#I am a freak. I'm..just a freak
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the pain I feel is undescribable to me.
#I don't deal with relationships well by that I mean i only was in One#and I'm still haunted 3 years after the breakup.#The more I live the more I read my ex blog the more I feel I am the bad one#always has been#my ex is friendly and has support from mutuals and is nice to everyone they talk to#and I am gloomy and inside my head#I feel like all those years of pain were my imagination and it never happened#So i am more so alone with all those painful memories#And feel like a freak for still dealing with it every day of my life in 2024.#All the persons who'd taken out toxicity on me foe years are now friendly and good#And I am so dark#I am a freak. I'm..just a freak#vent#oversharing
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Novice sewing pattern: Cut out shapes. Line up the little triangles on the edges. Stitch edges together. We've also included step-by-step assembly instructions with illustrations.
Novice knitting pattern: yOU MUSt uNDerstANd thE SECret cOdE CO67 (73, 87, 93) BO44 (63, 76, 90) 28 (32, 34) slip first pw repeat 7x K to end *kl (pl) 42 * until 13" (13, 13, 15) join new at 30 pl for 17 rows ssk 27 k2tog mattress lengthwise BO and sacrifice a goat to the knitting gods. WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU WANT "INSTRUCTIONS," I JUST GAVE THEM TO YOU
#knitting#no it's not a real pattern but I can't write one that makes sense because I have no freaking clue what any of that means#How do you make things that aren't basic rectangles#Why has every knitter I've asked for help just said 'patterns are easy; you just have to know how to read them' & then refused to teach me#Where do I even find a goat to sacrifice#How do I join the pattern cult#I am so confused#I've been knitting for almost a decade but I can only make scarves and potholders#I learned one (1) stitch by watching a YouTube video and none of my friends or family knit so I have no IRL resources#And nobody I meet seems to want to take the time to explain the rest to me#I taught myself to sew through trial and error but that doesn't really work with knitting because error is pretty much just... Unraveling?#Anyway sorry for the tag rant I'm just frustrated that I see pretty things I want to make but the instructions are in an alien language#And the gap between 'absolute novice' and 'intermediate' seems to be about 20 years of experience and formal instruction
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tranny freak :)
#Negativity#Transphobia#I don't know what to tell you buddy I'm not sure what your goal is here#I am genuinely so much happier like this#Figuring out that I'm a tranny freak has been the absolute best thing ever#All the loved ones who I've come out to have been so welcoming and supportive#I get to experiment with my appearance like I haven't done since my punk days in highschool#And I've always been a weirdo so freak isn't even hurtful that's been a point of pride for decades#What made you want to hurt a stranger buddy#What are you going through#Are you gonna read this and scoff cause I took a troll sincerely#Why are you so afraid of genuine connection#Why are you scared of people#Are you happy with your life right now#Do you like yourself#How much time do you spend doing this#Do you think the negativity might be getting to you#How much time do you spend feeling repulsed scornful and annoyed towards others that you gotta do something about it#I'm really sorry#I used to be a similar kinda angry and that shit taints everything#Idk man I just hope you can see the joy in things someday#There's so much cool and exciting stuff you can find when you start looking for happiness and good intentions#Kinda sad that you're missing out
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I have finally finished 2.4 and oh my GOD watching Dan Heng be so protective of his friends nearly killed me, MY HEART.
And yes, the cutscene where he pushes the trailblazer out of the way and even cushions their fall with his own body, but I mean even before that! When he was already trying to protect them and March 7th from Feixiao and Lingsha!!
Because if you watch the dango trio throughout the main quest, you'll notice that they often position themselves in the same way, which is a detail that makes me super happy that Hoyo thought to include- when the three of them aren't evenly spaced, March 7th and the trailblazer tend to gravitate towards each other and stand very close together, frequently side-by-side. And by comparison, Dan Heng usually stands slightly away, and often even slightly behind them, where he can pull on their leashes to wrangle them keep an eye on them.
