#I LOVE CHARACTER CONSISTENCY AND CONTINUITY

[starheeee]

ℳyung 𝒥aehyun, type of bf….

pairing; bf!jaehyun x gn!r-ish : fluff, lots of pet names , mentions of cuddling+ kissing . ♱　 ͒

• idol!jaehyun asp, est.relationship , race neutral!r ⠀࿁ 𑄹 ˙ ͏

• wc: 1.3k , intentional lc

• s:notes ¿ wrote this at like 2 am cause i couldnt stop thinking about jae ><

- type of boyfriend to never and i mean NEVER forget to send good morning or good night texts.

- type of boyfriend that, instead of asking you to be his girlfriend, asked you if he could be your boyfriend.

- type of boyfriend who’d take you out on dates very often, why? because you deserve it, you’re his baby after all! loves trying out new cafes and restaurants with you, loves fun dates like arcades or bumper cars! however, if you’re both too tired for a fun date then even a simple date at home, consisting of watching a random tv show you both started together is more than enough. to jaehyun, it doesn’t matter what type of date your both are on, as long as he’s spending time with his favorite person, he’s happy!

- type of boyfriend to always text you random updates about his day, for example, “ babe! did you know that leehan was double jointed?!?!? i didn’t know till literally right now because he bent his finger in a weird way... it was so gross.” or “ baby i'm so hungryyyyyyy I feel like I’m going to dieeeeee!!!! but the next break isn’t till 20 minutes from now. 20 MINUTES !!!!!!!! :(( SAVE MEEEEEE PLS!!!”

- type of boyfriend to be more on the grumpy side during early mornings, i mean can you blame him? why would he want to get out of bed when he has his princess holding him in her arms, where he snuggled up so nice?????

- type of boyfriend to demand kisses at the most random times. in the morning? yes! before bed? of course! in the middle of some work? you can continue after giving him his kisses! after his schedules? you better! poor baby just wants you to smother him in kisses after a long and tiring day! not to mention that he's practically addicted to your lips, from the plumpness to the taste of them.

- type of boyfriend that If you’re more on the shy side he would definitely always order for you out in public! he never wants you to have a hard time and if it’s difficult for you to order he’ll be more than happy to do it!

- type of boyfriend to always buy you things that reminded him of you. a cute plushie? your favorite perfume/body spray? food? Heck, even the most random things just because it reminded him of that one time you both went on a date together and you saw a wooden utensil set that were shaped like different animals which you thought were really cute.

- type of boyfriend to remember every little detail about you. if you’re a picky eater, he remembers exactly what foods you don’t like or what things you want removed from certain foods.

- type of boyfriend to always let you have the first and last bite of his food.

- type of boyfriend who loves, and i mean LOVES when you play with his hair.

- type of boyfriend to look at you with so much love and admiration. he stares at you like you hung the stars in the midnight sky, like you’re the only person left on planet earth. not the mention the small smile the appears on his face as he remembers allll the reasons he loves you. true lover boy :(

- type of boyfriend to love listening to your gossip and drama. don’t play he WILL get into character, giving all his opinions and how it is so unfair for your coworkers to treat you the way they do and how they’re just acting like that because they’re jealous of you.

- type of boyfriend to randomly shower you with a bunch of praise out of no where.

for example, you’d be sitting on the couch in the dorms waiting for jaehyun to finish up making the popcorn to start up your guy’s movie night. after a few moments of waiting, jaehyuns done with the popcorn, setting it on the table in front of you both. as you grab a quick bite of the snack, you ask jaehyun which movie to watch first out of the three options you had, no response.

confused, you turn to him, eyes meeting a myung jaehyun staring right back at you, “earth to jae, did you hear what i just said?” you ask, “you’re so beautiful, like i don’t know what i did to deserve you, seriously, i’m so lucky to even be able to call myself your boyfriend”, you’re taken aback, but immediately began to feel your cheeks turn hotter, quickly becoming very flustered, instantly putting your hands up to cover your face, making jaehyun let out a giggle “hey! don’t cover your gorgeous face! let me look at it longer baby!” he says, still giggling, hands coming up to grab yours as a attempt to see your tomato red face. which, he personally, thinks makes you look even cuter.

