#I DID A FUCKING PAINTING LETS GO!!!!!!!!!

[nuemanfilms]

CAN FEEL YOUR EYES

s.w

summary; Sam cosplays as a firefighter for a job you’re all working, and you can’t keep your eyes off him.

warnings; smut, piv, softdom!sam, dirty talk, sweet talk, semi-public sex, praise, fem!reader, panties pulled to the side, against the wall, unprotected sex (don’t do that, pls), creampie, overall just really sweet, messy, fluffy sex.

notes; surprise, surprise. After a few months, i finally cooked you guys up something. happy late new year, enjoy <3

wc; 800+

It wasn’t the first time you’d seen Sam cosplay for a case, usually in a suit and tie, or a police uniform — it varied depending on the case at hand.

Firefighter? That was a new one.

The elder had managed to clear the house out, leaving you and Sam to investigate the top floor, where the fire supposedly started. Well, Sam was more focused than you. You were too busy lost in your own thoughts about what you could do in that little amount of time alone.

The floorboards creaked as he pushed the bedroom door open, his hand gripped on your arm and pulled you inside the doorframe. You looked up at him in confusion, “Sam, what are we doin-“ He cut you off, turning the lock shut on the door.

“I can feel your eyes on me, you know that, right?” The confusion that painted your features quickly turned to embarrassment. Your cheeks tinting a light pink hue as a teasing smile curled on your boyfriend’s lips.

You didn’t know where you got the boldness from to smash your lips against his, but you did. Sam’s eyes widened briefly, the flashlight he held fell to the floor with a thud. His hands moved to lift you up, pinning you against the wall. Your lips never disconnecting once as you both hurried to rip off each other's clothing.

“Baby, c’mon-“ Sam groaned, his fingers snapped the clasp of your bra, letting it fall to the floor. The heavy metal that clipped his belt was undone as quickly as you could, pushing the leather out of its loops.

Once Sam had pushed your panties to the side, he slid his middle finger through your folds. You let out a gasp, “God, you’re fucking soaked, Honey.” Sam commented, a shiver ran up your spine at the coldness of his touch lingering on your flesh.

The head of his cock nudged at your entrance, Sam’s hand teasingly running his tip up and down your slit. You whined pathetically at his teasing, a smug smirk replaced the smile he held before.

Sam’s hand steadied on the side of your hip as he pushed in. Your head tossed back against the wall, your lips parted to let out a noise, but you couldn’t. This wasn’t your first time with Sam, but it felt like it every single time you did.

Sam cooed in your ear, urging you to lower your fingers down to your clit.

“Shh, shh. Don’t make a sound, baby… you’re doing good for me. So good.” He hissed out, feeling you squeeze around him at the praise. Sam gave you a few moments to adjust, waiting for your nod of consent.

You nodded, “You can,” your words left your lips more breathy than you intended. Sam snapped his hips, sliding out of your channel, and then thrusting back in. His free hand slapped against your mouth to muffle the cry you threatened to let out, “Don’t. make. a. sound. I don’t want anyone else to hear or see you, just me, understand? You wanted this, right?” His tone was rough, but there was no real malice behind his words.

The low groans and muffled moans were the only noise in the room beside the sound of his hips slapping against yours over and over again. His hand lifted from your lips, shushing you, before he trailed his fingers down to replace yours. The pad of his thumb pressed firmly down on your pearl, rubbing in tight circles to encourage you to let go.

“‘atta girl, there you go… So good, Sweetheart, aren’t you? Taking my dick like this, when we could get caught any second. You’re being so quiet too, honey… so fucking good for me, shit.” The way your body reacted to everything he did, his tone, his hips, just himself in general made his eyes roll back. The stamina he held for you drove you insane.

You could taste the metallic on your tongue, your lip held a bruise from how hard you were biting it. Sam let a few whimpers slip past, but not too loud. He could feel you getting close, your body getting limp against him. It caused his own hips to stutter themselves, “You can do it, I know you can. Cum for me, please? Cum all over it, baby… I know you have it in you.” The white shocks rushed through your body like electricity.

Sam’s hips slowed, but kept a pace steady enough throughout your orgasm. He groaned, a moan following him after as he came undone. The grip he held on your hip loosening, yet he still held you close.

Your heavy breaths filled the silence of the room, his lips littering soft kisses all over your face and your neck. The coos he gave you were so gentle, so syrupy sweet despite the dirty words he said just a few moments before.

“Hey, hey… c’mon, let's get you cleaned up, yeah? Good job, Sweetheart.” He smiled lovingly at you, letting you wrap your arms around his neck as he carried you to the nearby bed.

[hoshifighting]

i offer a thought- enemies to lovers hao, hes kinda cocky/pretentious but mc puts him in his place (sub hao dom reader :33)

putting enemy!minghao in his place

WARNINGS: smut, sub!minghao, dom!reader, handjob, mentions of blowjob, a bet ab reader not making him cum?

“you look way too cocky for someone who’s about to lose.” your voice dripped with confidence, and minghao’s eyes narrowed at you, his signature smirk pulling at the corner of his lips.

“please,” he drawled, leaning back on his elbows, his shirt already discarded somewhere on the floor. “you really think you’re gonna win? don’t flatter yourself.”

you rolled your eyes, climbing over him and settling yourself between his thighs. minghao always had this way of acting like he was untouchable, like nothing could faze him, but you could already see the cracks forming. his cock twitched when your nails dragged along his inner thighs, and he bit the inside of his cheek, pretending it didn’t affect him. “keep talking,” you teased, wrapping your hand around his length, the weight of him heavy and hot in your palm. “let’s see how long that confidence lasts.”

his jaw clenched, his hips jerking slightly as you gave him a slow, teasing stroke. “it’s gonna take more than that,” he shot back, his voice strained.

“oh, i know,” you said, smirking as you leaned in, your lips brushing against the tip of his cock. “but that’s the fun part, isn’t it?”

his eyes darkened, his cocky mask starting to waver, and you couldn’t help but feel a overflow of pride. you loved putting minghao in his place, loved wiping that smug look off his face, and this was no different.

your tongue darted out, licking a slow stripe up the underside of his cock, and minghao let out a shaky breath, his fingers curling into the sheets. “um—fuck,” he muttered under his breath, his head falling back against the pillows.

“what was that?” you asked, your voice dripping with faux softness. “i couldn’t hear you over all that pride you had earlier.”

his eyes snapped back to you, and you could see the frustration building in them. his hips bucked up, desperate for more, and you pressed him back down with your other hand, smirking at the way his abs tensed under your touch. “patience, hao, or did you forget the bet already?”

“as if,” he said through gritted teeth, his cock twitching in your hand.

you leaned in, your breath hot against his skin as you whispered, “you’re gonna lose, minghao.”

“keep dreaming,” he shot back, but his voice was shaky, and you knew he was closer than he wanted to admit.

you picked up the pace, your strokes becoming faster and more purposeful, and minghao’s breathing grew ragged, his cock leaking pre-cum that made your hand glide even smoother.

“fuck, fuck—” he gasped, his head pressing back into the pillow as his thighs trembled.

“oh, what’s wrong?” you teased, your voice sound like pure fake concern. “can’t handle it?”

“shut up,” he groaned, his hands gripping the sheets so tightly his knuckles turned bloodless.

you grinned, leaning down like you were going to take him in your mouth, and his whole body tensed in expectancy. but instead, you pulled back at the last second, your hand working him faster, your thumb teasing his slit.

“you’re such a fucking tease,” he hissed, his hips bucking up despite himself.

“and you’re such a sore loser,” you shot back, your eyes locking with his as you watched him unravel beneath you.

his breathing hitched, his whole body going rigid as his orgasm hit him, his cock twitching in your hand as he came all over his stomach, his cum painting his abs in messy, sticky streaks.