This is probably a habit learned through experience, since March 7th said during Belobog she is the "queen of unannounced disappearances" fjdksajfkldjsak
And of course at least a little bit of it is just done for like, aesthetic purposes. It's a video game. Things have to look nice for the player. The trailblazer and Dan Heng are the same height, March 7th is a bit shorter, and Yanqing is even smaller. It makes sense to have the trailblazer and Dan Heng stand on the ends, with March 7th and Yanqing in the middle, it just looks nicer and more balanced that way. But still! Even when they're accommodating for Yanqing in this quest, they still all arrange themselves the same way, almost every time!
But this changes after Dan Heng and Yanqing become suspicious of the visitors from the Yaoqing.
The dango trio still stand around relaxed and in their usual manner when they go to the artisanship delve and meet Skott,
but Dan Heng takes notice of Lingsha when she arrives, and he and Yanqing mentioned her specifically when discussing their worries.
Yanqing worrying so much about Jing Yuan got me right in the heart, he's such a good boy WEH
And when the four of them go out to the alchemy delve to meet Lingsha for tea, the pattern breaks. Suddenly Dan Heng is standing right up front, and even walks in and enters the scene before March 7th and the trailblazer to get to Lingsha before them. He stays a step in front of them the whole time, too.
And then when Dan Heng and the trailblazer have to go be interrogated by Feixiao! The same deal! Dan Heng walks in ahead of them and stays in front of them! Noticeably so! Enough that even Feixiao takes note and voices it!
Dan Heng is so so fiercely protective of his companions, and I love it, I adore hyper vigilance in the wake of trauma like this, I'm so excited to see what else he does in 2.5, I hope we either get to see him get fucked up or the trailblazer gets fucked up in his place, I wanna see them run through the meat grinder!!!
#honkai star rail#hsr#hsr dan heng#dan heng#dancae#danstelle#he loves them so much wehhhhhh#(I know I threw in the ship tags but I mean that love romantically or platonically. tag this either way as you please)#but anyway not to mention the whole cutscene part and Dan Heng promising he wouldn't let them die before him#I could have screamed when I read that oh my GOD#Dan Heng. baby. honey. sweetiepie.#I am going to squish him#I wanna see him get a little freaked out about being stuck in the Shackling Prison again heehee#I hope we get to see his old cell at some point#looking at all this though like yeah no wonder Dan Heng immediately doesn't like Moze haha#Moze is capable of the bigger picture and of being objective. Dan Heng loses that ability when his friends are in danger.#It's just not something they can see eye-to-eye on.#Dan Heng and even the trailblazer both immediately see it as being cold and uncaring.#Moze: *breathes*#Dan Heng: I'm no cactus expert but this guy's a prick.#I love them both I hope they butt heads again later fjkldjaklfd#dango trio#Nameless trio#trailblazer trio#caelus#stelle#hsr caelus#hsr stelle#march 7th
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I need the pokemas anniversary to come soon so we can hopefully see volo go batshit crazy again for the second time!!!
