#I NEED TO SEE THIS ONCE AGAIN IN MY LIFE!!

[cheeseceli]

Skz meeting a pretty fan

Pairing: Ot8!skz × Gn!reader (individually)

Genre: fluff, just a tiny little bit of angst, headcanons

Description: their reaction to meeting a pretty fan during a fan meeting

Warnings: kind of love at first sight trope, delusional, some of them are dramatic, they are all idols, not proofread

A/n: the way it's been over a year that this has been in my drafts | daily click

Bang Chan

He was kinda of tired already so he was zoning out

When he sees you he is like "...oh"

He is so invested in your conversation

If you comment about the production behind the music he will be so happy

Genuinely loves when someone acknowledges his work so his eyes will shine and he will smile so hard while explaining everything to you

He is upset when you need to move on to the next member

Sees you laughing with the other members and he's like 🤨

Wonders what they did that managed to make you laugh that much

Lee Know

He would stare at you

You know when his mouth is open and you can see his eyes shining?

Yeah, that's him right now

You say hello and he would give you his nervous laugh before looking at you again with those stary eyes

I swear he is such a softie

Would listen to every single word that you say, you can tell he is paying so much attention

Autographs something for you and makes a funny drawing as well hoping you'd laugh

Side eyes the staff when they say the time is up

Even when you move to the next member and other fan is talking to him, he would still look at your direction sometimes and get so flustered if you catch him looking at you

Changbin

Starts small talk right away

Will 100% compliment you

You ask him an autograph and he wonders how bad would it be if he gave you his number instead

Like he knows he cannot do that

But maybe if he was sneaky enough...

Doesn't do it by the end but he low-key regrets it for the rest of his life

He will wake up one day after five years and be like "damn I should've given them my number"

And he will make that everyone's problem

The boys can't stand it anymore because they've heard enough about you by now 😭

Convinces himself that he will see you again one day

Hyunjin

He sees you before you see him, so he is panicking

Is looking at the line all the time wondering if you will want to talk to him

Asks han if his hair looks good before it's your turn to talk to him

No but fr, he can't take his eyes off you

When you start talking he is like 😯

You look and sound like an angel, he must be in heaven

Even after the fan meeting he can't stop thinking about you

If he's feeling bold enough, he will definitely flirt with you

Low-key forgot he was an idol and was ready to risk it all for you

Han

Might believe in love at first sight after your meeting

Compliment him once and he will get so shy

Like sir, weren't you the one flirting like two seconds ago🤨

Would feel so betrayed if he isn't your bias LMAO

He has like a minute and a half to convince you he's the best stray kids member and he WILL try that

And he hopes that someone will record his flirty antics and post it on tiktok just so he can find your socials

He will make all the boys stalk the internet to try to find you

"but you can't contact them even if you find their account, so what's the point?" idk bro but he wants to see you again somehow

Felix

SUCH A FLIRT

The moment he looks at you he is already trying to win your heart

Kinda forgot he was an idol pt.2

Except he didn't forget

He just doesn't care

He wants to flirt with you and that's precisely what he will do

Will even flirt through his autograph if he can

Uses any kind of excuse to make physical contact with you ✨

And side eyes the staff when they tell him it's time to move on

Like no it's not??

Seungmin

Actually pretty good at hiding his new crush??

The most normal one out here surprisingly lol

He will be able to cover it up as just "good mood" but let's be for real

It's because of you

Anyways

Will smile so much

If you compliment his smile (please do!) he will get shy but so so happy

Also steals glances when you go to the next member

He'll be talking to the next fan but ends up laughing because of something he heard you say to another one of the boys

The fan is like ?? but Seungmin is able to play it off

I.N

So dedicated to give you a good impression

If you tell him your favourite skz song is one of his solos (or that your favourite has that title because of his vocals) this man is in heaven

Forgot he was an idol pt.3 except he didn't forget

He just lowkey very lowkey didn't want to be an idol in that exact moment

Had it been on any normal occasion he would probably try to charm you over

But this was his job

He couldn't possibly get delulu over a fan 😭 although he was already midway to that

Ends up covering a song you said you thought would fit his voice

Sees the comments of the cover wondering each one of those were yours

Masterlist | you'll probably like: unrequited love

Reminder that this is all fiction, this does not represent the members in real life!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @dandelions-143 @sleepyleeji @jinnie-ret @sheraayasherrecs

Dividers by @thecutestgrotto | Images 1, 2 and 3

[dwarf-vader-of-middle-earth]

What's more is, I'm not sure about anyone else, but my school started enforcing this in 6th grade. I mean enforce.

Beginning in the 6th grade, history class required us every Friday to bring in some news article of a current event, and we began our classes with each student presenting a summary of their event.

Our English class required us to write a periodical weekly on a current event.

Our science teacher required every student to bring in articles each week regarding scientific current events, whether about disease, discovery, developments, etc.

If there was a huge event happening, our teachers loaded the live stream on every classroom computer but kept it silent, just so we could watch as we learned.

And every teacher repeatedly told us, especially our history teacher, it was our responsibility as US citizens to keep up with the worldwide news. No exception. He forced it down our throats that we had to morally throw ourselves into the worldwide happenings daily and that we should all watch multiple news sources. Our English teacher did the same.

And for every single year following until graduation, it was enforced in our curriculum to keep up with worldwide news without any exception unless we wanted to fail and repeat the year since the majority of our grades relied on the homework which, again, was always based on current events.

That fucking term. "Current events". It sickens me. It's legitimately traumatic.

Because you know what happened to every single student in my school by junior year?

We were depressed as fuck without reprieve, unable to even focus in class with half the kids falling asleep at their desks, no one was happy, and literally all of us hated our lives. Many were admitted to mental hospitals for anxiety and depression issues, and it wasn't unusual to see someone gone for days or weeks at a time and for others to forget about them existing entirely because it's a very small school with less than 1,000 kids and you just let shit slide there. And that missing kid was always in a mental health crisis of some sort.

As an adult who's been out of school for 7 years now, I'm trying my damnedest to break the habit of burying myself in the news that my school enforced.

I don't know what's going on at all anymore. I don't pay attention because I need to focus on myself, my health physically and mentally, I need to take care of my sick mother and my father who is getting a hip replacement next month, I have to work and pay off my car repair, I have a life to fucking live.

And that life is not obligated to impart itself entirely unto the worldly events that drain my will to live and cause nothing but depression, despair, and immense sorrow.

People have called me selfish for this. They've called me careless and ignorant, said I'm looking at the world through rose colored lenses.

But you know what isn't selfish? Helping my homeless friend by cooking her meals and offering a place to stay. Translating Spanish to English at the store for customers and workers who don't understand each other even though I don't work there I'm just shopping. Standing by my best friend whose dog just passed tragically from cancer this week. Helping my neighbors clean the fallen branches in their yards because they're elderly and can't do that. Stopping when I see a car broken down to ask if they need a cable jump or tools for repair.

The point is there are countless other ways to be morally and ethically good that aren't dependent on burnout and enthralling yourself in world news. There are ways to help that don't require money and donations, too. I'm disabled on very limited income, and I still do my part without being able to donate.

Give your neighbor a hand. Help that stranger with their car. Give some food to the homeless. Put your old books in the little free library. Be genuinely kind and understanding to folks you come across whether daily or just once in a lifetime. Donate clothes you dislike or no longer wear to the local foundations and drives.

But for fucks sake, stop burning yourselves to the point you're melted wax in the glass jar with no wick to reignite you.

the social norm of “its your ethical responsibility to be constantly aware of, and angry about, every bad thing happening in the world at all times, even if you can’t possibly do anything about it” is possibly the best way I can imagine to create burnout and cynicism and depression in a population, so good job guys

[fucked-up-mover-shaker]

ive said this once and i will say it again, grady is the most nuanced character in KOTLC. Purely from just how he is written in canon- there is so much we can draw from his character with little inference.

On the one hand, you have a walking tragedy: he manifested one of the rarest and most dangerous abilities in the lost cities at a young age, he lost his daughter to her fiance, (if we're talking theory, he may have been in the neverseen), you can't help but feel sympathy for him.

But then- you realize something terrifying.

Gisela and Vespera are right.

Grady is the most ruthless elf in the lost cities.

But he's also one of the kindest.

Despite the danger it poses, he and Edaline adopt the Moonlark, they put themselves at risk. Despite everything been through, they willingly give their love to a girl who needs it. That is one of the kindest acts someone can pull off.

However, as alluded to earlier, there's another side to him. Despite how concerned, kind, and thoughtful he is; he is also vengeful, impulsive, and distrusting.

Let's look at Everblaze again. Partially because it's the best example of his darker nature, partially because I have it on hand right now, partially because it is my favorite book in the series.

In Everblaze, Grady's vengeance and impulse is seen in full. Take King DImitar, for an example. Sophie was going to be taken away; and Grady jumped in. He believed it to be the right thing to do; and believe me it was, but there is a dark tone to it. A feeling of impulse; that he wasn't truly thinking at the moment. And he almost violated the treaty, if it wasn't for the Councillors coming to his defense.

This scene serves as subtle foreshadowing for later and sets up something very important about Grady:

He could kill someone if he wanted to. And he knows that.

But what could push him that far? Well, there is an answer to that, an answer we later find out:

Jolie's death.

When he finds out the true circumstances to Jolie's untimely demise, his sheer ruthlessness is demonstrated. There's a deeper level to this however, it is his underlying fear of being taken advantage of showing to its surface.

Brant took advantage of Grady and Edaline, and that is the biggest injustice to Grady. Because it's what he has been fearing, it's why he had closed himself off to the world.

That fear causes the sheer level of terror that is caused in Grady. Terror that builds into his impulses, which causes him to go out to find Brant, with intent to kill.

That's why he doesn't want Sophie to come with, he doesn't want his daughter to see the monster he was about to become.

The monster he believes himself to be.

It's not just Everblaze, but a feeling that permeates his character and his choices.

His distrust of Keefe stems from two things:

The similarities he sees between himself and Keefe (the sense of humor, the blond hair, and later in the books; the ability of control).

How that, in a way, is all Grady has ever known.

Elves manifest young. Meaning that he has spent a majority of his life being distrusted by his peers, as well as distrusting the world and fearing someone would take advantage of him.

So when there's a talented but terrified young kid that needs his helps; whether through adoption or through training, he obligies.

Why?

Because he sees himself so much in that situation. Because of that deep feeling of kinship, he feels a need to take care of people in that situation.

Grady's empathy trumps his distrust.

And that's why he starts helping Keefe. That's why he adopts Sophie.

tl;dr: grady's character absolutely FUCKS why does no one talk about this???

also he is hotter than hell and i will fight people on this

[fastandcarlos]

No More Makeup : ̗̀➛ George Russell

summary: as he watches you doing your makeup once again, george decides it's time for you to see how much you don't need it

You dropped down onto the stool in front of your dresser, straightening your hands through your hair. You reached across and opened the drawer where your makeup was kept, rummaging through the mess and pulling out the items that you needed. 

“What are you up to?” George asked as he walked through into the bedroom, standing behind you and placing his hands gently down on your shoulders. “I’ve never seen so much makeup in your life.” 

