#I HAVEN'T TURNED ON MY COMPUTER IN FOUR DAYS BEFORE THIS

[peachhcs]

anywhere with you

hughes!sister x will smith au (samy + will)

somewhere in between samy's sophomore year of college and after will's rookie season, the two talk about what's next for them.

1.1k words

i'm back?? maybe?? hiii i've been on a small hiatus mainly because i didn't know what to write and didn't like everything i did write, but this little blurb may have gotten me out of the slump!! i wrote them sometime in the future..timeline a bit off, but it's okay we'll create our own timeline :)) also someone requested this awhile back and i finally got around to writing it

au masterlist

will made himself comfortable between samy's legs as they laid out on the couch together. the sun was warm—weirdly warm for an april afternoon in michigan, but neither of them were complaining getting to spend some time outside after being cooped up all winter. somewhere inside was luke and jack playing on the xbox and the couple could hear their voices from all the way outside on the back deck. the day felt perfect.

"ow, will," samy shoved her boyfriend's head when he was crushing a little too much of her leg.

"sorry, we don't really fit on this couch together," the blonde laughed a little.

"well, yeah. it's not made for me and a 6 foot hockey player. why are you sitting so close anyway?" she reached down to play with some of his messy curls.

"because. i haven't seen you since february and i leave in three days again," will said in a "duh" tone earning a small eye roll from the girl above him.

since playoffs were right around the corner, will didn't get much time off. he had exactly four days to do whatever he wanted and guess what he chose? spending all of it in michigan with samy while she was on spring break.

"right. guess you're telling me to be grateful you're here," she teased.

"i wasn't, but now i am," his lips turned up into a smirk. will disregarded his computer for a moment, flipping himself over so now his chin rested just below her belly button. samy couldn't help but smile seeing her boyfriend's big, goofy grin.

"nervous for the playoffs?" she wondered, hand wandering back down to toy with his curls again.

"a little. maybe i'm nervous i won't live up to everyone's expectations," will frowned.

"what do you mean? i feel like you met the expectations this season. everyone loved you," samy saw all the comments about the shark's new number 2. the fans went crazy for him and his talent was real.

"i know, i know. i'm just worried i'll blow it and they won't love me anymore," the blonde admitted. all the pressure was hard sometimes. will definitely thrived off of it to fuel him for his rookie season, but that didn't mean it didn't get to him.

samy's hand fell to his arm, giving it a tight squeeze out of love and comfort, "well, whatever happens, i'll be proud of you and i'll still love you."

will's face flushed, face heating up at his girlfriend's words. even if he's heard it a million times before, it still got him blushing like crazy whenever she said it. "i think your opinion's biased, but thank you. as long as i know you're watching i'm sure i'll be fine," now it was samy's turn to blush.

a comfortable silence fell around them as will's finger wandered and traced little shapes into the exposed skin on samy's stomach. he always got lost in his own world whenever they were together and he could never seem to think about anything other than her. (he also simply just never stopped thinking about her either, even on the ice.)

"i think because i'm almost done with sophomore year mom's started to pester me about what's next after graduation," samy changed the subject, breaking the silence.

"yeah?"

"yeah. nothing too annoying, but i know she wants me to think about it more than i have been. stuff like if i wanna go to grad school; what's my job gonna be; am i staying in michigan blah, blah, blah," the brunette mimicked ellen's voice pretty well making both her and will laugh.

"do you know what you wanna do?" will wondered, finger still tracing his little shapes which was as soothing for samy as it was for him.

"i mean..no. not really. maybe law school but i'm not 100% sure about that yet. i'm still gonna take the lsat, but i don't really know if that's my career path anymore," the younger hughes rambled a little.

"that's okay. you don't have to know. there's a lot you can do with a political science major. at least i know you can do a lot with it because you're so smart," will's words made the girl blush again.

"will"

"i'm being serious and i'm not just saying that. you're really smart, samy. you're gonna figure it out," he offered a half smile.

"i wish i was like you and jack and luke and quinn who just have their whole life already planned out because of hockey. like, they just knew from when we were kids that this was gonna be their life. i was always so..confused," samy frowned which will hated seeing.

"i think we just got lucky. you're gonna figure it out, i promise. if law school isn't for you, that's okay. you can do marketing, pr, analysis, literally anything. plus, there's always a home for you in san jose if you'd wanna like..i don't know..take a year to figure it out after you graduate," him and samy always talked about how she'd live with him wherever he ended up in the nhl once college was over, obviously joking —sometimes or sometimes it wasn't a joke—but right now will was being serious. samy could tell by the way he looked at her, his blue eyes so set and serious, yet so loving.

another blush rose to her cheeks, "i appreciate it. i'll definitely remember it."

"while we are on the topic though, whenever we decide to settle down..i wouldn't mind landing back here," the future, future wasn't a topic samy and will spoke a lot about together, but for some reason it seemed so close at the moment with how samy was going to graduate college in about two years.

"whenever we settle down? oh boy," but of course, she had to tease him about it first. will flushed, burying his head into samy's stomach. she giggled at his reaction, threading her fingers back through his hair—and will always wondered why his hair looked so messy after hanging out with her.

"but yeah, i wouldn't mind coming back here. i'd go anywhere really. i've been kind of everywhere growing up. you don't wanna go back to boston?" it seemed hard to believe will didn't want to go back to where his roots lived.

"i mean, yeah but i'll go anywhere you go. i don't care where i end up," the blonde smiled and so did samy.

"wow, you're so corny, but i'd go anywhere you go too. california, boston, michigan, wherever," will pushed himself up more so him and samy were almost face to face and he was basically on top of her.

"i guess we'll just be corny together then," they connected their lips in a sweet kiss.

"i love you, will," samy hummed when they pulled apart.

"i love you too," he made himself comfortable again, but this time right on top of her. it was clear they weren't getting any work done anymore, the warm air slowly putting them to sleep and everything else fading out.

[cyber-night]

Fyodor needs help sometimes even if he doesn't want it

Content Warnings: Self-neglect, degradation, humiliation, (Neither of which are particularly "sexy" it's more just Fyodor being put in his place through his own stupidity), this... isn't healthy for Anyone...

no smut today, sorry :( there Is a part 2 to this with smut. So if you want to see the pathetic, problematic, and malnourished, twink getting railed come back in a bit :3

You sigh as you look at Fyodors pill bottle. You'd recently put a cap on it that had a timer telling when it had last been opened. You suspected that he hadn't been taking his meds. The timer showed that it had been over two days since Fyodor had taken his medication, and even then, he only took it because you brought it to him.

You head up to his computer room where you find him hunched over his keyboard, typing away at lines of code. "Hey Fedya?" He hums as if he hears you but isn't listening. You continue anyway. "You haven't taken your meds in a few days... how are you feeling?"

"Fine," He says without looking up from typing. "When's the last time you got up to eat or use the bathroom?" You ask worriedly. Fyodor sighs. "I do not need you babying me. I can care for myself, you know." He says flatly. "You haven't taken your meds in two days... I worry about you. When's is the last time you slept in a bed and not at your desk?" He stops typing and pinches the bridge of his nose in irritation. "Not all of us get to sit around and do nothing you know some of us have actual work to do." This makes you pause irritation boiling under your skin. "Excuse me? I do plenty thank you very much. I'm the only one who does anything around here." You snap he has never been this expressly disrespectful to you. "You do nothing but annoy me and take me away from my work! I don't need your help! I realize you are too dumb to understand how important what I'm doing is, but you can at least have the decency to let me do it. As for what you do around here, you do nothing but take up space and money!" He snaps angrily you pause your eyes wide, all the times you've made sure he had water and tea as he worked, made sure he was eating, brought him food if he hadn't eaten yet, brought him his meds, all of that to him was simply an interruption? An irritation? Not to mention you took care of most of the chores, though he helped with a few such as the trash ...Fine then if that's how he saw it. "Very well, then I'll stop." You sat icily your eyes narrowed. "Since you will be fine without me helping, I'll leave you be." He seems pleased at that. "Good." Is all he says before he turns back to his monitors. You don't hesitate to turn and leave.

True to your words the next four? Maybe five days? You don't do anything for him. You knew when you two started dating, he needed something akin to a caretaker as he was oblivious to his own health, unable to feel hunger, thirst, or even exhaustion the way most do. It stemmed from his autism and you were willing to help him out of love for him. You never thought you'd have that affection thrown back at you in such a volatile way. You haven't seen him for a few days making no effort to seek him out.

You are sitting in the living room reading a book quietly when he stumbles in. He looks terrible. He hasn't showered in about two weeks at this point, hasn't had his meds in a week, and God knows when the last time he ate was. You only barely glance at him before returning to your book. You watch him lean against the counter as he makes his way to where his meds are stored. Once he get his hands on them, he looks at the caps timer, showing him its been almost a week since he's taken them. His hands shake as he struggles to open the pill bottle, the childproof cap, making it impossible for him when he's this weak. You watch him from over the edge of your book. He is genuinely struggling, but you can also tell he's putting on a bit of a show to garter pity from you to make you feel bad for leaving him to fend for himself. You don't give him any instead of going back to actually reading flipping the page. After quite a bit of time, he finally stumbles over to you and holds the bottle out to you. "Open this." He says gruffly. "You don't need my help. You should be fine." You say not looking up at him though you can see his hand trembling in your peripheral. Your words make him pause.

He tries to open the bottle again with no luck he stands there swaying slightly, his pride not letting him admit he was wrong or that he needs help. He tries to pull your book down, but he is too weak to succeed. You watch him sway again before he crumples at your feet, the pills bottle rolling away from him. You still don't look up from your book as you flip the page. If he wants anything from you, he needs to put his pride aside. He sits there, trembling at your feet for a few minutes before weakly whispering, "I'm sorry..." It's makes you laugh a little inside. "Pardon? I didn't hear what you said. Would you like to repeat that?" You ask without looking up from your book. "I'm sorry..." You nod. "Hmm, that's a start. What are you sorry for?" His eyes are unfocoused, and he's barely keeping himself upright. "I'm sorry for yelling at you."

"And?"

"...And I was wrong."

"About?"

"I was wrong, I do need you..." You nod again as you flip the page. "Yes, you do, don't you." He waits for a moment before he continues "...Are you going to help me now?" You laugh finally closing your book. "And why would I do that? You've done the bare minimum." Fyodors eyes widen, "please..." He whispers weakly. "Please, what?" You ask with a smirk as you watch him sway on his knees. "Convince me." He takes a shakey breath. I'm looking like he might cry. "Please help me... I feel like I'm going to pass out, and I can't... I can't take care of myself right now." You tilt his head back so you can observe him better. "It's almost a pity I have to put you back together... I kind of like you like this. Weak and pathetic, not that you aren't weak and pathetic normally, but... it's just you look pretty when your half way from deaths doorstep." He whines a hint of fear in his eyes. Sure, he could kill you with a touch, but the idea that he is weak and pathetic normally makes him uncomfortable. "I really should make you work for my help... but I'm feeling... Generous. So instead, I'll only make you beg. Sit back on your knees and put your hands up to your chest like a dog. I want to see you beg like one. After all, I have to care for you like a pet."

Fyodor shudders but does it his body barely stable for very long as he holds his hands up in an imitation of paws he looks at you, embarrassment evident in his face. "Good enough, I guess." You sigh idly, he whimeprs, letting his body relax so he doesn't fall further to the floor he rests his forehead on your knee. "Please~" He whispers meakly. Finally, you move him onto the couch and lay him down with a sigh.

You go get his meds, water, and soup since you don't trust him to keep solid food down right now. You come back to him asleep, and you almost feel bad about having to wake him up, but you know you need to. He needs to eat and drink. You carefully nudge him awake and set about nursing your brilliant moron of a boyfriend back to health. You wake him up not as gently as you usually would. You shove the pills into his mouth, then yank his head back and force him to drink, double tapping his cheek once he swallows. "T-thank you... my love..." You help him eat the soup since his hands tremble. "You wouldn't be in this mess if you simply listened to me, you know." You sigh as you pet his hair the soup bowl finally empty "If you had just been a good boyfriend and accepted my care you would fine, but no you have to be a selfish stubborn brat." He looks up at you with glassy eyes. "I'm sorry... I'll try and be better..."

You shake your head and sigh, carrying him to lay down in bed. A shower will have to wait till tomorrow. "Sleep, you can make it up to me tomorrow, Fedya." He nods and nuzzles into you, clinging to you out of anxiety that you'll abandon him again. You kiss his forehead as he drifts off.

[dilemmaontwolegs]

Already Gone || MV1 {6}

Pairing: Max Verstappen x spy!fem!reader Summary: The brief moment of quiet comes to an end when Ferrari go on the attack for retribution. Warnings: 18+ only, oral, smut, violence WC: 2.7k

F1 Masterlist || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven

You had fired the warning shot and there was nothing to be done but wait and see how Ferrari would respond to their stocks plummeting.

With no races for the next two weeks you had too much spare time that it left you itching to do something, anything. After years of living life on a whim, moving from place to place faster than Max with his DRS, all this time at home was taking some getting used to.

The house was tidy, the laundry was done, you even started to log into the dark web to see if there were any jobs waiting before realising that it wasn’t your job anymore. You were part of a small team that worked under the very loose term of security but reported directly to Christian. With Ferrari scrambling for sponsors to finance their team, it had been relatively quiet for you in recent weeks.

After pottering around in the kitchen you decided it was five o’clock somewhere in the world and broke out the blender. Armed with two cocktails, and nothing left to keep you busy while Max streamed, you made your way upstairs and decided to watch his race with the rest of the Redline team.

You saw his smile grow in the small box in the corner of his screen when he spotted you pass through the doorway behind him and he risked crashing as he steered with one hand so the other could pull you onto his lap.

“I wondered when you would get bored,” he commented as he continued leading the race. 

“It seemed the perfect excuse for some day drinking,” you said as you held his glass up to his lips so he could take a sip as he steered.

“Oh fuck, that’s strong,” he said with a cough before taking another drink anyway.