#please please please give us a volo and giratina alt I BEG YOUUUU @ pokemas writers and devs 😭😭😭😭😭#his expression range is INSANE like. how can he look so unhinged because he made a deal with the devil but look so HOT while he's at it!!!#particularly the last screenshot... those wide crazed eyes... oooooh game freak was cooking and the kitchen exploded in a fire i fear#a.k.a they cooked so hard that this whole sequence will Haunt me the rest of my life like cynthia's piano intro for sure#also have i mentioned that he's so hot. how the hell does he do that#it's 12 am and i just woke up from a super long nap and i just miss him so much... i need to see him in pokemas or the mainline game again#gawd yeah i'm still obsessed with the last screenshot. never in a million years would i expect to see someone who looks like cynthia use#an expression like that... 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love pla so much you guyssss#volo#pokemon volo#pokemon wielder volo#pokemon legends arceus#pokemon#pla#pokemon: legends arceus#hisui
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having seen at least the rough outlines of all the romances now I have to say that I think emmrich's is probably objectively the best in terms of coherence and completeness of story arc (with the understanding that ultimately the 'best' romance is whichever one makes YOUR heart sing anyway so objectivity is a silly thing to claim that way, it just felt like it's the arc with the most well-paced focused content and the least dangling threads)... but lucanis' is my favourite haha. just. the whole kneeling before your beloved full of reverence but without any of the distance that usually implies??? his complete undramatic certainty and calm in every scene with rook after this, having spent the whole game caught between fear and longing???? mr. lives in a pantry but it says nothing about my psyche don't worry about it it's purely for tactical reasons that I keep myself contained in a small dark room not entirely unlike a cell, love among the parsnips -- finally coming to rook in their room and it's so comfortable and comforting???? after all the times rook supports and comforts him through the game he's finally able to return the same to them when they need it while being so calm and steady and it's so fucking sweet and feels so effortless and with no price attached?????? he basically assigns himself the role of your bodyguard and he WILL stab a god over it??????????????? the turn to protector (which was in his heart all along longing to get out and find a place) of it all????? he sounds like he's found himself unexpectedly stumbling into such a soul-lightening state of revelatory existential relief, full on 'you only have to let the soft animal of your body love what it loves' mary oliver style, and he goes and he shares that with rook and protectively envelops them in it when they're hurting??????????????????????????? hello for the maker's sake hello can anyone hear me?????
#listen I was forged in the fires of garrusmancing. I went through two whole games just to get a gentle headbutt and some tender words#before me3 comes along and rewards you for your tenacity more fully#me? the reyes romancer???? I have the strength and headcanon game to bear the relative lack of content before the end#when the endgame is this good I am willing to hold out for it haha the way he looks at rook towards the end......#I also really liked taash' (it's really sweet) but I don't think I have any rooks ready to go right now who would go for that vibe#emmrich for sure is going to be my either crow or shadow dragon romance it really is very good! and extremely goth not unrelatedly#undeniably that old man has the most game out of anyone in this story. the move with the flower??? I'm sorry????#I actually like that lucanis' romance blooms out of the safety of an established friendship more than anything (again. avowed garrusmancer)#but emmrich... he's got some next level romantic stuff going on and is being both so wholesome and such a freak about it lmao#dragon age#dragon age: the veilguard#dragon age: the veilguard spoilers#dragon age spoilers#lucanis dellamorte#rook x lucanis#rookanis#all jokes aside I totally respect and understand that people are a bit disappointed and frustrated -- they're not wrong to feel that!#there really are some gaps in content there for the midgame#however I was personally custom built by experience to get the most out of this scenario as possible and by god I will#just as I feel that ryder and reyes go off and have some soul-shrivingly good sex after the first kiss#(it makes that arc make a lot more sense to me haha)#I think rook and lucanis Get Up To It after the second coffee date. weird of them to not show us that but okay I'll fill it in myself then
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love how tma (and also tmagp) are sometimes like "hey, here is a well known historical figure, but in THIS universe, he's actually a fucked up spooky little guy who does weird creepy shit"
and then we EAT THAT SHIT UPPP
#i just think it's very cool of them#really adds to the vibes#to have a guy#who was proabbly at least somewhat normal irl#but in the podcast they're a spooky freak#tma makes historical ppl into spooky freaks like no other podcast#and that is why i'm here really#tma#tmagp#the magnus archives#the magnus protocol#tma shitpost#robert smirke#isaac newton#i am blanking so hard rn wtf#there r others i have not tagged i just CANNOT THINK
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Addition to that one post I made ages ago about Dream and Nightmare using very old language and confusing the people around them:
Boyfriend/girlfriend used to mean like, childhood/close friend of a particular gender
Cross comes back from hanging out with Epic and Nightmare off-handedly asks "Did you have fun with your boyfriend Epic?" and Cross splutters so hard he almost clips through the floor.