“It’s all needed,” you responded, tilting your head back to look up at him. “I need plenty of it to try and at least look human.” 

George’s eyes widened as you spoke, shaking his head in response. “You must be kidding, you look incredible as you are now, without all of this. This must take an age to do this every day.” 

“It doesn’t take too long, I’ve got quite the routine,” you smiled. 

“I just don’t get it,” he hummed. 

You picked up your eyelash curler, holding it tightly in your hand, turning to face your mirror and curling your left lashes. “What don’t you get about it, George?” 

His eyes studied you closely as you then moved to curl your other set of lashes, fascinated as to how such a simple thing could make such a difference. “I don’t get why you feel the need to wear all of this. I look at you and think you’re stunning, but you don’t seem to agree.” 

You placed the curler down, picking out your favourite eyeshadow palette, opening the lid up. “George, I love you, but I’m definitely not stunning without any makeup on. I’ve got plenty of marks and blemishes that need covering up, I swear sometimes I still have the face of a teenager.” 

George frowned, placing his fingertips underneath your chin and tipping your head back again, stopping you from carrying on with your routine. “You’re beautiful because of who you are, they say it’s what’s on the inside that counts rather than what’s on the outside anyway.” 

“I know, George,” you whispered, “I guess wearing makeup is just like a safety blanket, it makes me feel a lot more confident in myself.” 

“Then I’m going to help you feel confident without it,” George grinned, reaching around either side of you to take out the drawer of makeup. A squeal came from you as you spun around on the stool, your hands reached out to try and grab George but he slipped out of your hold. 

You tried to pick up what fell out of the drawer, knowing you could try and do something with what was left. As you did, George ran out of the room with the drawer, returning a few moments later with a confident smile etched upon his face and his hands free. 

Your head shook as George closed the distance between the two of you, kissing against the top of your head. “Did you really have to do that? Where did you even put it?” 

“That’s for me to know, and you not to find out,” he sung, wrapping his arms around your waist as you stood up. His eyes looked down at you in awe, studying you closely, admiring how you looked without any makeup on. George knew you were mad, but if hiding your makeup was what he needed to do to show you how beautiful you were, then he would absolutely do it. 

Your eyes narrowed in George’s direction as he spun you around, dancing around the room with you in his hold. As mad as you wanted to be, you knew that George’s intentions were sweet, even if he had an annoying way of trying to prove his point. 

“I’ll get you back for this,” you warned, hitting against his chest. “I need to start getting ready, with my makeup.” 

“You already are ready for the day, you look incredible as you are, without needing any of that rubbish,” George smiled, pecking the tip of your nose with a soft kiss. “I don’t want you to feel like you keep having to cover up when you’re so naturally beautiful.” 

“You’re a smooth talker this morning,” you teased, turning yourself around to try and walk out of the room. “I will find where you’ve put my makeup you know; you’re rubbish at this game.” 

George’s head shook proudly back across at you, pulling you against his chest to stop you from getting any further away. “I’m not playing any games; I’m trying to make you see how beautiful you are.” 

Your body relaxed, shoulders dropping as you let go of a sigh. “If I promise not to wear makeup today, will you give it back?” You asked George, smiling sweetly up at him to try and convince him to give you back what you wanted.” 

“You promise?” He asked, eyes suspiciously looking across at you. 

“George, I do listen to what you have to say.” 

“So, you see how beautiful you are?” He quizzed, moving his hands from your waist to brush through your hair. Your head slowly nodded, although you were still far from convinced. Although if anyone was going to convince you, it was definitely going to be George. 

“You really mean it when you say these things, don’t you?” You smiled, allowing George to carry you across, perching down on the edge of your bed with you. 

George nodded straight away, resting the side of his head against your own. “As far as I’m concerned, you are by far the most beautiful person on the planet. I hate the way you always feel to cover up, I want you to embrace you like I do and admire how beautiful you are with nothing else.” 

Your hand pressed against George’s cheek, smiling appreciatively across at him. “I’ll remind you of this next time I come with you to a shoot for Mercedes and you ask them to powder your nose a little more.” 

“I do not!” George called out, staring across at you in disbelief. “And anyway, that’s only because they have the worst lighting ever at all of those shoots.” 

Your head shook as George tried to defend himself, although you’d seen one too many times how keen he was for a little extra help when it came to looking his best on all of his shoots. He loved the attention he got from the makeup artists as they made sure to remove all of the shine from his face. 

“Thank you,” you whispered, pressing a kiss against his lips. “I may not always believe you, but I love having you by my side as my biggest cheerleader, always finding a way to make me feel better about myself.” 

George leaned forwards, searching for another kiss from you. “That’s because you’re perfect to me.” 

“You really know all the right things to say, don’t you?” 

“That’s why you love me,” George giggled, “although everything that I’m saying is true, I’d love to know how I ever got so lucky to find you?” 

“Stop,” you chuckled, throwing your head back. “I’m going to need my makeup soon to cover my blushed cheeks.” 

George’s head shook, “don’t cover it up, I want to see just how happy I make you.” 

“You make me the happiest person in the world.” 

˗ˏˋ 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓 ! ´ˎ˗

[neostellarjpg]

inner mono-dialogue

the more time i spend being davepeta with you the more i realize almost every single problem in my life was caused by my obsession with being this unfeeling cool dude

but youre cool already

like in the way that actually matters

youre chill and friendly and just nice and thats all there is to it

youre shamelessly yourself even if everybody around you is a jackass and gives you shit for it

youre similar to jade and john in that way

i really envied that about them

but its different actually being at the control panel and feeling where that earnesty comes from

it makes me wanna match your energy and keep that pawsitivity ball rolling even if it ends up being weird or cringe or whatever

fuck man do you know how exhausting it is building yourself social hoops to leap through all the time and when you trip up even once its suddenly the end of the world

what kinda dumbass does that its like dealing with life in hard mode for no reward

fuck that noise

i like your way better

Nepeta's heart burns and shines inside you.

:33 < thank you :))

:33 < but you know

:33 < i dont think doing things your way is unrewarding

:33 < its like

:33 < a shield!

Dave scrunches up with discomfort.

X33 < i dont mean that in an insulting way!

:33 < the fact is that shields are just purractical sometimes

:33 < it doesnt make you cowardly to hide behind one

:33 < in the same way that it isnt cowardly for a predator to hide in the bushes when stalking prey

:33 < its just a way to make sure you dont get hurt!

:33 < purrsonally i found shields too cumbersome

X33 < im a hunter after all!

:33 < and i guess maybe the same goes for my personality

:33 < its not really that im purrticularly brave for being myself

:33 < i just didnt have a say in the matter in the furst place!

:33 < honestly if i had a choice i would have loved to be more like you dave

:33 < you can befriend people almost effortlessly

:33 < and its beclaws youre also just a nice person

Dave recoils in surprise, but Nepeta passionately pushes forward.

:33 < fur real! i f33l it inside you! theres a really strong sense of empathy there

:33 < its just like mine! just smarter, and a bit more analytical

:33 < whenever we encounter someone mew, its like i f33l you lock onto them, and you gather so many insights into their purrsonality without even trying

:33 < and you can use that to bond with others without giving every part of you away

:33 < which unfortunately

:(( < i never really knew how to do

Nepeta sours with unpleasant feelings. Your brows scrunch together with both pain and sympathy.

Nepeta has a big and complex heart. She tried her best to keep it from spilling over, but it always did in the end. And it was embarrassing. It was embarrassing when your friends dismissed your hobbies or focused in on your strange quirks. It was embarrassing when they revealed they knew about your crush on Karkat that you'd worked so hard to hide. And it hurt whenever he would say mean things about you. He and anyone else.

But you always puffed out your chest and sucked it up. You stuck to your guns no matter what. Because it was fun! The things you liked, the people you liked, were fun, and they made you feel good. Why couldn't anyone else see that? And why did it seem like they never gave a single thought to who you were?

You curl in on yourself. Your chest hurts. You suddenly really miss Equius.

And you miss Rose. You miss Jade. You miss John and Karkat and Aradia and Tavros and Terezi and all the others. You miss all the people you can go outside and see whenever you wish, and you miss all the people that you have no hope of ever seeing again. You feel the choral echo of all the times you've ever felt this need for comfort, this thrumming pain searing hot inside you, like hunger wracking your stomach.

You clench your teeth. You remember being on your bed, curled in blankets, not having eaten a proper meal in days. You remember holding your stomach and sneaking to the kitchen, turning your shoulder at every step to look fearfully behind you, only for your fingers to falter hopelessly on the handle of the refrigerator, knowing there was nothing for you inside.

You shake with anger. You know that feeling. The feeling of being chased by something much bigger than you, a hulking silhouette of menacing strength following your scent through the thicket. You'd clutched a beast carcass to your chest, barely breathing as you stalked clumsily through the trees, performance wavering from exhaustion and hunger.

You'd almost died. You'd almost died often. And then after escaping death so many times, it one day claimed you. Casually. Unflinchingly. And the world beat on without you, leaving you stunned by your own insignificance. You'd looked out onto every preceding moment of your life, wondering if there was anything to truly be proud of in the face of your friends accomplishing all these fantastical things. You'd felt lonely before, but after that, you were truly walled off from every single person you knew.

And now, despite everything, you're alive again. Twofold, together with someone.

A warmth coats the ache inside your body. The two parts of you swirl together, feeling and tasting each other, trying to understand themselves.

It feels like a hug.

[magicisrealandsoismyally]

Okay, thought we were being like, chill, but I guess that's a kindness only afforded to people you consider to be women, so I'm gonna break this down piece by piece here, a lot to address.

"purposely obtuse or intellectually dishonest"

right off the bat the fact I disagree with you means I'm being intentionally wrong and evil. There's no room for me to be misguided, or making mistakes, or being uninformed, I'm either playing stupid or lying. Got it.

I "either hate AFABs, or don't take harm against them seriously". Once again, another false dichotomy. I take harm against women incredibly seriously, I just don't think the biggest threat to women is trans women. I think we have the same enemies, conservative men in power. I said you were fueled by fear because I was trying to be nice. It's not just fear. It's anger. Misdirected anger. You, and many others, have decided the easiest thing to do is hate.

Yeah. It is in fact transphobic to demand sex segregated spaces given that a true biological sex isn't fucking real. That's why it's "Assigned male at birth" or "Assigned female at birth". I've been assigned a lot of things throughout my life. So have you. Are you going to tell me those assignments were always accurate? I mean hell, with the amount of cis people out there, their accuracy rate is definitely above 50%. Still not accurate tho.

Transphobia is both the people trying to murder us, and the people, who don't want us in spaces that are away from the people trying to murder us. You are aware that the same cis men wanna kill us both right? You've arbitrarily drawn a line in the sand because you are grossly misunderstanding how trans people work. The number one piece of advice I see on this site from transfems, is how to avoid being SAed. By cis men, by cis women, by trans men. It's so common, that it makes me question if I even want to be in spaces with y'all. You wanna talk about fear? I'm fucking terrified. All the time. The instant I come out to the world, I get to spend the rest of my life, knowing that at any moment, someone says anything negative about me? and my life is over. Because people like you, will believe them. Because the scary transfem must be the person oppressing you. Because its easy, to villainize the minority. And it's easy to decide he's a monster. And all the while, she loses everything just for being an easy target.