The chat box started to go crazy with the amount of comments coming through and you scanned over them until one caught your eye and you snorted a laugh.

user1: Max, I hacked your computer and have your sex tape. Pay me €1m or I’ll release it.

“No one can get past my firewalls, but nice try!” you said before you leant towards the camera and childishly poked your tongue out. 

“Babe, babe,” Max called as he shifted around trying to see the screen before his car crashed and he threw his hands in the air, nearly sending the drinks flying. “Ah, come on." His head dropped to your shoulder with a groan before he placed a quick kiss in the same spot. "Gianni says thanks.”

user2: Uh-oh! Someone’s in trouble now. user3: Y/N coming and ruining it for the rest of us.

“I was just giving the other guys a chance to win,” you said for the chat before turning to Max and kissing his cheek, “so your friends will still want to play with you.”

user4: such a mommy thing to say user5: Did everyone else miss the fact Y/N just confirmed they made a sex tape!

Since Max no longer needed his arms to drive, they curled around your waist as he read the comments with you, answering some questions along the way. 

“No, we haven't…well, not on purpose,” he said as he saw the last comment. “I forget how many security cameras she has set up around the house and there’s always new ones, so it just happens.”

user3: Sounds like Y/N is keeping Max in prison. Blink twice if you need help.

His laugh teased your skin as he rested his chin on your shoulder and unplugged his headphones so you could hear Gianni and Diogo teasing him.

“Alright,” he cut them off with a roll of his eyes when they took things too far as always happened. “That's enough internet for one day, I’m going to go and get drunk with my lovely warden.”

“That’s sarcasm, for those about to call the police,” you pointed out as you held his bored face up to the camera. “I know it’s hard to tell with this stoic, handsome face.”

Max chuckled as he closed the platform and you shifted on his lap to get more comfortable. “Are there any videos?”

“Oh, without a doubt,” you confirmed after finishing your drink while you thought of all the places in the house you had gotten carried away with each other. “I haven’t actually checked though, but now I just might. Maybe I can make a video for when you’re away.”

“For you or for me?” he asked as his hands ran up your thighs slowly.

“I might share with you if you ask me nicely.”

The sim chair went sliding back before Max stood up with you in his arms and he navigated the hall to cage you beneath him on the bed. You could taste the gin on his tongue before he trailed his lips down your neck and across your collarbone.

“Is this you asking?”

He hummed his answer against your skin and his fingers popped the button on your jeans. “Nicely.”

“You certainly know how to get your way,” you praised, lifting your hips so he could drag them down your legs before you sat up just long enough to pull your shirt off.

“I learned from the best,” he teased with a wink before he tugged your body to the edge of the bed and fell to his knees between your spread legs. His breath was warm on your thighs and the short hairs that shadowed his cheeks left you writhing before his lips even made contact.

“Maxxxxx,” you whined as he kissed everywhere except where you needed it most.

“Yes?”

You pushed yourself up on your elbows so you could see the smirk on his lips. “This is not my definition of ‘nicely’.”

“Patience, liefje.”

“Patience was never my strongest virtue,” you warned before you used a move that was meant for close combat and ended with Max on his back on the carpet and you straddling his chest. “I want you.”

“I can see that,” he chuckled as his hands gripped your thighs and pulled you higher up his body, lining your centre with his lips. “Impatient little minx.”

You moaned as his tongue finally found your sweet spot after all the teasing and your hips rolled as you buried your hands in his hair and rode his face.

You had never had a lover like him, one that was more focused on your pleasure than his own. One orgasm wasn’t enough, he wanted you weak and overstimulated, your arousal running down his chin as he held your hips tightly so you couldn’t escape his tongue.

Your body was more than wet enough to take him when he kicked his shorts away and you sunk down his hard length. But your cunt was tight from the orgasms and the air left your lungs as he filled you so deeply it was almost to the point of pain.

“Need a moment?” he asked as his thumb reached between your legs and found your clit.

You did but, as he said, you were impatient and planted your palms on his chest as you slowly started to ease yourself up and down his cock. The sounds of your breathing changed as pleasure began to build and Max grinned as he gripped your hips knowing you were ready for more. He shifted beneath you, his knees bending so he could have the leverage he needed before he slammed up into you.

You cried his name out as your bodies slapped together and his strong hands bounced you in time to his thrusts. Every stroke dragged him along your walls that fluttered around him and you swore in ecstasy as his head hit your cervix.

Sweat beaded on your forehead, your legs trembled uncontrollably and you could barely open your eyes when his hold finally eased. There was no way you were going to be able to make it to the bed as you rolled off his body and collapsed to the carpet beside him

You were just about to open your mouth and ask him to drag the bedsheet down to the floor when your smartwatch lit up on your wrist. The alert was for the silent alarm that had been triggered on the perimeter of the property and all the oxytocin and dopamine released thanks to Max was replaced with adrenaline. Strength flooded back to you as you rose to your feet and grabbed a white shirt of Max’s that was close by.

“Lock the door behind me,” you ordered Max with a whisper as he noticed the change instantly. “And call Christian.”

“What’s going on?” he asked, pulling his shorts up as he made his way to the door too.

“Someone’s in the house.” You grabbed his shoulder as he went to step out of the room and pushed him aside. “Do not leave the room until I’m back. This is my job.”

“You’re my girlfriend, I’m not going to let you go alone.”

“Right now I’m your security,” you hissed quietly as you watched the camera feed in the small device, “and I will knock you out if it means keeping you safe.”

He held his palms up and took a step back into the room until you nodded in satisfaction. “Be safe.”

The worry in his tone brought a small smile to your face. “Always.” The door clicked shut behind you before the lock slid into place and the smile faded. It was time to go hunting.

You swiped across the device on your arm, flipping through all the cameras to determine there were three men in the house. They were still on the ground floor and making their way around each corner with the ease of a group that was used to working together.

Pulling Max’s shirt over your body, you wished you had time to at least put on a pair of panties. That was the last thought you spared before gripping the handrail of the stairs and shutting out everything but the task ahead of you. These men would not make it to the stairs, they would not make it to your bedroom, they would not make it to Max.

You timed it perfectly.

The billowing shirt caught the air as you leapt over the handrail and crashed feet first onto the man who had stepped into your path. He was lucky he didn’t look up because Max would have probably killed him for what be would have seen. Instead your heel connected with his head and he was a crumpled heap on the floor before you had even got back on your feet.

“She’s in here! You, find Verstappen and break his fucking hands.”

You dropped your hips low as you spun to face the voice behind you, tucking your head behind your forearms as a fist tried to kiss your cheek. The blow glanced off your arm but the crunch on knuckles on plastic rendered your smartwatch broken.

“Dick,” you growled as you lost the camera feed, and the position of the third asshole who had broken into your home. Angered even more so, you took the offensive and attacked.

The man was well trained as he dipped and dodged your 1-2 combo but he wasn’t expecting the furious headbutt you threw when he stepped in for a body shot. Light exploded behind your eyes as the man stumbled back with a groan before he stabilised himself with the wall.

“You’re a scrapper, aren’t you?” he laughed as he wiped the blood from his forehead before it ran into his eyes.

“Raised in the streets, sweetcheeks,” you smirked. If it wasn’t for the gin and adrenaline your head would probably be aching beyond belief but you couldn’t feel it just yet. “Who hired you?”

“I’m not going to tell you.”

“Worth a try,” you said with a shrug. “At least I know there’s no reason to leave any of you conscious.”

This time when the man attacked you didn’t try to stop him, you let him shove his weight into you and took him with you to the floor. Your knees caught his gut and when the momentum shifted, you pushed up with all your strength and sent him barreling into the solid oak front door. The wood cracked under the hit it took and you waited a moment to see if the man would rise.

A sound of annoyance rumbled from your throat as he tried to crawl on his knees and you shook your head. “You have one hard head, sweetcheeks.”

“Fuck. You,” he spat back, using the door handle to pull himself up.

“No, thanks,” you swung your knee up and knocked the air out of him, satisfied he wouldn’t be trying to get up again when he slumped to the floor. “I have taste.”

A shadow crossed the floor from the other end of the hall and you spun around to see the last assailant darting from the kitchen to the living room. Aiming to cut him off, you took the other archway into the large room and found him armed with a very expensive vase.

“We weren’t interrupting something, were we?” he asked as he eyed up the length of skin showing beneath Max’s shirt and you pulled the material back into place as you narrowed your eyes at him.

“Lucky for you we had just finished. If not, your friends would be dead.”

The vase was a gift from Max’s mother no less, and the man threw it at your head. You were torn between trying to catch it and self preservation but self preservation won as you slid out of the trajectory and it shattered across the living room floor. Shards went flying and Achilles hissed as he shot off the couch with the fright.

That’s when you saw red.

A sound akin to a warcry erupted from you as you ran and tackled the man around the waist, shoving your shoulder into his ribs as you both went down.

“You.” Your fist splattered blood across the carpet as it broke his nose. “Scared.” The skin on your knuckles split with a hard punch to the man’s side. “My.” Your nose wrinkled at the sound of his ribs cracking. “Cat!” You fell back on your heels panting as the man struggled to breathe.

The rapid thumping of feet running down the stairs had you rushing back to your feet thinking there was a fourth intruder but it was Max who skidded around the corner.

“You’re meant to wait for me,” you said as the fight left you exhausted and you swayed on your feet.

His arms were there to catch you and he scooped you off your feet and he kissed your sweaty forehead. “I heard you scream.”

“They scared Achilles,” you said with a wince at the touch and he pulled back, his eyes widening as he saw the swelling of the bruise beginning.

“You’re hurt.” The living room gave way to the kitchen and Max placed you on the countertop as he grabbed the first aid kit from under the bench.

“I might have a headache.”

“Stop being so tough,” he warned as he cracked the rapid ice pack open and placed it to your head. “Brett’s on his way, so is Christian.”

You bit your lip as he wiped your knuckles with disinfectant and the alcohol burned the cuts before he gently wrapped them with gauze.

“Does this mean we have to move?” he asked as he stepped between your legs and took over holding the ice pack in place. It was almost hard to imagine that on the other side of the wall there were three men unconscious when he stood in such an intimate position.

Your head snapped back to look him in the eyes. “No, this is my home. I’ll be damned if I let anyone take that away from me again.”

He swallowed before nodding in agreement. “Okay, then teach me to fight.”

Your eyebrows shot up your forehead and you winced as it sparked fresh pain. “What?”

“This is our home. I’m not going to let you defend it alone, again.” He pressed a quick kiss to your lips as the doorbell rang and Brett called out. “This is my fight too.”

“Your fight with Ferrari is out on the track.”

“Not anymore.”

Click here for chapter seven.

Tagging: @octaviareina @omgsuperstarg @mvclff1 @alwaysclassyeagle @icantcomeupwithamusicalname-blog @laneyspaulding19 @booknerd2004-blog @mimimarvelingmarvel @chonkybonky @vita-di-moda @formulas-bitch @untitled1279

[mins-fins]

heart attack

&&. there's something hilarious about the beautiful doctor there to help with your terrible habits.

pairing: qian kun x gn!reader

genre: fluff

warnings: mentions of overworking, mentions of passing out & hospitalization

word count: 0.9k

notes: this….. THISSS💔💔💔 this drabble was very inspired by the thai movie heart attack (a movie that has no right being as cute as it is) kun fits the part so well because first.. doctor kun, and second.. kun is so amazing, i love kun, we all fucking love kun 😿 this is a early bday gift for user junjiie bc we all know he loves kun (happy early bday pookie ily) this is insanely self indulgent because i have slept less than three hours in these past five days and have been working myself to shit because.. med school!! yayyyyyyy!! im so excited!! (is not excited)

"so what's the matter with you?"

the usual roughness that would lace the voice of a medical professional is replaced by the softness you would feel of pillows, you glance up, meeting the eyes of the beautiful man before you. you stare, forgetting where you are for a moment, the exhaustion rendering you speechless.

but it's a whisper in your head that reminds you of where you are, and you flinch. "oh— i um.. there's these rashes appearing on my body".

"okay" he mutters, clicking his tongue and pen in unison. "and where exactly?"

"my arms, my neck.." he hums, pulling up your sleeve to check out what you told him. "also there are some on my fingers".

he bites into his inner cheek, much too close for the sake of your heart. he then glances up, examining your face through his glasses. "you haven't been getting any sleep" he snaps his fingers in your direction, letting go of you and turning back to his computer.

you respond with a dry chuckle, too tired to even try to add emotion. "and you know that how?"

"i can see it in your eyes, those dark circles aren't doing you justice" he sucks his teeth as he types out something. "what's your occupation?"

it isn't strange that he's curious, just answer the question.

you shake your head, mind all over the place. "i work in graphic design".

"ohhh" he doesn't exactly seem surprised. "freelance?"

you nod.

his eyebrows join together. "how does an editing job have you so tired?"

you let out a breath, too exhausted to allow a laugh. "it's a twenty four hour thing, if i'm awake at all times i function better".

"you're barely functioning now".

"well you're a doctor, you always tell people the obvious" you sigh, closing your eyes to try and recollect the many hours of sleep you lost. "i'm sure you aren't any better than me.."

"i'd be inclined to disagree".

you open one eye, staring at the pretty doctor who types away on his computer, catching you in his peripheral vision. (eyes you don't notice due to your lethargy making you less disposed to).

"when was the last time you slept?"

your throat goes dry, your senses reduced to the clear fatigue. you could simply lie, how would he even know? there's no way dr. qian is a psychic, that would be freaky, you're sure it would be nightmarish if that were the case.

there's an indecipherable glimmer in his eye, one that would scare you in regular circumstances where you were fully awake. it's as if he knows you're going to lie, your attempt at fib crawls down your throat before it can even escape your lips. "five days ago".

his reaction is serene, much too calm for your situation. "five days ago.. and how many hours did you sleep?"

your brain is foggy, you almost blurt the number 'six', but that's simply your default response when people ask. why would you ever lie to a doctor?..and the cute doctor especially?

you pause at the wave of your thoughts. what do you mean he's cute?

it's simply common sense, y/n. don't you like smart guys?

you would probably attribute it to your terrible sleep deprivation if it weren't true. you can't deny that the man before you is simply so attractive it should be illegal, he's absolutely gorgeous, how can a regular doctor be so beautiful? you might fall over, not from your lack of sleep, but from the eyes of the man who stares with such care.

