#I DON'T HAVE MONEY FOR ANY GROCERIES (AS IF THEY'D EVEN BE SAFE HERE!)

[tchotchkez]

WOW! wouldn't you know it!

I finally get into the kitchen to make my ramen... and it's all gone! despite my not having consumed it! 😲❗

gosh, I wonder who could have done such a thing, and then also conveniently left the empty box in the pantry?

(I AM GOING TO SET THEIR ROOM ON FIRE)

[i-need-some-advice-on]

This is long. So, I've always struggled with doing things (just in general) but it has gotten especially bad since I moved out of my house and started living alone. I can't make myself do literally anything.

In the span of 6 months I've been fired from 2 jobs for not working enough, I've made my room actual hell (rotten food and clothes everywhere), I have even been evicted. I had several days or even a week where I had to live without food because I didn't work enough to earn anything and my next paycheck wasn't due soon. Sometimes I would get my money and limp to the grocery store to finally buy food, and I'd faint on the way. I just want to emphasize how bad it got, and why I'm so eager for help.

I vented about some of these things to my friends (leaving out the horrible/financial parts, obviously) and multiple people have said that my condition sounds like executive dysfunction. And some of my friends do have actual ADHD diagnoses, so I think i trust them.

So now i want to get a therapist and talk about this. I want a diagnosis because 1) I can't live like this anymore and I need serious help, and I don't have any irl friends, and 2) I think medication would help me. I will not let employers find out about it, so I'm not in risk of discrimination.

But here's the problem, I have been to therapy before. I had a bad experience. after months of sessions, the psychologist diagnosed me with ASPD and acted really rude and cold towards me, and she stopped seeing me. She acted like all the feelings I had shown all that time were fake and that I was lying to her. I have never been to therapy again and I don't trust it anymore (Btw the titles of psychologist/therapist are interchangeable in my country.) I do believe her diagnosis was real though, I just never lied to her and I felt genuinely safe to tell her about my feelings.

So how do I talk about (potential) adhd with a new therapist without making them realize i also have aspd? I don't want them to find out because I am scared of how they'd react, and they might just stop listening to my executive dysfunction concerns and tell me to get out of their office. But I'm scared that I'll accidentally let something slip. Any ideas? Will the therapist be able to tell if I hide things?

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