#I FULLY POINTED IT OUT TO THE TSA AGENT

[bibleofficial]

dulles is by far the WORST airport like i was bitching abt heathrow being bad but DULLES …. TAKES THE CAKE

[hyperfixated-gvf]

Stroke Me

Pairing: Danny Wagner x Reader | Rated Explicit | Words: 6.3k

Warnings: Language, smut, handjobs, edging, oral sex (m. receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, m. sub kinda

Summary: Danny comes home from tour with a newfound kink and finally gets the chance to try it out with you.

Author's Note: Uhh...so, about a month and a half after I said I would have this to you guys...ta da?

18+ / MINORS DNI

~~~

The domestic bliss of ‘just home from tour’ was one of the only good things about Danny being gone for so long, so often. Sure, you were grateful that he was doing what he loved with people he loved. Yes, it was cool that he got to see the world and then play for more people who loved him.

But when you were stuck at home at night, unable to call him because of time differences and so, so lonely, you found yourself thinking of days and nights exactly like this one.

You had both woken with the sun, no alarms, and had breakfast in your pajamas. After that? You’d put on a record and cleaned the house up a bit, then spent the rest of the day doing nothing at all, with nowhere to be, no one to talk to about band stuff, and no distractions from simply existing in the same space again. 

Now, showered and ready for bed again, Danny approached you from behind as you were shutting a dresser drawer, his strong arms tightening around you as he gently swayed you to an inaudible rhythm. Smiling as you overlaid your hands with his, you willfully relaxed back, turning your head into him to take a deep breath. “Hey, handsome.”

This part of existing in the same space again was another blessing. On most of those lonely nights, you simply wished for him to be there to hold you, for his weight to create the familiar dip in the mattress that, when absent, made you feel like you were sleeping off-kilter. But on some nights…just being in the same time zone to hear his voice rumble through the line and talk you through your loneliness would have been enough.

“Hello, beautiful,” he murmured in your ear, holding you flush against him. 

You were so close that you felt the slight tension in his abdomen that he held when he was a little nervous about something. Squeezing him where you held his forearms, you craned your head to look at him softly. “Is everything alright?”

He didn’t hesitate before nodding. “Yeah…yeah, I was just– I was wondering if maybe you’d be up to try something a little different tonight.”

Already assuming that he meant in bed, all of the filthy possibilities that sprang up in your mind dried your throat out and redistributed the wetness to another part of your body. Nodding enthusiastically, you turned around, cupping Danny’s jaw in your hands as you smiled and teased, “Of course, baby. But, I have to know…my dirty boy didn’t make the TSA agents rummage through chains and whips, did he?”

Danny rolled his eyes playfully, clicking his tongue as he answered, “Damn, you caught me. I knew the rattling in my suitcase would give me away when I got home.”

You laughed and leaned in to kiss him, your lips lingering much longer than you had intended them to. By the time you took them back, Danny’s wide palms were already splayed against your back and inching underneath your pajama top, which you had been fully aware would be taken off immediately when you’d slipped it on, but the act of undressing each other in these early homestay days never got old. “Well, with the way I attacked you as soon as you’d set foot in the doorframe, you could have had a siren going off in there and I wouldn’t have noticed.”

Danny nipped at your cheekbone and led you back towards the bed. “It’s an attack I’ll never grow tired of, believe me.”

Letting Danny scoot you both up towards the bed frame, you trailed a fingertip through the thatch of chest hair he’d been growing, thinking about moving to straddle him fully but deciding the muscle of his thigh was a very nice pressure point for you. “Well, if it’s not chains and whips, what is this new thing, then? You’ve got my full attention.”

“Um…” Danny seemed to grow bashful for a second, and he fiddled with the waistband of your sleep shorts to avoid looking at you. “It’s just something that I– I dunno, found out that I really like this past tour.”

You raised your brows, running through anything glaringly obvious but coming up with nothing, because you’d already watched him jerk himself off (many times, with the help of FaceTime for when you were several states away from each other), and you knew he hadn’t cheated on you. The only other thought that came to mind was anal play, and while the two of you had discussed it before, it wasn’t something he would have begun to experiment with on his own.

“You’ve stumped me.”

Danny put his hand to your hips and used his tour muscle to drag your center up the meat of his thigh and then off. “I’ll show you,” he decided. “Come on– clothes off.”

Giggling at his inability to voice his newfound kink, you did as he said, taking off your own clothes this time and biting your lip when you found Danny laid bare before you after your shirt was gone. The man was far too pretty for his own good, and every time he allowed you to see him like this, you fell more in love. 

“My god, you’re sexy,” you whistled appreciatively, and Danny cracked a grin as he pawed your ass.

“Takes one to know one.” Both of you huffed out a laugh at your cheesy banter, but you soon fell serious as Danny took himself in hand, captivating your full attention. After a few seconds, he met your eyes briefly. “You wanna come and get me wet, pretty baby?” he sighed, his words firmly setting the mood as he tilted his head back to rest on the headboard and he tugged his cock slowly, still dry and frictious. 

“Anything for you.” Instead of reaching for the lube in the nightstand drawer, you stroked the creases of his hips and centered yourself so that you had a bird’s-eye view of his movement before allowing some saliva to drip down.

Bullseye.

Danny hummed gratefully and worked it under his palm, stroking himself to full-mast quickly. Waiting for further direction, you let him touch himself quietly, the slicker sounds of his precum introduced soon after he worked up a firm tug, the skin of his cock pulling with each stroke of his hand. 

“This is what I did,” he said tightly, one leg twitching as he picked up his pace. You began to wonder what this new thing was, but even just watching while he was within your reach was enough to make you reach down and stick your thumb out so that you could grind your clit against it subtly, not wanting to distract Danny from whatever he wanted to do. “Every night, Y/N, I couldn’t help but think about you. I thought I’d be blind by the end of tour.”

You let out a breathless chuckle, trying not to imagine your boyfriend masturbating furiously over the tour bus toilet under the guise of a nightly piss so that the others wouldn’t have to hear anything. He’d admitted before that all four boys knew in the back of their heads that the others were doing the five-finger shuffle on the bus every so often – if only because they themselves were, too – but they’d all chosen to invest in higher-quality privacy curtains that blocked out more noise and had agreed early on that the bluetooth speaker playing sleep sounds stayed on all night for courtesy’s sake.

“Well, we already know that it’s true when they say your other senses heighten when one is taken away. Imagine the fun we could have if you did,” you rasped, unable to keep your eyes off the way his tip peeked through the hole at the top of his fist, his head wet and shiny. In no world were blowjobs the most enticing thing in the world, but Danny somehow made your mouth water every time like a Pavlovian dog.

At this point, you were getting ready to push his hand aside and have your way with him, not willing to wait until he recovered, because that was the direction he was aiming for– at least, from what his body was telling you– but as soon as you decided ‘too much, I need to touch,’ Danny abruptly let himself go and flattened his palm out on the mattress as his toes curled and thighs flexed.

“Oh god,” he hissed, voice cracking as his eyes fluttered closed. The way his dick was jumping said that just a little bit more would have pushed him over the edge, and you were only too happy to get him there. You’d have to specify later what was so new about this, but right now, you had laser focus on your boyfriend’s hard cock, honing in and intending to hear him cry out your name. But, as your hand was reaching for him, Danny peeled his eyes open and caught your wrist, preventing you from obtaining your prize. “No! Wait, wait, if you touch me, I’ll cum.”

You cocked a brow at him and hesitantly shuffled forward. “Yeah, I know. Did…you want to cum inside of me or something?” That could have been what he was talking about, since it was something you’d only just begun letting him do more now that you were on a new form of birth control.

But he shook his head again, even as his dick twitched at the offer. “No. I don’t…want to cum yet. I actually wanna do it again.”

Finally, it clicked, and you could have kicked yourself for being so oblivious. Edging. He’d figured out that he liked to edge himself on tour.

You met his eyes, heavy with his lust and now with yours as well, and you knew that he could see the understanding. With a big breath at your silent, encouraging nod, Danny took himself back in hand and started to pump once more.

“Here, let me make it a little easier.” As you leaned forward as you had before, you slid your hands further up his thighs, so close to his groin that his right hand hit your wrist on every downstroke. 

He groaned as your spit hit the head of his cock again. “Thanks, baby,” he croaked.

While you were sorely tempted to join him and begin touching yourself, you wanted this to be about him, since Danny obviously had an idea of how he wanted the night to go down. So, you stayed glued to him, but let him direct the scene, which was all entirely fine by you. That meant you were free to appreciate him – the way he blinked rapidly in an attempt to keep his eyes open, the way he took in sharp breaths when he began climbing up the ledge again, the scrunch of his knee, as if his entire body was trying to protect itself from the impending denial.

It was less abrupt this time. Danny didn’t seem to be at his peak when he stopped stroking himself, but he gulped and fixed you with his eyes, pupils so dark and dilated that you felt the call of the void to fall into them and never come out. “Want a turn?” he rumbled, voice deep and gritty with arousal.

“Hell yes,” you answered quickly, moving in to kiss him fervently before scooting in closer and placing a hand high on his thigh, scraping lightly with your nails and watching him shudder beneath your touch. “I’ve done this enough that I have faith in my ability to know when you’re close,” you told him with a small smile as you laid out your plan for Danny’s approval. You wanted him to have the greatest edging experience of his life, if that was what he wanted – he deserved everything, and you were willing to spoil him often because he did the same to you. “But do you still want to be the one to tell me when to stop? Think you can handle that?”

Danny groaned lowly, squeezing his eyes shut to ward off any premature notions his body might have entertained at the thought that this was real and happening and it was you doing it instead of himself. At least, that’s what you assumed, because you were feeling the exact same way.

“Yeah, I think I can do that,” he agreed breathlessly. “You can go ahead and start touching me; I’m good for now.” 

God, that was an understatement. He was phenomenal. Hard and thick in your hand when you gave him one last kiss and then wrapped your fingers around him, his pronounced ridge glided along your palm as you stroked him – up, down, up, twist, thumb across his slit. Danny looked so serene as you pumped his cock in your hand, his fingers flexing against the sheets and his ragged breaths the only indicators that you were jerking him off until you leaned closer to him, running your fingers up his midsection and chest lovingly.

You hummed, feeling warm skin, tense muscle, and eventually goosebumps as you stroked across his shoulder and down his arm. The double, rather paradoxical sensations sent Danny’s hips careening in your touch, the tip of his dick peeking from the space in your fist, which was drying out at an alarming rate, and with such a dry mouth as you had, you didn’t have much spit left to give. 

“Baby,” you said softly, loosening up your grip, “I’m gonna grab the lube, okay?” 

Danny nodded, watching you stretch to the nightstand drawer to retrieve the tube you two kept there. As you slicked your fist up with the substance, he lazily ran his thumb up his cock, stroking lightly just underneath the head. 

You tilted your head as you used one hand to stabilize yourself and help get you back to your spot at his side, where he took his hand away so that you could give him a quick stroke up to coat his skin. “How did you figure out you like this?” you asked softly, a small quirk of your lips playing at the corners of your mouth as he reacted to your subtle start – a harder, faster pace than you’d previously been stroking him with.

Danny’s jaw twitched, but you watched as he consciously relaxed most of his body. “I told you – felt like I was jerking off more nights than not, and then, one night, I just…didn’t want to stop thinking about you. Every night that I thought about you while I got myself off, I didn’t want to stop,” he sighed, gently rolling his hips into you again. With the way his dick kept twitching and leaking every so often, you were anticipating his breathy, ‘stop,’ any second now. “Just when I thought I was getting to the good part of the fantasy, you’d do something even better, and I didn’t want it to end.” His voice was strained and his words were fast, as if he were trying to squeeze them out before a timer went off and his window to tell you evaporated.

Keeping the pace up, you bent down to roll your tongue over his nipple before looking up at him. “Am I doing ‘fantasy me’ justice?”

Instead of using his words, Danny’s stomach clenched and he shot up, tightly grabbing your wrist and halting all movement as his face screwed up and he fought with his own body not to fuck into your hand again. “Yes! Yes, I– shit–shit, I was…that was close,” he said tightly, trying to reign himself in. 

You knew that, and you’d have taken him across the finish line if he hadn’t backtracked right at the last moment.

Once your hand was a safe distance away from him, Danny flopped back onto the pillows and blew out a shaky breath. “I don’t think I have enough imagination to think up a fantasy that could be better than having you here,” he said, taking your non-lubed up hand in his.

You snorted gently, blushing in the low light of the lamps, but still affectionately said, “You big cheeseball.”

Mesmerized with the way his stomach tensed and his chest heaved with his little chuckle, you put your mouth to his skin and hummed all the way up his throat, finally able to mark it up without him texting you that the makeup team harumphed at him again because of it. Danny quickly pulled your mouth to his, drinking from you desperately, and fumbled for your hand, wrapping his around when he found it, and brought both of you back to his cock, apparently already rearing to be touched once more. 

“Together this time,” he murmured against your lips. 

To you, there was no losing, no matter which way you did it. But this way, you still felt the warm, velvety skin of his dick in your hand along with his own firm palm guiding you up and down again all while trading wet, hot, open-mouthed kisses and listening to Danny’s breath hitch and catch. It was an interesting change – it faintly registered in your foggy mind that feeling Danny’s own pace and rhythm was a learning opportunity, but you were far too distracted to actually learn anything.

Even under his complementary grip, you had your free will to do anything you wanted, and you took advantage of that after a few minutes, tightening your grip and making his thighs contract unconsciously as you pulled at him for one rough stroke.

“God, baby,” he hissed between clenched teeth, brows pulled in and eyes shut tight at your rough handling of precious goods. “Oh fuck…fuck, Y/N, you gotta warn me next time.”

“Mm. I know you can take it, don’t lie to me,” you teased. You had an intimate knowledge of Danny’s kinks and limits, including that he liked it just a tad bit rough sometimes, and you highly suspected the only reason he was chastising you was because he didn’t want the game to be over quite yet.

He let out what was more of a wheeze as you kept pumping your hand up and down his cock, still steadily leaking as he got closer. You switched to a flat-handed rub that allowed your fingertips to trace and tickle the sensitive skin of his balls, and he was soon squirming and kicking, pushing shakily at your hand. “Stop! I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna– I’m…” his babble petered out into a low, tortured groan as you gave him reprieve from your touch, and he was left with nothing.

“Do you want to keep going?” you asked softly, wanting to check in on how he was feeling. He looked painfully hard right now, and you’d never seen his cock move so much on its own, jumping around on his stomach and leaving sticky trails of lube and precum that dotted the neat line of hair there. The rest of his body was rather shiny, as well, a light sheen of sweat reflecting dully in the lamplight and making him glow beautifully. 

This was hot – so hot – but the last thing you wanted to do was push him past his limits. Sadism wasn’t something you were particularly keen on, and the way his hand shook slightly as he groped for any part of your body that he could reach sure began to feel like it. You were hungry for his release – salivating over it now that it was being denied.

Danny finally caught your forearm, and stroked his thumb across it just to feel your skin under his. “Fuck, yes. This is the hottest thing and I’m not quite done with it yet,” he promised, both to you and himself. “Slowly now.” At his command, you returned your hand to his dick, but you only glided down his shaft once before he tensed and flinched away. “Wait–” You stopped in your tracks and shifted your eyes from your hand to his eyes, brows raised expectantly. He sluggishly blinked his own open and sheepishly huffed, “My bad, I…wasn’t as ready as I thought I was.”

His admission made you clench, mind wandering to what would have happened if you would have kept stroking him once, twice, three more times before you registered his time-out – the way his eyes would have scrunched shut, and his tongue would have peeked out from between his teeth, and his hips would have bucked, your name on his lips between each desperate, choked moan as he came, hot and viscous, across your hand and himself because he couldn’t stop it–

“Okay, I think I’m ready this time. Slow. Very slow.”

Realizing that you’d been staring blankly at his lips while you got ahead of yourself, Danny’s words shook you out of the daydream, returning you to the present where Danny was waiting for you to lavish him with attention again.

“Like this?” you asked demurely, teasingly dragging your fingertips up his shaft at a snail’s pace. Danny’s expression twitched, and you could feel a twitch from his dick that echoed it. “This slow enough? Light enough? Come on, Danny, tell me how you want it,” you implored, wanting him to lose it – you wanted him to grip your hand and keep it there as he fucked into your fist to completion, wanted him to bat it out of the way so that he could sloppily finish himself off, wanted him to beg you to bring him past his peak or take it forcefully.

Danny took a deep, grounding breath, and recollected himself despite your instigations, though, and met your heavy gaze with his own. How he was coherent at this point, you weren’t sure – had it been you in his situation, you were certain that you’d have been begging for release before this point, but…perhaps that was a hypothesis to be explored later.

“You want me to tell you? I thought you said you’d know,” he answered languidly, still fighting to retain his composure just as he was fighting to retain his pleasure. “But I can, if that’s what you want.” He hummed and wrapped his hand around the back of your neck, tugging you down for another deep kiss before lowly murmuring into your ear, “God knows you’ve entertained me enough tonight. Don’t move your hand until I tell you to, this time. You can have your power back after that, you megalomaniac.”

The tables had flipped so suddenly, but it didn’t stop you from wiggling down to place a quick kiss on his sternum, looking up at him from behind your lashes and saying, “You go on tour with the Kiszkas and come back a thesaurus, huh?”

Danny quirked his lips up lightly, but he wasn’t about to let the moment fade. “Worry about that later; wrap that pretty little fist around me now, Y/N. I can only take so much teasing.”

His double-entendre would have made you laugh if you weren’t busy doing what he said, wondering if he would really let you take over completely the next time. All you had to do was edge him once more, and then you might have a shot at your prize. “My apologies,” you murmured, “let me make it up to you.”

Danny settled back into the cushions and watched you wait. “Thank you,” he said, cheek present even under the thick layer of gritty lust and desire. “Now be a good girl and stroke me.” 

“Of course, rockstar.” You gave him one pump up to the tip of his cock, and then a twist back down, but that was all. Danny’s eyes fluttered closed.

“Stroke.”

Again, the same way. You saw his hips twitch and gave him another stroke without prompt, but he peeked his eyes open to glare at you, so you swallowed your smile and let your hand rest loose at his base. 

“Stroke.” This time, you revisited that proclivity for a bit of rough treatment, and squeezed a bit harder when your fist enclosed his tip, and he grunted as you backed off and went back down to sit and wait. “Again, Y/N– just like that...uh-huh.” 

His pleasure came out in a hiccup as you gave him another tight stroke and then squeezed lightly at his base, feeling his balls contract against your pinkie. 

“Stroke.” 

His voice was constricted, and you could tell he wanted more. It must have been hell, creeping along like he was and only getting one stroke at a time – it certainly made you reconsider whether sadism and masochism had a place in your bedroom if Danny really liked it this much. His face was scrunched up in pleasure and desperation as you gave him another stroke, and as you brought your hand back down his shaft, he bucked up into your grasp and stilled as another bead of precum appeared at his tip.

You thought that would be it, but apparently, Danny was looking to push his boundaries this time. “Stroke.”

Half-expecting him to erupt in your hand, you did as you were told, and Danny just about nearly whimpered at your touch .

“Stop,” he said, his voice not as strong this time and quivering slightly at the end. 

It wouldn’t be long now. Each time, his recovery period had been getting longer and the time your hand actually spent on his dick, shorter. He was approaching his orgasm faster and faster, as if his body was revolting against the treatment and attempting to overthrow his wishes, and you were confident that he would willingly go over the edge this time.

His heart was nearly beating out of his chest when you placed your palm to it a minute later, and you knocked your forehead against his, as sweaty as he was. “About done, or do you wanna take it further?” He swallowed harshly and hesitated, and your own heartbeat picked up in excitement. 

“Couple more.”

You kissed him and began dragging your body down his. “I’m gonna use my mouth this time. Do you think you can handle that, baby?”

Danny chased your lips and watched heavily as you settled between his legs, adoration shining in his gaze. “I can handle you. Give me your worst.”

With a smirk at his challenge, you gently pulled the skin of his balls between your lips, laving your tongue over the area before letting it pop out. You followed the move with a quick shot upwards, sucking your boyfriend’s cock down in one fell swoop.

Danny hissed above you, big hand coming to rest on the back of your head as you bobbed, fast and mercilessly. “Fuck me, I knew I shouldn’t have – ah– said that,” he grunted, gently taking your head between his palms in a silent request. You slowed to a stop, acquiescing to his desire, and he braced himself on the bed before gently fucking himself into your mouth, breathing heavily and letting a stream of curses and praises tumble from his mouth with every exhale.

“Goddamn, baby– you’re so, so good to me. Such a good girl for me and– ah…got the best fucking mouth I’ve ever had–” He twitched violently between your lips, so hard it engaged your gag reflex, and he quickly pulled you off of him.

Your eyes were still watering as you watched him clutch his spit-shined erection in his hand with a vice grip, trying to simulate a cock-ring to not allow himself to cum just yet – but he had to be close to breaking.

“Jesus Christ, Danny,” you panted, leaning over his groin to avoid hitting anything too volatile. You took his other hand and shoved it between your legs, pressing his fingers through the mess there without regard to how his body would react. He groaned shakily and tightened his grip on his cock even more, sinking two fingers into you since they were already there. “Your resolve is unreal.”

He looked at you with hooded, hazy eyes, distractedly glancing down to where he was drawing out explicitly wet noises from you. “Not anymore. Take me all the way, baby.”

Your chest swelled with euphoria with his permission and you kissed him, dragging your tongue across his for a second before pulling away. “I was starting to think that I was going to spontaneously finish before you would let yourself cum..”

“Yeah?” Danny asked, crooking his fingers inside of you to make sure you knew that if you were going to cum, it wouldn’t be spontaneous. “You need some lovin’ too, pretty baby, don’t ya?” He bit his lip and guided his hand with you when you straddled his legs so that they could remain tucking inside, not knowing what you were going to finish him off with. “What about this? Think you might wanna be next?” His words were lazy and he was leaving off parts of his sentences in favor of taking deep breaths.

Your teeth clamped together to hold back a rather embarrassing mewl as his thumb danced around your clit lightly, tickling it just enough to have your hips chasing after his touch but not enough to give you any real relief. It just pushed you higher, made you wetter, and gave you more reason to make Danny cum within an inch of his sanity now.

Gripping his wrist and pulling away from his torturous touch, you guided it up to his mouth where he slipped his two fingers between his lips. “Like it?” Danny gazed expectantly at you as he sucked harshly on your digits, making sure they were all clean when you pulled them away. “God, rockstar, I can’t believe we never tried this sooner.”

Danny’s cock twitched against his stomach, and you had to stop yourself from answering its call. Looking back to Danny’s face, he had his gaze fixated on you, eyelids fluttering yet trained on you still. “You or me?”

“Both,” you answered lowly. “I think you’d have fun torturing me like this.”

Danny closed his eyes and let out a breathy grunt, deep from the back of his throat. “Then that makes two of us.”

That, however, was a discussion for another night. Right now, you had a different mission, and you slid your hand down the expanse of his heaving chest and stomach, your thumb grazing the line of his oblique that led down to your prize before taking him lightly in hand and rubbing a thumb just underneath the head to watch him tense up and squirm. “How do you wanna cum, Danny? This is your night.”

He wasted no time in answering, having already known what he wanted. “I want you to choose. Surprise me.”

You bit your lip, mulling over the options you had at hand. Quite literally, since Danny had gingerly relinquished his cock to your mercy. You could watch him as you brought him to the edge with your hand but, this time, take him over. Or, you could pin his hips to the bed and tell him not to move this time while you tasted his relief. Maybe he’d appreciate being nestled between your lips, helping you grind on him like you were teenagers until he made a mess all over your belly and his.

You wanted to do it all. God, you wanted to, but the last remaining option was just too damn tempting with how your body wept to be filled. “It might be fun,” you murmured, mostly to yourself as you slid up into his lap and listened to Danny gasp as your wet cunt finally came into contact with his dick, “wouldn’t take much at all, actually, to line you up, slide you in nice and slow, snug and safe inside of me, if only for a second…”

“Y/N,” Danny bleated, his cock quickly becoming wetter with his precum, a sure sign of impending release. He never said anything else, though, and you wondered if he knew whether he was begging for release or begging you to not to make him cum just like this, sitting so close to your body, where he desperately wanted to take his relief.

“I could watch you fall apart like that,” you said, snapping your fingers as you gripped the base of his dick in your hand. Your pinky was able to reach down and stroke the side of his balls, and you swallowed heavily, another wave of arousal making you even wetter as you felt just how firm and heavy they were. 

He was so damn close, and holding the power was once again making you reconsider your thoughts on sadism of the pleasurable kind.

Just to heighten the anticipation, you lifted your leg over one of his and took your weight off of his hips, instead opting to press your core to the meat of his thigh and begin to ride it like you would his cock. Immediately, his hand found your hip, pushing and pulling in tandem to get you a better rhythm. “I could straddle you,” you whispered in his ear, finding pleasure in the friction to your clit. “Get you nice and wet, then warm you up. And you could cum inside me. Do you want to cum like that?”

Danny let out a broken moan. “Yes, Y/N, please. I can’t– my brain is barely functioning right now, I need to cum.”

Just talking about it made your pussy ache. Like a phantom with Danny’s cock had come up behind you, you could practically feel the stretch, the shared warmth between the two of you, the dull pressure of your walls attempting to close around him and keep him there forever.

You fished for his hand on your hip and led it down to where you were furiously getting off on your previous choice of skin and placed his fingers just where you needed them, using him to climb up to your own peak while holding Danny steady in your hand. You did want to cum together. But you were going to need a little bit of help to get as close as you knew he was.

“Atta girl,” Danny praised, voice shaky and soft, yet uncomplaining about his own denial. “Use me however you want to. Just– fuck, baby, just make me cum with you.”

“Close your eyes, then,” you huffed, becoming out of breath from the work you were putting in. After months away, physical sex was much more tiring than using your toys, but you and Danny were training hard to increase your stamina. Hard and often, these days.

He did as you asked, and right as you felt like everything balled up inside of you was going to explode, you made good on your words and threw your other leg over him, not giving any warning before you sank down on him and continued your ride with just as much intensity, pace unfaltering even as he cried out in surprise and fucked up into you. 

Danny’s eyes flew open, and you whined pitifully as his body took over at the sudden constriction of heat and wetness, bruising your hips in his grip and using his planted feet to crush your hips together each time you came down. 

“Oh god, oh god, oh god– fuck!” he yelled, head thrown back into the pillows as his back arched and he held you down with all of the strength left in his body, making sure you wouldn’t get away as he pumped himself once more into you. 

You felt it all – the warmth flooding into your body, each burst seeming like it would never end; you’d be just as happy watching Danny’s face contort as it was forever, but your own orgasm took precedence over keeping your eyes open enough to see the show. “Danny, Danny–” His name was cut off by mewls and yips and a case of the shakes that slapped your thighs against his as your muscles contracted and milked Danny for all he was worth.

When all was said and done, and you were still poised on locked elbows looming over Danny as he soothingly ran his hands over the curves of your hips and waist and belly as you both caught your breath in relative silence, breathing soft nothings into the space between you.

“I love you.”

“So good to me.”

“You’re incredible.”

“I’m so glad you’re home so that we could do that in person,” you whispered into his neck, having finally lowered yourself for more skin contact.

Danny tightened his arms, wrapped and tangled like tentacles around you. “I’m glad that I am, too,” he whispered back into your hair. “It’s my favorite place to be. Right here.”

You giggled. “Inside of me?”

His lips curved up against your temple and one of his hands reached down to grope your ass, unintentionally pushing you against him where he was still buried. “I mean…that too. Let me be romantic, will you?”

Sighing contentedly, you brought your hand up to the back of his head, gently rubbing a spot at the base of his skull that you knew made him purr like a kitten. You just wanted your hands on him, keeping him within your reach now that you could have him there. 

“Alright, alright.” Knowing that he needed it too, you shifted to allow your hand to join your other at the back of his head, gazing lovingly down at him. He had hooded eyes, belying his sleepiness, but it didn’t stop him from smiling up at you softly, humming when you gave him an eskimo kiss before resting your forehead against his. “You’re my favorite place, too, you know,” you said, just in case he needed to be reminded again. “And I’m really, really, glad that you’re home.”

