the idea to make Christmas cookies – and then shakes the cutter a bit, and when he gets the Christmas-tree-shaped dough out of it, it looks flawless. “See? Not that hard.”

“It’s boring, though.”

“No, it’s not.” Christopher chimes in. “It’s fun.”

“Is it?” he scrunches up his nose, and hears Buck laugh, before he quickly closes his eyes, when Buck flicks flour at his face. “Hey!”

“I said add more flour.”

“Do it yourself.” he can’t help a laugh that escapes him, as he throws some flour in Buck’s direction as well. That starts a war, and Eddie briefly thinks that they’re gonna have to clean this up, but ultimately, who cares, it’s Christmas – well, technically Christmas Eve.

They end up just throwing the flour all over the kitchen, over counters and the floor, and they get Christopher with it, too, which is when he joins in, laughing, for just a moment, until he gets bored, or fed up with them, and goes back to the cookies. All of them are laughing, and are actually having a lot of fun now. Then, there’s a moment, when Eddie prepares to throw more flour at Buck, but he’s close to him and manages to grab Eddie’s hand to prevent that. Because of that, and because of how Eddie’s trying to get out of his grip, they end up real close together. Eddie sharply inhales, when his face is suddenly way too close to Buck’s. For a moment they just look at each other, and Eddie swears he notices Buck looking at his lips at least three times in just a few seconds. Eddie licks his lips nervously, and his heart is hammering. Is this happening? Is this finally happening? He’s almost sure Buck’s starting to lean in, when they hear Christopher’s voice, as he announces he’s done with his batch, and Buck and Eddie awkwardly move away from each other, nervous smiles on their faces. Dammit, Eddie really hoped it’d finally happen. He’s pretty sure Buck wants that too, so maybe it will soon. Hopefully when they’re alone, with no interruptions.

Buck smiles and goes over to Chris, where a whole baking tray is filled with raw Christmas-shaped cookies, ready to be baked.

“You did it so fast, wow!” he says, wiping at his forehead, though there’s still flour on his face. “Let’s put them in the oven, then. And your dad can finish his part while those are baking.”

“Did you finish yours?” Eddie asks, amused.

“Got distracted.” Buck flashes him a grin, as he opens the pre-heated oven. “So, when they’re baked, they’ll cool off, and then we can decorate.” he adds, and, honestly, Eddie is not looking forward to that. He should’ve just made some excuse and let his boys do this on their own. He loves spending time with them, of course he does, and he is having fun, but decorating sounds even less fun than what he’s doing now.

“Okay. So can I go to my room now?” Christopher responds, getting up from the table.

“Sure, I’ll come get you when they’re ready.” Buck ruffles his hair, and he complains, because Buck is still very much covered in flour, not unlike Chris and the whole kitchen. But honestly, Eddie prefers all the cleaning to any kind of cooking. “So. Let’s finish the cookies, and then we’ll clean?” he suggests, once Chris is gone.

“Fine, whatever.” Eddie shrugs, going back to his portion of the dough. “This is so boring.”

“Aw, come on, Eddie. Where’s your Christmas spirit?” Buck asks cheerfully.

“I think it died when it saw my attempts at making cookies.” Eddie responds deadpan, and Buck bursts out laughing. Eddie can’t help a smile. Buck’s laugh is one of the most wonderful sounds in the universe.

“If you stopped complaining, you’d have it done already.”

They talk a bit more while working, and finally they have another two trays of cookies – Eddie’s looking slightly more messy, but, honestly, who cares, they’re all gonna be eaten anyway. In that time, that first batch is baked, so Buck puts it on the counter and lets it cool off, while they put another tray in the oven.

“That’s a lot of cookies.” Eddie comments, as he tries to brush off the flour from his clothes. “Who’s gonna eat all that?”

“We are.” Buck shrugs. “Or we can put some of them on the Christmas tree!” he adds suddenly. “We’d have to add holes in that last batch, though.”

“Okay.” Eddie relents. It’s Christmas. He can do some more kitchen-related stuff. The only thing making it worth it is his son’s happiness, and Buck’s presence through it all, of course. So, they do that. It doesn’t take as long as Eddie anticipated. None of it does, really. He just really doesn’t like cooking – and baking, whatever. 

Then, they get to cleaning, starting with their own clothes. Buck ruffles his own hair, shaking out any remaining flour. Then, he stands in the middle of the kitchen with his arms spread wide, and spins around slowly.

“Is there any more flour on me?”

