#I WAS JUST A LITTLE DUMB WHO DIDN'T HAVE EVEN THE SLIGHTEST INFORMATION 'BOUT HIM /SRSX2 😭

[michellemouse]

"Its._. beæutiful"

??/??/2019

[xenolithium]

Silent Confidence (America & Romano)

Lovino rubbed furiously at his eyes, listening absentmindedly to the clicking of his own heels as he sped off down the hall. What a joke, what a fucking joke. Was repeating itself over and over in his mind. He was the one who put all the effort into that presentation, not his brother and yet no one bothered to let him speak!

He turned a corner, just barely ducking past a startled Tolys as he did so. Continuing to walk, even when the other said something to him in concern for his well-being. Though the brunet didn't seem to care enough to follow, simply letting him be as he tried to find some place quiet to sit and have himself a cry. 

Some people called someone like him over dramatic and over emotional. And he told people like that to shove it. He didn't need to hear shit from those who barely gave a rat's ass about him. 

He swung open a random door with a clack, hoping it wasn't a broom closet as he hadn't been paying attention but luckily it wasn't. It was a small break room that most of the other nations seemed to be avoiding, or perhaps they didn't know it was there. It was decked out with everything one might need to relax for a few moments. It had a fridge, counter space, stove, sink, kettle, microwave, the whole nine yards. In the center of the room, currently bathed in sunlight from large windows nearby was a couple of couches, facing each other on either side of a coffee table. Lovino's eyes froze in their exploration as they landed on a person's form. 

Alfred was sprawled out across one of the couches, his suit jacket and tie cast aside. From the doorway, Lovino could see he was fast asleep. Sunlight dotting his thick blonde lashes and his hand rising and falling where it was placed atop his stomach. He stretched slightly in response to Lovino slamming the door open, but otherwise he remained unaware of his surroundings. 

"Idiot. What the hell is he doing here?" He whispered to himself as he closed the door a little bit more softer than he did when opening it. Walking up towards the plush carpet in the center of the room and plopping himself on the couch across from America. From there he crossed his arms and glared daggers into the sleeping American's face, tears still brimming his eyes as he silently blamed Alfred for all his problems even if that wasn't true in the slightest. He still didn't try to help though!

Alfred twitched again in his sleep, his lips parting to make way for his tongue momentarily before he turned his head towards Lovino and went still. "Where's your stupid brother, huh? The maple bastard. Doesn't he know you're here?" He asked, but garnered no response to no one's surprise. Alfred was out cold and it would take much more than a few mumbled words to get him going again. Though Lovino didn't expect a response, nor did he care for one. "Did he ditch you because you've got shit for brains? Wouldn't blame him, you're a fucking loser." For some reason it felt good to curse and insult someone without having any negative repercussions. It was almost therapeutic in fact.  

Lovino laughed wetly under his breath, "no response? Whatever, I bet someone like you couldn't come up with anything worth my time any way." He swallowed thickly, wiping his tears from his eyes again. "So how was the meeting? Pretty great, huh? It's pretty fucking great that no one notices the work I do!" He slapped a hand over his mouth and stiffened when Al shifted again, holding his breath and cursing himself internally for being too loud. But when Alfred stilled, he breathed a sigh of relief. 

"Don't fucking wake up, you hear me, asshole? I'm not done telling you how shitty you are." This time his voice was a bit strained and muffled by his hand, but it's not as if it mattered since no one was listening. 

He stared for a moment after saying that, his gaze growing more and more blurry as he focused on Alfred's face. His stupid, dumb, beautiful face. Why was he crying? It's not as if it was that big a deal. He sniffled, his chest shaking as his body was wracked with silent sobs. Curling in on himself a little as he let his emotions wash over him, gripping his thighs with his hands until they turned white. 

"Someone like you couldn't do anything, you understand that, America? Nobody notices you, nobody cares. You're just this expendable loser that gets tossed aside in favour of your brother, every single time." He paused to swallow and take a breath before continuing. "Even when you try your best, no one cares. You got that? You got that?" He closed his eyes, taking in shaky breaths to try in vain to reel in his emotions, but nothing of the sort ended up happening. "Nobody loves you…"

When Lovino finally got himself to look back at Alfred, he was making a face in his sleep. Not of anger or hurt, but concern, his eyebrows knitted together as he tried to understand whatever was happening in his dream. His lips parting again as he whispered something. "Don't - don't say that...don't say that. I love you."

Lovino's heart skipped a beat and his eyes widened as he stared at Al in shock, having not been expecting a response, let alone that. Even if the words themselves weren't genuine, they were enough to have him quiet down his sobbing and stare at the man across from him in disbelief. "What?" He whispered dumbly, jumping when suddenly the room was overcome with a loud beeping. 

Alfred suddenly slamming his hand down on the phone next to him to shut it up as he opened his eyes. "Already?" He mumbled to himself, sitting up and stretching before turning to look at Lovino, blinking stupidly for a moment until he realized something was missing, picking up his glasses from where they were resting next to his phone to put them on. He then returned to starring for a moment before putting on his usual stupid grin and waving lazily, "yo, what's up?"

"Don't, yo what's up me, shit stain!" He snapped, Alfred not phased in the slightest by his grouchy attitude as he tried to hide that he had been crying. 

"What crawled up your butt and died?"

"I could ask the same of you!"

"Wait…" Alfred trailed off and Lovino stiffened, thinking for a moment that Alfred had heard all the things he had been saying to him while he had been asleep, feeling almost guilty because he hadn't meant them (not towards Alfred any way.) "I didn't think anyone noticed!" He whined, seemingly embarrassed over something. 