"like.. three?"

your voice scratches as you recall the last time you 'slept', he hums, clicking his pen as he notes the information down. he turns in his rolling chair, scooting closer to you. "you mind if i see your hands?"

you can't even put up a fight, you're just about to give into your own exhaustion. you put your hands out for him, and dr. qian takes your hands in his own, examining the rashes which litter your fingers. he's close, so close, you can admire each of his facial features with amazing certainty. everything about him is beautiful, his cheeks, his eyes, the curves of his lips, it's all beautiful, it should be a crime for such a man to exist.

"that's an issue.. have you taken medication for sleep before?" you shake your head, and his fingers slip from yours.

"alright.. i'm going to put you on doxylamine" he mumbles, getting back to noting down your state. you begin scratching at the rashes on your fingers, and he snaps: "don't scratch it".

you move your hands apart rather quickly, his tone of voice intimidating you enough that you pause. he's much too convincing.

he points at you. "tonight, and this next month onward, you sleep before nine o'clock every single day".

you uncharacteristically snicker. "do you sleep before nine o'clock every single day?"

he raises an eyebrow, amused by the question. "i'm the doctor, i know best".

"of course".

"you'll end up dead if you keep going at this rate, take your medication, sleep before nine every day, then check back in with me next month".

"if i'm not available, can i reschedule?"

the question is simply meant to be comedic, you're just about to pass out, trying to sneak in a last minute joke before having to leave the office of the cute doctor. he leans his arm against the desk, smiling at you. "don't reschedule, i want to see you".

and you clearly weren't expecting those words, because your cheeks flare up.

see y/n? you do like smart guys.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

What To Get A 19 Year Old Boy For His Birthday...

Pairing: Platonic! Peter Parker & Reader; Reader x Bucky (but that's not really plot relevant)

Word Count: 2.4k

Warnings: none as usual, you yell at Strange lol

Genre: super fluff

Summary: You happen to be the only person who still remembers Peter Parker exists and you are not about to hang him out to dry. So what happens when you take Peter in and basically become his guardian? Well- nothing is simple where super-teens are involved, but you and Peter can certainly handle whatever comes your way. Right?

***

You from to yourself, feeling like you're forgetting something even though you're just watching TV with Bucky. There's nothing to forget that you can-

"Oh shit-" You gasp sitting up suddenly. Bucky grabs the remote and turns the volume down.

"What?" He frowns shifting to look at you.

"I just realized Peter's birthday's next week and I haven't even thought of what to get him or what to do or-"

"Take a breath y/n. You still have a week." Bucky reminds you with a hand on your shoulder.

"What do I get a nineteen year old boy for his birthday?" You turn to him.

"Why are you asking me?" He blinks.

"You're a guy!"

"I'm a hundred and seven?! I haven't been nineteen in like eighty years, do you really think I would have any idea what a modern teen would want? I can guarantee my interests at nineteen were far different." He scoffs.

"Well what did you want at nineteen?" You ask.

"To avoid another world war?" He shrugs and your mouth drops open.

"I can't fucking stand you." You laugh shoving him lightly.

"Oh come on, how could I resist?!"

"You're so irritating! Be serious." You say fighting giggles.

"Alright, alright, what's the kid interested in?"

"I dunno, comic books, video games, nerdy stuff?" You shrug.

"I've never seen him play video games before." Bucky frowns.

"He plays them on his computer."

"He doesn't have a gaming system of some sort?"

"No?"

"Do you own one?"

"No."

"So get him one of those and a couple of games." Bucky shrugs.

"That's a great idea! And you said you wouldn't know what to get him." You smile.

"I'm sure you could've figured that out."

"You'll come shopping with me won't you? I have no idea what games to get for him honestly."

"How about you take care of the system and I'll worry about the games. Split the cost of this birthday thing."

"What do you mean you're going to worry about the games?" You frown.

"Just trust me. How much is the system anyway?"

"Probably three, maybe four hundred dollars. Depends."

"Sheesh. That's- pricier than I expected honestly." He hums.

"Yeah they can get pretty up there." You shrug.

"Alright then if you buy the system I'll take the kid out and get him an equivalent in games."

"You really wanna spend $600 on his birthday?" You blink.

"I mean he's lost his entire family and he never goes anywhere or talks of friends, we're probably the only people he's going to get gifts from. We can take some of the money from the Stark account." Bucky says. When Tony died there were a couple of accounts set up in your name to take over Avengers related expenses. One to be used for the team's avenging related tasks and one to help the team with personal affects- mostly Thor since he'll likely never have a job here but he's not here that much these days anyway.

"I don't want to get into the habit of using that money, in case of an emergency." You say.

"Baby, you're a witch and I'm a super soldier I can't imagine there will be many emergencies where that money is our only solution. Stark died and we ended up with enough money to change our tax bracket. Six hundred dollars would hardly make a dent and if ever we're in a situation where we do have to use that money for an emergency and we find ourselves $600 short I'm sure neither of us will look back and say 'if only we hadn't given that kid we're responsible for a great birthday gift he loved'." Bucky says.

"Very well, we'll use the Stark account and do it big for him." You say.

"There- now you can stop panicking about his birthday." Bucky pulls you back into his side and turns the volume back up on the TV. You don't point out to Bucky how it seems he's bonded with Peter a bit. At least to some degree since he's suddenly advocating for a big birthday gift for him. You know he'll deny it if you bring it up so you simply smile to yourself at the thought and settle back into his chest. You'll head to the store tomorrow to pick up a console and some birthday supplies.

*~*~*

"Bucky can you grab the candles from the bedroom please baby? They should be in the bag on my desk." You shout while carefully removing the plastic covering from Peter's birthday cake.

"On it!" Bucky calls back from the living room. Moments later, he hands you the opened candles.

"Thank you for opening them." You kiss his cheek and carefully stick the 1 and 9 on the cake without disturbing the Happy Birthday Peter written in blue frosting.

"How long do you think it'll take him to come back?" Bucky asks.

"I only asked him to get some salt, he should be opening the door any minute now." You shrug. "Do you think he suspects anything?"

"Nah, I'll bet when you didn't wish him happy birthday this morning or make anything special for breakfast that he assumed we didn't know or weren't going to make a big deal about it."

"Oh- I hope he's not moping through the streets thinking we forgot." You frown.

"I mean I don't-" Bucky stops suddenly. "He's coming down the hall, light the candles." He tells you. You grab the lighter and quickly light the candles, lifting the cake just as the handle turns.

"Hey. Got the salt you asked for-"

"Happy Birthday Peter!!" You shout when he enters the kitchen.

"Happy birthday kid." Bucky nods.

"You remembered my birthday?"

"Of course I did sweetie! Make a wish." You walk the cake over to him and hold it out for him to blow out the candles. He looks between you and Bucky a couple of times before closing his eyes and blowing out the candles quickly.

"Yay!" You say setting the cake on the counter.

"Thanks guys- I- I kinda thought you'd miss it."

"Nonsense! How could I? Oh and before I forget, your gift." You float the prettily wrapped box from behind the island, into the Peter's hands.

"What is it?"

"You know the point of wrapping a gift is for you to unwrap it in order to find out what's in it." Bucky tells him.

"I know- but I thought maybe you'd tell me anyway." Peter shrugs.

"No way! That ruins the surprise! Open it." You clap excitedly.

"Alright alright." Peter says. He quickly tears off the wrapping paper and his mouth drops open when he fully reveals the box. "You got me an Xbox?" His voice is full of disbelief but you can't say for sure if that's good or not.

"Do you like it?" You ask.

"A-are you kidding?! This is like the best gift I've ever gotten!" Peter says throwing his arms around you. You hug him back relieved that the gift was a success.

"I'm glad! Bucky and I had no idea what to get you." You chuckle.

"You did great." He says.

"This is only the first half of the gift technically. A console needs games, so I'm taking you out to buy some." Bucky adds.

"No way- you don't have to this is already plenty I-I mean these things aren't cheap I don't wanna take advantage of-"

"It's not a question kid, we're going. After lunch." Bucky cuts him off.

"Really? Today?" Peter blinks at him.

"You wanna be able to set that thing up or not?"

"We'll go after lunch." Peter nods. "Are you coming with us y/n?"

"I can't hon I've got some errands to run." You say.

"I hoped we'd all be together for my birthday."

"Don't worry, we'll all be back for dinner together."

"Oh, okay, that's fine then."

He's probably nervous about spending extended time alone with Bucky but you think it'll be good for them to find common ground that's not contingent on you. Obviously, they're capable of coordinating if your anniversary is any indicator. You want to give them the chance to build on that.

In the meanwhile, you have something of equal importance to take care of. You push open the heavy doors to Stephen Strange's lair. He doesn't call it that, and he rather hates it when you do, but that's basically what it is.

"Strange!" You shout.

"Y/n! Hello, to what do I owe this visit?" He asks floating down to meet you. You walk up to him and smack your palm against his forehead. "I guess this isn't a friendly visit then." He hisses rubbing his forehead.

"Not quite." You roll your eyes. A quick succession of hand gestures completes the spell that unlocks Stephen's memories of Peter. He takes a sharp breath as his memories return.

"You know- there are less painful ways do that spell." He says after a moment.

"There are also more painful ways to do that spell be glad I just tapped your forehead." You say.

"Tapped is a bit of an understatement, don't you think?"

"I wanted to beat your ass. Count your blessings I didn't come in here and do that."

"I assume this is about Peter, then?" Stephen sighs.

"Help me with the math here, a 17-year-old comes to you and says 'I want to alter reality' and you don't consider- not doing that?"

"Well hang on I definitely warned him it was a bad idea but he was insistent that it was ruining his life."

"Dude he was 17. A 17 year old will think the world is ending because his best friend moves away before senior year of high school. Granted he's dealt with some pretty intense adult troubles but he's still just a kid and you're like pushing 50 he isn't the responsible party in that situation." You say.

"Watch it, pushing 50 is an exaggeration." Stephen points.

"Not. The point. You altered the very fabric of time and space not once, but twice at the behest of a child."

"It wouldn't have been twice if he hadn't totally screwed up the first one."

"You're the sorcerer not him. It was your spell. Your responsibility." You say.

"Hey he kept adding caveats in the middle of my casting and magic is tricky enough as is without that."

"I know how tricky magic is, which is why I wouldn't have an untrained teenager be part of casting a spell of that magnitude in the first place! It was a bad decision on your part and in the end you got to walk away as if it never even happened. And that might be even more egregious, you completely abandoned the kid after all that chaos."

"Well not completely, I knew the probability of you being unaffected by the spell and thus stepping in was almost 100%."

"Almost 100 isn't 100 and that's still abandoning. The moment you decided to do that spell for him you took on a responsibility." You say.

"So what was I supposed to do? Simply take him in?" He scoffs.

"Well when you take away his entire support system with a spell that is the least you can do Strange."

"He knew the consequences, and it all worked out fine. He's got you now." He shrugs.

"I wonder if you just don't hear yourself speak or if you truly struggle with emotional intelligence so severely." You take a moment to really look at him as if the answer will come to you if you stare at him for long enough. "Whatever, I didn't come here just to yell at you."

"Really? I couldn't have guessed that."

"Today is Peter's birthday. I came to fix your memories so you could send him a birthday card." You say.

"Why would I do that?" He frowns.

"Because your botched spell resulted in the death of his only remaining living relative? We're all he's got."

"Hey I fixed that situation to the best of my ability."

"And it didn't bring his aunt back. It also cost him every relationship he's ever developed. Send him a damn card. Today." You spin around and walk back towards the door. "Be glad I won't drop him on your doorstep. He doesn't deserve that punishment." You scoff, waving the doors open and heading back towards your own apartment to get started on dinner. 

"So how did game shopping go?" You ask Bucky and Peter once you're all sat eating dinner.

"Oh we got way more than I would've expected. Mr. Bucky was overly generous I just hope it's clear how greatful I am."

"You've thanked me at least 10 times in the last hour. You've been more than clear kid. It's your birthday so you can stop now."

"I'm glad you had a nice time." You chuckle.

"What did you get up to while we were out baby?" Bucky asks.

"Just some errands nothing interesting." You shrug.

"Nothing interesting?" He raises an eyebrow.

"A little of this a little of that. My to-do list never ends really. Some shopping, I hit the bank, made some visits. You know how it goes."

"I dunno about you but that sounds rather suspicious to me Peter." Bucky turns to him.

"Definitely." Peter nods.

"I clearly made a mistake letting you two spend the afternoon together." You roll your eyes grabbing yours and Peter's now empty plates.

"We will discover your secrets y/n." Bucky warns.

"Good luck with that." You chuckle kissing Bucky's temple before walking the dishes over to the sink.

"Oh no you don't, you cooked, I'll do the dishes." Bucky wraps his hands around your waist and moves you from in front of the sink.

"Fine fine, Petey you want help setting up your Xbox then?" You ask.

"Sure! Is it okay to set it up in my room?"

"Of course it is. It's your thing. Plus if you end up playing all day long I don't want you taking over my living room." You tap his shoulder.

"Cool." He chuckles.

It doesn't take you long to set up the system in his room, it's just a matter of plugging in it and then the rest is for him to do on his own, make an account and such. You're just about to leave his room when a small portal appears in front of him.

"Peter. Happy birthday." Strange says reaching through with a card. You hold back a smile as Peter takes the card with obvious shock on his face.

"T-thanks Mr. Strange." Peter says. Stephen nods and closes the portal without another word.

"I didn't think he remembered me." Peter blinks at you.

"The world works in mysterious was huh." You ruffle Peter's hair. "I'll leave you to get used to your new toy." You add before exiting his room and joining Buckyin the living room.

"Okay, so where did you go today? Really?"

"Honestly I had to go yell at Strange for some magic related things." You say.