“Uh-” Eddie looks him over carefully, really enjoying it. Finally a good excuse to shamelessly ogle him. “Yeah. You still have some on your face.” he watches as Buck wipes at his face with his sleeve, but he doesn’t get it all. Without thinking, Eddie steps closer to him. “Here, let me.” he pulls his own sleeve over his hand, and wipes the powder from the tip of Buck’s nose, a spot below his jaw, and a little bit from his forehead. He only realizes how close they are again, and that his other hand is on the back of Buck’s neck, when he notices the look in Buck’s eyes, they’re so wide and open and vulnerable, full of hope and wonder… and Eddie hopes to any god that’ll listen, that he’s not imagining it. He smiles softly, leaning in a bit closer. He gathers all the courage he has in him to say: “Seems like we were interrupted earlier.”

“So you decided to recreate the moment?” Buck raises his eyebrow, trying to sound smug, but his voice is shaking a bit.

“Maybe.” Eddie shrugs, and bites his lip nervously. Buck’s gaze immediately drops down to his lips. “So. Where were we?” he whispers now, as if speaking any louder would break the moment again. He looks at Buck’s lips as well, then back to his eyes, questioningly.

“Well, I wasn’t exactly sure then. I know where we are now, though.” he swallows audibly.

“Yeah?” Eddie breathes.

“Yeah.” Buck suddenly closes the remaining few inches, and gently presses his lips against Eddie’s. Eddie melts against him, his mouth immediately opens, deepening the kiss. He wraps his arms around Buck’s neck, bringing him as close as possible, and Buck’s arms are around Eddie’s back. The kiss is soft, but hungry, they’ve both been waiting for it for such a long time… There’s no rush now, but it’s like they’re trying to catch up on lost time, put as much of that longing and pining, and as much of the love and attraction that’s been building up since they met, as much of all of these emotions as possible. It’s rushed, and a bit sloppy, and passionate. Eddie never wants it to stop. Buck smells like the fresh cookies he just pulled out of the oven, and his cologne that Eddie loves so much… and flour, too, obviously. He tastes like the hot chocolate he and Chris have been drinking, and his hands are firmly holding Eddie… and he just overwhelms all of Eddie’s senses in the best possible way. He momentarily forgets about anything and anyone else. It’s only him and Buck, nothing else exists at that moment. 

And he’d love for it to stay that way for just a little while longer, but then they’re interrupted once again, this time by the oven beeping. Buck starts to pull away reluctantly, but Eddie chases after him. He’s prepared to let those cookies burn if that means a few more minutes of Buck’s lips on his. 

“Eddie.” Buck chuckles. He has the biggest smile on his face, and he’s blushing. Damn, Eddie wants to kiss him for the rest of his life. “Give me a minute, I’ll get the cookies out.” he leans back in to press a short peck to Eddie’s nose. “Now that I know- We can get back to that later. And do so much more of it.” another soft peck, this time to Eddie’s lips. Eddie just now realizes that he’s smiling widely. He’s so happy, he almost feels as if he’s dreaming. If it is a dream, he’d like to stay in it forever.

“Fine.” Eddie rolls his eyes fondly, as he watches Buck go over to the oven, his eyes not leaving him for a second. Then, Buck takes the tray out, and checks on that first batch.

“Oh, those are ready to decorate.” he says, his tone half-cheerful, half-disappointed, as he looks back at Eddie longingly. “I should go get Chris.”

“Yeah.” Eddie smiles. So maybe he’ll have to wait to kiss Buck again, but that’s fine. Now he knows that it’s going to happen again, so he just feels excited. Despite the worst part of the evening just starting – decorating. He’s gonna suck at it so bad. 

And he does. It does not go well. Buck and Chris make fun of him for being as far from artistic as possible. Though, in Eddie’s opinion, they put way too much effort into their cookies, that turn out amazingly well. Eddie’s cookies look awful in comparison with theirs, and there’s probably way too many things on them – Eddie just knows they’re going to be way too sweet – but it’s no big deal, it really doesn’t bother him. Still, Buck goes out of his way to assure him they’re fine, which is unnecessary, but sweet nonetheless.

It’s still a lot of fun, and Eddie’s in a much better mood, which does not go unnoticed by his son, who asks about it. Eddie just laughs nervously, as he and Buck exchange glances. He’ll tell Chris soon, tomorrow maybe. First, he and Buck need to talk, make sure they’re on the same page. Because it’s not just anyone, it’s Buck, and Eddie’s all in, he’d marry him right this second if he could. He just needs to know that Buck knows that, and that they’re on the same track that will eventually get them there. 