~~~

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[woso-fan13]

Catching Flights (And Also so Many Feelings)

“You have your boots?” Alex asked as she guided you through the airport. 

“Seriously, Alex? We’re going to the World Cup, of course I’ve got my boots.”

“And you are sure you have everything you need in your Little suitcase?” Kelley asked from your other side. 

“My moms packed that, so I guarantee I have more than enough. Come on guys, I’m Big right now.”

Alex held one hand up in mock defense, the other remaining intertwined with yours. Kelley ruffled your hair slightly, 

“We know, kid, but we promised your moms we would look after you. I have no doubt that they would fly around the world to hurt Alex and I if they found out we weren’t checking on you. And they’d swaddle you up and take you back to California with them.”

You chuckle slightly at Kelley’s words, but you have no doubt that they actually would. Your moms were obviously thrilled when you got called up for the World Cup team, but they stressed because neither of them would be there. The stress only multiplied when they realized that your pseudo-big sister, Mal, wouldn’t be there either. 

The three of you had made it into the security line before anyone spoke next. 

“You’ve got a pull-up on, right buddy?” Kelley whispered down to you. 

“Kellll,” you whine, stretching the word. “‘m big, promise. Don’t need one.”

Alex and Kelley both manage to hide their smiles as they hear you beginning to slip. The rest of the team in line behind you, noticing your slight changes, started placing bets on how long Big you would last. 

Matching glances from Alex and Kelley have you wiggling slightly. 

“I do, Mama made me,” you whisper sadly. 

Both women silently thank Christen for fighting this battle for them. Now they just needed to keep it on you. 

Alex squeezes your hand tightly in response, leading you forward as the line moves. 

They reached a split in the line, an officer standing and directing every other person to each line. As he looked at you, you dropped- hard. Your hand clung to Alex, your other hand desperately reaching for Kelley. Tears filled your eyes as you realized now you wouldn’t have your moms or your stand-in parents. 

Kelley pulled you fully into her, rocking you slightly and whispering soothing things as Alex pleaded to allow the three of you together. As she babbled some excuse about you being a first time flier, the officer just looked pointedly at her and continued echoing, “every other line.”

The two adults looked behind them, grateful to see Kristie already shifting her bags so she could gather you into her arms. 

“C’mere buggy,” she coos quietly to you, noticing the tears on your cheeks. 

Reluctantly, you let go of Kelley and allow Kristie to pull you into her. Alex and Kelley sigh as they see your knuckles turn white from gripping her shirt, but they are quickly escorted to their appropriate line. 

Kristie struggles to pull both of your bags and keep you tucked into her as she guides the two of you towards the security you were directed to. In an impressive feat, she manages to get all of the baggage onto the conveyor belt. 

At this point, Lindsey steps in from behind. She takes you from Kristie, distracting you while pulling off your shoes. Kristie takes this opportunity to hurry through her screening, turning around after to wait for you. 

Lindsey, her arms still around you, directs you up to the machine. You try to toddle directly through to Kristie, but are quickly stopped. Tears drip slowly as you’re made to stand for your screening. 

The situation is only made worse when you need to be patted down. Kristie tries to protest, but it dies on her lips as she receives a glare from an agent. Lindsey and Kristie watch from opposite sides as you begin sobbing. Luckily, it was over quickly and a very confused TSA agent ushered you over to Kristie. She doesn’t hesitate to pick you up, holding you close as she begins trying to calm you down. 

With a sobbing baby in her arms, she moves to try to collect the baggage off of the belt. Lindsey and Emily- who also was in this line- wave her off. They grab both of your luggage, allowing Kristie to turn her full attention to you. 

Alex and Kelley see the group walking towards them, your face hidden in Kristie’s neck as she carries you. Your sobs had slowed to hiccups at this point, but you were still visibly upset. 

Alex quickly hands her bags off to Kelley, cooing as she pulls you into her arms. You go willingly, a teary mess. Your face was coated in tears and snot, and your breath was hitching and irregular as you babbled something that sounded suspiciously like a call for your moms. Alex placed her lips on the top of your head in a firm kiss, stroking your hair back. 

You had somewhat cheered up by the time the team had reached the gate. After verifying that the gate they needed actually existed, they find an empty alcove nearby. This was the start of their next mission, which involved tiring you out as much as possible. 

Over the next few hours, you were passed around to various members of the team. Kelley and Emily sat on the floor across the room from each other, rolling a ball. They allowed you to toddle after it, only passing the ball when you got close. The game eventually ended when you had fallen over too many times and had gotten frustrated at not having the ball. After Alex had to scrape your crying form off the floor, this game was no longer allowed. Various rounds of tag, peek-a-boo filled the remaining time. 

Soon, an overhead announcement informed the team that boarding would begin in 30 minutes. Alex and Kelley scooped you and your diaper bag up, toting you off to the family restroom. Despite your grunting and wiggling- and a very close call to you rolling onto the floor- the two had gotten you changed into a nighttime diaper and your pajamas. The crocodile footy pajamas may raise some eyebrows, but weirder things happen in the airport. 

Dressed for bed, the two women take you back to the quiet area that the team had camped out in. Most members were off buying plane snacks and making final trips to the bathroom, so it was relatively calm. The three of you cuddle into a corner, and Alex pulls out her phone and quickly FaceTimes your moms. Your face lights up and you reach out for the screen. All four women feel their hearts break as you reach out, confused as to why your moms weren’t hugging you back. Christen leaves the frame slightly to compose herself when you start sniffling, tears pooling in your eyes. Tobin quickly distracts you, and soon you’re giggling at how silly your Mommy is. 

 Too soon, it’s time to board the plane. A teary goodbye was said, your moms blowing you tons of kisses. You wetly kiss your hand, shoving it at the phone screen- returning their kisses with just as much love. 

Boarding was easy compared to security. The gate agent didn’t bat an eye as you were rolled up on the top of Kelley’s suitcase in pajamas. She simply scanned your tickets and wished you a nice flight. 

The team settled into their section of the plane, pulling the curtains around them. You were comfortably sitting between Kelley and Alex, constantly leaning over Kelley to try and see out of the window. You were soon distracted as the safety messages began playing on the screen on the seat in front of you. You lean forward, Alex’s arm around your waist to keep you from toppling off of your seat. You begin jabbing at the buttons, curiously investigating the new technology. A head pops up from the seat in front of you, Megan playfully glaring at you. 

“Why’s there a monster attacking the back of my seat?! Who even let a monster on the plane?”

You break out in rambunctious giggles at how silly Megan’s being. There’s no monster on the plane, it’s just you! 

Soon enough, the plane begins taxing towards the runway. Alex hands you a bottle of milk, guiding it to your mouth as you begin taking off. You whimper and fuss slightly at the changes, but the two women calmly comfort you and keep you suckling on the bottle. As soon as the plane is leveled out, Kelley undoes your seatbelt and pulls you into her lap. She cradled you, taking the bottle from your hands. 

You're happier now that you’re in your usual position. You’re just a little baby, and your Mama always fed you your baba. It was much too big and heavy for you, and it was your special time. She would cradle you in one arm, gently feeding you your baba with the other hand. And she would always sing a song or tell you a story. Then, when you had drunk all of your milk like the good girl you were, she would quickly burp you so your tummy wouldn’t hurt. Then, the two of you would rock in the big comfy chair, Mama stroking your face until you fell asleep. You never had to fall  asleep in your crib, unless you had been really naughty. 

Your eyelids are beginning to droop as you reach the halfway point of your bottle. Still, you are moving slightly- unsettled. Until Alex slips headphones over your ears and holds her phone up in front of you. 

Your face lights up when you see Christen on the phone. Alex had teased Christen and Tobin for pre-recording a massive amount of videos for you, but they seemed to know what they were doing. 

The two women on the plane watched as your sleepy eyes started lovingly and intently at your Mama on the screen. Between the lull of the plane, the warm bodies surrounding you, and your Mama on the phone, you fell asleep quickly. 

Kelley and Alex were exhausted and the World Cup hadn’t even begun. 

[jewish-privilege]

...As an Ethiopian Jew living in America, it can be frustrating having to constantly feel like your identity is under suspicion by not only other Jews but also people who have absolutely no knowledge of Jews or Judaism. I’ve complained alongside my Moroccan, Yemeni, and Persian friends countless times about the different microaggressions and plain ignorance of our fellow Jews and non-Jews alike; this can range from a friend’s grandparent making an inappropriate remark to being held up at the airport as the TSA agent looks over your last name once again. I remember in eighth grade history class, hearing my teacher profess how “the Holocaust was stupid because Jews are essentially white.” As a young person who still had no clue how to react when an authority figure behaved ignorantly, all I could do was sit there in silence.

I will not be silent any longer.

For a lot of people, the idea of “Jew” equals “white,” and that leads to a range of annoying to downright insulting encounters while navigating the spaces where we should feel we belong.

In America, many of us are faced with the threat of anti-Semitism that scars the whole of our community, but we’re also faced with the ingrained and monstrous beast that is racism. It happens like this: You overhear terms like “shvartze,” the Yiddish word for black that is considered a slur against Black people, whispered while meeting a friend’s extended family. Your mother is harassed by a random security guard as she picks you up from working Sunday school at the J.C.C. The police harass you following a cousin’s bar mitzvah. These are just some of the forms of harassment that I and my loved ones have experienced in spaces where all Jews are supposed to be able to safely congregate. More often than not, members of our communities are put in precarious positions in regards to dealing with bigotry that presents itself in spaces meant to for all Jews.

...Ashkenormativity is a unique form of eurocentrism that has found its way into Jewish culture. In a twisted way, the “whiteness” that became a hallmark of power due to European colonialism has been able to become a boon for white-passing Jews, in particular Ashkenazim. While in much of actual Europe, anti-Semitism is so deeply rooted that even having white skin doesn’t necessarily enable you with privilege, in the unique case of America, it allows for a situational point of privilege that changes based on the whim of the majority. The same way that in so much of society, we have defined white people as the “default” person, a similar sentiment has translated into defining the Ashkenazi as the “normative” Jew.

For Jews of Color — some of whom are Ashkenazi themselves though still face racism based on the color of their skin — we are not only asking for our fellow Jews to use the privilege they do have in non-Jewish society to better the lives of others; we are demanding to be equal members of our own Jewish communities.