“fuck,” he gasped, his head falling back against the pillow, his chest heaving as he tried to catch his breath.

you smirked, sitting back to admire your handiwork. “looks like i win,” you said, your tone smug. “you’re pathetic,” you shot back. “but at least you’re pretty when you lose.”

his cheeks flushed, and he looked away, grumbling under his breath. but you could see the tiniest hint of a smile tugging at the corner of his lips, and you knew he wasn’t as mad as he pretended to be. minghao might hate losing, but he hated losing to you just a little bit less.

[justagayperson-2024]

Mirror Sex Jayce Talis x GN!Reader

Word Count: 1067

Enjoy!

As the dim lights of your bedroom cast a warm glow, you found yourself standing before a full-length mirror, your eyes locking with your own reflection. Your gaze shifted slightly to the side, looking over to the delicious Jayce Talis. His eyes, filled with a mixture of anticipation and nervousness, met yours in the mirror. His dark hair fell perfectly across his forehead, framing his handsome face. He stood naked, his body on full display, waiting for your command. You admired his slender yet defined physique, the way his skin glistened under the soft lighting. You took a step closer to the mirror, your reflection now standing right behind his. Reaching out, you gently ran your fingers through his hair, sending shivers down his spine. "Relax, my love." you whispered seductively into his ear, your warm breath tickling his neck. “Be a good boy and touch yourself for me angel.” You whisper, kissing his back delicately. Obediently, he began to caress his own body, his fingers gliding down his chest, across his nipples, causing them to harden further. You watched in the mirror as his hands travelled lower, his fingers brushing against his flat stomach, inching closer to his throbbing cock. "That's it, my sweet boy," you encouraged, your voice growing huskier. “Remember though baby, no touching until I tell you.” He whimpered softly, his eyes closing briefly as he fought the urge to grasp his aching shaft. His hands paused at the top of his thighs, his fingers twitching, longing to wrap around his length. Your fingers danced down his side as you teased him. His soft whimpers were music to your ears. You tentatively wrapped your well manicured hand around his aching cock giving him a slow stroke. His eyes closed in pleasure as you continued your painfully slow pace. “Y/N, please..." he begged, his voice hoarse. "I need to feel you." You chuckled softly, a dominant laugh that sent shivers down his spine. "Not yet, my pet. We're not done playing." You abruptly stopped and began to walk in front of him. “Do try and stay a quiet pet.” You said playfully as you sank to your knees, instantly coming face to face with his angry red tip. 

He moaned, his fingers trembling as he tried his best to keep them placed firmly on his thighs, palm down. You inched your face closer to his hard, throbbing cock before letting his tip slide past your lips. The groan that elicited from Jayce's lips was as sinful as they come. You moved to envelope him in your mouth, as much as you could, with the rest being stroked with your hand. The other hand was placed atop of Jayce's on his thigh to balance yourself. The pathetic whines and whimpers coming from Jayce's lips as you sucked his pretty dick off were going straight to your core. “Fuck Y/N…” He groaned as you played with his balls, his head falling back unable to comprehend how good he feels right now. “Shit..I'm so close..wanna cum in mommy.” Jayce babbled, not being able to completely understand what he's saying. You smirked as you popped him out of your mouth. Standing up you looked at how dishevelled Jayce looked, already so fucked out just from your mouth. “Mommy huh?” You teased, kissing along his chest. He moaned lustfully as he nodded pathetically. You guided him to the bed, flopping on your back as Jayce slots himself between your thighs. “You wanna cum in mommy baby boy?” You asked as you guided his leaking tip to your entrance. Jayce nodded as he buried his face in your neck, “Need it…please.” He begged pitifully. And who where you to deny such a polite request from such a pretty boy. 

You wrapped your legs around his waist hinting for him to move and move he did, In on swift motion he nestled himself so deep inside your velvet walls. “Oh! Fuck momma.” Jayce cried as he bottomed out. Your cunt sucked him in so tightly, like it was meant for him, it took everything in him not to paint your insides then and there. “Gonna cum gods please!” Jayce mewled pitifully as he thrusted slowly in and out of you. “Wait for mommy baby, then we can cum together yeah? You wanna feel momma cum round your pretty cock?” You teased, grinding your hips down into his. He nodded frantically and started thrusting just the same. His hips met yours at such a brutal pace you knew that there would be bruises in the morning. Pulling his cock in and out of you with such precision, he was hitting your G-spot every time. At this rate, you weren’t lasting long. “Fuck angel, such a skilful cock. Jesus, you’re going to make Mommy cum so quick!” You cried out as he continued to nudge that special spot inside you.  “Please mommy, it hurts..need to cum.” Jayce panted, his hot breath feeling heavy on your neck. “Cum for me baby boy, fill momma up.” You moan, feeling your release creep up on you. Jayce's pace slowed slightly before he slammed his hips into yours forcefully, burying himself deep inside your walls. “Fuck! mommy!” Jayce moaned loudly, his eyes rolling back into his head. His warm cum filled and coated your walls so intensely that it triggered your own release. “God Jayce!” You cried as you clamped down around Jayce's softening cock. The feeling of your walls clamping down around him, while not a new sensation, still caught him off guard every time. He buried himself deeper, if it were possible, inside you savouring the feeling of you cumming round his cock. “You did so good for me, Jayce; such a good boy for mommy.” You panted out as best you could, still coming down from your high. You gently patted his damp hair soothingly as Jayce slowly removed himself from you. A little nod and whine was all you got from Jacye as he cuddled up into your side. You both lay there for a while, enjoying the feeling of being close to one another. “Shall we get a shower, my love?” You asked, kissing his still sweaty forehead. Jayce nodded, picking you up bridal style. “Round two?” He asked, kissing your ear softly. You blushed and nodded, knowing you were in for an eventful, sexual night.

[whinyangel]

inspired by this lovely piece: go read it NOW also this isn’t proof read soo…ignore the mistakes pls

felon!jj who instead of calling when he gets out of jail he sneaks through your window

it all came as a shock to you. him getting out earlier than you expected, to him now standing beside your bed grinning from ear to ear.

“h-how did you find me.” your eyes trailed up his long frame. he looked so much bigger in person than he did in the pictures. jj ignores your question and scans your room as if he’s taking it all in: the walls, the bed sheets, the paint slightly peeling, the nightlight, and the air seeping in from the crack of your door.

“I see you kept my photos and my letters.” he smirked to himself as he reached over to grab it off of your nightstand. he read over them, almost laughing, at what he wrote. “you haven’t forgot about what I told you, right?” your eyes lit up. you knew exactly what he was referring to. your mind raced as you remembered every little thing you said you wanted him to do to you and vice versa. it scared you shitless.

he moved closer, slowly moving the covers and lifting up your pajamas to reveal your smooth skin and your plump tummy and thighs. his brows furrowed, as if he was concentrating, but a sad—desperate if you will—expression covered his face. he traced his finger tips under the hook of your shorts. “oh angel. i’m so sorry to do this to you.”

he felt so bad to be fucking a young thing like you. the frilly bedsheets and matching pajamas with cute cotton underwear—that was far from sexy— made him realize how much of a “kid” you still were. “just relax baby. i promise I’ll be done soon. stay quiet for me. can you do that?” you tried to scream but his large hand was covering your whole face. you sobbed and kicked into the mattress, begging him for at least a break. “f-fuck sugar. i didn’t want to do this but the photos you were sending me had me thinking about this all the time. you shouldn’t talk to complete strangers let alone someone who’s in jail.” you knew the decision was stupid. you hardly knew him but something excited you and that was very evident from the huge puddle your pussy was leaving. you could kick and cry and scream for him to let you go but you knew you wanted this. jj could feel that you wanted this and that was enough for him to keep going until he came.