Later, they hang a few cookies on the Christmas tree, and Christopher is really excited about the idea. After that, it’s bedtime. So, after his kid goes to bed, Eddie and Buck finally get to cleaning the kitchen, which is a mess. Eddie wants to talk to him while he has the chance, because he knows that as soon as they’re done, he won’t resist jumping straight to making out.

“Hey, Buck?” he says, from where he’s sweeping the flour off the floor.

“Yeah?” Buck grins at him from across the kitchen, and it’s such a disarming smile, Eddie’s knees get weak.

He’s sure he wanted to say something else, something more subtle, just start the conversation… but he just ends up staring and Buck and blurting out on one breath:

“You know I’m completely in love with you, right?” 

Buck looks a bit stunned for maybe half a second, before his smile turns into the softest, fondest smile Eddie’s ever seen, and he crosses the kitchen in three steps, takes Eddie’s face in his, and kisses him deeply.

“I’m absolutely, madly in love with you, too. I have since… hell, I think I’ve been falling for you since the moment I saw you.” he whispers, staring right into Eddie’s eyes. Eddie feels as if all his dreams just came true – which, they kind of did. 

“I think I have, too.” Eddie admits. He might not have known it until a few months ago, but it’s true. Those feelings have been building and building since they met. “I just want you to know,” he starts, his tone firm, his hands covering Buck’s, which are still on Eddie’s face, “that I am one thousand percent in. I want this. Us. Forever and ever, until the end of the world.”

“That’s great, because I’ve never wanted anything more.” Buck responds, beaming. “I love you, and I love Chris, and I love our family, and I’ll be here forever and ever.” he teases, leaning in for another kiss. “As long as you want me here.”

“I’m happy to hear that.” Eddie grins, leaning in again. “What would you say if we left cleaning for tomorrow?” he whispers right against Buck’s lips.

“I’d say… we’re gonna be so annoyed when we wake up to the mess. But I don’t care.” 

“Me neither.” Eddie kisses him again, and somehow they stumble into the living room, but only get as far as the couch. Their lips don’t separate for more than a few seconds until much later, when they go to bed, and fall asleep, cuddling.

Most of their evening is spent making out on the couch, with Christmas songs still playing quietly in the background from Buck’s phone, and the room is illuminated only by the lights from the Christmas tree. It’s a perfect Christmas Eve evening, and Eddie already got the best gift he could’ve asked for – the love of his life loving him back. 

[butchcaseyjones]

why i like august, fictional morality, and the trap the narrative is leading you into

so i should definitely be going to sleep right now since i’m planning to wake up at 5am to watch yr season 2, but i’m having thoughts which is rare for me so best make the most of it.

i was talking with my friends today (about young royals, in light of season 2 dropping tomorrow) and they kept challenging why i like august. for some reason they couldn’t seem to fathom that i could truly adore every part of august and his character while still admitting that his actions were morally bad and inexcusable. it led me to wonder myself: why do i like august? why do we like some morally corrupt fictional characters but not others if their morals and situations are similar?

i thought for a while and was led to the conclusion that it’s about what characters you’re invested in. this is specific to what type of characters appeal to you, but i truly and genuinely love august because i’m more invested in his character than i am with wille and simon. don’t get me wrong, they’re very well-written, but as much as i know that august’s actions are inexcusable i still find myself rooting for his corrupt goals because i understand his character traits, motivations, and backstory. he’s very interesting, which, to me, makes him likeable. i can see why some other fans would find him well-written but not likeable but in the end i think it boils down to what traits appeal to you in a fictional character. i’ve always loved characters who are arrogant, tend to conceal their emotions, and are not fandom favourites. august was evidently made just for me.

however as my friends continued to insist that morals are what make or break a character i wondered why this is the case for august but not other characters. in a popular book series, six of crows, the main character kaz brekker is seriously morally corrupt. he has his explanations and his traumatic backstory but many of his actions are just plain wrong. and yet many media consumers would like him but not august. i think this is because of point of view. i went into young royals with august being my favourite from the first episode, and because of this, i considered his perspective and how things might look from his mentally disturbed point of view. but most casual viewers aren’t going to be examining the show like this. when a morally bad character’s internal explanations and justifications for their actions are fed to you because the story unfolds from their viewpoint, it’s much easier to love them and sympathize with them despite their morals. if any story took place from the protagonist’s enemy’s perspective, you would end up hating the protagonist.