Meanwhile Ink wanders in from the void and Dream says "How's your boyfriend Error?" and Ink just replies "he's good"
#UTDR#UTMV#Nightmare Sans#Dream Sans#Ships are all implied so I'm not tagging them but you can interpret this as you like#Nightmare is especially confused about Cross freaking out because he says this to Killer all the time and gets nothing#Either because Killer and Color *are* dating and Killer just assumes Nightmare found out and is chill about it#Or he thinks Nightmare is doing some kind of bit and has been yes-and-ing him for years#Almost done with those drawings I swear#But this is further proof of how distracted I am at all times
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you all know the drill, corporate needs you to find the difference between these two pictures 🤣🤣🤣
#9-1-1#911 spoilers#eddie diaz#buddie#(yes this goes in the tag because I am OBSESSED with the way eddie's entire body language changes at the revelation that buck is single#again like HELLO AND WHAT THE FUCK I know everyone has been freaking out over it but I am very much still stuck in this single frame)#because funstuff#I'm sorry this is not my best work but I couldn't stop thinking about this every since I first saw eddie's face like that last night and#this meme immediately popped into my head#I just had to wait until now to actually grab screenshots xD
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rereading some of my favorite classic fan fics and again just so struck by the fact that mainstream fiction could never give me what you people give me every day for FREE. you're all the exact level of poetic and deranged that i'm endlessly searching for. no one is doing it like fic writers.
#architecture of the minotaur's heart is something i have always wished i could write#i am utterly obsessed with every part of the animal even though it's a movie rewrite#i think about love take your toll all the time#some of the lines from ergative/absolutive are so close to my heart they feel just like a disney movie or my dad's favorite song#do you GET WHAT I'M SAYING#like so many of you people have influenced me and my tastes beyond words#thank you to fic writers i love you weird little freaks!!!!!#text#about
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he is so cute....... bite him, reader. (⸝⸝ᵕᴗᵕ⸝⸝) also, i hope everyone can appreciate the motivational picture that i've put on the wip so i'm reminded of him always. <3
#meraki mumbles#reader: no one loves me 😔#skully (wearing his 'i love (name)' shirt): I DO!! ME!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!! LET ME LOVE YOU PLEASE#i'm so ill about him!!!!!!#his feelings for you are so soft and tender and sweet and he loves you with his whole heart AAAAAAAAAAA#and he listens to everything you say and remembers all of these small details you think are insignificant#but to him they mean everything!!!#skully's courtship is something like spider courtship in my heart... you are his spider queen he would do anything for you#i just know rollo and fellow are sick of these two and their romantic tensions T_T#skully loving the very unlovable you in spite of everything....... i am sick. this is so twisted. he is so sincere WAAAAAAA#and then there's skully's thought process of 'no one understands me' but because no one has been willing to try#and there's reader!!! matching his freak!!! enjoying his morbid quirks all of his silliness... genuinely interested in what he has to say#they are meant to be!!! it's fate OTL
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continuation of This
[Please don't tag as ship!]
