#I DID A FUCKING PAINTING LETS GO!!!!!!!!!

[thebibliosphere]

Whenever I post about house stuff there’s always some well meaning people and the occasional vindictive shit head who thinks we didn’t have our home inspected before we bought it.

We did. It passed the private inspection we paid for in order to get our mortgage and two inspections done by the city.

The problem with my house is that it was owned by a landlord who did all kinds of illegal and sketchy shit to maximize capacity and resale value but also would require you to take down walls to find. And for those of you unaware, they don’t let you walk around with a saw and cut holes to inspect behind the drywall.

The shithead hid things behind fake walls. Literally. He put a bunch of chemicals and paints into a crawl space then drywalled over it. There is drywall on top of drywall (or there was before we took it down). He put carpet over the asbestos tiles—which is technically fine. It’s safer to seal asbestos away than remove it… except he also covered the drain for the house so the basement floods and then the carpet rots and in turn starts breaking down the asbestos tiles, making them into a hazard. He built the basement himself so that the drywall was sitting on the concrete slab—something we couldn’t see without removing the trim—causing them to wick moisture from the floor and rot until we had black mold everywhere.

The electric parts that were visible were all up to code, but again, anything that could be hidden was done so, hiding shit like a dishwasher that had been hot wired into the wall through a light plate fixture under the sink. Or the 240v socket that used to power an electric stove which had been pulled through the floorboard to power the tumble dryer. (Or the gas stove that we swapped for electric because it kept trying to kill us and then we realized he’d run a gas pipe from the water heater to power it. The plumber swore a lot about that one when he finally realized that one.)

Plumbing all looked good until you realized some of the new pipes were just pvc cut to go around the old lead pipes. Something you couldn’t see unless you got up close and personal during the inspection, and we’re talking up on a ladder jiggling the pipes around which is also generally something don’t let you do. Not to the extent we would have needed to.

The man was unhinged. And there’s very little we can do about it because we signed an ��as is” thing on our mortgage thinking most of the repairs we’d need to do would be minor. Only to find out the house which looked fairly modern and well kept on the surface was actually a fucking Saw trap. And now because of all the shit we’ve uncovered, we have to fix it before we can sell it because no one in their right mind will buy a house with declared asbestos—even predatory developers hesitate on that one.

So if we’ve got to fix this place up, we’ll fix it up for us because god knows, even if we managed to sell this place, we can’t afford the mortgage rates right now. (And while yes, apartments are an option, they make my MCAS a lot less stable because you can’t control the shit your neighbors use, nevermind things like a shared laundry facility where everyone wants to smell like “a spring summer breeze” that to me smells like death by fragrance induced anaphylaxis.)

So yes, we’re stuck with this place. For now. A place we had inspected multiple times and were still let down by the reality that people hide things and will do so in the most imaginative ways possible if it means they can make a profit.

The furnace dying the instant we moved in wasn’t a good sign, but shit happens. That’s home ownership. The gas leaks we had last week? Also home ownership. It had passed yearly inspections up until now. Appliances break down and require maintenance, especially gas ones. In an ideal world we would have gotten another five years out of the furnace, but alas, it chose death so we had to yeet it.

So, yeah, if you’re the shithead currently going off in my inbox about “stupid people winning stupid prizes” I’ll take that apology now.

[immortalmolloy]

Daniel wanted to deny that anything was wrong. He wanted to pretend it was all okay. He reminded himself that he was supposed to be honest with Mina about how he felt. “Not really,” he admitted quietly. He squeezed her hand lightly,

He was trying to be okay. He was trying to hold himself together. His emotions were such a mess that it was difficult to untangle it all. He was so happy and he loved his life with Mina and Louis and Lestat. This shouldn’t be effecting him so much. He didn’t want it to. He didn’t want to feel these things anymore. He couldn’t use drugs to numb it all. He had no choice but to suffer through it.

His voice was shaky when he spoke. “I can feel him,” he said. When Armand had intense emotions, Daniel felt it. The closer Armand was physically, the more Daniel would feel him. He couldn’t hear Armand’s thoughts, but he didn’t need to. Armand often had intense emotions though he tried to act so composed and in control all the time. When Daniel painted Armand and then left him, it must have stirred up all of Armand’s trauma. Armand was no good alone. He didn’t know who he was when he didn’t have a lover to tell him who he was. Daniel just always had to lob one last bomb before he left, didn’t he? What was he thinking? Why did he always do this? He couldn’t help himself. When he’d detonated Armand and Louis’ relationship it had given him such satisfaction. Armand had told him after ‘it’s your drug. You revel in it.’ Initially Daniel had so much more resentment and anger towards Armand. He didn’t want to hurt him. When he hurt Armand he only hurt himself. And Daniel had grown to see immortality as a gift. Yet, the pain of not having a choice, not being ready for the change, being so scared and so in pain and so manipulated, it was hard to let go of. He didn’t know if he ever would be able to let it go.

Daniel hadn’t meant to hurt Armand this time. He wanted to understand and know Armand. He wanted Armand to know himself. He shouldn’t have pushed. Now he felt the pain Armand was feeling. He felt how distressed he was. He felt Armand’s desperation for him.

“He’s not doing well,” he told Mina. “It fucking hurts.” It felt like his heart was in a vice being squeezed. “I think I fucked up when I went to see him. It’s my fault maybe. I don’t want to feel. I don’t want to feel him.”

Lover. Murderer. Maker. What was Armand to him? Daniel doubted he could ever love Armand truly, but he had a bond with him that went beyond that. He craved Armand even now when he knew what a monster Armand could be. Daniel had always liked dangerous things. He was so fucked up. There was something deep within his soul that ached and only Armand could soothe him. Armand speaking to him so sweetly, Armand praising him, Armand telling him how special and loved he was. He’d fallen too easily into death’s embrace when Armand spoke those gentle words to him. It was pathetic. Louis, Lestat, and Mina were all Daniel should need. He shouldn’t need Armand. Yet, he did. The same way Louis and Lestat continued to be drawn together he was drawn to Armand. He was no better than a moth to flame.

Daniel started to cry, much to his own embarrassment. He was trembling as he hugged Mina tightly, clinging to her. It was hard work processing all of this. It was very complex.

“So, you want to interview vampires, so you?”

[allfortheslay25]

Sorry to that one person who asked about more Milo in my inbox. The ask disappeared and has yet to come back after the draft refused to post so I’ll be posting it just like this.

Hopefully you see it🙏

I should probably mention I wrote this chapter years ago but only adjusted some things at the beginning of the year before January

Milo Future Spoilers

There was nothing like the humidity of South Carolina; damp, sweltering, and mouth drying.

Neil smacked his lips and wiped sweat off the back of his neck. No, nothing like it.

The press of something freezing was soothing for a split second before it was alerting. Neil flinched away from the cold glass bottle Andrew pushed against his neck before taking it.

"Thanks."

Andrew squatted next to him, picking under his armbands to collect the sweat building up under them. Neil stared because Neil liked this pair. A shade of white with the thinnest pair of double orange stripes down the inner forearm. Andrew didn't wear them for much. It didn't go with the silver and gold tone of his uniform nor the black of his wardrobe. He hadn't really put them on since Allison gifted them to him back in 2012.

Andrew took Neil's soda from him after watching the man do little to open the damn thing. He popped off the cap, licking the back before pressing it to Neil's forehead.

Neil quirked up a smile. "It's fresh."

Andrew just turned away with his own drink half done.

"Where the fuck is Nicky? It's boiling out here!" Allison shouted from where she was handing out drinks.

Aaron flicked cooler water at Matt when the man attempted to steal the last lemonade. "Probably got sidetracked talking about Germany again. He acts as if we haven't been caught up with him in the last week."

Kevin rattled the doors like a madman. "Let me in.

We're right here, let me in!"

It would have been hilarious, enough to bring smiles and teasing from the old Foxes. But recently, with Kevin's publicized relapse and his alleged divorce from Thea, well, no one was laughing at Kevin these days.

The outer court walls had seen better days too.

The orange paint had faded to a yellow hue, chipped and dusty with tagging unwashed at the corners. Neil knew the Palmetto Foxes had been on a fortunate rise and he knew sometime after his leave did it begin to fall apart. Wymack bit off more than he could chew, they said. Too many scandals, too many suicides and murders, too many delinquents being allowed on a court. But Neil supposes they did well enough to keep those doors open another year.

Neil's drink was promptly swiped from his hands, the culprit? His son, Milo.

"If you're not gonna drink it at least don't let it go hot."

Neil squinted up at the boy. He did that standing too. Milo had hit puberty and outgrew Neil sometime between 12 and 13, but then the growing never stopped. He stood now, at an even 6ft with no chance of finishing his growth spurt.

Lanky and awkward teenage limbs, freckled and messy haired, Milo somehow stopped looking like Neil. Everyone always says his baby face is nostalgic to first year Neil Josten, but if you put the pictures side by side, Milo always had something Neil didn't. There was a sharpness to him, something he couldn't hide better than Neil.

"Kevin, stop playing with the doors, you'll break them." Renee chastised. It was a miracle to have her here with them in the flesh at all. She spent most of their reunions on video chat with low internet. "I'm sure Coach will be here soon with the keys."

Milo, soda long finished, turned to Kevin with an otter pop between his teeth. "Does it bother you that much?" He mumbled.

Kevin let go of the doors with reluctance. "No... I just... I want to see it already."

Milo hummed around his treat before standing and marching over to the doors. He hip checked Kevin—an eerie sight as they stood head to head in height—and pulled something from his pocket.

Milo fiddled with the fence and it sprung open.

The Old Foxes stared in disbelief.

"You had the keys the whole time? Milo!" Dan said.

Milo shrugged, displaying a paperclip and a hairpin. He shoved the fence out the way and marched on to the doors he'd need a code for. As Milo fooled around with it, the Foxes all turned to Neil with faces of amusement and exasperation.

"He's your son alright." They said.

"Little Josten."

"Little Monster." They all cooed.

"That's 'Little Minyard-Josten' to you." Milo announced before punching a button on the door.

It beeped and clicked and Milo turned the handle to allow everyone inside.

"How did you know the code!?" Kevin wondered.

"They just had a baby, no?" Milo pointed out. "It's always been someone's birthday."

The foyer was almost the same as they'd all last seen it. Orange benches were set here and there, and the floor was white tile with orange paw prints. Orange cones were stacked in a corner, three deep and six high. A white door was on the wall to their right, and an orange door was opposite them. Only difference was there was a crack in the wall no one patched up, and the white tiles had muddled down to a moppy grey.

Milo moved past it to the gear closet. As the Old Foxes looked around and chatted about memories a decade old, Milo had suited up and stolen a racquet.

"Should we let him keep doing that?" Allison muttered to the rest.

"Leave him be, this is the most excited we've seen him since before the B R E A K U P call." Dan whispered.

"You know he can spell faster than us, right?"

Aaron whispered back.

"And you know you're a bad whisperer, right?"

Matt countered.

"Cousins!" Anything Aaron was about to say was cut off by Nicky's loud arrival. He raced towards Aaron and Andrew, bringing them into tight squeezes despite the twos wriggling.

Neil smiled because it'd been three years since Andrew had told Nicky he could hug him without asking. Andrew sometimes snapped that he was sick of it, but Andrew had also told Neil years ago that he didn't do regret.

Nicky let out a sharp gasp from his position in hugging Neil. He all but shoved the man into Matt before springing himself onto Milo. "My baby nephew! You've gotten so big! Last time I saw you you were definitely a head shorter! What are they feeding you? Is it Kevin's diet?"

Milo smiled and hugged Nicky as hard as he could despite the pads. "A mix of junk food and Kevin's dietary plan I only follow when I'm bored."

Kevin sent him a glare for that but went back to finding proper gear without a word.

"How did any of you get inside?" Wymack wondered gruffly. Standing in the flesh, was their beloved coach who hadn't seemed to age a day in their eyes. The only thing new was the baby attached to his chest.

Everyone flooded his space in an instant, cooing and awing at the little infant with orange bows in her curly hair. It was a shame Kevin had to be the one to tell them Wymack and Abby were having a baby. He was too excited to remember they wanted to surprise everyone. Sarah was adopted by them as soon as she'd been born, the baby of a previous Fox who didn't want children. None of them knew her from anything other than the tabloids that printed her face everywhere on Exy news the week after her discharge from the hospital. She dropped out of Palmetto soon after and was in the wind before Wymack and Abby could say goodbye.

"Okay you animals, get your diseased faces out of my baby's face. And Kevin, get your face out that closet and hug me dammit."

Kevin paused from where he was pulling a pair of gloves out of the gear closet to sheepishly shuffle over to his father.

"Where's Abby?" Kevin asked as he smiled at

Sarah's squinty face.

"Napping. She wanted to come by but I told her we'd be here all day and she can stop by when she's had at least an hour of sleep." Wymack said.

He tossed the court keys at Neil who used them to unlock all of the doors inside.

Before anyone finished dressing, Jeremy Knox and Jean Moreau knocked on the locker room doors. This reunion was special, a chance for Jean to see Renee, and Jeremy to see Kevin in an act of support in these dire times.

Having so many professional exy stars in one room felt charged in a way. Kevin seemed ready to cream his pants, or so Andrew commented.

Jeremy looked good in orange and Jean looked like he'd rather do the scrimmage naked. But Neil only had eyes for Andrew whose old uniform stretched on him like a wet dream.

"Can you even play like that?" Aaron smirked, silently laughing at Andrew's predicament. Aaron hadn't been on his college grind in so long, he'd lost muscle mass but gained a healthy weight that his uniform fit almost perfectly.

Andrew silently knocked Aaron on the shoulder with his racquet and clicked his tongue at the weight of it. Neil understood the feeling. Their old racquets were like feathers, Neil wasn't sure he could play with something so lightweight.

Milo was setting up cones and baskets of exy balls with cheerfulness. He was running around the court with a giddiness that rubbed off onto everyone else.

"Don't forget to stretch," Kevin reminded him.

Milo turned and threw his body into a bridge position before resting into a handstand.

"Show off." Kevin grumbled as Jeremy laughed.

Milo properly stretched afterward, first to finish as he picked up the basket of exy balls.

"I wanna show you something. Miss Renee, may you take the goal for me?" Milo asked.

“My pleasure,” Renee said with a smile. She gave Andrew a friendly pat on the shoulder and took her place in the goal.

“We don’t have all day, Milo.” Kevin complained.

“Let him do what he wants, it’s his first game playing with us.” Dan said.

“My first game playing with you guys was actually in the morning of July 14th, 2006. It was my ‘Unbirthday’ as uncle Nicky put it and Matt knocked me onto my back.” Milo said as he got into position.

“You can’t count that as a real game.” Kevin said.

Milo smiled over his shoulder, one of the ones that made the Foxes refer to him as ‘Little Monster’ at times. “Shut up, Day, and watch this.”

He looked back at Renee who nodded at him and got into position. The stance was loose but almost as sturdy as it’d been all those years ago. Milo took up a ball and tossed it to her lightly, allowing her to hit it back far enough he’d have to chase it down the court. And Milo did. He didn’t want to see where it was headed. With bullet-like speed he took off, throwing himself from the wall, flying down the court before anyone could do much as turn their heads. The ball hit a far wall and came back. Milo jumped, snatching it from the air and landing on his left foot before propelling himself forward. He made light work of the cones and within 10 steps, scored on Renee. Neil didn’t know why but when Milo had taken the ball, he waited for a pass to someone who wasn’t there. It itched at his brain in a familiarity he couldn’t place.

Andrew narrowed his eyes before his mouth quirked into one of his amused expressions.

“What?” Neil wondered a little too loud.

“He’s just doing the most for no reason.” Kevin interrupted.

“He just mimicked Neil’s exact play his first time at a Fox match.” Andrew corrected.

Everyone turned to him in confusion.

Neil looked back, running it through his head but that game had been so long ago he didn’t remember.

Dan's eyes lit up, though. “He passed to me. Neil, you did that same jump thing your first game—back when Seth was taken off and you made your debut. You passed to me because someone was on your ass.”

“There’s no way. We can’t even remember it clearly. No one can say for sure.” Allison said.

Andrew tapped his temple. “I can. Memory like a steel trap, I never took my eyes off him. I’m the one who passed the ball to Neil.”

“It’s a fluke.” Kevin said.

Milo whistled at them to get everyone’s attention. “I’m not finished.” He tossed another ball to Renee. “I’ll call it for you this time; Seth Gordon 2006.” Milo changed the grip on his racquet, hands lower as his fingers gesture higher. He straightened his back and ran a few seconds after the ball flew, watching it with his eyes and racing at a slower yet more desperate pace. Once he’d caught it, he whipped it over his shoulder with such speed and strength, it nearly clipped Renee on the shoulder.

“There’s no way to guarantee that.” Kevin hissed.

Milo tossed another ball and cocked his head at Kevin. “Really? Let’s get more famous. Let’s see…” Milo tapped the button of his racquet against the floor and passed his stick to his left hand and the movement was so specific, Jean and the Foxes straightened in disbelief. “Kevin Day, 2007.” Milo called, once again changing his posture. The ball went and Milo moved, catching it and weaving around cones with such single mindedness it was breathtaking. Renee was serious now as she waited, eager to stop Milo but incapable of accomplishing it. The ball whistled past her ear and the Foxes roared in incredulous excitement.

“Join me, will you, Mister Knox?” Milo asked.

Jeremy smirked and followed onto the court. He attempted to take up a backliner position but Milo moved him into the striker mark. He passed a ball to Jeremy and motioned for him to continue. The Foxes readied for whatever trick Milo held up his sleeve next. He moved his racquet back to his right and hunched his shoulders a bit in a way that left him open for injury. Jeremy moved to get past him and Milo hooked his foot around his and sent him stumbling. Milo then yanked his stick out of his unassuming hands with a simple twist, stealing the ball and sending it across the court to be slammed into the goal wall.

“Jean Moreau, 2005.” Milo said. Jeremy was on his ass behind him, clutching his wrist in surprise.

“That was a dirty move. I had so much faith in you.”

Milo gave him his racquet, using it to pull Jeremy to his feet. “You were expecting Jean-Yvves Moreau, 2009. But I like surprises.”

Jean frowned from his place by the Foxes. “That move is long dead. You can hurt someone with it.”

Milo held up Jeremy’s arm by the elbow, waving it at Jean. “He’s all in one piece. Now I’ve got something special for you all. Get on the court, Miss Renee, Drew, you may wait for my last demonstration off to the side.

As they all took their marks, not for a scrimmage but for shooting on the goal, Milo sauntered onto Renee’s place, tossing his racquet for hers. He spun it around and moved his hands before crouching and staring them down the court. Even with the helmet over his eyes, there was an intensity that boiled the cool air into something claustrophobic to the group. No one had to guess who Milo was mimicking now, but he still called out to them.

“Andrew Minyard, 2016.”

Neil got first dibs as he was the first to line up. He moved past Nicky and shot at the goal with a ferocity he saved for real matches. The deafening crack that boomed through the space as Milo’s racquet connected with the ball made everyone flinch in their spots. The ball sailed through the air like a jet before smacking into the other goal.

“There’s no way you did that!” Nicky screamed.

“That’s Andrew’s move. Do you know how many goalies have attempted to replicate that and succeeded?” Kevin shouted. “Eight! Only six have accomplished it in all exy history!”

“Seven, counting me.” Milo said, tossing the racquet over his shoulder. “But if I’m truly honest, I wouldn’t be able to do it again as accurately. Especially during an intense game. I’ve practiced your moves since I could hold a racquet and I've mastered your techniques in less years than you’ve all been playing. But Drew’s moves are special.”

Kevin was still staring at the ball across the court. “We need that tape. Get us that tape. You’ll need to show it to recruiters—”

“Slow down, Kevin.” Jeremy said.

“You’re turning red.” Jean said.

Kevin seemed close to fainting. When he’d had some water and Wymack promised to send him the security tape, they all got their chance to shoot on Milo who didn’t allow a single one through. After the showboating, they played a real scrimmage. Whoever won got to play with Milo next and even as Kevin lost thrice in a row, he never stopped his giddy chatter about the places Milo would go and the changes he’d bring to the sport.

[enhani-ki]

love at twenties ? - reader x ni-ki

warnings : suggestive content, explicit language, etc.

note : you can also read [snitch] first before reading this.

for all the years you've known each other, ni-ki likes to say the dumbest things just to see you smile. he would always do shit in because he knew that would make you playfully hit his arm, and shake your head at him, or you would struggle to hold back your giggles.

and if there's one very specific moment when he realized he has feelings for you, it had to be the day you showed up at his house wearing those tiny little shorts.

you're comfortable, legs were stretched out on their couch, smooth and toned, really impossible for anyone not to look. your toes were painted red, tapping on the cushion, and for some reason, it made his throat feel tight.

sure, he likes to make everyone comfortable and laugh with him but he also knew now that you weren't just his friend or his sister's best friend.

now, you've... grown.

he didn't know what to do with that realization 'cause he had always been a little shy to you.

he would always ask his sister first if she had eaten, just so it wouldn't be too obvious that he really wanted to know if you also ate already or he would buy snacks if he knew you'd be around, ones they didn't even like. "i don't eat these," his sister would pout. while you're there, eyes lighting up in excitement. ni-ki will smile slightly, knowing exactly they were all your favorites.

he needed for you to notice him.

he started being annoying. he would poke you, cutting into your conversations or blasting really loud music, and just kept trying to get a reaction from you in any way possible.

and to him, you probably thought he was just being a brat or something like an emo teenager. you would sigh, pout, or roll your eyes every time, maybe shove him away sometimes. even with all his antics, you were so nice and patient with him.

you would mess up his hair, brush him off, and you would even kiss his cheek when you're about to leave and go home.

as he age, his body started going through a lot of changes, he grew taller. way taller than you, taller than his sister, just taller than everyone.

his voice also got deeper, his shoulders broadened, and he started to feel like what he always wanted to look like too, but unfortunately for him, it also changed the way you've treated the younger friend.

you don't kiss his cheeks anymore, you don't include him in girls conversations like you used to, you became more careful and you don't seem... nice to ni-ki anymore...