"What did he do?"

"It's complicated. Let's just say it'll be a while before I leave our timeline in his hands if ever again." You muse.

"Ah is that why you didn't bring it up at dinner? So the kid doesn't ask about Strange?"

"Yeah basically." You shrug. You're sure Bucky means in terms of Peter not knowing that you're an Avenger or whatever but seeing as you can't explain the real reason you didn't want to talk about it at dinner you see no reason to correct him at the moment. Eventually you'll give him all the details, but today has been good for all of you, you'd like to end on a high.

***

Tagged Users: @mrsbuckybarnes1917 @buchi91

[mariposa-writes]

Good Sleep - LaMelo Ball

Summary: hate writing these, so just read and find out.

A/N: This man is the love of my life (and his brothers).

It was hard, dating an NBA player. Not that it was Melo's fault. He tried to make things as easy as possible. He called whenever he could, making sure to at least check in on me once a day.

It wasn't like I made things any easier. I took a lot of pride in my job and it felt like a lot of the time when he was home, I was busy working.

Which is what I am currently doing. Its around midnight, when I hear the garage open, I know it's Melo. His team was supposed to get back earlier tonight, but their flight got delayed due to weather.

After a few minutes he enters our room. I moved in with him a 6 months ago, since I practically lived there full time anyways. We both also thought it would be a good way to spend more time together.

"Hey, babe." He says walking over to me and giving me a quick kiss on the lips. He heads into our bathroom, getting ready to shower. He hates how he feels after plane rides, always complaining about being dirty. "What are you working on?" He calls from the bathroom.

"Just work stuff." I respond, not having the time to explain. I have to have these reports ready by Monday. I'm a CFO for a major clothing company in the US. We are currently working on expanding to European countries.

Melo showers while I work and before I know it he's climbing into bed. "Babe," He whines, "when are you going to bed?"

"I don't know, soon." I answer, dismissively. He frowns, looking up at me from where he's laying.

"You work to hard. Your not even 22 and your the CFO for a major company. I worry you're gonna work yourself to death." Melo's always hated how hard I work. We've been dating since we were both 19.

I was getting ready to graduate college, when he was getting drafted into the NBA. Being born a genius helped me fast track my schooling and career.

I started interning with the company I currently work at when I was 17, the summer after my junior year. I started working with them when they were just a start up, but in the past four years they have rapidly grown and I've been a part of the process the whole way.

This company is like my baby and I'm the one that has to track everything to make sure we are achieving our goals. I never intended on working here this long, but I love the people I work with (the pay isn't bad either).

They promoted me to CFO when their old one left to work for a bigger company. What an idiot, they didn't have believe in the company and soon ours will be bigger than the one they are working for.

Three hours later and I'm still working, Melo's passed out. After he fell asleep I headed to the office he set up for me, not wanting to wake him.

I have a blanket wrapped around me, with my headphones in and a cup of hot chocolate sitting on the desk. Once I get this done, I'll be on Monday and present to our investors I will be on vacation for the next 9 days.

I haven't told Melo yet, wanting to surprise him since our schedules rarely line up.

I look up from my computer, when I see the hallway light turn on. I take my headphones out, knowing it's Melo. He walks into my office, frowning. "Babe, go to bed." He groans.

"Ok, just give me a few minutes."

"Nope, you always say that and then a few minutes turn into another hour or two and then you're only getting like 2 hours of sleep before you head into the office." He walks over and shuts my laptop, before pulling me out of the chair.

I whine and protest the whole way back to our bed, but he doesn't seem to care. He makes me lay down and tucks me in like I'm a little kid, before climbing in bed next to me.

Once he's in bed his, arm wraps around my waist as he pulls me closer resting his head on my stomach. "Finally, I can sleep now."

"You've been asleep this whole time." I argue.

"Yea, but now I'll get good sleep. I only get good sleep when you're with me." I smile, even though he can't see me. I continue playing with his hair, before we both drift of to sleep in each other's arms.

[larkral]

Blargh! I need a new header, except that my most recent OS update on my computer has end-of-life'd my long-term relationship with a once-purchased full Adobe suite, so I both have to find a new photo editing program AND learn to use it? Travail upon travail.

ANYWAY thanks for the tags today to @kiwiana-writes @run-for-chamo-miles @monbons @you-remind-me-of-the-babe and @shrekgogurt (squeaking just at the arbitrary tumbr per-paragraph tag limit. PHEW) I am continually delighted by all the snippets people are sharing. Why oh why are there things I have to do with my time that aren't "write and read fanfiction"?

Anyway! One of those things this week was to trace a mural on my daughter's wall. I was...perhaps too ambitious with the design, but we'll get there eventually. This is the traced mural!

I've also been writing a bit!

Eight (sorry not sorry) sentences from Finally (already, always):

"It's fine," he says, "I get it." Then he sits on my bed next to me and tugs my wand from my hand to set it on the nightstand. He presses his thigh to mine to nudge me over. "You know I don't think I've ever heard my dad say the word vampire? Before this summer, I mean. I don't know why. It's not like we haven't always known. Even Mordelia knows, and she's four."

And Six sentences of FirstPrince Soulmate BS, because if you read my last line this week you deserve to know a bit more context. :D

"Oh," Beatrice says on seeing Alex. "My apologies. We were planning on joining you for supper." She turns to Henry, "Did you not tell him?"  "No," Henry says with a quizzical expression, "I did." "Thought you were just being polite," Alex responds as he closes his laptop and stands.

Tagging everyone below the cut even though it's late, because I want to start your Mondays off right, and I'm claiming the ability to brighten your day. Humor me. :D

@stitchyqueer @confused-bi-queer @raenestee @facewithoutheart @whogaveyoupermission

@cutestkilla @hushed-chorus @sillyunicorn @wellbelesbian @basiltonbutliketheherb

@ileadacharmedlife @asocialpessimist @bookish-bogwitch @aristocratic-otter @captain-aralias

@petedavidsonscock @artsyunderstudy @carryonvisinata @takenabackbytuesdays @martsonmars

@nausikaaa @nightimedreamersghost @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @ionlydrinkhotwater @that-disabled-princess

@palimpsessed @fatalfangirl​ @blackberrysummerblog​ @valeffelees @mooncello

@j-nipper-95 @youarenevertooold @emeryhall @talentpiper11 @roomwithanopenfire

@imagineacoolusername @orange-peony @thewholelemon

<3 <3 <3

[lucidlivi]

Chosen For Pleasure (V)

Series Masterlist/Warnings

Taglist: @ladysparkles78 @suckitands33 @little-x-wolf @stoneyggirl2 @creative-writing92 @jc-winchester @mrsjenniferwinchester @lessons-of-red @jamerlynn (if you would like to be added to the list please send me a message as it is easier for me to keep track that way!)

ROUGH JENSEN COMING UP.

J: do you have an answer for me?

: not yet.

****************************************************

J: it's been two days, I'm growing old here?

: here's something you've probably never been told before... be patient.

J: you're right, I've never been told that, I'm used to getting what I want... and I want this arrangement, and I want it with you.

: must get boring..

****************************************************

J: four days now, have you thought anymore about it?

I sighed reading Jensen's text.

He was persistent that's for sure.

I haven't seen him since he dropped me off the other day but he's been texting me ever since. He was used to getting everything he wanted, and something told me he's never had to pursue a woman before. I bit my lip before typing a reply.

: yeah I've thought about it, and it's been fun....

I waited for Jensen to reply but it never came.

I felt a little guilty about sending that. Of course I was joking. But he was going to have to work a little harder.

I sighed before grabbing my computer to work on the edits for next months pictures. Gray gave me a raise, appointing me the official senior editor for the magazine. I've been avoiding him at work when I can, still feeling slightly uncomfortable from our conversation a few days ago, although he hasn't said anything bizarre since.

Stella and Matt have been seeing each other everyday now so she's been more absent lately. She didn't pry too much about Jensen. She can just sense when things aren't okay with me.

I tried my best to continue editing but my mind was too distracted. A loud pounding on our door pulled me out of my trance. I hopped up off the floor, sauntering over to the it.

It was probably just Stella forgetting her key like always.

I opened the door, shocked to find Jensen standing on the other side. He pushed in running a hand over his chin, huffing in frustration.

"uh come in.'" I laughed.

He turned to me, a scolding but lustful look on his face.

"It's been fun really?" He asked approaching me.

I bit my lip smirking up at him.

Boy could I really push his buttons.

He leaned down whispering in my ear.

"Let me just remind you how fun it is."

Before I could respond Jensen pushed me up against the wall, his lips attacking my neck. He roughly sucked on a spot making a gasp escape my lips.

"is this fun?" He asked before kissing my jaw roughly.

His hands went under my shirt, practically ripping it away from my body.

I forgot how good he was at this.

I moaned, my hands finding the buttons of his dress shirt, hungrily undoing them. I slipped his shirt off, biting my lip at his toned chest. My bra was the next thing to go. He immediately kissed down to my breasts while his hands worked my leggings down my legs.

"are you having fun yet?" He growled.

"hmm not yet" I pushed.

I could see his jaw clench at my words.

He picked me up setting me on the counter before pushing me back flat. He ripped my underwear at the side causing them to fall away.

Fuck he was strong.

His head dipped down between my legs, his breath fanning over my heat.

"Jensen Please." I begged.

At my words he peppered kisses all around my core, using his tongue to enhance the pleasure. I found my hands make their way to his hair, tugging on the ends. Moans fell from my lips as he worked his tongue on me devouring me hungrily. He inserted two fingers, working them in and out roughly.

"is it fun now?"

As he said that he pushed his fingers in deeper making me omit a breathy moan.

"so fucking fun" I said between breaths.

Jensen stood up stripping his jeans and boxers. Without warning he picked me up wrapping my legs around his waist, lowering me on to him. I whimpered at the contact, forgetting how big he was.

He carried me over to the couch, laying us down.

He pulled out before slamming in to me roughly. My hands gripped his shoulders, nails digging in to his skin. His thrusts getting more rough with each snap of his hips. I could feel the anger rolling off of him as he groaned.

"fuck what are you doing to me?" Jensen questions as his thrusts start to become sloppy signifying he's close to his release.

"Jensen please." I panted nearing my release as well.

A few more snaps of his hips had Jensen and I both exploding with pleasure. He collapses on top of me, laying his head on my chest, trying to slow his breathing. I put my hands in his hair absentmindedly playing with it.

"I meant it" He said glancing up at me.

I gave him a confused look.

"what the hell are you doing to me?" He asked.

"making you work for it." I said biting my lip.

He sighed bringing his head back down to rest on my chest.

"why don't you kiss on the lips?" I asked him.

He shifted uncomfortably before raising his head again.

"it's uh an intimacy thing for me." He said simply without explanation.

"you have kissed someone before though right?"

"yes, one person."

"and..?" I pushed trying to get him to elaborate.

He was quiet for a minute.

"I uh should get going." He said pushing off of me and standing up.

I quickly sat up too.

"I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." I said biting my lip.

Jensen was a private guy, I quickly figured out he didn't let many people in on what goes on in his head. He was closed off emotionally. I felt bad for pushing him, but I was trying hard to understand why he was the way that he was.

"It's not because of that." He assured running his hand down my cheek.

"but you don't want to talk about it."

"no I don't." He said sternly.

He grabbed his boxers and jeans pulling them back over his thick thighs.

"okay fine, we don't have to, but that doesn't mean you have to leave.. you could stay the night?" I questioned hopeful.

Jensen had something about him that made me want him around, even if this meant a little more to me than it did to him.

"I told you, I don't sleep with anyone."

It was like as soon as we took one step forward we took two steps back at the same time.

"but I'll be around to get you tomorrow for Jared's dinner." He said finishing the buttons on his shirt.

"wait you want me to go?"

"he invited you didn't he." Jensen said leaning over to place a kiss on my forehead.

I bit my lip nodding while watching him walk to the door.

"I'll see you tomorrow." He said giving me a small smile before walking out.

I groaned throwing my head back against the sofa.

What the hell did I get myself in to?

One minute Jensen was amazing, and the next he could be completely closed off.

I heard my phone ringing from the end table. I picked it up seeing mom flashing on the screen. I hadn't talked to her since everything with Jensen started, being so preoccupied, I neglected her.

"hey mama, sorry I've been preoccupied." I said answering.

I just needed to hear her voice.

"I've heard you got a new friend?" She questioned.

"how'd you... Stella?"

"she actually picks up the phone when I call, but I want to let you know I'm happy for you, although I would've much rather heard it from you." She said cheerily.

"I'm sorry mama." I said feeling the emotions wash over me.

I could feel the tears brim around my eyes. My emotions were on overload. I was so confused about how I felt.

"he is making you happy isn't he darling?"

"yeah mama, it's just complicated." I said wiping a stray tear that escaped.

"love is never easy baby." she comforted.

I missed her voice, her soothing words.

"I miss you mama."

"well you know you're always welcome here baby, that's actually what I was calling you about, I'd like you to come out to California, there's uh somebody I want you to meet."

"somebody to meet?" I inquired.

"Richard." she spoke softly.

"you met someone?" I beamed happy for her.

It had been a long time since she seemed this happy. Dad took a big piece of her with him when he died.

"at the country club, he's uh really good for me, and I wanted you to meet him."

"I'd be happy to mom, how about this weekend?"

"it's a date! just remember my love, you're amazing, and if this guy is right for you, things will work out, and if he's not well you owe it to yourself to take care of you." she said going in to mom mode.

"I love you mama, I can't wait to meet Richard."

"I love you too baby."

...........................................................................................

I sighed fixing my hair in the mirror. Jensen would be here any minute to pick me up and I was a nervous wreck. I was going to be in Jared Padalecki's house with some of the cast from Supernatural. I groaned, as I couldn't get this piece of my hair to lay just right.

"need some help with that?" Stella asked me standing in the doorway to the bathroom.

"please." I pouted.

she came over fixing my part in my hair, laying the pieces flat.

"there, now some lipgloss and you'll be good to go." she said uncapping her favorite gloss, swiping it on my lips.

