#I Will Write Sasha's kayaking fantasy if y'all want me too

[overdramatic-queer-antagonist]

Sasha James Did Not Know

Hey um??? I wanted to write a Sasha-centric fic and I wrote this???? I’m so Sorry??? 

fic under the cut

Sasha James didn't know she was going to die. How could she? Sasha was a healthy young woman. She didn't do drugs, didn't drink often. The only real danger Sasha was in was those damn worms. That being said, the moment she stepped into artifact storage, she knew she wouldn't be stepping out. It wasn't a fear per-say or a dread, Sasha just Knew plain and simple. She never liked artifact storage. In fact, if Jon hadn't requested her for the archives, she would have turned in her letter of resignation the next day. It always felt like she was playing with something that would be the death of her. Even so, it wasn't anything she had messed with during her time there, nor was it the worms accosting the institute outside. No. She Knew that what was about to kill her wouldn't be something she recognized. She thought for a second that maybe it was Michael, coming for her, but no. It wasn't. That was far too personal. Whatever was going to kill her didn't know her name. She found herself walking up to a table in the center of the room. She'd seen it before and she Knew- no just knew- that Jon had done a statement on it. What was it? Oh yeah, that man's life had been taken over by that thing. Was that it? She did not know, which gave her all the answers she needed. It was at that moment she saw something move out of the corner of her eyes. A stretched, contorted figure that, coincidentally, looked like the man in every photo of Mr. Graham Folger she had been able to find. So she was right. Finally, she felt the fear bubbling up inside her. She was going to die, she didn't want to, but she was going to, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. The was no point in waiting for it to pounce, she decided. She wouldn't give it the satisfaction of terrified prey. "Hello?" She asked, breaking the deafening silence that had manifested in the room. It tried to hide, but if she couldn't run then neither could it, "I See you. Show yourself!" Sasha was not unconscious when she died, but she didn't feel a thing. Not that it was a painless death. Far from it, in fact. But she was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to feel much. She was dying, Dying while her friends were out there being accosted by some worm freak. She couldn't stop them she couldn't save them she- Sasha's thoughts landed on Jon first- well as 'first' as something can be in the split-second between life and death- But she couldn't help feeling sad. Back before the archives, he was so nice. Always standoffish and a bit strange but never as cruel and hateful as he was now. What had happened? Was it the archives? Did he- He was scared. She Knew that, and it made her blood boil. She could have been The Archivist. She didn't think that in a place of jealousy but a place of love. She could have been The Archivist and spared Jon from all that pain and torment that she Knew he would feel. She thought back to just before the Archives. Jon had gotten promoted, and the three of them had wanted to celebrate. Her, Jon, and- She was the designated driver, and to her delight, Jon and- Jon went off ranting about- God, what was it called? Some book he had read and absolutely despised. She remembered laughing at the time, but she thinks she actually avoided it. Then there was Martin. Poor Martin who lied on his CV to take care of a mother who treats him like shit. Sasha felt bad for Knowing that one, actually. There was a lot of Martin tried to hide. Some things she Knew about, like his depression, but others she just knew, he loved tea, and he wrote poetry, and he has a hopeless crush on a coworker although he would never tell them who- Jon of course. If Sasha wasn't dying, she would have laughed. But Jon treated him so poorly. Of course, she Knew that would change, and that those feeling were reciprocated but Martin didn't. Martin and his blind faith that led him to forgive his mother over and over even though she didn't deserve it. Martin, who was so determined for Jon to like him. Martin who would let himself be caught up in a trap that he could see. Making himself suffer so others didn't have to. She remembered their first day at the Archives. Martin was already in hot water with the boss, but he still took his break early so he could drop the stray off at the shelter. Even as he was shaken and terrified that he would lose his job, he just had to make sure the dog was safe. Sasha tried not to think about Tim but this was her last chance and she knew that without having to Know. Tim. Her best friend. Who helped her get Jon drunk, who theorized on who Martin could possibly like that much with her, who threatened to punch Elias's-no Jonah's- sexist lights out for her. Tim and her would stay at each other's flats; drunk, and laughing, and -sometimes- kissing. Did she Know he was in love with her, or did she just know?  Maybe he wasn't and it was just her dying brain trying to give her a little more hope. Did it even matter any more? She was just leftover thoughts. Why spend time focusing on Tim's smile, or how warm his hands were, or how his eyes sparkled when he knew he made a particularly horrendous joke? He always promised that he'd take her kayaking someday. She tried to pretend that that's where she was. Yeah. The four of them had gone on a kayaking trip. Jon and Martin were in one boat, Tim and Sasha were in the other. Jon was rattling off facts about the local wildlife, and Martin was looking at him like he hung the stars. Tim turned around to kiss Sasha and ended up flipping the kayak. Jon and Martin were too wrapped up in each other to notice. Tim was swimming up to them, gesturing for Sasha to be quiet. Quickly he grabbed the kayak and they both fell in and. And. and. and an a Sasha James did not know when she died, and maybe she never will.