This is not only an American issue. In Israel, even though our Jewishness is no longer seen as a threat, we still face the brutal realities of racism. The slayings of Solomon Teka and Yehuda Biadga last year have caused widespread communal outrage and have brought to the forefront the issues of racism and police brutality in Israeli society. Out of the six Ethiopian Israeli men murdered over the last five years, only the death of one was prosecuted and the sentence only carried the weight of three years. It took until this past January for Haymanot Judaism, the religious practices unique to Beta Israel (Ethiopian Jews), to be fully acknowledged by the Chief Rabbinate as an authentic form of Judaism, despite the ruling of late Chief Rabbi Ovadia Yosef in the early 1970s and decisions made in 2014 to recognize Haymanot Judaism. This means that for the last few decades, many Ethiopian Jews living in Israel either had to convert to Rabbinic Judaism or jump through hoops to be able to engage in major life events like marriage.

Systemic racism from both religious and policing structures in Israel have only worked to attempt to assimilate Ethiopian Jewry in a way that is grossly inappropriate. This includes incidents like the distribution of birth control to Ethiopian women without giving them full disclosure on the effects, throwing out blood donations given by Ethiopians, and sending Ethiopian teens off to boarding schools after settling into Israel. These were all on top of police practices like racial profiling as well as racism from fellow Israelis. Now we are seeing the younger generation taking an active and aggressive stance in protecting themselves and their rights as fellow Israeli citizens against the structures that their own parents couldn’t fight against.

The list of injustices goes on: Out of the many issues of disgusting racism that have occurred against the Mizrahi Jews, one of the most chilling is the disappearances of the over 1000 Yemeni children in the 1950s that until the last two decades went widely under-investigated. Systemic segregation was used as a weapon against many Mizrahi Jews who came to live in Israel. Segregation, religious intolerance, economic inequality, and harassment led to the formation of HaPanterim HaShhorim, the Israeli Black Panthers, in the ’70s to fight against the discrimination faced by Mizrahi and Sephardi Jews. Even today as society improves, there is an education and wealth disparity between Mizrahi and Ashkenazi Jews.

Historically, there has also been a bad habit of the Ashkenazim attempting to triumph their own traditions as greater or more authentic, leading to times when Ethiopian and Indian Jews have been pressured to “convert” as if they weren’t already Jewish.

Even the very way we define Zionism needs to change. Theodor Herzl, the Austrian Jew largely credited as “the father of political Zionism,” was an assimilationist. His viewpoint on what the Jewish state of the future would become was fashioned in a way that only took in the perspective of the non-religious Ashkenazim who frequented his circles. Herzl also supported the Ottoman government against the Armenian rebellion for independence, which resulted in the Armenian genocide.

The issue at the heart of the Zionism that dominates our culture is that the person who we are so quick to give credit to left out a huge portion of our people and didn’t intend on ever including us. Crediting a single person for the dream of Jewish liberation and sovereignty overlooks the fact that our culture, people, and faith thrives because of the fluidity and strength of our many traditions. We should instead credit our families, communities, leaders, and more importantly, ourselves, with the continued survival of our people.

We come from a tradition that calls for us to actively reinterpret what we were left to inherit. For our community to effectively come together, we need to have more hard discussions and push for change. At this point we should not have to ask; we demand our fellow Jews to give us an actual spot at the table.

[sohin-ace]

Polnareff - Cop

This is cross-posted from Wattpad and available on AO3.

Enjoy~

Cop reader

The crusaders were pursuing their difficult trip, driving on a bumpy mountain road with seemingly no obstacles or enemy stands to throw a wrench in their works. Overall the drive was safe, except for the fact that today, Polnareff was the driver to everyone's dismay.

Joseph was sitting in the passenger's seat next to Polnareff and Kakyoin, Abdol and Jotaro were in the back, all suffering his poor driving skills and the violent jerking of the car.

"Polnareff, slow down! You're gonna get us killed!" yelled Joseph.

"Why are you even driving like that, have you even seen the road?" Abdol added, scolding.

"Shut up! I know what I'm doing!"

As he said that and as if on cue, the boys heard a police siren going off and the fair haired man saw the red and blue headlights behind him through the rearview mirror.

"Et merde..." he cursed in his mother tongue as he pulled over and stopped.

"See? Now the police are there, you're so irresponsible sometimes!" Joseph puffed annoyed at the unnecessary commotion.

"Come on give me a break." He then heard a frantic knock on the window and started rolling it down.

"Yeah yeah, I fucking heard yo- ooh Hi~" He started frustrated but his entire tone shifted as the opened window revealed the figure of a beautiful H/C haired lady in front of him.

"Hello gentlemen." you glanced at the passengers as they greeted you back before looking back at the driver. "Sir, I assume you know why I pulled you over?"

You spoke clear and professional, but to Polnareff, your voice was extremely sexy and his blood was boiling by the second.

"No, but please do tell me~" He said seductively before being nudged by Joseph who clearly didn't want trouble with the police now of all times.

You sighed and leaned your forearm over the top of the window frame, a simple gesture that sparked his insides, as he now had a towering view of your enticing curves.

Were they allowed to hire such sexy women in the police force?

"Speeding, sir. This road is 50km/h, you are 40km/h over the limit. You do know what that means, right?"

Joseph was almost fuming and Abdol face palmed. Kakyoin wanted to say something, to maybe defuse the situation, but decided it was best to stay silent for now.

Polnareff gulped and tried to smooth talk you out of trouble.

"Listen lady, you see, me and my buddies over here, we're not from the area, we're having a hard time with our trip and stuff..." he trailed off and your patience was running low as you sighed again.

You were used to the same excuses all the time. If it were just you, you would let them go with a little bit of lecturing on safety driving. But you had to do your job and 40km/h was an excessive fault.

"Turn off the engine." He obeyed, almost frantically. "Driver's license and registration, please."

Polnareff complied again. He didn't want his mind racing with dirty thoughts of you, but he couldn't help it. Your demanding tone turned him on badly and the man could never resist a beautiful woman in uniform.

You checked his papers and fortunately for him everything was correct and in good order. Polnareff looked calm, but he was sweating bullets and Joseph was waiting impatiently, judging his friend silently.

Your silky voice startled them. "In normal circumstances, I would have held you in custody, but..."

You then glanced at the two teenagers in the back who were silent the whole time. The brunet wearing a tired face and the red head almost begging you with his purple eyes.

"I'm in a good mood, so for now you'll just get away with a fine. Don't expect this to happen again, understood?" You leaned your body to the car door on your side as you were filling the ticket.

"Ooh thank you so much, miss, you're too good..." He then leaned in close to you. "Sooo... Since you're in a good mood how about you get me in a good mood, if you know what I'm saying~"

You leaned back from the car biting your lip, put the ticket bundle, your pen and his documents in your back pocket and ordered.

"Out of the car, hands on your head. Now."

The boys all huffed in unison as Polnareff flinched and slowly got out of the car, defeated. It was a cacophony of frustrated grunts.

"OH COME ON!!!"

"What?? No, wait!"

"Yare yare daze..."

"I can't believe that man."

The guy still managed to get into trouble even when you decided to be nice and let them go. They all were so mad that their friend somehow could not keep his big mouth shut even in a dire situation.

Polnareff got out of the car and closed the door shut. He stood tall in front of you and neither of you faltered. You both stared at each other's eyes for long seconds, unblinking, until he slowly raised his arms over the back of his head while turning around, surrendering to you, his gaze not leaving yours until he was fully turned around.

You swiftly put the tall man in an armlock and he was baffled by how strong you actually were for such a petite looking lady.

He also wondered how you could lock him in such a tight restraint while still being so delicate. You were a mystery to him and he loved every single bit of it.

Before he could think further you dragged him over to your own service car and he heard his blood pumping in his ears, feeling lightheaded just by you pushing him around. You then bent and pinned him over the car hood with a hand on his shoulder, getting ready to proceed to a search.

To be honest you weren't mad or offended at all. You just secretely wanted to mess with the french man who seemed to have made your heart jump. You weren't even allowed to search him, you just felt like he wouldn't mind it though.

You giggled to yourself silently, making sure he didn't notice. In this industry, especially as a woman, you had to show no signs of weakness and be as strict as it gets.

But sometimes you were tired of the stone cold facade. Polnareff made you feel like a schoolgirl again, even if you couldn't really show it, obviously.

Even if you were used to perverts and guys hitting on you to not get any trouble, Polnareff seemed like an actual funny guy, not gross or scary. At this point if someone was scared of the other, it was more him of you.

His breathing sped up and his heart pounded in his chest. He was feeling many different emotions right now and barely knew what to do. He never felt this submissive in his entire life. His mind was all over the place.

Your hand firmly gripped on his wrists and your sweet perfume still dancing in the air enticed him even more. He got back from his trance when he felt your other hand no longer on his shoulder and heard the clanking of handcuffs.

"Aah- w-w-wait !! I'm sorry I was joking haha, please don't take me!" He pleaded.

You pressed your body further against his back and he swore he was going to explode any second. You basically had your front area pressing his crotch against the car, from the back. The whole situation was at the same time scary, thrilling and arousing to him.

"WAIT! Please officer, listen to me!" You turned your head to see Joseph hurrying towards you and you stopped, backing away slightly, losening your grip on the poor man in front of you.

Joseph came up to you and tried to talk you out of taking his friend to jail and profusely appologized for his behavior. He used of his eloquence to explain to you that they were traveling with limited amount of time in their hands and were having hardships along the way.

You understood and let go of Polnareff while you listened to Joseph's story. You actually took a liking to the old man and you both nicely agreed on letting it go as long a Joseph was driving.

After finishing talking with the Joestar, he went back into the car, this time in the driver's seat as promised and Polnareff followed suit.

You tapped on the guy's shoulder, who was rubbing his strained wrists and as he turned around, you shoved the ticket and documents onto his chest playfully.

"Sorry about this, I got a bit rough on you while you didn't even have drugs or anything." you chuckled cutely which actually amazed him slightly.

"Drugs? Wait... Was the whole 'pinning me against the car' thing not in the process??"

"You said you wanted to be in a good mood, no?" You glanced down below his belt and smirked before walking back to your car and finally drove off.

He stayed there speechless until he was brought back to reality by Joseph honking, gesturing him to get his ass back in the car.

Bonus:

"I can't believe we lost so much time because you couldn't shut up."

Polnareff stayed silent, for once. Finding his silence odd, Joseph glanced back at him slightly and did a double take as he noticed the bulge on his friend's pants.

"You're not fucking serious..."

"SHE WAS SMOKING HOT OKAY?? YOU CAN'T BLAME ME, DID YOU EVEN SEE WHAT SHE DID TO ME BACK THERE??"

"What's going on?" Kakyoin asked, leaning over from the back seat.

"Dude got a boner from that police girl." Jotaro deadpanned and Abdol couldn't help the snicker out of his mouth.

"Wow... I mean, yes she was beautiful but.. This is..." Kakyoin trailed off, judgement in his voice.

"SHUT UP ALREADY YOU BASTARDS!"

Inspired by the times when I was a TSA agent lol shittiest job in the universe but made me realize that the uniform kink is a real thing.

[curious-minx]

A strong Bob’s Burgers flutters its wings of relevancy. The Simpsons get rid of the Simpsons.

“Your parents are what’s wrong with society” - Bob to Linda 

The best thing about the latest season of Bob’s Burgers is that it does not full on embrace the reality of the Pandemic, but finds way to tip around relevant issues. As a viewer my heart’s ache for Louise grows stronger while 2020 concerts being canceled. Gene’s holiday spent in writhing illness induced  agony isolation from his family is more than just an upset stomach. In this latest episode, “The Terminalator II: Terminals of Endearment,”a care-free frolic through an airport terminal becomes a lot more compelling as many of us viewers are wondering if we will ever darken an airport gate ever again.

What hits this weary viewer harder than sickly nostalgia for plastic airport food court offerings or impulse buy stores that look like drug fronts , but Bob’s disdain for seeing his elderly Floridian in-laws. The hackiest, most tired horse in the comedy stable becomes so much more with Quarantine brain.  The question this episode poses is,“Why bother traveling when you can have all the necessary family bonding at the airport?” The episode answers this question by gifting us Veep’s Timothy Simons’ audience surrogate TSA member. The Airport in general gets a pretty good wrap in the Bob’s Burgers verse. The employees working the airport are more or less helpful and patient with this meandering family’s hijinks, none of the sinister heartless bureaucracy seen in Babe Pig in The City. This is the detail that makes the slight nod and wink to Wings work as more than a wink or a nod. Having a fun TSA worker though instead of someone working at one of those airport stores that sell watches or an airport restauranteur would have been fun, but Jon Glaser and Timothy Simons are two thorny gentlemen born to play a genial front service and TSA agents. 

Seen above: Renee Taylor voicing Allen Gregory’s Principal 

Seeing our family over the holidays is often as thoughtless as checking a box, “I’m not a robot, I like to spend time with my family. I’m a good person.” Despite the fact that spending time with our families is often an exhaustive wringing out your brain of passive aggressive needling. For the Belcher’s the elderly are not founts of wisdom but are over grown toddlers too loud, leaky, creaky and confused to be much in the way of fun. They are not hate mongers like many of ours Nanas and Peepaws, Linda’s parents only serve as catalysts for casually paced shenanigans. Linda’s parents Al, voiced by series regular Sam Seder and the iconic Renee Taylor as Gloria are relegated to being flaky from eczema and too loud on the phone. One underlying thread present in this episode is that Linda has a lot in common with her parents making her the perfect Parental pawn. At one point in the episode Louise explicitly drives home how similar Linda and her mom’s voices are. For me this read as the show winking at John Roberts’ performance as Linda being largely indebted to an icon like Renee Taylor. Taylor once vivacious sex pot Eva Braun in the Producers more or less becomes overshadowed by her role as Sylvia Fine in the Nanny. Although I would be remiss to say that Renee Taylor is no stranger to the Fox Animation Domination family previously starring as the Principal in Allen Gregory. 

The episode inspired me to go back and revisit one of John Roberts Brooklyn Mom videos he was performing in the mid 00’s. His video “Mother’s Day” essential serves as a demo reel for Linda and in general a truly fine piece of online comedy video filmmaking. Roberts’ takes what could be a loud and brash stereotype and really takes his beats and delivers an authentic character that provides the foundation for Linda. The pacing and energy of this video is a stark contrast to the modern comedy front-facing camera comedy videos littering Twitter timelines and Tik Toks. The fact that John Roberts still approaches Linda as a sympathetic fully dimensional character which is not often the case in live-action sitcoms. 

The sideplot with Louise dragging her siblings on a campaign for decorative first flyer wings is a succinct and nice addition preventing the episode from being too claustrophobic. The image of an emergency bed bound Teddie as a result of a food allergy is one of those things visuals that once again that lands much differently with Quarantine brain. Regardless I am always grateful for whatever amount of Teddie the show is willing to provide us. 

Overall I give this episode four wings and a broken half wing out of five. A true season 11 highlight!

////

The Simpsons The Road to Cincinnati is one of those rare episodes that gets rid of that pesky Simpsons problem by kicking them out of their show. Instead of the titular nuclear family we get an entire episode based around a Griffin and Stewie styled road trip romp with Principal Skinner and Super Intendant Chalmers. Excuse me, Superintendent Geribaldi Chalmers. A fact I am sure will definitely make official Simpsons Wiki canon and be something referenced in future episodes *eye roll emoji*. 

This episode has some weird pent up old man aggression. Seeing as this is an episode written by Princeton and Harvard grad Jeff Westbrook that is definitely to expected. Apparently the dude really thinks pretty low of cyclists. So much so that the episode comes to a screeching halt when Jeff Westbrook has to pat his own back from coming up with a Biker Bar turning out to be a Cyclist Bar. Also, don’t get Westbrook started on what he thinks about Improv Shakespeare! 

Removing the Simpsons from the Simpsons is an ignoble experiment. I can see the temptation and Chalmers and Skinner are a duo that yields some of the shows more iconic and meme-worthy moments. Plopping them down into an entire episode focusing on them doesn’t prove disastrous, instead it lives up to the late Simpsons business model of underwhelming the hell out of you. 

The episode suffers from a case of “and then…and then… and then” plot structuring. A criticism I have picked up from Chuck Palahniuk’s road trip masterpiece to top all road trips, Invisible Monsters. Things have taken a turn for the worse when I am writing one of these reviews and am searching for anything else to write about. Nothing in this episode is flat out bad and it’s an interesting failed experiment. A rotten piece of Steamed Ham served with a signature smugness typical of an algorithm researcher. :P

Skip. 

[thecleverdame]

Control and Release - 7

Series Masterlist

TEDTalk!Sam x Reader

Summary: With the rest of the staff caught in a snowstorm, you find yourself acting as a personal assistant to the notorious Sam Winchester.

Warnings: Dom/Sub, humiliation, embarrassment, sexual objectification,  mutual masturbation, spanking, cum play, fingering, anal play, orgasm control, dub-con, nipple clamps,(more warnings as the story continues)  

Words: 3.2k

Beta: @ilikaicalie

Parts Eight and Nine are currently available on Patreon for a monthly pledge of $2.50. This includes early access to all my stories and Patreon exclusive content.  >> CLICK HERE <<

-

“You made it!” Max claps his hands together.

“Yeah,” you smile walking toward the table. Half the bar is filled with the staff from W & S.  

He’s clearing off a chair for you next to him, directly across from Pepper who looks like she’s already had a few.

“What is she doing here?” Pepper groans.

“Play nice, Pep. We’re all friends.” Max gives you a shit-eating grin, pulling the chair for you.

“The last thing I need is her running to the boss, tattling about how his assistant complains about him.” She looks from you to Max.

“I’m not a snitch.” You settle in as Max pours half his beer into an empty water glass and slides it front of you.

“We’ll see.” Pepper purses her lips, giving you a once over. “Sam has a way of turning people on each other. Everyone needs to survive in the end.”

“He can’t be that bad.” Max rolls his eyes.

“Ask Y/N,” Pepper scoffs, sitting back in her chair. “She’s in tears every time she leaves his office.”

You want to melt into the floor.

“I, um, he’s just-” you sputter, searching for the right words. “Sometimes he gets a little...intense.”

“That’s one word for it.” Pepper snorts, martini sloshing over the edges of the glass. “You know,” she points at you, “I have a theory about what he’s got you doing.”

“Oh yeah?” You’re just about done with tonight and you only just arrived. You thought this might be fun but instead it’s an exercise in hiding your reactions. Not to mention Max failed to mention your sworn nemesis would be here.

“Internal employee audit.” She nods. “He’s got you keeping track of something across departments. If I had to guess I’d say he’s looking for something. Maybe...a mole? A leak?”

“Are you spying on us?” Max laughs, placing a hand on your back.

“I’m not supposed to talk about it.” You look around for a waitress, you’re going to need a stronger drink.

“Give us something.” Max shakes the back of your chair.

“I don’t do many things well, but I can keep a secret with the best of them.”

“Hey Pepper,” Doug chimes in from the other side of Max. “Does Winchester ever talked about his brother?”

“His brother?” Your interest is peaked.

“You don’t know about Dean?” Pepper cocks her head. “Sam’s brother is on the FBI’s ten most wanted list.”

