#I *do* think that talking about these risks as though they're universally body horror is

[ct-hardcase]

just typed out a war and peace style post about wanting there to be an equivalent of body neutrality in feminist spaces re: periods/childbirth/etc and though there are so many caveats to what I have to say, I think that there can and should be a middle ground between "your divine feminine body was built for these processes and you will embrace the pain with grace/this is easy for everybody" and borderline misogynistic fearmongering surrounding standard bodily phenomena

[captainstarburst]

hey can you tell me more about captain starburst. I think he's really cool hehehe

YES ID LOVE TO. i made a big post about him here a little bit ago, but i always love the opportunity to infodump so i will try my best to give a full summary of aaaalllll his stuff. under the cut of course. warning for some body horror? esque stuff because i talked about his weird body

SO starting off i'm actually gonna talk a bit about nix, because starburst is an AU of him. nix is a god from a place called the purpose, and his story has a few similar themes to starb's. they both have a lot of focus on guilt after hurting others. nix, as opposed to starb, is a lot more aloof and at times abrasive, while starburst is overly cutesy and joyful. nix is a god that was forced into a "hero" position (more of a villain in the broader scope of things, but told what he was doing was for the greater good) while starburst has dedicated his life to heroism. they both started in a similar place, but diverged, with nix turning towards more selfish goals and starb forcing himself to be nothing but selfless. i should probably make some kind of big summary post for nix too at some point since i feel like people know less about him even though hes like, the first one, but that's besides the point.

he comes from a universe called superverse, which is a collaborative setting between me and a bunch of friends. it's basically just Supheroes With Capitalism, most heroes are there for show and entertainment exclusively, even if that's at the detriment of those in surrounding. specifically, he was made by a company called AMOEBA, who makes furries and sells them as tools, or otherwise less than people. they grow them in tubes LOL. starburst was made to be handed off to.. i just say The Government there isnt really anything specified there because i dont know government stuff. but they wanted to use him destructively, just to do whatever for their gain. cartoonishly evil american government you know. he was their first project, and quite literally an explosive failure. when he was born he exploded the entire building he was made in. his body's kind of fucked up and so are his powers!

in terms of his biology, the most notable thing about that part of him is that.. his body's full of a SUPER strong acid, and that's used almost exclusively to? destroy his own organs. if theres too many. because his body ALSO regenerates his organs, and like, makes multiple of them. that's why he has two hearts! it doesn't happen all the time, but sometimes he just gets a new organ. and if he has too many his body gets rid of some extra ones! it doesn't hurt him, but i imagine it probably feels.... weird. but that's why he has two hearts!

all of his powers are emotion based, and EXTREMELY volatile. when he's feeling any kind of strong emotion, including positive ones, and doesn't have it in check, he's at risk of just.. generally being way too strong, leaving holes in things or breaking stuff he grabs, he generates warmth in states like that and if it comes to too much of a head he will quite literally explode. he can also create stars, big or small, think like.. the variety of sizes that plates come in. when he's in control of his emotions, the stars are round and glow a warm yellow, and when he's not, they're pointed and sharp and more of a gray/white. when he's excited he also tends to have little glowing floating stars appear around him! he also has slow falling and healing powers, both that he has to be calm and focused to use. for specifically his healing, he has to make a wish to use it (like wishing on a star).

he was on his own for a while after he came out of the tube, wandering aimlessly before eventually becoming enraptured by the idea of heroism and helping people. he didn't really understand that heroes were just for show, and that influenced how he went about his career later down the line.. but early on, any time he tried to help people, it just ended in fire or explosions or some sort of harm coming to other people. he has a lot of guilt and repressed feelings because of this, and it took him a long time to learn to control his powers.

i use him in roleplays with my friends, and i ALSO use nix in those roleplays. the reason he was able to control his powers was because of nix helping him learn, and the two getting closer and eventually dating. he has a lot of partners and a lot of his story beats around him meeting these people he ends up caring so much about and helping them, and in turn learning more about himself.

i go over this in the post i linked above so i'll try to be brief, but along with him learning to control his powers, the first big thing that skyrockets him into being a known hero is when AMOEBA comes after him. they kidnap people, get him to come back to them, he ends up stabbing the guy in charge in self defense trying to free those people, and eventually does get out with them. AMOEBA is never punished for this, but they do leave starburst alone after that.