"you're too dumb to enter a beauty pageant," he teased.

you rolled your eyes. "i wasn't even gonna join, i was just voted, you dumbass!"

...oh did he mention that you're also fighting back now too?

but to be fair, you're only treating him different not because of the changes in his appearance, it was also because ni-ki had started making jokes about fucki- uhh sex, and couple other horny stuff.

hello? he's not the only one going through changes, you're growing and you also have those raging hormones too! so every time he's making those jokes, your heart-brain just can't and won't stop going crazy.

and fuck, this is your childhood friend. not to mention, your best friend's brother.

one day, he saw you washing dishes, standing by the sink, and completely unaware of him.

his sister was nowhere to be found so it's just you, wearing a sundress where the hem keeps riding up your thighs every time you move.

ni-ki grinned before leaning against the kitchen counter, just watching you quietly.

oh, thank you God, thank you for whoever invented dresses. it was so short, if he just kneel down, he could peek and see—just a little.

watching your back, he kinda wanted to know what it would feel like if he hugged you on your waist, what if you just let him put his big hands all over you the way he always imagined late at night, alone in his room...

ni-ki bit his lip, then you turned around and jumped, startled.

he saw your boobs bounced when you did-

"you freaking scared me…" you breathed, pressing a hand to your chest.

he raised his brow at you, his face doesn't even look scary.

you frowned slightly. "you need something?"

yes, you but "just… water," is what he muttered instead.

you nodded before glancing at your watch. "i gotta go."

"where are you going?"

"just a date."

ni-ki straightened up immediately and furrowed his brows. "with who?!"

he suddenly didn't want a water anymore.

"huh?" you asked, confused on why he's asking.

"who?" he repeated.

"with the one yo-" you barely got the few words out before he cut you off with:

"who cares?"

later that night, you had to call ni-ki because his sister wasn't answering, probably asleep. you can't just go home drunk so you came back to their house, a little tipsy, he was the one who opened the door.

you lost your balance, and stumbled forward, straight right into his arms.

his hands caught your waist to steady you. your body is pressed against his, it's warm and dizzying but somehow you can't stop giggling in his arms.

ni-ki scoffed after, then smiled as he held you tighter. he asked, "why did you drink?" trying to sound like he was irritated.

you hushed him with a finger to his lips. "shhh. i don't wanna hear your shit."

he sighed, guiding you inside without letting go, walking with you towards the couch where you plopped holding his wrist, just trying and keeping him close.

he put your legs, his favorite legs, on his lap.

you tipped back your head slightly to rest, the tie of the dress slipped off your shoulder, so ni-ki reached out automatically to fix the strap.

"do i look good today?" you asked suddenly.

"…yes," he admitted quietly, "you probably heard that a lot of times today…"

"i did." you smirked, leaning against his arm.

"so why'd you even ask me?" he murmured.

you blinked at him, slow and heavy-lidded. "ju- just to make sure."

just to make sure you actually look good? or just to make sure he knows you look good?

"what if i'm lying?"

"well..." you hummed, smirking, "you're a kid, so-"

"i'm not." he said before pulling you closer. "and fucking stop treating me like one."

"what? now you suddenly wanna be a man or something?" you tilted your head and gave him a naughty smile. you like to tease him even when you're just a bit older than him. "cause you're not-"

he chuckled in disbelief, pressing his tongue against the inside of his cheek before saying, "oh, y/n..." shaking his head, "you know i'll let you check just how big i've gotten,"

he was serious, both of you were just looking into each other's eyes, faces moving closer and closer together, but then his sister suddenly appeared, rubbing her eyes. "what are you guys doing?" she yawned.

you pulled back, making ni-ki roll his eyes in annoyance.

you looked at him for a moment before standing up without a word, and as you walked away, ni-ki straightened up, his eyes following your figure. he tried to call you out, trying to get you to finish what you've started but you just ignored him.

and when you finally acknowledged your feelings for him, he became unstoppable, he did all the things he always wanted, but still remainedーno, he became even more respectful to his sister.

he didn't barge into your conversations anymore, didn't stay when you wanted spend time with her, he gave you space, and let you have your moments without him but when his sister is not around, he would text you:

(•ө•)♡: come here :p

(•ө•)♡: gimme a kiss

(•ө•)♡: please, i miss you

and would pull you into his room just to make out very quick.

"we should really go somewhere just the two of us." he panted.

"do you wanna go to my place or should we book...?"

he kissed you, "okay, let's do both." before letting you go like nothing happened.

and the first and only time you ever fought is when he thought you weren't claiming him.

like that one valentine's day... he went all out and bought you every single gift that girls were gettingーbig flowers, chocolate, jewelry, red dress, bedroom and those fancy bath with rose petals...

he thought you would love it.

and yeah, you didn't post any of it in your stories.

he was watching everyone else's but he couldn't find yours. it's okay not to post him actually, but at least show everyone else that you're also being appreciated by your, according to his words: "secret" boyfriend, so he just sulked.

but then he saw that you have his selfie as your wallpaper, his polaroid picture on the back of your phone case, his small ID picture in your wallet and on the back of your school/work id... it made him stop moping...

"daisuki."

ni-ki's eyes widened slightly for a while, then smiled slightly as he wrapped his arm on you. he kept hugging you like a baby, burying his face on your neck. "can you say it one more time?"

"riki, daisuki," you smiled. "i said it correctly, right?"

he pressed his lips together in an effort to contain his grin because you said it so cutely that his heart started aching. "yes..." he nodded, "daisuki."

you both kept saying it back and forth with your voices getting softer and softer. giggles slipped in between, until you finally burst into laughter, all while leaning into each other.

he's so naturally funny, he would open those hard-closed lids for you because he's strong, send you songs and you'll create playlists, just listening to all of what he likes/recommended only...

you rested your chin on his shoulder, ni-ki grabbed your hands, intertwining his fingers with yours before wrapping them snugly around himself.

then you decided to bring ni-ki along to one of your family gatherings.

they whispered among themselves, their eyes kept darting between you and him like you're their newfound curiosity as you walked with each other. his sharp features and towering height made everyone murmur in surprise. "such a fine young man." they said as they swarmed him, asking questions, and forgot you're their actual kin.

so you left him there, sorry, rikiーjust for a breather.

you wandered inside the house, searching for somewhere quiet. you spotted your favorite baby nephew sitting on the couch, watching kids show. he's so cute so you wasted no time pulling him into a hug. "you missed me?"

but ni-ki found you right away and sat next to you too. "yo," he greeted, grabbed your nephew's attention with a soft smile.

the kid's face lit up after seeing a very cool uncle.

he was giggling then started rambling, telling ni-ki all about his school, his favorite cartoons, and the "secret" adventure he and his friends had.

your boyfriend listened and nodded attentively. he actually loves kids, maybe a little bit more than you do.

you pouted unintentionally and held ni-ki's arm.

so you were met with a coldest stare out of nowhere, you blinked, confused. "oh? what's wrong?"

your nephew's face scrunched up, ni-ki playfully glared at you too like, why are you teasing him? tapping on your thigh lightly.

you didn't backed down, "but he is mine!" you continued, he raised a tiny fist and threatened to swing at you so you tugged your boyfriend's arm again, dramatically bickering with the kid, "go find someone else!"

you argued with your nephew while ni-ki watched and laughed, completely adoring his girl—maybe, just maybe even wondering what his own would look like one day.

in the end, you sighed, holding your hands up in surrender. "okay, okay. i'm sorry, bro. my bad."

the little guy gave you one last suspicious look before accepting your apology.

you moved behind your boyfriend, wrapping your arms around his waist as you cuddled into his back. your nephew went back into his arms too, continuing his story as if nothing happened.

you buried your face in ni-ki's shoulder and whispered, "me next, okay?"

"love you."

more notes : can't believe i just made a part two of my favorite fluff, snitch [here] song is still replay - shinee ^^

check : マスターリストm.list

taglist 𖤘: @dolliewon @ziiao @17ericas

[glossypolaroidkisses]

Blue body paint Luigi…

word count: 1.6k

"Now, what the— How the fuck—"

Luigi twists and turns, his back facing the mirror as he tries to coat the last unpainted stretch of his skin in blue. He groans loudly in the living room, contorting his body in an attempt to get the brush to the middle of his back.

"Fuck," he mutters, struggling.

You roll backward in your desk chair, out of your room and into the common area.

"You good?" you ask, startling him.

"Shit—"

"Oh— Sorry, I thought you knew I was here."

Luigi exhales, catching his breath. "I thought you were already at the rally with Cassy. You're good."

"No, I stayed back to study. Sorry, Lu."

"You're good, you're good." He cracks a light smile.

Luigi is your roommate, along with two others. Your best friend, Cassy, is Luigi's best friend's sister. Before Penn, you and Cassy were dead set on rooming together. Her brother, Sam, mentioned he was looking into an apartment-style dorm with his best friend, Luigi, and now the four of you rent it together. Cassy and Sam are siblings, you and Luigi are their best friends. You and Luigi are friends and roommates to each other, but nothing more.

"You need help, though? I just heard you huffing and puffing."

Luigi chuckles, rolling his eyes. "Huffing and puffing, damn." He hesitates. "To be honest, yeah. This paint..." His words trail off into a sigh, admitting defeat.

"School spirit, am I right?" you say sarcastically, getting up and walking over.

Luigi laughs. "Yeah, yeah."

"Everything good?" you ask, noticing his short, semi-awkward answers.

"..Yeah, it's just all this twisting and turning..." He gestures to his lower back. "Y'know, spondy."

"Right, right." You sigh before holding out a hand. "Brush?"

He hands it over, and you step onto the towel he laid out. "You're such a nerd."

"For cleaning precautions? Do you want to scrape blue paint out of tile grout?"

You laugh. "Absolutely not."

"Exactly."

You shake your head, about to start painting, but then you pause. Up close, his back is broader than you realized, his physique stronger.

"Everything alright?" Luigi asks, noticing.

"Yeah... yeah," you chuckle awkwardly, brushing it off. Of course you've always known Luigi was attractive—anyone with eyes does—but you've always shrugged it off. No point in stirring up drama between roommates or complicating things with your best friends. Besides, you're all swamped with school 90% of the time anyway.

"Wait, wait. Before I get my hands dirty, do you want Advil for your spondy?" you ask.

Luigi chuckles.

"What?" you ask. "Did I say it wrong? Not cool enough for the medical slang?"

"No, no. It was just cute, the way you said it. I've never heard you say it before." He moves on quickly. "Uhh, yeah, actually. Thanks. I would get it, but—" He gestures to his feet.

"You fucking painted the bottom of your feet?" you ask.

"Well, no... but close enough. I'm scared to leave my towel island."

You giggle, shaking your head as you search through the medicine cabinet. "Holy shit, didn't know you're a druggie, Luigi."

He laughs. "Yeah, my back is a real addict."

"If any of these go missing, I definitely didn't sell them for noodle money."

"Honestly, a couple of those pills could probably get you about forty packs of instant noodles."

"I want the good stuff, y'know, Huang's Noodle House?" You close your eyes dramatically at the thought of your favourite spot.

"I didn't know you like Huang's." Luigi sounds genuinely interested. "We should go."

"Yeah, and Cassy and Sam—"

"Ehh, Sam doesn't really like noodles."

"Oh. Then Cassy... I'm not sure if she does, actually."

Luigi hums in thought. "We could just go, then." His voice is casual, but something about it lingers.

You pause, fingers wrapped around the Advil bottle. Then, shaking it lightly, you ask, "Is that an invitation?"

Luigi glances over his shoulder, smirking. "Only if you wanna go. Otherwise, you heard nothing."

You let out a small laugh, trying to ignore the way your stomach flips at the idea of going to Huang's alone with him. This is just food. Just noodles. Just roommates grabbing a bite.

"Why not?.." you say, tossing the bottle toward him. He catches it in one hand, shakes two pills out, and dry swallows them. "...If you're paying." you add. Luigi huffs a laugh. "Wow. First, you steal my drugs, now my money?"

"Roommate tax." You tap the paintbrush against your palm. "Alright, turn."

He shifts carefully, and you notice how aware he is of his movements. Cassy told you about his back, and while he never complains much, you've caught him stretching, adjusting his posture, rolling his shoulders when he thinks no one's looking.

Your eyes flicker down his back as you dip the brush into the blue paint. His broad shoulders. The way his muscles shift under his skin. The sharp, clean lines of his shoulder blades.

This is fine. Totally normal. Just painting your roommate blue.

You start with broad strokes, trying to be quick but even.

"How the hell did you do this last year?"

"Badly."

You laugh. "Why do you even do this?"

"Sam and I started first year, a few frat guys joined in, and now it's tradition. Plus, we always get free drinks."

"Ah, so it's a scam."

He grins. "A hundred percent."

You keep painting, working your way down his spine. His skin is warm under the paintbrush, and you have to focus hard to keep your strokes even.

"You're really dedicated to school spirit for someone who called our mascot 'a corporate sellout' last week."

Luigi laughs. "I stand by that. He's got three sponsorships, that's insane."

You shake your head. "Alright, turn a little, I gotta get this side." You tap his ribs lightly, and he follows your instruction. The movement draws your eyes to his jaw—strong, slightly stubbled.

You swallow.

What the fuck have I gotten myself into?

"So," he says lightly, "what were you studying?"

"Just some readings. Hard to focus."

"Yeah?" He smirks. "Because I'm here, or because you're thinking about noodles?"

You press the brush into his shoulder a little harder.

"Ow." He winces dramatically. "Abuse."

You snort. "You're literally covered in paint and complaining about a brushstroke?"

"Look, I'm delicate."

"You're insufferable."

He laughs, and you try to ignore the way your stomach flips again. You sigh, pulling back. "This brush is too small."

Luigi smirks. "You calling me fat?"

Your eyes widen. "What? No, you're just—" You pause. "Big."

Luigi blinks. "What?"

"Like... broad."

His smirk deepens. "You think I'm broad?"

You roll your eyes. "Objectively."

He chuckles, stretching slightly. "Use your hands. Might be easier."

Your hands?

You stare at his back for a second like it's suddenly an entirely different thing.

This is fine. Totally normal. Just painting your friend blue. With your hands.

Right.

"Okay," you say, a little too quickly, setting the brush down. You press your palms into the cool paint, spreading it across his back in slow, deliberate strokes. The texture is strange—thick, slightly tacky as it glides over his skin—but what gets you more is the warmth beneath it. His muscles shift slightly under your touch, solid and strong, and you have to focus hard to keep your movements steady. You let your hands glide from his upper back to his lower, fingers spreading the paint in slow strokes.

Luigi exhales, deep and slow. "You're being so gentle." His voice is teasing, but there's something else underneath it—something softer.

"I don't want to hurt you," you murmur. "Your back—"

"You're not hurting me." A pause. Then, with a slight turn of his head, he grins. "It's actually really nice."

You swallow, pressing your fingers into the dips of his shoulder blades, blending the paint with smooth, even pressure. The moment stretches, quieter now, filled only by the soft sound of your hands working over his skin. His breathing is steady, slow, like he's letting himself relax into it.

You clear your throat, "Well, I'm almost done. Just gotta make sure it's even."

Luigi hums in response, tilting his head slightly like he's considering something. "You're really good at this."

You scoff. "What, painting?"

He smirks. "Ever considered a career in body painting?"

You roll your eyes. "Didn't you know? That's why I'm at Penn."

His chuckle is low and warm, and you can't help but smile as you take a step back, running your eyes over your work. The blue paint covers his back smoothly, deep and even, accentuating the defined lines of his shoulders and spine.

"What do you think?" you ask.

Luigi twists slightly to check his reflection in the nearby mirror. "Damn," he smirks, flexing his arms just a little. "I look clean."

You roll your eyes but laugh. "Alright, you need help with anything else?"

He catches your gaze in the mirror, his smirk softening just slightly. "Nah, you've done enough. Seriously—thanks."

You wave a hand dismissively, suddenly feeling warm. "Yeah, yeah. Go win the school spirit award and drink cheap beer, or whatever."

Luigi snorts, then—before you can react—reaches over and swipes a blue-painted finger across your cheek.

"Hey—!" You gasp, stepping back as he grins mischievously.

"Oops," he says, absolutely not sounding sorry.

You narrow your eyes, pointing a warning finger at him. "You're dead."

Luigi just winks, stepping carefully off his towel island. "Catch me after the rally, then."

And with that, he grabs his shoes, flashes you one last playful grin, and heads out the door—leaving you standing there, heart pounding, with a blue streak on your face and a whole lot of thoughts you probably shouldn't be having.

part 2?😇😇

tag list 🏷️ my loves ⋆ ˚｡⋆୨୧˚ @cherrysolo @slavicdolls4mangione @iinfinitelimits @poohkie90 @luweegeeswifey @number1yearner @noname123sposts @straw8berry @lavenderbabyyy @littlestl4mb @amoungusbartholo (lmk if u wanna be added or removed xx)

[dckweed]

tiktok made me do it!gf vs deployed tf141 bf

hey friends :) it would be much appreciated if you helped me earn some extra money, without even giving me any of your own (you could even sign up and earn some yourself!) by clicking this link!

Your boyfriend is one of the most highly trained, battle-hardened soldiers on the planet. His dog? The meanest, toughest, most well-trained Rottweiler you've ever seen.

And now? That same terrifying dog is currently under your care, with specific instructions NOT to spoil them…you can listen to the most basics of asks, right?

RIGHT?!?

Captain Price – "a Disney character"

Price kneels beside Ruby, scratching behind her ears one last time before he has to leave. His hand lingers on her thick fur, and his usually steady, commanding voice softens. "You take care of her, girl."*

Ruby lets out a soft chuff, pressing her head into his palm.

You sniffle. "I promise I’ll take good care of her, John."

He stands, turning to you. "I know you will, love. Just don’t—“He pauses, his brows furrowing. "Don’t go doin’ anythin’ weird with her, alright?"

You tilt your head. "Define weird."

He squints. "You know what I mean."

You absolutely did not.

One week later.

You send the first picture.

A delicate, pink tutu around Ruby’s waist. Light-up fairy wings strapped to her back. Her nails painted a perfectly coordinated shade of pink.

The best part?

She looks proud as hell.

Your phone immediately pings.

Price: The fuck is this, sweetheart?

You send another one. This time, Ruby is lounging on her brand new, overly expensive luxury dog bed, wearing a tiny princess crown.

Price: I leave her with ye for one fuckin’ week and she’s already been turned into a bloody Disney character?!

You: Oh hush, she loves it. Look at her face!

Price groans so loudly that his whole unit hears it. Soap leans over, sees the picture, and wheezes. "Aw, hell, Price. She's fuckin' royalty now."

Ghost, glancing over: "She looks happier than you do when your girl spoils you."

Price rubs his temples. "You're all bloody useless."

A week later, he receives a handwritten letter along with another photo—this time, of a handmade scarf for Ruby.

He stares at the picture, sighs, and mutters under his breath: "Jesus Christ, she’s turned my guard dog into a bloody princess."

Ruby is a princess.

And when he gets back? She refuses to go anywhere without her tutu.

Kyle "Gaz" Garrick – "Super Hank, Defender of Snacks"

"Alright, Hank, you be good for her, yeah?" Gaz kneels down, ruffling his dog's fur. Hank wags his tail, panting happily.

You pat his head. "Oh, don’t worry, babe. We’ll be fine."

Kyle gives you a suspicious look. "Why do I feel like you’re about to do some shit?"

You grin. "Define shit."

He sighs. "I hate that response."

Two weeks later.

Gaz finally gets phone service and opens his messages.

The first thing he sees?

A picture of Hank, sitting like a goddamn superhero, wearing a full custom-made Superman cape.

The second picture? Hank in a full Batman outfit.

The third? A custom graphic that says: "HANK, DEFENDER OF SNACKS!"

Gaz: BABY WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO MY DOG?

You: Enhanced him.

Gaz nearly breaks his phone. "Oh my fucking God, she’s turned my damn dog into a cosplayer."

Soap, seeing the pictures: "I dunno, mate. He looks pretty fuckin’ heroic."

Ghost, from somewhere in the distance, voice full of humor. “More capable than you, probably."

Gaz groans. "I hate all of you."

Simon "Ghost" Riley – "for you and boy!"

Ghost stares at you, his hands resting on his hips. "You sure you’ll be alright with him?" Goodbyes always were a little cold and distant with him, a little awkward. This was no different, even though you’d been through many of them work him.

Boy sits beside him, posture perfect, eyes watchful.

You roll your eyes. "Yes, Simon. I think I can handle a dog."

Ghost hums. "Alright. Just—" He looks at Boy. "Don’t let her turn you soft, mate."

Boy wags his tail. Simon plants a fat slobbery goodbye kiss on you and smacks your ass before heading out, duffel in his hand.

A month later.

Ghost finally gets service.

And he immediately regrets it.

The first picture? Boy, wrapped in a crocheted sweater—one that matches a homemade balaclava clearly mid crochet.

The second? Boy, completely limp, letting you hold him like a baby.

The third? A handwritten letter, along with a hand-knitted balaclava for Ghost.

Ghost: What the fuck is this, love?

You: A little gift for you and Boy! He wears his ALL the time. He loves it!

Ghost stares.

Soap sees the picture and immediately loses it. "NO FUCKIN’ WAY. SHE KNITTED YE A BLOODY BALACLAVA?"

Ghost grumbles, but when he next goes on deployment?

He proudly wears the balaclava.

Johnny "Soap" MacTavish – "don’t let him get fat"

Soap kneels, ruffling Bubkiss’s fur. "A’right, old man, be good, yeah?"

Bubkiss lazily blinks up at him.

Soap turns to you. "Babe, don’t let him get too fat while I’m gone."

You scoff. "Me? Never." He looks at you. “Hey, you know im on that new workout thing, he and i are gonna go running every morning..”

“Aye, i know all about you and yer workout things.” Soap says, barely dodging the smack you aim at his shoulder.

Three weeks later.

Soap finally gets a video message.

It’s Bubkiss.

On your couch, under a heated blanket, eating a fucking steak.

Soap: Babe, the fuck is this?

You: Luxury.