naturally this led to me thinking about the concept of villainy as a whole, especially in young royals. my friend told me that august is the antagonist of the show, and i believe this is very wrong. when you take a step back and look at it, the idea of a severely mentally ill 18 year old being the main antagonist is a ridiculous notion. august, like almost every other character in this show, is a victim of the crown’s manipulative, alluring, cold-hearted power. the power that allows wille’s own mother to put him last. the power that taught august the only way to survive is to prioritize control and success over everything else.

i believe the trap my friend fell into - thinking that august is the show’s villain instead of considering the larger themes - is one the show will use against us in season two. centering august and wille’s feud in the narrative while much more nefarious goings-on happen above the viewer’s heads, among powerful players in the swedish monarchy. i’m not a hundred percent sure this will happen, it’s just a theory, but it would be a genius move on the show’s part to play with the narrow-mindedness of some audience members. it would also be a good metaphor for what often happens with monarchies. meaningless public feuds and disputes are displayed in the media so that the general public will ignore what’s actually happening. just some thoughts! i’m going to bed now. i’ll come back once i’ve watched season two (probably on wednesday since i have no technology access for most of tuesday lol)

[titanicfreija]

Rise-26 has concerns

"So you're just answering questions."

"Yeah...?"

"From. The. Not 'a', but The mother fucking Empress. Caiatl. Leader of the Cabal Empire, which spans multiple solar systems; possessor of tech that fucks with Darkness and Light alike; who staged a fucking coup with fucking Ghaul--who shut down the Traveler and kicked our collective ass-- to overthrow Calus, fucked as he was, the guy that psychically linked himself to magic fungus and spread himself over the galaxy. You're taking questions like some kind of celebrity from the most powerful non-god we deal with?"

"Would it make you feel better to know it feels more like being interrogated? I get that you're upset about it, but she isn't Ghaul or Calus, and she's not interested in finding an excuse to kill us."

"She doesn't need one!"

"Actually, yeah. So me giving her one would be meaningless."

"The fuck can you tell an empress, anyway! What doesn't she know that you do?!"

"The difference between being suffocated by crushing or airway blockage."

~

"...Did she really ask you about that?"

"Nah. She did ask if I get scared when I die, though."

"Auuuggghhh! Of course that's what she would ask, and you are the worst one to answer."

"I've mentioned how much you hate being shot twice. Which reminds me, I think that's my shields. Your armor is thin but the shields can be modified with--"

"Focus, meathead, I'm trying to make sure your fat New Light mouth doesn't start an intergalactic war."

"Oh for-- It's not a hundred percent safe, but Sunny can mute my comms whenever she wants. All three of us, actually. They've been making little rules for the interviews since Neomuna--"

"Hang on, what?"

"I told you what happened. Sunny didn't remember anything and I couldn't talk about it for a while so she went to ask Caiatl and Nimbus. Caiatl mentioned not knowing anything about Ghosts, and Sunny, being the guiding sunbeam she is, wanted to help and offered to answer any questions. I can't tell you how their conversations evolved, but Sunny started it while I was meditating, they'd go talk for a bit. Then she started hanging out with her while I was sleeping and she was in range, and now they're talking via comms when we're in range. I don't know if they've been doing that without my knowing or if the first time she did it included me on accident or intentionally-- but yeah."

".... Guiding Sunbeam who is trying to upset all the politics."

"The world is ending, no one has time to get petty."

"This is precisely the time to get petty."

"Hunter."

"You do sound jealous, though. That's not why you're getting in on this, is it?"

"I was jealous, but hearing what they talk about is helping. Why are old people so weird?"

"What, talking about the nature of existence and shit?"

"Nature of your being, is what she said. Talking about being a Guardian, the resurrection stuff and what it means to not die like that. Asking about fear of death and if it hurts, like I said. If I could have shot someone else's Ghost instead of Sunny."

"Oh, shit, okay I see. Questions she really can't ask anyone else. Are you okay?"

"Yeah."

"...."

"I said I didn't want to be that kind of person, but I am and I could but I'd feel bad. And then I went on for a while about why I'd feel bad. Cos you know how much I love Sunny, but even Three with Ghost and Thomas with Rex, and I can't.... It's a fucked up question, it was a fucked up order, and she's still learning exactly how bad because she's getting to ask some jackass real personal, prying, triggering questions, instead of trying to guess by sideways remarks from Zavala, bad explanations from Sunny, or me crying in front of her because she reminded me too sharp when she said sorry."