before he was a recognized hero, though, he met another AMOEBA creation, russian roulette. they WERE successfully used as a government weapon, and mistreated greatly. they captured starburst at one point, then they both broke out, and then they got too scared of being close to someone and they ran away from him. they were recaptured and promptly punished, and with nowhere to turn their anger at the situation, they started blaming him for what happened to them. for a long while the two had a really long running thing of getting into fights or chases or whatever but russian roulette never actually having it in them to hurt him. eventually they both get trapped together and still they refuse to kill him, which leads to them eventually talking it out and both of them agreeing they don't really want things to change, but they don't want to actually fight anymore. they're also something like partners?? but not exactly. its complicated and starburst has a lot of strange relationships with people where he just doesn't mind them being weird or trying to hurt him in the past hes a weird little guy LOL

a similar thing happens to him with another hero, villian spectasy (his hero name is hocus pocus.) villian comes from wealth due to his father being semi-famous, and is a little bit.. too self centered for his own good. the two enter into a business partnership after handling a fight well together, that kind of just ends up as villian turning starburst into his sidekick.. while the two also get into a romantic relationship. eventually they get into a disagreement publicly, culminating in starb telling villian he doesn't want to be his sidekick anymore. villian's whole thing is him kind of learning to be a better person, and i didn't wanna just like.. leave him stranded after doing a bad thing, and i also like him, so he and starb don't break up. starburst really wants to see him become a better guy, and villian really wants to be better because of that. and eventually he'll learn to be better for just. the sake of it. i think it's sweet.

and FINALLY, i will talk about tesla and scelestic. both are owned by my friend @apotheoseity!! scelestic is a villain organization, one of the bosses there (TISM) turns people with powers into tools and what have you. not a good explanation ask him more about it LOL. but starb gets kidnapped by them, mostly so TISM can harvest the aforementioned acid in his body and turn it into.. weird acid grenades. that's not the important part though, while he's there he meets teslacoil! who is tism's adopted snake son. the two get REALLY gay really fast, despite.. the kidnapping? and the evil surgery, and all the villainy stuff? starb just gets googoo gaga about him. it culminates in starburst getting kicked out of being kidnapped for being too gay LMAO. but the two kept in contact and eventually got married! they're the perfect couple, despite how beautifully strange they are. starb also eventually ends up reconciling with TISM after he marries tesla, and now he's just TISM's weird son in law.

i wanted to focus on specific story beats with characters and plots, and thus the timeline for this is kind of incorrect. the actual order of events is more like this: early starburst stuff, before he meets much of anyone -> he meets russian roulette and they're together for a bit before they run off -> he gets with nix -> AMOEBA comes back for him and he solves that whole thing -> he gets kidnapped by scelestic and meets tesla -> he and tesla get married -> he and villian have their whole thing -> he and rouls reconcile

he also has some other connections i didn't touch on- his adopted son is @apotheoseity's maya, and he's also a father figure to @pbjpuppy's flicker. he's also dating his motorcycle (it's name is the star strider), a big slime guy named glumby (from another plot with villian), and @pbjpuppy's vinny!

and very important hes ME! hes a representation of a lot of stuff to me, and also just... literally a representation of me, i represent myself as him more often than not (and nix, he just tends to be the cuter of the two i guess?) he carries a lot of guilt with him, and in general pushes himself to be something that's soft and cute and nice for others, and disregards a lot of his own feelings. he does almost nothing but work, and even if his work is exclusively helping others, he still does nothing but doing things for other people and not himself. and that's really important to me. i imagine in the future he'll grow into better habits, but right now his flaws are very meaningful to me.

this is SO SO long im sorry. theres so much to this guy and theres so much to. everything i write and all my characters. but if you read it all THANK YOU!! i don't usually talk this in depth about my characters, and it can feel a little vulnerable to do so, but i want them to be enjoyed to their fullest. and thank you for asking about him it means so much to me that people wanna know more about my stuff!!!

[waywardfangirl]

I was incredibly fortunate to get to write for the wonderful @fight-surrender in the Carry On Secret Snowflake exchange, and she gave some of the best prompts I've seen. I ended up choosing to write a meet-cute (a meet-ugly, really) that takes place on the beach and centers around Simon's new fixation on the supposed dangers lurking below the waves.

I have to give a giant thank you to @foolofabookwyrm and @caitybuglove23 for being excellent betas, cheerleaders, and for helping me get the fic formatted and posted when my computer stopped working - you guys are the best! 💜💜💜

You can read the fic below, or on AO3!