Soap groans into his hands. "She’s ruined him. She’s fuckin’ RUINED HIM."

The next picture? Bubkiss, fully tucked into bed.

Soap grits his teeth. "I leave for one month, and you replace me with my own damn dog?*"

Gaz, barely holding in his cackles: "Look at him, mate. He’s got your spot and everything."

Soap glares at the picture. "I hate this."*

When he gets back? Bubkiss refuses to leave your side.

Soap groans. "I’ve lost me fuckin’ girlfriend to me fuckin’ dog." The first night home was spent staring at the ceiling from the bedroom floor, bubkiss snoring up above him. He spent hours plotting revenge on his own dog until he finally had enough and got up, pulling the duvet back, scooping the massive dog in his arms before dumping him on the floor before climbing into bed next to you, grumbling all the while.

MORAL OF THE STORY

maybe you couldn’t follow instructions after all..

[californiaahunny]

Hiii, loved your slash fic! Saw the requests open, may I ask for something similar with either duff or izzy? anything you prefer to be honest <3

your girl , izzy stradlin x fem!reader

call me late if you wanna get high

☆ summary: song writing isn’t the most effortless process but time with your guitarist is

☆ warnings: 18+ content, mdni. smoking. suggestive content but more on the fluffy side tbh.

☆ authors notes: um hi!!!! i honestly had super fun writing this & adding it to the singer x band member saga lol. i hope you enjoyed, thank u for requesting <333 also im not the most educated on the song writing process so go easy on me 🫣🫣

the, once baby blue, california sky was painted orange fading into yellow, shading every building with a shining cast, including the story your apartment was on. the apartment you rarely spent a constant time in, usually on the road and a tour bus.

the soft melody playing throughout the living room traveled up your spine as the wood panels beneath you kissed at your bare feet. your row of teeth chewed on a manicured nail, your chest vibrating with the soft hum in you.

you paced in attempt to find something that felt like you, an endless search through the tune.

gray smoke followed you like a shadow, falling from the blazing cigarette carefully sitting between the lips of the man on the rugged leather of the sofa. strands of dark hair fell over his eye sight while his fingers did all the work, adding to the lyrical search.

for a moment, he glanced up, eyeing your legs moving from one direction to the other. your eyebrows were pinched together, lips pursed before clamping your teeth over the bottom flesh.

you mumbled a few words to your self, some potential lyrics but nothing stuck.

“fuck,” you groaned, partially to yourself but the guitarist noticed, halting his motions and immersing the two of you in silence.

“don’t rush it, baby,” izzy spoke softly, plucking the cigarette from his lips and exhaling. he spoke so coolly, like your career wasn’t relying on the art you made with him and it’s anticipation.

you simply stare at him, big doe eyes full of impatience and weary while a minuscule pout etched onto your lips absentmindedly. he notices your shoulders drop before giving you a flash of sympathy, patting the material of the couch he occupied.

“c’mere,” he encourages. your vision glances down to his big palm, taking steps and slowly advancing towards him. izzy’s calloused hand reaches out to you, thick fingers pulling at your dainty ones, pulling you down to his level.

you obliged, knees gently dipping into the couch to fully face him. his dark orbs latch onto your skin, like thorns on a rose, dragging down every inch of you.

there was a moment of silence before you spoke up.

“i’m gonna write a song about you one day,” you murmur, the corners of your lips quirking up as your finger tips inched their way towards the strands of hairs framing his eyes.

he slightly raises his eyebrows, “is that so?”

you let out a giggle, your head nodding up and down. you let your body lean forward, hands crawling to plant on his jean-clad thighs.

“my muse,” you grin, placing a peck on his pink lips. his body vibrates from his deep chuckle before you gently grasp the guitar still in his embrace. getting the hint, izzy mirrors your actions and helps place the prized possession to the side.

with that moment, the air switches; erasing the jaded feelings. your skin warms up, one leg swinging over his lap to cage him in. rough palms slither up your exposed thighs, hiking up the hem of your sundress.

your chest immensely rises, a breath falling from your plump lips. a lustful haze over takes you as izzy’s touch gradually keeps getting higher.

your lashes flutter shut, skin on your sides, on top of the material of your clothing. the lingering smell of smoke remained around him, laced on his tongue as he guided you to lock his lips to yours, cradling the back of your neck.

your palms slid down his chest, body tingling with satisfaction. his digits dig deeper into your hair, giving a slight tug against your scalp. you smile into the kiss at the feeling, the feeling of him being engulfed in the heat.

you briefly pulled away, eyes flickering to his lips, residue of your lipstick lingering. the pad of your thumb gently rubs against them, not to get it off but to admire your mark on him.

“you’re my girl,” izzy whispered, voice gravely as his pools of hazel bored into you. he watches you shake your head, an amused smile etching onto your features.

your cheeks flush, “stop it,” you place a kiss on the corner of his lips, gradually moving down to the delicate spot between his neck and his jaw. izzy’s head lolls to the back of the sofa, entering a blissful state with every inch of him being covered by you and your touch.

“you are, you’re my girl,” his hooded lids peer down before his big hand smooths back the strands falling on your forehead head and back against the curve of your skull. izzy languidly pulls you into him, your ear against his heartbeat faintly pounding against his ribs.

it was intimate, your mind against his heart as your body fell limp, curling into his embrace. his palm continued to comfort you, putting your mind that was once worked up, to ease. yet that was all a minuscule moment now.

your body rose and fell with your breaths, the guitarists other hand falling slack across your body.

“always gonna be my girl,” he mumbled, words lazily slurred against his tongue.

you hummed in response, you were his girl now and you’ll be his girl then.

[butterflydm]

Wheel of Time 3x03 Deep Dive (show spoilers)

Spoilers only for the show in this one, through 3x04, because some of what we learn there gives us insight into bits of this episode.

Our first Forsaken meeting post-Ishamael's death.

Let's go, Forsaken Meeting!

I really like the way they introduced this by having us follow Rahvin to the meeting location, and the show-only people would wonder what Prince-Consort Gaebril is up to but have that shock of surprise when Lanfear comes to speak with him. Loved it!

We get to see four Forsaken here -- Lanfear, Rahvin, Sammael, and Moghedien (hiding from all the others except Rahvin). We also get mention of the deceased Ishamael, and learn that Rahvin has been talking to two other Forsaken named Graendal and Semirhage, who were not invited to Lanfear's meeting. Lanfear mentioned Graendal last season ("vain idiot") but did not mention Semirhage.

So, to all appearances, this would seem to be Lanfear's first meeting with any of the other Forsaken since she spoke with Moghedien (a month and some change ago). She does have a different agenda from the other Forsaken, as far as we're aware -- Ishamael wanted to turn the Dragon and his friends to the Shadow; Lanfear wants the Dragon for herself and is fine if his friends just fuck off forever and never contact him again; and she claims that all the other Forsaken just want Rand & co dead. Her opinion of "the boys" last season was that they "couldn't carry out a plan if they were under Compulsion", but we don't know how accurate any of Lanfear's opinions about her coworkers are.

So if Rahvin is dressed as a noble, though less fancy than when he's around Morgase, Sammael is dressed up military, and fancy enough that I'll say 'general'. And Lanfear is wearing clothes that remind me of the more 'modern' style that we saw in the Age of Legends.

"According to her, and anyone who meets us, we've been hopelessly in love for more than a decade." Terrifying! Gaebril's cheerful affable stepdad vibes from the last episode revealed here as a facade.

"You always were an artist with compulsion" - this from Lanfear does let us know that this is sort of Rahvin's "speciality" and potentially none of the other Forsaken are able to compel as easily and as quickly as he does.

Sammael just wants to get down to the business of the meeting. He wants to know where the Dragon is.

But she doesn't want to talk about that.

"You didn't learn your lesson last time, did you? You were so in love with Lews Therin, you'd have stretched out at his feet if he'd said "Rug"."

We have an interesting set of observations when it comes to Lews Therin and Lanfear's past relationship. According to legend (Moiraine), Lanfear was in love with the Dragon and turned to the Shadow after he broke her heart and left her to marry his wife. According to 'Selene', her ex-boyfriend judged her after he saw who she really was and broke things off with her.

Lanfear's main angle in seducing Rand appears to be isolating him as much as possible and trying to get him to admit that he's just as dark on the inside as she is, and that she's the only one who will ever see that and understand and love him all the same.

Ishamael also blamed the Dragon for both himself and Lanfear turning to the Shadow (but that was part of his ploy to try to convince Rand to turn). And Sammael paints the picture of a woman pathetically eager and desperate for a man who doesn't respect her.

What's the truth about Lanfear and Lews Therin's previous relationship?

I think that the most obvious signs of the truth lie in how Lanfear is seeking to mold Rand, presumably so that things between the two of them don't go the same way that they did with Lews Therin. And what is Lanfear doing with Rand? She wants to isolate him from everyone else who cares about him and convince him that he has darkness inside him that no one but her is capable of loving.

So, I think that Lews Therin did glimpse the darkness inside Lanfear, went "um, fuck no!" and went off to fall in love with someone he liked better, but Lanfear doesn't want to think about what that means.

The fault can't be in Lanfear. And she doesn't want the 'fault' to be in Lews Therin either. She wants to be able to blame it on external influences that are tearing him away from her, or else on him denying his true nature. Because that would mean that her desperate and possessive love for him isn't in vain.

Lanfear and Sammael seem close to starting a fight, but Rahvin cools the temperature of the room down by reminding them that it was all their in-fighting last time that let Lews Therin trap them in the seals, and we get to the actual point of the meeting that Lanfear called.

What is the purpose of Lanfear's meeting? She wants them to gang up and kill Moghedien (doesn't mention that this is because Moghedien was just threatening Rand by sending a Gray Man to his inn in 3x01). She dresses it up by pretending that she's worried that Moghedien is going to start taking each of them out so that she can be Nae'Blis herself, and the implication is that Nae'Blis was previously Ishamael, who was particularly favored by the Dark One before his death in 2x08.

Lanfear calls out Sammael as "the weakest of us", which maybe explains why he fronts as so aggressive. She also tells us that Moghedien tends to work by targeting the weakest in the group and picking them off one by one until she reaches the top. In the case of the Forsaken, that would be Lanfear, she says, now that Ishamael is gone. I like that the show has leveled out the power levels between men and women, and so Lanfear, instead of being the strongest of the female Forsaken, is now currently just flat-out the strongest Forsaken.

This also gives us some information about Nynaeve being the first to be targeted by Moghedien in 3x01 -- she's currently the weakest of the group (but has the potential to be very strong if she breaks her block), so going after her is the least risky option at the moment.

"If you're so strong, why isn't our Great Lord speaking to you? And why aren't you Nae'Blis? Why aren't you our leader?" Sammael asks, after Lanfear positions herself as the top of the power pyramid, the person that Moghedien would kill last.

"Maybe he mourns Ishamael still," Lanfear says. I do think it's possible that Lanfear really does want to kill the Dark One (as she claims to Rand later on) but I don't think she wants to stop doing horrible things, which is what Rand would actually want from her.

Rahvin says that he'll consider presenting Lanfear's idea of an alliance to two of the other Forsaken, Graendal and Semirhage, making it clear that he has already made some alliances of his own.

It's interesting to think about how Ishamael and Lanfear so often wore clothes that tied them to the Age of Legends, to the past. They are also the two Forsaken who remain the most concerned with the past incarnation of the Dragon, Lews Therin. Meanwhile, Rahvin and Sammael both appear to have adopted the clothing of the place where they're currently living.

After Lanfear & Sammael leave, we get the reveal that Moghedien was hiding and watching. Moghedien states here that she doesn't want to make the same mistakes as last time, and doesn't plan to end up in a cage again. Very interesting considering that we see her at the end of the episode playacting as Liandrin & co's servant as they learn that the object of power that they stole from the White Tower is a male version of the sul'dam bracelet and they are here in Tanchico to find the matching collar. She talks about wanting to avoid being caged and ends up finding out about a potential way to cage the person who locked her up last time.

I definitely understand picking slightly more time in the episodes over using the credits but they are so pretty and I am always happy to see them. And the way that the gold threads first burst out at Josha's (the Dragon's) name just hit me so hard from the first time that we saw them.

Our first major plotline in this episode is Elayne and Nynaeve's investigation into where Liandrin might have gone, which starts with the interrogation of Amico and Joiya, who both pretend to break and who are both lying liars who lie, as Elayne and Nynaeve figured out by the end of the episode.

Nynaeve and Elayne remind us that they do not trust anyone else in the White Tower, even the people like Verin who Siuan trusts (even Siuan herself). Nynaeve has a lot of reason to be wary -- Liandrin really did connect with her before betraying her, plus she and potentially Elayne also know about Siuan trying to cage Rand. The one other Aes Sedai that they might trust, Alanna, is not currently in the Tower. Nynaeve did get along really well with Maksim, so might have been willing to trust the pair of them, if they'd been around.

Unfortunately, we know that Elayne already may have trusted the wrong person -- with the reveal that Gaebril is really the Forsaken Rahvin, it's possible that every word that she said to her mother was repeated directly to Rahvin.

The information that we get from Amico and Joiya:

The Black Ajah work in hearts, where women only know three other BA Sisters (the two others of their heart and one outside of it). this protects the full BA from being revealed if any single BA sister gets caught

Liandrin somehow knew about the rest of them (because of Lanfear? or because of Ishy?) despite that breaking the heart structure, though she was actually Amico's "outside her heart" connection

Amico's lie about Liandrin's location is that she's gone to Tear, to help one of the Forsaken claim Callandor

Joiya's lie is that Liandrin has gone to find Mazrim Taim, the false Dragon in Saldaea

We shift to Elaida, who appears to have some health issues going on that make her hands shake. Or, well, hand. It appears to be only the one hand, where she wears a gold and red bracelet that appears to have a snake on it. And I can't tell if she sweeps the items off her vanity out of frustration or if she literally loses control of her hand and it sweeps the items off against her will.

She calls for a servant but instead of getting the one she's used to, she gets Min. The shot in the mirror showing Min, and then Min hurrying out of shot to go clean up the broken glass... I really like it. We also see a perfect red rose next to the mirror, which is a very nice nod to a piece of Elaida's characterization in the books. We know from Verin that she's sending Min around to look at various Sisters and try to get viewings from them. Now that Min has been handed off to Siuan, it makes a lot of sense that Siuan would want to see if Elaida might potentially be causing trouble in the Tower.

Elayne's hairstyle is a rose! The back of her hair is a rose! That's so cute. <3

Also, Nynaeve feels like Verin and Siuan are too focused on Joiya and Amico, and Nynaeve figures that they're both lying, and that the best way to suss out the truth is to do their own independent investigation, out from under the watchful eye of Siuan. This continues the trend we've been seeing this season of the 'kids' bucking against authority and going their own way -- Rand telling Moiraine "You don't tell me what to do anymore"; Egwene getting the Accepted ring and then immediately bouncing from the Tower, Elayne standing up to her mother last episode and telling her that she would be staying in the Tower and not going home, and now Nynaeve deciding that Siuan isn't investigating the right things and that she needs to take charge of things herself.

If we expand the theme to forging their own way and finding authority in themselves, then this also extends to what we're seeing from Perrin and Mat in this episode -- Mat being able to harness his memories to kick the princes' asses, and Perrin beginning the process of organizing his people in their defense against the Trollocs.

The kids are all coming into their own this season.

Nynaeve has the inside scoop on Liandrin, from having followed her last season (also, I spotted the Gray Man following them here) and takes us back to the room where she found Liandrin with her son, which is empty now. We do get it acknowledged here that Nynaeve has been telling Elayne things off-screen, so if Elayne didn't previously know about Siuan trying to cage Rand, I expect that Nynaeve has told her about that by now.

Elayne and Mat really would have a lot in common if they get the chance to sit down for a chat because just like Mat is always the one to take the emotional temperature of his friends, Elayne reaches out here to Nynaeve and opens the door to a conversation with a non-judgmental, "You liked her, didn't you?" to Nynaeve about Liandrin, which gives Nynaeve the space and safety to talk about her complicated feelings about Liandrin.

I love the continuation of us getting all these different funeral rites and rituals. The chalk and salt symbol at the place of someone's birth and death. Wearing your loved one's ashes until the grief finally wears off your face. Just the variety of human ritual that we've gotten in the show, and what it tells us about the different people and places that have been shaped by this world. Love it.

Elaida wants to talk to Siuan and gets blocked by Leane and Verin. She is... uh, not pleased. The sort to keep a grudge forever, it would appear! Elaida learns here that she won't get her private talk with the Amrylin unless she can get a Sitter to request the audience for her, so now Elaida has a goal, which she will attempt to solve in a couple of different ways.

Attempt #1: flattering and bribing one of the current Sitters into requesting the audience for her. Contrary to Verin's words last episode, Elaida does not seem particularly well-liked. At least not by the Red Sitters.

For the Red Sitter named Galina, Elaida brings a gift of wild strawberries from Andor, which brings with it the information that Morgase keeps a royal forest.

For Tsutama, who is a Sitter and also the Highest of the Red Ajah, Elaida brings a necklace. It is not much like what Tsutama is already wearing, and Tsutama promptly rejects it and just as promptly calls Elaida out on her attempts at bribery.

We also see here what lesson Tsutama took from what happened in 3x01 -- basically, that the Reds fucked things up by managing to be so untrusted by the Amrylin Seat and that they need to earn that trust back, after Liandrin betrayed the Tower in such a spectacular fashion.

Elaida wants to "return the Reds to where they belong, at the heart of the Tower." She says that because the Dragon Reborn has been revealed, and confirmed to be a man, it is time for the Red Ajah to take the lead on how to handle him, since they are the ones who have practice dealing with men who can channel.

I really like this because it shows us exactly what Siuan and Moiraine were afraid of, exactly why their search for the Dragon Reborn had to be kept a secret. But we also see the dangers of that secret, because Siuan has not been able to prepare the White Tower for the Dragon's arrival. The weight of Tower Law and Tower tradition has proved too weighty to overcome, especially since Siuan not feeling like she could trust anyone also likely contributed to the factionalism in the Tower.

Elaida wants them to call for a vote to send a team of eight Sisters to find Rand and cage him. Tsutama shoots the idea down. Elaida is not happy about continuing to be thwarted.

Rand and co have arrived in the Aiel Waste. Cracks me up to see Aes Sedai level secrecy turned on an Aes Sedai. "That's Wise Ones' business." lol

We get clarification here that Egwene managed to pull herself out of her (Lanfear-induced) nightmare and put herself into Bair's dream -- where Bair was carrying spears instead of being dressed as a Wise One.

They find a burned caravan of the Tuatha'an, with their dead, so we're able to learn what the Aiel perspective on them is. "It's forbidden to harm the Lost Ones" (and we'll learn why in 3x04).

"The only thing with less honor than refusing to defend yourself is killing someone who won't defend themselves".

It really is fascinating how ji'e'toh was built out of the Way of the Leaf and how Lewin & the others coped with breaking their oaths to peace, and how they tried to chart a narrow path where they were still keeping to some of their ways while knowing that they were barred from others because of their violence. No swords, because swords are viewed as inherently violent against other people while spears or arrows can also be used to hunt game for food. The way to most honor is to touch an enemy without killing them (from 3x04). Bits and pieces of the Way of the Leaf still surviving in the present-day Aiel.

We get our first mention of the Shaido, in context of how they might be willing to break Aiel tradition by killing the Tuatha'an (Lan notes that what look like sword wounds could be spear wounds disguised to look like swords). I have some thoughts on the Shaido, but I think that's better for when we actually meet them. The main thing to note here is that they have a blood feud with the Taardad.

Egwene tells Rhuarc that they need to bury the dead Tuatha'an, and Melaine shoots back "they are not worth the time or the stones. It's their own fault they're dead" but Rhuarc agrees to stay behind to bury them. We also get our first "Shade of my heart" between Rhuarc and Bair here. <3 This endearment always gets to me because it's just so personal and specific to the Aiel as a people.

In the first steps of a "you two don't belong together" campaign that Bair will continue in the next episode, Bair calls Egwene to come along with her, while Rand stays behind with Rhuarc as he covers the bodies with stones in their burial ritual (which we can see in 3x04 comes down to them from the time of their trek eastward, as Jonai buries his daughter this way as well). I have some thoughts on Bair's motives re: Egwene, mostly revolving around Bair wanting Rand to be able to focus his attention on becoming the Car'a'carn and not get distracted by wetlander Aes Sedai, even if they are capable of learning how to use the dream, but I feel like we may get more answers on her motives when 3x05 airs. Bair does mention in 3x04 that the Wise Ones did not see Egwene coming along with Rand, and that may contribute to her belief that Rand and Egwene's paths do not align.

"You know too much and too little." Yeah, this ties back to Chiad and Bain's reaction when Aviendha mentions the Trial of Rhuidean to Rand in 3x01 -- they were startled and talked to each other when Aviendha said it to Rand. Living as someone who was raised outside their culture, Rand will never fully understand (as he admits to Aviendha in 3x04, after the columns) and it also seems that Rhuarc & the Wise Ones were of the mind that the less information given to Rand about what he needed to face to become the Car'a'carn, the better.

We get a really lovely scene here of Perrin burying his wife's ring, and we continue the "funeral rite" theme from the previous scene, as we learn how the Aybara family buries their dead -- holding an apple tree seed, to add to the orchard and thus feed their descendants for generations to come. That feels so perfect for the Two Rivers (I wonder if different families have slightly different versions but that they all 'contribute' to the future in some way). And Alanna shares her people's way with Perrin -- that the markings on her face are Ihvon's ashes with clay and water. The music here is gorgeous.

"It hurts and comforts me to see how her tree has thrived in my absence." That is such a beautiful line. It made me tear up.

"We wear the grief until it seeps in... becomes a part of you." And how stripped down and vulnerable Alanna is in this scene. "When one half of a couple dies, the other one is left to grieve. When one of three departs, who owns that grief?"

So, we've seen that different cultures all have their own funeral practices. Maksim does not seem to be from the same culture as Alanna -- did he object to Ihvon's body being burned to create the ash for Alanna's funeral rites, because it conflicted with his own rites that he wanted to carry out (which may have been the Warder rites or his own cultural rites)? Who owns the grief when they both loved Ihvon?