You wanna talk physical safety? 83% of genderqueer victims of fatal violence are trans women. People love to kill us.

AMAB privilege is not real. I was not socialized male. I think you have a perspective on how the patriarchy functions that hasn't seen the other side of the fence, so let me go ahead and elaborate on that. Being a Man, is something you can fail out of in the patriarchy. It's a club that is nigh impossible to enter, but really fucking easy to fail out. Under the patriarchy, I am not a man. I failed out of that shit at the age of 8 when I said I didn't like sports. When I did anything "girlie" at all. When I cried. I was a crybaby (according to my family) and a faggot (according to the other kids at school). And from that moment, I was a target. Always have been. I wasn't socialized male, I was socialized as a failed man. Most trans girls are treated that way from a young age. I did not benefit from the patriarchy I was shoved around. I have gotten into an absurd amount of fights that I never started because some fucking asshole decided to beat the shit out of the fag. I spent like a week on tumblr before hearing other shared experiences about this kinda thing. Literally not hard to talk to trans women about this stuff if you, yk, try.

"We don’t need to check genitals I would have no problem with the manliest most masculine most passing trans man in an afab space because no matter what hormones or surgery are involved they cannot rape and impregnate me with their penis the same way an AMAB person could."

How do you know he's trans. How. Tell me right now how you tell the difference between a cis man and a trans man with bottom surgery. Do that without being transphobic, please. Find a way. I'm looking for something hilarious to read today, it's been a long one. Because if you don't have a way, your entire transmisogynistic utopia falls apart here. You can't tell if someone is trans. It's about identity. You cannot tell if someone has a penis. No matter what you do. You cannot tell someone's assigned gender at birth.

And how wonderful, you mentioned prisons, just read about this one. Did you know when transfems are imprisoned they get placed with the most violent cellmates? It's a tactic to reduce prison violence. Give the most violent people their own live in target. They get called prison wives. It's called V-Coding. So yeah, prisons are messed up. For both of us. If only we could talk about that and unite to fix that oh wait that's literally the whole point of having transfems in feminist spaces, crazy how that works.

"Also trans AMAB people commit sex crimes at an even higher rate than cis AMAB people"

WHERE IS THE FUCKING SOURCE. I am tired of TMEs and their constant stream of libel demonizing trans women. All of your nonsense statistics is so fucking stupid. Where are you getting these numbers? The sex offenders list? The one that as recently in the 80s included anyone who crossdressed or hit on a person of the same gender even if they were reciprocating? I literally have heard cis lesbians complain about that shit on this site, you're not even being a feminist by citing sex crimes, you're being a cop. Fucking being trans counted as being a sex criminal for most of American history. Drag queens, trans women, and crossdressers get accused of sex crimes all the fucking time, you have no critical thinking god fucking damn.

"which again did not START segregated they became that way because AMAB people could t be trusted not to rape/assault AFAB ones"

Yeah no lmao, (this next paragraph is going to be USAmerican centric because yk, that's what I learned about growing up) they kicked literally all queer people out when women got the right to vote, both lesbians and bi-women had to fight their way back into these spaces in the decades prior. I feel like we forgot about the Ellen Show or smth? Like feminists did not fucking go to bat for her after she came out. Groups will turn on their supporters the instant they decide they don't need them. Mainstream Feminism turned on people of color and queer people who put their own movements on hold to support the women's right to vote so fucking fast. It's American history too, all I had to do to learn this was have a pulse in my US history class.

Also “capitalism is real because it impacts me in a negative way but all other forms of oppression where I might be considered the privileged one in the dynamic is just hysterical people distracting from capitalism”

Girl, reading comprehension, try it out for size. I did not say these systems of oppression are not real. I'm saying demonization and fear of minorities (like, yk, trans women) is a tool of the existing power systems to make you hate us and not your actual enemy, the people in power (like, yk, rich people who are usually cis white conservative men). You keep bringing up how awful existing systems like prisons are but you just, do not analyze who fucking set those systems up. Private prisons are owned by the rich, not by the trans woman you're yelling at who is 4 bad days away from giving up and killing herself.

If trans AMAB people don’t want to be housed with cis ones, they can do the legwork and create those spaces for themselves like AFAB people did they do NOT have the right to commandeer our movement and literally erase our rights and protections because not allowing AMAB people into these vulnerable spaces might give them the big sad.

Okay so first you tell me feminist spaces weren't originally segregated by sex, and now you tell me it's an AFAB only movement? Because I know for a fact trans people have always been at bat for feminism. American white women said the same shit to women of color between 1920-1965. Cause the instant we become expendable, y'all throw us aside.

commandeer our movement

Really? Do you genuinely think trans women could ever outnumber cis women? What cartoon candyville are you from where there are more trans women than cis women? How the fuck are we going to commandeer the movement? We're like, 0.3% of the population at most. What are you talking about.

YEAH MY GUY IM FORCED TO LIVE LIKE A FUCKING PREY ANIMAL!!!

Okay so for starters, transwomen are also in constant fear. We have literally been hunted, this is just, like, a historical thing. Second, I'm not a guy. Don't call me that. You cannot honestly tell me you're not transphobic and then proceed to use exclusively masc terms to refer to me. That's just wild. Playing along with the tranny does not make you not a trans ally. You're still a transphobe just cause you're fine with trans men.

Some fear is completely rational

Yeah. We're both completely justified in our fear. I do not build my politics off my fear. You do. That's the difference. No matter how terrified I am of TMEs, I still fight for y'all. Always have, always will.

Gender is literally fake and varies from culture to culture. Sex based oppression is real and fucks over the lives of AFAB people worldwide.

Ohh, damn, so close, you'll get it next time I'm sure. See the trick is BOTH OF SEX AND GENDER ARE FAKE. Genderqueer people just admit that it's about self expression. You literally just described how fallible sex assignment is by talking about intersex people, it's like, hella cultural. Sex based oppression is real. So is Gender based oppression. Because people are shitty about fake shit, all the time, we're on tumblr, the "death threats over shipping" website.

You cannot tell me you think you're not transphobic and then claim gender oppression isn't real. I feel bad for any trans people who have the misfortune to interact with you. I hope one day you realize you fought on the wrong side of history. And if not? I hope they speak of you in the same breath as the grown adults trying to stop Ruby Bridges from attending school, in the same breath as the cops at Stonewall. You have an excellent day. I probably won't, but what's new. I'm sorry you're so afraid. I'm sorry you fell for it when they told you who to be afraid of. I'm sorry I couldn't do more. If anyone wants sources on this stuff, i'll add links to posts getting into it, a lot of it's screenshots and i'm not about to make this any longer than it is. There's more ofc, but I can only cite what links I have on hand, y'all can do your own research, read like, any transfem blog while they still exist. https://www.tumblr.com/honeylemony/767694258735136768?source=share https://www.tumblr.com/marxism-transgenderism/767536279224270848/okay-ive-said-before-that-part-of-why https://www.tumblr.com/girldogmystic/766813723287502848/i-wanna-get-more-specific-with-this-according-to

"OP is a terf" is a thought-terminating cliche meant to keep you from questioning the status quo and keep you afraid of being labeled a heretic should you come to your own conclusions about anything.

[shouyuus]

sfw; popstar!reader x vi in which u punch someone in face and vi finds that incredibly attractive

"who the hell--"

you pull the door open, rubbing the sleep from your eyes, the thin strap to your pink silk nightgown hanging off your shoulder.

"hey."

you frown, blinking at the skinny man standing across the doorframe, a fist held up as if to knock again.

"reese?"

the man smizes, leaning up against the doorframe, his eyes slicking down your exposed skin like an oil spill. you grimace, rolling your eyes. "you need to stop showing up like this. it's getting embarrassing."

"c'mon baby," he says, shrugging, trying to step into the door, "i know you've been missin' me --"

"uh. sorry. no --" you resist the urge to gag as he pouts at you, "we hooked up one time, and it was a mistake."

"it was the best night o'my life!" he crows, still trying to shove into the room but you narrow your eyes, blocking his path till he sighs, re-doubling his greasy smirk "and i'm pretty sure it was also the best night of --"

"princess?" vi's voice calls out from the bedroom. you sigh, glancing over your shoulder as her voice draws nearer, "what's goin' on?"

she rounds the corner to the hallway and pauses, her sleep-fogged eyes sharpening as she takes in the scene. a beat, and she's sauntering over, slipping an arm around your middle, pressing her chin to your shoulder, brushing a kiss to your cheek.

"everything alright? who's this, an old friend?" she looks reese over once, her expression the picture of a woman unimpressed.

you shake your head, leaning into her touch. "no, he's no one --"

"hey! pft, oh i see -- i leave you, and you decide to replace me with a beefed up enforcer whore -- oof --"

"ow."

vi lets out a sharp, startled laugh, her eyes widening as you pull your arm back, shaking out your stinging fist with a whine, cradling your hand.

"holy shit that really hurts," you say, pouting as vi takes your hand in hers, running a thumb along your reddening skin, her shoulders still shaking with laughter, even as she tries to sooth a thumb over your knuckles. she coos, kissing the back of your hand. you crinkle your nose, "you do that all the time?"

she grins, shrugging, "helps if you've had a lot of practice."

"-- y-you -- you broke my nose!" reese's voice is reedy as he holds his face, a thin line of blood trickling through his fingers, his eyes wide.

"oh shut up dude, you're fine. it'll set in a few days," vi snaps, rolling her eyes as she glances back towards the open door. you glare at reese, reaching for the small intercom on the wall.

"go away, reese. and find something better to do than stalk me, okay? ugh --" you huff, punching the call button for the security downstairs.

"h-hey! you can't just close the door on me --" reese tries to scramble for the doorknob but vi puts herself squarely between you and him, cocking an eyebrow. he falters, eyes flickering over vi's arms and shoulders, his lip curling with fear masked as distaste before he stumbles back, snarling at the pair of you, though the effect is largely dampened by the rapidly darkening bruise at the bridge of his nose and the blood smeared down his chin.

"w-whatever! i d-didn't actually wanna fuck you anyway --"

"oh do yourself a favor and get lost," vi says, slamming the door in his face just as the intercom beeps the life and you let the building security in on the situation.

"your hand okay?" vi asks, though her expression is a tug-o-war of concern and ill-concealed amusement.

you crinkle your nose, clenching and unclenching your fingers, wincing at the soft sting.

"yeah. that just hurt way more than i thought it would."

"aww, c'mere," vi tugs you into her chest, peppering your face in kisses before moves to your hand, laughing as you giggle. "my little warrior princess."

you whine, digging your nose into her neck, "don't make fun of me."

"i'm not!" though her voice is still clearly laced with laughter as the pair of you make your way back into the bedroom, "though, i gotta say -- that was kinda hot. like really hot."

you laugh, letting her scoop you up and press you down into the still-warm sheets. you bite your lips.