“For what?” You’re flabbergasted, you guessed there were some dark secrets in Sam’s past but you didn’t expect a fugitive to be one of them.

“Murder, kidnapping, robbery, you name it.” Pepper shrugs, fishing an olive out of the bottom of her glass. “Every once in a while an agent shows up at the office to ask him questions.”

“Here.” Max pulls out his phone, pulling up the information. “Dean Winchester, unlawful flight to avoid prosecution. Wanted on five counts of murder, one count of kidnapping...where’s the good stuff - here we go -  grave desecration, impersonating a federal officer, torture...the list goes on. The guy is a real piece of work.”

“Wow.” You take the phone from Max to look at a photo of a handsome guy in an orange jumpsuit. “That’s crazy. Sam’s been so successful and his brother is...this.”

“I guess their dad was some crazy, backwoods survivalist type. His mom died when he was a baby.” Pepper nods. “The story goes that Sam got as far away from his dad as he could. Got himself into Stanford. His senior year Dean showed up and killed Sam’s girlfriend. Burned the whole apartment building down with her inside.”

“Are you serious?” You’re horrified, looking from Pepper to Max. “His brother killed his girlfriend? Why?”

“I guess Dean wanted Sam to ditch school and go with him and their dad.  When Sam refused, Dean went off the deep end.”

“Holy shit,” you breathe, handing Max’s phone back to him.

“That’s why he’s so uptight about everything. The man is brilliant but he’s fucked in the head.” Pepper raises her hand to find a server. “I need another drink.”

--

“Really, I’m fine.” You stop in front of your apartment building. Max insisted on walking you home for safety but you get the distinct impression he expects to be invited up.

“There could be creeps out here.” He shrugs, looking at the steps of your building. “You tired? Up for a nightcap?”

“I don’t think so.” You shake your head. “It’s late and we’ve both been drinking.”

“What’s the worst that could happen?” He grins, all charm and white teeth. He’s handsome and cocky, and in another lifetime you’d take him upstairs and ride him until he popped like a champagne bottle.

“No hypotheticals.” You step back and he moves forward in tandem.

“Come on,” he grins, leaning closer. “We both know we’d have a lot of fun together.”

He goes to kiss you, but you stop him with two hands on his chest. “I told you I was seeing someone. And you told me we were out tonight as just friends.”

“Seriously?” He cocks an eyebrow. “I thought you were just trying to play hard to get. Why are you out with us on a Saturday night if you’ve got a guy?”

“None of your business.” You pat him on the shoulder. “I’m going upstairs and we’re both going to forget this ever happened.”

TUESDAY

“Good morning.” Sam greets you without looking up from his tablet.

“Yes, good morning.” Pepper sneers, looking up from her laptop long enough to give you the stink eye. “Boarding begins in five minutes. You’re cutting it close.”

“I got stopped by TSA,” you explain and Sam smiles without looking up. “Random check, I had to have the hand swab and they searched my bags.”

“Early is on time.” Sam looks up at you, giving you a once over.

“And on time is late.” You parrot back. “I’m sorry Mr. Winchester, it won’t happen again.”

“Better not.” He confirms.

W & S owns two planes, both of which are in use. Sam’s not one to shake up a finely tuned system. While he could simply bump the legal team, he won’t. Schedules were solidified and this is a last minute trip, so today he’s flying Delta with all the other lowly non-millionaires.  

The first class section is separated into pods. There are a few singles and the rest are in pairs, with ample leg room and enough space to fully recline the seat if one wants to sleep.

You’re struggling to get your ticket out of your purse to check your seat number when Sam grabs your arm, thumb and forefinger pinching just above the elbow. “You’re here. The window seat.”

“Um,” You look around as if he’s the one who’s confused. “I’m in first class?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.” He rolls his eyes, already impatient. “Sit down.”

You take your seat, sinking into a pod large enough to hold two of you. This is how the other half lives.

“I’m up here...with you.” You state the obvious, watching as the few other people in the section find their seats.

“Yes, you are. God, I hate flying commercial.” He shudders, retrieving his computer from his briefcase. “Would you have preferred to sit in back with Pepper?”

“No, but...doesn’t it look strange that I’m up here?”

“Things look however you want them to look,” he snips, putting up a finger to call over a flight attendant. “Next time I’ll make sure you’re back in the cargo hold if that would make you more comfortable.”

“What can I get you, Mr. Winchester?” the stewardess asks, smiling sweetly.

“Two blankets, two waters,” Sam orders, turning to you as she walks away. “Stop fidgeting.”

“Sorry.” Sitting back you force your legs to stop bouncing. “I’m not the best flyer. I get nervous.”

“Lucky for you I have a few tasks to take your mind off things.” A small smile appears for a fleeting moment. “Just try to relax.”

The plane boards and the minutes tick by. While you’ve flown plenty of times it never gets any easier. And today is worse. Sam makes your senses heightened. Normally it’s just sex, but today it’s also fear that’s swimming in your belly, churning like a swell rolling toward shore.

The attendant brings Sam two thin blankets which he passes off to you.

“Thanks.” you whisper, unsure. “You think I’m going to be cold?”

“I think,” he leans in your direction, close enough that no one else will be able to hear, “that you’re going to have that skirt up around your hips and your hands between your legs for most of the flight. So unless you want the flight crew to see your pussy, you’ll want the blankets to cover up.”

“Oh.” You look towards the crew who have been stealing glances at Sam since you boarded. “But...they’re watching us.”

“This is a perfect opportunity for you to learn the true meaning of discretion.” He buckles his seat belt, wordlessly reaching over and doing the same for you. He grabs one side, then the other, sliding the clip into the buckle, tightening it around your stomach as if you were a toddler. “Now cover yourself and pull up your skirt. We’re about to take off.”

He logs onto his computer, checking his email one final time.

Carefully unfolding both blankets, you lay them over your lap, before subtly hiking your skirt up until your bare ass is directly on the seat, then fold your hands together in your lap as the plane picks up speed on the runway.

“Fuck,” you whisper, closing your eyes at the sensation of the front wheel leaving the ground.

“I think nervous flyer is an understatement.” Sam observes.

“I’m not normally this much of a baby. I was on a bad flight once,” you whisper eyes closed tight. “I was a teenager and I was flying alone. The turbulence was so bad people were crying, we all thought we were going to die.”

“Well, you’re not going to die today.” One of his big hands curls over both of yours where they’re clutched tightly in your lap.  You’re so startled by the compassionate touch that you flinch and he squeezes harder.

Slowly, the plane gains altitude and he releases your hands. Looking around carefully to make sure no one is paying attention he leans over, voice low as he murmurs into your ear.

“I want you to rub your clit for the next five minutes. Nice and slow, nothing too fast. Tell me when you’re wet.” And with that instruction, he sits back in his seat. A thrill shoots up your spine at the challenge of complying with the request.

You look around, checking to make sure no one is paying attention and snake your hand under the blankets, sliding over your pussy. It doesn’t take much movement to do as he asks, just the pad of your finger moving back and forth over your clit, slow and even. Sam pulls out his phone, starting a timer for five minutes and you think you might die of embarrassment.

It’s truly an exercise in restraint. Your jaw is locked in place, trying your best to maintain a neutral expression as your own touch begins to stir excitement between your legs. A familiar tingle blossoms from your cunt up to your belly.

It doesn’t take long, there are still two minutes on the timer when you swallow hard and lean toward Sam and whisper, “I’m wet.”

“Already?” He tilts his head to the side to look at you, pulling his glasses off. He smirks, eyes dropping down to where your hand is moving imperceptibly under the blanket. “Two more minutes, keep going.”

Instead of watching the seconds tick by you close your eyes and concentrate on keeping your face from giving away your dirty little secret. You think about Sam, how badly you want his hands on you and what new experiences will happen over the next three days. You’re here for two nights and you wonder if he’ll want you to spend all your time with him, or if he’ll send you away as soon as he’s had his fill, like the first night you touched yourself for him on his hotel bed.

“Times up.” He announces. And you take a breath, yanking your hand away. You’re pretty good at knowing how to touch yourself. He’s given you ample practice, all those mornings and nights of denial, getting yourself right to the edge are paying off. You just hope he’s not expecting you to cum, not here.

“Can I have some water, please?” You clear your throat, gesturing at the two bottles tucked into the pocket in front of him.

“Of course.” He opens the bottle, holding the cap and hands it to you. “You have ten minutes, then we go again.”

You sit stoically next to Sam as he reviews documents, unphased by the fact that you’re right there, next to him, shifting in your seat. Time ticks by and he leans over again, looking away from the screen as an afterthought.

“Five minutes, touch yourself the entire time, don’t cum.”

“I will.” You look at him, his stare sending little zaps of anticipation to every inch of you.

This time he watches you, glancing up every so often to ensure privacy. From your seat no one other than Sam can see below your neck but controlling your facial expressions is proving the hardest part of all. As your finger brushes over your clit again and again. You lock your jaw, it’s the only way to keep your mouth from falling open. At one point your eyes flutter shut, but he doesn’t like that.

“Look at me.” He commands, voice low and confident as you turn your head to look him in the eye. “We’re just two people having a conversation. No one knows otherwise.” He glances down to where your hand is moving gently under the blanket. “When’s the last time you came?”

“When I was last with you,” you confirm in a breathless whisper, pleasure steadily building.

“Did you touch yourself after that?”

“Yes, twice.”

“But you didn’t cum?” He smiles, shifting in his seat to give you his full attention. “I don’t remember giving you any homework.”

“It was so good last time.” You take a deliberate breath, pausing to control your throbbing pussy before you continue. “Making myself wait for you made it so intense when I finally came.”

“I’m glad to hear it was so good for you.” His mouth barely moves as he speaks, pressing his hand over the crotch of his pants to adjust himself. “From now on you don’t cum unless I give you explicit permission. You’re to ask every time. That wet little pussy is mine and so are your orgasms. Am I clear?”

“Yes,” you hiss, fingers slowing. Rubbing yourself is hard enough, but listening to him talk like this is almost enough to make you cum all on it’s own. “I need to stop.”

“You still have a minute left. You better not stop.” He chastises, frowning as if you’re a petulant child in time out. “Just slow down and control yourself. Deep breaths.”

“I’m gonna cum,” you rasp, staring at him as a tear slides down your cheek. Your hand is shaking, middle finger pressing against your aching bud. “Please, I can’t-”

“Don’t you dare.” Sam looks at his watch. “Just a little bit longer. You won’t like what happens if you disobey me right now.”

“I’m trying so hard, but I can’t-”

“Times up.” He taps your knee and you instantly pull your hand out from the under the blanket. You’re one firm touch away from falling over the edge, your pussy is slick, dripping with arousal and you can feel it on the seat under you.

“Everything alright over here?” There’s suddenly an attendant standing next to Sam, looking at you with concern.

“Nervous flyer.” Sam explains, patting the back of your hand. “Panic attacks.”

“I’m fine,” you offer, voice shaking as you wipe sweat away from your forehead. “It’s just nerves.”

“Please let me know if you need anything.” She nods, giving you one last look before walking away.

“You’re attracting attention.” Sam chuckles, as your cheeks burn bright red.

“I was trying to be discreet,” you puff, sitting back in the seat.

“Trying and failing.” He points out the obvious. “But by the time I’m done with you, you’ll be surprised what you’re capable of suppressing.”

There’s no response for that. It’s terrifying to hear that for him this is just the tip of the iceberg. But it’s also exciting, everything about this arrangement is exciting. The fact that he has you edging yourself on a plane, surrounded by people and manages to remain so casual about the whole thing makes you want him even more.

There are three more sessions. Each farther apart than the last as he gives you ample time to calm down. By the time you’re finished with the last session the world is blurry, your entire body sweating and quaking as you use every last ounce of self-control to hold back an orgasm.

It’s just as the pilot announces that you’ve been cleared for landing that Sam closes his computer and starts to roll up his sleeve as if he’s about to go to work. The flight attendants strap themselves into their own seat and Sam tilts his head toward you.

“Spread your legs.” He murmurs, turning to watch your face as you comply. He snakes the hand closest to you under the blankets, wedging his knuckles between sticky thighs. His eyebrows shoot up when he feels how wet you are.

The plane begins to shake as you hit a turbulent patch and at the same time his finger slides over your swollen clit. You almost shout out, instead slamming your eyes shut and gripping the armrests.

“You love this don’t you? Being on display for me, everyone else just going about their lives ignorant to what’s going on between your legs.” The heel of his hand presses over your clit as he scoops down, sliding two fingers into your throbbing cunt. You whimper, sinking teeth into your bottom lip.

His fingers slide out and up, stroking your clit before burying back inside. He does it again and again, finding a rhythm, stroking your bud and teasing your hole open until you’re a mess, squirming uncontrollably.

“You’re gonna make me cum.” You wheeze, trying to squeeze your legs together.

“You better not.” He warns, hand slowing to make slow, painful circles around your clit.

“I’m trying but it’s too much.”

“Then we better stop.” He quips, pulling his hand away, leaving you gulping for air as the plane’s wheels touch down on the tarmac. “You did well.”

“Thank you,” you whisper, smoothing your hair back, ignoring the constant throb between your legs.

You put yourself back together, unlocking your seatbelt and pulling your skirt back into place. Right on cue, Sam hands you a napkin that you use to wipe off the seat under you, blushing as he watches you clean up the mess you’ve made.

In stark contrast to your usual roles, Sam stands up grabbing his own carry on bag, then takes yours, throwing the strap over his shoulder.

“You good?” He looks down, offering a hand to pull you up.

“Yes, thank you.” You nod, following him down the aisle.

The stewardess offers you a little pout, gently touching your shoulder as you pass by and a moment later you step off the plane into the San Francisco airport.

-

Parts Eight and Nine are currently available on Patreon for a monthly pledge of $2.50. This includes early access to all my stories and Patreon exclusive content.  >> CLICK HERE <<

-

Tags:  @smallgirlbigpersonality @mereka18 @gryffindorable713 @trainlikeawinchester @winchesterprincessbride @bamby0304 @notyourtypicalrose @mariekoukie6661 @little-big-mac2 @emoryhemsworth @mystriee @atc74 @holyfuckloueh @bunnybaby121115 @mogaruke @darkmystress00 @jaspesangriento @kazuha159 @mirandaaustin93 @crispychrissy @schilj79 @wilde-abandon @hennessy0274-blog @bojabee @miss-samantha-winchester @impalaimagining @andkatiethings @astephez @ladycynthia @mrswhozeewhatsis @lenawiinchester @feelmyroarrrr @mrs-meghan-winchester @har-rystyles @mistressofallthingsgeeky @theamuz @maui137 @stars-and-seas @vale0413 @impala67trenchcoat @curly-haired-disaster @ericaprice2008 @livelikeawinchester @althehufflepuff @itsthesamegametoday @bohowitch @spnwoman @just-a-normal-eccentric @gallifreyansass @StoneyGGirl @lonely-skys @81mysteriouslyme @missrandomista @soupornatural @stars-and-seas @natura1phenomenon @jarpadandjensenaremyheroes @81mysteriouslyme @likhelbentin @mrooks0205 @zombiewerewolfqueen @winchesterprincessbride @squirrel-moose-winchester @fortisetgloriosusinarduis @closetspngirl @dominodoll @rainflowermoonlibrary @cleighwrites @camelotandastronauts

[pettyrevenge-base]

Enjoy your 8 hour layover after trying to steal my charger

I was traveling for work and had a 3 hour layover in Phoenix, AZ. It's not a super busy day at the airport so I'm sitting at the gate browsing my phone, playing Smash Bros on my Switch, and just generally relaxing.

There's a lady in her mid-30s sitting a few seats over browsing her phone. I guess her phone was about to die and she starts going through her bags looking for her phone charger. She starts to get visibly agitated and she's huffing and sighing to herself. I hear her mumble "Ugh, I forgot my charger!" I assume she's on the next flight at this gate which still has an hour before departure.

I had an extra portable USB charger and my phone is fully charged, so I ask "Will this cord work on your phone? I have a battery pack you can borrow." Everything works and her phone is charging, she is super grateful. "Omg thank you! I've never seen these before, where did you get it? This is super useful!" I explain how the battery packs work and tell her they're pretty cheap, about $10 at any big box store. She's very happy and seems nice, or so I thought.

About 30 minutes later, the gate attendants start getting everything ready for boarding. Lady sees this and says "I better use the restroom before boarding. Do you mind watching my bags?" Sure, no problem.

When she comes back, she starts gathering her things and she puts her phone, along with my battery pack and cord in her purse.

Me: "Umm, ma'am? My charger"

Lady: "What?"

Me: "Can I have my charger and cord back?"

Lady: "What do you mean? This is my charger."

Me: "No... I let you borrow those and I need them back."

Lady: "You're crazy."

She's in the first boarding group and she gets up to go to the gate. I had contemplated just dropping it and letting her keep everything since it was only $12 total, but the more I thought about it the angrier I got. Since she was in boarding group 1 she's probably in 1st class and she couldn't buy her own charger?

She's 4 people from the front now and I approach her.

Me: "I really need my property back now."

Lady: "I still don't know what you're talking about!"

Gate attendant hears us: "Is there something wrong here?"

Me: "I let this woman borrow a battery pack and charger and she's trying to steal it."

Gate Attendant to Lady: "Is this true?"

Lady: "Absolutely not! I brought this from home!"

Me: "Can you check your security cameras? That'll prove it belongs to me."

Gate Attendant: "That'll require TSA gets involved."

I still have a few hours to kill, so I figure why not. Let's make this fun.

Me: "Great, thank you."

Lady: "What?! I don't have time for this!"

Gate Attendant: "Well, if you really do have his charger and return it, we won't have to call security."

Lady: "THE CHARGER IS MINE!!"

The gate attendant sighs and picks up the phone to call security to the gate. Lady is of course extremely mad but is standing her ground. A little bit later a TSA agent arrives and pulls us aside to figure out what's going on.

Me: "About 45 minutes to an hour ago I loaned this woman my phone charger and battery pack to charge her phone. She is now trying to steal my property. You can check the cameras."

TSA Agent: "Is this the case, miss?"

Lady: "Lies! This is my charger!"

TSA Agent: "Ok, well we'll get to the bottom of this."

He turns his back to us and says something into his radio. I can't quite make out everything but I hear "Gate 23, 45  to 60 minutes ago" and he goes on to describe us. A few minutes go by and the lady is just watching everyone board. They're now on boarding group 4 and the gate is almost empty.

The TSA agent gets a response on his radio and I hear "Code 246" or something like that. The agent turns back to us."

TSA Agent: "Sir, please wait right here. Ma'am, please come with me and bring your bags."

They walk up to the gate counter where I see the TSA Agent put on a pair of gloves and puts her purse up on the counter. He pulls out my battery and cord. Meanwhile, a second TSA agent has pulled up to the gate in a flatbed cart. I hear the lady yell "THIS IS RIDICULOUS!" The first TSA agent escorts the lady over to the cart, while the second agent is loading her luggage onto the back. The second agent and the lady drive off, with her just glaring at me. The first agent brings me my battery charger and says "Sorry about that, enjoy your flight."

Me: "Oh, my flight still has a little while. If you don't mind me asking, what was that about?" pointing down the concourse to where the lady went.

TSA Agent: "She left her bags unattended and she has to go through a secondary security screening."