Bain teasingly says that "losing" Maidens' Kiss means that you'll be dead, so Mat was doing fairly okay by only getting a few nicks! I do think that Maidens' Kiss does a good job of showing us how casual and ingrained violence is in the Aiel culture -- even their kissing games have violence woven in.

Anyway, Chaid and Bain get no takers for their game today, but we do get to check in with Maksim, via them asking him to play, about his own grief over Ihvon - "the only man I ever loved". Much like Alanna is wearing her grief on her face, Maksim carries his grief as well -- Ihvon's blood is still on the sword that killed him, and Maksim carries it still.

We also learn that Loial is writing a chapter on Manetheren, and he seems to be quite a few pages into the book that he's writing (he did have a month on a boat to take some time to sit and write out what he's experienced and what he might have learned by talking to the others).

We meet a group of people, being led by "Lord Luc" (a hunter for the Horn, who stuck around after he learned about the Whitecloaks and Trollocs). The woman that we are later introduced to first as Mandarb and then as Faile, is also there but we don't get her name at this time. We learn that Natti Cauthon & Mat's sisters have been captured by the Whitecloaks, making Perrin's internal conflict nudge up another degree or so.

Faile challenges Perrin's presence, which leads to all the villagers noting his changed eyes, while Perrin challenges Lord Luc ("Lord of what, exactly?" we don't get an answer.

We do shift over to get a view of the Whitecloak camp (on Watch Hill, Faile helpfully lets us know in the previous scene). We see that Natti & the girls are, indeed, captured. That Dain is conflicted over the idea of harming them in order to question them about Perrin but willing to bend his morals if it starts to take too long for Perrin to show up in the Two Rivers, and that Child Valda is as much of an asshole as ever.

Also, it really does disturb me so much seeing kids with the Whitecloaks. Training them up young. Dain was one of those kids once.

Cutting from Mat's family to Mat having his memories that are keeping him awake -- inspired. The transition choices in the show have always been great, even back in s1, but they flow so well this season especially.

Min showing up in Mat's bedroom again late at night (but once again not for that reason). This time, she actually is there to talk to Mat, instead of acting as Siuan's messenger. What Min tells Mat here -- that she is haunted by visions of her visions of the future and wanted a chance to be rid of them, may resonate with Mat whether he wants them to or not, because he is currently being haunted by visions of the past.

Elayne and Nynaeve continue their investigation -- Nynaeve found the symbol and Elayne figures out the meaning. Together, they figure out that Liandrin has likely gone to Tanchico.

"What if everything they said was a lie? We should be looking at what they didn't say." Elayne and Nynaeve study the catalogue that Verin has created of the stolen items, and they find the drawing of the bracer, immediately recognizing it as similar to the sul'dam bracelet. Elayne's knowledge of history and politics comes in handy again -- she knows that Tanchico is near Falme, where the Seanchan originally left from centuries ago, so Nynaeve puts together that the collar that goes to this bracer might be located in Tanchico. That there is a clear and present danger to Rand.

The Gray Man tries to kill them - Nynaeve gets them both out of the way physically, while Elayne pushes him back with the One Power. When they go out into the corridor, they find that he's already dead. Stabbed to death.

From where his bolt flew, it does look like the Gray Man was aiming at Elayne, which is interesting, since it was Nynaeve that Moghedien was targeting before. I do think that Elayne wasn't considered an important part of things before 3x01, but since we know that Moghedien and Rahvin are talking to each other, and Rahvin likely learned from Morgase that Elayne healed the Dragon Reborn at Falme... Elayne may now also be a target, at least for Rahvin and Moghedien, though perhaps still unknown to the other Forsaken.

Verin strolls around the corner with a book, asking the girls what happened. She is able to tell them a little bit about Gray Man, but Nynaeve notes (after she leaves) that she never wondered who killed the Gray Man. As Elayne said about Joiya and Amico -- it's good to pay as much attention to what people don't say as what they do.

Everything is too suspicious for our detective agency now and they've just learned of a clear and imminent threat to Rand (and they now both consider themselves Protectors of the Dragon Reborn, the way that Egwene does, I think), so they figure it's time to book it and get out of dodge before the Forsaken can send another assassin after them.

We shift over to Tanchico to cover Liandrin & co's arrival and to check out the new outfits on the Black Ajah. Jeaine slaying, as always (they all have fun outfits - I also really like Ispan's braids). This is the part of town where Liandrin is from, and these are the people who raised her. Liandrin wears a veil when outside here, and she slips into a different accent when she speaks to the locals.

There's some big information about Tanchico (or this part of it) that's given to us here, information that validates and reinforces what we learned about Liandrin's past in previous episodes, the things that created the way she feels about men and the trauma that led her to the Shadow, to have enough power that no one would ever be able to abuse her like that again.

Tanchico practices child-bride marriages, and it sounds like it's normal practice for the girls to get married very young, so that their husbands can "mold" them into being the perfect little wife. The show has done a really good job of giving Darkfriends relatable reasons why they would choose to become Darkfriends, and seeing Liandrin's backstory really helps explain the person that she is, and why she acts the way that she does.

We shift over the Elaida and it's time for Plan B -- she's figured out who Min is and why Min was sent to be her servant, and she puts into motion her plan to get Tsutama out of the way so that she can do what Tsutama refuses to do when it comes to the Dragon Reborn. And she uses Min to do it.

Step 1: bond with Min over having visions of the future (helpfully also telling the audience that Elaida shares this with Min).

Step 2: offer her advice on how to handle her burden in a way that will make her feel agency over it. She tells Min that they can find their power in what leads up to the moment that they see, and what they do afterwards.

Step 3: now that you've created this sense of kinship between you, pretend to share a secret with her, knowing that she will pass the information on to Verin & Siuan, in order to get you what you want. Elaida is good at manipulating people into doing what she wants (if the people don't already know her - Tsutama caught on to her pretty quickly). And Min passes it along because she knows that Elaida can't lie -- but if Elaida saw in a Foretelling that she would become the Highest again, then that could explain how she could tell Min this and not have it be a lie.

"Many years ago, I had a Foretelling that the queendom of Andor would play a key role in the Last Battle." And that led to her supporting and advising Morgase in her campaign to win the Succession War. She touches her bracelet after this, and Min asks about it, and Elaida does coyly admit that it's part of a Foretelling "of a sort". Very intriguing!

Bair and Egwene talk about Dreamwalking and how rare it is. Also, Bair calls Egwene "Egwene Sedai" and Egwene does not correct her.

Egwene does confide in Bair about her dreams, and Bair tells her that someone hurting her in the dream world and the hurts following her into the waking world means that the person hurting her is truly also there in the dream world, and alive. Bair promises to teach Egwene how to protect herself... after Rhuidean.

We go from Egwene talking about the person hurting her, to us seeing that person.

Lanfear claims here to Rand that he's the one that brought them here this time and not her -- he doesn't buy it and neither do I. We've never seen any evidence that Rand can move himself around in TAR the way that Lanfear can and the way that Egwene was able to do in the last episode.

She is playing up her vulnerability hard in this talk with Rand. Oh, you were so right to make the choices that you did. I made so many mistakes. I can't do this on my own. You need to help me, Rand. You need to save me from myself and my own poor choices. Don't you want to save me, Rand? (remember how it felt when you saved me from that Fade? didn't it feel good to save me? I'm here to make you feel like a grown man, capable of protecting the woman that he loves -- you remember that you told me that you loved me, right?) You need to find this incredibly powerful object for me so that you can help save me from the bad choices that I've made.

The fact that she is still playing Selene here -- that she has soft hair and a soft attitude -- really exposes that she's not being honest. Her most honest moments with Rand, imo, were their desert talks last season, after he'd found out the truth. But she realized that they weren't effective, so she switched gears.

The bait-and-switch of the sweat tent scene is interesting. Because Lan encouraging Moiraine here could mean one of two different things: either he feels like she's open to the idea and he wants her to have some happiness even if she's not still with Siuan, or she isn't open to the idea and he doesn't want her to trap herself into the past.

We learn here that the Taardad Aiel, at least, do take in refugees sometimes, as they took in Melindhra as a small child and raised her as their own. We don't know about the other clans.

This plotline of exploring Lan's feelings about his heritage feels very well-timed, since it means he can bond with Rand over it (which we see a little of in the next episode).

"Aiel do not have tattoos" - given what we learn in the next episode, this is likely because they are sacred, as the marker of leadership. They don't get other tattoos because of the marking that Rhuidean gives the clan chiefs.

"Have you forgotten your duty?" Duty has been another big theme so far this season -- taking up the duty left to you by your ancestors. Elayne struggles with this in 3x02, Lan is questioned over it here, Perrin will take up a duty regarding the Two Rivers, and both Rand and Aviendha will accept their duty to the Aiel people in 3x04 (and the burden of duty through the generations is a huge theme we explore in 3x04).

Two Rivers town meeting! Perrin volunteers to turn himself in to save the Cauthons, and the vast majority of the village says "fuck no. we defend our own".

A heartbreaking thing that we learn in the conversation between Maksim and Alanna is that Alanna is now keeping secrets from him -- she hasn't told him why they came to the Two Rivers. He's just as much in the dark as everyone else.

"Mandarb" and Perrin have their first conversation here, where she comes over to poke at him over that moment of attempting to turn himself in. "I've never seen someone try to turn themselves in... and fail." She has been watching him a lot and definitely finds him intriguing. They have a bit of (understandable) miscommunication -- Perrin is amused by her being here to look for the Horn (because he knows it was found already) and then amused by her name (because it was what Lan called his horse) and puts her back up with his amusement until she gets up and leaves with one last barb ("try again to turn yourself in").

She definitely thought Perrin was going to make a dick joke about her name ("It's what my friend calls his..." and it means 'blade'). But that was not his intention, of course. Still, she leaves prickly and he remains amused by the conversation.

Turning himself in failed, so we learn that Perrin's Plan B is to go in and save Natti & the girls.

Mat spots Min, and wants to clear the air between, now that he's had a chance to think about it, but now she's the one who isn't feeling great. I'm guessing she might be coming back from telling Siuan and/or Verin about her conversation with Elaida.

Mat apologizes to Min, and he begins to explain about what he's been dealing with, and we learn that Mat's memories are common knowledge around the Tower. Then Min gets another viewing of Mat -- a twisted doorframe behind him, and his body hanging from a noose. She's worried over it and Mat immediately clocks her reaction, as this is not the first time she's had a scary viewing about him.

Galad swoops in to 'save' Min (she doesn't need it), and even after Min says that she's fine, he stays and keeps bothering Mat anyway. This kinda goes with what we saw in his introduction about treating Elayne like she was young and needed his protection -- he seems to extend this outwards to all women, not only his little sister (who doesn't need his protection either).

Mat's extremely sarcastic "praise" of Galad here is very funny. The show definitely puts a lot into building up Mat's irritation towards the brothers (but especially Galad) before we get the sparring later on.

Yes, the fact that Leane goes now to give the Amyrlin's orders that are designed to get Tsutama out of the Tower confirms to me that Min was just in reporting to Siuan, and then Siuan takes immediate action to try to get what she views as her greatest danger out of the way. And Elaida talked plainly enough that I can understand why Min believed her (I just think she was able to speak so confidently because she's had a Foretelling that gives her the knowledge that the moment she's talking about will happen). But it means that Siuan was tricked into forcing out the Red Sitter & the Head of the Ajah who actually was dedicated to earning back the trust of the Amrylin and who wasn't inclined to make hasty moves with regards to the Dragon Reborn.

I'm guessing that part of the reason that Mazrim Taim is the goal that is given to Tsutama is because of the lies told by Joiya. Siuan thinks that Liandrin might already be there. While she may be less suspicious of Tsutama being Black Ajah now (because of her actions in 3x01), she's still worried about her as a potential challenge to what Siuan believes she needs to do in the Tower, so she gets her out of the way.

Since Elaida fully thinks of herself as the once and future Highest of the Reds, her words here are actually her saying that she needs to stay in the Tower to complete her work (though she's the only one who will understand it that way).

Now Perrin returns the favor of protection -- as the Two Rivers defended him against the idea of turning himself in, Perrin uses his personal knowledge of the Trollocs to convince the villages to hold together here, and not scatter back to their own farms. He takes up a position of inspirational leadership in the village, without realizing that he's doing it.

Mat trains with a quarterstaff, perhaps trying to do as Min suggested, and find the Hero from Falme inside himself again. The princes show up and twit Mat about his fighting skills, but Mat doesn't yet take the bait, faking a laugh.

Galad, uh, offers to show Mat how to handle his sword, but Mat rejects that offer.

Nynaeve shows up, after having sought Mat out to say goodbye to him -- Mat is understandably upset at the idea that Nynaeve is just going to leave without him after she promised to help him.

And, once again, Galad swoops in to rescue a woman who neither wants nor needs his help (and Nynaeve is the one who came to speak with Mat! not the other way around).

"Mate, take a day off!" is such a great, frustrated line from Mat. Just let him talk to his friend! He's a touchy-feely person and his friends know that about him. He's not bugging her!

It is also so funny to me that we get Elayne mentioning later that she didn't even tell her brothers that she was leaving and we definitely have Nynaeve here, not trusting Elayne's brothers with the knowledge that they're leaving.

Loved the fight. <3

I don't really have anything deep to say about it, just that I really loved it. Mat quoting the same Old Tongue line that he said before the fight at Falme. Nynaeve's concern turning to smug happiness over seeing him beat the snot out of the princes. The music! The times when we get the bits of slo-mo. Mat's very brief moment of choking Galad. It all really works for me.

Echoing Perrin, Mat also finds an authority in himself that he didn't know he had, but instead of it being outwards, it's inward. Control over himself.

Now we get a more personal and private conversation between Perrin and the woman who says now that her name is Faile. No jabs this time and no hidden amusement. She asks an honest question, gets an honest response back in turn, and they end on a nice note.

"Nobody's getting hurt. I'll make sure of it." Hmm, very similar to what we see with Randcestor Lewin in the next episode, which did not end up working well for him. Will it work better for Perrin? His people don't follow the Way of the Leaf, so they won't cast him out if he does end up causing violence.

Mat has joined Nynaeve and Elayne's trip by invitation, while Min is sneaking along behind them (but, hey, we don't see any Gray Men, so at least there's that!). Likely thinking about Elaida's advice about trying to turn her viewings into a gift.

We end on Liandrin finishing out the funeral rite for her son, including some flashbacks to holding her son after his birth. She goes upstairs and we get some Black Ajah lore dumps about how they are going after a way to cage the Dragon, and it's revealed to the audience that Moghedien is there, playacting as a servant and learning what Liandrin & co are up to, so that's all some nice set-up for the future episodes.

[cthulhus-curse]

I'm bringing back Bambi!wanda x wolf!hybrid!reader bc i saw this:

https://youtube.com/shorts/7B7g6mHnkfU?si=vYkL1OQmMVrp5n0E

And immediately pictured bambi wanda and wolf reader with this dynamic 🥺

Like imagine Bambi wanda who's been at the hybrid shelter for a while so she kinda gets to roam around and sometimes helps newcoming hybrids to acclimate to the change, reassuring them that they are safe, etc. And then comes wolf!reader, all sad and brooding and refusing help initially but for some reason feels a connection to wanda and is the only one they trust so they trail behind her at a distance and always watch out for her.

And then suddenly wanda gets sick bc of the influx of outsiders bringing in viruses and sometimes it creates an outbreak so wanda is put in quarantine and no visitors are allowed, but she's feverish and feels all weak and dizzy and stuff, and now wolf reader is lonely and pacing outside Wanda's room bc they want to comfort her so badly but they are not allowed. One night wolf!reader says "fuck it I'm going in" and somehow gets in with Wanda. In the morning the workers find them cuddling and wolf reader protecting wanda, all paranoid and growling at anyone who dares step into Wanda's room, and they try to separate them but r keeps finding a way in, and even wanda is worried that she's contagious and doesn't want r to get sick too, but even she can't deny how good it feels to be in wolf reader's protective hold and how it warms her heart that r starts to purr sometimes just for wanda.

Eventually wanda gets better and is given the all clear and wolfy and Bambi get to be together for a while, until wolfy starts showing symptoms and passes out while on a stroll with Wanda. Wolfy is immediately put under monitoring and strict quarantine too, to check if it's a stronger variant of the same virus or something else, so wanda isn't allowed in even tho she's got antibodies, wolfy is so upset and weak and refuses to eat and is so difficult bc they're used to wanda being there and making them feel not like a monster and safe. Anyways, eventually after days of Bambi being worried sick about wolfy she decides to break the rules for the first time ever and ignore the strict quarantine to check on her wolfy herself. Of course the workers give her a strong reprimand when they find out but wanda is more worried about wolfy to care, so she still gets in, just like her wolfy did with her, and even the workers notice that wolfy calms down and starts eating and taking the meds when wanda is the one feeding them and is overall more docile so they just let it be after a while, and that's how they eventually find out that it was the same virus, just that wolfy didn't have the antibodies for it so it hit harder.

When both wanda and wolfy get a check up to see everything is okay they see how attached they are to each other and figure that since both aren't fit to be released any time soon it can't hurt to let them enjoy their time together.

<3

sorry for the long ask, just remembered about wolf!hybrid!reader and Bambi!wanda and i lost my mind..

Oh my gosh, never apologize for long asks. This was such a joy to read! I honestly have nothing else to add because you painted the most perfect image. Ugh, I love wolf!R/bambi!Wanda so dearly. They are the sweetest, most adorable things ever <33

[shannonsketches]

Can I just yap to you for a tiny bit how much I love that small, beautiful moment of wordless communication between Bulma and Vegeta in Super Broly movie, when they talk to Trunks on the phone? It's SO perfectly parents-coded. And it's right after Vegeta nags her about weak security in her lab, which indicates he 1. hangs out in there a lot with her, and 2. is worried about her safety when he's not there to protect her. And lets just say that red leather couch that's sitting there has seen a lot of use, lol. 10/10

God I fucking love the Super Broly movie. Not just because it is an excellent animated film even outside of being a Dragon Ball fan, but also because as a fan it's just so focused on the characters and their relationships with themselves and each other, even during the fights!!

And also because I'm a lifelong Vegebul, yes, goddammit, all of that. Thank you for the excuse to spam small detail choices I love.

The board artist, animator, and director made the decision to have Bulma look down at Bulla when Whis posed this question to Vegeta. She knows he was about to go on sabbatical to be with his family before Goku brought Frieza back! She knows why he needs to be stronger!

Look at how cute this boy is. Baby boy. Baby. Happy to talk to mom even when it's not good news. He is so loved and so safe in his house.

Vegeta pausing his berating of the guy who brought Frieza back to life to see what Bulma's call is about.

You know this is a conversation they have every single time he leaves the planet because she's so used to having a super-powered apex predator sleeping next to her she keeps assuming everything will be fine until he gets back, and if that ain't a look that says "Boy do not start with me,"-

The "they were wearing armor like papa's" reaction kills me

Goku being the perfect vehicle for exposition because he's super forgetful about details, and has to have things explained to him, and letting the characters be a part of that reality is always my favorite choice:

Bulma: did u not sense these dudes, mr know-it-all? Vegeta: don't look at me, he's the one who brought Freeza back Bulma and Vegeta: why does he look conf-- oh for fucks sake he doesn't even know what's happening

but without any dialogue at all skldjalks Outstanding

and Bulma collecting herself to not misdirect her frustration at her child,,,I love them

Vegeta being right behind Goku but waiting for Bulma go first, and not just exiting on the same side Whis did to get boots on the ground faster... Great choice for the composition and also to tell you about the character's relationship!!

Stopping next to her instead of trying to get out ahead of Goku, but also--

Not being so overly protective that he can't allow old friends to play.

He moves away from her to engage the enemy and doesn't get near her again until Goku has the floor...and then my favorite bit that I got to point out to a friend who watched this and asks how Bulma survived the ice breaking,

Her hubband,,

He love him wife. Even if she's crazy. Especially 'cause she's crazy.

See... Toei's DBS mistake was painting Bulma as a nag when you know good and goddamn well it's Vegeta "Babysitting Grown Men My Whole Career" IV.

I just know he's the one, "Don't stand that close to the edge." "Don't leave all these wires laying the floor one of you is going to trip." "Pick up your clothes I just cleaned in here." "I don't care if it's the goddamn cat the next one to stuff this kitchen towel into the oven handle instead of folding it over like you found it is going to 1v1 me in the gravity room"

Bonus: My absolute favorite cap from the sub

Fascinating, my love, do go on.

[dronebiscuitbat]

Holy Shit! This was my first ever attempt at writing for MD that I found buried in the recycle bin of my notes! I wasn't happy with the characterization of them so I tossed it, and this is like a year old... but fuck it. Enjoy!

Some implications,t hough if you got through OITTB you'll be fine

Touch.

“Oh fuck me…” Uzi gasped as she took a look at N’s naked chassis for the first time. It wasn't a sexual thing. Rather a “N's tail busted against the wall and showered himself and his overcoat in acid” thing. But his accidental stupidity was the furthest thing from her mind now.

He had unhealed scars running up and down his body, normally that would only moderately worry her, he's a (while now docile) murder drone. He's bound to be cut up every now and again.

These were however, long claw marks that came from OTHER murder drones, and it had to have been consistent and often with his permanent scaring considering he regenerated a whole freaking head and it's not like his head came back the same off-grey color as his scars.

He turned to her. Unembarassed, which that didn't surprise her, he'd quite literally been an open book since they'd met. Dude had no concept of privacy and she was a little surprised this was the first time she was seeing him naked honestly. It wasn't like he had anything to see but armored plating, but it still made her visor flush with purple.

“Huh?” Was the only sound from him as he held his tail away from him, it was already regenerating, but was still leaking, so he'd dragged a plastic bucket over so it didn't eat through the metal flooring of her kitchen.

“You're covered in scars!” How? Don't you guys heal really fast?” Uzi suppressed the very-unlike-her urge to smother him in a hug, or maybe make him lick himself, that might have been more her style.