- type of boyfriend who’s really good at comforting you. it’s honestly kind of weird how good he is. he knows exactly what you need when you’re not feeling good mentally or physically, he knows when to give you some time by yourself, when to cuddle you to sleep while whispering sweet praise or be silly to distract you from whatever made you feel the way you did

- type of boyfriend to be so helpful during your period, he’s just worried about his baby that’s all :(( you don’t even have to tell him about your period because he has his own tracker on his phone. he WILL be showing up to your doorstep with everything you need from extra pads/tampons, chocolate, flowers, medicine, food, and most importantly HIS LOVE! kisses, cuddles, his very own “play” ( it’s just him acting out different characters from his own story, that he defiantly didn't make up on spot, while using his various amount of different voices. most of the time the stories are really dumb but as long as you’re smiling, laughing or giggling he knows he's doing a good job!) bed time stories, lullabies, you name it!

- type of boyfriend to never go to sleep when your both upset with one-another, even if it doesn’t happen a lot; if it ever does he never wants to go to sleep with unresolved issues between you both.

- type of boyfriend to randomly hug you all the time. there’s never not a day that goes by without jaehyun popping out of nowhere to ask for a hug, sometimes he doesn’t ask, he just comes up behind you, snakes his hands around your waist and rests with head against your back with a quite, content sigh leaving his mouth.

- type of boyfriend who’s very vulnerable with his emotions, he’s never scared to cry around you, he loves and trusts you a lot, so why wouldn’t he come to you when he’s having a hard time? when work gets really stressful jaehyun goes to you and just rests his body on top of yours, face in your neck as you play with his hair. he’ll just talk to you about his thoughts and concerns while you quietly listen, sometimes he cries, and when that happens, you simply just grab his face and wipe his tears as you whisper sweet words to him, telling him how much you love him and how much of a good leader he is. after a while and more reassurance he’ll start to smile and giggling after you recall the many funny stories about the members fooling around.

- type of boyfriend to come up with the weirdest, dumbest, cutest pet names ever. one day he's calling you his little plastic spoon because he thought you looked cute when you were eating, the next day he's calling you his sunshine because, according to him, no matter what negative emotions he's feeling, you always provide the light and warmth he needs to feel better.'

- type of boyfriend to rarely ever have arguments with you. he hates arguing, especially with you. however, if you both ever end up arguing he'll make sure to communicate with you well and quickly resolve the argument, because as he says, "happy wife, happy life".

omg i love him sm UGHGHGHHGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also this is my first time writing a proper fanfic so tell me how i did!!! also this is like lightly edited so sorry for any mistakes in grammar or spelling or anything.

[thewardenisonthecase]

when you look at the stars, I'll be there

Summary: For over ten years, Anneliese Cousland and Alistair have tried and failed to conceive. After much work, however, their son is born and Anneliese soons find herself struggling with being a mother. aka. the character study fic about anneliese and motherhood. A/N: idk anything about babies or being a mother btw so don't. come for me if smthg seems off. Word Count: 2,211

When she was young, Anneliese had been told that there was no moment like that when a mother first held her child. When she asked her sister-in-law, Oriana went into great detail at how full of love she felt when Oren came into the world. During her pregnancy, the other ladies in court all told her what wonderful and magical moment it was. 

But as Anneliese sat there, covered in sweat and bleeding, shaking from exhaustion, she wondered if something was wrong with her. When they placed the child in her arms, she could barely stand to look at him. 

For nine long months she had carried him inside of her, and she had hated almost every second of it. The constant nausea and vomiting that made her feel weak was bad enough. The fact that all those around her treated her like glass made it even worse. Soon, she no longer was allowed to carry a shield and days were no longer spent training in the courtyard. 

Embroidery did very little to sate her needs of stabbing. 

The worst part had been the nightmares. Especially during the later months, she had consistent nightmares where she was a Broodmother and from her, the slug like Children crawled out from her. She shivered even just remembering those. 

And now he was here, this long awaited child that had caused her so much suffering was in her arms. She had thought that his birth would make it all worth it, that it would all make sense. 

But when she looked at him, Anneliese felt nothing. It was the same nothing that she felt when she killed Howe. 

The memory of that day came back to the forefront of her mind. Howe, dead on the floor, his blood on her hands, her sword, her shield. His vile words echoing in her head, and she had been driven by the belief that his death would have meant more than this. That it would have felt something more than just another body in the pile she left behind wherever she went. 

She thought it would have given reason to all the pain she had endured but as she looked at his lifeless eyes, she felt nothing. 

