#I ain't never envisioned he would get washed like that
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kyros-tha-soldier · 2 years ago
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Been recovering from the shock after reading chapter 1079. Nobody's character is safe at this point Oda is about to wipe the floor with any character he likes and it could be the character YOU Stan 😨💀
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msbigredmachine · 3 months ago
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Kitty Kat (Roman Reigns)
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After a lifetime of searching, the Tribal Chief may have finally found the woman of his dreams. Post Summerslam 2024.
Warnings: SMUT (yes i know its excessive im sorry 😭)
Word Count: 5.3k
A/N: This got way too long bc I talk too much. I tried to shorten it I promise but I just couldn't. I do hope you like it either way...
Song inspiration: Again - Lenny Kravitz
Credit to the owners of the pics and gifs
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He could get used to this.
As he stepped off the plane, Joe discreetly adjusted the bulge in his pants and exhaled deeply, allowing himself a giddy smile in anticipation for what was to come. 
He couldn’t wait to see her again. His Kitty Kat. The interesting part was that this time, she’d flown him out to come spend the week with her, in First Class, no less. “It’s a five-hour flight from Cleveland to L.A., so I want you to be as comfortable as possible, Daddy,” she’d told him. Never in his wildest dreams did he envision being ‘flewed out’. He’d been the one flying her out in his private jet, chartering luxury vehicles to bring her to him. The reverse felt strange and would take some getting used to, but it did feel nice to be pampered and taken care of for once.
Seated comfortably in the back of the Cadillac Escalade driving him through the City of Angels, he reminisced about last night in Cleveland. It was fun to hear the crowd again, the adrenaline rush of his entrance music blaring all around the Browns Stadium. It was a long absence from wrestling for him, darkened by the passing of his father, followed by the whirlwind preparation and execution of his funeral, grand, exhausting and emotional. Kat being by his side for all of it was a precious elixir he could never repay her for, but perhaps he could start tonight.
His thoughts were interrupted by his phone ringing. It was an unknown number, but against his better judgment, he answered and hoped it wasn’t some weirdo fan. “Hello?”
“You left town without telling me? I saw you all over Summerslam last night!” the shrill, familiar voice responded.
Scratch that. Now he wished it was a fan. “I know I blocked your ass. This is stalking,” was his cold greeting. 
“I just want us to talk, Joe! We can’t just end things the way we did!”
“Ain’t nothin’ to talk about, Ebony. I got the DNA test I wanted. Go find your baby daddy and leave me the fuck alone.”
“Are you ever gonna forgive me? I made a mistake!” Ebony pleaded. “You didn’t even invite me to Sika’s funeral. That hurt my feelings, Joe.”
“Bitch, don’t piss me off!” Joe countered angrily. “Blurting out that I’m not Josiah’s daddy was not a mistake! I also found the messages in your phone, remember? You and your little group chat laughed at me, laughed about me raising a kid that ain't mine!”
“That’s a female ass trait, y’know, lookin’ through my phone and invading my privacy!” Ebony complained.
“You can invade these nuts,” Joe dismissed, “You cheated on me and lied about the paternity of your son! That’s enough for me to wash my hands off of you and that’s exactly what I’m doing.”
For a second, Ebony was quiet. Then, “Let me guess. You’re with that uppity rich bitch. She was at your dad’s funeral, both of y'all looked so cozy in the videos. She's the reason you don’t wanna work things out, right? Weren’t you seeing her before we broke up? Who’s the cheater now, huh?”
Joe scoffed in disbelief. After all she’d done to make his life a living hell, she was still gaslighting him. “We were over long before I started seeing her. I only hung around cuz I thought the kid you were carrying was mine. Don’t act like your whorish toxic ways didn’t drive me into her arms in the first place! You broke us up, so I’ve moved on from your evil ass. Simple.”
Ebony kissed her teeth. “You are so disrespectful to me, always have been. You never cared about me. It was all about your fucking wrestling. You were always gone! I was lonely! I needed you and you didn't give a shit!”
“So that’s why you opened your legs for some bum, got knocked up, and lied that I was the father? You disrespected yourself!” He felt himself getting riled up and had to compose himself. He would not let his ex ruin his day. “Imma make this clear so even you can understand. We. Are. Done. Call me again and it’s my attorney you’ll be talking to.” Cutting off the call, he then blocked the number and deleted it for added measure.
Fuck that ho.