“Oh.” For once N didn't immediately sound off an explaination or reassure her worries. He did something far worse. He talked a little bit like herself.

“Don't worry about it, I'm a disassembly drone, we get hurt sometimes.”

He waved it off like it was no big deal, like those weren't totally claw marks running up the length of his sides like a bear had tried to climb him and more worryingly, across his CORE.

Nope. Uzi was not going to let N be like her today. Not when she felt her core stutter with worry and her CPU filled with horrific explanations of why N had so many scars.

Had he done it himself? Why? He wasn't so clumsy to be doing it on accident. Was it V? He did say he had a crush on her, maybe she was taking advantage? Using him as a scratching post? Was it J? Or was it another squad of drones?

“N. You regrew a head and didn’t scar. That had to have happened pretty often for them to be that visible.”

His tail had regenerated, slowly filling up with more nanite acid, but he wouldn't look at her, not all the way at least. His eyes went hollow for a moment.

Then he looked back up at her, a shy smile on his face.

“It… uh… I…” it looked like he couldn't figure out what to say, if he wanted to say anything at all.

And that's when Uzi's resolve broke, they'd been through so much together, prom, specifically, and that was wild. But here he was, being uncharacteristically speechless.

She went up to him slowly, ignoring the fact he was naked. And touched one of his scars, and seethed when she felt the indents where the claws had bitten into him.

“N…” Her voice was uncharacteristically soft, and when she looked up she saw that he'd closed his eyes. Not his real ones, but the ones on his visor were squeezed shut.

“N, I don't want to force you to tell me anything. But I am worried about you.” She ran her fingers again over them, trying to gadge how he felt about it by his expression.

Her hands stilled, still on him but no longer moving. He slowly opened his eyes visor painted yellow and an unreadable expression on his face. His vents took in more air, causing him to pant slightly.

“N.” His name was spoken to him slightly more forcefully, but her hands were anything but, they went up to cup his face, her face dripped concen, he couldn't stop the purr that escaped him. Even if it made the both of their visors fill more with color.

“Uzi… I'm-I’m fine. I was used to it. It was a way I was useful.” He'd repeated what he'd told himself so many times that he'd truly started to belive it. He was eager to please, and if that meant bearing the brunt of J’s aggressive handling. Then he was glad to be useful.

He wanted to take back his words when Uzi suddenly looked horrified. Which wasn't want he wanted, if anything he wanted her to continue looking at her the way she was. He started to tremble. Oh no, he'd messed up again. Maybe Uzi could forgive him? She'd been so nice to him even after he'd almost showered her in acid.

“I uhm, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you upset. I-” His tail went limp, he hunched himself up to make himself look small, looking away, not making eye contact. trying his best not to tremble when the first hit connected- as it always did.

But it didn't, instead the worker drone pulled him down into a fierce hug, hooking her arms underneath his and gripping (or almost gripping, she couldn't quite reach.) his shoulders to pull him down into her.

He blinked before slowly coming down to her level, tension slowly waning from his shoulders as she rubbed circles into them. She was so gentle, so patient, he felt a sob lodge in his throat which he tried to push down.

“Please stay here tonight. I don't know if it was V or J, and you don't have to tell me. But please don't go back to the pod.” Her voice was strained, soft, and felt like heaven going into his audio receptors, he nodded, nuzzling into her neck like a puppy.

When she pulled away she was almost hesitant. Looking up and down his marred chassis before focusing on his face again. She pressed their visors together, causing the glass to click together. N had never seen his freind so distressed, and he felt guilty being the cause.

But he also felt good. Like, really good. He'd liked the way her fingers felt on him and the contrast between the drone now in front of him and the one who'd often pin him to the pod wall with or without warning.

“You aren't like J. You're really patient with me when I mess up.” The words were thick and uncomfortable on his synthetic tongue. Uzi looked up, she was being so uncharacteristically quiet that N was starting to suspect he'd done something wrong again, but this time he wasn't as scared, Uzi would tell him, it wasn't going to happen without warning.

“Thank you.” He then said, and he could almost feel her wince with her hands still around him. Oh… that wasn't what he wanted.

Uzi's heart had fucking shattered awhile ago, but somehow his thanks made it crumble into dust. He was thanking her for doing the bare minimum of giving a shit that her closest (and only) freind had been sexually abused on the regular.

“You don’t have to thank me for that buddy.” She smiled at him, actually, genuinely smiled. What the hell else was she going to do? She'd always treated N differently from all the other drones just because he reminded her of a golden retriever. Now? He was getting an Uzi with all the safety's on.

“Come on, I have a shirt you can borrow. Then we can watch some anime?” She tugged at his hand, leading him away from his overcoat in the kitchen and into her room. She tossed him a long shirt that she'd worn as pajamas once, a lilac one that read “My GF Thinks I'm Tall.”

He slipped it over his shoulders with minimal struggle, looking down at it and smiling before turning back up to her and smiling brighter.

Oh, she was totally letting him keep that if he wanted.

Uzi hummed and told him to turn around while she slipped off her clothes to change in her pajamas. N looked confused but did as he was told. She'd just seen him naked, what was the big deal?

But he was always eager to please and if Uzi wanted something out of him he'd do it. He heard her sigh, “Okay, you can turn around.” N whipped around excitedly, his tail wagging rapidly as he remembered how she looked in her prom dress.

All she was wearing was a black t-shirt that was so long it covered a good portion of her metallic legs, but N still felt his visor flush slightly, as her hair was down and out of her beanie, and it was quite a bit longer than he'd expected.

“Oh! Your hair is really pretty down.” He grins and that causes Uzi to blush, tangling a finger in one of her bangs and looking at the ground.

“Uh… thanks.” She still felt awkward at the revelation that had just occurred. And it had shook her pretty badly. But it wasn't like the feelings she'd been cursed with at prom were suddenly gone. If anything, they were now stronger.

N just laughed, his head bouncing to every corner of the room like he was trying to memorize it all while also trying to take everything in. It wasn't like this was the first time in here either, he was just… always happy.

And Fuck J had done everything but destroy his chassis and he was still smiling happily around her room like he wouldn't always carry that with him.

“Wanna tuck in and watch Illegally downloaded anime?” She asked, trying not to bum him out (if that was possible) by holding onto a smile for him. It was a lot harder than it seemed on the surface, expessially since she could still see his scars in her mind.

“Yeah!” He lept into her bed from the floor like a cat, the tail adding to the illusion. She climbed up behind him, only to have N grab her by the waist and plop her directly into his lap, smiling brightly even when Uzi had to catch her breath.

“What are we watching?” He hummed, tail flicking back and forth, dangerously close to the wall again, Uzi caught it and put it in her lap, causing a flinch from the drone behind her, though he relaxed when all she did was rest a hand on it.

“Hmm, we can start you off with some shorter series if you want. I've already seen most of these.” N just nodded along to everything she said, happy to please, happy to be of use just like before, only now he felt good about it. Uzi was good to him.

Uzi just sighed, she hopped he'd find some preferences of his own soon instead of just being interested in what she was. But what much was there to do in the pod anyway? Play with buttons that didn't work?

So mindlessly she picked one that she'd remembered to be short, and played it on a small screen attached to her bed, N was glued to it almost immediately, but she leaned back into his chest. More watching him than whatever was happening.

Ignoring her core pumping quickly at thier proximity, she relaxed, partly because he was warm and partly because he was almost using her as a stuffed animal, holding her every time anything happened that excited him. His arms were strong, safe, and seemed to have already perfected getting the pressure around her just right for her to start to doze off.

But when very loud, very aggressive snogging noises attacked her audio receptors, she was wrenched out of sleep mode in a panic. Eyes trained on the screen.

Okay, main characters making out, she'd forgotten that bit. But that meant she'd slept through almost three hours of anime and it was almost over. Blessedly, this was the first and only instance of it in this anime, but she probably should have been more careful with her selection.

She took a moment to look back up at N, who had relaxed into the crook of her neck, he was still paying attention, even if his visor was lit up in embarrassment.

“Want me to skip it?” Uzi’s voice cracked with sleep, a little bit gravely, N’s visor got a little bit brighter at her question, Uzi felt his fingers twitch. Huh, they were around her waist, resting on her stomach, she hadn't noticed that.

“Uhhh, not really, it's kinda been building towards this moment.” Hah, it tracked that N liked mushy stuff, and Uzi let out a breathy laugh into N's audio receptors, he felt his core startle-stop, and a shudder go down his neck.

“Eh, not into watching other people snog. You do you buddy.” She nestled back into the position she was in before, intending to go back into sleep-mode until it was over.

“Is that what they're doing? I thought she was trying to maul him but I couldn't figure out why.”

Uzi snort-laughed into the crook of his neck, sending pleasant vibrations up the disassembly drones spine, another shudder went down his neck.

Yeah the animation in the scene wasn’t the greatest. Uzi thought to herself, the creators had clearly run out of budget somewhere on the last two episodes.

“What's snogging?” He asked, waiting until the feeling in his gut went away to ask, Uzi hummed lightly, still underneath him, still half-asleep, if he contrentrated enough, he could feel her core hum.

“Just a cutesy term for kissing dummy.” She replied, which didn't answer his question because;

“I dont know what that means either.” And that caught her attention enough to make her fully awake.

Oh right, she was talking to N, her best freind, the same best freind who's sides looked like a scratching post.

And J hadn't even fucking kissed him either. Uzi was glad she'd killed the bitch. Twice.

“Well, it's what two people do if they really like each other. Not like, friendship like, but like…” She hummed, trying to explain something she'd not had experience with herself to someone who was essentially asking what an arm was.

“You said you have a crush on V? So like how you feel about her.” Ow, just a little bit of emotional self harm from the emo kid, nothing to see here.

“So she's not trying to steal his blood?” He asked and Uzi let out another snort-laugh, N was unintentionally appealing to her dark sense of humor.

“No, although that would admittedly be way more entertaining to watch.” Her eyes flicked back to the screen, damn, did these two need to breathe or what?

“I don't think V would be into this. She'd want to actually steal my blood instead.” Uzi couldn't help but shrug and nod, he was probably right, V didn't seem the type.

“I really like you.” He said slowly, making her nerves alight, it didn't help that he was right in her ear as he said it, still in the crook of her neck.

“I already said not in a friendship way…’ She didn't let herself hope he meant it like that, but she felt him grip her. It was his turn to blush. She felt him freeze, then his breath stuttered out, she heard his cooling system whir to life.

“I… I don't think it is.” Uzi stiffened, heart feeling too full, visor almost tearing up. She didn't say anything though, just took one of his hands and squeezed it. She felt a hundred different words and reactions bubble up at once, like crabs in a bucket it caused none of them to make their way out.

He didn’t say anything else, perhaps he was too nervous to. But Uzi did catch onto his tail slumping slightly and he started to move away. Uzi didn't let him, pressing harder against him so he couldn't.

“Stay.” Was all she said, holding his hand tightly. She couldn't bring herself to say anything else back, she was far too edgy and emotionally stunted for that. But she didn't want him to think that he was unwanted.

Because she did want him. Terribly, but her head was too fucked up to say it so she was trying to show it, through her actions rather than words she wouldn't know how to say.

N thankfully seemed to get her message as he settled back in behind her. Thank Robo-God she hadn't scared him off with her current timidness, she could possibly confess verbally someday, but thinking about that was on the verge of making her overheat.

And then after a pregnant period of silence where she could have sworn she heard his core thrum more loudly than normal; N kissed her neck. Well really he licked her neck, using way too much tongue for the simple gesture. But Uzi still knew what he was trying to do.

And despite the urge to scream, or perhaps pass out from overheating; she felt herself move her head out of the way to give him more room, giggling softly at the way his tail wagged at her acceptance.

It was such a girly, un-edgy giggle she wanted to curse herself. What the fuck was she doing?

“L-less tongue, more like you're biting.” And so his lips found her neck next and that made her squirm, one of her hands came up to press him down into her shoulder.

Teaching N how to kiss her neck was apparently what she was doing. And she couldn't quite get herself to be mad about it.

That's when her whimpers started, N was a good listener, and attentive, so whenever she'd give him any sign of enjoyment he'd try to do more, slow kissing turned to sucking and nipping, making the sounds out of the girl in front of him more intense.

He pulled his head away when she'd sounded breathless, a sweet chuckle bubbling off his lips as his tail curled around them both.

“Is it okay to bite?” He asked, he sounded out of breath as well. His voice was lower, taking on a gravel that seemed to include the parts of him that were slightly more murder bot-y.

“In general, or with me?” Uzi breathed out, anticipation ramping up, core beginning to spin to bring extra oil to where it needed to.

“You.” He whispered, one of his hands wandering up from her stomach to where her core was humming loudly. Causing a shudder to wrack down her spine suddenly.

“Bite me.”

At the command he did, sinking his fangs into her neck at an angle, sending her oil into his throat and making Uzi yelp, her hands instinctively shot up in self preservation, but N held them back with his arm, he held his position as she slowly relaxed, a low whine escaping her lips as pleasure took over pain.

“N…” She purred, there was something so primal about her in his mouth, he had every capacity to end her in a second. But she knew he wouldn't, even as he sucked a gulp of oil out of her and errors appeared on her visor.

Then he pulled back and licked until her neck stopped leaking, She felt him lick his lips from her oil, and then sigh in contentment.

“I've been wanting to do that for forever.” He explained, laughing slightly at her blissed out face, oil slightly dripping off his lips, he let her turn to face him, wrapping his arms around her back.

“Uzi? Did I go too far I-” She lunged up to kiss him, tangling her fingers in his hair. He whimpered, he hadn't even realized his hair was sensitive until she raked her fingers through it and he groaned.

He tried to keep pace with her, but he was inexperienced and the practice on her neck didn't help. Still Uzi continued to guide him, slowing down to his pace, her hands fluttering down his neck, drawing another groan from his lips.

One of his hands found the the small of her back and the other cupped her cheek. While one of Uzi's hands wandered under the shirt she'd given him and lightly touched his core.

He pulled away immediately, wincing, but holding her hand there as if he was fighting some internal programming. Uzi felt guilt hit her like a truck, she'd wanted to try and erase the pain, not bring it to the surface again.

She held him as his eyes were squeezed shut, his core stammer-starting and restarting. The guilt creeped deeper, and concern filled her visor.

It took a minute or two, but N looked back up at her, looking guilty himself.

“S-sorry, I wanted to, well I wanted to do a lot of things, like tell you how I feel. But I wanted to show you I was okay.” He drew circles into her hand that had remained on his core for the duration of his episode.

“I guess I wasn't as okay as I thought… sorry.” At his second apology Uzi sighed, and she used her free hand to cup his cheek.

“No, I'm way happier you stopped me. I definitely crossed a line…” Uh yeah! You freaking kissed him you idiot! I mean he had been making out with your neck but he did not give you consent to kiss him!

“You didn't. I wanted to.” N spoke that with confidence, some energy coming back into his voice as he was shaking off the trauma.

“I mean I was the one who took it that direction in the first place. Preeeeetty sure you'd rather die then admit you like me sooo…”

Oh, oh he was being a little shit. Calling her out like that. That wasn't cool, that wasn't cool at all.

“Well you're the robot equivalent of a golden retriever and I have a reputation to uphold, Bite me!”

“Already did, you're delicious.” He teased. Making all the venom in her voice dissolve. She blushed deeply, refusing to look at him.

“Sooo, when did you fall for me?” He asked, grinning. Making her want to spite him, she looked back at him, visor angry, but he had such an earnest look on his face, she frustratingly couldn't stay mad.

She thought back, when did she start feeling this way?

She'd always enjoyed Ns presence, he balanced her out when she was being too edgy and he had always known how to make things fun.

But it was prom. When he'd worn that suit and held her for the first time. When they'd danced and he'd taken so many scary hits for her, being nearly bisected in front of her and collapsing in a puddle of his own oil.

Yes, he had gotten back up. But it'd still scared the life out of her.

“P-prom.” She started. “I thought that fan blade had hit your core. I was so,so scared I was gonna lose you.”

N wasn't sure what he'd been expecting, maybe another “Bite me!” Or another type of “aggressive” deflection that lacked any true bite. He hadn't expected her honest answer, or how her face turned down in the same worry he'd seen that night.

“Same.” His gaze was soft, watching as another purple blush took over her face. Despite her best efforts to look tough, he quite literally saw her edge melt away at the way he was looking at her.

He knew what anger and aggression looked like, it looked like J, looming over him, telling him how useless he was while simultaneously using his body as a stress-ball. Getting herself off on his degredation.

Uzi liked to act aggressive, but in reality it was a shield for herself rather than a sword for others. N wouldn't deny she was tough as nails, but Uzi was undeniably sweet, she craved connection much like himself and right now he wished his first instinct when she touched him or when she was raising her defensive shield at him wasn't to submit, or to flee, or to try to appease someone that he knew deep down wouldn't intentually hurt him.

He wished it was love, something he had in spades and wanted to give but didn't want to be scarred again. Even if all signs pointing to Uzi being as gentle with his heart as he was to hers.

He hadn't realized he'd begun to tear up until he felt Uzi's forehead on his again, the same concerned expression he'd come to expect tonight, her hands on either side of his face.

He kissed her again, much more breifly, before capturing her in his embrace. Dragging her fully into his lap and encapsulating her entire being in his larger chassis.

“One day, when I can't remember what J looks like. I'll let you do whatever you want to me…” He whispered softly, making them both blush like mad. But he didn't backpedal or think Uzi was angry at him anymore. Because she was purring into him, touching his core just over his shirt.

“All I want to do is be good for you.” Now that didn't sound like Uzi, but at the same time it did. Because right now she was unarmoured and N felt so honored to have caused that. He kissed her forehead.

“You are.” Is all he replied with, the credits of the anime scrolling across his screen as he glanced at the screen.

He couldn't wait until he could give himself physically to her. But until he was ready she'd always have him like this, cuddling and holding her as sweetly as she wanted. He could give her that, at least.

They fell asleep like that, with Uzi's hands wrapped around his sides, over his scars.

He didn’t notice.

[buckybarnesisdaddy]

Leave Her Wild pt 1

Summary: Busy morning and first day at the Ranch

Pairings: None official so far! Bucky x Reader, Ari X Reader, original female characters with Sam and Tony.

Warnings: language, drinking, talks of sex, inappropriate acts with guests, talks of being left at the alter & being abandoned, talks of forgetting to eat, overbearing best friend who means well. Probably missed some.

Word count: not gonna say cause then some of you won’t read it. 🤭 It’s long enough!

Dividers by: @firefly-graphics

Masterlist

“You’re just not who I fell in love with. You have no fire, no thoughts of your own. So this wedding is off, I will give you a week to move out of the penthouse. Feel free to take everything I bought you, I know you’ll need the money.” With an icy cold kiss on your forehead he leaves. Your chest feels tight and you can’t catch a breath. Your eyes fill with tears and everything goes black.

The bumping of the uber jolts you awake, the same nightmare as the past 4 months, the stress of the travel must have weighed on you enough to let that slip through… again. You sit up and look around, all your friends are passed out as well, the red eye really did you all dirty but it will be worth it when you see that first Montana Sunrise. It’s slowly peaking over the mountains and painting the sky in bright hues of pink and orange. The uber turns down a long dirt road and brings the ranch into view. It really is stunning, just like the pictures showed. Horses are running over the rolling fields on one side and cattle are grazing in the other. You see two men on horse back that seem to be herding the horses in one direction. The way they move and ride, well let’s just say they look really good. The main house is incredible, with all of the stone work and exposed wood. It’s settled right at the base of the mountain and there is a massive stable and barn next to it. When you were first looking up Dude Ranches you never thought you’d find one like this. The driver stops and turns to you, “We are here Miss. are you going to wake your friends?” You lightly laugh and turn around to shake them awake.

“Hey, wake up. We’re here!” You say before climbing out of the car. Your best friend Natasha wakes up first. She stretches and looks around before shoving your friend Peter off her shoulder.

“Wake up, Pete.” She says not so softly as she climbs over him to open the door and tumble out.

“Ouch! You could have waited!!” Peter shouts as he is stepped all over. Lizzy who was on the other side of the car shoots awake at the yelling.

“Where are we?!” She gasps and then calms down when she sees you. “Oh,” she sighs. “We are finally here?” You hear her climb out and walk towards you.

“Yup,” You take a deep breath and smiles. “And just in time for the sunrise.” You watch as it finally breaks over the mountains, it’s so beautiful you feel tears start to well up. You have to wipe them away before anyone notices. “Okay, you three hang tight, I’m gonna go get us checked in. Amelia, Sam, Tony, and Ransom should be pulling up any minute so keep an eye out!” You shout over your shoulder as you walk to the front door. You knock seeing as it looks to be someone’s actual house but the door is pushed open by your knock and you hear people talking inside, so you slowly walk in to see if you can find the owner.

“For fuck’s sake, Rogers! Barnes! Hurry up and eat, Bazen left the fucking gate open again and all the horses are loose in the east field. Need you two to round ‘em up.” Ari bellows as he stomps down the stairs. Steve nods from where he sits at the bar in the Kitchen. Bucky laughs to himself as he takes the last bite of his breakfast.

“I don’t know why you don’t just fire him, Ari.” Bucky laughs as he squares away his dirty dishes. Steve agrees and goes to grab his jacket from the mud room.

“Because his rich and powerful father wants him here, so he’s here.” Ari sighs, “and you like having a job and a free place to stay, don’t you?” Bucky stays silent, “that’s what I thought, go. We need those horses stabled and resting.” Bucky and Steve head out and Ari calls his thanks over his shoulder as they leave. “Mickey!” Ari yells as he sees the man slouched and laying on the couch, he shoot up at the sound of his name though. “Get up, you need to help Kemp and Jefferson get the guest rooms ready.” Mickey groans and sits up.

“Those freaks? No way, I’d rather help Turner and Jensen shovel the stalls.” Ari sighs and sets his hands on his hips as he looks to the ceiling.

“Then by all means, go do that! Go do something to get this place in order before our guests arrive!” He yells as Mickey jumps to get to work. “And if you see Storm and Collin tell them I need to see ‘em in my office.” Mickey waves over his shoulder as he heads out the back door. Ari grabs his coffee and heads to his office on the first floor of the house, the sun isn’t even up yet and he’s already on his second cup when Johnny and Collin come walking into the room.