Simon

 

I've always wanted to go to the beach. Growing up in care, I never had the opportunity to, but now that Penny and I are done with university and enjoying weekends without the threat of homework hanging over our heads, I finally can. Of course, we don't live close to the beach, so our day trip took some planning, but it gave me time to look up all the best places to eat, and it gave Penny time to watch every possible documentary about the ocean. I watched a lot of them with her, and while I know I probably won't see all of the tropical fish that swam across our TV screen, I'm still really excited to see the ocean. 

 

Unfortunately, I also happened to be in the room while Penny watched some show called “Predators from the Deep”, or something along those lines, so my excitement is also tinged with trepidation (or outright fear) of some of the things lurking under the waves.

“Sharks aren’t anything to worry about, Simon! They don’t want to attack you, and the likelihood of even seeing a shark here is extremely low.”

 

“It’s not the sharks I’m worried about, Pen! It’s all of the other stuff, all those little parasites, and the poisonous things, and the spiny ones.” The documentary was filled with shadowy shots of spiked balls and spotted tentacles just waiting to attack some unsuspecting wader.

 

“Don’t eat any of it then,” she replies, hardly even paying attention to me as she smooths out her blanket and sets up the umbrella.

 

“What?”

 

“You said you were worried about the poisonous things, so just don’t eat anything you find in the ocean.”

 

“They can hurt me even if I don’t eat them! What about that one octopus?”

 

“That was venomous, not poisonous, there’s a difference.” She squirts sunscreen into her palms and then slaps them lightly onto my cheeks, not allowing me time to squirm away.

 

“Whatever, venomous then, there are still things to be scared of in there!”

 

Penny ducks under the arm I have flung out to point at the ocean with, and grabs two waters from our cooler.

 

“You’ll be fine Simon, I promise.” She shoves a bottle into my hands. “Rub in your sun cream, and let’s walk by the edge of the water, alright? You’ll like it, we can find shells!” She starts off, picking her way through the sand and looking back only once to make sure that I’m following her.

 

It turns out that the water feels quite nice, even soothing. The sounds of the waves and the feel of cool water splashing my ankles combine to make me feel safe. They make me forget about the horrors lurking off-shore.

Penny has a handful of shells and has started handing me others to put in the pocket of my swim shorts. I’ve found a few shells of my own too, but I stopped paying such close attention to the ground about ten minutes ago, when I noticed a man about our own age playing in the waves with his younger siblings.

 

He has dark hair, originally falling around his face but now wet with seawater and slicked back to emphasize his widow’s peak. He’s still too far away for me to tell what color his eyes are, but as Penny and I walk closer I’m able to make out more of his facial expressions. He seems to be putting on sneers for show and occasionally gives bright smiles for the younger kids swarming him. He’s wearing one of those long-sleeved swim shirts, but it’s clinging tight to his body. He looks like he could be a footballer with all of the muscles I can see, even at this distance.

 

I’ve been trying not to stare too openly at him, but I can’t really help it - there’s just something about him that keeps drawing me in.It’s almost as if I’m under some sort of spell or thrall. Right now though, I’m extremely glad I’ve been so captivated by him, because I seem to be the only person on the beach who realizes the danger we’re all in.

 

Curling around the man’s left ankle are the tentacles of an octopus, surely about to stick its fangs into him and inject him with its venom (or whatever it is octopuses do to kill people).

 

"Octopus!" I yell. I’m at a loss for any other words, but I’m desperately trying to warn Penny as I sprint off to rescue him.

 

"Ooh, where?" She doesn't sound nearly concerned enough for the looming threat of death hanging over us all, but I'll talk to her about taking proper safety precautions later. Right now, I have to go save the life of the prettiest person I've ever seen.

 

"Octopus! Octopus!" I can't seem to make any other phrases come out of my mouth, but eventually the man looks up to see me barreling towards him, flailing my arms and yelling at the top of my lungs. He raises an eyebrow at me, staying far too calm considering the mortal peril he's in, and glances behind him to see who else I could possibly be talking to.

 

Unfortunately, that means he's not paying attention enough to sidestep me when the combination of my momentum and adrenalin send me toppling into him. We both splash down into the small waves lapping at the sand and I scramble to extricate myself from his long limbs as quickly as possible, crawling down to examine his ankles and prepared to risk my own life if I have to pull the octopus off of him.

 

"What are you doing? " His voice is lovely and posh, the vowels round and smooth and expensive.

 

"Saving your life, mate, you're welcome by the way," I grunt as I make another unsuccessful grab for the tentacles.