The agent went up to the gate attendant, perhaps to tell her I'm not on this flight, and the attendant makes the announcement for final boarding. I watch as the plane departs without the woman.

A little bit later I go to grab a drink to calm my nerves and I stop to check the Departing board to make sure my flight is still on time. I happened to notice the next flight heading to the woman's original destination didn't leave for another 8 hours.

tl;dr: Woman tries to steal my phone charger at an airport, has to go through secondary security check causing her to miss her flight and her next flight doesn't leave for another 8 hours.

Source: reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge

[owlbearwithme]

🐩 Tsagani!!!

Lorraine Broughtonfrom Atomic Blonde is what got all the gears in my head turning, and you can probably see why

Color scheme and all

I also just really liked the idea of Scooter’s counterpart/foil/romantic interest being so starkly removed from her fiance’s originally pretty stereotypical gnoll stylings? Scooter’s her own aesthetic now but at the start I kinda went with the whole “patchwork bones and stolen things and fantasy trashpunk” direction.

But Tsagani is refined to the point of everyone joking that she’s got to be a fuckin. “fake canadian girlfriend I promise she’s real and loves me” sorta thing.

Its layers and layers of Tsa removing herself from what she is (on the surface) and presenting this nebulous, charming face and not giving any details about who tf she Actually Is like Lorraine.

Bc Lorraine ends up not even being British at the end of the film, she’s an American agent infiltrating MI6

And I will point out that Tsagani has given very bare bones or Absolutely No Information At All about her life before she was an artificer and fully operational as a spy. Scooter knows stuff but she aint saying Shit.

She aint a traitor tho shes just got Secrets

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E19 (May 22, 2018)

Tonight’s guests are Travis Willingham and Matt Mercer (both in human and pillow form)!

Pre-show is blessed by a Tess Fowler original!

Announcements: Critrole.com is the new website, there’s a new partnership with Stack-Up and some fun merchandise associated with that (see website for details!), hardcover comic will be on sale on May 31 (see website for details!), the Stream of Many Eyes will be featuring most of the cast starting on June 1 (see... website for details? okay, no, it’s on the WotC website), Travis wants to be a red panda in the next Honey Heist (I... don’t think that’s on the website), there’s now a Talks Machina Instagram account that will feature behind-the-scenes stuff (you know where to go).

@critrolestats for this episode: last time two player characters fought each other in the main campaign was episode 99 (feat. Jon Heder’s character), the Mighty Nein has collectively earned over 6,250 gold since the campaign started, and the party has given Pumat Sol 5,030 gold since they met him, a substantial amount of which went toward Caleb’s paper and ink.

Matt’s Jester voice gets brought up again, and Brian points out that he’ll probably have to cover for Laura for a bit going forward. Matt: “That’s if Jester survives...” 

Travis: “We’re just going to have the baby and put it on the table and that’s going to be our new mini.”

If Fjord had lost the gamble with the Gentleman, he would’ve taken the money but mostly just would’ve been appreciative that he was brazen enough to make the gamble. It was a test to see how the party adjusted, how they held their own. Matt: “Everything with him is very much a power dynamic game and trying to read whoever he’s talking with. That’s how he got where he is today.”

Fjord’s been very cautious when it comes to asking questions about the things he needs to know about his backstory, and that might change going forward. Travis is very aware that as soon as he figures something out, Matt will throw him a curveball. Matt points out that every story will have a different pace of unveiling, based in part just on pure geography and where the party happens to be at any given time. He mentions that Fjord’s backstory is a little more complicated than some of the others. Travis is delighted to actually not know some big parts of Fjord’s backstory (including the identity of his warlock patron), and Matt talks about what a gift those backstory gaps are to a DM, because it establishes both investment and the opportunity to surprise the player.

The fight scene in the Leaky Tap was mainly just meant to be flavor and establishing that locales are dynamic and evolving, a little different each time you walk in. Travis: “Taco Tuesday.” Brian: “Sacrifice Saturday.”

Gif of the Week: steeple vs. staple is an important distinction.

Matt had four or five different possible story hooks prepared for the party based on where they decided to go. Brian points out that Matt generally has his contingencies covered; Matt explains that a lot of it isn’t very detailed but lends itself well to getting fleshed out later. He also talks about the balance between leading the narrative (to keep players from being overwhelmed) and providing the open-world feeling.

Fjord is “a little bit... kind of... somewhat” relieved not to be going back to the Menagerie Coast. There’s some unfinished business he’s not sure how to confront yet. Matt: “Expertly danced around.”

Matt didn’t intend for Fjord to take the “devour” thing literally. Travis makes a lot of faces about that. Matt points out that it made for a very cool visual. Brian: “Yeah, deep-fjoat.” Travis is a little concerned the next weapon may be a mace.

Travis was disappointed not to get to find out what was going on with the orc, but he was determined not to metagame it. He’s hoping Molly and Yasha bring it up again.

Liam and Sam put together a whole list of cons Nott and Caleb have at their disposal; they haven’t even showed the list to Matt.

On the goblins, Matt mentions: “There are reasons why they were there. None that came to light or were investigated fully.” A history check may have discerned where those goblins came from.

Fanart of the Week: Yasha’s necrotic shroud.

Travis’s big reaction over Nott’s backstory was when he started to realize what she was looking for from Caleb. From Fjord’s perspective, he has a massive sense of empathy and compassion for Nott after that reveal; there was a lot in what she was saying that Fjord recognized. He’s looking forward to talking to her about it later.

After building so much, Matt loves the backstory reveals because they really exemplify the players’ chance to make it a true collaboration and do some creative building of their own.

Matt was not expecting Yasha to tell Trent she was from Xhorhas. “Oh, you just made yourself real interesting.”

Travis went back and watched Caleb’s backstory scene at Liam’s urging (they enjoyed the scene as it played out, but when it unexpectedly got as intense as it did, Liam wished the rest of them had been there to enjoy the reveal; it also avoids having to repeat all the information verbatim in the future). It worked in the spirit of experimentation, but in the future they’re probably going to limit it to shorter scenes at the DM’s discretion.

Matt: “I feel that anything is capable of deep evil, and anything is capable of deep good.” Brian: “So for you, evil isn’t a permanent characteristic in that regard.” Matt: “Yeah.”

Travis: “I didn’t think there was any hell deeper or hotter than shopping... and then I went to the library with Caleb.” Brian: “If you cut out everything in the episode that bored Travis, there wouldn’t be much left.” Matt: “Oh, I’m never catering to this motherfucker.” He points out that they’re still finding the balance there as well; he hasn’t had a character in a long time that’s actively trying to research everything in the world around him, but they’re looking for solutions to prevent in-game info dumps.

Talks Machina: All The Stars Of Critical Role Are Out Tonight

Travis got asked “would you like to rage with that?” by a Starbucks barista. He’s embarrassed that he had “non-cool groceries” with him at the time. A debate ensues about what exactly would constitute cool groceries.

Matt talks about going through the TSA checkpoint and one of the agents telling Sam “Right this way, Mr. Shorthalt.” Taliesin had a metal pepperbox gift from a fan in his bag that he forgot to check, and the TSA guy said, “It would be Percy, wouldn’t it?”

On pricing magical items, Matt uses his judgment about the item’s relative usefulness to somewhat arbitrarily pick a value within the suggested price ranges for that rarity in the DMG.

Matt has had extremely vivid dreams of himself wandering around Exandria on several occasions, and always feels warm and fuzzy afterwards. One dream about the Age of Arcanum heavily influenced his designs.

In a melee fight, Fjord would be most interested in fighting either Caleb (as the only one he’d be likely to beat) or Yasha (to get his ass kicked).

Favorite bad decision snack? Travis is all about shaved ice and Oreos dipped in peanut butter. Brian’s weakness is Cheeto Puffs and animal crackers dipped in cake frosting.

Travis does the Jester voice with the little Jester doll, and Matt pounces on it as the solution for Laura’s upcoming absence.

Matt won’t comment on what the jerky was actually made of. Dani: “Maybe they’ve also tasted baby.”

Brian tells a story about beef jerky. Matt: “Brian... you may be my favorite supervillain.”

[weaselle]

Story Time

Not too long ago, I posted a brief explanation of my siblings ( http://weasowl.tumblr.com/post/177478767230/springdday-ommanyte-does-anyone-genuinely ) I ended that with “Also, my origins are steeped in mystery and my siblings are actually my cousins by blood, but that’s another story.” I wrote out the long story about my mysterious origins and details about my life and experiences, and a computer mishap erased it as though it had never been. Again. I don’t know if it’s something in me or something in the world at this point, but I guess I’m not ready/supposed to tell y’all that much about me. So I’m going to tell you about my Grandmother and her children instead. No pictures or anything this time.

My Grandmother was left-handed and the reason I love cooking and definitely some kind of Being. Her title was The Grandma. She had 4 great grandchildren by the time she died, and so her daughters became Grandma, but she was THE Grandma. She had this way about her, like she was incredibly present, but also paying attention to everything in the whole world. And then sometimes (notably when you fucked up) it was like she pulled her attention off all those things and put the whole thing on you; it was very unsettling. And she had the Voice, which she almost never used. The last time Grandma traveled on an airplane with us, we were going though security and she couldn’t go through the metal detectors because by then she couldn’t get out of the wheelchair for longer than twenty seconds at a time. The TSA agent said she was going to search her or pat her down instead, and reached for my Grandmother. And Grandmother said, in the Voice  “Don’t touch The Grandma” The TSA agent blinked and looked at grandma’s eldest daughter (a celtic witch if ever there was one) who merely shrugged and said “...don’t touch the grandma”. TSAgent hesitated as if about to reach forward and insist, thought better of it, called TSA Supervisor over. TSA Supervisor explained everything to The Grandma - it’s just a quick pat-down, everybody who can’t go through the detectors has it done, they won’t even ask her to stand - and then reached forward to pat down my grandmother “Don’t. Touch. The Grandma” TSA Supervisor’s hands stopped as if hitting glass. She looked confusedly back and forth between the TSA agent and my grandmother for a second, and then the confusion left her face and she stepped aside, looked at the TSA agent and said “Don’t touch the Grandma” and waived us through security. They didn’t even scan the rest of us It’s a shame she couldn’t fly anymore after that, she loved to fly; when K’s son died, she married P, a WW2 B52 crewman who taught her to pilot small planes, and they would fly up and down the coast to any cities they wanted to visit - she knew the West Coast in a way few people do. (note, one of the only things I know about my paternal grandfather, the man who married the Japanese grandmother I’ve never met, is that he was a German soldier...that man’s son joined the US air force, and became my biological father) One morning in the deserts of Nevada a year after P’s death she woke me up and said “get dressed, were going to into town to the casino; P visited me in a dream last night and told me I’d win a video poker jackpot with a royal flush today” and we drove into town so she could spend fifteen minutes playing video poker. I say fifteen minutes, because after fifteen minutes she hit her jackpot with a royal flush in hearts, and we went back home. She used to sit in her chair in her living room with her back to the kitchen wall, and I’d go to leave the kitchen and I’d hear her from the other room “don’t you leave my kitchen mat like that” and I’d look over my shoulder at the mat in front of the sink, and sure enough, it would be all rumpled up; sorry grandma.  Grandma and I shared a birthmark, a red stain I won’t describe fully. And my grandmother and I were both adopted. Let me explain. My Grandmother was adopted by a nice family. And then that family all died, and she was adopted AGAIN. She married an Irish American, a man whose father I am named after: K, who came here from Ireland to work the Alaskan gold rush. She and her husband lived with K a while, and this is a story about that: Every Sunday. great grandpa K would go off on his own for a couple hours to “walk in the woods”. Grandma followed him one day. K walked into the woods, packed a pipe, sat down with his back to a tree, and took a small handful of nuts and seeds and fruits and leaves out of his shirt pocket. He scattered them around. Soon, as if expecting him, several animals came and helped themselves. The squirrels climbed all over him, on his head even. The raccoons sat in his lap. The birds sat on his knees and shoulders and in his beard and peered into his face. The deer checked his jacket for more snacks. After they hung out for about an hour, they all went on their way. Then K smoked his pipe and went home. Grandma and K’s son had 5 kids. One died as a child. The eldest became an ER nurse and a savant witch. She would never admit she is a witch, but there’s a horseshoe over her door (not the front door, mind you, but the door she actually uses) and she’s the one who taught me to always leave a single spider in your house when you clean. She has a natural way with plants and animals -  the deer eat everything but her herb garden, which isn’t even fenced. This year one of them stayed in her backyard for nearly two months raising twins to be big enough to take back to the herd. She recognizes individual squirrels and birds and knows their personalities and habits and things about their families. And of course as an ER and ICU nurse, she’s a hell of a healer.  The youngest was a witch, but sadly neglected, remained immature. Still, she had talents. She could fool people and make them laugh as easy as breathing, like some kind of glamour. Every long line of strangers she ever waited in became a party among friends. Could literally smell if you were lying to her. As in, she’d lean close and take a couple deep sniffs and then be like “Nope. Tell me, where did you really go after school?”  The only brother became a wandering holy man of sorts. Used to hitch-hike around the country in robes stuff with a small, like, cult; then quit them to just grow his own holy experience. He died in his 30s. And the middle sister was my mother. She was double jointed and very dyslexic, and everyone says she was incredibly gifted in many ways. She did intricate artwork in ink, fractal gardens and faux woodgrain that was made of salvador dali faces, stuff like that. She was self taught on the piano, used to just walk up to a piano and play songs she made up on the spot that sounded how she was feeling and little crowds would gather. Made her own exercise equipment. Could pick up an accent within minutes and become semi-conversational in days. When I was two and she was too poor to feed me she taught me how to go around a restaurant to each table and ask super cute if I could try a bite of their food. She had me with a half Japanese guy in the Air Force (he didn’t stick around). Then when I was about three, she sent me to live with her eldest sister, because her life got too, ah, interesting. Like, her partner had a hit put out on them. It wasn’t safe for me. By the time I was six it all caught up with her, and she died in an accident when she jumped out of the passenger side of a car and tried to run away as it stopped at an intersection.  That’s when her eldest sister adopted me. So here I am, same birthmark as my psychic grandmother, orphaned son of a savant creative criminal and a Japanese-American soldier, named after my Irish, gold hoarding, bearded, pipe-smoking beastmaster great-grandsire; raised by a celtic witch, and filled with a burning desire to be instrumental in creating a new and more humane age of humanity, where everybody has more power to live whatever kind of life they want while reenforcing core values of earth-garden stewardship and educated love/care for all. When I reached adulthood, I nearly stopped aging physically (I’m 40, people typically guess between 25 and 30). I’m really good with animals, and I have a unique relationship with Lady Luck. I have all the witch tools, but they’re just what I use in my life - like, I have one nice specially chosen chef’s knife. It’s the knife I use for everything, To me, THAT’s an athame, not some dragon themed chrome thing you put on a shelf and take down to wave around on “holidays”. If it’s really a holiday, and my athame is really a knife, then it’s being used to fillet or dice something for a holiday meal. It is special because I use it to make every meal I cook, and I’d truly feel lost without it. That’s just my personal brand of witching, mind, you do you. I get these weird moods that fill me durring which I can charm almost anyone to help me in almost any way I want, which is actually sort of frightening, but not while it’s happening.  So, clearly, I’m either some kind of changeling and the chosen one, or I should seek professional help

[dclreturn]

Day 0 - Traveling to Orlando

Friday, October 15, 2021 - Transport to Orlando

We left Kara’s house as the contractors were still hard at work installing new cabinets as part of her “kitchen gut project”. Due to so many of the unknowns of COVID, Disney Cruise Line, and the recent weather & air traffic control issues for Florida flights, we considered some alternatives like flying a night early or just an earlier flight, but the latter had our layover even further away from FL. Kara had gotten to the point of just wanting to drive (16 hrs!), which was my “break glass in case of emergency” option.

Thanks to our Atkinson friends, we had insights that helped us feel a bit more confident in our set flight plan. With all of these stressors and more, we had upgraded to first-class on American due to my credits. This was a very good thing, as the check-in lines were long since curbside check-in isn’t currently available.

Inexplicably we had to confirm we were actually flying First by the agent. (What? We were dressed just fine, so no idea what that was about.) TSA was as good as we could expect; Pre-Check was still a slightly shorter line.

Our first flight (1:02pm) to Philly was smooth and First was only about half full; there weren’t any people in the seats in front of or behind us! Wow. Everything was right on time, so our potential curse from the prior business class flight through Philly for a Disney Cruise seems to have gratefully just been a fluke! Phew!

We had just enough time to get to the next terminal, visit the restroom, and grab some snacks before boarding to Orlando. There was a plane change, but otherwise smooth & on-time flying to Orlando. (Slight note: Kara’s First seat was marked out of order for reclining and the 2nd flight had a lavatory out of order, so we don’t know what American was doing during all of these COVID slow-downs, but it doesn’t seem to have been maintenance….)

At Orlando our bags dropped quick since they were marked Priority. We called the hotel shuttle and after a moderate wait we’re headed to the hotel. We figured out the driver had a pick-up at the other terminal. I haven’t seen traffic that crazy at MCO in a LONG time. It was 8pm by the time we got to the hotel (a new TownePlace Suites by Marriott Orlando Airport) - and I still needed to shower and we hadn’t yet had dinner.

Kara quickly ordered Chick-fil-A via DoorDash and we were fully lights-out between 10:30-11pm

Next Up: Will we fail our test?!

Disclaimer: I (Gayle) am a travel agent with Authorized Disney Travel Planner agency - Off to Neverland Travel. Contact me today for a no-obligation quote!

[olko71]

New Post has been published on All about business online

New Post has been published on http://yaroreviews.info/2021/06/air-travel-returned-so-did-long-lines-at-security-restaurants-shops

Air Travel Returned. So Did Long Lines at Security, Restaurants, Shops

Air travel has come roaring back. Not everyone was ready.

Customers are facing hourslong phone waits for assistance. Long lines have emerged as airlines, airports and the Transportation Security Administration scramble to hire staff and accommodate the influx of passengers.

Airline and airport executives say they anticipated that vaccines and easing restrictions would stoke renewed appetite for travel, but the speed and magnitude of the resurgence has exceeded their expectations. Even without the return of most business and international travel, the number of people passing through U.S. airports has surpassed two million on some days, a threshold last reached in March 2020. July 4—typically the peak of the summer travel season—is looming.

U.S. carriers are scheduled to fly more than 88 million seats in July, a 32% increase from April. That is still well short of 2019, but airlines are adding capacity much more quickly than they have in the past. Over the same four-month period in 2019, airlines increased the number of seats in the market by just 9% to meet summer demand, according to Cirium, an aviation-data provider.

Demand has quickly absorbed the extra seats. Planes are 83% full on average, and even more packed during heavily busy periods. Last year airlines offered steep discounts and deals. Now airfare is on the rise. The Labor Department reported last week that its airfare index rose 7% in May after gaining 10.2% in April. Carriers say leisure fares are on track to meet or exceed 2019 levels this summer.

The rapid increase has caused some growing pains.

U.S. airlines got $54 billion in government aid so they could keep paying their workers and avoid furloughs and layoffs that would make it more difficult for them to respond to rising demand when the time came. But carriers also encouraged many workers to retire early or take extended leaves of absence to stretch the aid as they faced a dire outlook last year.