Anyway, back to his girl, Kat. It had been an amazing few months so far with her. Of course, he’d googled her in the beginning, asked Heyman to run a background check to make sure she was legit and not a psychopath like his ex. Katrina Sullivan was one of the most famous music producers in the world and the top executive at her renowned publishing label. She was a big time player in her industry just like he was, a star in her own right, and it was a match made in Heaven.
Not only was she incredibly beautiful, but sex with her was a wild ride. She gave him a run for his money whenever they fucked. She was all about new experiences and wasn’t too prissy to fuck inside a car or suck him off outside a dive bar. He blushed every time he remembered the freaky shit they got up to after his loss at Wrestlemania. Long story short, she made him feel much better about dropping the belt. He loved that she loved sex as much as he did, and if he wasn’t hooked on her before, he was completely addicted after that night. 
And it wasn’t all about the physical. There was an emotional bond they shared, a connection that he’d never felt with anyone else before her. Talking with her felt like talking with a friend. He would unload his good days and bad days on her and she would listen to all of it without passing judgment. He did the same for her and was proud to be the one she learned to trust after her own past heartbreaks. Joe wished he’d had the courage to leave Ebony earlier. Perhaps he would have found the woman who had become his peace, his safe haven, and closed the hole in his heart much, much sooner.
A Google Map search helped him find the best florist in town. The ladies in the shop ooh'ed and ahh'ed over the beautiful bouquet of roses he bought and how lucky his lady was. But he thought he was the lucky one. As he took a deep breath and inhaled the flowers, he felt his stomach flutter at the thought of her beautiful face, her smile, her warm embrace. Joe knew he was in love, but he didn’t quite know how to tell her yet. It was weird enough that he lowkey felt like a thot being flown out. He really didn’t mind, though. All he wanted was to be with her and just be in her presence, in her aura. He would tell her when he was ready.
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Kat’s mansion was the stuff of dreams. Isolated on the hills of the Pacific Palisades overlooking lush Californian greenery, it was one of her rewards as the most in-demand producer in music today. The living room segued into the kitchen, which welcomed him with the smell of freshly cooked food. Pasted to her stainless steel refrigerator by a small circular ‘Acknowledge Me’ magnet, was a note from her saying that she’d just headed out for a last-minute meeting and directed him to the oven where a warm skillet of sirloin steak and seasoned roasted potatoes waited for him. She had also stocked her fridge with his Megafit meals along with C4 Energy drinks and a few bottles of her own branded tequila. His baby was spoiling him rotten and he was digging it.
He first put the fresh flowers in a vase he filled with water before settling down to eat. He wished she was here with him, but he understood more than anyone how busy things could be when you were at the top of your game. He was proud of her and wanted her to get all the coins she deserved. Halfway through his meal, he pulled out his phone and checked on her.
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After dinner, he embarked on a little tour around her breathtaking abode which ended up taking several minutes to complete. Joe had some nice homes of his own around the globe, but this floored them all. The edifice dripped with luxury and was crafted to perfection, just like his Kitty Kat was. He enjoyed the gorgeous city view from her balcony as he sipped on some tequila. Her bathroom was spacious and had a waterfall shower that he luxuriated in when he stepped inside. One side of her walk-in wardrobe was lined with an assortment of brand new t-shirts, pants and dress shirts all for him. Of course she knew his size; she’d ripped his clothing off of him on many occasions. His stomach was doing flips as the time continued to tick by. It was hilarious that the big bad Tribal Chief was acting all giddy at the mere thought of a woman, but here he was, entangled in her expensive satin sheets, counting down the minutes until she was back in his arms.
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The sound of running water jerked him awake. The plane ride must have worn him out more than he thought; he didn’t even realize when he fell asleep. The sky outside was now pitch black but the bathroom lights were switched on. As he sat upright in the bed, something rolled down his bare chest and onto his lap. He looked down and his breath hitched. A sheer, baby pink-colored thong, just removed. Unable to resist, he held it up to his nose and shivered as her sensual aroma filled his nostrils and sent all his blood rushing south. With newfound enthusiasm, he climbed out of the bed and padded over to the bathroom. 
Katrina’s back was turned to him, standing over the tub as she drained the bath. Draped in a fluffy lilac bathrobe that barely covered her backside as she bent over, Joe chose to stand there and admire her, letting his eyes follow the rivulets of water that trickled down her long shapely legs. He trailed his gaze along the backs of her knees and her oh-so-sexy thighs, stopping at her luscious derrière where he found her pussy lips, slick and glistening, winking at him. He groaned out loud at the sight, feeling his bulge stir in his drawstring shorts.