"thanks, Stell" I whispered pulling her in for a hug.

"of course, it's not everyday my best friend gets to hang out with a bunch of celebrities." she smirked.

"I'm so nervous I think I'm going to be sick." I whispered looking at my reflection in the mirror.

"I mean I could totally go in your place, Jared is a total snack." Stella said laughing.

"hmm too bad he's married, and you're taken." I said joining in her laughter.

our doorbell rang, signaling Jensen had arrived. I could feel the nerves creeping up again.

"relax, everything will be fine." Stella whispered pushing me towards the door.

I opened it, seeing Jensen in a dress shirt and jeans. He took in my appearance giving me a smile.

"ready to go?"

"uh not really, but yeah." I said laughing.

Jensen grabbed my hand, offering Stella a quick wave. He of course brought the bright red ferrari. He opened the door for me allowing me to slip in.

"so when you said some of the cast of supernatural will be there, how many are we talking?" I asked nervously fidgeting.

"just me, Jared, Misha, both Mark's Jeff, Richard, and Genevieve of course. He shrugged.

"and who do they think I am?" I questioned, unsure of what I should introduce myself as.

"my date."

I couldn't fight the smile that made its way on to my face.

It was quite the drive to Jared's place but it was peaceful. I felt the nerves calm but immediately resurface as we pulled in to his driveway. His house was beautiful, nowhere as big as Jensen's but beautiful nevertheless.

"are you sure I should be going in there?" I asked nervously fidgeting.

I wasn't sure I belonged at this get together.

"relax, we're just regular people." Jensen said getting out of the car.

"believe me there's nothing regular about you." I whispered under my breath.

I hesitantly got out of the car meeting Jensen's side. He grabbed my hand intertwining our fingers and giving my hand a squeeze. It did calm my nerves a bit. Jared met us at the door followed by his wife.

"was worried you forgot about me again." Jared joked hugging Jensen.

"(y/n), nice to see you again." Jared said surprising me with a hug.

"how are you Jensen?" Genevieve asked hugging him.

"and you must be (y/n), I'm Genevieve, it's lovely to meet you." she said smiling and giving me a hug too.

she was so sweet, no wonder the fans loved her.

"come on in, the rest of guys are already here." Jared said smiling.

I put on a brave face masking my nerves. Jensen was met with hugs by each of his former cast mates. I stood off to the side.

okay I definitely didn't belong here.

"and who's this pretty young thing?"

"this is (y/n), my date." Jensen introduced.

"what's wrong with her? darling don't you know this man's a dumbass?"

I choked back a laugh as Jensen rolled his eyes.

"I'm Jeffery, you can call me Jeff." He introduced, placing a kiss to my hand.

Of course I already knew who he was, I didn't want to come off as creepy though.

"nice to meet you." I smiled.

"can I just say you have a beautiful smile." He complimented.

I could see Jensen roll his eyes again.

"alright, we're good here Jeff." Jensen said grabbing my hand and pulling me away from him.

I laughed looking back at Jeff to see him smirking.

"you know he's just trying to get under your skin right?" I asked glancing up at Jensen.

"yeah well it's working.." he huffed.."come on I want you to meet Misha."

I made my way around talking to each of the guys there. Misha, Jared, and Jeff were my favorite by far, the way they teased Jensen made me laugh. I was definitely more calm now.

Jensen was right they were just regular people at the end of the day. I was sipping on a glass of wine while Misha and Jared teased Jensen some more.

"hey (y/n), could you give me some help with something quickly?" Genevieve asked from the kitchen.

Jensen gave me a wary look as I walked to her.

"of course how can I help."

"could you help me set the table for dinner?" she asked sweetly.

"I'd love too."

I grabbed some plates and silverware starting to set them out on the table.

"It's so refreshing to see Jensen bring somebody around, he never really does." she said setting glasses filled with water and wine glasses on the table.

Wow. I felt my pulse increase, the heat go to my cheeks.

"really, never?" I asked still in shock.

"he's a complex guy." she said laughing.

"you can say that again." I said laughing too.

our laughter quieted down, our focus going back to setting the table.

"but he's a good guy, yah know underneath all that hostility and complexity." she spoke up.

I nodded my head agreeing with her. I've seen it myself. It's just pulling it out of him is the hard part.

"and you must be pretty special for him to bring you around." she added.

I bit my lip blushing as we finished setting the table. I was about to respond when Jensen and Jared walked in the dining room.

"we heard laughing, what are you plotting?" Jared asked wrapping his arms around Gen, kissing her lips.

Jensen grabbed my hand once again intertwining our fingers.

"no plotting, I was just telling (y/n) how refreshing it is to see Jensen with a woman, we haven't since.." Genevieve started but Jared quickly cut her off.

"I'm starving baby, dinner ready yet?" He asked sneaking a glance at Jensen, but of course I saw it.

"uh yeah, everyone have a seat." she called.

I couldn't help the uneasy feeling that washed over me. Jensen clearly didn't want me to know about his past. The question was why? Also did everyone in the room know but me? Jensen and I took our seats, I dropped his hand, bringing both hands to my lap.

"problem?" Jensen whispered in my ear.

"not at all." I lied easily.

Jensen looked as if he didn't believe me. He instead placed a hand on my knee slowly sliding it up under my dress to my thigh.

"so (y/n), what do you do?" Misha asked taking a bite of his salmon Gen had prepared.

"I'm a photographer, and now senior editor for a magazine." I said smiling as I nibbled on the asparagus.

"ooh so you can totally help me with my social media game." Genevieve said laughing.

"yeah I would be happy to."

"so Jensen said you lived in Laredo, do you live there with your family?" Misha asked a follow up question.

"uh no, I live with my roommate Stella. My dad passed away when I was a little girl, and my mom lives in California. I'm actually planning on going out this weekend to see her.” I said giving him a smile.

I could feel Jensen's grip on my thigh get tighter. Dinner conversation was thankfully deflected away from me. I noticed that Jensen was unnaturally quiet for the rest of the meal.

"problem?" I whispered in his ear, in the same tone he'd taken with me earlier.

He only squeezed my thigh as a response, listening to Mark Sheppard who was telling a story.

"who's ready for dessert?" Genevieve asked when Mark was done with his story.

"would you please excuse us for a second?" Jensen asked standing up and grabbing my hand to pull me up.

I allowed him to pull me out of the house in to the driveway. He started walking down the dirt path pulling me with him quickly.

"Jensen slow down, I can't go that fast in these shoes." I said trying my best not to trip over my feet.

Jensen picked me up throwing me over his shoulder. I gasped as he continued to walk down the path. Once we were away from the house he set me down turning to me.

"what was all that?" I questioned fixing my dress.

"how come you didn't tell me about California." He growled.

wait was he seriously mad at me right now?

"wait are you mad about that?"

"yes I'm mad!" He yelled.

"woah, you have no right to be mad at me okay." I huffed crossing my arms.

"yeah I do, you're keeping things from me."

"oh you're one to talk Jensen." I scoffed.

"that's different." He defended.

"so you're allowed to keep all these secrets but as soon as I don't tell you something you get all pissy?" I growled, glaring at him.

Jensen stayed quiet staring at me.

"and then you do this, you completely shut down on me. why do you keep pushing me away? what are you so afraid of?" I asked putting a hand to his cheek.

He flinched at my touch.

"Jensen I'm really trying here, but I need more." I said biting my lip.

"what like hearts and flowers, I'm sorry that's not me." He said turning away from me.

I walked around so I was standing in front of him again.

"I don't care about hearts and flowers, I just want you to be honest with me."

Jensen was quiet again as he stared at me.

"you're right, I have no reason to be mad, it's not like we're dating." He said turning to walk back to the house.

I sighed feeling a tear slip down my cheek.

one step forward. ten steps back.

Author Note:

thank you all for the love, please continue to heart, comment, reblog and follow!

-Liv

Part (VI)

[kogetaikid]

TW! UTY pacifist Spoilers!!!

Before people think I’m turning into a reblog account, here’s some of my misinterpretations of UTY pacifist before completing the game (there’s only two but Vera with me

1. Ceroba wanted to inject Kanako with INTEGRITY.

(Drawing unrelated, but you’ll know why I put it later)

When playing the pacifist, I thought the Ceroba misunderstood Chujin’s final message before he died, and convinced Kanako to get injected. However, during the Ceroba fight, in one of her memories, we see this:

(Cutting through some emotional dialogue)

Through some of the dialogue I skipped (wasn't originally planning on making a post about this), Kanako offers herself as a subject for her father's (Chujin's) work. Ceroba shows hesitation as it goes against her husband's wish but goes with it so she doesn't ruin his legacy. It made me feel bad for both characters. Kanako was just some dumb kid who didn't know what the hell she was asking for/expecting. She was just grieving her dying father and felt it was her fault for his demise. Ceroba was grieving too, and therefore couldn't think straight, but made the awful decision of giving into her daughter's demand of being injected with INTEGRITY.

2. Clovercide (TW!!!)

(Image also unrelated)

(TL;DR: Due to traumatic reasons, what was just a just sacrifice from Clover seemed like suicide to me.)

Just a heads up! I'll put a "keep reading" (if you wanna well, keep reading) under this because this may get a little personal...

This is still okay to reblog as long as you put the right warnings!

When I first saw the game in general, I though the screenshots I saw of the pacifist ending were the neutral ending. I though Clover got badly injured, or fell ill causing their end.

When I found out the wasn't the case, and watched a short clip (with no other context) of Clover giving up their life in the pacifist, I thought nothing of it. It was when I was listening to the soundtracks and saw how badly everyone was grieving Clover, then going back to places like tumblr talking about how they were just a kid that I started to get the wrong message.

I started to think Clover was probably miserable and indirectly asked for an assisted suicide by Ceroba and it broke me. Especially as someone who was suicidal/had dark thoughts as a kid. (I haven't felt like ending my own life for four years and have been clean for over one year) I've also had to endure the sob stories of mentally unstable people. This all tying back to the very few things I new about the pacifist ending, I felt kinda bad, sad and a little angry at Clover. This is what I would think:

WHY DID THEY DO THIS!!!???

SOME OTHER FUCKING DUMBASS KID COULD'VE TAKEN THEIR PLACE BUT NO!!! IT JUST HAD TO BE YOU, DIDN'T IT CLOVER!!!???

How miserable are you...?

Waiting for that fateful day where I could finally complete the game felt like preparing for a flu shot. I almost didn't want the game to end. I was so mad at the people saying "It was just a sacrifice", and shit.

...and as it turned out, they were kinda right. (still not giving them full credit) I didn't get the best screen shots cuz my computer crashed, but it was Clover going through all their memories in the underground, and realizing that they can't just hide away in the underground forever as a human. Monsters have been trapped for centuries and no matter how many of the monsters cared for them, they needed to do what was would've possibly happened from the start: give up their soul.

What I then got from the ending was that Clover felt to guilty to stay alive, and in the end, the wanted to do what's right. It's kinda getting sad again now that i think about it. Any who, this concludes my post. Enjoy the random screenshots at the bottom that I could fit into the post without it proving my point /hj. I'm currently debating whether or not I wanna go back and do the genocide route. Even though it's a fangame, I don't wanna fuck up the timeline.

[maninthemiroh]

About my Criminal Minds DR

Full name: Gagak (Yes, that's it. I was born in Java, Indonesia, in this DR)

My nicknames: Corvid/ae/ (most of the team), Raden Mas (most of the world), Bird boy (Luke), The Crow (film fans)

My faceclaim: LØREN

Gender identity: Cis-male

Orientation: Demi-romantic/sexual

Age upon first shift: 20

More about me and changes I made below the cut <3

My style:

I wasn't going to have this kind of style, as evidenced by my previous post about this DR, but I read through one (1!) fanfiction series about cowboy!reader x Criminal Minds yesterday and… Also, for some reason, black, red, and white were thee colors when I was making the wardrobe section on this Pinterest board? I blame my top #6 video game characters: Ash (King of Fighters), Iori (KOF), Rock (also, KOF), Shadow (Sonic), Skarlet (MK), and Vice (KOF, again). Ahaha, guess what my favorite video game is 🤔 Anyway, RDR2 outfit pic creds to user @/kaddishaun on Pinterest!

Fun facts about me and my life:

Youngest FBI informant a month after moving to the US (subsequently also a month after I turned 10), I'm sort of replacing White Boy Rick in a sense, but without the bad ending and horrible father figure.

Officially joined the FBI at age 11 once I got dual citizenship for the US and Indonesia (yes, I know that's not possible in this reality).

IQ of 304 because I'm an attention whore 😀.

Tallest person ever, as per usual, "only" 9'3 this time, though.

Youngest person to graduate high school, age five at SMA Taruna Nusantara

Youngest person to ever graduate college, age six, via an accelerated course thanks to a 127-page dissertation on serial killers that earned me my first PhD, one in Criminal Justice, at the University of Indonesia.

Besides my first PhD, I have twelve others, one in Chemistry, another in Computer and Information Sciences, then Cybersecurity, Engineering, Mathematics, Pharmacology, Philosophy, Physics, Political Science, Psychology, Public Administration, and Statistics.

Took the CTY entry exam, after it was mailed to me, and aced it, but they originally said I would have to move to Maryland, which I simply refused to do, so I almost turned it down before my parents mailed them a letter back asking if I could do dual enrollment and they'd, as rich people, pay for the transport of my schoolwork to and from our estate in Java, and it was not a surprise when the school board agreed.

When I first opened my eyes in the emergency room, my dad was holding me, and he was wearing a jade necklace, one long enough for me to reach out and grab—I did so, though, my grip wasn't very strong. As such, my mother suggested I be named after the jewel, but my grandfather, who recently visited Banggai, suggested the name Gagak, meaning crow, and my parents liked that better.

I spoke for the first time at 4 weeks and four days, simply said the word "shiny," and grabbed at my great aunt's pearl earring. This further reinforced for my family that my name was meant to be.

It's rude to call an Indonesian person by their full first name, so most have nicknames, and, my first name being what it is, my nickname wasn't hard for Spencer the team to think up.