“He’s so small.” Alistair’s voice brought her back to the present. Anneliese turned her head to look at him. He had a smile on his face and she swore she saw a tear on his eye. At least someone was happy. “I think he has your nose.” 

She wanted to say something but her only reply was a half smile, as the tiredness began to set in. She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath as her son began to settle down in her arms. 

“Have you thought of a name yet?” She heard Eamon ask. With a heavy sigh, she opened one eye and looked at Alistair. 

“Since he’s a boy, I believe we settled on Duncan.” He said, looking between the old man and the baby. 

It was almost ironic that their child be named after the man who put them on this path all those years ago. But it was a good name. 

“Yes.” She breathed out. “Duncan it is.”        

. 

Anneliese sat alone in the nursery, Duncan drinking from her breast. The topic of a wet nurse had been brought up but she insisted on feeding her child herself. It had taken her too long to have him, she wouldn’t let others raise her son. 

But as she sat there, her thoughts went to Morrigan.   

Morrigan all alone, pregnant, wandering Ferelden. Giving birth by herself and raising her son on her own. Did she feel scared? Did she ask for help? Did she feel the same as Anneliese did now? 

Did Morrigan doubt herself as Anneliese did?

She wondered where she was. A decade had passed, the boy would be all grown up by now. Who did he take after, she wondered. 

Anneliese looked down at Duncan, as he continued to drink. Alistair said he had her nose though it seemed to her too early to tell. He did have a mop of black hair on his head, much like hers.

She sighed heavily as she thought of the months that had passed. She had spent most of her time in this room, with him. She’d sing him to sleep, she’d feed and bathe him, and all this time spent together, she still waited for that moment. 

The moment she’d look at him and feel something.

Duncan cried endlessly. She would try to soothe him but it was never enough. She would hold him in her arms, trying to rock him but he wouldn’t stop crying. Then Alistair would hold him and he’d calm down in an instant. Anneliese wondered if there was something wrong with her. 

Sometimes, she almost resented him. She was always alone with him, and thought Alistair helped where he could, someone still had to lead the country. The few times she had met with others, the conversation had been solely about him. How’s the babe, is he doing well, he’s so big. She tired of it quickly. 

She missed her life before he was born, of days spent in the training yard. How long had it been since she last wielded a sword? 

But when she thought of handing Duncan to someone else, fear gnawed at her. He consumed her life and yet, she couldn’t stand to be separated from him. Did Oren not die the night his father wasn’t around? 

Still, she was tired, and only four months had passed. Would it be like this forever? 

Once he was done feeding and burping, she rocked him her arms, hoping he’d go to sleep. The peacefulness of the moment lay heavy on her eyes, and soon, she closed them. 

. 

“But I don’t want to get married!” Anneliese crossed her arms and pouted. She sat in front of the vanity, her tiny legs swinging from the chair as her mother brushed her hair. 

Eleanor huffed “You say that now, but then one day, you’ll be old and wrinkly and wondering where are you husband and children to keep you warm.”

“I can have my friends. And Buddy will be there.” 

She sighed. “I know, honey, but friends can leave and Buddy…well, it would just be safer if you had someone who would be with you. Like a husband.” She began braiding Anneliese’s hair. “I just want you to not be alone.” 

“I have you and father. I’ll never be alone.” 

“Your father and I…we won’t be here forever, love.”

Anneliese frowned. “What does that mean?” 

“I-” Eleanor did not finish her sentence, as an arrow was shot through her throat. Anneliese stood up from her chair, not a child anymore, as she saw her mother bleeding on the floor. 

Eleanor gasped, trying to say something but she couldn’t. 

“Mother!” She held her hand, tears streaming down her face. “Please, please. Mother, don’t leave me. I need you!” 

Her mother looked at her, eyes widened as life vanished from her body. Soon, it turned to ash into Anneliese’s hand, as she cried herself into waking up. 

.

The room was dark, with a gentle breeze flowing through the open window. Anneliese woke up with a gasp, and feeling an emptiness in her arms. 

Duncan was nowhere to be found. 

Her heart hammered in her chest as she looked around. Seeing no sign of him, she ran out of the room. The halls were long and dark, but she knew her home well. She stopped first in the room, grabbing the sword she always kept underneath her bed and ran out again. 

She ignored the guards and servants that tried to talk to her. Soon, she found herself bursting into Alistair’s room. 