“whew. goddamn i needed that.” he says as he rolls off of you, reaching for his pants and the rest of his clothing. “you alright there.” he looked back at your body, sprawled out against the sheets. beads of sweet dropped down your back and your thighs. your sensitive clit pulsated against the sheets while your pussy clenched around nothing. “you need anything else, you call me, alright sweets?”

@starfxkrinc

[beef-brisket]

Lilith smirked: I see. You must be mourning the fool! Oh yes, I heard about his death. It sounds fitting, doesn't it. He always was a coward-.

Lucifer: Shut. Up. You don't get to speak of him.

Lilith: Let me guess. You didn't want him to die~. You're as much of a fool as him! It was only a few hundred years ago that you wanted to end him yourself!

Lucifer: I never meant it-!

Lilith: Sure you didn't, love~. Everything I did to that bastard was for you. For us! Why do you care if he got hurt? You're the one who always said he deserved it!

Lucifer: ENOUGH!

Lilith jumped back. She's never heard Lucifer yell before, especially to her.

Lilith: I-I don't understand! You hated him! He attacked Charlie! Killed our people! Why now are you defending a dead man?!

Lucifer: Because he's not dead! And he means something to me!

Lilith: He's... what? Adam's alive...? Oh, my god- and you're having a relationship with an ANGEL of all things?! Ha! Well, you're welcome to my beach home~. Oh wait, you're banished from Heaven, aren't you darling?

Lucifer smiled: He's not in Heaven. In fact, I believe he's upstairs right now. Looking at paint swatches. I've given him your end of the house to do what he pleases with~.

Lilith: You... he's... how DARE you! I am Hells queen! You dare move that PIG into my house?!

Lucifer: This hasn't been your house in seven years- you have no claim to it! And your title is officially forfeit! Hell only has its king. Its old queen was off playing house in Heaven of all places.

Lilith: You won't get away with this Lucifer. You're too weak, you're heart always gets in the way-! You can punish me all you want- but you'll come crawling back! My daughter will find out- and you'll be begging ME for mercy!

Lucifer glares: Not this time.

-

Adam has no idea how long he's been wondering the green house. Everywhere he looked, there was another pathway.

He was sketching some plants into a little notebook he found lying around. It's been a long time since he felt safe somewhere. He wasn't worried about an angel cornering him or someone demanding his presence.

Adam followed a path that was completely shaded by large trees and thick flower bushed. The silence was getting to him, his mind playing tricks of hearing the flapping of angelic wings. But he focused on his drawing, which calmed him quickly enough.

Lucifer pushed open the doors to the greenhouse. He was feeling emotionally exhausted from dealing with Lilith that he craved Adam. Which is something he never thought would happen.

Lucifer: Addie?

He couldn't see Adam anywhere, but he could sense him.

Lucifer walked off through the winding pathways. He doesn't know why he made the layout so confusing, maybe he wanted to get lost?

He was near the tulips and lily's when he heard the softest singing.

Lucifer smiled, knowing who it was.

Rounding a corner, Lucifer spotted Adam sitting on the outside of one of the small ponds Lucifer had made.

Lucifer: ...Adam...~.

Adam jumped and looked over to Lucifer, a wide smile on his face when he saw it was actually him, and not his mind playing tricks.

Adam: Hey! All finished with your work?

Lucifer shrugged before walking over and sitting next to him.

Lucifer: For today, I am. Wow, did you draw that?

Lucifer leaned over and smiled at Adam's notebook.

Adam: Fuck- yeah... their lame- it's been a while.

Lucifer: It's not lame. I think it's beautiful.

Adam blushed: Yeah? Well... thanks.

Lucifer: Anytime~.

Adam: This place is amazing. It's like an escape, I actually forgot... I was in Hell... for a second anyway.

Lucifer: That's why I made it. An escape. And a reminder.

Adam nodded: I had a garden too. It wasn't anything like this, but it was mine. I uh... stopped going to it.

Lucifer looked up at him: Why?

Adam: ...A few angels came to see me, and when I didn't answer the door, they came in. Saw it through the kitchen window, and went to look for me... they tainted the only place I had left. It sucked too much to go back there, so I just put some curtains up and locked the door outside... fuck, that sounds depressing. Just uh... a bird shat on me while I was out there, too.

Lucifer gave Adam a soft smile and rubbed his leg, doing his best to be comforting.

Lucifer: I'm sorry both of those things happened, Adam. If you'd like, we could put in your own greenhouse.

Adam perked up: Really?! Fuck yeah!

The Sin of Adam!au.

One more quick au before I fall asleep.

Adam falls to Hell after his death. But he doesn't wake up in Pride. He wakes up in Wrath. Adam is completely pissed off and just itching for revenge.

In this, Adam conquers each ring of Hell, growling stronger until he's on the same wavelength as Lucifer, power wise.

Lucifer has no idea what's going on. He's slowly losing contact with the Sins, and everyone is in a state of panic. That's until he returns home from a few days away, trying to find the Sins, that he sees his daughters hotel, and Pentagram city destroyed.

Thankfully, Charlie and her friends are fine. But what she explains is unbelievable.

Charlie: It was Adam, dad!

Lucifer: Adam? He's dead Charlie- I buried him myself.

Charlie: I thought so, too! He was looking for you! He's alive!

Lucifer gets his daughter to hide. Everything is in a state of chaos. He can't find Adam anywhere.

Until he returns home and sees someone sitting on his throne.

After a long, destructive fight, Lucifer realizes that Adam only absorbed the Sins. Their not dead

Adam has literally been taken over by the powers of Hell.

Can Lucifer contain and find a way to get Adam and the Sins back before he destroys Hell and everything undead thing in it??

How will Lucifer get Adam back??

Who knows 🤷

Adam: You can't defeat me now Lucifer!

Lucifer: Oh yes I can! I'm going to fuck the sins out of you!!

Adam: Wait what?

Ozzie inside: YEAH BABY!!

Sorry I'm feeling a little silly lmao 😂

[farmhandler]

lil prompt: wade gives logan and laura (and himself ofc) an at home spa day bc god knows they could both use it. (optional: with vanessa's help)

“I’m not good at this. Why do you keep making me do it?” Logan asked.

Wade sighed explosively, as though Logan's utter lack of interest in painting Wade's nails was a personal failing.

“Laura needs a role model now more than ever. How will you help paint her nails if you can’t even paint mine?”

"I think I could do a better job with my eyes closed," Laura said. Her eyes were, in fact, closed due to the cooling mask Wade had forced on her first thing when they'd come over. "Why do I have this on?"

"Your eyebags could give mine a run for their money," Wade said.

“She’s fucking eighteen years old," Logan said. "She doesn’t need my help painting her nails. And I'm pretty sure our 'eyebags' are genetic.”

“Then what about me, daddy?” Wade said, fluttering his lashes at Logan. Logan kicked his leg under the table.

Wade wasn't to be deterred. He wiggled his fingers imploringly, waiting, and Logan decided, fuck it, and he tried. Genuinely, really tried to paint Wade's nails, and paint them however he liked.

"Painting outside the lines," Wade said as he watched him make no attempt to try and keep the paint on his nail. "Your technique intrigues me, Peanut."

"Shut it. I've got this," Logan muttered. He finished painstakingly drawing a little star on each nail and then scraped away the paint around Wade's nail afterwards with tissues. He figured cleaning up this way was better than trying to be precise on the first try and failing anyway.

Wade kept a straight face the whole time. Then he lifted his nails and bit his lip, hard.

“Oh my god," he breathed. "What are those?"

"They're stars. The blue background is a night sky." Logan pointed the bottle at him. "You fucking do this shit with this tiny ass little brush. I'm not made for precision."