"yeah? maybe i should try punching my ex-hookups in the face more often."

vi's lips twitch. "yeah? you got alotta those?"

you frown, your pout returning in full swing, "no! ugh -- reese was -- reese was a very drunken mistake one night okay? we've all made choices we're not proud of --"

but vi is laughing, leaning down to catch your lips in a long, indulgent kiss. when she pulls away, your eyes are dark, your mouth sweet and soft around a half-caught breath.

"you know i don't care about your past, princess," she says, running a thumb along your cheeks, "all that matters --"

"is that you're the only one in my future?" you ask, smiling as you reach up to catch her hand, pressing a kiss to her palm. vi's lashes flutter at the certainty of your words, before she's sighing into your neck, her lips warm against your skin.

"yeah. something like that."

you giggle, head tilting back as she kisses a line down your shoulder. and then you're squealing as she flips the pair of you, settling you firmly over her hips, a smirk twisting her lips.

"though, reese --" she makes a show of whistling beneath her breath, "you were really goin' through some shit, huh?"

you groan, burying your face in her chest. "you're never gonna let me live this down, are you?"

vi laughs, carding her fingers gently through your hair before dropping a kiss to your temple.

"nope. never."

[lionizingheathen]

Need - R.L

Remus Lupin x Fem!Reader

Fucking your boyfriend at a party

Warnings: Penetrative Sex, fingering, unprotected sex, dirty talk, spanking, nipple play, multiple orgasms, smut

Smut under the cut

Your boyfriend had never looked bad not a single day in his life, but something about today was just making you feel feral… Maybe it was the new haircut, the rolled up sweater sleeves exposing his forearms and hands… All you knew was that you could only think about him stretching you out as you stood silently in the corner, rubbing your thighs together…

Fuck it.  You cleared your throat, walking over to where he was caught in a heated debate with Sirius, and tapped him on the shoulder, seeing a wide, warm grin on his face the second he looked up at you.

“Hey, I need some help with something in my room, do you wanna come with me?” You asked, and Remus looked up at you frowning as he furrowed his brows, taking your outstretched hand with care.

“Of course.  You alright?” He asked, and you nodded, squeezing his hand with a wide grin.

“Yeah, I just need you for something.” You said, leading him down the hallway silently.  He seemed nervous, and you didn’t want him to be, but you also wanted this to be a surprise… Well, not a surprise, but you did want it to only be brought up in private because otherwise you were sure that your friends would never let the two of you hear the end of it.

“What’s up?” He asked, tucking his hands into his jeans as you locked your bedroom door behind you before you turned to kiss him, catching his lips in a harsh, warm one, sending him stumbling back as he caught you around the waist, holding you close… You’d been together since you were teenagers, and he still acted like each kiss was the first one.

“I need you to fuck me, Lupin.” You mumbled against his lips, hearing him gasp as he pulled back, eyes wide… But you could already feel him getting hard against your stomach.  He wanted you just as bad.

“Wha… I… Right now?” You nodded as he swallowed heavily, glancing behind him towards the door. “Our friends are right out there-.” You cut him off, shaking your head as you walked over to your desk, facing the wall.

You knew a surefire way to get his head off of your friends and into the gutter.

“And if you’re quiet there’s gonna be nothing to worry about, but I really need you inside me right now.” You rested your hands on your desk, sticking your ass out a bit as you looked behind you, smiling softly at the way that his eyes were locked there, his cock showing through his pants as he shifted around.  “Is that something you can help me with, baby?” You asked softly, and he nodded quickly.

“Mhm, I mean…Yes.  Mhm, no problem.” You bit back a grin at the way that his voice cracked, your heart racing a bit in your chest. “No… Problem at all…” You heard him walk closer, heard his belt unbuckle and his pants unzip.  Once he was behind you, you reached back, blindly pushing his pants and boxers down, feeling his cock in your hand as your mouth watered… God, he was so fucking big. 

It was gonna feel amazing to be stretched out around him again.

“Good boy.” You felt him lift your skirt up and move your panties to the side, letting out a low moan as he spread your cunt, your face burning as you felt his fingers trace over your clit before he carefully slid two inside you, pulling a whine from you. “Oh… Fuck…” You groaned, your head hanging forward as he curled his fingers deep inside you, making your eyes roll back with each thrust as he kissed the back of your neck, his other hand groping your clothed chest frantically… You knew he needed this as badly as you did, he was just better at hiding it… But all you wanted was for him to fuck you senseless right now.

“You’re so wet.” He mumbled, and you whimpered, resting your forehead against the wall as he slid a third finger inside you, making you shiver as you thrust your hips back against him… You didn’t need him to do this, you wanted to take his cock even though his fingers felt like their own special breed of heaven.

“Well, you look fucking sexy tonight… It was… Taking everything in me not to… Jerk you off.” You whimpered, hearing him let out a dark chuckle as he slid his hand from under your shirt to over, letting out an appreciative groan at the fact that you didn't have a bra on... You'd meant for that to be a surprise for later, after everyone was gone and it was just the two of you, but you couldn't help yourself around him.

Plans always fell to the wayside.

“In front of everyone?  Really?” He asked, and you nodded, unsure of why he would even be surprised by that… You’d literally done that a few times before under tables, it always led to some of your hottest sex the second that doors were closed, you loved how hot he got at the fact that you needed him in front of everyone else.

“Mhm.” He leaned forward, pressing a kiss to the side of your neck before he licked up the side of it, making you shiver... He always did the filthiest things before he fucking ruined you, it was one of the best fucking things about him.

“You must’ve really needed me.” Obviously.  Who wouldn’t need him?

“Still do.” You hung your head forward as you thrusted back again, hearing him bite back a moan, his nails digging into your breast before it slid down, gripping her hips.  “Please?” You asked, and he groaned, fingers still fucking lazily in and out of you at a pace that was absolutely maddening.

“Baby, I’m warming you up-.” You shook your head.  You didn’t need to be warmed up anymore, you needed to fucked senseless. “I don’t need to be warmed up, I need to take your cock now, Lupin.” You said, feeling his fingers leave you as you whimpered at the loss, hearing him moan behind you before you glanced back again, blushing at the way that he cleaned his fingers off with a grin on his face.

“Merlin, you taste good.” He sighed, gripping hard onto your with one hand as he lined himself up with your entrance, rubbing his cock up and down your slit in a way that made you whimper as you tried your best not to thrust back on him, but it was inevitable.  You felt a sting on your ass as he slapped it hard.  “Behave, I’m getting to it.” He said firmly and you swallowed back a moan, trying to speak even though you felt too fucking crazy to speak right now… You had to push through that.

“Can’t help it… Need you so fucking bad.” You moaned, and he chuckled darkly, slamming his cock into you in one fluid movement, making you choke on air as you arched your back, shivering against him, feeling so pleasantly full that you could hardly even think straight.

This was perfection, he was perfection.

“Shit... God, you took me like that was nothing." He groaned, thrusting into you at a pace that was punishable, making you feel like your brain was gonna melt out of your fucking skull, a grin settling across your face.

This was exactly what you'd been looking for.

“Made... For you." You whimpered, spreading your legs further as you relished in the full feeling.

“Fucking hell..." Remus mumbled, tugging on your hair before he pushed your head down, your nails scratching against the unforgiving texture of the desk.

There was no reprieve from the pleasure that you were feeling right now.

“Oh Remus, harder!  Harder, please.” You groaned, feeling his large hand press your cheek down against the chest as he snapped his hips quicker, your thighs trembling at his brutal pace as he grunted, his free hand slapping your ass hard.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking filthy, babe… Take my cock so well.” He mumbled, and you nodded, tears stinging the corners of your eyes as you gasped, the hand that had been on your ass snaking around to rub at your clit, all of your common sense leaving you as you let out a loud moan, feeling yourself hurdle towards your orgasm.

“Remus… Baby… I…” You gasped, feeling him tigthen his teeth on your shoulder, his arms wrapping tight around your waist to fuck into you even harder, pushing your breath out of you each time, holding you up as you fought the urge to collapse.

“You gonna cum, princess?” You nodded frantically, nails digging down your wall as you swallowed back a cream. “Cum all over my cock.” That was all it took for you to cum, trembling and shaking, all over him.

He didn’t slow down for a second.

It was perfect.

“Oh… Fucking hell… Ah…” You let out a breath of relief, seeing a calculated look in Remus's eyes... You weren't done. “Remus-.” He scooped you up, tossing you down on your back on the bed before he nudged your thighs open again, thrusting deep inside you again, the change of angle making you tremble. “Fuck.”

“I’m not done with you yet, still gotta fill you up.” He grunted, pressing your wrists against the bed as he fucked quickly into you, your legs over his shoulders as you arched your back, swallowing heavily as you tried to fight against the urge to scream his name, body awash with overstimulation, not that he seemed to care.

You loved when he got like this, when he was so focused on his orgasm that you became nothing but a cocksleeve for him to fuck.  You let out a cry, feeling his hand tighten over your mouth before he dropped it again

“Shut up, someone could hear… Just take my cock.” He mumbled, and you nodded mindlessly, mouth dropped open as he pushed your top up, grinning cruelly as he rolled one of your nipples between his fingers, making you let out a high moan as you tried to fight the touch but failed.

When had he even lifted his hand in the first place? Your brain was not working.

“Yes… Sir… Fuck….” You moaned, your breath leaving you in heavy gasps, shuddering as you felt yourself nearing another orgasm.

“Fuck, you feel so good.” He groaned, and you nodded, a smile settling on your face as you dug your nails into his back, urging him to go faster.

“You… Too…” His expression shifted slightly as he furrowed his brows, his jaw dropping open.

Close?

“Gonna… Gonna cum.” He grunted, and you nodded... You were right behind him, and you needed to cum with him.

“Please-.” His pace increased impossibly, turning your words into a shriek that he couldn't have covered even if he wanted to... There was no way that everyone didn't know what the two of you were doing right now, but you didn't care.

“Take it, fucking take it.” His pace became erratic, hard and fast and uneven before he paused deep inside you, making you whimper. Cum in me. Please. “Fuck… Shit…” You came wordlessly as you felt his cock fill you up, the perfect end to a perfect session.

“Fucking hell…” You gasped, coming down from your orgasm as he slowly pulled out of you, collapsing next to you.

“That was fucking perfect.” He pressed a soft kiss to your lips, pulling you into his arms for a moment. “You are perfect.” He said, letting you go when you squirmed away to get more breath.

You wanted to be in his arms, but you needed to recover first.

“Mmm… You too…” You worked hard to get your breath under control before you rolled over to look at him, placing your hand on his lower stomach... People were probably wondering where you guys were by now. “We should get back out there.” You said, and he frowned, shrugging.

“Why don’t we just take a couple more minutes?” He asked, and you smiled softly, tracing over the scars on his cheek as you did... Your handsome boy.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He pulled you in with a sigh, pressing a kiss to the top of your head as you burrowed into him.

Perfect.

[bekolxeram]

Everyone decides to be sad about Tommy spending the holidays alone today. I just want to say, I hate you all. Especially @mmso-notlikethat with this post. As payback for making me cry my way into insomnia, I wrote this on my phone instead of sleeping.