Unit chief of the BAU since Hotch and Jack went into Witness Protection

I can speak, write, and comprehend all 700+ languages used in Indonesia.

I can read 30,000 words per minute and write 15,000.

Autodidact with an eidetic memory.

I played Eric Draven in the 1994 action fantasy film, The Crow (I will go on to play the same role in the 2024 remake)

From ages 14-19, I was the lead singer and backup guitarist in a faceless V-Kei trio called Birds Dig Us under the stage name, Rook, and we were actually the number one boy band at the time 😭. We haven't released music since 2001, but we didn't break up either [Insider info: things are cooking].

My other bandmates were Miyavi (Dué le Quartz, Skin, The Last Rockstars) on guitar and backup vocals, stage name Tsubasa, and Kai (the GazettE) on drums, stage name Torrio, by the way.

Also, Birds Dig Us made all the songs for The Crow's soundtrack.

I have a southern accent because, after moving to the US and before joining the BAU, I lived in Texas.

Reid's autism and mine feed off of one another, if you couldn't tell…

Some other things I changed:

I scripted that Austin the Bartender, Beth Clemmons, Elle Greenaway, Jason Gideon, Jordan Todd, Kevin Lynch, Maeve Donovan, Maxine Brenner, Stephen Walker, and Tyler Green don't exist, as well as that Aaron Hotchner, Alex Blake, Derek Morgan, and Kate Callahan never leave the BAU (for good, at least).

After Scratch dies, Hotch comes back to the BAU, but I keep my new position as unit chief, and Hotch just becomes a regular member of the team.

Reid and I both get actual diagnoses 😓

It takes longer for the team to go through the motions of Rossi's past because it felt far too quickly done in canon for me. Rearranged a bunch of episodes in the timeline for this and other reasons.

Morgan has lessened trust issues.

JJ didn't emotionally cheat on Will, her fucking baby daddy, because what the fuck was that??

Also, Haley and Hotch were less toxic because WOAH and Strauss and Rossi aren't hunching.

To sum things up: As of now, the BAU consists of its legal expert and former Unit Chief, Aaron Hotchner; Alex Blake, a linguist who assists with nuances in communication; David Rossi, one of the first BAU agents and a specialist in hostage negotiation; Derek Morgan, an ex-Chicago policeman with proficiency in obsessional crimes and explosives; Emily Prentiss, a master at child advocacy and counter-terrorism; Jennifer Jareau, the communications liaison and a standard profiler; John Blackwolf, a standard profiler; Kate Callahan, an experienced undercover agent; Luke Alvez, an adept fugitive tracker; Matt Simmons, a skilled profiler from the FBI International Response Team; Penelope Garcia, the technical analyst; Spencer Reid, an elite geographic profiler and chirography analyst; Tara Lewis, a forensic psychologist; and myself, the squad's current Unit Chief and sex crime expert.

PS: My voice claim is Corpse Husband because when given the choice to become my ideal self, why wouldn't I? Before anyone comes at me, I did use to have GERD! I didn't script myself having any disorders I don't or didn't have in this reality.

Taglist: @amiivrse @the-badass-penguin

Divider credits: @/i-mmaculatus and @/v6quE

[cbk1000]

And part three. (Final part; sorry this is so long: it has been a fucking long four months.)

No problem, Doctor Dipshit, I guess I'll just do your job and continue treating myself.

After my period ends, my heart rate drops again. It's still not as low as it should be, but it's much better. I continue to gradually improve. It's not a linear process; some days are better than others, but I never feel as bad as I did at the beginning of all this. My main issue is really my heart rate at this point; I'm no longer dizzy, I don't have the extreme weakness I had, my nausea is gone, I'm sleeping much better, and I'm a lot less tired than I was even before all this started. But the high heart rate keeps me still mostly bedbound, and I'm gnashing my teeth, because at this point I feel well enough to be mad about it, instead of just lying in bed trying to stave off death.

I finally start turning a corner, almost three months into taking supplements. My heart rate is consistently lower; even my last period wasn't as rough. (I felt a little worse than I had been, but my heart rate didn't spike, and I mostly just felt more run down than I normally would during my period.)

Over the last couple of weeks, I've been able to sit and stand and walk around for much longer, and I was finally, after months, able to start writing again. My heart rate is still a bit higher than it should be, and I have chest pain and tightness that radiates into my throat (it almost feels like an asthma attack) if I exert myself too much, but I can sit up for a good couple, few hours at a time, then lie down for a few minutes till those symptoms improve, and then get back up again. It is more exhausting to do things because of this, but I still, honestly, feel less tired than when I was a fully functioning, 'normal' person, and I've noticed that the horrible, frequent anxiety attacks I was having multiple times a week, out of nowhere, with no trigger, haven't happened since I started supplementing. I have been stressed, of course, but not baselessly anxious. Apparently iron deficiency can cause or worsen anxiety, so the anxiety I was having for the last couple of years that I attributed to all the changes at work, and how generally stressful the world has been, was also likely related to this.

Today, three and a half months after starting iron supplements, I'm writing this sitting up at my computer. I have some chest pain, but right now it's more of an annoyance than anything, and I can push through for a while before I'll need to lie down for a bit. The last week I have been able to write 27,000 words, animatedly play a video game I'm into at the moment (I shout a lot when I play), take Seamus outside multiple times a day while Mr. Jenn is at work (albeit for very short walks around the backyard, but still), edit, and concentrate on my reading. I can now sit out and eat dinner at our countertop and visit with Mr. Jenn. I spend more time up now than I do in bed. Tomorrow I have a doctor's appointment with a non-lunatic, and will hopefully be able to get medical clearance to finally return to work (Mr. Jenn and I have rigged up my desk so that I can recline and still see my monitors and work if I need more than my allotted breaks to rest) and an order for an iron infusion to get me the rest of the way more quickly. It has been the longest four months of my life. I have felt trapped in my own body. There were points during that constant back and forth of regressing a bit, improving a bit, regressing a bit, that I was afraid I would be stuck like that forever. I've had enough of consistently being on my feet day after day over the last few weeks that, while I'm not yet at 100% and know it will still probably be a while before I am, I know I will be, eventually. I actually feel confident in that now.

What I mean to say with these three very long-winded posts is, please do not ignore what your body is telling you. I wrote off the extreme fatigue, and anxiety, and burning and tingling I was feeling in my legs and feet as poor sleep, the world going to shit, muscle strain, etc. etc. That was my body trying to tell me something was really wrong. I did not know these were symptoms of iron deficiency; and not everyone gets them, and not everyone gets such severe symptoms that their entire body shuts down and confines them to bed for months: but there was something wrong with me, probably for years, and I ignored that, and wrote it off, because the symptoms were non-specific, and I'd lived with them for so long that I normalized them. If you are having any of these symptoms, especially fatigue, especially if you're menstruating, and especially especially if most of your iron sources aren't from meat, please get an iron panel done. Not your CBC; that will only tell you if your hemoglobin is ok, and I can tell you, as exhibit A, that just because your hemoglobin is normal, does not mean you don't have iron deficiency. B12 deficiency will cause some of these same symptoms as well, so if you're vegetarian, definitely get that checked as well.

The only reason I was able to put two and two together was because I had had similar cardiac issues after a blood donation, when it was easy to go, "Wait, I think you bled too much; let's put some iron back in you." I don't want to think about how long I might have been stuck like this getting booted from specialist to specialist with no one thinking to check my iron levels because my hemoglobin was normal. If you do not have enough of this one single mineral in your body, it can literally be debilitating. I work a desk job from home; I have been out of work for four months now because I haven't even been able to sit up at a desk. I actually ran out of legally-protected medical leave a month ago and am just lucky that my employer wants to keep me enough that they were willing to put me on personal leave until I was ready to come back.

Anyway, that is my extremely long update. I sincerely appreciate everyone who has checked in on me and asked how I'm doing.

[sunnyie-eve]

23 | You what?

Series: Significant

Paring: Colby Brock x Original female character

Warnings: None

Word Count: 2.5k

| MASTERLIST |

~

It's been a few weeks since Penelope was released from the hospital and was back home. Her mother and sister were still staying nearby till she was completely done with her doctor appointments just to be safe. With Penelope living out here and not home much, Turner has been hanging out at the house with Penelope and the guys.

At that moment, he went downstairs and got sucked into helping with the prank on Colby's car helping Elton, Corey, and Sam only because he caught them.

"Did you take your medicine?" Colby walks into Penelope's room.

"Colby, you are killing me about making sure I take my meds." She groans at her computer.

"You have like four difficult medications you have to take at different times every single day, Penelope." He walks up behind her.

She drops her head down shaking it, "I have alarms set when to take them so don't worry about it." She tilts her head to look back at him.

"Come on, you know I'm gonna worry about it." He gives her a kiss on the forehead.

Since the night at the hospital when he kissed her, they haven't really talked about it but there was a shift in their friendship. It was a lot more flirty when they were alone and even more touching which involved more head kisses and cheek kisses.

"Because you're annoying." She turns around to face him.

"I would hit you but you still have a broken wrist and head trauma." He crosses his arms, "You really don't want to go to the party tonight with me?"

"Not really. I want to stay home." She gets up to sit on her bed turning her TV on, "Not to mention I have a broken arm, Colby. And it's my dominant arm." She gives him a look.

"But I want you to come with." He lays his head on her lap.

"Well, that's not gonna happen." Her left hand plays with his hair which he liked very much.

"Where did Turner go?" Colby asks since he hasn't come back upstairs yet.

"Who knows. He's still here somewhere so I'm not worried. Probably with Sam or Corey. He's taken a liking to Corey since they both like dancing." Penelope says not caring knowing he was okay.

"Should I still go on the trip to Japan?" Colby asks her.

"Why wouldn't you not go?" She asks confused.

"Because I wanna keep an eye on you. I can't do that in another country." He looks up at her.

"I'll be fine alone. Plus there will be other people here because we have roommates if I need help, which I won't." She reassures him, "You are going on your stupid trip." She laughs at his face.

"Why does it gotta be stupid?" He chuckles.

"Because I said so. I don't know."

"I wanna take a little nap so wake me up before 7:30." Colby closes his eyes falling asleep as she plays with his hair.

When it gets closer to 7:30, Penelope wakes Colby up so he goes to his room to get ready. "Turner!" Penelope goes downstairs looking for him and can't find him. Going to the garage she sees it open so she goes out to the front. "You just disappeared, dude." She sees him with Elton, Sam, and Corey then what they did to Colby's car, "Oh, my."

"Wanna sit and wait to see his reaction?" Sam takes a seat.

"I guess." She joins them.

When Colby comes out he was confused to see everything looking at him, "You disappeared on me. And where's my car? There's my car." He finally notices making the guys laugh at him. "Did you know?" Colby asks Penelope.

"No, she didn't but Turner helped." Elton lets him know before telling Colby about his gift in the car.

"Oh my god! This is going to take me so long, Elton. Wait what? Bubble wrap." Colby starts tugging it to get it off. "How long did this take you?"

"About two hours..." Elton tells him.

"Before I continue, I'm gonna tell the person, that I need... Needed to be there at 7:30."

"You needed to be there at 7:30?! Why did you wait so late to run late?" Penelope shouts at how stupid he was.

Colby starts to tug again at the Saran Wrap this time moving the entire car, "How and I gonna get this, NO! NO! No! What is... No! Packing peanuts! Is the present in the packing peanuts or is that the present?" Colby asks.

"The present is inside the packing peanuts. It's in there. It's in the car somewhere." Elton laughs so they all watch Colby struggle.

"So you guys... You do know you're all gonna die in the next week right?" Colby looks at the guys, "That includes you too Turner. You're not safe because you aren't going home just yet." Colby points at him so Turner grabs Penelope's arm.

"My shield."

When they go for a little drive, Penelope and Turner wait for them to get back, "And you choose to live with these idiots?" Turner laughs as they sit alone.

"I oddly do." She laughs as well.

Soon the guys get back and they watch Colby search for his present but they put it in the trunk. Penelope cracks up seeing that the present was dish soap since he never does his dishes. Before they head inside, Riches pulls up to pick up Turner so they say goodbye to him.

~

"Where are you off to all dressed up looking adorable?" Colby smiles entering Penelope's bedroom.

"Lunch with my friend. She's picking me up so can you help me with my shoes please." She gives him a pout so he helps her put them on.

"You never talk about this friend much... What's her name?"

"Janelle, we've worked together a few times but she's mostly out of state but she got back last week." She says as Janelle calls her telling her she was there.

Getting in the car, Janelle smiles at her, "I might have left a small detail out about lunch."

"And that would be?"

"We're meeting up with my boyfriend and his friend. He had an opening in his schedule so they're gonna join us. Don't worry it's not like a date thing." She lets her know.

"Oh, okay." Penelope chuckles.

The girls get to the restaurant first and take a seat waiting for the guys to show up. When they did Janelle's boyfriend, Luke, and his friend Justin, introduced themselves to Penelope.

"Sorry if we were intruding on girl time." Luke apologizes.

"It's fine."

They end up spending an hour at the restaurant chatting about what they do and other things. Justin took a liking to Penelope and it was obvious to Janelle and Luke, but Penelope paid no mind.

"How long till you take your cast off? The accident happened about a month ago, right? Your accident. Falling down the stairs because a prank went wrong and was in a small coma for a couple of weeks." Luke talks to Penelope.

"How did you know that? I didn't tell you about that?" Janelle asks her boyfriend confused.

"The video about it... It was uploaded earlier today. The prank going wrong and the updates till you got home." He says confused seeing the look on Penelope's face.

"I need to go home. Like now." She gets up from her seat leaving so Janelle and Luke quickly split the bill.

"Why?" Janelle rushes after her.

"Because Elton fucking posted what happened to me! I was laying unconscious on the floor bleeding from my head while my roommates panicked." Penelope shouts.

"She's not lying." Justin shows Janelle the video when everything goes wrong.

Janelle takes Penelope home and she enters the house pissed off, "ELTON!" She yells out his name.