"You're telling me, sweetie. The edges of my nails are awful. They’re so bad. I love them,” Wade gushed. He smiled at Logan with genuine glee, and Logan felt warm all over in a way he fucking hated, because he'd been feeling it a lot more lately.

Then Wade’s phone rang.

“Can you answer that for me, sweetums? I’m currently very wet and trying to harden up.”

Shaking his head, Logan leaned forward and answered the call without looking. It was Vanessa, letting them know she'd found the LED lamp for the nails Logan had bought not knowing they needed a stupid lamp to work. Why they asked him to do this shit when he obviously didn't know what he was doing, he'd never know.

When she showed up, she also had a bunch of other shit Logan didn't want to have anywhere near him either.

"Sorry I took so long. I had to go to a couple places to find the lamp." Vanessa swept past Logan after tugging him down for a kiss on the cheek by the door and set her bag on the table. "You started without me?"

"Just some nail painting. And giving Laura's eyes a rest."

"My eyes are freezing," she said from the couch.

Logan sat down next to her, because it felt safer to do so. Laura hated this stuff as much as he did. Or at least he assumed she did. He'd never asked.

"You have any idea what all this is?" he asked her, once she lifted the mask from her face. Laura hummed.

"Some of it." She handed him one of the samples Vanessa had dumped from wherever she'd gone. "You should use this."

"Nighttime eye cream?" he read aloud. "And this is supposed to do what?"

Wade was sitting waiting for his nails to dry, so Vanessa walked over and ripped open the packet. She then dabbed the cream under his eyes and rubbed it in. When Logan tried to yank his head away, she grabbed his chin and made him sit tight.

"Come on, put up with it for five seconds," she said. "Trust me, you'll like this one."

The scent wasn't overpowering, which was a plus. Still strong, but that was most things. The cream had a surprisingly soft texture. Once she was done, he wasn't going to admit it felt kind of nice, but he didn't need to. Wade grinned at Logan like a loon.

"You don't have to look so fucking smug about all this," Logan muttered.

"You lost the bet, so I don't even need to pretend," Wade said cheerfully.

"Because you cheated," Logan hissed.

"And I didn't get caught!" Wade clapped his hands together, apparently deeming them dry. "All right, now let's get serious."

About half an hour later, Logan really was regretting letting Wade get away with cheating.

He had an itchy mask on his face, his hair was pinned back by a headband with kitten ears on it, and Wade could not look any more pleased if he tried. Logan had assumed the nails that needed a lamp to cure them were for Laura or Vanessa, but everybody insisted on putting them on him. So he sat there while these sparkly pink nails dried, and the facemask did whatever it was doing on his face.

Logan hated it, but Laura...Laura was laughing. She's been laughing. She thought Wade was funny, but Vanessa and Wade together really set her off. Logan had never seen her laugh so much.

Logan exhaled. Maybe regret wasn't the right word. And maybe he didn't hate it.

"You ready for your mud bath?" Wade asked, sitting down next to him.

"You'd better be joking, bub."

"Only slightly. I do have a hot tub that's been bath bombed with your name on it. And all the supplies I need to work on your feet while you do. Don't worry: I have fully and mentally prepared myself to pick the fungus out of your toes."

"Ew," Laura said to their right. Vanessa was in the middle of pulling her hair back to join the face mask crowd.

I'm not doing that, Logan almost said, and then looked at Laura, and Vanessa.

If he let the night end now, sure, he'd be more comfortable, but...well, he didn't hate all this.

The candles were nice. Wade had picked really subtle scents, and nothing too fruity or overly clean. They reminded Logan of his cabin, the one he hadn't visited in years. After a rain, when the forest surrounding it smelled heavy and sweet in a way he couldn't explain to anyone who didn't get it.

"Yeah, all right," he said. Wade looked surprised.

"You okay?" Wade asked, inexplicably. He scooted closer to Logan and touched his knee. "I really won't force you into it, if it's that bad."

"It's not." Logan touched his hand. Their nails looked completely mismatched, especially his. On his gnarled hands, the pink stood out badly. He lifted them into the light for inspection. "I could use a bath. You coming in with me?"

It was both a tease and a genuine question. Wade laughed, startled, still grinning that shit-eating grin.

"And fondle your toes directly? Absolutely."

Logan thought back to that kiss on his cheek. So he kissed Wade's cheek, and when Wade made a soft sound of surprise, Logan shifted his mouth a few inches over to Wade's.

Now Wade looked stunned. Someone cleared their throat behind them.

"No fondling," Logan said, rising to a stand.

"A little fondling," Wade said, finally recovering enough to speak. He leapt up and followed Logan.

[secretlysimpash]

Knight Gaz gets assigned to Princess Reader Princess Reader likes teasing Knight Gaz, but never gets a rise out of him Knight Gaz finally gets pushed too far and takes matters into his own hands cw: afab reader, smut, degrading, spanking, breeding kink smut begins after the break

Being the princess has its perks, like getting assigned your own personal knight for guarding purposes. And lucky for you, your knight is handsome. No, not just handsome..But a complete pretty boy. Kyle Garrick, a knight who goes by Gaz for some odd reason, has a face more suited for a prince or a model used for paintings or sculptures. So it should come as no surprise that you became a bit infatuated with him.

You took a bit of a liking to teasing him as well…Whenever you can. Light touches, brushing your leg against his when you’re seated next to each other, innuendos that are not lost on him…But none of it seems to really get a rise out of him. How frustrating.

That is…Until one day. It was a nice spring day, a quiet day at that. No issues to be dealt with, no threats…Just relaxation. Guards, servants, maids, and a few knights were enjoying tea or just taking in the beauty of the palace garden. Among the knights was your personal knight…Gaz, who’s beautiful, brown eyes met yours almost immediately, as if he could sense that you were up to something. 

Sure enough…You gave him a cheeky grin and turned around, bending over to look down at some roses, that’s all…That’s definitely all this was, and certainly not you showing him what’s under your dress. Why would you be showing him that when there’s absolutely nothing there? That little display alone is enough to make him stand up and excuse himself…Discreetly dragging you along with him before anyone else can notice.

And that is how you wound up here in his chambers. Laying on your stomach, face shoved into a pillow with your hips lifted up. After he pushed you down onto the bed, he hastily tugged his trousers down enough to free his length…Which he wasted no time in rubbing between your slick folds after shoving the skirt of your dress up.

“You…Think you can get away with that?” Your knight hissed directly into your ear. Gone was his professional, cool facade. “Flashing me like that…In front of the guards, the servants, what if your bloody parents saw that? You…Dirty…Fucking…Slag…”

Each word of that last sentence is punctuated with a rough thrust, the final word being followed by a rough slap to your ass. That slap earned a yelp out of you, which egged him on to slap that same spot again.

“Gods…Do you know what you do to me?” He gritted out, delivering another slap to your other cheek. “You have no idea how many times I laid right here…Thinking of you…So I wouldn’t drag you off to do exactly this…”

You couldn’t form a coherent thought, let alone a coherent sentence as he slapped the other cheek once again. His thrusts did not let up, and he let out a cruel laugh when he felt you clenching around him. 

“Are you going to cum? Do you like this? Being fucked stupid by your knight? Answer me, you filthy excuse of a princess…”

“Yes…! Yeh-yes, yes, Gaz…!” You finally manage to cry out, words muffled by the pillow.

“Yes? Mmhf…Yes, you want to cum?” He asked, his words rough as he slowed. “Then tell me…Say that you want me to breed you…Say it…”

You try to push your hips back against him, trying to get him to move again, but this earns you another rough slap before he holds your hips in place. He leans down a bit, until his lips are right beside your ear as he whispers out the next words.