Alerted by the noise he made, Kat spun around and sighed. "Oh, damn," she frowned and bounced her fist against her thigh.
Joe raised an eyebrow at her reaction. “Did I frighten you?”
“Not really. I wanted to wake you up by sucking your dick.” 
Chuckling heartily, he stepped closer. "You still can, baby. Don’t let me stop you,” he said, sealing their lips together in a kiss he’d been thinking about for weeks. He held her tight, molding their bodies together as time seemed to stop all around them. The anticipation had been building all day and just this moment alone was worth the long wait.  
Joe sighed happily against her lips, his fingers massaging the back of her neck. “Mmm, I can tell you missed me. Did you miss me, baby?”
“You know I did, Daddy,” she whispered back. It had been months in the making, but Kat was thrilled that he was finally here in her humble abode. She pulled back to regard him, marveling at the sheer height and width of him, his bare, broad chest showcasing that beautiful tattoo and all those muscles. Fuck, he was so hot. “I saw the roses in the kitchen, they’re beautiful,” she said.
“Not as beautiful as you are, baby,” Joe answered, brushing his thumb along her bottom lip. “How was your meeting?”
Kat huffed and rolled her eyes. “Waste of my time. Don’t really wanna talk about it,” she added, changing the topic to a more exciting one. “You looked so good last night, babe. I could see how happy you were to be back.”
“I was,” he admitted, his light brown eyes lighting up. “Bro, hearing the fans go bananas when my music hit was insane. And all those fingers in the air, too. Four years of bustin' my ass finally paying off.”
“Huh. I had one finger out too, but it wasn’t in the air, and I was layin’ in bed. Naked,” Kat teased, fluttering her long eyelashes at him.
The thought of her writhing around in bed aroused by his show of violence caused another tightening in his shorts. With a growl in his voice, he responded, "Show me." 
“Wait.” She put up one hand before he could grab her. “Before we get started…I never got to ask you because we were so busy with the funeral…But did you take the DNA test?” she asked, watching with dismay as his face fell. He looked away with a heavy sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose, something she learned he did when he was reeling in his emotions. 
“Yeah. Josiah’s not mine,” he replied sadly.
Two distinct emotions of her own rushed through Kat at this news. Relief, that he was no longer tied to Ebony and he could now, finally, move on with his life. Move on with her. Disappointment, on his behalf, knowing that he had enjoyed getting to know the baby boy he’d thought was his child. “I’m so sorry,” was all she could muster.
“Don’t be. At least I know the truth now. I care about the kid, but he’s not my responsibility any more,” he choked out, the sting of losing that sweet little boy still raw and painful.
“Oh, baby.” Kat rubbed her hands up and down his broad back to soothe him. She regretted downing the mood and sought to fix it. “What can I do?” 
Joe shook his head and sank into her embrace. “Just be with me, like this. I wanna be with you. Thank you for bringing me out here, it’s exactly what I needed.”
“Of course. You know I gotchu,” she assured him, butterflies sprouting inside her belly as he dropped feather-light kisses on her neck, trailing along her shoulder which was soon bare as he slipped off her robe and dropped it to the floor. She tugged down his shorts and her hungry gaze zeroed in on that other part of him that she missed. All those FaceTime calls and selfies did very little justice to the real thing. This was his first time on her turf, and she was determined to use this week wisely, especially as this extended period didn’t quite exist before. 
In the beginning, their meetings were brief and eventful, a couple of hours’ escape from the madness going on in their individual lives. Meet up, scorch the sheets, and wake to the sound of the rustle of clothes pulled from the floor, the sharp zipping of bags, quick kisses goodbye followed by the front door quietly clicking open and shut. At each other’s mercy at sunset then disappearing before dawn to resume reality. It was a thrill at first but as time passed, Kat realized she wanted more with him. She wanted to begin and end her days in his sturdy arms. Wanted them to shower together, to eat together and spend much more time together. Simply put, she wanted to be a real couple, and she was ecstatic when he confessed that he wanted the same. Coming to L.A. was a great start and it excited Kat to no end.