“Alistair! Duncan-” She said as she entered but soon the words died on her throat as she saw her husband, sitting on a chair, their son asleep on his chest. She placed her sword on the floor, as she breathed a sigh of relief, walking over to them. 

Alistair, who seemed half asleep, looked at her. “He was crying, so I decided to take him. He’s been out for hours now.” 

“He was crying?” She whispered. How had she not heard it? 

“You were asleep. I didn’t want to disturb you.” 

She didn’t know what to say. She didn’t remember falling asleep. The fact that someone entered the nursery and took him without her noticing-

“You’re crying.” Alistair whispered, as he reached forward to hold her hand. “What happened?” 

She looked down, frowning as she touched her face. It was only then she had noticed the tears. “I had a bad dream and then I woke up and he was gone, and I…” She covered her face with her hands, trying not to sob as she took a deep breath. “Maker, what a mess.” 

“Hey…look at me. ” Alistair reached for her hand again, holding it in his. “He’s here, you’re here, I’m here. Everything’s alright.” 

She wiped the tears from her face with her other hand. “I just… Keep worrying something will happen if I’m not here.”

“He won’t be alone. There’ll always be someone watching over him.”

“It’s not that, it’s…. What if the wind blows too coldly, or what if wakes up scared, or what if someone takes him.” She looked at Alistair. “What if something happens and I’m not here?”

“Nothing’s going to happen.”

“You don’t know that. Alistair, you took him from me and I didn’t wake up.” 

“I’m his father-”

“But what if you weren’t-”

“Anneliese.” He spoke in a slightly louder tone. “I worry too. All of the time. But you haven’t been resting well. That’s why you didn’t wake up. You spend every waking hour with him, and it's hurting you. Let others help.” 

She bit her lip. She knew he was right but he didn’t understand. Duncan was small, too small, and he did nothing besides eat, sleep and cry. It was her job to protect him, and if she couldn’t even do that…

His crying took her out of her thoughts, and soon, he was back in her arms. Alistair tried to protest, but she told him “I’ll put him to sleep and then…then we talk.” 

She marched out of the room, as she desperately tried to soothe him but it seemed an impossible task. Duncan always cried harder when she held him. 

In his room, she walked in circles, rocking him, singing to him but nothing worked. Soon, she too began to quietly cry. 

What was wrong with her, that she couldn’t calm her own child? Did he know his mother did not love him as she should? 

She didn’t know how to do this. There were others to help, yes, but none of them understood. She felt like a child again, lost and desperate and where was her own mother. 

Eleanor should have been there. She should have been there to hold her hand and guide her and tell her how to do this and how to fill the void inside of her. Duncan continued to cry. 

She walked towards the window, gulping down her own tears, and she looked to the sky, taking a deep breath. 

“When you look at the stars, I’ll be looking at them too.” Anneliese whispered to herself, remembering her mother’s words to her. “And it’ll be as if we’re looking at each other.” 

‘When you feel lonely and lost, just look to the stars, and I’ll be watching over you.’ 

Where are you now, mother, when I need you most? She thought to herself. 

Anneliese wondered if she could see her now. Anneliese was no longer the girl her mother had tried to protect - loss and constant battle had turned into a woman. When she was young, she thought her mother was over protective. She didn’t let Anneliese leave Highever, she didn’t want to put her in danger, she did not understand her fascination with blades and combat and stories of war and knights. 

But now, holding Duncan in her arms, she began to understand. All he had was Anneliese. Perhaps that’s how her mother always saw her, not as a young woman, but as the child she had to protect. 

As if by a miracle, Duncan ceased crying. She looked down at him, as he squirmed in the slightest before settling in her arms. 

She took a deep breath. “Nothing will ever hurt you.” She promised. “I won’t let anything hurt you, ever.” She kissed his forehead. “I’m sorry that I can’t be a good mother to you,” she wiped a tear off her cheek “but I promise to be there. I love you.” She said. 

Even if I can’t feel it, she thought to herself. 

Gently, she laid him on the crib, and stood over him, watching him sleep. Not too long after, Alistair walked into a room and went to her side, a hand on her back. 

“Go to sleep, love. I’ll stay with him.” 

She looked at Alistair, and saw the tiredness in his eyes. She nodded and said “I’ll go, just…give me a few more minutes.” 

He nodded, and the two stood there, watching their son sleep. 

.

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