"And giving her a grand view of a weak spot isn't a bad idea to you?"

"She knows the Ghosts are our weak spots."

"This just screams bad idea."

"She likes Sunny. And I'm really some jackass. And she doesn't have to posture at me. And she likes this."

"... She has been shot before, why would she need to ask you?"

"I didn't survive. It's a little weird, I've never really thought about any of it, but I'm usually too busy thinking of an answer to worry about how she's gonna feel about it."

"Like what? What's weird?"

"What would you do if you met someone that killed their own Ghost?"

"... Yeah I can't... What... Can this person.... What?"

"Yeah, that's what I said. Couldn't even imagine a person that could do it, what they'd act like. Said they'd spook me. But then I said something like, I'd be more freaked out by someone who was okay with killing their own Ghost. And said that killing Ghosts in front of their Guardians is fucked up."

"It is."

"She didn't know that!"

"... Oh."

"I mean, she's not stupid, she probably knew it wasn't okay, but she didn't realize-- we all feel like that, and didn't realize we would feel each other's pain regarding our relationships and stuff, like us flinching when talking about Sagira and Brya and Rex."

".... Huh."

"Yeah, normal common knowledge to us, stuff we think is obvious-- she thought they were just chatty conduits, tools, not friends, let alone tied like we actually are, ways keeping even Rex and Thomas together."

"So Sunny helped?"

"It's been progressing for a while. She doesn't really talk to me about it, said it's rude, I'm pretty sure she just doesn't wanna tell me how much shit she talks. Can tell some shit, though. Set her off digging into history books and shit, questions she couldn't answer or got inspired to ask."

"Like what?"

"... Awoken Politics, for one."

"What's the real story there?"

"Awoken Politics is what I feel is safe to tell you. Shithead doesn't know when to let a question stay unanswered. That shit was the potential war."

"Ohhhhh..."

"Yep!"

"And. She's been answering questions. Like what?"

"I don't know. She won't tell me. A shitload of, "what the fuck are they doing" followed by "Why", with a bunch of just, "why" because she can tell what we're doing."

"... Fair enough. Seriously, though, why? Why does she care?"

"She's working pretty tight with us and we're unpredictable idiots and she wants half a clue? Fun? Curiosity? She seems to want to know more about the classes, our early days, the connection with the Ghosts and each other, and piddling other shit. Oh, she asked what my first memory was."

"That's another weird one."

"Sunny said she was probably testing my awareness on waking up."

~

Hard Questions

New Angle

Honest

Radio Chat

Scripted Questions

Battlefield

Fear

Enlightening

More like Interrogation <-

(In)humanity

Underlying

Ghost Affection

[aakristinejoyce]

#1 beginning of an end

It wasn't all bad, it was truly, fully, beautifully euphoric.

this will be the last time I'll write about this. one must learn to let it all go.

as I fully closed this book, I have to give the truest words my heart yields for. Serving the Lord will forever be the greatest yes of my life. I will never be half of who I am now, if it wasn't for that yes.

I owe who I am because of that yes. I owe Him my purpose. He had given me the opportunity of a lifetime. To learn to love without limits, to reach beyond logic, to freely create and be a part of an environment that speaks for people like me - someone lost, least, last.

He gave me something to fight for and He surrounds me with love all throughout the way.

It was my greatest blessing.

blessed was a loose term when I was young. It was a foreign concept. something Im shy to pronounce. I always used the term luck. It has a better ring in it. I always knew I had it good in life, but I always asks for more. I didn't know what I was missing, I didn't know why I'm lonely even if I'm surrounded. It was when I first encountered His love, I first felt blessed. Everything, everyone, everywhere felt grace after. Until now, it never changed.

It was my greatest admission.

It was the first time I told the world I wanted this. A loud declaration from someone who never voice out what she needs, what she wants. More than a mere action of being passive to the world and its tradition, I learned to not shy away from declaring to the world that I belong to Him, that it is His love that's changing me. It was the first time I set foot on the stage to not have the spotlight but to be a bearer of His light.

It was my greatest adventure.

to the people I have met along the way, the every stories I heard, every church and history I have been a part of, it was truly a once in a life time adventure. the places I visited, the lives I have known and been a part of, there is no greater feeling than journeying and traveling through time with the greatest people God has given you to love. You truly became a mosaic of all the people you encountered and let in. I am glad through this adventure, I found beautifully crafted people that I truly adored.