“Sup, boss?” Johnny says as he jumps over the back of the arm chair and plops down in it, propping his feet up on Ari’s desk. Ari rolls his eyes and smacks his feet off and then glares at Collin to stop laughing and sit.

“What’s ‘sup’ is, we have a new group coming in today, there is 7 of them so I need you two to move out to the spare bunk room in the barn. We just fixed the heat so it should be good.”

Johnny groans and Collin shakes his head.

“We have to share with Kemp and Jefferson?!” Collin exclaims.

“I’d rather sleep in a tent.” Johnny says flatly. Ari stands up and grabs his empty coffee cup.

“I don’t care where you chose to lay your pretty little head, Johnny,” Johnny looks at Collin and pretends to swoon.

“You hear that? He called me pretty!” Collin laughs and Johnny gives Ari a shit eating grin.

Ari set his mug down, rests his hands on his desk and leans forward.

“Get your shit out of the bedrooms upstairs, now. And then go back and clean them up, they need to be spotless by 7am.” He then stands up straight and leaves his own office and the two grumpy men.

7am rolls around and all the men are gathered in the living room for their morning meeting. “Alright, everyone shut up! We have a lot to cover this morning.” Ari yells over them all and they finally shut up. “Rogers and Barnes are off this morning due to having to clean up Baizen’s mess of the gate last night.”

“I said I was sorry! I was running late for a date.” He smirks and the other guys wolf whistle. Ari pretends to laugh.

“And because of that you’ll need to cancel whatever date you have scheduled for tonight, you’ll have the first watch in the barn.” Carter curses under his breath and Ari just smile. “Kemp, we have a group of 7 checking in today and they will be here for,” he double checks his clipboard and whistles, “shit I forgot this is the extended stay group. They are here till June. So get ready to be on Kitchen duty for the foreseeable future- and for the love of God, STOP with the cannibalism joke!! No one thinks they are funny and in fact we’ve had guest call the police on you because they are actually scared we are feeding them humans, so just stop it or you’re fired.” Kemp rolls his eyes.

“People just can’t take jokes anymore.” He shakes his head and Collin scoffs.

“Dude! You told a lady she was ‘good enough to eat’ and then pretended to bite her! You’re lucky Andy talked her down and swooned her out of pressing charges!” He yells and the other guys back him up. Kemp just shrugs.

“To each their own, but fine I’ll stop.” He raises his hands and Ari thanks him.

“Jefferson? Laundry.” He says shortly and Jefferson just nods. “Mickey and Jensen you are on Milk cows, honey collection, and harvesting duty today. Cole you’re off till this afternoon and you’ll help Rogers and Barnes with getting the cattle moved to the lower field.”

“You got it boss.” Cole says agreeably.

“Okay that just leaves, Johnny, Collin, and Carter, You three are on dog training today. They have their test next week and they need to pass so we can get them sold to the interested Ranches.” Johnny raises his hand and smiles, so Ari knows his question is gonna piss him off.

“What?” He asks, already regretting it.

“So who is this new group and who is showing them around today?” He crosse his arms and then tilts his head as he asks, “And what are you and Andy gonna be doing, boss??” Heavy footsteps are heard coming into the room as if on cue.

“I’m gonna do whatever I damn well please cause this place is half mine and your sorry ass works for me.” Andy smiles. “And if I were you, I’d remember my place more often.” He grabs a mug and pours himself a cup of coffee. Ari laughs and agrees.

“What he said!” Ari gives Johnny that shit eating smile back and Johnny rolls his eyes. “But about our guests, 4 males and 4 females, They should be here soon. They all seem very nice and shouldn’t be too much trouble. But seeing as it is mostly women that make up the group, those of you who are on probation when interacting with guests alone,” he looks at Johnny, Collin, Kemp, and Jefferson, “should remember that probation is the last straw, step out of line again and you’re gone.

“Can we not call it that?” Kemp asks, “cause it sounds like we’ve tried to get rapey with them or something and we haven’t.”

“No you’ve just joke about eating them,” Carter snaps back and gives a ‘wtf’ look to the sky and anyone who was watching him, it earns a few laughs. “And not eating them in the good way.” He teases and Johnny reaches back and they high-five. Kemp flicks his ear and he turns and punches his leg.

“Enough!” Andy shouts. “As the lawyer in the room I feel I should say that even joking like that can still catch you a case, hence the probation.” Ari sighs, this is not how he likes to start his mornings.

“Look, we know you haven’t done anything wrong, you just get weird with the guests.” He gives a sorrowful look to Jefferson who shrugs. “Or you have inappropriate relationships with them while they are here.” He looks at Johnny and Collin.

“I have no idea what you mean,” Collin says nonchalantly and Andy laughs loudly.

“Yeah, your naked ass and some lady pressed up against the side of our barn on our security tapes beg to differ.” Ari points at Andy, confirming the words he took right out of Ari’s mouth.

“Anyway, remember to keep any sexual relation with guests to a minimum, preferably none at all!” A knock on the door interrupts him and then the sound of boots walking on the hardwood make all their heads turn.

“Oh!” You gasp, the amount of handsome men staring back at you makes you blush and you feel a little flustered for a moment. But you catch a breath and just smile as you talk. “I’m so sorry, I knocked and the door opened. Umm I’ll just go wait outside.” You turn to leave and someone calls after you.

“No, come on in!” The guy with a clipboard, hair to be jealous of, and a beard that looks like it would feel so soft to touch, walks closer and extends his hand. “Hi I’m Ari, part owner and this here is Andy the other owner. You must be-” you say your name, knowing he had probably forgotten it since you booked. “Well it is nice to meet you in person, welcome to Mountain Valley Retreat.” His smile is sweet and his hand shake is firm. “Is the rest of your party here?” He asks, looking over your shoulder.

“Oh, yes they are all waiting by the cars.” You explain.

“Well how about you go get them and we can show you to your rooms.” Ari offers. “Then once you all are settled we can give you a little tour.” You agree and turn to head back out to the car to grab your friends and your stuff. But before you do the front door swings open and in steps two men, both dressed in big jackets, jeans, boots, and a cowboy hat to match. The first guy lifts his off and his blonde hair shines in the morning sun. He is handsome, boy next door handsome. The second man shakes off his jacket and hangs it on the rack next to the door and places his hat over it. He turns and meets your gaze, his blue eyes pierce your soul and his brown hair a little longer but not long enough to tie back. He is just as handsome as the first and you are speechless. They are both solid, strong men who have clearly worked day in and day out on a farm.

“Howdy ma’am,” the second man says with a polite nod of his head and a simple smile. The first man finally notices you.

“Oh!” He looks past you to Ari, “you must be our new guest!” He brushes his hand off on his pants. “Nice to meet you, I’m Steve!” You shake his hand and introduce yourself. “This here is-“

“James, but everyone calls me Bucky.” He offers his hand and you shake it, wishing your voice would work to say more than ‘hi’. Ari steps up behind you.

“These two are our best cowboys! Steve rogers and Bucky Barnes. They are gonna be the ones teaching you and your friends about horse riding and the works. But first we need to get you all settled, go ahead out and I’ll send some guys to help with your luggage.” You nod and head out the front door, passing a look to Steve and then Bucky before fully turning around and leaving. It’s quiet for a moment when there is a wolf whistle, Bucky, Steve, and Ari turn around and look at a smirking Johnny.

“So what was that about keeping the sexual relations to a minimum or we will be on probation?? Cause that right there is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen. She’s soft and sweet, and mmhmm. Yes!” He teases and shoots a look to Bucky and Ari. Who have both turned back to watch you in the front drive. “And it looks like Barnes along with you, boss are gonna be on the Probation squad soon!” Johnny continues to tease, Bucky doesn’t say a word, just plops his hat back on his head and heads out to your car. Steve sighs and gives Johnny the middle finger before following Bucky. Ari clears his throat and shakes his head and turns to Johnny.

“Shut the hell up and get to work.” He grumbles, Andy walks up to him and pats his shoulder.

“You may have to rethink the probation and firing or you’ll have no one left by May.” Andy lightly laughs and then squeezes his shoulders, “let loose and maybe you’ll find your new pet,” he winks before heading to his office.

You head back to the uber, Natasha notices your flushed face. “Girl you okay?” She asks as she laughs. You shake your head and smile, moving in close you whisper.

“Hot men- and I mean H.O.T men filled that room in there,” you laugh and rub your forehead. “We aren’t going to last the summer.” Natasha smirks and looks over your shoulder.

“Oh well I think one of them is coming over here now.” She teases you. Your eyes widen and you try not to smile.

“Big Blonde, Big Brunette, or Big Hippie?” You ask and she bites her lip.

“Does it matter?” She asks as she looks him up and down, you can hear his boots getting closer and closer.

“Natasha?!” You exclaim

“Big Brunette, really big. Mmhmm” she teases. “Wow I’d like to ride that.” She mumbles and you laugh and give her a shove.

“Get in line.” You quip and turn around right as he arrives. “Oh, Bucky! Hi! This is Natasha.” He spares her a glance and nods his head politely.

“Ma’am,” he says and then looks back to you. “Can I help with any of the bags?” You look behind you and blush, suddenly very self conscious of how many bags you brought.

“Oh umm sure,” you say and he scoots between you and Natasha. He scoops up four different suitcases. Two under each arm and two in his hands. He turns and nods over his shoulder.

“Go ahead and grab your personal bags and follow me.” He smiles, “I’ll show you to your rooms.” He turns and walks towards the house. Natasha leans in and teases.

“Giddy up girl.” She smacks your ass and You laugh. You grab your book bag and purse and follow after Bucky. Steve and another man pass by you two to help grab the other bags. The other man is cute, he has glasses and spiky blonde hair. He looks at you and keeps looking as you keep walking. You giggle and wave before turning back to Bucky. Another man about runs into Bucky as he is walking through the door. He is tall and cute, seems a little clumsy. Steve calls him over.

“Cole! Over here,” Steve waves from the trunk. “Got a few more bags from this car.” He shuffles down the stairs and goes to help Steve. Bucky sets the bags down in the foyer as he talks to Ari.

“The rooms aren’t ready yet,” Ari sighs. “That’s what I get for telling Johnny and Collin to clean up after themselves.” He looks at you and then smiles. “So we are finishing up with the rooms and we will get you all settled soon! How about you set your stuff here and we will do the tour. And hopefully after the rooms will be ready and we will get you moved up there. Sound good?” He asks.

“Oh of course!” You lightly laugh, “I promise Mr. Levinson we are a very chill group. None of this is a problem, I promise!” You assure him. He laughs and looks down at his feet as he blushes.

“Well thank you, and you can just call me Ari.” He says and fidgets with his clipboard.

“Okay, Ari.” You answer sweetly. You glance from Bucky to Ari and then shuffle where you stand. Amelia, Lizzy, and Natasha save the day by walking in, giggling and talking in hushed voices. “Oh these are my friends Amelia,”

“Hi,” she bats her eyelashes at them both. Amelia is a tall brunette with sun-kissed skin that you dream of. She is a reformed party girl who has too many stories about you from college. You laugh.

“Lizzy,” she giggles and cover her mouth as she gives a little wave. Lizzy is a short blonde who was a cheerleader in college and would have married her college boyfriend had he actually ever proposed. You shake your head. “And Natasha,”

“Well hello,” she smirks and leans against you. Natasha is a beautiful redhead with striking green eyes. She’s is the epitome of ‘looks like she could kill you, would kill you.’ She’s also been your best friend since childhood. You blush and wished your friends weren’t horn dogs.

“Anyway, these are my friends and hopefully they won’t be too much trouble this summer.” You laugh and give Natasha a nudge and she just laughs. Ari smirks and looks at each of them.

“Well it’s very nice to meet you all. There were men with your group too, right?” He asks checking his clipboard. Bucky looks at you and you see a little smile in his eyes. Natasha speaks for you.

“Yup! They are getting all their stuff out of the car and dragging it in.” She smirks at you, “and they are just friends, no attachments to the two of us.” She puts her arm around you and you blush, completely mortified. “Only those two are in a relationships,” she points to Lizzy and Amelia, “we are free as birds.” She bites her lip as she looks back behind her to where Steve is lifting two suitcases clear over his head. Ari laughs and you can see the blush spread across his cheeks, Bucky looks you up and down and tries to hide the smile that breaks across his face.

“So about that tour?” You quickly change the subject. Ari clears his throat and tries to get a control on his flushed face. There is a loud commotion behind you on the stairs on the house. Tony, Peter, Sam, and Ransom are all trying to haul their luggage up by themselves, Steve, Cole, and the guy with glasses that you didn’t catch his name yet are stuck behind them. Steve doesn’t look to be breaking a sweat, Cole and the other guy look like they could use a rest for a moment. It makes you giggle. Bucky sighs and walks past you,

“Excuse me, ma’am.” He whispers as he passes, you slide to the side and watch as he walks straight up to Ransom, Peter, and Tony, grabs their bags from them, and throws them over his shoulders as he brings them inside. Tony scoffs and just follows, Peter looks embarrassed, Ransom calls out a thanks and then falls in line. You turn to face Ari again and you feel an arm drape over your shoulders, you know who it is without looking.

“So, when does the party start!” Ransom asks and squeezes your shoulder. “Speaking for everyone I think we could use some drinks.” He laughs and Tony agrees. Ari looks at Bucky and then over your shoulder to Steve, he nods and they both understand what he’s saying without even uttering a word.

“Actually we don’t party till tonight,” Ari explains. “We have to work before we can just slack off and lucky for you fellas you got here at the start of the day!” You sneak a look at Bucky, his smile has a hint of a mischievous nature, he winks and then gets real serious.

“So if you men will follow me,” Bucky turns and walks out the front door, “we need to get you dressed and in the field.” He walks down the steps and then turns back when he realizes no one if following him. “We are burning daylight!” He hollers, “you wanna eat and party, well you gotta work for your food. Let’s go!” Something about the authoritative voice and serious expression makes the men jump to follow. “Rogers bring up the rear!” Bucky heads to the barn and the four guys follow behind. Peter looks back at you and you gently smile and wave.

“Okay ladies,” Ari pulls your attention back to him, he smiles. “How about some mimosas?”

The thick wrangler jeans land on the ground in front of Ransom and he stares down at them in disgust. A t-shirt and button up carhart shirt is tossed at him and hits him square in the chest. “You’re insane if you think I’m wearing this,” he says sharply. Bucky shrugs and continues to toss the clothes to the others. Sam and Peter are already changing and Tony is begrudgingly picking the clothes up as they are throw his way.

“Suit yourself, but those loafers and kakis won’t do you any good as you help shovel horse shit.” Bucky explains. “And no, we won’t send them out for dry cleaning if they get messed up.”

He laughs as he looks Ransom up and down and then turns away. Tony picks up the clothes and shoves them in his arms.

“Get dressed and stop pouting, it’s giving you early wrinkles.” Tony teases and Ransom grumbles as he changes. Sam and Peter are already dressed and messing around, shoving each other and tipping their hats and stuff. “This is gonna be a long 4 months.” Tony mumbles and sits his hat on his head before walking to join the others. Steve passes by Ransom.

“You’re burning daylight, get changed.” He leaves Ransom alone in the back room of the barn.

Natasha won’t stop smirking as she sips her mimosa. She glances at Ari and then back at you. “So Ari? Any woman working on this Ranch?” Ari turns around and looks between Natasha and you.

“Oh, umm no.” He fidgets. “An all male staff, I hope that’s alright.” He says, glancing your way and then back to her. The smirk she gives him makes your stomach drop because you know she’s up to something.

“Oh Ari, that’s perfect.” She finishes her glass and then stands up. “So this tour-” She asks but is interrupted by someone walking out of the office off the living room.

“Ari, we need to talk when you have a minute,” he is staring down at some papers in hand. He finally glances up and sees the 4 women sitting in front of him. “Oh! These must be the rest of our guests!” He smiles and crosses the room, “I’ve met one of you already,” he smiles at you, “but I haven’t had the pleasure with the rest. I’m Andy, Ari’s business partner.” He smiles sweetly, Natasha narrows her gaze and looks between the two men before walking to stand in front of Andy.

“Oh, I’m sure you’re a great team,” she says as she looks him up and down. Andy smirks and then lightly laughs as he looks down at her.

“I run the books, he runs this place and he does what he’s told. Pretty good setup if you ask me.” He answers, and something about that makes you a little hot. Natasha blushes and then backs down, you’ve never seen her back down when flirting with a man. You give her a look and she blushes even more. “Anyway,” Andy smirks, “I’m sure Ari is treating you right. I see the men are already being put to work?”

Ari laughs, “yeah, Barnes and Rogers are giving them the special welcome.” Amelia laughs.

“Why does that sound dirty?” Lizzy scoffs,

“Cause you three are hornier than a teenage boy at the beach in the summer.” Andy laughs.

“It’s some kind of hazing, isn’t it?” She asks. Andy and Ari exchange a look.

“Well, when they come in acting like they owned the place we needed to be shown to them they in fact, don’t.” Ari explains with a wicked smile that makes you laugh.

“Oh good, Ransom’s gonna love that.” You exclaim and all the girls laugh along. “But I think Peter and Sam should have gotten a pass, they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.”

Andy and Ari look at each other again and Andy shrugs. Ari goes to grab his walkie talky from the kitchen.

“Barnes? Send Boy wonder and mister manners to the house. Over.” Ari waits a minute and then he gets a response.

“Copy that. What about Silver spoon and Hefner wannabe? Over” Bucky answers back.

You laugh and look at the other girls, you all can’t help but giggle at the nicknames the guys have already earned. Ari smirks and looks back at you before answering Bucky back.

“Leave them shoveling the shit and when they are done let them get cleaned up. Over” Ari lays his walkie down and he heres a “Roger that” as he walks back over to where you girls are sitting. Peter and Sam come walking in the front door, Natasha whistles and Sam spins around and tips his hat. Peter blushes and looks from you to Natasha. Amelia walks over and looks Sam over.

“Looking good, Babe!” She kisses his cheek and he pulls her close. "Oh but you smell like shit.” He grumbles and you all laugh.

“Yeah yeah, laugh all you want but now you’re stuck with my stinky ass till I can shower.” He hugs her tight and she screams as he lifts her up and spins her around. Lizzy sighs,

“I’m sure Tony is gonna be in the worst mood after this. But he deserves it, especially after his attitude with me this morning.” Peter laughs.

“Can you blame him? You shoved the guy in the car with Ransom, that would make anyone a little testy.” Peter justifies and Lizzy just shakes her head.

Ari and Andy just listen to the group of you talk, Andy sees Ari watching you and Natasha, he is so smitten and small, it starts to rub Andy the wrong way and eventually Andy nods for Ari to follow him, so he excuses himself and finds Andy in the office. “Ari,” Andy says, voice firm and authoritative.

“Don’t start,” Ari sighs and tries to walk out, Andy stops him.

“Ari sit down, now.” Not a request but a command. Ari grumbles but he does it. “All I was gonna say is you are acting like a blushing bride with those two women, which I do find rather adorable,” he teases and Ari rolls his eyes and laughs, wiping his sweat-less brow before meeting Andy’s gaze again. “But when it comes to ladies, you’re not like that.” Andy crosses his arms and stares him down, “get out there and be Hard-ass Ari, stop with this blushing and stumbling over your words.” He straightens up and walks closer to the man sitting in the armchair, “Go, be a big strong man and catch their eyes before Barnes and Rogers do. Find your little ‘pet’’.” Ari stands up and goes to leave but stops and faces Andy.

“What’s your obsession with me finding my own ‘pet’? Ever since Jane left you’ve been riding my ass about it.” Ari asks.

“Well one it’s cause you have a great ass,” Andy states matter of factly and Ari rolls his eyes again. “And two it’s cause you need someone to take care of. You need to meet that caregiver need of yours, so go out there and put your charms on one of those women.” Ari looks at the ground and then back at Andy.

“You think I’m just gonna take that order and hop to it?” He asks and Andy smirks.

“It’s what you do best, Ari.”

Ari huffs out a laugh and shakes his head as he grumbles, he turns around, ready to follow the order Andy just gave.

*****************************************************

When the two men disappear Natasha turns to you and garbs your hands, “Please for your own sake, go to Paris with those two men.” You are speechless and look around to see if the others heard her, they didn’t.

“Natasha” you hiss and she smirks, “what makes you think they are-“

“Did you see them? Did you hear Andy?! He was all ‘I run the place and Ari follows orders well.’ He was NOT meaning Ari is a good business partner.” You shake your head and Natasha physically stops you, taking your face in her hands. “You need to get between those two men and let them have their way with you, cause I’m scared if you don’t you’re gonna fall head over heels for that tall, handsome cowboy and that is not what you need after your literal wedding was called off.” You deflate, honestly you hadn’t thought about him or the wedding since you stepped out of the uber this morning. “I’m sorry, babes. I don’t mean to bring down the mood. But you don’t need to catch feelings and I know you- you will catch feelings for that cowboy. But you’ll have a great time and be able to move on as friends with Daddy and Daddier.” You lightly laugh and sigh, removing her hands from your face and lean back to look up at the ceiling. “You haven’t had your rebound, so rebound between those two hunks and call it a day.”

“I’ll see,” you agree and Natasha about squeals. Peter looks over.

“What are you two squealing about?” He asks, Natasha smirks and blows him a kiss.

“Oh nothing Pete, just some rebounding fun.” She winks at you and you lightly shove her. Peter laughs and sits next to you on the couch.

“You’re like my sister, so please don’t sleep with any of these men. They aren’t worth you.” He begs and you laugh.

“Peter you don’t even know them! And I wasn’t agreeing to it, I was just thinking about it.” You exclaim and Peter just shakes his head. The back door opens and in walks Steve. He smiles and takes off his hat.

“Just wanted to warn you all that those two guys are about done and they are not happy so, maybe make yourselves scarce.” He says and then leaves out the door he came in. You all laugh and stay exactly where you are. Bucky walks in the back door in the mudroom with the biggest smile on his face, a shit covered Ransom walks behind him and a dirt covered Tony falls in line behind.