By the time he knocks on the door, Tommy still has no idea what to expect. “Wear something nice, we’re celebrating tonight,” that’s the only instruction he’s received from Evan, his boyfriend once again. Tommy can’t help but smile at the mere thought of finally allowing himself to say that name.

He has a burgundy dress shirt on with a pair of light grey slim fit pants. Simple, but elegant, hopefully properly dressed for this undisclosed commemoration. March is not known for its holidays, so what’s the occasion that calls for such festivity? They did meet last March at the cruise ship rescue, maybe that was it? Or perhaps Evan is having some sort of career advancement? They’ve been back together for just a few weeks, there’s simply not enough time for Tommy to catch up on Evan’s ever so eventful life. To that, Tommy silently mourn the time they’ve lost, due to his own cowardice.

“Hey — Hey,” Evan takes a step outside of the door to greet Tommy with a quick peck on the lips. Tommy lets the younger man drag him into the loft without much reaction, because he’s still confused by the sight in front of him: Evan in his usual navy blue button up, dark jeans and… a Christmas hat?

Inside the loft is a jumble of sparkly festive decorations. To his left, he sees “Happy Birthday Tommy”; to his right, “Merry Christmas”; and deeper into the living space, “Happy New Year”.

“Jee and Mara helped setting these up,” Evan says while taking half of a roast turkey out of the oven. “This one is from Bobby. He said half a bird is enough for the two of us, if we don’t want to suffer through leftover for the next 7 days.” He then sets the tray next to some roasted vegetables and a casserole. “The casserole is from Chimney, but I’m pretty sure it’s Maddie’s recipe. Hen got you a cake. I think she said something about being sure you would like it. We can have it for dessert. Oh, and the champagne is from…”

“Eddie, because he can’t cook.” Tommy cuts in.

“Exactly!”

“Evan, what’s going on here?”

Evan steps closer, taking both of Tommy’s hands into his own, “You told me the other day that you spent your 40th birthday alone… I only realized later that you were probably on your own for the entire holiday season, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Valentine’s Day. I know it doesn’t come close to the real thing, but I was thinking maybe we could make up for a few key moments that we missed.” He dims the lights in the loft with a remote control and fiddles with something on the dining table. Suddenly, the whole room is lit up with colorful patterns and twinkling stars. “I couldn’t get any firework around here, so I borrowed this star projector from Christopher.”

“Oh… Evan,” Tommy sighs, eyes already hazy with tears.

“I’m not asking you to move in with me or to make major commitments. I’m not asking for anything in return at all. This is… a promise, from me to you. No matter what happens, what becomes of us in the future, I’ll be there when you need me, we all will.”

Evan says earnestly, with utmost conviction in his tone. The clarity in his eyes reminds Tommy of that day at the café terrace, almost a year ago. “I just want you to know, Tommy, you’re no longer alone.”

A few drops of tears escape Tommy’s eyes, but before he can respond, Evan pulls out a mistletoe from his pocket and dangles it over their heads.

“You have to kiss me now.” Evan says with a cheeky grin. Tommy waits no time to capture those smiling lips with his own, kissing him with all the love and gratitude in his heart.

“I love you, Evan. I’m so lucky to have you.” Tommy pulls him into a warm embrace.

“I love you too.” Now it’s Evan’s turn to tear up.

Tommy pulls back a little and asks, “hey, would you mind if we celebrate Valentine’s Day first?”

“Oh, you mean you’re interested in the Valentine’s Night activity?”

“Depends on what you have in mind.”

“Come upstairs. I’ll show you.”

[thememestrider]

40k Sfw Alphabet - Sanguinius

Thanks for all the love my first one of these has been getting! It's now, like, my second most liked/reblogged post. So, again, thank you guys so much!!

By popular demand, my next primary is the glorious hawk boy himself, Sanguinius.

Please enjoy (and watch out for errors cause this is unedited)

A - Affection (How affectionate are they? How do they show affection?)

Sanguinius is VERY affectionate, both physically and verbally. In public, in private, doesn't matter. Wherever you two are, he's whispering sweet nothings in your ear or ensuring he's got a hand on you. Part of it is to be a tease, but most of it is for his own comfort. He always wants to know you're close. Always wants you to know how important you are to him. If he's in particular need of this reassurance, he might drape a wing over your shoulder or around your waist, just for that extra bit of physical touch.

B - Best friend (What are they like as a friend? How would the friendship start?)

Aside from Vulkan, Sangy is about the easiest person to be friends with. He's charismatic, he's well-adjusted and he's genuinely a really sweet dude. But to be best friends with him, that might take more time. See, Sangy is used to people befriending him because of what he is- the Great Angel, the perfect primarch- and not necessarily because of who he is. So, even with friends, he maintains his angelic mask, and he will be resistant to letting it slip. Given enough time, however, I can see him feeling comfortable enough around you that he feels he can be himself, and maybe even share some of the darker things he deals with.

C - Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

Sanguinius-cuddles are about the only thing that rival Vulkan-cuddles, if not exceeds them. If he could swallow you up with his arms alone, he would. At times, you might have to ask him to let up a little, lest you suffocate from his grip.

Sanguinius absolutely makes use of his wings with cuddles, too. Like a pair of enormous downy blankets, he will encase you in them, humming contentedly as he feels you stir against their feathers.

D - Domestic (Do they want to settle down? How are they at cooking and cleaning?)

Sanguinius is definately the type to want to settle down. He wishes a life where he doesn't have to live up to the expectations of the Emperor and mankind as a whole. A life where he can just... live.

And doing so with the person he loves most? That's just about the perfect dream.

E - Ending (If they had to break up with their partner, how would they do it?)

If Sangy is breaking up with you, he's letting you down gently. He's explaining how he feels and trying to keep you from blaming yourself. Trying to remain friends would be too painful for him, though, and I believe once you two parted ways, you wouldn't see much of each other again.

Now, if you broke up with him, it's a slightly different story. Others have already head canoned that beneath the surface, Sanguinius has a possessiveness streak, and I believe that a break up he did not want would absolutely trigger that streak. He'd never hurt you, nor intentionally do anything to cause you distress or torment. But you're never leaving his sight, whether you know he's there or not. And Emperor help any man who tries to touch you- consensually or otherwise.

F - Fiancé (How to they feel about commitment? How quickly would they want to get married?)

With his powers of foresight, Sanguinius probably knew you'd be the one he'd marry the moment he laid eyes on you. So, with that in mind, he would want to rush things at all. He knows how this is going to end, so he's going to enjoy every moment of it: from the awkward first dates right up until he buys your ring.

G - Gentle (How gentle are they? Both physically and emotionally?)

Only primarch more gentle in both regards is Vulkan.

H - Hugs (Do they like hugs? How often do they do it and what is it like?)

Much the same as cuddling. Super crushing, super loving, and making good use of those big beautiful wings.

I - I love you (How fast do they say the L-word?)

It would take a while, I think, purely because before he were to say it, Sanguinius would need to realise that he doesn't have to maintain the facade of perfection when he's with you. I see that taking a long time. But once he does realise this... Oh boy, you're getting the confession and the proposal all in the same say.

J - Jealous (How jealous do they get? What are they like when they're jealous?)

Sanguinius trusts you with every ounce of his soul. He knows you are his and that he is yours, and he knows that he will never have to worry about you betraying him.

However...

As mentioned back in E, I am part of the group that head canons that Sanguinius has a secret, buried possessive streak. He is aware of it, he strives to keep it under control, and nine times out of ten he is successful. But he is not always successful. And when he is not successful, the most common way his possessiveness shows itself is jealousy. Are you being particularly friendly with one of his brothers? He may intervene. One of your male friends embrace you for just a little too long? Sanguinius will be glaring daggers at him, might even bare his fangs. This behaviour is worse when he's feeling particularly insecure, or if the stress and grief of war is getting to him. But as I said before, he's aware of this, and he will communicate with you exactly how he's feeling and what he needs from you in terms of support.

K - Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

Depending on the mood and what both your desires are, Sanguinius kisses range from gentle and sweet all the way up to intense, getting-your-lip-bitten, can't-breathe-cause-he-won't-let-you-go passion. With Sangy, you get the best of both worlds.

L - Little Ones (How are they around children?)

Only primarch better around children than Sangy is Vulkan. Enough said.

M - Mornings (How are morning spent with them?)

Sleepy, I think. One, because Sanguinius loves nothing more than lying in bed and holding you close to him like a teddy bear; and two, because sleeping while wrapped in his wings is so damn comfy, why would you ever wanna get up?

N - Nights (How are nights spent with them?)

Depending on the mood, ranging from cuddle sessions that lead to you both falling asleep in each other's arms, to make-out seshs that led to said cuddling sessions, all the way up to... well, this isn't the nsfw alphabet, so I'll let you guys... you know...

O - Openess (When will they start revealing things about themselves? Do they reveal things slowly over time or all at once?)

At first, getting Sanguinius to open up is like trying to pry open a steel crate with your bare hands: fucking difficult. He's the Great Angel, after all; perfection doesn't even begin to describe the expectations he has to live up to, let alone those that he holds himself to personally. So getting him to divulge how he really feels or that, under the surface, he's struggling under all that weight? Yeah, I don't see that being easy. However, when Sanguinius DOES finally trust you and he realises he loves you, it'll be like opening the proverbial floodgates. For the first time in his long life, Sanguinius has someone he can admit his flaws to and they will love him all the same: he's going to make use of that and he's going to cherish that. Right up until his last, dying breath.

P - Patience (How easily are they angered?)

Sanguinius has all the patience in the world for you. However, if he's particularly stressed or the Red Thirst is gnawing at his mind, I can see it suddenly becoming very thin. He would deeply regret anything hurtful he ever said in these moments, though, and would go above and beyond to make it up to you.

Q - Quizzes (How much would they remember about you? Do they remember every little detail or do they forget the minor things?)

Every little detail he has committed to memory. How you look, what you like, all the memories you've made together. You can bet your bottom dollar that, when he lay dying at Horus' feet, he was flashing back to every single second he spent with you.

R - Remember (What's their favourite memory of the relationship?)

The moment he realised he could be himself with you, Red Thirst and all. It's the moment he realised why he'd forsee you to be his soul mate- because you love him for him. All of him. Every perfect curve and jagged edge. For both the angel and the beast.

S - Security (How protective are they? How would they protect you? How would they like to be protected?)

Part one isn't even a question. The mere possibility of you coming to harm is enough to get his Red Thirst raging. And if something actually DID happen to you? Emperor help whoever or whatever was responsible.

Much like all of the primarchs honestly, the kind of protection Sanguinius needs from you is the emotional kind. He needs someone with whom he does not have to maintain the facade of the Great Angel. He needs someone who sees him for what he is: a man. A man with demons that he needs help in fighting. He's not an "I fix can him" type beat like some of his brothers (cough cough, Konrad, cough, cough). More "he can fix himself with your support."

T - Try (How much effort do they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts and everyday tasks?)

U - Ugly (What would be some bad habits of theirs?)

He's putting in the whe nine yards: whatever that means for you, Sanguinius is doing it. Even if he's distracted by war, taking care of you is his number one priority.