A Transportation Security Administration agent guided travelers at a checkpoint in the Detroit Metropolitan Wayne County Airport on Saturday.

Photo: Matthew Hatcher/Bloomberg News

When travel started to return this spring, American Airlines Group Inc. says it was inundated with calls from confused travelers planning to fly for the first time in a year or more. Many needed extra help to navigate new rules or cash in travel credits from canceled trips, so calls have been more complex and time-consuming, said Julie Rath, American’s vice president of customer experience and reservations. Disruptions like bad weather have sometimes exacerbated the problem, and some customers say they have waited hours.

About a quarter of the reservations staff at American Airlines Group Inc. had opted to retire or took unpaid time off last year, Ms. Rath said. American called back staff who had been on leave and started asking recent retirees if they would be interested in returning for summer.

“We knew it would come back and come back quickly,” Ms. Rath said. “But it’s even quicker than we expected.”

“ ‘We’re at a crisis point.’ ”

— Prospect Airport Services Chief Operating Officer James Wajda

Delta Air Lines Inc. is hiring 1,300 permanent staffers to take customer calls to help replace workers who left last year, in addition to seeking temporary summer help and upgrading technology so customers can do more on their own, a spokesman said. Other airlines including Alaska Air Group are warning customers about long waits to have calls answered. Hawaiian Airlines said it is increasing staff at its call center.

Airlines and airports have advised passengers to arrive early at some understaffed airports to avoid long lines at security checkpoints. TSA screeners are working overtime and the agency is deploying them to airports around the country with the greatest need, a spokesman said. It has hired close to 3,600 new screening officers and now expects to reach its target of 6,000 new screeners by fall.

Workers like wheelchair pushers and baggage handlers are in short supply. Prospect Airport Services, which provides such workers at 34 airports, said the company has raised wages $2 an hour in some cities and offered bonuses of up to $1,000 for those who stay 90 days, said James Wajda, chief operating officer. But requests for wheelchairs are rising faster than the company can hire. He has gone out to push wheelchairs himself.

“We’re at a crisis point,” he said.

Miami International Airport was heavy with travelers May 28.

Photo: Wilfredo Lee/Associated Press

Restaurants and shops that operate in airports haven’t been able to hire quickly enough to fully reopen.

Workers at Starbucks locations at Phoenix Sky Harbor International Airport say staffing hasn’t kept up with growing passenger volumes, leading to a relentless pace of work and long lines.

“During the rush it’s just a nonstop line with anywhere from 20 to 50 people waiting,” said employee Victoria Stahl, who is in a union pushing for increased staffing. “From the moment I walk in it doesn’t die down until 11 or 12. There are other days where it just never dies down.”

Starbucks Corp. doesn’t run its airport stores, a spokesman said. HMSHost, which operates those locations, didn’t comment.

Some restaurants are offering signing bonuses and increasing base pay to lure workers back, but pay isn’t the only hangup, said Rob Wigington, executive director of the Airport Restaurant & Retail Association. Employees at airport bars, restaurants and shops must undergo background screening through TSA—a process that has slowed hiring, he said.

Trying to predict the timing and the speed of travel’s recovery was all but impossible, said Mookie Patel, chief business and finance officer at Austin-Bergstrom International Airport.

Passengers have sometimes needed a refresher on travel basics. Mr. Patel said more are forgetting IDs, packing overweight bags and struggling in ways that have at times slowed things down.

Smaller airports in suddenly hot vacation destinations, like those near national parks and beaches, are facing record levels of air traffic this summer. They are having to find new places to park planes staying at the airport overnight, adding security screening lanes and taking other measures to accommodate the influx.

“It is a fortunate problem to have,” said Sean Briggs, business development manager at the airport in Boise, Idaho.

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS

What has been your recent experience with air travel? Join the conversation below.

In Bozeman, Mont., airport officials expanded ticket counters and acquired new boarding bridges, but airlines kept announcing new flights, boosting capacity by 25% beyond what officials had expected at the start of the year, Airport Director Brian Sprenger said.

“We haven’t overflowed our parking lot yet. But we’re going to be really close in the next couple of weeks,” he said.

After decades of flying, pilot Stuart Walker says turbulence isn’t entirely predictable. But there are different types of turbulence pilots watch for. Walker explains each one and what pilots do to avoid a bumpy ride. Illustration: Alex Kuzoian for The Wall Street Journal

Write to Alison Sider at alison.sider@wsj.com

Copyright ©2020 Dow Jones & Company, Inc. All Rights Reserved. 87990cbe856818d5eddac44c7b1cdeb8

[thestuckylibrary-bigbang]

AU

Part 3

This is the final post of the AUs! Take a look through all these wonderful works in the following genres!

Shrinkyclinks (Non-Serum Steve/Winter Soldier Bucky)

Shrunkyclunks (Modern Bucky/Captain America Steve)

Soulmate AU

Spies and Secret Agents

Sports AU

Sugar Daddy AU

Supernatural/Occult AU

Time Travel and Parallel Universes

Canon ‘Verse | AU Part One | AU Part Two | Masterpost

Shrinkyclinks (Non-serum Steve/Winter Soldier Bucky)

After, Therefore Because of It words by noncorporealform | Art by artgroves

Rating: E Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence Words: 94k Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers Tags: Alternate Universe - Detectives, P.I. Bucky Barnes, pre-serum Steve Rogers, murder mystery, conspiracy, human experimentation, past sexual abuse, minor character death

Summary: “If you move back to Brooklyn, we can pick up where we left off,” Bucky said.

“Where did we leave off?” Steve asked.

Bucky had an image in his head that had never dimmed in intensity. It was a closed door. The door in his childhood apartment, and Steve was on the other side of it, walking away down the hall. Confusion grabbed at his seventeen year-old heart. He had wanted Steve back as soon as he walked away, even though he understood the reasons for him leaving. Where Bucky wanted to pick up was to figure out that strain in his heart that came after the door shut, the one he hadn’t understood, and still didn’t.

“I don’t know,” Bucky admitted.

Steve wants Bucky’s help to solve the murder of Dr. Abraham Erskine. Meanwhile, Bucky wants to find out what happened to Steve after his mysterious disappearance at seventeen.

Ghost of You by RedSteele

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings

Words: 20k

Relationships: Steve Rogers/James “Bucky” Barnes

Tags: Non-Serum Steve Rogers/Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes | Shrinkyclinks, Non-Consensual Medical Experimentation, Implied/Referenced Torture, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, modern!Bucky, Comic Book Science, Graphic Depictions of Violence, only a little bit

Summary: Bucky’s job was far from monotonous, but between his last mission being a complete bust and being taken off rotation for field work, he found himself with a lot more free time and little to do with it. But when strange events started to happen at SHIELD, he stumbled onto a conspiracy that could tear his whole world apart. Who was the man in the hospital gown that kept appearing out of nowhere? What was Shield hiding? And most importantly, who is Steve Rogers?

Art by tsumi-noaru

Tint & Shade by inthearmsofathief Art by ensign-cannonfodder

Rating: T Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Words: 25k Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Tags: Shrinkyclinks, Post Captain America: Winter Soldier, art therapist Steve, Recovery Fic, PTSD 

The man blinked, slow and heavy. His pale blue eyes didn’t seem to be seeing the world around him. “Joe?” Steve took the peroxide out of the man’s hands and shook his head. “I’m not –” “How’d you make it out?” Steve stilled for a moment before putting the peroxide aside and peeling back the man’s hoodie. The guy was delirious. “I thought Hydra killed you,” he murmured. Steve got one arm out of the hoodie, relaxing a bit at the man’s words. Whatever he’d been through, he wasn’t on Hydra’s side. “Fearless Captain Rogers. Course you made it out. Bet you kicked those Nazis right in the head.” Steve pulled back. Captain Joe Rogers? Joseph Rogers. That was his grandfather’s name. He’d died in World War II. This guy couldn’t possibly be talking about him.

–

Somewhere between the fall of Shield due to a long running Hydra infiltration, finding out that his land lord is an Avenger, and being commissioned for some truly gaudy paintings, Steve finds himself harboring the worlds most wanted.

Shrunkyclunks (Modern!Bucky/Cap!Steve)

A Game Show Love Connection by emphasisonem (Ao3, Tumblr)

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 43,334

Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Cap!Steve, Modern!Bucky, Alternate Universe- Modern Setting, Slow Burn, Romance, Sexual Tension, Sexual Content, Mild angst, Fluff, This is a very soft story, Because I want these dopes to be happy, So expect some serious rom-com vibes

Summary: The last thing Jeopardy producer Bucky Barnes needs is some asshole who passed the online test pretending to be Captain America and wasting his time. The last thing he expects is for the guy on the phone to turn out to be that Steve Rogers. There’s a popular expression that insists that stranger things have indeed happened, but Bucky’s pretty sure that this is the weirdest day of his life.

In which Steve Rogers starts watching Jeopardy as a fun way to learn about the things he’s missed, gets selected through the online test, auditions for the show and surprises the hell out of everyone. Especially one James Buchanan Barnes.

Art by @cptnsgrs

bucky barnes: tsa employee extraordinaire by deceptivesoldier

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 28.6k

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers

Tags: Alternate Universe- Airport, Alternate Universe- Canon Divergence, Post-Avengers (2012), Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes (Shrunkyclunks), Humor, Cheesy Villains, Soap Ducks

Summary: When Bucky Barnes decided to take a job with the TSA working nights at baggage claim, he fully anticipated his job to consist of answering dumb questions (“The luggage is behind you, sir”) and sitting on his uncomfortable chair while keeping an eye out for any suspicious behavior.

To his aggravation, however, once it was revealed that Captain America had arrived from the 1940s through ice-travel, Bucky’s routine starts to include “Villain Babysitter”, as wannabe villains begin coming through the airport in hopes of destroying Cap. As a point of professional pride, Bucky takes it upon himself to keep them from leaving the airport.

At least until someone above his pay grade can come by and deal with them.

He did not expect that someone to be Steve Rogers himself.

Steve, who for some reason, likes coming to the airport. Given that the man is a national treasure, from his smooth mouth to his patriotic ass, who is Bucky to argue?

Art:

Cover Art by @lovesfic

Banners by @lovesfic  

Moodboard by @lovesfic  

Paintings of Bucky and Steve/Bucky by @rohkeutta

Deep Cover by SoftObsidian74 (ao3)

Art on tumblr by @ellebeesknees

Fic rating: R Art rating: G Archive Warnings: Chose not to Use Archive Warnings Words: 109,816 Relationships: Steve Rogers/Bucky Barnes Tags: Cap!Steve/modern!Bucky(shrunkyclunks), meet-ugly, PTSD, amputee!Bucky, unintentional stalking, identity porn, secret identity fail, fluff and angst, the Avengers are all good bros, eventual smut

If you wanna feel like a rockstar, you call Bucky Barnes, owner of Shining Star Karaoke and DJ Services. Bucky has gained faithful followers for making people feel like the main event. When different men with the same Dorito physique pop up at his gigs all over NYC, he isn’t sure if he’s just a magnet for gym bros or being pranked. Spoiler: The man in the uncanny disguises is on his own mission to sing any time, anyway, and any song he wants without being judged as Steve Rogers or Captain America.

Don’t Leave Me Asunder by maikurosaki (aka allegra-dreams on tumblr)

Rating: T

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 31k

Relationship: Steve Rogers/ Bucky Barnes

Tags: Shrunkyclunks, Captain America Steve Rogers/ Modern Bucky Barnes, War Veteran Bucky, Amputee Bucky, Tony is a Good Bro, PTSD, Bucky swears a lot, Fluff and Angst

Summary: Like many other war veterans, Bucky Barnes is alone. He doesn’t talk to his family, he has no friends and his only human interactions are with his cleaning crew from Avengers Tower. Plagued by nightmares and pain, he lives each day in isolation. Until the Avengers bring their fight at home and Bucky gets to meet the famous Captain America. To his surprise, both their lives change forever after that

Or: the janitor listening to music and ignoring the battle around him AU that no one asked for.

ART by the wonderful merrkkat

I’ve been holding my breath, by MsPeppernose

Rating: E / NSFW

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 20k

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Tags: Explicit Sexual Content, Voyeurism, Head Injury,  Pining,  Masturbation,  Anal Sex, Steve is a creeper,  But only a little, and mostly because he’s lonely, AU, Shrunkyclunks,

Summary:  Steve Rogers likes to visit his local coffee shop between missions, and it has nothing to do with the hot barista named Bucky…well, it maybe has a little to do with it. It’s just coincidence that Steve’s apartment is also directly opposite said barista’s apartment meaning Steve frequently has a full view of his living room.

It’s not spying, not really, and it turns out to be lucky, because one day he sees Bucky get knocked out. It’s up to Steve to save him…and then think of a reason why he saw Bucky get injured in the first place.

Incredible Art by the wonderful @lasenbyphoenix

More heart, less attack by Detour (@juststaygold)

Rating: T

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words:  39,789

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Tags: Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Shrunkyclunks, Self-Discovery, Emotional Baggage, Recovery, Canon Divergence - Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Summary:  After SHIELD’s collapse, Steve comes back in New York. Without a war or crisis, he’s struggling to find his place in the world again. There’s time to relearn his city and time to wonder what he’s doing here.

When a mysterious guy hits on him on the subway, it’s a welcome interruption. Something resonates between the two of them, a connection neither of them try to deny. The trouble is that Barnes disappeared three years ago, and the more Steve learns, the more he wants to know.

But Barnes disappeared for a reason.

S__am rolls his eyes. “Yes, Steve, you could have a lead on a three year old mystery because you’re just that good, not because a random hipster flirted with you.”

“Well, when you put it that way,” Steve says.

Art by Doomcheese

no matter how long the day is (i’ll come home to you) a collab between @talkplaylove and @artgroves 

View no matter how long the day is art tag on @artgroves.

Rating: T (Fic, Art)

Archive Warnings: Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Words: 27,769

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Tags:  Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Alternate Universe–Canon Divergent, Notting Hill AU, Post-Avengers (2012), Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Captain America Steve Rogers/Modern Bucky Barnes (Shrunkyclunks), Modern Bucky Barnes, suicide ideation, Canonical Character Death

Summary:  

Steve’s spent an hour along Portobello Road before he sees the paparazzi on the left side of the street, trying to be inconspicuous by a street lamp. He crosses the street and ducks into the first store he sees, tucked behind a screaming red door and under a blue and white striped awning.

He listens, feet planted in front of the door, shoulders tense, as he looks around the shop. Row upon row of books are on the shelves in front of him, the wood creaking under their weight. Behind the counter is a dark haired man wearing a jacket, elbow on the table, stubbled chin on one hand, gloved left hand flipping the pages of a book.

No one follows Steve in.

———————–

Or, the one where Captain America travels the world, learns how to be Steve Rogers again, and meets Bucky Barnes along the way. Also: the one where two old souls fall in love over young adult books, long distance calls, and texting at strange hours of the day.

Read on Ao3 | 

Red, White and Those Other Colors by coveryourheads (rsk110)

Rating: Mature Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers Characters: Steve Rogers, James “Bucky” Barnes, Natasha Romanova, Tony Stark, Clint Barton, Thor (Marvel) Additional Tags: James “Bucky” Barnes No Power, Loosely follows movie plots, No Winter Soldier, Cats, Angst, Steve Rogers Angst, References to Depression, Bucky is James Barnes Grandson Summary:

Steve Rogers wakes up from the ice to a world where he has nothing left.

He meets Bucky, his best friend James Barnes’ grandson, who is an agent of SHIELD.

[His cats are perched on the bench, watching the night sky. The volume is low but he can hear Steve’s laughter, filming the fascinated cats and the fantastic display in the air above. Lights burst in the black sky, in splashes of various flares, in red, white, and other colors. Awe aspiring and patriotic, loud, but so calming and majestic. It fills him with satisfaction as big as the sky, in those flowing and falling colors.]

ART POST -HERE-

Soulmate AU

A soulmate is a scary thing by SkyKathryn 

A Soulmate is a Scary Thing [Art] by Lasenby_Heathcote (Ao3) / Lasenbyphoenix (Tumblr)

Relationships: Steve/Bucky, Bucky/Loki (minor) Fic Rating: Not Rated Archive Warnings: Underage Tags: Sex, loki x bucky sex, Steve x Bucky endgame, Steve Rogers Feels, Burns, Alternate Universe - Medieval, Medieval AU, Medieval Medicine, Prince!Steve, Knight!Bucky, Soulmate AU, soul marks, Forbidden Soulmates, growing up fic, consetual sex, Kingdoms This is a prefic for Soulmates are a Dangerous Thing, but can be read on its own as its the start. Ever since they were kids its always been Steve and Bucky, Bucky and Steve, but after they grow up and Bucky starts realising things werent all as they seemed he starts to panic, to try and save his best friend from a fate he knows he cant outrun without letting his own fears and feelings slip. But no matter how hard he tried there was no way to outrun the plans the universe has set out for you, but you can try. Medieval au.

the cold never bothered me anyway by @icoulddthisallday

Rating: E, 

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: ~70k

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Tags: shrunkyclunks, soulmate AU, Bucky is an Awkward Millenial, Steve Rogers vs the 21st Century, virginity hang ups

Summary:   Bucky Barnes has spent his whole life in a state of mild hypothermia. Steve Rogers has spent the last 70 years in the ice. The two things aren’t related until, suddenly, they are. Shrunkyclunks soulmate AU (AKA the awkward bb au).

art by instagrims, banner by @icoulddthisallday

Spies & Secret Agents

Between Midnight and Dawn by The_She_Devil

Rating: E

Archive Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence

Length: 53k

Relationships: Steve Rogers/James “Bucky” Barnes

Tags: domestic violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, panic attacks, substance abuse, torture, explicit sexual content, language, vomiting, choking, threat of suicide, alternate universe - modern: no powers, alternate universe - Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Summary: After a S.H.I.E.L.D. mission gone bad, Bucky is left with no memory of the past year, which includes his and Steve’s divorce. Steve, who has never really gotten over his ex-husband, is left to navigate the fine line between helping and hindering Bucky’s recovery while trying to protect himself. At the same time, both men are fighting to uncover the truth of Bucky’s disappearance, what was done to him, and why.

Art by Fowly  

Fields of Grey by Aelys_Althea with Art by @mithborien

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers

Characters: Steve Rogers, James “Bucky” Barnes, Natasha Romanov (Marvel), Sam Wilson (Marvel), Tony Stark, Wanda Maximoff, Clint Barton, Bruce Banner, Vision (Marvel), Nick Fury, Thor (Marvel), Loki (Marvel)

Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Police, Special Forces, Assassins & Hitmen, mafia, Moral Ambiguity, Character Development, Childhood Friends, childhood illness, Minor Character Death, References to Cancer, Pining, Reunion

Summary:

Steve strove to be Right. To do Good. That was what his mom had told him second chances were for, and if he owed her memory to trying. Joining the police force, protecting people, was a natural decision to make. For Steve, it had always been black and white, good and bad. Special Forces team SHIELD embodied everything he stood for.

Except that there was Bucky. Bucky, who had disappeared for years. Bucky, who was a member of HYDRA, the organisation that was so black in its elusive, criminal endeavours as to epitomise. In an effort to haul his oldest and dearest friend from the snake pit while at once putting down the beast he’d fought to suppress for so long, Steve is struck by an unfortunate revelation: there exists a rather impressive field of grey that complicated things.