It was my greatest lesson.

with all the lessons, realizations, whispers I have heard and heartily took in, it was in my graceful defeat that I have learned what my greatest lesson is. It was the night my mom died and I was finding it in my heart the hate, the doubt and the question of why. I didn't find any of it. What I found was this faint beating deep within my soul that kept on saying, "in the process of losing everything, I still felt loved". I am sure, a hundred percent, that it will go differently if I never said yes.

It was my greatest achievement.

i was raised to always be at the top. people get disappointed when im not being my best self. I always believe I am loved for all the things I achieve, so when I started to fail and got punished for it, I got scared that I am being loved for the reasons I didn't want. so I started failing more just to prove a point that I am right, that I am being loved and celebrated because of my highs and not because of who I am. all the medals, trophies and awards didn't matter to me ever since I realized that the greatest achievement I had gained was finding who I really am in the process of building His legacy through my history. When people see a glimpse of Him through me, I already achieved heaven on earth.

It was my greatest surrender.

i am never one to back out from a fight especially when I know I'll win and if there's a slight chance that I won't, I step aside. im competitive in nature but lazy as well. I avoid risks, I always play it safe. but something shifted the moment I learned how to love right, that it takes a lot of humility to graciously face a fight and not control the odds. to put yourself out there even if you have no idea how things are gonna unfold. to offer your nothingness and be a witness of how it turned out to be just as everything. it didn't matter if I'll lose or win anymore, this yes turned every losses and wins into a greater opportunity to be less of myself and more of Him. I became the moon, nothing without the Sun.

It was my greatest sacrifice.

I got dirt on my feet and stars on my head, and all I can think about is how much I love Him. I fell in love with life the moment I fell in love with the Lord. It is as if I clearly saw beauty and meaning through His eyes. Gradually, through every little yes, simple steps that lead me to take up my own cross, deny myself and die a few times just to be worthy of following Him, I knew it by heart, I have kept my promise and have fought the good fight. It was all driven by love, and in love I have given my life for a decade.

In the end,

It was my greatest transformation.

I always thought saying yes to the mission and service had set my metamorphosis completely. I felt high, I completely soar upwards, fall a few times but still caught myself trying to fly. Going from one flower to another, embracing the beauty of my wings even if I can't see it. It was truly euphoric, to feel life coursing into your veins and being electrified by so much positivity and love you never thought was possible. Love really came down and manifest itself through my every yes. It was what I needed, it kept me alive, kept me afloat until I am ready to let it all go.

The greatest transformation started the moment I said yes a decade ago and it was completed the moment I had the courage to breakthrough out of the cocoon that I'm in. I thought I am already complete, but I wasn't. In time, I have been shown how things truly unfold differently to everybody.

I wasn't meant to stay, I was meant to breakthrough. I am always meant to leave. My time runs out, my part was done and I am grateful for the ride. It wasn't for me anymore, but it doesn't mean that everything that happened was forelong gone. It will always be there, it will always be special.

I am someone new. Some would say, I might be someone else. I changed but it's not because of pain, it was because for the first time in a very long time, I started to see my truth and I'm choosing it this time. I can't do that, if I stayed.

I walked and turned away from the vessel but never the source. I miss it most of the time, but I knew it was what needed to be done. Nevertheless ~

It was my greatest honor to be Yours forever, Lord.

A path closes for me, but I knew wherever I'll be, You'll meet me.

[wxrgirl]

@meinliied​ for Annora (plotted starter) 

Her eyes followed the unfamiliar figure, fingers twitching with excitement and magic. A guardian, within so close of her own reach... Marian smiled for a moment as the realisation hit her. Her master would be proud should she be able to defeat such a foe. But for now she needed to stay calm, to think before she was to react. After all their plan was carefully put together and the locals grew more distrustful - towards each other, towards the king - with each passing day. Soon an even greater victory would show itself on the horizon.  She had been sent to this far away village to move within the shadows, to be felt rather than seen to - Her thoughts were aprubtly cut off as the guardian passed her by and through the small crowd that had formed Marian could see that she was facing a girl. A young woman. So young and so powerful. "Excuse me?", before she could stop herself the necromancer had rushed forward, grabing for the stranger's hand. She was touched by death, but deep down she was just a young girl - noisy and full of life. "Are you visiting? You must be from the capital, by the looks of your clothes or-", she faked a gasp, "Even from Kinghal?"