Hand in hand, they walked together, naked, out of the bathroom. She giggled as he followed closely behind her, kissing her neck and touching her body along the way. As they reached the bed, Joe noticed the bottle of champagne sitting in a bucket full of ice on the nightstand. Kat read his mind. “Just a lil’ sumn to celebrate your arrival,” she clarified, as he sat on the edge of the bed and pulled her to stand between his legs. His gaze was soft, yet beautifully intense as he ran his hands up her thighs and her hips, cupping her backside and bringing her even closer to him. He pressed his lips to her stomach, adorning her belly with gentle, open-mouthed kisses that felt so good she moaned pleasurably in approval.
“I’m in love with you,” he whispered against her brown skin, his voice clear yet filled with a vulnerability he’d never felt before.
Kat smiled down at him. “Took you long enough. I’ve been waiting for you.”
“For real?” His heart pounding so hard in his chest he was sure she could hear it.
Her smile widened as she loosened his ponytail, letting the long dark locks fall and frame his breathtaking features like the angel he was. Her angel. “Yeah. I mean…After everything we’ve shared, after getting to know the beautiful person that you are, of course I’m in love with you too.”
They were words he’d been hoping to hear from her for a while now, and now that he had, he was robbed of every sensation other than joy and peace and the burning need to make love to her nonstop for the rest of his stay in the West Coast. “You’re beautiful too, baby girl,” he rasped, drawing her back in, “So fuckin’ beautiful…”
They clung to each other, making out with increasing passion, both of them extremely aroused and more desperate than ever in the wake of this wonderful revelation. As they kissed, he slipped one hand over her breast, kneading gently, eliciting from her those purring sounds that earned her sexy little nickname. He missed his Kitty Kat so much. The last time they were together was at his father’s funeral, and he couldn't be with her the way he wanted to be. Now that they were all alone there was nothing stopping him from having his way with her.
But apparently, she had other plans. 
She pushed him hard in the chest, smirking at his surprised grunt as he hit the mattress rather unceremoniously. “Get in,” she instructed him.
He frowned petulantly at her, but did as he was told, dragging himself backwards up the bed with his eyes on her at all times. He felt his mouth go dry as she crawled towards him on all fours like the sexy ass kitten she was. As she reached the space between his open legs, she surprised him by picking up her thong and winding it around his wrists, securing it tight before pushing his arms over his head. 
“Baby…” he pouted.
“Shhhh,” Kat shushed him quietly, thrilled by the submission in his eyes, the surrender in his soft moan, his dick hard and erect in anticipation. Having control over a man like him felt so empowering. Though sexually submissive to him, Kat always enjoyed it when the roles were switched. It never lasted long though, so she planned to make the most of it.
Climbing back down his body, she rubbed her hands on the expanse of his thighs, his caramel skin warm beneath her fingers. She moved higher, coming dangerously close to the pleasure between his legs but avoiding it, for now. She wanted to touch it but the wait was more exciting. Her hands disappeared to squeeze his ass cheeks, and then reappeared over his hips, traveling along the sharpened ridges of his six-pack abs and up to his broad chest. Her body followed suit, sliding up until her thighs bracketed his sides. The little hiss that escaped him as she sat on his torso thrilled her; she knew right away that he could feel her warm moistness against his skin. Her fingers found his nipples next, toying with them before leaning in to lick them, and giggled with amusement when his dick sprang high enough to smack against her backside.
“Fuck, baby, feel what you do to me?” Joe hissed, his cock jumping again as her mouth warmed his neck, nibbling on the shell of his ear as she whispered to him in the softest, deadliest timbre: 
"I’m just getting started, big guy."
Sitting upright on top of him, she reached for the ice bucket, scooping out an ice cube in the shape of an exquisite diamond. The ravenous look in Joe’s eyes matched hers as she sipped on the cube, letting the cold melt on her tongue and travel down her throat. Then, she bent down and kissed him, her cold tongue quickly warming up from the heat of his mouth. The wet muscles moved together in a sweet dance, delightedly intertwining, obsessed with the taste of each other. Kat pressed the ice cube to his chest, giggling when he jerked from the cold, and drew figure eights with it, watching rivulets of water trickle down the sides of his body. She put the ice cube on his right nipple and watched it harden. Then she replaced the ice with her warm mouth on his cold nipple.
“Shit, baby you killin’ me,” he moaned, looking on with hooded eyelids as she kissed down his body. She stopped between his legs, bowing her body in front of his erection, long and thick and hard, precum glistening on his slit. Her tongue darted out to taste it, licking her lips with pleasure. Giving him a sly wink, she took the tip of his dick in her mouth and sucked, winding her tongue around the head like a hungry snake. The moan that escaped his lips was needy and borderline painful, causing her eyes to light up in triumph. 