Everyone downstairs was confused as Elton entered the room, "Why are you screaming my name?"

"Why am I screaming your name? Are you fucking serious right now? Why the hell did you upload the failed prank and updates? You took a picture of me in my hospital bed to show in the video as well!" She was pissed off with him.

"Wait, what? You posted the accident and everything that happened afterward?" Corey looks at him.

"I just wanted to show how not all pranks go the way you want them to go. And I had updates so fans would know she was okay. To also explain why we disappeared for two weeks because we were worried about you." Elton explains.

"Elton, she was unconscious and bleeding on our floor and you posted that?" Sam gets a little loud.

It was taking everything in Colby not to tackle Elton to the ground for posting the video, "I would say delete it but it's too fucking late. People probably already have the video. I can't believe you did that, Elton. Fans already knew an accident happened because we said one happened when it did and that we were focusing on that." Colby walks upstairs not wanting to look at him.

"Would you still have posted it if she died instead of recovering from the fall?" Aaron shakes his head going upstairs too.

"It's gonna be a while before I can forgive you." Penelope heads upstairs going to Colby's room, "Can you untie my shoes so I can kick them off?" She asks him politely so he does what she asks.

"I can't fucking believe him. It wasn't even a prank, it was an accident. You could've died and we were all really panicking. It was acting like we normally do for pranks to scare each other." Colby sits on his couch.

"I know. When Janelle's boyfriend brought up the accident and everything with it we were confused about how he knew then he told us about the video. Maybe one good thing will come out of it."

"What could that be?" Colby looks at her.

"Hopefully fans will feel bad for me and realize how much I mean to my roommates. Or some will wish I die." She thinks.

"Let's hope it's the first one." He holds her hand.

"I'm thinking about filming a Q&A video do you want to join me? Last week I tweeted asking for questions so want to go through some?" Penelope gets off the couch.

"Sure, wanna do it in here?"

"Eww, no. I like my setup." She leaves his room.

"That was rude!" He follows her to her room and sets her camera up for her.

"Hey, hey! Welcome back to my channel! It's been quite some time since I last uploaded a video. But last week I asked y'all to ask me some questions I can answer. As you can see I have the lovely handsome Colby Brock with me." She motions to him with her good arm.

"Oh, you're making me blush, stop." He plays along.

"I asked him if he wanted to join me just because I could. He literally lives down the hall from me. I'll have him pick and read me questions you guys want to know." She hands Colby her phone that was already on Twitter. "Are you ready?" She asks him.

"Are you ready?" He smiles so they both laugh. "I'm gonna pick ones that are wild, funny, and private." Colby moves his eyebrows at her.

"You're so... Our moms just had to be friends." She groans at him.

"Okay, this is from Anna-ha; If you were to switch bodies with Colby for a day what would you do?" He reads, "Tell me, what would you do in my body?" He tilts his head.

"Cry, I would cry and scream. I would refuse to use the bathroom. I'd just pee myself because hell no. But other than that," She thinks, "I would transfer some money to my bank account. You're richer than me so." She laughs as his jaw drops, "What would you do, huh? In my body?" She asks him now.

He thinks making different faces, "You're my best friend but I'm still a guy first so..." He smirks causing her to hit him, "I'm joking, I had to piss some people off. But I would go get a tattoo of my name to put on you."

"No! I will never get a name tattooed on me." Her eyes widened.

"Night Owl asks; How many boyfriends have you had?" He reads.

"Two, just two. When I was 14 and 18/19. My longest relationship was two years and I got cheated on. The second was, not even a full year. I honestly can't tell you how long I think maybe six months because-,"

Colby cuts her off, "Because he was also a piece of shit and they constantly fought about small things that were unnecessary."

"As Colby said but only two. I'm done dating."

"Banana Bread asks; Do you get uncomfortable when people talk about you and any of the guys, especially Sam and Colby, in a nonfriend way?"

"I don't know if I would say it's uncomfortable but it's a similar feeling. I can't really explain it. I don't care that much because there's more hate towards me with the guys. I guess that's why it doesn't make me uncomfortable because there's not a lot of that. But for Sam and Colby, I'm super close to them so the hugs, head kisses, and cuddles don't really mean anything romantically." She explains, "Like I've had people give me crap for how Sam and I are because he's dating Kat, but she completely trusts us."

"On our trip to Utah, Kat asked Penny if was she keeping Sam from turning blue and purple by cuddling him. So like, she trusts Penelope and Sam. Devyn trusts Penny as well as Corey. I don't have a girlfriend but hopefully she would trust her as well and I'm sure she would." Colby adds.

"So yeah, I don't get uncomfortable but I prefer people not to for the respect of the actual couples." Penelope adds to it.

"Oh, this one is, wow. Jade asks; What made you realize you were in love for the first time?"

"Wow!" Penelope was shocked, "That's a big topic, umm." She takes a deep breath in, "I couldn't stand not being able to see them. It was like, if I saw them I knew no matter what, even if I was at my lowest, just seeing them made me feel a little better. Then one day I couldn't stop thinking about them in a certain way. From that moment on everything in me changed and it's so hard to describe that feelings. Love is complicated to explain." Penelope giggles refusing to look at Colby who was looking at her the whole time she talked.

"Colby's wifey... I didn't know I had one, asks; Can you stop being friends with Colby and move far away please?" He gives Penelope a smile.

"Okay, we're done." She looks at Colby, "I'll have the movers come over soon to get my stuff." She stands up walking out of her room before going back in, "Hell no!" She looks at the camera before sitting back down.

"Yeah, as long as I'm alive, Penelope is gonna be here as well so..." Colby nods his head.

"Okay! Thank you guys for watching and giving me questions. If Colby didn't pick yours, I'm sorry blame him not me. Remember to like, comment, and subscribe. I would really appreciate it." Penelope smiles.

"Do it or I'll hunt you down and force you to." Colby glares at the camera before getting up to turn it off.

[urnumber1star]

1 to 5 Tag!

Thanks fir tagging me in this @illarian-rambling! And sorry for being so late to this, my computers been a mess so I wasn't really able to do these but now it's working again so yay!

I'll be answering about Bolt Runners/BRS :]

One Word To Describe Your WIP

politics

Two Lines That Are Your Favorite

"Dude..... so you like, explode when you do that? Ew."

"After about twenty minutes of messing with his personal least favorite neighbor Mrs. Kannet by turning her power on and off for twenty minutes he went back inside his house and sprawled out on the living room couch."

Three Times You Cried While Writing

I actually have never cried while writing before. That's actually quite impressive for me. XD

Four Feelings From Your Characters

Bianca groaned, “I don't know. They still haven't gotten back to me!” She complained. “I'm sure you got it. You do this stuff all the time.” He reassured. “Thanks. This is the first time I’ve auditioned without my dad intervening though… I guess I’m just worried that I was only getting hired because my dad told them too…” “Hey. Stop stressing about it. You are the best actress I know.” Micheal said.

He eventually graduated from his own house to other houses outside. He would run outside and absorb all the power from a nearby apartment complex, and then turn it back on a couple minutes later. He would always get a little chuckle when an annoyed neighbor would come outside and knock on another neighbor's door, and Micheal would watch them talk about why the power kept on going off then turning back on. But he always tried not to leave the power off for more than five minutes.

Dr. Grace must have been able to tell that the three were beginning to panic so she hurriedly responded, “But all of your vitals seem to be normal as of now! I’ve prepared multiple more tests to check for any other possible problems this could cause, but the results will take several more days.”

But to Micheals surprise, his father grinned. “Listen. I think a promotion is coming up. They’ve been talking for a few weeks about it and there’s a rumor going around that it's gonna be mine. So I’ve been making sure I get all of my work done and even some extra. Just in case.” He explained.

Five Troupes Featured

Slow Burn Romance, Teen Superhero, Daddy Issues, Enimies To Lovers, Redemption arc to Villain arc

I loved this one it was fun! I'll tag (@the-ellia-west or @jakkon-and-rose-topic whichever one you want to do,) @kaylinalexanderbooks, @leahnardo-da-veggie, @agirlandherquill, @thisisntrocket +ANYONE WHO WANTS TO DO IT <3

[dreadsuitsamus]

Jubilee | Renji Abarai x Reader |

author's note: this is an au where renji is a mechanic and reader is his secretary/bookkeeper. i plan to do an overall larger story with this au, and will likely consider this fic 'canon' to that one when it's released lol. but i love this idea and had to write something quick for it, and it's lightly inspired by an outing with my friends the other night 🩷

pairing: renji abarai x fem!reader

warnings: fluff, modern au

The sound of the door between the garage and the office area alerts you to your mechanic's presence, eyes quickly flitting to check the time— around his usual time for a snack, so you expect to soon see him with a bag of popcorn as he sits in his usual seat at the edge of your desk. But when you hear the jingling of his keys instead of the microwave popcorn popping, all sense of time and the world as you know it shatters. This man, while not strict about routine at all, has always naturally followed the same way day in and day out.

Renji appears before your desk, the keys to the building and his car swinging around the ring looped on his index finger. "C'mon, we're closing early today."

Blinking and quickly pinching your thigh to ensure this is real and that you haven't nodded off at the desk again, you perk a brow at your friend and technical boss. "Huh?"

"Gotta clean your ears out." He teases with that handsome smile. "I know everything I tell you goes in one ear and out the other, but clearly some stuff sticks since you apparently didn't hear me. I said, c'mon. Shop's closed the rest of the day."

"But you've still got-" Your hands search for the daily schedule Renji wrote out for himself, and on it it shows he's only got but four of the six oil changes done, not to mention the—

"Hey!" He knocks his knuckles against your wooden desk. "It's fine. Trust me, the work'll still be there tomorrow. Now can you please come on?"

Irritation twinges at your lips, pulling them into a bit of a pout, not that you'd admit that to him and take the chance of him wanting to stay late another day to make up for the short workday. He slips into one of his nice button-up shirts he keeps on standby— his favorite Hawaiian shirt, actually. It's black and the flowers are a mix of white and warm colors, and you've always thought it looks stunning on him.

"What's the occasion?" The question is a hum on your lips while you tidy up the desk and shut down your computer.

"It's the last night of that lil carnival that's in town. I wanna go check it out." Renji says boredly, swinging his keys as he waits for you to finish getting ready to go. "I want you to go with me. My treat."

"Aren't you generous, paying for a lady's three dollar entrance ticket?" You tease and pick up your purse, following him out of the door and waiting as he locks up.

"Turns out 'm not the worst boss after all, eh? I remember birthdays too, punk, so consider this part of your birthday present." He pokes at your forehead with a sly grin, and damn him to hell— you were quite hoping he'd forgotten your upcoming, dreaded thirty-third birthday.

Your lips pull into a pout. "So you're admitting you're the boss here, hm?" Renji always tells customers you're the one in charge and sticks with that mindset even when you're alone, so such a statement from him is odd.

"Just for today. Had to give ya a break." Renji winks, the light from the sun that's just barely starting to set casting a nice glow on him.

Your scoff is light and followed by a warm laugh, and soon you're ducking into one of Renji's many cars. It's his daily driver, nothing fancy or classic or particularly stunning, but it's the only automatic he owns and thus the only one you can actually drive, so it's your favorite by default. "This jubilee happens every year, y'know, and this is the only time you've ever mentioned it outside of complaining about all the traffic it causes."

Renji shrugs, looking far too relaxed as he drives. "I wanna go."

Good enough for me.

The city park is full of people and madness as Renji drives in, swooping into the last miraculously-empty parking spot. And bless his foolishness as he smiles cheekily at the father of five that's fuming in the minivan as he has to make another rotation for an empty spot. You hide a snicker in your hand and walk with Renji to the entrance, watching as he charms the old lady selling the tickets and making her day.

"What?? Six dollars?! You're cleaning me out, missy." He teases, opening his wallet and pulling out the cash for the entry fee. Bless the old woman's heart as she laughs and blushes at Renji's innocent flirting and slaps the two tickets into his hand.

"I think you'd make more money as a stripper for old ladies." You snort and walk with your friend into the carnival, the bright lights from the rides and the smell of greasy food attacking your senses.

"I don't have the rhythm for stripping." Renji laments with a dramatic sigh.

Your giggle is music to Renji's ears as you survey the carnival. The lines are all long and he's not quite sure how he feels about some of these rides— this was put together in a matter of days?? Hell no.

The ferris wheel still looks kind of fun, however…

Renji leads the way to the ride, and after a quick glance back to make sure you're still there, he takes your hand. "Don't go missing on me now!"

The warmth of his hand is just barely hotter than the burn of your cheeks; it's been five years since you met and subsequently started working with Renji at his dingy little auto shop, and you loathe to think about the truth of why you've been single all this time— if that sort of love with your friend was in the cards, it would've happened by now.

Renji, oblivious to your mental plight, finally finds the end of the line to the ferris wheel and staunchly takes his place and quietly dares anyone to try and cut in line. His hand is still firmly holding yours and it's like a switch flicks in his mind with how suddenly he drops it.

"Your hand is oddly soft." You murmur as you begin people watching.

"I keep telling you, WD-40 is the best moisturizer you can use!" Renji insists with a laugh, and you shove him playfully— he knows how much you hate the smell of the degreaser.

The line moves slowly, as expected for a ferris wheel, and it's dark by the time you're loading into your carriage. The breeze is cooler than it has been all day long, and Renji notices your shiver as the ride gets going. "I didn't bring a jacket." He murmurs. "You can use my shirt, if you want."

You shake your head and rub your arms as they litter with goosebumps. "No, it's okay. It's just a little chilly."

"Mm. Well, come here." His leanly muscled, tattooed arm slips around your shoulders and already you feel a certain warmth enveloping you. "Been told I run like a furnace."

"You do."

"Guess that makes me pretty hot, huh?" Renji's smile is full and you just can't help yourself but laugh at his cheesy little joke.

"With all the swearing I hear from that garage and that red hair of yours, you're definitely at least a hothead."

"Ooooh, deserved." The redhead hisses. "I don't try to be, y'know."