Aforementioned possessiveness. Another could be emotional guardedness, at least in the beginning of your relationship.

V - Vanity (How concerned are they with their looks?)

Only in terms of wanting to impress you or make you happy. I could also see Sanguinius having a real thing about his wings: constantly preening them, always wanting to ensure his feathers are all nicely aligned and smoothed down. Couldn't tell you why I think this, just feels right to me idk.

W - Whole (Would they feel incomplete without you?)

Absolutely.

X - Xtra (A random head cannon for them)

In the wake of Sanguinius' death, the Blood Angels see you as his successor. In their eyes, you are their Primarch now, in all ways other than literally. They revere you the way they do their father. They hold your word above any commander or high lord, even on matters that, by rights, you should have no say in. They'd also see you as their matriarch. Their mother. And as such, many of their warriors would confide in you the same way one would with a trusted maternal figure. I can see you becoming an emotional rock for a lot of them- not just collectively, but individually, as well. So much so, I could even see your presence and/or intervention being a kind of soother of The Black Rage. After all, the only thing strong enough to pull a Blood Angel free from the grief of his father's death is the love of his mother.

As mentioned above, Sanguinius' death was a loss so devastating to the Blood Angels' collective psyche that it spawned a literal curse of madness within the legion. So you can bet everything that the Blood Angels aren't letting you out of their sight. If you thought the Salamanders were protective... you ain't seen nothing yet.

You go nowhere without an entire Astartes squad by your side; as well as snipers lining your route/location and an entire strike cruiser in orbit over the planet you're currently on. They'd probably give you your own set of armour, too, designed by the Blood Angels' own artists before being crafted by their own weaponsmiths.

Y - Yuck (What are some things they wouldn't like in a partner, or in general?)

In general, a lack of empathy and arrogance. I could also see him really not liking someone who does not or cannot recognise their own flaws and shortcomings, what with how massive of a focus self-improvement and self-awareness is to the culture he fosters within the Blood Angels.

Z - Zzz (What are some sleeping habits of theirs?)

You're getting wrapped in the wings. Even if it's sweltering hot outside, Sanguinius is cuddling you right up under his wings like a mama bird with her chick. He'll stop if you ask, of course, but you WILL have to ask.

Tags: @solspina @beckyninja

[creamflix]

cw: reader death (multiple lives) but no explicit detail, my take on choso being a "curse"

choso had lived countless lifetimes, yet each felt like the same endless thread, woven with anguish and stitched with your face. the curse of memory clung to him like a shadow, unrelenting, never allowing him to forget. you were his constant, the cruel anchor to his torment, and each meeting was a bittersweet agony.

he remembered the glint of lantern light catching in your eyes, the sound of your voice weaving tales that charmed the village children.

always, he was the nameless, brave warrior in your stories, an unsung hero battling the darkness. choso had sat in the corner of the shrine one evening, his heart tight as he listened to your laughter.

“the warrior was so brave,” you said, your voice soft yet filled with admiration, “but he was lonely, wasn’t he? perhaps he needed someone to fight for.”

your words cut deeper than any blade. how could he tell you that it was you he fought for in every story? how could he explain that your imagined warrior was more real than you knew?

when the first frost of winter came, you fell ill. no offering to the gods, no prayer whispered under his breath could save you. he stayed in the shrine long after, staring at the empty space where you used to kneel, his fists clenched in helpless rage.

a lifetime later, he found you behind the heavy silk curtains of a grand throne room, a princess wrapped in gold and duty.

yet, it was your laughter, still as bright and free as ever, that made him weak. you would sneak out with him, skirt hitched just high enough to avoid the dew-laden grass, your hand clutching his as if the world didn’t matter.

“do you think i could run away?” you whispered once, your voice trembling with the weight of your station. “live out there? with you?”

“don’t,” he muttered, his jaw tightening. “don’t say things like that.”

but in his mind, he dreamed.

he dreamed of fields without boundaries, of nights without watchful eyes. it was an illusion that shattered when a marriage was arranged for you. he stood among the onlookers at your wedding, hidden behind a pillar, his heart burning as you smiled at another man.

your laughter was different this time — huskier, laced with the clinking of shot glasses and the hum of an out-of-tune piano. in the dim haze of the saloon, you played for a crowd that never seemed to appreciate your talent. but choso lingered, always. he would drop coins into the glass jar on your piano and request the same song every time.

“you like this one?” you’d ask, leaning closer with a teasing grin. “i’d think a man like you would want something faster.”

“it’s perfect,” he said, his gaze steady on yours. “play it for me again.”

you didn’t live long in that life either. a stray bullet during a brawl cut your song short. choso held your hand as you bled out, your voice fading like the final note of a melody. “don’t… let me go,” you had whispered.

but he did. again.

bright lights, neon signs, and synth music — this life was so different, yet you were still you. your smile was framed by pink lipstick and bubblegum, your hair teased high with streaks of color. choso sat in the corner booth every day, ordering the same milkshake just to see you glide over on those ridiculous skates.

“strawberry again?” you teased one day, spinning effortlessly to set the glass in front of him. “you know, for a guy like you, i’d expect something a little darker.”

he almost smiled. almost. “it’s not about the drink.”

“oh?” you leaned closer, resting your chin on your hand. “what’s it about, then?”

you. but the word stayed caught in his throat.

instead, he watched as you laughed, skating off to the next customer, always just out of reach.

now, in this life, he saw you again. modern clothes, a phone in your hand, but the same soul burning behind your eyes. you didn’t recognize him, of course.

you never did.

but he felt his chest tighten as he stood in the shadow of a crowded street, watching you smile at someone else.

“you’re cruel,” he whispered, his voice heavy with despair. “how many times do i have to lose you?”

your laughter floated through the air, untainted by the burdens of memory. you didn’t know the weight you carried for him, how many times he had watched you fade, how many times he had buried his heart.

for a moment, he let himself step closer, close enough to feel the warmth of your presence. when you turned, your gaze swept over him without recognition, and he felt his chest shatter.

“do i know you?” you asked, your head tilted in polite curiosity.

he swallowed hard. “no,” he said finally, forcing himself to step back.

“but i know you.”

this concept was inspired by my immortal lover sukuna post, which is a lot more soft than this one, if you wanna read that. thanks for reading 'till here <3 produced by creamflix on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not copy, steal, modify, repost — support your writers by liking and reblogging. ♡

[josephquinnswhore]

where you go, I go - stalker joel miller x female reader AU.

summary: joel hasn’t been the same since ex his wife abandoned him and his daughter, but he’s been watching you for months.. you’re the perfect replacement.

word count: 1.1k

content warning: extreme stalking, harassment, unhealthy infatuation, murder, brief mention of potential kidnapping, unhealthy idealism, manipulation, gaslighting.

Today was really not the day for this, your complete lack of intolerance to bullshit had reached its capacity.

But this had been happening every attempt for the past week, a relatively new and frankly.. abruptly confusing issue.

The button on your key fob for your car makes the indicators flash orange each attempt to pry the boot open. With a click or the button, it’s supposed to open the boot automatically.

But your car doesn’t do that, no. It insists on a one armed wrestling match while you have to click the button simultaneously.

Thanks to Joel, the man that has been absolutely infatuated with you for months, since you’d hired them for a minor job, just a custom order bookshelf. Not something the men would typically accept but Joel was absolutely infatuated with you.

Since then he hadn’t ever been far from where you were. Even if that meant showing up to your house at night and sabotaging apart of your car.

It’s hot out. These Texan summers were no joke and with no breeze, the beads of sweat meticulously lined upon your forehead, not one inch of it wasn’t covered in sweat.

“Come on!” With a grunt of frustration, you attempt to wrestle the boot open again, pushing it down to try and get the latch unstuck.

He watches on as you struggle with the boot of your car for the third time this week alone, how you managed to live your life without a man to take care of you was a real mystery to him.

As amusing as it is to watch you struggle, he figures he needs to approach before some other man offers a helping hand. The last thing Joel needs is to bury another goddamn prick on your behalf. You should be thanking Joel, really.

But he understands, you don’t know. You’re vulnerable, completely none the wiser to the fact that a man that mowed your lawn once a fortnight, had managed to peep through your bathroom window and caught a glance of your bare skin while you were showering.

Unaware that anyone was watching you groan again in frustration, about ready to pull your hair out. “Why the hell is this happening to me today?!”

“Excuse me, miss?” A well recognised Southern, Texan accent calls out to you with a hint of amusement and curiosity. Turning around, the man was closer than you’d expected.

“You need something?” Perhaps you were snappier than you should’ve been, and he raises a singular eyebrow at you.

“I’m sorry. I just.. need help with this. Pain in the ass. I have cold stuff and it’s hot as shit out here!” You ramble incessantly to the man who just tilts his head.

As he steps forward. “Mind if I give it a try?”

“Good luck to you—“ before you could even finish the scornful sentence the boot was open.

“How did you do that?” Disbelief wavering in your tone.

He shrugs, folding his arms over his chest, the shirt tightens and the muscles in his arms bulge. A fitting distraction to keep your eyes away from the fact that he had just sneakily attached a tracking tab onto your car. Underneath the number plate.

Now, he already knew your home address. But he had to make sure that you weren’t seeing anyone.

You were certain he had caught you staring. “These older models have a few minor issues, I learnt that working on my own truck, I suppose.”

Now that were true. But he wouldn’t really tell you the reason he knew how to fix this particular issue.

“What’s your name anyway?”

He starts packing your groceries into the now open boot, a few bags in each hand at a time.

The veins in his forearms protrude out of the skin.

“Joel. Joel Miller.”

Once he’s finished packing your groceries away, he closes the boot. “Shouldn’t have no more issues with it.”

You raise a brow. “You’re not gonna ask my name?”

He doesn’t want to, because he already knows it.

He almost laughs, almost. “What is your name, miss?”

When you reply with your name, he doesn’t at all seem phased, which was odd. “You kinda look familiar, actually.”

He keeps a calm expression, looking around the carpark as he gives a warm smile. “I live around here. Do contracting for a lot of houses around town.”

He could’ve felt his gut drop in that moment, maybe you’d figured him out. Perhaps you were about to call him out on what he’s been doing, sneaking around your goddamn house at night, sabotaging the boot so that it wouldn’t open properly.

Perhaps if that were the worst case scenario, he would just have to whack you on the head and shove you into the boot of your little car and drive you to his house. Chain you up and explain that he’s not a bad guy, he just cares for you. No one else cares for you like he does.

Thankfully, it doesn't come to that, because you’re clueless, really. It’s sad to see that you don’t protect yourself. If Joel could get away with all of this unseen. Imagine the real creeps that would take advantage of you.

Joel had been creating all of these minor issues for you, so that you would perhaps seek him out if he happened to.. by chance.. be nearby.

Come to think of it, there was a white pickup that had some sort of business name on the side of it. Been around your street a few times this week, actually. Perhaps he’s got work in the area?

Ain’t really your business to ask though.

“Yeah, I suppose. Thanks anyway, for this.. I should get home now. Don’t want all the dairy and meat to spoil.”