“When I get my hands on you…” he growled, his expression almost pissed, but Kat knew better. His frustration mingled with his lack of control, control she’d taken from him all day by calling the shots from his travel to the food he ate. The sensual power play continued as she massaged his dick, the thick velvety flesh twitching in her hands as his hands twitched in his makeshift binds. Using the flat of her tongue, she licked up and down his shaft, making slurping sounds that were drowned out by his groans as she spread her saliva all over his dick. She was addicted. He tasted so good and she craved to have her fill.
Putting a smaller ice cube in her mouth, she chewed it, crushing the ice with her teeth. From there, she hugged his dick with her lips, dousing the heat of his flesh with the coldness of her throat. Tiny bits of ice melted against his shaft as she sucked and tongued every inch of him. She could feel his chest heaving and his abs crunching, could hear his strangled moans as he got warmer and got harder in her mouth. He was right where she wanted him. Resting her weight on his burly thighs, she moaned to him to let go, and smiled when seconds later a shout burst from him, his hips arching off the bed as he unloaded down her throat. She drank her fill of him, glancing up to watch the pleasure ravage his huge body, giving a little smile as he floated down back to earth. 
“Oh my god…” he breathed, his body jerking when she pulled away, letting his dick, slick with her spit and his cum, plop down on his thigh. With one more long, soft kiss to his length, she slithered back up his body, pressing her lips to his for a sweet, delicate kiss which heavily contrasted with the heaviness of his dick brushing along her now-wet opening. Pleasing him turned her on in a way her notoriously composed self could never comprehend.
“You came so hard for me, baby. The look on your face was everything,” Kat gifted him a teasing lash of her tongue against his as she ran her hands up his arms to toy with the sheer material holding him hostage. Lifting her body up, she slowly sank down on his dick, a gasp slipping from her when the smooth tip pierced through her soft, slick folds, enabling her to wind her hips to take him all the way in. They both moaned as the thickness of him nudged her sweet spot, coaxing a whine out of her as she wrapped her arms around his neck, wanting him close, making out with him while slowly rocking her body back and forth, grinding her clit on him. It stunned her to this day, how she was able to take him all, his length and girth filling her and hitting her most sensitive spot right away. The power that coursed through her at making him succumb to her will, no different from any pinning combination or submission move, was intoxicating. Her moans and his groans reverberated through the bedroom, the air thick with the scent of sex as she loved on him.
“Untie me. Now,” Joe commanded out of nowhere, the roughness of his tone surprising Kat. One look at the power and pleasure on his beautiful face told her he was not taking no for an answer. Obediently, she  reached up and unraveled the underwear from around his wrists, and she had barely tossed it aside when his hands came around her, finding her backside and thrusting deeper into her. Finally, he could touch her the way he wanted. He loved her ass, enjoyed the feel of it gyrating against his palms. He landed a heavy-handed slap on it, making her burrow her face in his neck with a soft cry, the sound growing more desperate as his fingers caressed the supple flesh of her ass while grinding up into her, making her feel so good.
“Such a badass bitch, yet so weak for me. Weak for this dick,” he purred to her with a kiss to her shoulder. The wicked gleam in his eyes had Kat both frustrated and aroused, but the unmistakable glimpse of lust clouding those eyes showed he was just as weak for her. With every downward motion of her hips, she could see him become more mesmerized, his breaths huskier, his face contorting with unbridled bliss as her pussy squeezed his length in deep, throbbing pulls. Sensing him trying to regain control, she beat him to it, pushing up and steadying herself on top of him. With both hands planted on his strong chest, she adjusted her legs in a squat and began bouncing on his dick, up and down, fucking him, taking from him what she wanted, giving him what he needed. 
“Fuck, that’s it, kitten, ride the shit outta my dick,” Joe groaned, his huge hands now clamped around her waist. “I’m here now, baby. I gotchu. Take it out on me, take all that stress out on me.” It was a wonder to watch her, her knees up and wide apart, treating him to the sight of her moist flesh gliding all the way down his turgid flesh and back up, leaving the base of his dick a wet, slippery mess. It looked incredible and felt even better. “You so wet for me, baby girl,” he rasped, reaching up to massage her bouncing breasts. “I love it when you use me. You love using Daddy’s big dick, huh?”