“Alright you two, go hit the showers and then we can start on the tour.” Bucky says and points to the shower room off the mudroom. They both grumble and do as they are told, not noticing you all sitting there and watching. He turns to you and your heart flutters as you meet his gaze, his eyes are so blue and his smile makes you feel safe. You take a breath and look at Natasha,

"Okay you’re right. I’ll fall in love with him, so give me the two big men.” Natasha smirks and nods as she looks over her shoulder, the sound of Ari returning peaking her interest.

“Speak of the devil” she whispers and you blush before turning around and staring firmly at the ground.

“Are you shitting me?!” Ransom screams, “you were all in here drinking and laughing while I shoveled literal shit for an hour?!” He looks back at Ari and then Bucky who are both smiling ear to ear. Bucky tips his hat and then straightens up from where he was leaning on the wall.

“Maybe next time you’ll walk into someone else’s house with a little more respect.” Bucky says, his tone makes a shiver run down your back and you look to Natasha to hide the fact that you liked it. She glares at you and mouths ‘no’, you smile anyway and then look back at both men.

“Alright how about you all follow Barnes and Rogers to the Barn and we will get you all ready for our tour.” He looks down at the choice of footwear you ladies had, “and we will get you all some proper riding boots too.” You follow Steve out to the Barn, you can feel Bucky’s gaze on you and you don’t hate it. He gently ushers you to the side when he is getting around you to help Steve with the saddles, the small graze of his hand makes you want to melt. Who knew you were so touch starved. You look at Natasha and she sighs, coming up along side you.

“Yes he is perfect, and handsome, and a gentleman, and probably the exact guy you should date and marry. But are you ready for that type of man after-“ you glare at her, making sure she doesn’t say his name. She doesn’t, “get his number, become friends, rebound with those two men and when you are fully healed over the trauma of the monster from hell, give him a call. Don’t make him a rebound,” she whispers and you sigh knowing she is right. Bucky and Steve get all the horses saddled and ready. They start helping everyone into their horses, Sam helps Amelia and Tony tries to help Lizzy but she ends up waiting for Steve to boost her up. Tony huffs and gets on his horse with minimal struggle, thanks to the step stool. Natasha swings herself up on her horse and impresses Steve who was standing by to help, she tosses him a little wink before looking over at you. She sighs as she sees Bucky making his way over. You are trying to figure it out for yourself but almost fall on your ass in doing so, two strong arms catch you and haul you up to your feet.

“Careful there,” the low voices rumbles quietly. You turn and meet Bucky’s gaze, “Need some help?” He asks and you can’t find the words so you just nod. He lifts you by your waist and sets you right on top on the horses back, completely effortless. You straddle the horse and graze Bucky’s hands as he hands you the reigns. He gives a polite pat to the horses neck and is off to his own horse. You watch as he climbs on the back of his horse, his literal white horse. You look at Natasha who just shakes her head and laughs. Ari walks into the barn and right past you and up to his horse, Bucky had gotten the steed ready for him. He hops on the back and guides the horse around with so much ease.

“Okay, so some of our men will be placed along the group to help guide the horses if they start misbehaving. This here is Cole,” the clumsy man from early waves, “Carter,” the pretty boy who looks like he’s only ridden a horse to play polo just nods, “Jensen,” the guy with glasses who helped with the bags earlier tips his hat, “and of course you know Bucky and Steve.” They both wave and it’s not lost on you that they have made their way behind you and Natasha in this lineup. “We have a lot of men on staff, some you haven’t met yet. You’ll meet them soon enough. We will take you around the property and tell you about our day to day lives and what will be happening while you’re here. Okay if we are all saddled,” he looks at Ransom who has finally mounted his horse and grumbles about it. “We will be on our way,” Ari turns his horse and leads out the back of the Barn on the trail.

The countryside is so beautiful you could cry. Ari explains how you all came at a time where they will be working a lot with moving the cattle for spring and that there will probably be quite a few baby animals born while you’re here. He shows you all the different barns and where the animals are kept. Chickens, goats, sheep, cattle, even pigs and Dogs. There is literally a whole farm on this Ranch along with a garden and bees for honey. It’s like a homesteading dream. The whole time Ari keeps glancing back towards you and Natasha. And you keep seeing Bucky looking at you as you look to the side at Natasha. Steve is friendly and hits it off with Sam, turns out they both served in the army around the same time. Bucky too. Ransom, Tony, and Carter are kinda grumpy in the back of the line, Peter is enjoying the sights and chatting with Ari, Amelia and Lizzy are taking selfies and talking with Cole and Jensen. Bucky moves his horse in between yours and Natasha’s, “So where are yall from?” He asks. You look over to him and start to answer but Natasha speaks for you.

“We are from New York City," she says, You notice a little smile break across Bucky’s face and then he looks over to you. He notices your left hand and the tan line there on your ring finger.

“What part?” He asks and again Natasha answers.

“Upper East Side.” She says shortly. You see the realization about what that tan line means spread across his face and then he reacts to what Natasha just said as he nods as he whistles.

“Fancy digs,” he says “too fancy for a Brooklyn boy like me.” He says as he gives a sad little smile. He lets his horse slow down a bit to fall back behind you. You turn and look at him, forgetting about the trail in front of you.

“You’re from New York too?!” You ask, hopeful. He smiles and nods.

“I am, go home every so often to visit my mama. I love it there but I needed a change after the Army. I found the ranch and Ari and well…. I guess there hasn’t been any reason enough to move back to the city and away from all this beauty.” He nods the to mountains surrounding them. You make an agreeable noise and turn back around, Natasha is just facing forward shaking her head, she knows you’re already smitten. You pull up to a little clearing and all dismount your horses, there are some picnic tables set up and food already waiting for lunch.

“Wow, the service is impeccable.” Tony says and Lizzy laughs and pokes his side. Bucky helps you down and before you can say thank you Ransom is by your side pulling you along to sit.

“Okay, so when I heard ‘Dude ranch’ I didn’t except to actually be working on a ranch for 4 months.” He says and you just laugh as you shove him off of you.

Lunch is delicious and fresh and hits the spot after being in the sun for a few hours. The horses are resting and you all sit around the table while Ari tells you about the Ranch. “Everyone goes by nicknames or their last name.” He explains. Ransom speaks up,

“Well what’s yours then, Chief?” He quips. Steve answers,

“Hard-Ass,” everyone laughs and Ari shrugs and smiles.

“I like a tightly run ship, what can I say.” He says,

“Well this is a ranch so,” Steve joke and he gets a strawberry to the face for it, he catches it in his mouth though. “Let’s see who else? Oh! Cole is Ghost” Amelia laughs.

“Umm why?” She asks and Cole blushes and sighs.

“Because I have a tendency to get Ghosted.” He says sheepishly, all the women awe and refuse to believe that, the guys laugh. You slap Ransom’s arm and he nudges you back. Steve starts again.

“Jensen is just-Jensen, Carter is usually called by his last name- Baizen-“ you and Natasha look at one another, Tony and Ransom laugh.

“Wait?! Carter Baizen as in-“ you start and Tony finishes.

“The one that got shipped off to pay back his debts?!” He laughs and tosses a strawberry in the air and catches it in his mouth. “This is great!” Steve looks to Carter who just rolls his eyes and then back to the group.

“Yall know him??” He asks and Ransom answers.

“Bet your ass we do, I knew you looked familiar! You still owe me 10 grand.” Ransom says and the other ranch hands look at him and just shake their heads.

“Classic,” Bucky mutters. Steve quickly changes the subject.

“Anyway, um we call Bucky, Barnes or Sarge. And they call me Rogers or Cap.”

“Wait were you a Sargent and Captain when enlisted?” Sam asks. “I am not saluting while shoveling shit.” He jokes and Steve laughs.

“Yeah we were and don’t worry, we won’t make you.” He jokes. You look at Bucky and he looks a little embarrassed to have attention on him.

“Well what about us?” Peter asks, “do we have nicknames?” You girls laugh and nod.

“Oh yeah, Boy wonder, Mister manners, Silver Spoon, and Hefner Wannabe.” You tease and they all look at each other and point to try and figure out who is who. You giggle and just take in the sight of being surrounded with your oldest friends and hopefully some new ones. Natasha smirks and sits up straight.

“Well I want a nickname!” She exclaims and Ransom laughs.

“You have one, Black widow.” He says creepily and you all laugh, She scoffs and Steve speaks up.

“Umm why are you nicknamed after a deadly spider that kills her mate?” He honestly looks a little scared. Natasha smirks and leans forward grazing her fingers across the back of his hand.

“Because sweetheart, I eat men alive,” she sits back, “and they always come back for more.” She bites her lip and looks him up and down, you swear you see him gulp and then blush. Amelia laughs and then pipes in

“Well you can just call me by my name, Amelia.”

Lizzy agrees.

“Me too, just Lizzy.” She says sweetly as she leans her head on Tony’s shoulder. You look a little shy as everyone looks to you.

“Well? What are you going by?” Steve asks and you blush.

“Oh, I don’t know,” you shrug, “come up with something!” You laugh. They all start conversing on what to call you, Bucky is still quiet until he meets your gaze.

“Sunshine,” everyone turns to look at Bucky. He keeps your gaze, “your nickname should be sunshine.” He gently smiles and then stands from the table. “I’m gonna go check the horses,” he looks up at the sky, “we should be getting back, Hard-Ass.” He says and everyone lets out a chuckle. Ari agrees.

“Yeah, it’s gonna take even longer to get back so we should get a move on. Everyone load up, we pull out in 10.” Everyone leaves the table, you are still stuck in your spot, having been glued there by Bucky’s gaze.

“So, Sunshine,” Natasha teases, “What are we gonna do with you?” You blush and shove her away as she laughs. You laugh and head to find your horse.

“And that brings us back to the main house.” Ari says as he stops and turns his horse to face the whole group. “We are gonna head back to the Barn, the guys will give you all the proper procedures on how to care for the horses after a ride and then we will take you all to your rooms to rest and get ready for dinner.” You trot your horse to the barn and get it in the stall. You hop off and see Steve coming your way.

“Well, Sunshine,” he says and you turn to see the big smile on his face. “Let’s get Princess settled, huh?!” You look between him and the horse and realized you didn’t even know your horses name.

“Princess? Thats her name?” You ask and Steve laughs.

“Well that’s his name.” He laughs and so do you.

“What?!” You exclaim and Steve continues to laugh.

“He is a diva and drama queen, the name was fitting.” He shrugs and you just laugh again. He helps get the saddle off and teaches you how to brush Princess out. You enjoy every moment you have with Steve, he is sweet and you just feel at home. Something you haven't felt in a long time. “Okay, you’re all done. You wanna see your room? I can have someone show you up.”

“Sure, thanks!”

“No problem, hey Sarge come here!” Steve looks over his shoulder at you and smirks. You gasp and because he feels like a long lost best friend, you punch his shoulder. He laughs and winks before Bucky arrives.

“What?” He grumbles before he sees you. His face lights up.

“She needs to know where her room is, you wanna take her?” Steve explains, he must be giving Bucky some faces cause Bucky is just staring at him and then smiles and laughs.

“Sure thing, right this way.” He turns and walks out of the stall and Steve pushes you to follow. You catch up to Bucky as he reaches the steps of the house.

“If you’re busy I’m sure I can just find my way around,” you offer, “I don’t want to keep you from work.” Bucky turns and smiles as he stops in his tracks.

“Sunshine,” the way it falls off his lips makes you want to kiss him senseless. “You aren’t keeping me from anything, I promise.” You blush and look at your feet.

“You promise?” You ask and he lightly laughs and confirms again.

“I promise, follow me.” He leads you into the main house, you see the bags are gone, probably already in the rooms. “You have room all to yourself, private balcony and full standing shower and separate tub.” Bucky explains as he leads you up the stairs. You feel flushed as you glance at his ass, it’s a pretty great ass.

“Oh goodness, I hope that doesn’t put anyone else out!” You exclaim as you realize the grandness of what he just said. “I don’t need a private room!” Bucky smiles and looks back at you.

“Take it up with the boss,” he shrugs and then continues to lead the way. You follow behind quietly, as you get to the second floor you are in awe, you didn’t realize how big this place really is. There is a whole landing with another living room and entertainment center. Along with a little library off to the side in a little nook. “Okay, your room is back this way,” he leads you along through the second living room and through a little landing area that looks over the first floor. This hallway has 6 rooms, four of them say “private residence” and the other 2 just have numbers on the door. “Right here, room 1” Bucky leans up against the wall and knocks on the number plate on the door. “Natasha is room two right next door, and yes there is a door that conjoins them if you want to unlock it.” You laugh and thank him. You both reach for the handle and end up basically holding hands. “Oh ha, umm sorry.” He blushes and gently pulls his hand back. You giggle and cover your face.

“I’m sorry, I’m not normally this- well- girly and giggly.” You explain and Bucky just smiles. He opens the door and motions for you to head inside.

“It’s okay,” he assures you, “I like it.” He smiles and you blush even more. He then clears his throat and gets pretty serious for a moment. “I do want to ask, and if it’s out of line ma’am then I’m sorry,” he shuffles in the doorway, “I could help but notice your ring finger, are you involved with someone? Or were?” He asks and for the first time ever you didn’t feel pain or hurt at the thought of telling anyone about him, you felt like you would be seen, like you would be safe. You look down at the tan line and sigh.

“I was,” you simply say, “I was supposed to get married back in December but he-“ you stop for a moment and then take a breath. “He called it off.” Bucky’s eyes are so sad for you, he goes to move and then remembers he is in his muddy boots, he looks at the carpet and curses under his breath.

“I- I’m so sorry,” he says your real name, “you didn’t deserve that.” You give a sad smile and nod.

“Yeah, well there is way more to that story than meets the eye,” you look at him and your breath catches again, “and maybe once we know each other a little better I’ll be ready to talk about it.” You explain, Bucky nods.

“I understand,” he says before “whenever you’re ready, I’m here.” He lightly laughs, “and hey maybe I’ll tell you about my own personal runaway bride experience.” He says and your heart stops, he gets it. In this moment, this is why you felt safe and like you could tell him and he would catch you, he’s lived it.

“I’d like that,” you answer and then realize how stupid that sounded, “I mean,” you blush and stumble over your words, “not that it’s great- I would love to talk about- shared life experiences and stuff- I’m just gonna stop.” You finally say and Bucky just stands there with a smile and a chuckle.

“You’re cute,”He says before turning to leave. “See you at dinner.” He waves before he disappears into one of the private rooms right next to yours.

*****************************************************

“I’m such a fucking idiot,” Bucky groans and Steve laughs before he kicks Bucky’s leg. He is lying back on his bed and Steve has come to laugh at him in his misery. “ ‘You’re cute,’?!? That sounds like something a friend would say, or Cole!” He groans. “Ugh and Ari is about to try and get her into bed with him and Andy, I just know it.” Steve hums in agreement.

“Does that make you mad?” Steve asks.

“I mean a little but she’s not mine, she’s her own woman and if she wants to sleep with him then fine. I’ll play the long game, be there for her.” Bucky explains, Steve listens and smiles.

“Awww you really like her!” He gushes and Bucky sits up just to punch him in the arm.

“Oh whatever, go let Natasha eat you for Dinner or something.” Bucky grumbles and Steve laughs.

“I just might,” he says under his breath and Bucky laughs. “Look Ari and Andy are good guys and our friends, if she’s gonna sleep with someone at least it’s them and not Johnny or Collin.” Bucky shivers at the thought. “And hey, maybe she’s not even thinking like that! Just cause she’s blushing and stuff doesn’t mean she’s about to hop in bed.” Bucky sighs and looks at Steve.

“I heard Boy wonder talking to Silver spoon about how the girls were discussing who she should rebound with.” Bucky explains. “That's why I was grumpy when you called me over in the barn, that’s when I had heard them.”

“Oh, well… let her rebound and then pull out all the stops, she will come running. I just know it!” Steve says encouragingly. “Anyway, you smell like shit and so do I- I’m gonna go shower and change. So should you, also wash your sheets cause you being all in your feelings, you laid on your clean bed in your dirt covered clothes.” Steve says as he walks out and across the hall to his room, he glances and sees the light on underneath your door and Natasha’s. He laughs and goes to get cleaned up.

You change your dress for a third time and opt for a simple blue tunic dress and some vans. You curl your hair and put on some simple makeup before knocking on the joining door to Natasha’s room. It swings open, “help me zip this up?” She asks. She seems to have pulled out all the stops and is in a tight black dress.

“Well hello to you too,” you tease as you zip up her dress. “You know we are eating around a bonfire, right?” She turns and smirks,

“Yup, but that pit won’t be the only thing on fire tonight.” She winks and you laugh and then boo her.

“Oh booo that was bad and you know it.” You turn to go grab your phone from your bed and grab your room key. Closing and locking the door behind you, you turn and bump right into the wall. But then the wall was breathing and lightly laughing, you look up and meet Andy’s gaze.

“Whoa there, you okay?” He asks as he steadies you. A heat spreads through your face and you nod.

“Yeah, sorry. I should slow down a little more.” You joke and take a step back. Natasha exists her room and eyes you both before smirking and slipping by, you give a nervous laugh and motion that you are gonna follow her. Linking your arm with hers and hurrying off as Andy watches with amusement.

Dinner is good and the company is even better, the guys are all getting to know the other ranch hands while the girls sit around the fire. Bucky and Ari sit on the other side of the fire and you can feel their eyes on you as you talk with Natasha and Lizzy. You throw little glances their way and just smile every so often, it’s all very tame and fun. That is till Natasha brings out the shots.

“Nope! Everyone is drinking unless you are sober.” She starts pointing and waiting for anyone to back out and they don’t. “Alright, bottoms up!” Ari feels he needs to remind everyone that wake up calls start at 7am, and he gets boooed relentlessly till he finally gives up with his reminders. You are about 3 shots in when you find yourself sitting next to Bucky on a little wooden bench.

“So is this sweet cowboy charm just that? Charm. Or are you actually this much of a gentleman? Cause I’ve been burned and I- well- let’s just say if I fall for this then I’m falling hard. And I can’t do that unless I know you’re gonna catch me.” You can’t believe the words that are pouring out of your mouth. How strong are these shots?? Bucky gives you a sad smile and reaches out to twirl a strand of your hair around his finger.

“I’ll catch you, Sunshine.” You smile and start to lean closer but Natasha pulling you up from the seat and demanding that you dance with her makes the moment pass and it’s gone before it starts. She twirls you around and you end up in the arms of Ransom as she sits herself right in the spot you were occupying with Bucky.

“Okay Sarge, let’s talk.” She says, all cheer gone from her voice. Bucky turns and looks at her. “She’s been hurt, bad. Her ex was a master manipulator and built her up just to break her down. And as her best friend who had to check on her every day for three straight weeks because I was scared she wasn’t eating, I will not allow anyone to hurt her that way again.” Bucky looks over at you and then quietly levels with Natasha.

“Is that why you’re encouraging her to sleep with two men she just met?” He looks back at her, his face hard and unchanging. Natasha sighs.

“I’m trying get her to loosen up, also I know her, she’s not gonna sleep with them. Maybe fool around but she’d never go that far with someone new.” She takes a sip of her water. “I don’t want to tell her story for her so all I will say is she has made herself into the perfect wife for a man who didn’t choose her when push came to shove. For years she chipped away pieces of herself to fit what he wanted,” she looks at Bucky again, “I just want to make sure she doesn’t fall into the same pattern, because there’s not much left to chip away.” Bucky nods and takes her water from her hand and takes a sip for himself.

“Well that’s where you have the wrong idea of me, Natasha.” Bucky says plainly. “All I wanna do is add to her life, for whatever little time she lets me.” He says before he stands up and heads inside for bed.

Ransom is talking your ear off as you watch Natasha and Bucky talk. They don’t seem to be flirting which is good, but they don’t look happy either. “What do you say, huh?” You turn and look up at Ransom.

“Oh umm what? Sorry.” You lightly laugh and he sighs.

“I said what if we turned in for the night. Maybe head up to your room,” your stomach drops at what he’s suggesting, he’s one of your best friends, why is he saying this! “and you let me use that amazing tub of yours?!” There it is, you laugh and punch his arm before moving away from him. He laughs and waves you off as he goes back to bothering Tony and Lizzy. You find Natasha.

“Hey what did you and Bucky talk about?” You ask, hopeful. Natasha sees the look in Your eyes and sighs.

“We talked about you of course and how you should 100% try to get with Ari tonight. Shake off those cobwebs and just be a little care free!” She knows she shouldn’t lie to you but until she can get a good gage on Bucky, you needed someone you wouldn’t get attached to.

“Bucky said Ari is a great guy- probably one of the best here- Andy too!” You are a little taken aback.

“No for real what did you talk about?” You ask, she doubles down.

“Seriously, he said that he liked you but he’s not in a place to really be with anyone, dealing with his own baggage at the moment.” She hopes that’s believable, for all she knows he’s the most baggage free guy in the world. Your heart on the other hand breaks, you wonder how recent his failed wedding was and you coming on to him probably didn’t help. You look over your shoulder to Ari.

“He really said I should go for it?” You ask, the sadness in your tone could be heard even when Natasha couldn’t see your face.

“Yeah babes,” she prays you will forgive her for this, but it’s for the best. You take a breath and look back at Natasha.

“Well alright then,” you say sadly. You make your way over to Ari and grab a bottle of rum on the way.

“Oh fuck,” Natasha mutters, “What the hell have I done.

