#I COULDN'T DO BETTER IF I WAITED HALF MY LIFE (john brooke)

[trtledove-blog]

do you all remember that part in the book where meg tells laurie to behave himself for brooke, and he says something like “how do you know i haven’t been?” and her response is that she can tell by brooke’s manner as he’s leaving? 

we all do realize this means that meg has been consistently positioning herself at the window where she can see him every day at the same time, right? 

it started of as that’s just where she chose to sit but then she did it because she would see him

she didn’t really realize why she was doing it at first 

she checks on him every day to see if laurie was making his life difficult or not 

i have so many feelings about meg march and john brooke

[trtledove-blog]

also can we talk about the way he holds her hand in this scene? my heart!! 

[trtledove-blog]

meg, in the other boat, was delightfully situated, face to face with the rowers, who both admired the prospect and feathered their oars with uncommon “skill and dexterity.” mr. brooke was a grave, silent young man, with handsome brown eyes and a pleasant voice. meg liked his quiet manners, and considered him a walking encyclopedia of useful knowledge. he never talked to her much; but he looked at her a good deal, and she felt sure he did not regard her with aversion

[trtledove-blog]

hc Meg + John (Meg's take on the 'accidental' kiss)

oh my gosh brace yourself because i’m going to try to make this like an abbreviated version? of a meta post to come? but. i don’t know how well that’s gonna go. it might just be the full thing. let’s see what happens. 

so meg likes john from the very beginning. it starts off very simply: he’s good, and she realizes that very deeply. the nickname “mr. greatheart” really reflects all of the girls’ sentiments toward him, and it’s one meg adopts fondly. what starts as just a general sort of appreciation and respect develops over time into something of a crush, an attraction that she doesn’t know for what it is. she’s really very innocent when it comes to all matters of love, so i don’t think she realizes until quite late just what she feels for him, even though the feeling is there in some form all along. 

in fact, i don’t think she fully realizes why she thinks of him as often as she does until the “accidental” kiss. just a couple of chapters before that there’s the marmee line about meg “not loving john yet, but she will.” and i firmly believe marmee understands her daughters very thoroughly - - if she says meg doesn’t love john at that point, i’m inclined to believe her. but “she will” implies that there’s the beginnings of something there already. meg is already fond of mr. brooke, as is made plain in that conversation (”…please add that i send my love to john,” said mrs. march as she glanced over the letter, and gave it back. ”do you call him john?” asked meg smiling, with her innocent eyes looking down into her mother’s. “yes; he has been like a son to us, and we are very fond of him,” replied mrs. march, returning the look with a keen one. “i’m glad of that, he is so lonely […]”) it’s not the first time that meg’s care for john is made known - - she scolds laurie for giving him trouble, for instance - -  but it’s definitely a telling one. 

in between this point and the accidental kiss, meg “…was quite unlike herself. she started when spoken to, blushed when looked at, was very quiet, and sat over her sewing with a timid, troubled look on her face.” JO SAYS: “she feels it in the air - love, i mean - and she’s going very fast. she’s got most of the symptoms, - is twittery and cross, doesn’t eat, lies awake, and mopes in corners. i caught singing that song he gave her, and once she said “john.” as you do, and turned red as a poppy.” at this point, it’s fairly obvious to most of the marches that meg has some sort of feelings for john, and it was probably obvious that she was at least attracted to him from the beginning. it’s all just coming to a point, now: meg beginning to recognize her feelings, knowing that her parents like and approve of him a great deal, and to recognize that there’s a very good chance of her affections being returned. which we all knew from the start, but. you know. 

WHICH BRINGS US TO THE KISS ITSELF, at last. 

“for several minutes everybody seemed to lose their wits, for the strangest things were done and no one said a word. […] mr. brooke kissed meg entirely by mistake, as he somewhat incoherently explained. …” 

and then there’s this, after brooke GRABS LAURIE AND GETS THE HECK OUT, because he just kissed the girl he loves and isn’t at all engaged to yet, whoops: “mr. march told how he had longed to surprise them, and how, when the fine weather came,, he had been allowed by his doctor to take advantage of it; how devoted brooke had been, and how he was altogether a most estimable and upright young man. why mr. march paused a minute just there, and, after a glance at meg, who was violently poking the fire, looked at his wife with an inquiring lift of his eyebrows, i leave you to imagine; also why mrs. march gently nodded her head, and asked, rather abruptly, if he wouldn’t like something to eat.”  

meg is, um….obviously affected by the kiss, by her feelings for brooke, by all of it. poor dear little thing. there’s some complications when he actually comes to ask for her because she has some Notions about refusing a man’s first proposal, because jo is challenging her, and because she’s had “notions of coquetry” from sally and the others that she hasn’t had a chance to use yet. but she really, truly, honestly is in love with him, and - - as we see - - her attempts and playing with this fail utterly because of her feelings for him. 

she’s both pleasantly surprised by and a little embarrassed because of the kiss. it’s her first real kiss and it happens in the middle of a moment of great emotion at her father’s return from war. it also happens very quickly, and then is swallowed up in all of the other happenings, and she barely has time to realize it’s happening before it’s over. she gasps when it happens, probably even begins to kiss him back, but the realization that they’re SURROUNDED BY HER FAMILY comes too quickly much more than that. 

i’m quite sure she thinks about it all the rest of that night, and shows all those lovesick symptoms mentioned earlier: lots of jumping, blushing, picks at her food, doesn’t sleep much at all, because she keeps thinking of it, playing the moment back over and over in her mind, wondering if he was still thinking about her, what he was thinking, what would happen next. 

ASK ME QUESTIONS ABOUT MEG! : (always accepting)