“No…No cumming until you say it…” He sneered, you could just hear the smug, borderline cruel grin in his words. “Say it…Say you want your knight to breed you, say that you want my seed…”

He would have taken the way your pussy clenched around him again as an answer, but no…No, he’s wanted to hear these words from you. He was tired of imagining it whenever he thrusted up into his fist. No longer would it be a fantasy.

“Plea…Please…Kyle…” You finally whimper out, tears of pleasure and frustration in your eyes. “Kyle, I want you…Need you to breed me, please…Fuck, I want you to fill me up…!”

“Now was that so hard, princess…?” 

The use of his name was certainly a bonus for him…In an instant, Gaz is once again pounding into you, driving his hips forward so roughly that each thrust results in the sound of skin against skin. That accompanied with the wet sounds of your arousal nearly drowns out your muffled moans. Gaz responds to your moans by pressing his face into your shoulder, biting down hard as one of his hands snakes down under you. 

If you weren’t already close, the way his fingers circle your clit might be the thing that sends you right over the edge. He toys with the hardened bud, rubbing as he keeps his pace up. Finally, you clench around him one more time, your release tearing through you and making you twitch and writhe beneath him. Gaz groans against your shoulder, a soft curse leaving him as his length twitches inside of you. 

“Fuck…Fuck…Say my name again…Say it again, say it while I fuck the future of this kingdom into you…”

And just as he asked, you complied obediently…You moaned out his name over and over and over again. “Kyle, Kyle, Kyle!” is a mantra on your lips as he buries himself to the hilt. He muffles his own sounds as he releases, coating your insides with a few final thrusts. His head rests at the junction of your neck and shoulder, hips still thrusting shallowly. 

He sits up a bit after a moment, at long last allowing your hips to lower. But he stays inside of you, carefully maneuvering you onto your back. The sensation of him still being inside of you makes you whine from overstimulation, which he responds to with some gentle shushing. 

“Shh…We’re not done…Not yet…” He says, his voice somewhat resembling his usual tone once again. He sits up on his knees, looking down at you with an almost glazed over look. Completely drunk on you. “Just lay down, relax…I’ll take care of you…”

His sweet, honeyed words surround you as his hands roam around your body. Your eyes flutter shut as he slowly begins thrusting again, much gentler than before, hands sliding up to cup your breasts…Oh, he can’t wait to see them fuller in a few months.

[nemesis-writer]

UnwantedRansom Reader :b

-What song/s would you represent reader's relationship between morgan and damian?

-Can you write a short snippet about it? (only if you have the time of course)

Hi sweet anon sure!

Masterlist

Here are the songs:

Damian/Morgan:

🎵Highway to hell- AC/DC🎵 🎵WTF- (I forgot)🎵 🎵Class Fight- Melanie Martinez🎵 🎵The Principal- Melanie Martinez🎵 🎵Nurse's office- Melanie Martinez🎵 🎵Demons- Doja Cat🎵 🎵SOS-Rihanna(only the 'someone come and rescue me')🎵 🎵Humble- Kendrick Lamar🎵

Reader/Morgan:

Best friend- Sawtiee Princess Diana- Nicki Minaj, Ice Spice Bundles- (I forgot)

Everything based on this:

Reader/ Damian

(I don't know how to describe it but this is how I can describe it, I hope u love it<3)

(Scenarios for each song under the cut, but for Damian/Morgan)

🎵Highway to hell- AC/DC🎵 🎵Nurse's office- Melanie Martinez🎵

When Damian was visiting the Stark tower to see you, he saw Morgan in your room instead.

"What the fuck are you doing in my sister's room?" Morgan asked.

"Your sister? She's my big sister asshole." Damian interjected

"I'm gonna make this easier for you." Morgan said and then stood up.

She pounced on Damian and started hitting him everywhere.

5 mins later...

"AHH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING!!" They looked at you and they immediately stopped.

"He hit me first sis." Morgan then hugged you and discreetly scratched her own face while hugging you.

Well let's just say that Damian won't be going to the Stark Tower for a while.

🎵WTF- (I forgot)🎵 🎵SOS-Rihanna(only the 'someone come and rescue me')🎵

Morgan saw Damian in the mall when the Waynes were trying to buy gifts for you. Since Morgan doesn't want them to take her sister away. She decided to set them up.

She took some expensive toys and gadgets and placed multiple in their pockets and bags so when they exit, the security checks their bags to see Apple phones, Barbie dolls, nintendo games, and some candy.

🎵Class Fight- Melanie Martinez🎵 🎵The Principal- Melanie Martinez🎵

Bruce intentionally put Damian in Morgan's school for the sake of spying on you because you'd always pick her up. Even though she's now 15, and you got a job.

So of course Morgan had to make Damian's life in her school a living hell.

It all started with spitballs, then gum on the table, then paint on his seat, and it got so bad when she put pink dye on his shampoo. Damian of course, can't retaliate to prevent expulsion.

Morgan then started to make rumors especially that he was a Nazi, Robin, or even a porn star.

Everyone, well most of them anyway, started to insult him. He couldn't kick someone because that would mean suspension and an addition to his record.

Morgan started to add up by injuring herself just to show it to the teacher and report it to the principal. She was able to be absent from school, whilst putting Damian in detention for horrible behavior.

🎵Demons- Doja Cat🎵 🎵Humble- Kendrick Lamar🎵

(Morgan's POV of Chapter 3)

"Listen biatch, after what you did to Jenny, you can't be here." I flip my hair back

"She's my sister"

"Only by blood." I noticed

"I love her." Damian tries to argue

"You just want an excuse to be here. I know I'm better than youo because I am better than you." I brag

"I am special." Damian retorts

"Your mentally special, Tiny Tim. Security!" I call out

Security goes to me.

"Please escort this child, he's 13 not 18 because he blipped and their are strict rules that 17 and above are allowed to drink." I pleaded.

"I'm DAMIAN FUCKING WAYNE!!!" Damian yells.

"Oh I'm a teenage mama's boy and the only way to seem mature is to drink alcohol and masturbate in front of pictures of women who are out of my league. Security get him out of my sight." I complain.

A/N: I hope you love this Anon!

[kurczeno]

ok so first of all - i agree on everything except the minrathous thing. Sort of.

The choice IS bullshit, because by helping Treviso you help the Crows (which I think is something u missed - the fact that he is a GOOD crow, bcs crows are now good which is a fucking joke) but also they don’t have an army, one of a few things VG got right. So they need your help more.

but by missed i dont mean to criticize - for me its just another thing i hate about him. That they want us to like the first talon’s grandchild, as if the previous games didn’t paint a detailed enough picture of the Crows. good, he didnt have to go through what others did - i wonder why?

The lack of personality is hilarious. I swear, he mentions coffee in EVERY conversation and I think that Lucanis is actually a warning - he’s what happens if you let millenials write a game. Seriously, I like my man like I like my coffee - fucking dead. Also tbh every single Crow in the game (even tho I hate what they did with the guild) is more interesting.

Spite is even worse than the Crows - it absolutely shits on what being an abomination meant in the previous games (anders was floppy, but it was still interesting and consequential. Besides it made some sense, if we compare him to Wynne) and makes a demon behave like a fucking 10 year old? Well, at least he has more personality than Lucanis, but shit, go back, please. + as you said, it affects nothing. Spite is there to be a hot, little quirk, nothing more. Remember when we had mages loose their mind, because of a demon? Our assassin is above that, I guess.

And yes, the Neve romance is just so bad. I mean honestly, if it was more like Isa/Fenris I’d kinda like it, because that’d be about sex. But I can’t imagine her carrying a conversation with this man for too long.

(although as for fenris - he has too many outcomes and they didn’t want to bother with our choices. Also the game’s too bland for him - they didn’t even want to risk making Minrathous racist, so having someone as complicated as Fenris would be a no no. Plus they wouldn’t be able to write him)

(plus who’d look at any man when neve is right there. the only companion that matters. davrins cool tho)

And while we're at it, why is Lucanis even a thing?