"Yes, Daddy I love it...Shiiit, oh my goddd!" Kat threw her head back, her moans shaky, her body trembling on top of him as waves of ecstasy washed over her thanks to the orgasm wracking her from head to toe.  
“Unnhh yeah, come for Daddy, come on my dick,” he moaned back to her, his full lips parted and panting, his eyes boring into hers as he watched her come undone. Overcome with passion, he sat upright and tugged her flush against him, his breath hitching as the action sank him even deeper into her. He needed to hold her to him, needed to make her all his. “I ain’t pullin’ out,” he announced, moving her on him again, “I'ma come all up inside you, baby.”
His words sank in, but any coherent answer she had disappeared with another rake of his dick against her g-spot. Wordlessly, Kat snuggled into his warm embrace, locking her arms and legs around him as she continued to grind on him in a deliciously erotic rhythm. Wrapping his arms around her waist, Joe planted a big kiss upon her throat, her jaw, then her lips, enjoying the taste of her moans as his hips rolled along with hers like a choreographed dance. Emotions were high as they joined as one, surrounded by the sounds of the newfound love they were finally expressing to each other. The mattress bounced beneath them, the legless bed rocking in tune with their heated bodies rocking on top of it. Every worry they had was gone and replaced with a hunger and need for the other that they both knew they would never be able to satiate.
"I love you," Joe whispered, pushing her hair out of her eyes to gaze into them.
“I love you too, baby...oh fuck,” Kat panted, burying her face in his shoulder, her hands sliding down to grip his ass as she bucked her hips like a mad woman. Joe moved with her, not missing a single beat. His own release was building fast within him, too fast. The blood was pounding in his head and tightening his balls as her pussy squeezed his cock so tight he was having a hard time catching his breath. They soon realized they were climaxing together, both shaking from the intense, throbbing waves of pleasure. Kat’s toes curled into the sheets as she felt his warm fluid gushing into her pussy just like he wanted, felt his body pulse as hard as his dick pulsing deep inside of her. No piece of music, no music video she created could ever compare to the magic she made with this incredible man, ever be as beautiful as the sight of his face scrunching up helplessly as his orgasm consumed him. So she kept her eyes on him for as long as she could, watching all the emotions sweep his gorgeous visage like an unforgettable movie. 
An eternity later, their movements slowed, their breathing calmed, their hearts racing as one as the world returned to normal. Joe felt light as air as he fell back onto the bed, Kat melting into him with her head on his chest, where his heart beat for her. He was still inside her and she kept him there, wanted to be filled with all his love in the very best way.
“Welcome home, my love,” she giggled, soothed by his own throaty chuckle vibrating against her skin. Her eyes fluttered shut as his lips pressed her forehead. She wished she could bottle the sound of his laugh, the feeling of his soft lips, bottle this very moment forever.
“Glad to be home, my love,” he answered, his fingers caressing her back as he kissed her mouth. “I can tell my time in L.A. is gonna be fun.”
"Mm-hmm. We got all week, Daddy," Kat eyed him with a sly smile, tracing her manicured index finger along his tattooed pectoral, "Like I said, we're just getting started."
THE END.
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A/N: This is the only story I've had the energy to complete. I'd love to know your thoughts!
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prismatica-the-strange · 2 months ago
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Graveyard Flowers | A Few Stipulations
Warnings: 18+, horny Bj, death (obv), depression ment., no smut but lots of allusions to sex. Possibly ooc.
"Working" for Beetlejuice isn't exactly what Rosie envisioned, but things aren't always as bad as they seem.
Picrew
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"So this is it," Beetlejuice motions to the office, "It ain't much, but the guys are pretty mellow, and I like to keep the atmosphere chill."
She gets a few waves which she awkwardly returns.
"And that brings me to the next order of business," He tugs on his lapels, "Your uniform."
"Uniform?"
"Gotta have one."
"Okay... do I get one of those snazzy yellow blazers or-" He cuts her off with a snap of his finger and she feels a gust of wind. When she looks down her eyes do wide, "Oh, no. No, no, no! Beej what the hell is this?"
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(rough sketch)
"That's your uniform."
"This is barely lingerie!"
"Really extenuates your-" She slaps his hands away from her tits.
"I'm not wearing this!" She lifts her arm to try and cover herself.
"Uh, your contract says otherwise," He argues.
He pulls out the document and points to a part of the text she can't even read.