The world wasn’t nearly so simply black and white as he’d initially thought.

nothing is (but what is not?) by layersofsilence

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 40k

Relationships: Steve Rogers / Bucky Barnes

Tags: Implied/Referenced Torture, Canon-Typical Violence, Alternate Universe - Spies & Secret Agents, Temporary Character Death (prior to start of story), loosely inspired by Mission: Impossible - Rogue Nation, ShrunkyClunks

Summary:

Three years after his best friend (his lover, his Bucky) had been killed in action, Steve receives word that he’s alive. But seeking men back from the dead has consequences, it seems, and in his search Steve finds himself at the centre of an ever-widening conspiracy that’s slowly revealing itself to involve everything he thought he knew.

Playlist by @thunderboltsortofapenny (links to Spotify)

Sports AU

howitzer by spacebuck

Rating: E

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 111K

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Tags: College Sport au, Hockey au, brief homophobic language, college hockey level violence, closeted character/relationship, mild descriptions of injury/medical attention.

Summary:

Bucky Barnes, figure skating champion, is forced to switch his skates for hockey ones when he leaves for college. Problem is, he’s never played hockey before, and now he has to be good enough to get the scholarship he needs. Enter Steve Rogers, Carter University Men’s Hockey player, who’s decided that he’d do anything to get this boy on his team.

Cue five am runs, overwhelming classes, new friends, plenty of snow, and a sport that’s fast becoming a way of life.

Header by Jessie Lucid @lucidnancyboy

Art by Jessie Lucid @lucidnancyboy (on AO3)

Art by @ninjasherlock

wholesale change, by @biblionerd07

Rating: M

No archive warnings

Words: 83k

Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers

Tags: Alternate Universe - Hockey, Alternate Universe - Reality Show, Bisexual Steve Rogers, Homophobia, Coming Out, Getting Together, Guilt, Depression, Anxiety, Slow Burn, Friends to Lovers

Summary: Steve Rogers, captain of a losing NHL team, has taken so many bad penalties this season he’s worried he’s going to get sent down to the minors as punishment. His agent comes up with a plan to make Steve irreplaceable to the fans–a reality dating show. Where the contestants want to date Steve.

Art by the amazing @denimbxy (art tumblr @cal-aus)

Sugar Daddy AU

Something Sweet by ColorCoated

Rating: E

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings apply

Words: 23k

Relationships: Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes

Tags: Past Relationship, Modern AU, Age Difference, Mention of DaddyKink, Drinking, Romance, Masturbation

Summary: _“What’s your name?” Steve asked almost immediately, needing to match a name to this gorgeous, pouty little face. _ “Bucky,” the dancer answered with a wide smile. “Bucky Barnes.”

_“Bucky?” Steve repeated with a shake of his head. A least he knew what he could call the kid, but for goodness sake. He shook his head a second time. _“Geeze, a kid’s name for a kid.”

_Bucky looked a little offended and glared at Steve. His eyes narrowed and he pointed aggressively to his crown, “Not a kid.” _—– Workaholic Steve gives himself a night off and is immediately charmed by Bucky, who he meets at a nightclub. Steve is a bit put off by the age difference, and now he has to figure out how to start a relationship with the young guy who just passed out in his guest room.

This story is a prequel, but can be read independently.

Art 1, Art 2, and Fic Banner by Chalenmimi-frenchtoast

Sugar Lips and Sinful Hips by TheFlailing (tumblr)

Rating: M

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 20k

Relationship: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers

Tags: No Powers, Modern Setting, Age Difference, Sugar Daddy Bucky, Brief mentions of sex Summary: Bucky Barnes is a successful New York businessman, and at a glance, it looks like he’s got everything a man could want. But deep down, underneath the money and the pretty face, the truth is this: he’s lonely. Enter one Steven Grant Rogers: starving college student, just trying to make ends meet - and hot as fuck. Bucky desperately needs to be in his pants. And that’s all; nothing more. Right?

Art by ​@glide-thru (tumblr)

Supernatural/Occult AU

Heart and Soul by super0random0girl (tumblr)

Rating: T

Archive Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Words: 22k

Relationship: Steve Rogers/ Bucky Barnes

Tags: Alternate Universe - Supernatural Elements, Semi-Canon Compliant, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Faery!Bucky Barnes, Siren!Steve Rogers,  Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Blood Drinking, References to Sex Work, Period-Typical Homophobia

Summary: “It’s the people who hurt innocents that he hurts and kills. Because he’s kind like that.”

Sarah nodded again, adjusting Steve’s blankets in preparation to keep moving. “And why do we think that he is so kind?” she asked playfully.

“His soulmate is Good and carries half of his Heart, so Saxon’s soulmate influences his heart into Goodness,” Steve answered dutifully. “And since Saxon has a Heart, it means that Saxon is a Soul and his Heart will live for as long as Saxon will.” Sarah nodded. Just as she was leaving, Steve piped up again. “Do you think that I’m a Heart? Do you think that I’m still alive because my Soul is still alive?”

Or, a siren and a trickster walk into a bar and find out they’re soulmates.

Art here and here by shutupimcreating

Heartlines by  thewriterofperfectdisasters @jjjakesully​

Rating: Mature

Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence

Category: M/M

Fandoms: Captain America (Movies)Marvel Cinematic Universe

Relationship: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers

As a child, Steve’s family was brutally murdered by witch hunters, and he’s been running ever since. He hasn’t let himself feel anything for a long time, but now he’s met Bucky, a guy that’s funny, smart, and hot as hell. But what Steve doesn’t know, is that Bucky is avoiding hunters as well: his parents, who want to bring him back into the family business. When they ask Bucky to find one last witch, with the promise he’ll be out of the business for good, what happens when Steve finds out he’s the target? Will they be able to get past centuries of bias and bloodshed and find happiness together?

Art by @falcon-hill

In This Life and the Next (Read on AO3 |) by scootypuffjrsucks (AO3 | Tumblr) 

Tumblr Art Post by starshieldfolder (Tumblr)

Rating: M

Pairings: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers

Characters: Steve Rogers, James “Bucky” Barnes, Tony Stark, Natasha Romanoff,

Archive Warnings: None

Important Tags: Alternate Universe - The Mummy (1999); shrinkyclinks; Fluff; Fluff and Angst; Kissing; Action-Adventure; Horror; Comedy; Alternating POV between Steve and Bucky; Violence and Blood; Everything you’d expect from an AU of the Mummy; so not historically accurate in any way; but a lot of fun

Summary:

In 1926, when Steve’s friend Tony presents him with an interesting artifact from an ancient city that isn’t supposed to exist, Steve hopes his days as just a librarian might be over. The artifact leads him to Bucky, a mysterious man with a strange golden arm who was found in the desert with no memory. Steve and Bucky immediately feel a connection to one another that leads them on an adventure to discover the past and save the future. Together, they travel to Hamunaptra, the City of the Dead, unleash a cursed Mummy with a grotesque red face, and do everything in their power to stop him from destroying the world.

Notes: In the true spirit of the movie, very little about this fic is in any way historically accurate.

in this twilight by @belovedmuerto, art by @curry-ketchup

art is here, please go lavish Curry with praise as he did such an amazing job.

Rating: Teen and Up

Archive Warnings: none

Tags: vampire!AU, vampire!Bucky, witch!Steve, some mentions/implications of past rape/non-con, but there is no rape/non-con in this fic, soulbond, soulbond au, dubcon cuddling, shrinkyclinks

Summary: this is a gift/ it comes with a price/ who is the lamb?/ and who is the knife?

Time Travel & Parallel Universes

From Tralfamadore, With Love by newsbypostcard

Rating: E Archive Warnings: Choose Not To Use Archive Warnings Words: 106k Relationships: James “Bucky” Barnes/Steve Rogers Tags: time travel, science fiction, slow burn, pining, dancing, chronic illness, mutants

Part of the 2017 @thestuckylibrary-bigbang​

Summary: In 2018, Steve, Sam, and Bucky embark on a mission to explore a Hydra-owned warehouse when a kid with mutant powers sends Steve 18 years into the future. After figuring out where (and when) he is, Steve tracks Bucky down in 2036 to find he’s become a successful business owner and an impassioned advocate for mutant rights. Steve’s just as in love with Bucky as he was when he left, but for Bucky it’s been a long 18 years. It’s hard to accept when Bucky keeps him at arm’s length… but Steve’s never met a challenge that he didn’t take.

As he gets used to life in 2036 and the flaws in Bucky’s idyllic life expose themselves, Steve also has to manage a suspiciously ubiquitous security force, a Brotherhood of Mutants, and old competing loyalties among his aged friends. There’s a Bucky in 2018 waiting for him to come home, but if he does that, it means leaving this Bucky behind for a third, unforgivable time. How can he choose? What’s Bucky not saying? How can he face losing everything – again?

Art [ 1 , 2 ] by @icoulddthisallday​

I, The Paradox by @drowningbydegrees Art by @riakomai and @hopeless–geek

Fic rating: Explicit Word Count: 80k Relationships: Steve/Bucky(x2), Bucky(x2) Tags:  Time Travel Shenanigans, Angst, Threesome, Self-cest, Character Study, Canon-Typical Violence, Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, Blow Jobs, Anal Sex

Sharing a life with a recovering Winter Soldier means never quite escaping what Steve sees as his biggest failure. When one of Tony’s machines functions differently than advertised, Steve is given an unexpected opportunity to change the past. He’s spent so much time mapping out all the ways he could have saved Bucky from falling, but in the moment, he never stops to consider whether or not he should.

Actions have consequences, and meddling with time has more drastic ones than most. Steve wakes with two divergent timelines in his head, and two very different versions of Bucky in his bed. With the machine broken, and no idea whether their situation is permanent, this new arrangement promises to be an adjustment for all three of them. Only, that may not be the worst of their problems…

Art post by @hopeless–geek Art post by @riakomai

[adtwixt]

Adtwixt - News: The Best Gifts For Dads, For Any Occasion

Buying a gift for dad used to be simple. Whether it was a Christmas gift for dad or a birthday gift for dad, it was culturally appropriate to just pick out socks, ties, or acoffee mug stamped with a clever phrase and call it a day. Times have changed, for the better. The best gift ideas for dads are meaningful, and will sucker-punch him right in the heart when he tears open the wrapping paper.

And while finding a gift for dad isnt difficult, per se, it does require some thought because its a gift and all gifts should have sentiment behind them. We know: A lot of dads are tough to shop for. This trope holds up. They either say they dont want anything or give you no direction. But thats why, just like good old dad, were here for you. We spelunked deep into the world of mens gifts, vetting hundreds of items to assemble this list. From comfy sneakers and kitchen tools to teched-out headphones and hand-crafted essentials, this list has exactly what dad wants even if he swears he doesnt want anything. Trust us, we know.

Genuine Crazy Horse Leather Electronics Organizer

This gorgeously weathered leather bag will keep electronics organized when dads traveling for work or play.

Buy Now $43.21

This organizer corrals his cables, pens, and tools, as well as a phone, passports, and even SD cards. The more use it gets, the better the leather looks. It ages well. Just like dad. Tell him that at least.

Garmin Legacy Hero Series Marvel Captain America Smartwatch

For the dad who loves workouts and superheroes, get him this stunner of a smartwatch

Buy Now $399.99

This Garmin smartwatch hasblue, silver and brown leather elements and a brushed stainless steel bezel modeled after Captain Americas shield. It has adisplay resolution is 260 x 260 pixels, and the display size is 1.3 inches in diameter. But most of all, it looks truly dope and thecase back of the watch is emblazoned with Captain Americas saying, I can do this all day. Yup.

Peak Design Tech Pouch

This is the ultimate solution to organize all of dads cords and tech gear.

Buy Now $59.95

This tech pouch, made of weatherproof 200D nylon, has enough pockets to fit every single thing dad might need or want to have on hand. We particularly like the cable organization with pass-through for charging devices on the go.

Hestra Elk Utsjo Glove

For the dad who'd rather be hitting the slopes, arm him with these glorious insulated gloves.

Buy Now $159.95

These gloves are no joke. Theyre pre-curved and made fromNordic elk leather and insulated with Primaloft Gold synthetic insulation. His hands will feel like theyre encased in down.

Full Windsor The Muncher

If dad would prefer to eat his Christmas feast over an open fire, get him this do-it-all multi-tool.

Buy Now $49.99

This titanium tool is everything he needs when hes pitching a tent: Its a can opener, a spork, a serrated butter knife, a can opener, a bottle opener, a fire flint, a core cutter, and a screwdriver. The list goes on, but were sure you get it.

Celestron 70mm Travel Scope

So dad is into stargazing? He'll see the Big Dipper with this ingenious portable travel telescope that he can take on his outdoor adventures.

Buy Now $59.99

Astronomy has never looked this good, thanks to the handy Celestron portable scope.You get fully-coated glass optics, a powerful 70mm objective lens, a lightweight frame, and a custom backpack to carry it all around.

Glerups GR Charcoal Slippers

When it's frigid outside, keep his dogs warm with these luxe wool slippers.

Buy Now $154.95

These Danish slippers have a wool upper, a rubber sole, and the kind of thoughtful construction that keep his feet warm, but never overheated or sweaty.

Engraved Hammer for Dad

If dad loves his home-improvement and DIY projects, he'll be wowed by this personalized hammer, featuring a laser-engraved saying your choice.

Buy Now $25.99

This is a full-sized hammer with a steel head. You figure out a quote, or dates, that mean something to dad, and have it engraved on the front side of the hammer. Because this is laser engraving, its permanent and will never rub off.

TAC-FORCE TF606WS Engraved Tactical Assisted Opening Pocket Knife

There are great pocketknives, and then there are great pocketknives that have extra meaning. This is the latter.

Buy Now $25.95

Two great gifts in one: A Tac-Force Speedster knife with an assisted opening, partially serrated, 3CR13 stainless steel blade. Plus, two lines of engraved text on the wood handle. The knife also hasa glass breaker, flip-out rope cutter, and can opener. It weighs five ounces.

Sennheiser Wireless Headphones

These crystal clear wireless headphones are the best ones for audiophiles.

Buy Now $399.95

Hard to believe but these Bluetooth headphones sound even better than they look. Nice features abound, including three different app-controlled, noise-canceling modes so users can select to have some, less, and no ambient noise filter in. In other words, theyre great for dads who want to listen to something but need to keep an ear out for kid chaos. When he does need to take them off, they automatically pause, resuming music when he puts them back on.

Garmin Fenix 6X Pro Solar Smartwatch

This is the watch for dads who like to hike, bike, and run on trails.

Buy Now $999.99

Ideal for the dad who likes to go off the grid or just look like he does the Garmin smartwatchs crystal-like glass also acts as a solar panel, extending the life of the device when exposed to the sun. When acting as a smartwatch, it boosts battery life from 21 days to 24; when used as a GPS device that goes down to about 15 hours. A built-in Power Manager allows users to check in and monitor battery life while also seeing how app usage affects it all.

PHOOZY Thermal Phone Case

Every dad needs an awesome phone case that prevents overheating and extends battery life.

Buy Now $29.99

This phone case not only keeps his phone from overheating in the sun, butis water-resistant, splash-proof, and it floats if dropped in the water.

LEATHERMAN Wave Plus Multitool

This multitool fits all the tools you could ever need for a camping excursion in one stunning package.

Buy Now $99.00

The Leatherman is a classic, must-have multi-tool that has stuck around for 30+ years for a reason. The tools are portable, handsome, and, above all else, super useful. The Leatherman Wave Plus is no exception. This tool features a nifty one-handed design and features 17 tools including pliers, replaceable wire cutters, wire strippers, plain and serrated knives, a saw, spring-action scissors, a ruler, files, and screwdrivers.

Spicy and substantial, Four Roses Small Batch Select is a welcome addition to the brands core line up. Bottled at 104 proof, Small Batch Select is a fruit forward whiskey with notes of chocolate and nuts balancing a substantial spice. One things for certain: this will sell quickly. So keep your eyes peeled and stock up.

Buy Now $65

Bellroy Dopp Kit

This handsome dopp kit has a water-resistant lining for an easy wipe down.

Buy Now $55.00

And dad can keep all his essentials organized in this dopp kit. The toiletry bag is water-resistant and can hold everything from cologne and shaving tools to trimmers and toothbrushes, so no more leaks or exploding shampoos.

Carhartt Men's Woodside Acrylic Hat

Bad hair day? Never, not with this ruggedly good-looking Carhartt beanie.

Buy Now $19.99

This hat, so simple yet so perfect, combines waffle-knit and 3M Thinsulate lining to keep his noggin warm, no matter how gnarly the weather is.

POWERUP 3.0 Original Smartphone Controlled Paper Airplane

This thing is so simple, it's brilliant: A paper plane dad controls from his phone.

Buy Now $49.99

A simple plane turns into a remote-control flying beast that can go up to 180 feet,and he controls the plane with his smartphone through the app.

Explorer Men's Solid Cologne by ulio and jack

Of course dad needs to smell great when he's on the road, so arm him with this on-point, non-greasy solid cologne that fits in his pocket.

Buy Now $24.00

No dude wants to smell like he just walked into an Axe pit. This solid cologne is understated and minimalist,with notes of bergamot, jasmine, Japanese grapefruit and a dash of peppermint.

Master & Dynamic MW07 GO True Wireless Earphones

Not only do these offer superior fit, whether he's taking calls or running on the treadmill, but they give 22 hours of listening time.

Buy Now $199.00

For the dad who goes hard on his headphones, get him the new Master and Dynamic earbuds that have quick pairing technology and a 30 meter/100 feet connectivity range, so hes never out of touch.

Filson Men's Dryden 2 Wheel Carry On Suitcase

You'll never find a more impressive travel bag for dad than this Filson one, made of ballistic nylon.

Buy Now $295.00

Not only is this wheeled carry-on bag durable enough to withstand the zombie apocalypse, because its made of 100-denier ballistic nylon, but its also eminently practical. It has a full-zip opening with zippered separation panels. And it only weighs six pounds.

MenScience Androceuticals Travel Kit

This top-notch anti-aging travel kit will help dad keeping young beyond his years.

Buy Now $86.00

If dad never put much thought into his balms and after-shave, this kit is for him. , this set features shave cream, face wash, face lotion, after-shave balm, shampoo, deodorant, lip balm, sleep mask, ear plugs and travel bag. His skin will thank you and so will the TSA agents who dont have to rifle through another bag: all of the products are travel sized.

Pendleton Yakima Camp Wool Throw Blanket

For the dad who loves himself a good ski trip, or just reading a book in front of an open fire, help him stay warm with this pure virgin wool and cotton throw blanket.

Buy Now $99.50

Fun fact: Camp blankets much like this one were originally used by shepherds to brave the brutal elements of the Pacific Northwest. And this wool and cotton blanket is ideal for outdoorsmen.

Dango D01 Dapper Pen Bifold Wallet

This wallet has it all and comes in a slim package.

Buy Now $109.00

For the dad who prides himself on carrying only the barest of necessities, this minimal aluminum wallet has enough space for cash and cards and features a built-in notepad and pen so he can take notes wherever and whenever.

Red Wing Heritage Wallet

There's a time and a place for minimalist wallets, but if dad needs something a tad bigger, go with this beauty that's slim yet roomy.