He has no personality other than that he likes coffee. The only way to romance him is to blight Minrathous and give it to the Venatori.

He got hired to kill a God, and he misses TWICE. And the second time it costs us a companion.

He wasn't picked as a sacrifice option, because he is so replaceable. Nobody would notice if he wasn't there.

We could've had Fenris instead and he would've been a great fit.

Lucanis is bound to a demon, and they build it up as a big deal (because it has been a huge deal with other characters) but then it doesn't go anywhere. He tells you he's going to separate from or stay with Spite and that's that.

?????????

He's a bad fit for Neve. He's a terrible assassin. And if I were even remotely attracted to men Davrin is right there. He's got the jaw line. He's got the hair. He's got the griffon.

And you're all pining for that wet wash cloth instead.

[murdleandmarot]

@margo-mania ya boy razzle, and a special guest….

(Dude you ate when you created razzle’s backstory, actually insane, 10/10 in terms of themes and motifs and implications, so so good)

[valgeristik]

Ничего не останется от нас, Нам останемся, в лучшем случае, мы

hi. hello. listen to this song

i have so many thoughts about these two. oh my god. maybe i will write it out some day, but for now drawing it out will do

translation will be under the cut! knowing the words does add to the work so i do recommend reading it. or just enjoy the art <3

Vetted Gaza Evacuation Fundraiser List

E-sims donation

heres the translation, color coded according to how i broke it up for the art. just in casies

first page:

Love is scarier than war

Love strikes more true than steel

second page:

More true, because of your own volition

third page:

You run towards all the winds

Let there be pain and eternal battle

Not atmospheric, not earthly

fourth page:

But definitely with you

caption:

There will be nothing left of us,

we will be left with, in the best case, ourselves

[sophiethewitch1]

You mentioned that all the Wayne's post thirst traps. And that Damian's are like Victorian women showing some racy ankle. What does he consider a thirst trap then.

Have you ever seen a man in a dark turtle neck sweater.

[pureshoney]

"you think you were good at the restaurant, princess?" now that abel has to laugh at, as if he doesn't remember the insistent teasing she dolled out the entire night. she might have been more subtle about it at the beginning of their night, but abel saw it in her eyes the whole night that she was plotting. including the way she ate her food off the fork, but then again, that might have been partially his own fault because he thought anything the redhead did was hot. "remember the diner? i don't think a good girl would finger fuck herself on a booth … what do you have to say about that one?" he needs her to take that damn dress off, even more than he needs to get rid of his own. "i do love it when you cum, princess. but I'm really starting to think that, you know, I rarely go through with those punishments you deserve … so I believe that I'm going to have to actually do them even if it causes me to suffer too," words roll off his tongue with a shrug of his shoulders. but would homme really suffer? sure, he might not get to feel the warmth of her mouth or the tightness of her cunt or the wetness of both, but he surely would cum regardless. take out his cock, stroking it over her until he paints that pretty face with white ropes while his girl whines and pleads for him to let her cum. "I think I might have liked that, actually, baby. would make you keep that veil on over your head while I stretched you out," and indeed, would have made the fantasy even filthier. not to say he doesn't love this sexy little red dress, because he does. "i ruined you, princess? turned you into my personal little whore?" knowing he has had ainsley in a way that no other man has was fucking intoxicating. "what? you told me you wanted to apologize for your sins? i'm only letting you rid yourself of that filthiness," green hues drop down to his hand, bringing it up toward his mouth and licking that arousal clean from digits. abel watches his girl as she sinks down to her knees, moving to brush a loose tendril of hair behind her ear. right-hand moves to undo his zipper and button, pulling out his engorged cock and beginning to stroke himself. "you want to do all of it all over again? such a naughty girl … you'll have to do a lot of repentance, baby. i don't think words will be enough to save you."

admittedly, it wasn't all that difficult to figure out that ainsley was not determined to become an angelic and softly spoken born again virgin. it seems like the most dull and boring life a person could lead, especially when she had a boyfriend like abel. "i'm trying my best", femme whispers, a faux sadness in her tone as she turns those wide hues on her man. he would never believe her, mainly because he knew the type of girl she was — the one who strips in cars and runs her mouth until she's getting it fucked. "no! i can be good and i have been good", redhead argues, although she knows it's a losing fight. she's the underdog and bound to come last. "wasn't i good when we went to that restaurant? i sat nice and pretty across from you, didn't i?" well, for the first course or so. "daddy ... " word is a whine, a plea as he threatens to take away her orgasms. "i'm not a brat daddy, not all the time and you love it when i cum." and really, punishing her would only equal punishing himself too. "my pussy gets so tight when i cum, daddy. don't you remember? maybe i should remind you how good it feels clamping you", ainsley teases, though she tries to hide it behind innocence, as if she's merely stating a fact as opposed to tempting her man in to forgetting about that whole punishment thing. her dress was perfect for tonight, a lightweight silk fabric that clung to her frame in all the right places, short enough to render her unable to fully bend over but long enough to not outright look as if she was a desperate slut. "what would you have preferred me to wear then? a nun's outfit?" brows quirk, mildly distracted by the way he tugs at her nipple, a shiver of pleasure going right to her soaked core. his neck kisses would be the death of her, ainsley was positive of that fact. a soft whimper escapes as he nips and sucks at the tender flesh, lids fluttering as her body lazily rolls back against him. "mm, maybe you did — but i was never like this before. you've changed me." a massive understatement, given how nasty and downright filthy the femme has become since they first met. the single finger pushing inside of her makes ainsley moan, arching her back as her body screams for more — one finger isn't enough to satisfy her. "huh? n — no father", fuck, she definitely did not agree with what he was saying. "so mean", she whispers, full blown pout on her lips as she mourns the loss of his hand. "but i'll confess, i'll tell you all the awful things i've thought and done." sees no other option, craving his touch like a drug she can't quit ainsley slowly turns to face her handsome man, lowering herself down to the cool floor in front of him. "father, forgive me for i have sinned ... " hands come together at her chest, a mock attempt at appearing repentant and devout. a perfect little catholic girl. "these are my sins ...", dark rimmed hues stare up at him as she drags her tongue across her bottom lip, "i've been a filthy cum dump for my daddy, father. i've ridden his dick so hard it's made it hard to walk. i've sucked his fat cock while he's been driving his fancy car and i want to do all of it all over again."

[lalalaugenbrot]

Attempt at a Comprehensive List of

Alexander von Humboldtʼs Potential Boyfriends

When if not now that Alex came 2nd in the @napoleonic-sexyman-tournament (what a time to be alive) would be the perfect time to finally thoroughly pick his private life apart. Strangely it has always been a mystery even to me (and of course overall it will remain a mystery until the end of times), but I still thought it was about time to at least get some order in the few things that we do know – mainly for myself but also, I dare say, for the public. You (the public!) will find a short text for every friend under the cut ￬.

disclaimers:

a) I tried to pick the most appropriate picture of everyone but please imagine especially the first ones a lot younger than they are in the pictures

b) it’s a potential boyfriends list, meaning: I’m not saying Alex definitely had romantic and/or sexual relationships with any let alone all of these men, it’s just a list of men where it seems at least possible; but ultimately, of course, we do not know and will never know

c) Alex lived for almost 90 years, and even though his textual remains can seem infinite, there is a lot we don’t know about him, especially his private life, not least because he habitually destroyed almost all of his private letters (which is also why for all of his correspondences we only know the letters he wrote but almost never the ones he received) − so I don’t think there’s any way this list is exhaustive (let me know if you think anyone is missing?)