"Give me that," She tears it from his hand, squinting at it until he pulls out supernaturally strong magnifying glass, revealing a tiny illustration of the outfit she's currently wearing.
"See?" He gives her a lopsided grin, "But hey, if you're not feeling it, I can be flexible."
She feels the loose hem of her skirt tighten around her thighs, morphing into a stupidly short pencil silhouette.
"Are you kidding me?"
"You know? I might actually like this better," He palms her ass, suddenly behind her, and she spins around, slapping him.
"I want my clothes back."
"Can't do that," He shrugs, "Guess you're just gonna have to suck it up, buttercup-..."
He gulps when her glaring eyes light up and blood starts to weep from between her stitches.
"You're upset," He says, taking a step back, hands up in front of him, "Why don't we talk this out, I'm sure there's a compromise here."
He jumps when the blood forms and hardens into a straight razor in her hand.
The shrunken heads watch in shock as she strong arm's their boss.
"You want your clothes back?" He snaps his fingers, "There- well... kinda."
She looks down and she's in one of her comfy sweaters and a pair jeans from before she died.
He coughs, leaning back against a table, trying to casually cross his legs to hide his raging hard-on, "'S that better?"
She sighs and nods, the blade in her hand melting back to blood and flowing back into her wound.
"Good. Wouldn't want any little outbursts, now would we?"
She rolls her eyes and crosses her arms over her chest, "Just tell me what exactly you expect me to do."
He huffs a heavy sight of relief and pops up behind her, one arm slung around her shoulders, and adjusting his junk with the other hand.
"Nothin' much," He admits, "Tidy up here and there, take my calls, do coffee runs, stand there an' look pretty. Pretty standard fare."
"So..." She scowls to herself, "I'm your PA?"
"That a problem?"
"Well, it's not exactly how I pictured spending my afterlife."
"Aw, c'mon darlin' where's that smile?" His finger briefly catches her chin, "At least you're not in lock up anymore."
"I guess," She glances around the office.
She always thought once she died she'd get a little freedom in her existence, but this was worse than her job before she was murdered. She wonders for a moment if there was anyway to get a job haunting a bookstore or something.
"That's my girl," He steers her toward the one empty desk unaware of how that phrase would have her blushing if she could, "You can use my best buddy Bob's old desk, bless his soul- hah!"
His chest ignites in flame at his half-hearted sign of the cross and he quickly pulls away to put it out.
His goofy flailing makes her giggle and a wave of relief washes over him.
He would never- ever speak it into being, but he feels a weird sense of guilt over her death. He'd heard her try and call him that night, felt the urgency behind it, and it thrilled him, knowing his fleshie wanted to see him again, but when she didn't follow through he shrugged it off and went about his business.
Knowing she spent most of the last year in her particular torment makes his unbeating heart ache.
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Uh oh...
"Sweetheart," He grunts, tapping her shoulder. She's fallen asleep at her desk with her head on her arms.
She looks incredible sweet and peaceful and... oddly unnerving. He still isn't quite used to her being dead so her still, unbreathing corpse gives him chills.
"Rosie-" He holds her forehead, tilting her head back, but he jumps back when her eyes open, already glowing, and she takes a swing at him with a spectral blade, "Whoa! Hey now!"
She flickers to the other side of the room, her fingers tentatively touching her throat.
It takes him a second but he remembers how her uncle did something similar when he killed her, "Didn't mean to freak ya. Not this time, at least. You fell asleep."
She blinks at him, "I don't know why I'm so tired."
"That'll be the PD's little safety assurance they made me add to your contract."
Her sleepy little confused face is way too cute for a cold-blooded killer.
"To keep you from going off and rampaging the livin' they're insisting you're partially sedated," He explains, "No where near when you were in deep lock-up, but enough to keep you from becoming a problem."
"Well, stop it!"
"Can't do that."
"Why not?"
"Cause if I do they'll put you back in deep freeze."
She runs her hand down her face with a sigh.
"Hey now," He's next to her with his arm slung around her shoulders again, "Don't be so down about it, we can get you a little cot, make it all cozy, whaddaya say?"
She slumps against him with a huff and he stiffens, "Yeah, whatever."
"But until then," He snaps his fingers and suddenly she's straddling lap at his desk chair, "You can always use me."
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?"
"I'd like it better if you were wearing this," Another snap of his fingers and she's back in that 'uniform' as he so graciously called it, and his hands grip the back of her thighs, "That's more like it."