By now you really should be leaving.. but you feel compelled to give the helpful man your number.

“Maybe I can thank you properly one day for lending a hand.”

You quickly scribble it down on the back of your long docket and hand it to him.

“I’ll contact you,” albeit a simple response, he vows to you.

He takes the half crumpled paper with your number and nods with a warm smile, watching you as you get into your car and thank him again through the window before driving off.

A grim smile on his wicked lips as he watches the car leave the parking lot, knowing that even now, as you left, he would know where you were.

Because where you were, Joel was always following close behind. He did, after all.. think you were perfect. The missing piece of the puzzle to his family. The right woman to give his daughter a caring, loving mother. And you—would be his wife. Joel was taking all the steps necessary to ensure it.

He would have he perfect family. He would have you.

Finally, with the number in hand, he was one step closer.

[meazalykov]

watch my heart break

danielle van de donk x exarsenal!reader

summary: all good things must come to an end

warnings: angst

the fluorescent lights in the locker room flicker softly, casting a pale glow over the space that begins to feel more like a confinement than a sanctuary. 

you sit on the edge of a wooden bench, the cold surface pressing against you. the familiar scent of sweat and worn leather fills the air, mixed with the faint aroma of the laundry detergent used for your jerseys. 

yet, those odors that once brought you comfort now feel oppressive and heavy, much like the anguish building inside.

you stare at a small bottle of water resting in front of you, unable to bring yourself to drink from it. your heart feels like it’s encased in ice, a chasm of emotions swirling around your thoughts. your mind keeps flashing back to the whirlwind of emotions you shared with danielle—the laughter that echoed through the corridors of arsenal, the late-night conversations that stretched into dawn, the passion both on the field and behind closed doors. 

danielle was supposed to be your forever.

the news that ingrid gave you earlier in training sent you into a panic. at first, you thought you covered it up well. however, as you were doing drills, everything from the past hit you. you told the team that you had to use the restroom inside, but you just sat down and thought about everything.

the memories hits you with piercing clarity—the moment everything changed. you can see it as if it were happening again, the night in your shared apartment filled with the laughter and warmth that usually suffused your lives but now felt hauntingly distant.

“y/n, we need to talk,” danielle had said, her voice unusually serious, the shadows dancing across her face as the sunlight faded outside.

you immediately felt dread coil in your stomach. 

“what’s wrong…?” 

danielle doesn’t speak right away. 

“you’re scaring me,” you say, your heart racing as you brace for bad news.

“i got an offer from lyon,” danielle began, her words trembling in the air. 

“and… they want me to join.i’m going to take it.”

“thats amazing dani!!” 

“yeah but you’re going to wolfsburg, i’m not sure if this is going to work..” 

your heart sank. “what do you mean? what about us? we can make it work, danielle. wolfsburg and lyon is not that far; it’s just a three-hour flight.”

“y/n, it’s not just about the distance,” she explained. 

“long distance is hard emotionally. i don’t think i can do it. i’m sorry, but… i think we should break up.”

the words felt like a knife twisting into your heart. 

“what? you can’t just throw everything away because of a three hour distance! you’re the love of my life, danielle.”

“sometimes love isn’t enough,” she said softly, her eyes filled with unshed tears. 

“i can’t do this if we’re not at the same club. i don’t want to hurt either of us more.”

you stared at her, bewildered, trying to comprehend the sudden finality in her voice, the way she avoided your gaze as if afraid of what lay within. 

some of your national teammates can handle long distance relationships in different continents!! what does danielle mean she can't handle the distance between lyon and wolfsburg!

“i thought we were going to build a life together. dani i-i-i thought you were the one!”

“i thought so too,” she said, her eyes glistening. 

“but i have to think of my career. i can’t do long distance. i need to focus.”

“focus?” you echoed, disbelief washing over you. 

“how is it easier to date someone else at a different club than to fight for us?”

the room felt heavy with unsaid words as you both fell silent, each wrapped in your own swirling storm of thoughts. you wanted to scream, to shake some sense into her, to plead for clarity, for truth but all you could do was nod numbly, accepting what felt like a devastating betrayal while desperately holding on to the last threads of your love.

“if this is what you really want…” you finally whispered, tears blurring your vision, 

“i guess there’s nothing i can do… it hurts, danielle. it really hurts.”

“i’m sorry,” she said.

for a moment, you believed her—believed that the decision was about you, about them, and not the seeds of something new already taking root in her heart.

with that, you walked out of the door of your shared apartment for one last time, the echoes of your laughter still trapped between the walls, your heart crushed under the weight of goodbye.

now, the memory lingers in the air, sharp and painful. your heart twists as you recollect how danielle had never once expressed doubt about your love during that conversation—how could she? 

you blink away tears as you sit in the locker room, trying to gather yourself amidst the chaos of your emotions. 

footsteps echo down the hall, breaking the silence. 

lena enters, her vibrant presence immediately lighting up the somber atmosphere, but as she takes a step closer, her bright smile falters upon seeing your tear-streaked face.

“y/n! everyone is—--oh– uh, everything okay?”

you turn away, a lump forming in your throat. 

“i’m fine.”

lena knows better than to take that at face value. she can see the outline of your face, shimmering with unshed tears.

“you don’t look fine,” she says gently, stepping further into the room.

“do you want to talk about it?”

“not really,” you mutter, attempting to sound dismissive but failing miserably.

lena shifts awkwardly, but before she can respond, she glances toward the door, spotting ewa, ingrid, and pernille walking in. 

“guys! come here!” she calls, urgency lacing her tone. 

as they naturally gather around, you can feel their concern radiating off them, even though you wish to shield yourself from it. 

“what’s wrong?” ingrid asks, her accent unmistakably sweet and soothing.

you shake your head, unable to control the tears that form again. 

“nothing.”

“you’re crying, y/n,” ewa replies, a gentle probing beneath her tough demeanor. 

“talk to us.”

“you can’t fix this, trust me,” you say, bitterness creeping into your tone.

“who says we can’t?” pernille steps closer, an aura of strength emanating from her. 

“we’re here for you, remember?”

you let out a laugh, but it’s hollow. 

“what happened?” lena presses, her brow furrowing.

you take a deep breath, and with it comes a surge of emotions.

“it was danielle… she left for lyon. she didn’t want to do long distance, and i thought we could make it work. but then, just a few weeks later…” your voice trails off as the bite of fresh pain blooms in your chest.

“oh.” ingrid mumbles, remembering what she told you.

“what? what happened?” ewa asks, eyebrows knitting together in concern as she looks between you and ingrid.

“she started dating someone else. ellie, ellie carpenter from australia” you whisper, the name spilling from your lips like venom. 

“just a few months after our breakup. we were together for years!! was that why she was so adamant about ending things?”

silence fills the air, a heavy blanket that suffocates your spirit. you can see the realization flicker in your friends' eyes.

“what a coward,” ingrid murmurs, fury substituting soft sympathy. 

“she should have just talked to you.” pernille says. 

you feel that fury stir within you, heart pounding with a mix of anger and sorrow. 

“right? like it wouldn’t have been that hard to face me and tell me that! how could she not care enough to be honest?”

“some people are afraid of confrontation,” lena replies softly. 

“that doesn’t mean they care any less, though.”

you meet lena’s gaze, your eyes brimming once more. 

“but she didn’t fight for us, did she? if you love someone, you fight for them. i would’ve done everything in my power to make it work. we had plans… i thought she was the one.”

“this was all her loss,” pernille states firmly, a reassuring hand on your back. 

“you’re amazing, y/n! the way you play, the way you care about others—she doesn’t deserve a second of your thoughts! you need to let go of this weight.”

you can’t shake it off, no matter how much you try. the memories flood your mind, filling the gaps left by danielle’s absence. the laughter echoing through your apartment, the late-night matches played out on your console with hastily made snacks scattered around, the moments when danielle would lean in a little closer, making your heart race. 

“i don’t know how to do that,” you admit, your voice breaking.

“then we’ll help you,” ewa states firmly, a reassuring hand on your back. 

“we’re here, and we won’t let you carry this alone.”

“danielle made her choice,” ingrid adds, crossing her arms. 

“it was her loss. you’re incredible, y/n. don’t let her actions define your worth. you’re more than just someone who loved her. you’re a fantastic player, and you have a whole future ahead of you.”

in the comforting arms of your teammates, you whisper, 

“thank you, guys. i really don’t know what i’d do without you.”

“just remember, we are here for you y/n,” ewa promises, brushing a tear away from your cheek.

taking a deep breath, your heart begins to settle at last. maybe this is the turning point you need. 

“you think we should get back to training before coach asks what happened?” lena asks, pulling back slowly, gauging your reaction.

“yeah,” you say, the glimmer of determination beginning to replace the emptiness in your chest. 

“i promise i won’t let a relationship get in the way of my football again.”

“that’s the spirit!” ingrid cheers, throwing her arm around your shoulder.

masterlist

[serendipitous-girl]

warnings: suicidal thoughts, ideation, reckless behavior, depression, the works

You don't know the sound of the end until you hear it yourself. The last words you ever hear, are they harsh? Are they loving? Do they beat at your heart until it's a bloody and bruised mess of an organ? Or do they hold onto your fading love and cherish it like a generational heirloom.

Perhaps you did know what it sounded like, although you hadn't realized at the time. Saying the last love yous to your parents, kissing your baby brother's forehead for the last time. Joking around with your friends. It all came to an end, so suddenly and abruptly.

You were a ghost and surely this was some sort of hell. Trapped without those you know, struggling to survive in the strange unknown.

Your heart was empty, drained of all the blood and love it usually needs to survive. You were less than a ghost, you were a corpse. Maybe you should bury yourself alive, let the dirt swallow you whole until you are nothing but fleshy food for the creatures of the ground.

Sometimes, you wondered if you even still had blood beneath your veins. If you were to take a dagger and slice it across your palm, would that ruby red drip past or would it stay silent? Would your body cry out or would you stay forever mute?

How long have you been in this place? Months or years- it was hard to keep track when your brain had shut off long ago. A puppet for others pleasure, to be used and used. He didn't see you, not truly. He just wanted you to be useful, not to be a human.

Did you do something cruel in your old life? Was this some sort of divine punishment? Maybe this was the universe telling you, you don't deserve love or affection. You deserve this.

To be worked like a dog day and night. To be forced to save those you don't even know, all the while sacrificing your own sanity. None of these people can understand the way your body is nothing but a bag measly holding onto your soul when all you wished to do was let go.

Could they see the haunted look in your eyes? The dark bags under them? The sickly pallor of your skin? The way you dragged your feet as if it took too much energy to walk properly.

Or worse, did they see the way you treated your life with reckless abandon? The way you were so willing to die, like you were wishing it might happen already.

The night grows tired and the day awakens, more moments that you are away from your home. A fish out of water, a monster among gods.

You would have to get through another day, you would have to force yourself through it all. Just for those you didn't seem to even care for you nearly as much as you did for them. Would they die for you the way you would die for them? would they live for you the way you are for them?

One day, maybe, you might be able to feel that rope hug your neck. Or feel the liquid fill your lungs like an elixir of peace. One day, you might die. So you can once again feel alive.