d) Bonpland is not in this because Alex went out of his way to specifically state that his relationship with Bonpland was purely scientific

e) the point of this post isn’t to determine his sexuality, but since it has already come up, just a couple of words on him being on the asexual spectrum: that is perfectly possible and maybe not even unlikely, he said things about himself that could be interpreted as such (not wanting to marry, not having sensual needs); but I think it’s good to keep two things in mind about that: 1. not wanting to get married was a big thing in 1800, something you had to explain yourself for and not wanting to get married as a man also obviously meant not wanting a wife, it was by no means a question on whether or not wanting a significant other and/or sex; 2. the narrative of his sex-less life at least partly derives from the (mainly 19th/20th century) wish for him not to have been (actively) homosexual

f) I hate to be that person, but it has to be said: language and culture back then were much more emotional and expressive than we are used to today, so not everything that sounds super intimate or even romantic to us (language-wise) has to actually have been meant that way; of course this doesn’t rule out anything either but it’s a thing to keep in mind

g) if anyone is interested in sources or further reading on anything particular, do not hesitate to hit me up! But i’m not adding any of that to this post because 1. it’s already 2 km long and 2. this is tumblr dot com

Wilhelm Gabriel Wegener (1767-1837)

18-year-old Alex met Wilhelm in 1787 during the one semester he studied at the University of Frankfurt (Oder). Wilhelm was a (protestant) theology student and on 13 February 1788 they made a “holy” oath to “eternal brotherly love”. They wrote each other very cheesy letters, very much in the Empfindsamkeit fashion of the time, proclaiming their eternal and ever-growing love for each other. There was no one on earth, Alex wrote to him once (and in Italian no less), whom he loved as ardently as him (“Non vi è uomo sopra la terra ch'io amì così ardammente che lei…”). He also told him that, ever since he had met him, it seemed to him that God had created people only in pairs, because no one else could ever compare to what he meant to him. In his letters Alex also repeatedly refers to the many hours spent together (“chatting”) in a certain armchair in Frankfurt and proclaims that he has never been happier than in that very chair.

They kept contact for a couple of years after their time in Frankfurt, but at some point their friendship faded out.

Carl Ludwig Willdenow (1765-1812)

Willdenow (a published botanist) and Alex met in 1788 in Berlin, when Alex had one day decided to just call at his house to ask him to teach him botany. Willdenow agreed and they became friends quickly, spent a lot of time together, and when Alex wandered through Berlin on his own to collect plants, he would afterwards bring them to Willdenow who would then identify them for him.

We do not know a lot about their friendship during that time (and maybe I only included him in this because I needed 9 tiles) but at least one phrase in Alex’s autobiography fragment calls our attention, not least because it’s highlighted by what I like to call a Streisand strike-through: “I became enthusiastically fond of him” or “I grew to love him enthusiastically” (“Ich gewann ihn enthusiatisch lieb”, written in 1801 and crossed out roughly 50 years later).

They stayed in contact even after Alex had left Berlin a couple of months later: in 1795 Alex became godfather of Willdenow’s son and in 1810 he convinced him to come to Paris to work on his botanical collections from the South America trip. Sadly, Willdenow fell ill in 1811 and died in 1812 in Berlin.

Karl Freiesleben (1774-1846)

Alex met Karl in 1791 in Freiberg, where both studied geology and mining at the renowned Bergakademie. Karl was the son of a local mining family and Alex learnt a lot from him about his new profession. They both were nerdy about stones and minerals in ways you couldn’t even begin to imagine. They gifted each other minerals, went down into the mines together, and in August 1791 they made a 200 km long geological expedition through the mountains of Bohemia on foot. But aside from pages-long enthusiastic rants about geology, Alex’s letters to Karl are also full of sentimental love declarations. He called him Herzens-Freisesleben, Herzens-Karl or Herzensjunge (roughly “my heart’s Freiesleben/Karl/boy”) and once finished a letter with: “going to bed now and I’ll be happy when I dream of you” — a passage Karl thoroughly struck through later, probably so no one else could read it, but someone deciphered almost all the struck through passages anyway (not all heroes wear capes!).

Karl and Alex stayed (sporadic and long-distance) friends for the rest of Karl’s life.

Reinhard von Haeften (1772-1803)

The above picture shows a snippet from one of Alex’s travel journals where he noted Reinhard’s birthday (“14 Mai R.”) because sadly we don’t have a picture of Reinhard. But let’s hear how Alex described him:

“This Reinhard v. Haeften has been my only and hourly company for a year now. I live with him, he visits me in the mountains. [...] I have already ridden 8 miles [60 km] just to see him for a couple of hours. He is very tall, taller than most men and he’s only 22 years old but looks more mature than me [at 25]. He has a very remarkable face and everyone finds him to be one of the most beautiful men, and I too think he’s beautiful, but most importantly I have never seen purity of the soul, kindness and courtesy being reflected in anyone’s features as much as in his.”

Alex and Reinhard met in 1793 in Bayreuth (where Alex now worked as a mining official) and they quickly moved in together. However, shortly before meeting Alex, Reinhard had also managed to make a baby with a married woman 4 years older than him. Alex was friendly with Christiane, the child’s mother and helped to keep the birth a secret. The boy (named Friedrich Gustav Alexander, Alex’s godson and surely named after him) had to spend the first years away from his parents. In the meantime, Reinhard continued to live with Alex, accompanied him on business trips and mineralogical expeditions and in 1795 they went on a two-month trip through Northern Italy and Switzerland. It was only with and through him, Alex wrote to Reinhard once, that he could live, only close to him that he could be fully happy.

Later, after Reinhard and Christiane had finally gotten married (and reunited with their son), Alex wrote him a very long letter, proposing for the three of them to (continue to?) live together with Reinhard as head of the family and to settle for quiet life in Switzerland, Italy, or some small town in the west of Germany. That plan never worked out, but “Rein” (as Alex called him), Christiane, their by now two children and Alex lived and travelled together for another two years while Alex was already preparing for his big journey.

After he had sailed for the Americas in 1799, he tried his best to stay in contact with them. In his letters, he called them his “Herzensmenschen” (again, roughly: “his heart’s humans”), wrote them that he was dreaming about them day and night and how much he wished that his – their – Rein could be with him to see all the marvels, too. But cross-atlantic communication was bad during that time and in both directions most letters never arrived.

Sadly, Reinhard unexpectedly died in 1803 while Alex was still in America, meaning they never got to meet again. Alex stayed in contact with Christiane and the children − the only survivors of the shipwreck, as he put it − and wrote Christiane how he still remembered their time together, along with all the hopes and dreams that they had had and that despite the “all-robbing fate”, there was something unalterable in the depth of their love, that could only die with them. When Christiane remarried and had another son in 1806, she named him Gustave Louis Reinhard Alexandre. Alex continued to financially support Christiane and the children and in 1813, Reinhard’s son Fritz (Alex’s godson) visited Alex in Paris for three months.

Carlos Montúfar (1780-1816)

Alex met Carlos in 1802 in Quito and despite him having no scientific qualifications whatsoever, Alex chose Carlos to accompany him on his further journey. This decision offended botanist, geographer and astronomer Francisco José de Caldas (who himself had hoped to join the expedition) so much that he, in a letter to botanist José Celestino Mutis, famously called Carlos “[señor Barón de Humboldt’s] Adonis”, probably insinuating that Alex had picked Carlos purely for his looks, or even more.

Together with the rest of the party, Alex and his supposed “Adonis” travelled what today is Ecuador (where they climbed the Chimborazo), Peru, Mexico, Cuba and the USA. At least once during that journey (but perhaps regularly?) they shared a bed (as in some kind of temporary/mobile  accomodation) which we know because Alex explicitly says so in his travel journal when he describes a night in which Carlos had very bad stomach cramps which Alex tried to ease by heating handkerchiefs over the fire for him in the middle of the night.