Buy Now $109.99

We dig everything about this wallet, from its vegetable-tanned leather to its durability to its surprising roominess. It holds unfolded bills in a full-length pocket, has six card slots, and features an international currency pocket.

Jaybird Vista True Wireless Bluetooth Sport Waterproof Earbuds

Easy to pack and easy on the ears, these headphones are a foolproof workout companion.

Buy Now $179.97

These genius workout earbuds are the diameter of a nickel, and fit snugly in ear. They come with attachable, rubber mini grips in small, medium, and large, so users can adjust as needed. The wireless buds also boast a not-too-shabby 16 hour battery life.

BLACK + BLUM - Stainless Steel Sandwich Box

This is simply the best-looking sandwich box for the modern brown bagger.

Buy Now $31.80

Packing your lunch is a simple way to eat healthier, control your portions, and save money. Youd be hard pressed to find a better take-to-work food container. Durable and tight sealing, it fits a good portion of food and, best yet, its bamboo lid doubles as a cutting board.

MEATER+165ft Long Range Smart Wireless Meat Thermometer

This is the most high-tech meat thermometer you can buy.

Buy Now $99.00

This wireless meat thermometer sends data to your phone from up to 165 feet away so dad can sit on the deck without pawing at the estimates cooking times, so everything comes out at the same time, but it has dual temperature sensors that can monitor internal meat temperature and external temperature to ensure flawless results.

Personalized Miniature Steak Branding Iron by Sloan Brands

Sure, this branding iron is a gimmick, but one dadll use over and over.

Buy Now $25.00

With these personalized branding iron, he can leave his mark on chickens, steaks, burgers, or pork chops. Even quesadillas. Theyre just over one inch tall and easy to use.

This year, Glenmorangie updated its venerable Quinta Ruban expression. Previously a 12 year finished in port wine casks, the new iteration receives two additional years of aging. Those additional 730 days give the whisky added complexity and deeper, distinct notes of orange, chocolate and apple that compliment the juicy berry and rich nuttiness imparted by the the port finish.

Buy Now $69

Opinel Nomad Camping Utensil Kit

This camping cook gear set is compact and handsome as hell.

Buy Now $67.10

Opinels beloved kitchen and folding knives are no secret to foodies. And we dig this foray into outdoor eating; this set includes a folding knife, a corkscrew knife, a peeler, a cutting board, and a cleaning cloth.

Plott Cubit Smart Virtual Reality Measuring Tool

A VR measuring tool might sound like a high-tech gimmick, but this will fast become the go-to gear for every home improvement project.

Buy Now $92.28

The Cubit uses augmented reality to measure and design with scale and context and then plots the points on your wall where hes going to be drilling holes or hanging up shelves. That means no more crooked pictures, or crawling around on hands and knees.

Gerber Flatiron Folding Cleaver Pocket Knife

For the dad who'd rather be chopping wood, it's a folding cleaver in a pocket knife's body.

Buy Now $34.00

This stunning cleaver knife has a badass cleaver blade, a textured aluminum handle and a sturdy folding frame lock design, plus a nicely textured handle.

DJI Mavic 2 Pro Drone Quadcopter with Hasselblad Camera

Mavic makes the worlds best small drones with cameras, and this one, with 27 minutes of flight time, is no exception.

Buy Now $1,699.00

Go small, or go home. The Mavic 2 Pro drone is beloved for many reasons: Its size, its ability to stay airborne for nearly 30 minutes, and the crisp quality of its picture thanks to the attached Hasselblad camera. You can fly it using simple commands, and yes, it takes a perfect selfie.

Star Wars The Black Series Kylo Ren Force Fx Lightsaber

Because dads love Star Wars toys just as much as the kids.

Buy Now $254.99

What makes this new Kylo Ren lightsaber, which just launched, stand out? It contains crystal activators that split the plasma stream into three channels. Unlike their cheaper brethren, Force FX lightsabers have a real metal hilt, plus they light up and make movie-inspired lightsaber sounds.

Wicked Big Sports Kickball Set

The ultimate super-sized kickball set for the dad who likes to let it rip.

Buy Now $24.95

You could get a ball. Or you get a ball thats twice the size of his head. This massive kickball set includes one oversized ball, three bases, one home plate, one pump, and hours of remorseless good times.

NERF Ultra One Motorized Blaster

The most powerful Nerf on the market, for the dad who feels the need to shoot darts an astounding 120 feet.

Buy Now $49.99

The Ultra One is the first blaster to use Nerfs brand-new Nerf Ultra darts, the farthest flying Nerf darts ever. The new design features an innovative flight tip, lightweight foam construction, and aerofin technology, basically a grooved surface that decreases wind resistance.

Nintendo Switch Lite - Gray

For the gamer dad, here's a less expensive but equally entertaining take on the wildly successful console thats now insanely portable.

Buy Now $199.96

Where the original Switch could be plugged into a TV, the Switch Lite cannot. Its a purely handheld gaming machine, which means its not compatible with Nintendo Switch games that dont support that gaming style, and its perfect for gaming on the go.

Rockwell Razors 6C Adjustable Double Edge Safety Razors

Give him the best shave possible with this beautiful safety razor.

Buy Now $49.99

He gets a customized shave with this razor, which has six fully adjustable settings thanks to the different plates he can swap out. They work on every skin type and every beard length. Oh, and the razor looks damn fine, too.

The Polaroid Lab Digital to Analog Polaroid Photo Printer

For the dad who digs retro photos, get him the Polaroid Lab that converts digital pics on his phone to real Polaroid prints through the app.

Buy Now $129.99

The Polaroid Lab projects the photo from his phone, exposing it onto Polaroid film. Its low-fi and moody, but it produces a vintage result difficult to match with filters and other modern hacks. And hell wind up with very dope-looking keepsakes.

Filson Field Watch

This impressive field watch, from one of our favorite brands, was inspired by the classic timepieces issued to U.S. military servicemen.

Buy Now $350.00

Both stunning and stunningly rugged, the Filson field watch is easy to read in any light condition, be it day, night, fog, or blinding sun. It has a stainless steel case, a scratch-proof and antireflective sapphire crystal, and a 100-meter water-resistant rating. In summary, everything dad needs. And nothing extraneous.

Bulgari Man Wood Neroli

This rich, earthy scent is perfect for the dad who likes to smell great, but in a very understated way.

Buy Now $65.98

This scent is captivating. But its also subtle. Its most like a fall stroll through the woods, and each bottle is made from 90 percent recycled glass.

Shwood Francis Round Wood Sunglasses

These classic shades have a rounded silhouette and keyhole bridge that is stylish without going overboard.

Buy Now $199.00

Each pair of these sunglasses takes nearly two hours to make, by hand. The end result: A modern classic that flatters everyone. They have wood inlays, five barrel German hinges, and of course, 100 percent UVA/UVB protection.

Col. Littleton Full-Grain Leather No.20 Small Portfolio

A journal is an essential for all dads this leather one looks the part.

Buy Now $98.50

Its all in the details. This leather journal has a brass stud closure, and includes one custom five by eight memo pad. The inside pocket fits extra documents and includes a pen/pencil slot.

Sanuk Men's Vagabond Slip On

If he's into casual comfort, he'll love these super-chill slip-ons. He gets a shoe upper with a sandal bottom. The washed canvas shoe goes with anything, too.

Buy Now $43.60

Torn between a sneaker or a sandal? Get him two for one with this pair of Sanuk slip-ons, which are so comfortable hell forget hes wearing footwear. We particularly like the nicely distressed visible seams.

Osprey Axis Backpack

From hikes to the beach, this is the ultimate weekending backpack.

Buy Now $79.95

If dad is lugging around his travel gear, or merely stuff to the office, hell appreciate this new Osprey backpack. It has a breathable back panel, a soft harness, and an adjustable sternum strap making it ideal for long day hikes. And of course, theres room for all his tech, plus mesh side pockets to he an access everything he needs. Oh, right, and it weighs just over one pound.

Technically, Old Forester Birthday Bourbon doesnt release until September 2, in commemoration of Brown-Forman founder George Garvin Browns birthday. But we want to remind you to start making nice with your liquor store owner now on the off chance you can charm your way into getting them to set one aside for you. We tasted a small, early sample, and the 2019 Birthday is has notes of dark fruit and maple as well as seasonedoak and some mint and pepper. Its a hell of a bottle.

Buy Now $100

Bontrager Flare R USB Tail Light

This best-in-class LED is a must for all cyclist dads.

Buy Now $58.91

You cant get more powerful than this 65-lumen Cree LED light, which can be spotted from more than two kilometers away at night. It has two daytime visibility modes and two nighttime modes. And he uses a USB cable to recharge it.

Atech Multifunction Pen

No, a pen is not the most unique of gifts, but how about one that converts into a screwdriver, bottle opener, and phone stand?

Handy dad gets a ballpoint pen, stylus, bottle opener, mini flat-head, Phillips screwdriver, metric and inch ruler, plus a phone stand.

Topeak Bikamper One-Person Bicycling Tent

Dad might not be an avid bikepacker yet, but hell thank you for his next adventurous obsession when you get him this insanely cool biking tent. It packs down to a bike-friendly size and has its own sack that straps to his bars.

Buy Now $259.95

When unpacked, this tent is a roomy 17 feet in size. Its made of water-resistant, 45-denier nylon with three mesh panels for ventilation and is fully waterproof. Instead of using poles, the Bikamper uses the bikes front wheel to maintain its shape.

Oakley Men's OO9102 Holbrook Square Sunglasses

These hardcore sports sunglasses will help dad protect his eyes when he's at the beach, on hikes, or when he's on a boat.

Buy Now $176.00

These workhorse outdoors sunglasses have it all: They block outUVA, UVB, UVC and harmful blue light up to 400mm. The lenses are made of ultra lightweight Plutonite, so they wont crack or break. And he gets killer clarity at every angle.

Blundstone Unisex Original 500 Series Boots

They're chic, comfortable, and something dad will wear all day, every day.

Buy Now $183.45

These are, without question, the perfect work boots.Theyre made of 2.5-millimeter-thick weather-proof leather, have a shock protection system, and a removable Cambrelle footbed that wicks moisture away.

The release of Michters 10 Year Rye (as well as their bourbon) is always cause to celebrate. Its always a special bottle we are keen to add to the bar and this years edition is particularly delightful, not only because its delicious but its also the first release newly-minted Master Distiller Dan McKee. Supple vanilla rolls around the palate, while caramel and touch of salt play off the peppery rye spice.

Buy Now $175

Taylor Stitch Lodge Sweater

The perfect sweater, this one feel ridiculously soft, like dad is wearing a warm hug.

BUY NOW $168.00

Both deliciously lightweight and yet decadently luxurious, this is a winter wardrobe staple. The sweater, made from soft baby yak wool, works just as well under a leather jacket as it does paired with jeans and sneakers.

Luminox Men's 3051.BO Navy Seal Diving Watch

For dad who loves to dive, get him this outstanding diving watch, which is water resistant to 660 feet.

Buy Now $239.99

For the recreational scuba diver, this is the watch to get, full stop. It can handle 660 foot long dives, and has a black PU strap with stainless steel signature buckle.

Hanks Legend Black Belt

Every dad needs a classic, no-frills black leather belt in his clothing arsenal.

Buy Now $54.99

You dont use a belt to hoist your pants up. You use it to complete your look and make it streamlined. This belt, made from one solid piece of full-grain leather, is that essential accessory.

adidas Originals Men's Stan Smith Leather Sneaker

Every dad needs a timeless pair of white kicks, and these Stan Smith sneakers fully capture the clean style of the '70s original and never look dated.

Buy Now $58.40

Think tennis icons like Jimmy Connors orJohn McEnroe. Those dudes inspired this Stan Smith classic, which features a sleek upper with three perforated stripes for breathability. They have a full grain leather upper with a soft moisture-wicking lining, so his feet wont stink (much). Hey, even Kanye and Alexander Skarsgrd have worn them.

No, its not entirely whiskey, but the Basil Hayden Caribbean Reserve Rye is none the less delicious. A blend of Kentucky rye and Canadian rye, plus a touch of black strap Caribbean rum. The result is a mouthwatering glass of hooch. That small portion of rum goes a long way, giving the juice strong notes of burnt sugar and rum spice, that plays nicely with the ryes vanilla and oak.

Buy Now $53

Every product on Fatherly is independently selected by our editors, writers, and experts. If you click a link on our site and buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission.

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[violetsystems]

#personal

I woke up to a bag of purple wandering jew clippings on my doorstep from my neighbor.  I assume it’s the older lady next store who only speaks Spanish.  I was given some green clippings years ago that finally died off last spring.  I spent the whole winter maintaining those clippings in a haphazardly way.  On my block a lot of people have outdoor gardens.  My neighbors across the way has an entire plot in their back yard.  I was walking home from the bus at three thirty in the morning.  The bus was delayed thirty minutes because of an SQL error.  It was dead quiet and peaceful.  Coming back from New York on these trips has become sort of automatic.  I’ve stuck to the same schedule for predictability’s sake.  This is mostly because I travel alone.  I travelled out there on my birthday this year during fashion week back in February.  I guess this marks my fifth time out there this year traveling alone.  I started thinking about the rhythm of it and why I even continue to go.  If anything five trips later things are still a little bumpy.  Traveling by nature is turbulent at best.  Which is why when you come home to your neighborhood it is nice to feel rooted.  Even if it’s the literal feeling of potting plants on three hours of sleep at eight in the morning.  When I think of being alone it is mostly because I feel exhausted by other people’s demands.  Some of these demands can be almost subliminal and others can be a little more manipulative than that.  We all live on a planet with shrinking resources and space.  Planting and gardening is a pretty stark reminder of that.  We are also not on this planet forever.  The TSA agent reminded me that when he commented on my passport photo.  I thought he was telling me I looked older in my photo than I did in real life.  Everybody on here knows I’m old as fuck.  Old enough to travel alone and write about it.  Not well respected enough to be paid or reimbursed for my time.  But still I look like a Swedish gang member in that photo with a shaved head and a swollen jawline.  I don’t know that traveling is all about monetizing for me.  These days people smile at me more often when I travel.  That’s a payoff in confidence.  Like I’m a pleasant person to encounter in all this mess or something.  I do work very hard on it.  I pretty much was contacted every single day on my vacation about job related stuff.  I am also on call and on salary.  How you define all of that is easier to do when you are alone.  For me it simply means I can take off to New York on a moment’s notice if need be.  I’d find a way.  I’ve been wandering for ages at this point.  Wandering out of the country alone isn’t quite safe for me anymore.  Which must say quite a lot about my place in New York and Chicago if I jump back and forth without blinking.  Regardless of how much gets in the way.

I take the Ashland bus a little before four am to the airport.  Sometimes my neighbors are on that bus going to work.  Riding the bus for me is a package deal when it comes to my love for public transit.  It can be an adventure.  Some people pay forty times the bus fare to get to the airport.  Some people don’t feel safe walking alone.  It certainly varies when you come from a position of privilege I agree.  But logistically speaking I walk with Chicago in some pretty rough spots.  My reputation does follow me around a lot.  I don’t quite understand what my reputation is with certain people.  There’s quite of a lot of assumptions I’ve experienced in my days on Earth.  This particular cycle I feel much more connected to the real world than what I see on the news.  Gun violence is a reality in Chicago.  If you don’t know someone affected by it you are probably ignoring large portions of the city.  We’ve had shootings on our block.  In certain communities, guns are the only protection you have when you can’t trust the police.  I’m a conscientious objector on file.  This extends from war to guns.  I hate guns.  I hate war.  In footwork music over the years I’ve seen a lot of great people die from guns.  You don’t give people an outlet to settle their differences and a chance for fairness and these things will happen.  Chicago has a horrible history of police brutality and systemic racism in the justice system as recent as Laquan McDonald.  If you drill down deep enough into Chicago the politics are far more of a vortex on a local level than internationally.  We’re all tired of the talk from the people who do absolutely nothing to fix the problem other than talk.  What ends up getting us by is a progressive identity as a city.  We have the first woman of color mayor who also identifies as a member of the LGBTQ community.  This is to say that some of us allies out here know our place.  I support this kind of movement forward and all the tolerance that comes therein.  The theme of 2019 in Chicago is power and how we share it.  These days it is quite evident that money trumps everything.  It seems like if you have enough money you can operate on your own rules.  Corporations often act like people swirling around you like a hive mind.  This is what I get for living in a capitalist country.  For the record, I am nowhere near communist.  There is a socialist center on our block.  These days I can fully admit to being the worst kind of anarchist out there.  One that knows better than to fuck with the flow especially when it’s out of my own checking accounts.  There’s two now officially.  I can pay my rent with checks from NASA.  There’s a different little space motif on each one.  If there’s one thing I know a lot about it’s space.  How to give it.  How to take it.  How mosh within it.  And how to hurt somebody’s feelings if they get too close for comfort.

If you ask me what I’m doing with my life these days you probably wouldn’t ask.  Nobody ever does.  Nobody texts me to see if I’m in New York.  I call my parents and let them know I’m safe.  Safe away from people’s outrageous expectations for me.  I flew out to New York on my birthday alone.  I was trying to prove a point to myself.  Who cares and who doesn’t.  It’s great intel if you want to live your life in a space where you are appreciated.  I meet a lot of friendly people while traveling.  People who just smile and accept you for who you are if you are nice and polite.  My block is a lot like that too.  A lot of people are fake nice in the real world when they want something out of you.  Expecting something out of someone is not love.  Like when I go to New York what do I expect out of it?  To breathe for one.  Air is free in America for the time being.  Breathing lately has been very important to me.  I came back to my hotel room Friday evening to find out it was bought out by another company.  I had this huge mess where I had to rekey my room.  There was beefcake security posted outside that was handling crowd control for the concierge.  I took a deep breath and sorted out the situation as best as I could.  Finally got back upstairs at eight and watched American Dad and Family Guy and fell asleep.  Two shows for the record I absolutely fucking hate but enjoy often when I’ve hit the wall lying on my bed in a hotel room alone.  Breathing and pacing is always important for growth.  I’ve run for so many years this much I know.  Plants breathe in reverse or at least improve the air quality.  Plants also need somebody to plant them.  All these things require mindfulness.  I don’t often sit in a yoga pose three hours a day and come up with these witticisms.  Simple effort has taught me most people don’t even try.  They don’t stop and analyze the situation.  They don’t even know where to begin.  They freak out.  They have too may things in their life to deal with.  Ironically my only baggage this trip was a pikachu bag from 7-11.  Since nobody really cares about me on the surface level I just up and leave every two months.  I fall into a different rhythm and become a different sort of person.  None of that would have been possible without the freedom to roam, the freedom to think and the freedom to speak.  Everybody needs their space and room to grow.  And sometimes people grow into each other over time.  You can’t really expect that to happen.  It just does.  There’s probably a deeper reason for it.  There’s far more to it with me than meets the eye.  I promise I will never name a child Megatron.  I promise I’ll be back in New York in October.  I promise a lot of things.  They deliver in the strangest ways.  You can walk any where with love in your heart.  But love takes work if you want it to last.  It’s been a year exactly since it took root in my mind.  I like the space it’s given me to grow.  Sometimes all it takes is taking the time to make room to grow.  However long that takes.  Flight delays and all.  <3 Tim