"Noticed what?" Lovino asked exasperatedly, unsure of what the hell America was on about. 

"My stomach really hurt, okay? I didn't mean to." It took Lovino a second to realize what the hell Al was saying, but when he did he picked up the nearest object (which happened to be a stapler) and threw it at his head. 

"You're disgusting! Maybe if you didn't eat nothing but garbage that wouldn't have happened!"

Alfred caught the stapler in midair, placing it next to him with a pout. "I don't eat garbage."

"Yes you do. I see the shit you eat!"

"If you wanted some, you could've just asked~"

"In your dreams, as if I want to smell like a walking landfill everywhere I go!" 

There was a silence between them as the only thing that filled the air around them was Alfred's laughter. Lovi glaring at him while he laughed until he felt something tug at his own lips, rubbing at his eyes as he let the carefree atmosphere wash over him. 

"Why were you crying though?" The blonde male suddenly piped up. This was one of the few moments when Lovino wished Al was actually as stupid as he acted sometimes.

"I wasn't crying."

"Uh huh and the sky isn't blue."

"Don't sass me."

There was another bout of silence as Alfred leaned back and crossed his arms, raising a brow and waiting for Lovino to continue with something more but that never happened. Instead he was met with the Italian turning to look at anything but him. 

"Well it has to be something."

"That something is none of your fucking business." 

Alfred sighed, realizing he wasn't getting anywhere fast and he probably wouldn't be anytime soon. Why did he feel like he missed out on something important while he was fast asleep? 

"Fine, keep your secrets," Al shrugged, Lovino seeming disappointed in the fact that he gave up so quickly but not pushing him to continue pestering him either. "Anyway, our break is over soon."

"That's nice," Lovino snapped. 

"Are you going back to the meeting?"

"No." Lovino turned to glare at something outside one of the windows. "It's not like I'm needed any way."

Alfred blinked in understanding, realizing he was being given a hint here, even if it was small and off-handed. "Who told you that?"

"No one had to tell me."

"So then you don't really know if it's true."

"..." Lovino opened his mouth, but then promptly closed it again. Not really knowing how to respond to this. His lips pressed tightly together as he thought those words over. "What exactly did I do to make anyone think otherwise?"

"What exactly do I do to make anyone think otherwise?" Alfred repeated, raising a brow. 

Lovino barked a laugh, "I think we all want to know the answer to that question."

"Lovino, I'm being serious."

"You're America for fucks sake, what kind of question is that? I'm not even half a country," Lovino immediately argued, making an exaggerated gesture at the blonde male to accentuate his point.

"So? It's not like I'm doing anything different from you in a meeting. I don't get the red carpet rolled out for me, we all sit down and do our thing. Besides, your presentation was really good."

That last comment caused Lovino to grow stiff once more, but this time out of shock. As he inspected Alfred curiously, trying to figure out what secrets he held to be able to know such information. "You knew it was mine?"

"Yeah?" It took Alfred a moment to realize why he didn't think that was the case. "Just because your brother presented it, doesn't mean it's not your work. I can figure out your handiwork from a mile away. I mean you used to work for me, remember? I don't forget that kinda thing."

Lovino was blushing softly, staring down at his hands which were placed in his lap snugly as he took in this information. To think Alfred bothered to remember little things like that about him made his heart feel warm. Sniffling as he relaxed his shoulders and finally felt a little better about himself and what he had done. Because someone had acknowledged it. "Thank you."

"Huh?"

"I'm not repeating myself asshole, open your ears next time," he huffed. "I didn't think you were creepy enough to remember things like that though."

Alfred chuckled, "well, I am. So, since we're ditching the meeting--"

"We're?"

"Yeah, since we're ditching the meeting, how about we stuff our faces!"

"I thought you said your stomach hurt?" Lovino replied suspiciously, squinting at him in annoyance.

"So?"

Lovino stared at him for a long moment in disbelief, before sighing. "Fine, but I'm choosing what we eat."

"Sounds good to me~"

"Anything food related sounds good to you," Lovino spat.

Alfred grinned at him with that wide, friendly, pearly white grin he gave everyone it seemed. But despite knowing that, he found himself attempting to give one back. Even if it was wonky and hardly noticeable. To others he was still mostly scowling, but it was that quiet effort that Al seemed to key in on the most. 

"See? Now you're getting somewhere!" He jumped up and reached over to give the Italian a pat on the back. Which was way more rough than Lovino wanted a pat to be (curse America's ripped, muscly body that he never got to see) and also unwanted. He quickly shoved Al's hand away, glaring at him for suddenly thinking it was a good idea to touch him. Alfred chuckling sheepishly and rubbing the back of his head as Lovino got up and cussed him out under his breath before storming towards the door. America watched him like a lost puppy, thinking that now the whole ditching the meeting to eat brunch was off the table because of what he did. 

"Well? Are you coming, shit stain? Hurry up before I leave you behind."

"I'm coming, I'm coming. Just let me get my stuff," Alfred said, his smile returning, quickly reaching around the room for all his belongings. 

"That's it, I'm leaving you behind."

"Lovi! No, Lovi, wait!" He called as the Italian left the break room. Smirk upon his lips, having completely forgotten the reason he was crying in the first place. Well, not completely, but enough to start feeling good about himself again. Stupid American and his stupid words that always had him feeling better about himself. Did he even realize he was doing it?

---

A random plot bunny that came to me the other day and I finished this morning. I don't know why this specific scenario came to me, but it did lol!

Al wasn't dreaming about Lovi when he said he loved him, btw. He thought Matt was telling him all that. But we can pretend. XD