"Beej..."
He hasn't seen her this timid around him since the first time they decided to fuck back when she was alive, and he is all for it.
"Someone's horny," He teases in a sing-song voice, hands sliding up to knead the flesh of her ass. He cackles when she slaps him and tries to wiggle off him, "Careful how you move there, you'll get me all excited!"
"Pig!" She wrenches herself out of his grip, and when she looks at him again his nose has morphed into a pig snout.
"You love it," He snorts. She flicks his snout and when it pops back to normal he scrunches his nose a few times, "Rude."
She just scoffs and walks back to her desk, not bothering to argue about her clothes.
A win for him, that's for sure, but when she passes out an hour later, cheek pressed against the musty wood, he pulls a blanket out of nowhere and wraps it around her shoulders.
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He's never seen a more ghost-like ghost.
For the past three weeks she's been practically haunting the office with her bad vibes. There's being dead and then there's acting like it, and she's been far too committed to the bit for his liking. She won't even snap at him for his risqué touches!
"Alright!" He hops off his desk where he's been watching her unenthusiastically talk to a potential client, "That's it, you're comin' on a job with me."
She somehow looks even less enthusiastic, "Two things Beej. One, if you think I'd ever let anyone else see me in this get up, you're delusional. And two, I can barely lift a phone I'm so tired, how the hell am I supposed to help you on a haunt?"
"Secondly, you're only sedated so you can't break out of the Netherworld, once you're out I can get rid of that. And first off, I've got a few options for ya," He slaps his hand on the desk and motions for her to stand, rolling his eyes and pulling her to her feet when she doesn't move, "If you could play along for just a few seconds that be great."
"Beej-"
"Shut it," He warns, pressing his finger to her lips, but his playful tone pulls a smile to her face.
"Fine," She chuckles, "What kind of 'options'?"
"So glad you asked. To start, we have an old classic," He snaps his fingers and she's back the vampire hunter costume she died in, "Next up we have this little number."
She's suddenly in a black corset and pants get up that's oddly practical for her new boss.
"And lastly," Another snap and she's sporting a black pinstriped, white powersuit not too unlike his.
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"The first one," She says confidently and he pouts, "But..."
He perks up at that.
"But?"
"I would rather wear the second around here its, more practical," She fiddles with the hem of the blazer she's wearing, "You mind?"
"Well, if you insist," He's in front of her now, fingers making quick work of the buttons before pushing the fabric back to reveal the black lace bra he's put her in.
All the shrinkers, who have been trying very hard to ignore this whole exchange, all look over at the loud crack of her slapping him. It's probably the hardest she's ever slapped him and he immediately feels himself start to get hard.
"That is not what I meant, and you know it!" She hisses.
"Mmm... yeah alright," He groans. He changes her back into those tight leather pants and long coat, eyes still fixated on the swell of her breasts, almost like he's hypnotized by them.
"Hey," She grabs his chin and tilts his head up to look at her, "My eyes are up here."
"They sure are, gorgeous," He basically purrs, melting into her hand.
"God, you're pathetic," She scoffs and he almost topples over when she pulls her hand away, "What kind of job did you have in mind?"
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"That's it, sweetheart," He murmurs in her ear, his ands holding her hips from behind, "Y'know you're actually pretty good at this."
"Would you shut it?" She snaps, "I'm trying to concentrate."
"Right, right..." He leans slightly closer and nips at her earlobe, making her jump.
The startle cause a a lightbulb down the hall to pop and one of the window panels she'd been frosting to crack.
"Did you just bite me?"
"Wh-who the hell are you?"
"Great," She huffs, "He can see us now. Happy?"
The three of them share a look and Beetlejuice rights himself and straightens his suit, "I'll take care of this, toots."
"What the hell did you just call me?"
(Smut continuation)
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"And that's when the chandelier fell?"
Beej and Rosie are sat across the desk from Wolf, their clothes and hair still mussed from their earlier physical exertions.
"Yeah, something like that," Beetlejuice shrugs, trying not to grin too hard.
The detective pauses for a moment.
"On the ceiling?"
"She's a freak, this one," He chuckles and Ro doubles over in her chair to hide her face in her hands, "Took me by surprise too."
"Shut up, Beej!"
Wolf shakes his head slightly, "Hell of a way to die."
"Got a hell of a show."
"Beetlejuice!"
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guytheporn · 2 years ago
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