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my tlt annotations! part three: Nona The Ninth (by Tamsyn Muir) *spoilers ahead*

- i want to watch cam, pal, pyrrha, and nona’s silly little family like a sitcom

- nona is six months old and her internal dialogue’s vocabulary is still too advanced for me to comprehend fully

- “Nona was so grateful to have a whole six months of this. It was greedy to expect much longer.” (Muir, 40) under this quote i wrote ‘if anything bad happens to her in the next 437 pages, there will be blood’ …. yea

- nona is recognized by most characters (especially herself) as beautiful. so did everyone on canaan house think harrow was a baddie and just not talk about it? or is it one of those ‘under the glasses (and religious skull face paint) she was beautiful the whole time!’ situations

- hot sauce is so nonchalant

- “If I had the amount of dads you got, I’d sell some of them.” (Muir, 50) as someone with two moms and a step mom, i relate to Born In The Morning and his five dads more than any other tlt character

- “She was one of them, which gave her enormous pleasure.” (Muir, 52) at this point, i wasn’t sure who exactly was inside nona. and i knew that it probably wasn’t gideon or harrow, but there’s something so beautiful about nona getting to be fully accepted by a group of friends and be so loved and taken care of, the way griddlehark was so deprived of on the ninth. it’s a comforting thought that in some complex removed way, they could have experienced that through nona. but alas, this is not the case.

- “Being unexpectedly loved is so wonderful or terrible, isn’t it?” (Muir, 63)

- nona is so cute i want to eat her (not in a lyctor way tho)

- DESCRIBING CAM AND PAL AS “separated forever by a matter of minutes” (83) IS SO TRAGIC MUIR WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT

- “Salt water has always relieved her: salt water made her feel as though, if there was someone is there with her, she would suddenly know the words to tell them everything.” (Muir, 108) THE POOL SCENE PARALLEL RAHHHHHHH

- “‘Don’t tell him I was weak.’ / ‘He’s going to know, Hect. You’re killing each other.’ / ‘It’s our choice.’” (Muir, 115) IVE BEEN SHOT???

- “yet another one of devotion’s casualties” that’s really what tlt is. it’s exploring how far devotion can go. how it can supersede generations, distance, death. muir really explores all the different ways devotion, and love, will destroy you.

- nona saying “‘And I’m not afraid of dying. Really truly Cam, I’m not.” in ntn, and harrow telling the body / alecto “Tonight I am afraid to die.” (160) in htn

- “‘I don’t let go,’ said Camilla. ‘It’s my one thing.’” (125)

- JOHN IS A FUCKING STREAMER OHMYGOD

- what pyrrha thinks is sexy: “Landmine people… some people were put into the universe to rig it to explode, then walk away… I always fell for that.” (139) and you know what she’s real asf for that

- everything was so much simpler when we were being hunted for sport at demi-god recruitment camp:((

- “You and I don’t even own our own souls,” (170) crown and cam, our fav codependent baddies who are going insane bc they haven’t been able to be in a room or touch their counterparts (corona only getting to see ianthe through babs, and pal’s body is long gone) who are both fighting in a war against the houses they are from in an attempt to be reunited with their other half along the way.

- nona saying that crown was really very nearly pretty enough for camilla

- a hot new bombshell has entered the villa (it’s prince kirona gaia the first, her divine highness, first lieutenant of the cohort, non-auxiliary heir to the emperor divine, first of the tower princes)

- “…They left you, they left you. They saw you suffering on dollar shop life-support, and they didn’t look back. They didn’t give a fuck about trying to save you. They left. / She said, ‘I don’t remember.’ / He said, ‘I can’t forget.’” (223) all the john becoming jod stuff is hitting especially hard as an american rn. john i will never forgive you but fuck if i don’t understand the rage.

- “‘God, I wish I could see your face.’ / Clack. Pause. ‘Look in the mirror.’ / Pause. ‘It’s not you. It’s me wearing you. I keep turning around to find you, and there’s nobody there.’ / Clack. ‘I know the feeling.’” (230) okay, so, what the fuck

- “I’ve carried you, Warden. And I’ve carried your memory… I’d rather carry you.” (230) i can’t even talk about them, they make me sick </3

- LOVE AND FREEDOM DON’T COEXIST, WARDEN !!!!!!

- my favorite bit is that pyrrha is a pimp

- “…and I was all, They won’t fall for that. / He said, They fell for it.” !!!!!!!! THIS IS SO RELEVANT

- nona saying that she doesn’t mind dying and she’s been doing it for ages, and pal saying that he will not be party to this again.

- We Suffer saying “we are riding the wave” like yes DBT!!

- overhearing yourself being killed in kiss marry kill is real shit, judith is twin

- ianthe saying “I want Camilla Hect on my doorstep” (302) don’t we all?

- “What did Harrowhark used to always call you? Tortoise? Blorgus?” (315) lmao do the other lyctors think harrow just gave g1deon a lil nickname

- gideon inherited jod’s tendency to crack ‘your mom’ jokes. are we all doomed to become our parents?

- nona has managed to be the gayest one in tlt and that is just impressive

- the twins scare me ngl

-WILL YOU NOT LOOK AT ME NOW, CAM, AND KNOW ME???? / YES, WARDEN, I WILL ALWAYS KNOW YOU (pg 351-352) *glass breaks* *siren sounds* *screaming and commotion* *distant explosions*

- “and she had never liked her hands.” (357) - nona in ntn. “I’m just amending here; your fingers are fine.” (389) and “There were a couple of callouses now on those soft necromancer’s palms, and I was proud of you.” (391)- gideon in htn

- the only griddlehark mouth-to-mouth kiss in tlt (for now) and griddlehark wasn’t even there >:(

- idk how gideon played dead so well while coronabeth was cooing over her body and talking about how hot she used to be. ik alive gideon would be freaking tf out

- i think gideon would have appreciated her immortal corpse being a source of comedy in a way (while they were experimenting on it) like she’d be laughing too if she were there

- pyrrha = mumfucker prime

- “i don’t want much of anything anymore” (372) can that be true?? it’s gideon?? all the love that was there. the hunger to be seen. the instinct to fight. is all that remains of gideon nav kirona gaia?

- jod is a deadbeat. making gideon invincible is him being selfish, not fatherly.

- nona being back in the gang is actually so important to me !!!

- i wanna talk a little about pyrrha saying that wake had a photo of pash on her all the time and how significant that must be for pash to hear. (slight vent warning for this bullet point) i’m the youngest of 5, and i’ve always felt estranged from my older siblings in many ways. last year i learned that one of my older brothers keeps an old school picture of me in his wallet. it means everything to know that someone you look up to holds you with them when you aren’t there. to affirm that you mean something to them.

- “Gideon… G—, you died for nothing.” (390) god, imagine dying bc your bestie/boss/cult leader asked you to hold a nuke for him, being resurrected and becoming that same man’s body guard for thousands of years, dying fighting the soul of a planet he killed, and the only person who gives a shit that you died isn’t that man, but the woman you had to kill and absorb to earn his favor. anyways

- “Nothing is really ready to die,” (393)

- the og lyctors waiting around while g1deon was on his way with the nuke needs to be filmed like a messy reality tv show. im talking confessionals, dramatic music, and everyone is wine-drunk

- “Nobody enjoys a peacemaker. The more they shot each other, the angrier they got. I don’t think they even noticed me watching them.” (406) this metaphor is fire. humans go to war with each other over for having different religious views. they spew so much hatred at each other trying to force other people to conform to their standard of god’s image. their god is watching them destroy more of his children in his name. their god is witness, but that doesn’t stop them, because the fight isn’t about religion anymore. it’s just hatred.

- the scene where john kills the earth and makes alecto. chills.

- “When Nona didn’t answer, the corpse prince said— ‘Okay. Different question. Do you love her?’” (412) Gideon has always been critical (jealous) of alecto and harrow’s love for her. and here she sees alecto walking around in harrow’s body, making herself right at home, but what gives her the right to use harrow like that? to walk around in her skin? the only other person who’s done that is gideon. who gave her life to be able to do so. gideon is her cavalier. her one flesh, her one end. and now this frozen barbie who has never had to do any of that to earn harrow’s love gets to live inside her (even though gideon isn’t 100% sure nona is alecto). is she even worthy of being that close to harrow? does she even love her? (DOES SHE EVEN LOVE HER???)

- ¡¡¡¡¡¡LIFE IS TOO SHORT AND LOVE IS TOO LONG!!!!!!!

- “… and Protocol One is ‘Live’.” something about the blood of eden being the descendants of a bunch of billionaires who pulled an atrociously unethical escape from a doomed planet. and years later, their protocol one is to live. no matter the cost, you do what you need to do. you survive. meanwhile the defendants of the resurrected people of earth are raised to believe that death is a tool to be utilized. it means less to die in the nine houses. survival is the natural human instinct, but necromancy has altered that. idk just thinking about the cultural differences between the houses and the boe/everyone else

- “It’s the easiest thing in the world…to forget.” (433) something something those who forget their history are destined to repeat it. it’s so easy to look away when faced with the tragedies of the world. it’s easy to ignore the events that have taken place before you were born, or in far away countries, or to groups that you don’t belong to. but complacency is how these things are able to continue. we owe it to each other to remember.

- “I want to journey to find God.” (435) / “God is a dream, Harrow.” (436) the ninth’s devotion to the emperor undying and the locked tomb has shaped harrow’s whole life. they worship something that none of them will ever see, which is faith. harrow may be a nun but she doesn’t possess this kind of blind devotion. she broke into the locked tomb to find out exactly what it was she was worshipping. she meets god, and he was nothing to worship. because god is a dream. something to be imagined.

- “‘Kiddie stay with us.’ So Nona stayed.” (438) well fuck me

- sometimes the only thing that keeps you going is remembering that there’s a dog at home

- “Then she suddenly became aware of something else; an insistent tugging at top thought, bottom thought, and middle thought. She wanted something. She didn’t quite know what it was, only she wanted it—“ (443) Abbey by Mitski (i am hungry / i have been hungry / i was born hungry / what do i need? // i am something / i have been something / i was born something / what could i be?)

- nona calling aiglamene “the most asymmetrical person that Nona had ever seen in her short life” she’s on the verge of death and still clocking everyone

- is pyrrha flirting with aiglamene???? she rlly is mumfucker prime

- YOU CAN’T TAKE LOVED AWAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- “‘Don’t worry, kiddie,’ she said tiredly. ‘I’ll keep loving you—my problem is I don’t know how to stop.’” STOP ENOUGH NO MORE

- ianthe and gideon dapping eachother up. how is this book real.

- “Good. Die. Die for her…it’s the only goddamn good thing you’ll ever do her. It’s all any of you ever knew how to give her. You could have lived for her…but you didn’t know how.” (472) oh, gideon:(((

- “Why didn’t it feel good?” (473) OH, GIDEON:(((

- “Destroy me according to thy word, for I love thee.” harrow GET UP

- “My hands are too stained, and I am too lowly.” the last chapter where alecto wakes up has so many bars

- ending my ntn annotations with a classic: “Get in line, thou big slut.” (477)

that’s it for nona! i made these to cope with the alectopause, so i hope it helps some of you all with cope too!

i’ll see you all in part four for alecto the ninth (someday) :’)

[crowsofdarkness]

Cam Boy!Bill Skarsgard: Bill moans your name while on stream-Part Four

-pics not mine.-

Pairings: CamBoy!Bill Skarsgard x Viewer!Reader

Summary: Bill isn't ashamed of the work he does, showcasing his body online for anyone willing to pay. His number one rule was never to make a connection with anyone who either sent him messages or paid for private one-on-one video sessions. That was until you decided to request a certain private session.

Content Warnings: 18+ smut which includes Bill having an only fans page, masturbation, phone sex, virtual sex, and language.

Authors Note: this is a limited mini-series, just a bunch of blurbs that take place in this universe. i'm not sure exactly how long this will be. tags will be open for this if anyone is interested!

The next few blurbs are going to hurt.

CamBoy!Bill masterlist.

The vibrations from my vibrator echoed in my room, along with my breathless moans as I arched further off of my bed. I pressed the rose closer against my clit and almost immediately felt my body begin to tense up. But I held on, not quite ready to let go. 

Not until he let go. 

My computer was bright in the dark room, showing Bill on the screen, his body was slick with sweat, as he fucked the fleshlight. He’d gone live about twenty minutes ago, right after our phone call. We’d been talking for nearly a month now and our conversations were the highlight of my day. We never made anything official even though we had phone sex a few times a week and sent each other risque videos and pictures. 

I thought I’d be jealous when he continued to film content but deep down, I knew I couldn’t be. We weren’t dating. We were simply having fun. And this is how he made his income, I couldn’t get in the way of that. Plus, even though I loved his company albeit virtually, I wasn’t ready for a relationship. I was trying to focus on myself. 

“Fuck, it feels so good.” 

Bill’s voice brought me back from my thoughts and I let out a choked moan at how wrecked he sounded. The sounds of his wet cock fucking the toy bounced off the walls of my bedroom along with the vibrations from my vibrator and I had to muffle a scream in my hand when I began to feel the familiar burn at the base of my spine. My 26 year old, male neighbor did not need to hear me moaning. 

I kept my eyes trained on the computer screen, on Bill’s bright eyes as they zoned in on the camera. Fuck, those eyes always had me drowning. And don’t get me started on the mustache. Earlier in our phone conversation, he mentioned maybe shaving it to which I nearly yelled into the phone he better not. 

“Such a naughty little thing,” Bill said, sitting further back in his computer chair. 

This angle I was able to see every rippling muscle of his stomach and chest. The quality of his camera was so clear, I could see the sweat that gathered in the crook of his neck as his grip on the flesh light tightened. He brought it forward and back with a pace so fast, I could barely see it. Bill let some spit fall from his lips to his cock and let his head fall back against his chair, eyes gone from ecstasy.

I couldn’t hold back anymore. I needed to let go so I pressed my vibrator harder against my clit sending shockwaves throughout my body. My orgasm was so close, I could taste it on my tongue and it tasted like sin. 

“Your cunt feels like heaven, Y/N.” 

My eyes snapped open and my vibrator fell from my hand down to my floor, it buzzing on the carpet. But I couldn’t move to grab it. My gaze was stuck on my computer screen where Bill had just painted his hand with his cum. 

While moaning my name. 

Oh shit. Oh fuck. God damn it. 

Scrambling from my bed, orgasm long forgotten, I stood in front of my computer and saw the comment section ignite. 

Y/N?! Who is Y/N?!

Do you have a girlfriend while doing all of this? I could never date anyone in this line of work. 

How does it feel to live our dreams, Y/N? 

Do you think she’s a follower? Maybe she’s watching this!

If Bill knew what he said, he didn’t give anything away as he cleaned up his hand. My ears buzzed while my body flushed with heat as he rambled on with his typical goodbye before the screen went blank. 

He said my name. On live stream. In front of hundreds of other people that were watching. 

“It’s fine, totally fine,” I told myself while nodding. “No one will ever find out it was me. There’s probably a bunch of people with the same name.” 

Shutting down my computer, I walked over to my still vibration rose and snatched it from the ground. As I was about to walk into my bathroom to clean up, my phone dinged twice from on my nightstand and I froze. 

There’s no way anyone found me already. 

“Calm the fuck down,” I sighed and reached for my phone to see two new texts from Bill. 

Bill: Hey, you. Give me a little bit to clean up and we can have our nightly facetime. 

So is he really going to ignore what he said? 

Before I could respond, I began to receive notification after notification from Instagram; new follower, new like, new comment on your photo, new follower, new follower, new comment on your photo.

“What the actual fuck,” I cursed while falling to my bed, still naked. 

As I scrolled through the notifications, I noticed that in a matter of five minutes I gained thirty new followers. 

No, scratch that. Fifty new followers. 

How the fuck did people find me? And so fast at that. 

My heart began to beat wildly in my chest, nearly rendering me useless, and when I felt an upcoming panic attack creeping its way in, I exited the app. I was about to shut off my phone when another text from Bill came through. 

Bill: There’s also something I need to talk to you about tonight if you’re up for it. Nothing bad, I promise. 

Bill: I’ll call you in about twenty minutes. 

His words became fuzzy as more notifications popped up from Instagram so without thinking of how it would eventually bite me in the ass, I replied to Bil. 

Me: Can’t, I’m busy tonight. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. 

Not bothering to wait for his reply, I turned off my phone and threw it into my nightstand drawer before dragging my feet into the bathroom. I signed up to talk with Bill, not to have random people find a part of my life I tried to keep somewhat private. Yes, my instagram was public but before tonight, I had less than 150 people following me. 

Now, my follower count is nearing 200. 

The feeling of being judged was something I did not sign up for. I already had issues with how I looked, the last thing I needed was to have people who didn’t know me judge me. 

Maybe talk about how this whole thing makes you feel with Bill. He’d understand.

Ignoring the voice in my head, I slammed the bathroom door shut behind me. I was definitely not going to talk about this with Bill. Maybe if I ignore him, he’d move on to someone else. 

[maiyz]

a pearl

yuji x reader | masterlist

02: i hate my big chungus life.

you and the other first years step out of the metro to the city of toyko. the noise of the city is distant, just background noise to your thoughts.

nobaras voice cuts through the quiet of your mind. “zenin! come on, lets go!” she grins, practically pulling you along. you follow her without protest, offering no response. it is easier this way.

as you walk to the shopping district, nobara chatters excitedly about stores and figures. you hear her, but the words dont register. its just noise, and you dont care. youre here because its whats expected.

“wheres itadori?” you ask, momentarily interrupting her speech on the poor paint job on a figure. “why do you care? you miss him?” she says jokingly. even though you knew that was a joke, you still got flustered embarrassed, obviously. “hes running late, again.” you hum in response,

not long after paying you see sukunas vessel waving with a big smile on his face. with kugisaki running toward him shouting “i told you you had to pay!”

“how is it my fault i missed the train” this sentence was met by a sigh from fushiguro.

after about 30 minutes of arguing where they should eat food—kugisaki saying boba, yuuji saying pastries—the first years and you settle on boba, having being bribed that kugisaki would pay 50% for everyone.

you walk around the shopping district with kugisaki, sukunas vessel and fushiguro trailing behind, until you end up at a clothing store.

sukunas vessel pulls kugisaki to the side, whispering in her ear. this left you and fushiguro looking at eachother awkwardly in silence.

you end up somehow being kugisakis model, trying on the dresses for her. it didnt last long before you got annoyed and ended the dress up game early, leaving sukunas vessel with a. disappointed look on his face?

I FUCKING HATE NAOYA WHY DID THAT BITCH KEEP COMING BACK.

is this badly written.. say no pls im scared.

2 WORKS IN 1 DAY

i have 30 mins left i better hurry….

tag list (3/50) - @love-me-satoru @cutesysakura @kozemae

[willowsnpillows]

Life is better like this

This one kindaaa got away from me, so it's a bit long for a first attempt at genuinely writing something on this blog, so I'm gonna put it under a cut. Basically it's about a girl realizing she is one due to her older sis, as well as realizing she yearns for her sister as well :P CWs FOR: Incest, Alcohol usage

You always looked up to your older sister, though you weren't really sure why. You and her were really nothing alike. You liked to stay at home and read, paint, or play games on your computer. Meanwhile she liked to go to bars and concerts with her bajillion friends. Even when she took an interest in something vaguely related to yours in coding, you unfortunately just didn't care much for it yourself.

Not to mention she transitioned years prior so you couldn't even have some bond of "brotherhood" with her anymore. But for some reason everything about her was just perfect. I mean, even her transition was just so fucking cool. Like, she went from this shut-in guy to this alt girl who looks more alive than she ever had been.

On your 21st birthday you didn't really get invited out to drink for the first time by any of your small friend group, you figured it was whatever, but she stepped in and offered to drink with you in her room at the very least. She even got all dressed up for it. You thought you'd just have one drink and go back to your night. But you found yourself having a good time! A really good time even. Maybe you both were more alike than you thought.

You end up several drinks in and can't help but notice just how beautiful she is and especially how comfortable in her own skin she looks compared to before. A little thought worms it's way into your brain. You've never once felt that in your own life. So, you play it off as a joke but she's too drunk to see at as one when you ask her to dress you up. Maybe you realize you weren't joking as much as you thought.

She lets you raid her wardrobe, making some small comments on what might fit you best. And when you're all dressed up she does your makeup. It's a bit hard not to fidget, and she is not doing her absolute best, but, she plants in you in front of her mirror and you are just stunned. That's you, maybe more you than you've ever been. But your sister, she says something that catches you off-guard. She says that you are so so incredibly beautiful like this. You turn around and the words just slip. You say how ever since she started transitioning you thought she was really pretty too. You lean in sheepishly for a kiss and to your surprise she returns it. You feel her soft lips on yours, her lipstick leaving small flecks on your lips. You feel her tongue push it's way into your mouth as you grip her hips. Before she pulls away, and starts apologizing profusely and asks that you both never ever talk about it. You just silently, desperately plead for more before acquiescing. You both quietly part for the night.

You remember it the next day with nothing left but the realization that it wasn't some weird dream. You made out with your sister and you dressed like a girl too. Maybe you realize that you felt happier like that. Maybe you focus on the latter to forget the former. The years pass as you start your own transition, and as you do, day by day you notice your older sister catching glances of you the same way you did with her, still do with her. Maybe some nights you pass by her door and hear her softly moaning out your name.

Your sister has a few girlfriends and boyfriends here and there but it never lasts long. You have a few girlfriends yourself, much to the same result. It doesn't feel the same as that night years back did. You kinda hope that the reason her relationships aren't lasting is the same reason yours aren't either. Eventually one of you caves. One of you admits your feelings for the other. Not only the physical attraction, but that severe desire to love the other wholly.

One night you both decide to recreate that evening as best you can to pick up where you left off. By this point you both know who you are fully, her maybe a bit better than you, but still. She invites you to her apartment, you make dinner together. And she later drags you back to her room to get drunk together and do one another's makeup. And you kiss, unburdened by anything that could possibly hold either of you back, fueled only by a desire you both have held back for years. You both push into one another, entangling yourselves as much as you can. You trace your hand up her shirt, asking if it's okay to push further receiving a bashful nod in return. You trace her nipple gently with your finger, which elicits soft moans from your normally confident and forward sister. She pulls you both to the bed and hungrily strips both you and herself of your clothes.

You grind against her already stiff cock, panting and moaning letting out small, soft, warm, breathy "I love you"'s when you can. You look down upon her and just realize in that moment how much you love her, how truly beautiful your sister is. You both go at it for hours and when you both are all spent she wraps her arms around you, you nuzzle into her chest, she kisses your forehead, and you doze off with the warm comforting thought of "I like life better like this, as me, and with her. I love her so much."