"I know. I also know all that effort goes out the window the second you hit your head on a hood."

"Hey, you give it a try and tell me you wouldn't let out a swear or two!" Renji pouts, brow furrowed and he looks so stupid but still so damn cute.

"I don't have any reason to be under a hood— that's what I have you for."

"Damn right." He's smug now, the bozo. He squeezes you tighter to his side, running his hand up and down your arm a few times. "You feel okay?"

"Yeah, yeah. I'm fine." He's so warm, and damn that fancy cologne of his, the one that cost him more than one of his tattoo sessions. It's essentially been designed to set every nerve of yours alight and fill your chest with a pounding urge to pounce on the poor mechanic that just wanted to smell nice.

"Good." He mutters lowly, his thumb swiping across your chilly skin.

The ferris wheel is filled up eventually, and you get maybe five rotations before a sudden stop, the LED lighting on the sides of each carriage going out as well. Renji groans, louder than the other voices in the midst of the outage, and looks down at the ground and tilts the carriage enough to make your heart skip a terrifying beat. Before you can even think twice you're grabbing the back of his shirt and tugging him closer to you.

"We are all the way at the top! Do not tilt this fucking thing!"

"Scaredy-cat." Is all Renji responds with, the bastard.

"Shut up!" You hiss, and Renji finally settles in as someone down below alerts you through a megaphone that the fireworks show is about to begin, and that they've had to pause the ride.

"Well look at that. We got the best seat in the house." Your mechanic settles in, pulling you close to his warm side as the show begins.

And truly, it's worth being stuck at the top of the ride. The lights are fantastically bright, the shapes and pops and booms all backed by a playlist full of some of your personal favorite bops and classics. Renji smiles as you sing along, and finds himself looking at you more than the show, not that you notice his watchful eyes.

Renji carefully slips his phone from his pocket and snaps a few photos, and by the time he takes the last picture you've caught on long enough to smile for the camera. And that's as long as your interest lasts as the finale starts up, but Renji's too busy setting the perfect picture as his phone's wallpaper to witness it.

His heart warms when you meet his eyes just as the last few fireworks go off, and his cheeks flush red at the gentle, brief touch of your lips to his cheek. "Thank you for the birthday present, Renji."

He makes sure to bring you to the local event and do the same thing each and every year after, if for nothing other than your sweet kiss.

[demonfox38]

Completed: Final Fantasy III (Pixel Remaster)

You know what? Yeah, it was.

Most of the time, when I start these evaluations, I go through what lead me to playing the game. It usually falls under the category of "life is complicated; played a video game to cope." This evaluation's edition is…uniquely spicy, in that regard. And by spicy, I mean soppy. You see, my parents have been living with me for several weeks as a result of a flood wiping out half of their house and town, as well as most of the vehicles. (The verdict's still out on whether or not my dad's Astro van will come back to life.) I also lost my car in the flood, as I was there when it hit. Luckily, no creature died! But, it's been a rough recovery period. Lots of mud-slopped possessions to wash—if they can be recovered at all.

So, I went from a house of 2 dogs, 1 human to 4 dogs, 3 humans, and 1 bird. "Life is complicated."

Not to say my summer was completely ruined! I was able to visit @jeannettegray for a few days, so that was a good reprieve! It's just mostly been me putting in my 40 hours at work, then putting in an additional 8-16 while I either babysit animals or clean possessions. When I haven't been working, I've mostly been sitting around with my parents, watching whatever they put on TV. 15+ year old sitcoms, crafting videos, and corpse shows, baby.

I finally reached the point where I didn't care if they were snooping on me while I was on the computer or a game console. I had to do something to keep myself sane while yet another re-run spooled itself out. My first attempt to get back to my 12 games beaten goal for this year was actually with a mushy-graphiced version of "Final Fantasy VI" that is no longer available on Steam for purchase. That lasted all of 5 minutes due to poor input mapping issues with the game. "Fine," I thought. "There's a deal on a Pixel Master set for 1-6. I would play at least half of these again."

And then I pivoted to "Final Fantasy III." The other "Final Fantasy III." The actual "Final Fantasy III."

Coping happened!

Now, it's never fun to acknowledge when you're a stereotype. But, on occasion, one must come clean. I am one of those insufferable bastards who is much more likely to play pre-"Final Fantasy VII" games and claim them to be among my favorites of the series. Like, I'm pro "Final Fantasy II" and willing to run a new "Final Fantasy I" file at any time. That kind of bastard. Having said that, I actually haven't been able to play an iteration of "Final Fantasy III" before! It was one of those games that got locked in Japan, only having a release in terms of a Nintendo DS remake in the late 2000s.

Could I have hunted down a fan translation of this game? Sure. It is nice to have this game handed over on a platter, though. Especially, such a well-polished platter!

"Final Fantasy III" focuses on the story of four dink-ass orphans who drop into a hole and accidentally get jobs from a hidden magic crystal. They are then tasked with defending the other crystals, fixing elements from going out of whack, and eventually stuffing encroaching darkness back into the void from whence it came. Ya know. Your average "Final Fantasy" experience.

While the plot feels a lot like "Final Fantasy 1 2.0," the interesting portions of it come more from the beat-to-beat moments. Like, discovering that the land you are on is actually a floating continent being propelled by ancient machinery, for one. Finding out the world is flooded and almost every living being is turned to stone? Woof. That was a punch in the gut. So was the bit in Saronia, when you have the misfortune of being shot down and dragged into its town-wide civil war. From a 30,000-foot elevation, yeah, this game can look average. But, you do miss out on some cool looking critters from that high up. You definitely don't see into the cave depths that this runs, either!

Coming to this game so late, I imagine a lot of people are going to be thrown by how simple the game itself really is. There is a job system here, so veterans of "Final Fantasy V" may expect some value in multi-classing and maxing out experience in as many jobs as possible. Honestly? There's not a lot of reason to do that. You have options, sure. But, it's more about sticking to your guns and maxing out your job level to get the most value out of the class as possible. If you miss out on grinding out Bards and Evokers, well…are you really missing that much? Just stick to what you like, and problems will work themselves out.

The game does try to force players into shifting roles around, depending on what's going on at the time. I don't think you really have to force a player to carry a White Mage in the party, but the game does throttle progress until you use one to shrink characters or transform them into toads. Similar attempts are made to force the Scholar, Thief, Black Mage, and Dark Knight classes, although some can be worked around with the right toolset (or just a stubborn "don't give a damn" attitude.)

Additionally, the game enjoys being a little shithead about hidden passageways. You'd better get used to looking for cracks in the walls and pushing yourself through gaps. First, for better items. Then, to actually beat the game! If you have a shred of Metroidvania skills, it's not the worst to deal with. It does require some level of concentration, though. Maybe slowing down and not being on mach speed 24/7.

Speaking of which—the "Pixel Remaster" version of "Final Fantasy III" may be the easiest version of this game released to date. Particularly, with its speed modifiers, experience multipliers, and even the ability to just. Turn the monster encounters off. Like, okay! I know what speed runners are abusing for this one! Additional fun features include the ability to switch between music types and plopping filters on to make your computer look more like an old CRT television set. Which, hey. I'm crusty enough to put the original music back on, but that filter might be a bit too much.

You tell me.

It's very clear that a lot of people put hard work into this game. Like, if the several studios listed at the end weren't evidence enough. But, yes. Someone clearly put work into shining these sprites up. At first, I was wondering if they were for some WonderSwan remake that never made it to the United States. But, these seem to be new for the release itself. That, and the rescored, live-recorded soundtrack that I immediately turned off in favor of old bleep-bloops.

I know. You'd think someone who had played flute and bassoon would have more respect for that sort of thing. It is a bit excessive for what I'm visually seeing, though. Nothing wrong in appreciating what's older, either!

About the only accessibility issue I noticed was some minor flashing with the game towards the latter half. (It wasn't too overwhelming, but it's better to mention it happening than not say anything at all.) Otherwise, hell. Between controls over monster spawning, EXP/gold multipliers, and a glut of language options, this is probably about the most accessible this game is ever going to get. Shit, it even has a tracker for seeing what treasures are available for you to pick up, as well as what hidden items you may have missed!

I think you'd be hard-pressed to find a better version of this game. I mean, sure, there's the DS remake if you wanted your characters to have character or whatever. (Although, frankly, I'm one of those insufferable bastards that is happier having their characters shut up, if the characters are just going to spend the next 30+ hours being mopey, whiny, or over-caffeinated.) But, honestly? This is what I wanted. Famicom base code and square waves. A gentle coat of paint. A few accessibility options to make treasure/monster/achievement hunting less of a pain in the ass. Excellent. The only design choice I would have made differently is somehow augmenting the palette for each sprite to match the default Onion Knight color of each character. Like, pink guy always having pink highlights or base colors, green for green, etc. But, hey. It's not like the original game was doing that, either.

Well, someone could have polished up the NPC following code, too. Poor stuttery little guys just can't keep up!

Individually, "Final Fantasy III" is currently around $18.00 USD on Steam. However, there is a bundle to get all "Pixel Remaster" games for a discount as well that you may wish to consider. I'd wait for it to dip under $60.00 USD if you wanted to go that route, as that bundle does tend to get discounted more often than not. But, if there's three of the games that you'd be into from that set, you might as well scoop them all up. I've certainly enjoyed them in rougher states than this!

Again, though. You're reading something written by a person that is pro-"Final Fantasy II" and indifferent to "VII." Someone who habitually and gleefully plays "Quest 64." My sense of "good" may be much different than yours.

I suppose we all cope differently, don't we?

[chartreuseian]

For the WIP asks: 🌀, ❄️, 🌤️, ☔, please! 😊

Thank you 🥰 I'm gonna do them all on the one WIP to try and hype myself up for it!!

🌀Post the fic summary for a fic you haven't written/published yet. It can be hypothetical or something you really plan on releasing...

This is gonna be me writing the summary, because I haven't actually written the summary yet. So it's like a WIP summary for said WIP.

He was her best friend. She was his only friend. But four short days change everything and 10 years change the rest. Some things though? Well, some things never really change.

I hate writing summaries. I normally just use a quote from the story, but that so won't work for this one so I guess I'll just keep playing with this...

❄️Share a snippet from a WIP of your choosing.

“You’re not in our system,” he said with a frown. “Which doesn’t make sense. I remember your paintings.” Something ugly twisted in her stomach then. “Well, obviously there’s a glitch in your system.” He snorted. “Unlikely. The wunderkind runs a tight ship.” “And yet here we are…”  He looked up at her then, his humour dwindling at what she knew must be a rather sharp look on her face. “There’s no Helen Magnus in our applicants pool,” he said, standing up and twisting the screen around so she could see for herself. “Look.” “Oh.” Helen shifted her weight. “No, I don’t suppose there would be.” Nikola waited. “Try Druitt,” she continued, trying not to wince or blush or, really, think about it. She’d been going by the name for so long it felt normal, natural even to say it, but the way Nikola’s face smoothed out, going completely blank in response brought up all sorts of strange feelings in her chest. Shoving them down, Helen swallowed and straightened. Nikola nodded once, turning the computer back around and searching once more. “Druitt,” he said quietly, almost sadly but Helen refused to let her chest grow tight at the sheer depth of emotion she could hear in the word. “Ten years is a long time,” she replied, unable to keep the edge out of her voice. “Lots of things change.”

🌤️Share your favorite piece of dialogue from your WIP.

Then he looked at her again, letting his hands fall to his sides with a sheepish grimace. “Sorry… You don’t need to hear all that.” “It’s fine,” she said again, waving a hand and moving to stand. “No, it’s boring,” he replied with a sigh. “You shouldn’t have to listen to me rant when we’re already…” He glanced at his watch and groaned. “Oh, we’ve definitely missed our reservation.” “Yes, I rather think we have,” she replied, grabbing his suit jacket from where he’d tossed it on the other edge of the sofa. “But I don’t mind, truly Nikola. You can rant.” He shook his head. “No,” he began but she cut him off by tossing his blazer across the desk towards him. “It’s fine.” She levelled her very best ‘give it up already’ glare at him. “Honestly. You’re one of my oldest friends-” “Youngest,” he countered, smirking a little as he shook out his suit jacket. “Most annoying,” she offered sweetly, grabbing her handbag. “Only,” was his smug response and her smile faltered at that. Sensing he’d won, Nikola’s grin widened, and though she was tempted to shove at his shoulder for the childishness of it all, the tension in his brow had eased just a little and she couldn’t find it in her to do so. Instead she rolled her eyes and let him hold out an arm to take before promptly pushing it away. “I’m taking you out to dinner,” she told him. “So be nice.” “I’m always nice,” he cried, gesturing for her to go first. “When it counts, anyway.” “When it serves you,” she replied, narrowing her eye as she walked out the door he’d gestured to. Nikola followed quickly with a dark chuckle, hovering by her shoulder as they walked across the floor of the gallery. “Being nice always serves me,” he all but purred, looping his arm through hers. Her laughter was genuine and Helen found she couldn’t hide her smile at his antics. Once more Nikola looked too proud of himself, but before she could chastise him again, he was looking past her. “Going to dinner,” he called towards Henry who was sitting at one of the low benches on the far side of the room, a number of metal fragments spread out on the floor. “Don’t wait up, kid.”

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

OK. Now that I've posted all these little snippets, I suppose I should explain a bit of the story? I'm still not convinced it's going to happen because I don't feel confident with a lot of the premise, but I'm going to keep playing with it until it either dies or becomes something useable.

So, it's a modern AU that starts back in their university days when he's the study abroad kid. It's drawing heavily from the Out of the Blue rewrite I did back in the day (for my 'Should Have' series) but also very different. Helen's an artist and Nikola's... an entrepreneur (? sort of) who loves art which is how they bond.

It'll be a big one but I wanted to look at the idea that who they were 'back then' is different to who they grow to be and I've been itching to try a modern AU for a while (I love them, as I mention frequently, but I never feel like I know what to do with them).

Like I said before, I don't know if it'll end up going anywhere or being anything, but I'm just trying to enjoy finding out.