#GHGHG#object show community#osc#tpot 9 spoilers#tpot#bfdi#bfdi tpot#tpot two#two#tpot golf ball#bfdi golf ball#tpot tennis ball#bfdi tennis ball#tpot gaty#bfdi gaty#RAHH tagging for this thing is So hard#they're really cute :)#I know everyone is freaking out about two and gaty friendship#and I am too !!#I'm just fucked up about uhm. two didn't kill Anyone#anyone at all#it's not just that. personal relationships make it so two doesn't do it#it's that two is kind to Everyone. two ist rying so hard for Everyone#they love the world and all these silly little objects and they are trying so fucking hard and are#genuinly they love everyone#isn't that fucked up#<- says guy who is SO fucked up about it#long tags sorry#jbird's art
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Enough general kn8 art, time to make everyone look at my weird little ship hello
#kn8#ichikawa reno#i still want to tag him leno help will i ever unlearn this#narumi gen#narureno#outing myself as a weird little freak#pls consider them they are very fun in my head KJSDHFS#Has anyone else ever even thought of them together in any way or am I more delusional than i already know i am#don't look at me I'M SHY ABOUT THEM#i just think narumi being such a little shithead and reno being polite cutie would be sooo funny#also aesthetically they are very pleasing together#which is the initial reason i started shipping them but now everything else is making sense too skdjfhs#manga spoilers ahead but like narumi respecting power and reno getting to use 6 which is the most powerful numbers weapon like??#IT MAKES SENSE#logging off and digging a hole and lying in it now out of fear goodbye
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talking to normal people about mha is always so enlightening because someone told me they didn't like season six and i was like???? THE BIBLE??????? YOU DONT LIKE THE BIBLE??? BAKUGOU KATSUKI RISING?? THE APOLOGY??? THE CHASING AFTER HIM TO FIGHT SHIGARAKI, THE REVEAL KATSUKI HAS BEEN WORRIED ABOUT IZUKU, IZUKU'S FERAL RAGE WHEN KATSUKI IS STABBED, KATSUKI BEING THE ONE TO FIND IZUKU AND THEN THE ONE TO BRING HIM HOME??? YOU DONT ENJOY THE SACRED TEXTS?? and then i'm like oh right not everyone is a fujoshi high on that sweet, sweet bkdk yaoi
#bkdk#bakudeku#it took all of my willpower not to be like my brother in christ i'm a fujo i'm gonna like anything that bkdk appears in#i'm not here for the powerscaling or the pacing or if they should be third years#i tried to say it like “oh lol i know everything that's gonna happen hhaha i am one of the crazies who stays up for leaks”#but i wanted to be like listen man i'm really only here for the homoeroticism idc about whatever it is youre talking about#not that i dont love mha as a whole i think it's got such a fun sandbox world and cast#it just feels like someone being like omg tell me if that new restaurant is good#and i'm like what the fuck i'm in the kitchen doing cocaine with the cooks#i was a waitress i'm allowed to say this#like we are not consuming the same thing#i'm in the goddamn trenches my emotional state depends on how homoerotic mha is gonna be#i'm in the deep underbelly of bkdk hands and soulmates and yearning i dont even know what you're talking about#i like mha an annoying amount#i wanted to be like remember when i came into work skipping and singing that was because we got bkdk sunset/ptsd scene#i'm a little freak goblin dont ask me if it's good i dont care that it's good I CARE THAT ITS MINE but also fuck you its good#it's the best fuck off if you dont like it you arent worthy of it#hori this is why you should give in and make bkdk canon the fujos are the ones who really love you
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#a rather Regal angle for a rather Regal bird..!#articuno#hey y'all i'm posting this on the same day as the game freak teraleak and hooooooly shit guys?? holy shit??#i'm not gonna talk about any of it here because some folks don't like hearing about leaks or hearing about spoilers or w/e but#holy shit. i heard from a random post on here that all this was spurred because some random game freak employee#fell for a phishing scam in their email. but i find that. very hard to believe?? that folks are just sending phishing scams to gamefreak#so they can leak information about. pokémon#and that game freak employees are stupid enough to fall for them#like i can say “they're programmers they should know this” but i am also a programmer and i also fell for one once#when i was in college. because i just wasn't paying attention. so#y'know. it can happen to anybody. i've been much more diligent about it since but it sucks that often i have to experience#consequences for an action in order to be proactive about it in the future#oh also um a bonus under the cut because the poll tied LOL!
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EVERYONE THIS IS NOT A DRILL THEY ASKED BRENT ABOUT PAUL AND DARRY
AND WE ALSO GOT SKY'S INPUT
#best receiver#if you know what I mean#HELLO INUENDO#or maybe that's just me#please tell me someone else is thinking what i'm thinking#or i am just a fucking freak#darry curtis#paul holden#darry x paul#paul x darry#peril#parry#soc saturday live#melody rose#everyone say thank you melody#brent comer#sky lakota lynch#it's canonnnnn#they're real#they are homosexuals#they are gay#they are gay and in love#soc saturday#the outsiders#the outsiders musical
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