 

"From what? All you've done so far is endanger me, pushing me down and holding me in the water." He pauses. "If this is your attempt at murder by drowning, I think I pity you. First, you caused a scene by yelling the whole way down the beach before you assaulted me, and now you're not even bothering to hold my head under this truly pathetic amount of water. You're an absolute disaster."

 

"I told you—" (why are these tentacles so hard to grab,) "I'm not trying to kill you, I'm trying to save you."

 

"Save me from what, exactly?"

 

Ha! I've got you now, evil cephalopod!

 

"This!"

 

I hold the octopus up in triumph, feeling the water drip onto my sodden hair.

 

"From… a clump of seaweed?"

 

"What? No. No, it's an octopus."

 

Slowly, I lower the mass in my hand down to eye level, and immediately I feel my cheeks flame in embarrassment.

 

"Oh. Right. Sorry, then."

 

I try to push back from him and stand up, but my hand won't release the seaweed (it really did look like an octopus!). When I try to move a wave hits me, washing the sand out from under my foot and making me flounder for a few moments, only compounding my embarrassment. When I finally look up at the man I accidentally assaulted, he seems entirely unbothered by anything. He's lounging back on his elbows, somehow managing to look down his nose at me even though I'm sitting up fully now, and it's simply unfair how defined his abs are, even under his shirt.

 

"Do you make a habit of doing things like this?"

 

His eyes are too intense for me to look at any longer, they're a grey color that seems to be shifting to reflect the ocean behind me, and I have to busy myself with peeling the green fronds of seaweed away from my fingers.

 

"Like what?"

 

"Attacking strangers or playing the hero, take your pick."

 

"Sorry. I thought it was an octopus and I didn't want you to die," I mumble. This prick should be grateful, where does he get off being so smug anyway?

 

"Why on earth would I have died from an octopus touching me?"

 

"Because they're one of the most deadly creatures on earth!"

 

"What? No they're not. Not the ones around here, anyway. The blue ringed octopus is incredibly deadly, but it lives in the Pacific Ocean."

 

"But, couldn't they-"

 

He levels me with a look that could probably set me on fire.

 

"Mordelia!" One of the children comes running over from where they fled when I tackled their brother. She looks to be about twelve or thirteen, and while she isn't quite as dark and villainous looking as her brother she still has his same air of superiority. "Does this gentleman need to be worried about being attacked, maimed, or killed by any octopuses while swimming today?"

 

This kid - Mordelia, I guess - levels me with the most condescending look I have ever seen, and just scoffs . Actually scoffs at me, like I'm an imbecile. (Although, I still have seaweed stuck to me, so she may be onto something there.)

 

"No. Most accounts of cephalopod attacks can't be proven, and the few that have been entirely substantiated occurred in vastly different habitats or under circumstances that this beach couldn't support."

 

With that, she turns and runs back to the rest of her family, leaving me with only a parting eye roll.

 

"She's going through a marine biology phase."

 

It's the first thing the dark haired man has said to me in a casual manner, and I startle a bit. 

 

"Did you also have a marine biology phase?"

 

I think my question catches him off-guard, and I smirk.

 

"Perhaps," he answers after a beat. "But Mordelia's has been going on for three years now, so we think it may actually stick. Mine dried up after only a few months."

 

He smiles at me for the first time since I knocked him over, and it's almost painful how handsome he is, sprawled out elegantly on the beach like he's in an ad for expensive watches or cologne or something, and I can't believe I tackled him because of some stupid seaweed.

 

"I had a dinosaur phase," I confess, smiling back at him.

 

"Why doesn't that surprise me?" I reach down to help him up, and I'm shocked at how cold his fingers are, and how much I want to warm them up in my own. It's too bad I made such a horrible first impression, I would otherwise be sorely tempted to ask him out on a date. "What's your name, by the way? You've already attacked me, had we been in cars we would have exchanged names and proofs of insurance by now."

 

I’m such a mess. I didn't even think to ask what his name was.

 

"Simon. I'm Simon."

 

I go to shake his hand, and then realize that we're still holding hands, and I feel my cheeks grow redder still.

 

"Hello Simon, I'm Baz. It's nice to meet you, although the next time we meet I sincerely hope you can refrain from throwing yourself quite so bodily at me before we've even said hello."

 

"Yeah, umm, I'm sorry, really, I-" My brain catches up with my mouth. "Wait, did you say next time? "

 

His mouth curls up into a grin, and he gives my hand a squeeze as I try to figure out how I messed up so badly and things still worked out so well.

 

"Of course. For our first date, perhaps we can go to the aquarium and you can see what an octopus really looks like."