Carlos accompanied Alex back to Europe in 1804 and stayed with him in Paris for a couple of months (where they most likely both attended Napoleon’s coronation) until he ultimately left to go to Madrid. But since Carlos had trouble getting money from South America, he still had to rely on Alex’s support. However, over time his contact to Alex seems to have broken off, because in a letter from 1806, Carlos complained about Alex not answering him anymore (“¡Qué largo silencio!”) and then told him, quite dramatically, that he was running out of money, and that he, Alex, was his only friend, his only hope, and the only person he knew in Europe who could tell him what to do. Whether all of Alex’s letters had gotten lost in the mail and whether Alex ended up helping him out or not, I think we don’t know. (But knowing him as I do and since he after all kept that letter, I’m sure that he did.)

Later, Carlos went back to South America, where he (alongside Símon Bolívar) fought to liberate the continent from the Spanish Crown − a fight he unfortunately didn’t survive: he was captured and executed by the Spanish in 1816.

Joseph Louis Gay-Lussac (1778-1850)

Alex and Gay (that’s what Alex called him, no pun intended) first met in 1804 in Paris, just after Alex’s return from America. Before, Gay had done two things: 1. contributed to a harsh critique on one of Alex’s papers, 2. ascended 7016 m in a hot-air balloon to investigate the air up there − a world record at the time and more than 1000 m higher than Alex had been on the Chimborazo, which had then also been a world record (in recorded European history).

Evidently, these were the best conditions for them to totally hit it off: they almost immediately started to work on the evaluation of Gay’s balloon ascent and often spent entire days working together in Gay’s room, from 9 am until after midnight. In a letter to his father, Gay wrote that Alex was the man with the best heart he had ever known, that their tastes and sentiments were absolutely the same − and that their hearts felt a great need to see each other very often.

After the publication of their paper (in which they, without fully realising it, also first identified the chemical composition of water: H2O), they (and another friend) went on a six-month field trip through Switzerland and Italy − where they were lucky enough to witness both an earthquake and a resulting Vesuvius eruption. They ended their journey in Berlin where Gay stayed at Alex’s for a couple of months and even started to learn German until he unexpectedly had to leave for Paris. His absence, Alex wrote after Gay had left, pained him a lot.

When Alex finally returned to Paris as well, they shared a single room at the École Polytechnique and even after Gay became a father in 1808 and married in 1809, Alex continued to (at least occasionaly) live with his family for many years. Gay’s first son (born in 1810) was named Jules Alexandre and while I have no proof that he was named after Alex, I think it’s safe to assume. Alex seems to have also been very intimately integrated into the family life, because he once wrote to Willdenow (with a humorous undertone of course): “We are always pregnant and just had a girl again. Right now we’re not feeling anything though.” Alex was also there to help when an explosion in a laboratory accident injured Gay’s eyes so badly that Alex and another friend had to take him home in a blindfold.

No letters between the two have survived (that we know of), but we do know that in the years after they first met, Alex considered Gay his best friend and “one of the kindest beings in the world”, that he named an American plant genus after him (Gaylussacia), and that they used “tu” with each other (which was very uncommon in France at the time except for childhood friends and family). They stayed friends for the rest of their lives and formed a kind of trio with Arago (see below).

Karl von Steuben (1788-1856)

We don’t know when exactly they first met but according to Alex they started to see each other daily in 1812 at the studio of painter François Gérard, where Alex had then started to take drawing lessons. Steuben, a young aspiring artist, lived and worked at Gérard’s studio. According to Alex, they “drew and painted” together “daily” for at least one or two years. Withdrawn from all other society, he wrote, this was now his “only joy” (interestingly almost the exact same wording he had used to describe his relationship with Reinhard 20 years earlier). However, it had perhaps been one of Alex’s exaggerations because he at least seems to have attended the famous salons Gérard held at his studio, where all the cool Paris people came to hang out. Alex reportedly talked incessantly, stayed late into the night (the main thing usually didn’t get going until midnight) and was found there again, freshly dressed and shaved, already at 7 in the morning.

In the meantime, Alex had started to torment basically everyone around him to commission Steuben to paint them, their sons, daughters, fiancés etc. to help Steuben support his poor mother in St. Petersburg. In 1814, even Alex’s brother noted that Alex had suddenly become strangely interested in art. In the same year, Alex became godfather to Steuben’s newborn son Alexander.

However, the biggest commission Alex got Steuben was a life-sized full-body painting of himself, which he intended to gift to his sister-in-law. It took 7 years to finish and in the end Alex’s brother had to pay for transport and framing because Alex had run out of money. Neither his brother nor his sister-in-law were overly enthusiastic about the likeness of the painting or Steuben’s talent in general but they still put it up in their home because after all, as his brother put it, they loved Alex and always liked a picture of him around.

Alex and Steuben stayed in at least loose contact for many years and Alex occasionally even still tried to get him commissions. Steuben’s painting of Alex hung in the Humboldt residence in Tegel for over a century before it was ultimately destroyed in WWII. Apparently though, another Alex portrait by Steuben from 1815 still exists in a private collection somewhere.

François Arago (1786-1853)

Arago, a young astronomer, was on a scientific expedition through Spain when he got entangled in the Peninsular War: mistaken for a French spy, he got arrested and incarcerated, managed to flee, was captured again, transferred, released, drifted off at sea to Algeria, all the while managing to hold on to his most valuable possession: his scientific records, which he kept hidden under his shirt at all times. When Alex heard about this (the two had never met before), he was so impressed by his courage and determination that he sent a letter to congratulate him — and to offer him his friendship. And in fact, one of the first things Arago did when he finally returned to Paris in 1809 was to go and meet Alex. It was the beginning of a 44-year-long friendship. They saw each other almost daily, worked together at the observatory, planned an expedition to Tibet (which never happened), and actually travelled at least to London in 1817 to visit Alex’s brother, who commented to his wife: “Alexander has arrived yesterday. But he isn't staying with me, even though his room had already been prepared. You know his passion to always be with one person who is his favourite at that time. Now he has the astronomer Arago who he doesn't want to part with (...) So they're staying at a nearby inn.” Just as with Gay, Alex and Arago used “tu” with each other and after Arago had gotten married in 1811, Alex was close with his wife and children as well as with his siblings, nieces and nephews — in some letters he even considered himself part of the Arago family.

When Alex was forced to move back to Berlin in 1827 to work for the king, he wrote Arago desperate letters on how much their separation pained him, how much he missed him every hour of every day. In the following 26 years, Alex’s letters to him were full of yearning pleas for just a couple of lines of his hand, which, as he wrote, always made his heart flutter. However, Arago often didn’t respond for months, but when he did, he at least knew to reassure Alex, writing things like: “Outside my family, you are, without any comparison, the person I love most tenderly in this world.” Alex kept a portrait and a large Arago bust in his study in Berlin, and until his late seventies, he travelled to Paris regularly (that is, every few years), first and foremost to see Arago. (Actual quote from 78-year-old Alex in a letter to his niece: “Every morning at half past eight without interruption, I’ve been at Arago’s in the observatory, today for the 62nd time.”) According to Arago, he and Alex have only been angry with each other one single time in all those decades and even that went over in an instant.

They saw each other for the last time in January 1848, on the last night of Alex’s last stay in Paris. When Arago fell ill five years later, his family informed Alex of his worsening condition — but Alex couldn’t travel to Paris to see him one last time. Even over a year after Arago’s death, Alex wrote that the memory of those last moments in January 1848 vividly came back to him during the night at least once a week. He outlived his friend by 6 years.

[bosqueinvisible]

neil mccauley *crowd cheers*

[bibleofficial]

god bless sleeping 12hrs nightly