But that day is not now, and it feels nowhere close. You have to protect those who can't protect themselves. You need to be there for them, even if they may not return the sentiment. Were you a hero? Perhaps, but it didn't matter. You'd take the chance to die if it were an option.

“Someday,” you whispered, your voice croaky and dry from lack of use, “I will return home.”

lori © 2024. please don't copy, modify, or do anything weird with my writing! i like reblogs and comments but please be kind as this was my writing.

[winchesterwild78]

Thankful for You

Master List

Characters: Dean Winchester X Reader (wife), Sam Winchester, Eileen Leahy, Cass, Jack

Warnings: Just a little holiday fluff.

A/N: Just a short story about Thanksgiving Day in the bunker. The reader and Dean are newly married and she wants their first Thanksgiving as a married couple to be perfect. 

I picked Dean instead of Jensen or any of his other characters, because Dean was the one who wouldn’t know what a traditional Thanksgiving would look like.

Does not follow the Supernatural story line. Used characters from the show, but all work is my own. I do not own the rights to these characters. 

Please don’t take my work. Reblogs and likes are appreciated.

Written fast and not edited, please overlook any errors. 

Minors DNI 18+

I woke up early, Dean’s arm laying loosely over my body. I slipped out of bed to our shared bathroom and took a quick shower. I needed to get the turkey on so it could be ready before everyone came over.

Dean and I had been married about 6 months and this was our first real Thanksgiving. Since he grew up in the hunting life, Thanksgiving wasn’t something he celebrated. I on the other hand always had the traditional Thanksgiving with all the food, football and family you could handle. 

I had bought a turkey, ham, rolls, yams, potatoes, green beans, stuffing, and of course pie. I knew I wouldn’t have time to bake all the pies, so I bought a few, but wanted to make Dean a cherry pie from scratch. 

I was thankful we had multiple ovens in the bunker, otherwise there was no way I could pull off roasting a turkey, making a ham and the pie in one day. 

After my shower I went into the kitchen and prepared the turkey. Once it was in the oven I started on the pie and ham. By the time Dean got up I was washing and peeling potatoes. 

He walked into the kitchen and leaned against the doorframe. His arms were crossed over his firm chest, and his feet crossed at the ankles. He smiled as he watched me flit around the kitchen.

“Need any help, sweetheart.” His voice startled me. I looked up at him and bit my lip. God I was so incredibly lucky to have him. “Good morning, Dean. No, I'm okay right now.”

He crossed the room, came up behind me and wrapped his arms around me. I leaned into his chest and he kissed my temple. “Do I smell pie?” He grinned. 

“Yes you do, but it’s in the oven. You have to wait.” Dean’s bottom lip poked out in a pout. I turned and faced him, placing my hands on his chest. “Dean, it’s not ready yet. You have to wait.” “Is that the only pie?” He asked with a smirk. 

“Now what do you think?” I said as I walked towards the counter. I held up the pumpkin pie and a grin spread across his face. He took three steps towards me and took the pie out of my hand with a chuckle. 

“Dean Winchester, give that back to me. That’s for later.” He laughed as he held it over my head. “What’s wrong sweetheart? Can’t reach it? You’re welcome to have it back if you can reach it.” 

“Oh you’re so mean.” We both were laughing and I kept jumping, trying to reach the pie. Sam appeared at the door and saw us playing around. He loved seeing his brother so happy. 

“Alright you two, get a room.” He said as he walked in to grab a coffee. “Sam, please tell your brother to give me back the pie. It’s for later.” Sam chuckled, threw his hands up in defeat, “You’re on your own shortstack. I thought you’d know by now to never get in the way of Dean and his pie.” 

“Hey! You’re supposed to be on my side, Sammy.” I said as I kept trying to get the pie. “Thanks baby brother.” Dean laughed.

“Alright, both of you, out of my kitchen. I have dinner to finish and you’re distracting me, Dean.” Dean placed the pie down, pulled me flush to him and kissed my lips. 

“God I love you, Y/N. I can’t believe you’re mine.” “I love you too, Dean, and you better believe it. Until my last breath, I’m yours.” 

Dean walked out of the kitchen and turned back to look at me again. His heart leaped in his chest. 

I finished getting the rest of the food prepared and I set the dining room table. Sam invited Eileen, Jack and Cass were coming, and of course Dean and I would be there. I was excited to have all of our family there to help celebrate Thanksgiving. 

As I stepped into mine and Dean’s room I found him sitting at his desk writing. I hadn’t seen him write in a long time. He told me when we first started dating he would write sometimes to help with his anxiety. 

“Hey, baby. I’m just gonna jump in the shower before everyone gets here.” I said as I stepped into the room. Dean looked up, “Okay sweetheart. I’ll be done here in a minute.” I lightly touched his shoulder, “Okay Dean.”

“Hey sweetheart?” I turned to look at Dean from the bathroom doorway, “Yes?” “I love you.” I smiled, “I love you too, Dean.”

About twenty minutes later I was showered, dressed and ready for dinner. When I walked into the room, Dean was gone and his journal was tucked away in its spot on the desk. I nervously bit my lip. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of sadness creep into my heart. Dean was upset about something, but he was keeping it from me. I had worked so hard to get most of his walls down, it broke my heart to think there was something bothering him that he felt he couldn’t share with me. 

I took a deep breath and walked towards the dining room. Sam, Eileen, Cas and Jack were all there chatting. I looked around for Dean but didn’t see him. 

They all greeted me, “Hey Y/N. Everything looks delicious, are you ready to eat?” I smiled, “Sure, y’all dig in. I’m going to find Dean.” Sam looked up at me, “He’s in the garage.” I nodded and walked towards the garage. 

I heard Dean before I even got in the room. I walked over to Baby and saw Dean sitting in the car. His eyes met mine, “Damn.” He whispered, causing me to blush.

“Dean, dinner is ready. Let’s go eat.” Dean climbed out of the car and pulled me flush to him. “Look at how beautiful you look, sweetheart. I am one lucky man.” “Don’t you forget it, Mr. Winchester.” “I could never, Mrs. Winchester.” 

“Before we go, Y/N I wanted to talk to you.” I swallowed the lump in my throat and bit my bottom lip, “Okay.” My voice barely a whisper. “I’ve done some pretty screwed up stuff in my life. I never thought I was worthy of anything, let alone love. Then I met you. I am thankful every single day I get to wake up next to you as your husband. You making this day special, this meal for us means so much to me. Nobody has ever loved me like you do. I know you saw me writing earlier, and I wanted to talk to you about that.” 

“Dean, you don’t have to. I know it’s how you deal with things in your head. Whatever you wrote, it’s okay if you keep it to yourself.” 

Dean stepped closer, “Baby I want to tell you. It’s about you, us.” “Okay, Dean. Whatever you have to say I can take it. No matter what it is.” My heart hammered in my chest. I was terrified and didn’t know why.

“Sweetheart, I’m ready.” I looked at him confused. “Ready to eat?” I asked. Dean chuckled, “No, well, yes, but that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m ready to start a family with you. I want us to have those babies we talked about. I want to leave this world a little better than we found it.” 

My breath hitched, “What? You really want to start a family?” “Yes, Y/N. I want to start a family with you. I can’t wait to see our babies and raise them by your side.” 

I threw my arms around his neck and wrapped my legs around his waist. “Yes, Dean! A thousand times yes! Let’s have a baby.” Dean kissed me deeply, “Wanna go start now?” He winked. 

“As much as I would, we do have a table full of guests who are hungry.” Dean chuckled, “You’re right. Let’s go eat. I can’t wait to get some of that pie you made.” “I can’t wait to start a family with you, Dean.” He grabbed my hand, “Me either, darlin’.” 

Dean and I walked into the dining room and greeted everyone. As I sat down and looked around the table at my family I smiled. I loved every single person sitting here with me, and I couldn’t wait to bring a little one into this family. 

We love each other deeply, protect completely, and never give up on each other. I know our baby will grow up loved, strong and protected.

As dinner started to wrap up, Sam and Eileen announced they were going to be getting married, Cas and Jack were rebuilding heaven, and Dean announced he and I were going to work on starting a family. 

Everyone was excited for us. Jack stepped close to me and whispered in my ear. I looked at him and he nodded. 

My heart fluttered. Later that night, Dean and I laid in bed, after a few times of trying and he held me tight. 

“Y/N, thank you for a wonderful day. I am so thankful for you.” “Dean, I am thankful for you too, and our baby.” 

Dean’s brain took a second to catch what I said. His eyes shot open and he propped himself up on his elbow, “What baby?” I looked at my husband, deep in his green eyes, “Jack told me tonight I’m pregnant, Dean. We’re pregnant.” 

“Oh my god, sweetheart. I’m gonna be a dad?” “Yes, Dean. You’re going to be a dad.” Dean gently placed his strong, calloused hands on my belly and kissed my lips. “Now this is something to be thankful for.” “Yes it is, Dean. Happy Thanksgiving, my love.” Dean cupped my face, “Happy Thanksgiving to you too, sweetheart.” 

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[alpoocka]

After roleplaying with different perspectives on the character, I realized I wanted to talk a little about my vision of Vanessa

I think these two were very anxious, but it manifested itself in different ways. They both want to do the best, but if Prince tries to explain everything as specifically as possible, talking a lot and gesturing, to avoid misunderstandings with the interlocutor, Vanessa simply does not start a conversation. She feels that she will ruin everything by her intervention, so she just keeps quiet. Once she was told that she was a bad speaker and she believed it, sat alone and read novels. Because of this, there were times when she enthusiastically began to tell Prince about something, temporarily forgetting about the barrier and opening up to him. He answered something like: wow, it's like you've been replaced. She interpreted this negatively and fell silent again.

Many people portray her as a hot-tempered person, but I think she wasn't, she used the diary to at least express her thoughts, fears, anger somewhere, while remaining outwardly calm. Most likely, she manipulated softly, slowly but surely, but most likely not consciously: "I suffer so much when you are not here, if only you came more often", "I don't like the bacon from the new supplier lately, maybe you shouldn't order it until we find a new, better one? I'll take care about it, really", "you spend too much time studying, I see how tired you are, you need to come to her classes less often, for your own health."

The hair dyeing incident was one of those times when she lost control of herself and brought the obsessive thought to life.

Vanessa is the personification of the phrase "still waters run deep", but she skillfully suppressed this part of herself until she saw the "betrayal". Sometimes she was told that she was naive, she tried not to pay attention to these words, but when she saw "irrefutable evidence", she thought too much without asking for an outside perspective.

Because of loneliness and introversion, as it seems to me, Vanessa tends to wind herself up, come up with hundreds of possible reasons for any actions, but she tried to push the negative ones into the background. Everything accumulated like a snowball in the depths of her mind and exploded that day. Usually a quiet and silent girl exploded.

I think she was absolutely distraught with loneliness when Hat Kid arrived, but she tried to maintain the illusion of normality: "I want a nice bathroom, a fridge and a modern stove" (I'd like to see the faces of the workers who installed all this), she constantly giggles under her breath and talks to herself. She doesn't care about Prince anymore, she won't trust anyone anymore.